Neon Genesis Evangelion: Redux
by Squire of Gothos
Summary: Neon Genesis Evangelion romance/drama with Groundhog Day elements and a little humor thrown in. SxR. The pilots find themselves caught in a time-loop, and as things grow ever stranger, will they be able to figure out what's happening without going insane?
1. Chapter 1: Past is Future

Chapter 1 – Past is Future

* * *

Life. Pain. The now-familiar ache of loneliness. Soft pressure of cotton against her right eye, and a bandage around her head. Tightly wrapped bandages around her chest, and around her right arm. The firmness of a mattress pressed against her back, and the gentle weight of sheets covered her. Rei Ayanami opened her left eye and found that she lay in the embrace of an intensive care bed. The soft white light from above played over the smooth blank walls of the familiar hospital room.

_I am alive. I am recovering from injuries._

Her current setting was so different from her last memory that she bordered on shock. She closed her eyes in confusion, thinking back.

* * *

Flashback

Viewed from orbit, small white crosses of light blanketed the entire surface of the earth. The once blue oceans were now orange. Rei knelt on the earth's surface, her giant white form now easily visible from orbit. Gossamer wings that stretched out from her back like flower petals covered an entire hemisphere of the planet. Between her hands floated a smooth, black sphere containing the souls of all humanity.

Unit-01, now transformed into the Tree of Life by the Lance of Longinus, rested inside of her, and Shinji Ikari's essence rested inside Unit-01. She felt his newfound will to live. She felt him make his choice. And she felt herself begin to die.

She arched backwards, her massive white wings stretching over earth, elongating, losing shape and cohesion like the spreading patterns on a soap bubble. As the black moon hovered above her white form, a line of red blood formed around its circumference, cutting it in half. Another line of blood cut the sphere into fourths. Then into eighths. Red lines continued to spread, forming a checkerboard pattern, and the blood dripped down to fall onto her dying form, marring her white stomach.

The black moon burst into a shower of red droplets. The hazy red mist spread over her as it fell, and she felt her consciousness spread with it, out to infinity.

End Flashback

* * *

A shudder passed through her as she tried to come to grips with what this meant. Her radical change in form. The souls of all of humanity in her hands. Third Impact. Had Instrumentality taken place? She searched further back in her memory.

* * *

Flashback

Rei stood naked before Gendo Ikari in the dark gloom of Terminal Dogma. Behind her stretched the lake of orange LCL, and Lilith's massive white form crucified on a cross. She could feel her body shutting down, her AT-field barely able to hold her physical shape together. Gendo's hand, and Adam's embryonic form, moved inside her body towards the seat of her soul as she prepared to give him control of Instrumentality. A distant scream pierced her mind, and her eyes widened.

"Ikari..." she whispered.

Shinji was in pain. She could feel his heart calling out to her.

End Flashback

* * *

Gendo had been Rei's guardian for as long as she could remember. He had been present when she had first emerged from the comfort of liquid into the world of harsh light and darkness. He had taught her, molded her personality, made her who she was. In his mind, she was the being who would reunite him with his dead wife through Instrumentality. In reality, she was a sad, tortured, lonely girl.

She had tried to fill the void in her soul with the care and affection Gendo seemed to show her, and until she met Shinji it had been enough. Or atleast it had seemed to be enough. At first Shinji had refused to pilot the Evangelion. And so Gendo had sent her to pilot Unit-01 despite her life-threatening injuries. When Shinji saw her suffering, he had held her in his arms and agreed to pilot the Evangelion to save her from further pain. At the time she had not recognized the compassion in the gesture, it being so foreign to her.

It was not until the fifth Angel that she finally realized the truth. When he opened the hatch of her disabled Evangelion, his tearful, smiling face had touched her deeply. "I'm glad you're okay," had been his words. In all her life no one had ever shown such emotion for her.

Gendo cared for her only in the sense that she was his link to Yui, his dead wife. What drove the boy to care for her? It was this curiosity that pierced the cold, inhuman shell she had unconsciously built around herself to keep others out. Out of all the people she kept at arms length, this boy alone she allowed to get close to her.

The more she saw of Shinji, the more she realized that he cared for others almost unconditionally. He always considered what others thought before speaking or acting. Gradually Shinji began to fill the void of loneliness inside of her, replacing Gendo. In the end, she had heeded the boy's agonized scream, giving him control of Instrumentality, and betraying Gendo.

All these memories and more swirled through her mind as she lay in the hospital bed. Instrumentality had taken place. All of humanity had become one. So what was she doing here? Where was she? Or, more accurately, _when_ was she? Taking stock of herself, she found that the pattern of her injuries was consistent with another memory.

* * *

Flashback

She lay in her entry plug, her knuckles white as she clung to the pistol-grip controls to either side of her. Her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth clinched as Unit-00 rejected her. At the two points where her A10 clips connected into her nervous system, it felt as if someone had stuck knives into her head. The blinding pain shot from her A10 connection to the base of her skull and crawled down her spine as the nerve pulses binding her to the Eva reversed themselves. Through senses dulled by pain, she felt the machine straining against the shoulder bindings holding it to the wall of the test chamber, as it struggled to free itself.

She felt multiple small jerks as the wall began to crack and give way. With a triumphant roar that reverberated through the entry plug, the berserk machine freed itself, trailing cables and broken machinery from where it had been hooked to the mounting brackets. She felt the sudden movement as it stepped forward to the opposite wall and slammed its fist into it.

Through the haze of pain, she felt its rage at the tormentor it knew was on the other side of the armored window, watching it with cold, emotionless eyes. Gendo. The umbilical power cable ejected, and she felt the machine's fury at the knowledge that it would not be able to penetrate the Control Room before it ran out of power.

She felt a final shudder through the Eva's frame as it struck the wall one last time, before it turned its attention to the small form inside its entry plug. If it could not reach the man directly, it would reach him indirectly by hurting the being most precious to him. Bending its neck forward, it activated its automatic ejection system, blowing its occipital armor plate off, and sending the entry plug, and her, flying backwards and upwards into the unyielding wall.

End Flashback

* * *

That disaster, and the injuries she received, were burned into her memory. Multiple concussions. A broken arm. Bruises, internal bleeding and hemorrhaging. Only the cushioning effects of the LCL inside her entry plug had kept her alive at all.

The wounds she now had matched those wounds exactly. She was somehow back at the beginning, a week after her failed activation test with Unit-00. She did not know how, or why, but those questions would have to wait for later. Her unbandaged eye slowly closed as her confusion and exhaustion mixed, and she drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

Tokai District of Tokyo-3, at the waters edge.

The choppy water was marred at intervals by half-sunken buildings that rose grave-like from the depths. Beneath this section of water, the massive, vaguely humanoid shape of the Third Angel moved swiftly, drawn by an instinct it did not fully understand. It had felt Unit-00's cry of rage during the activation experiment, and had responded, going into a chrysalis state, and then growing into its current massive form. It had taken days to gestate, but it was finally here.

Tokyo-3 had been built over the impact-site of the gigantic black moon of Lilith that had crashed there long ago. A remnant of that blast crater was a natural ridge of earth that surrounded the city. A long, undulating road had been cut along the outer edge of the ridge facing towards the water. The road itself was almost completely obscured by the endless rows of tanks parked motionless on its surface, their turrets pointed out towards the approaching enemy. The silence stretched, and the ever-present sound of Cicadas only served to fill the morning air with tension. Suddenly a plume of water expanded skyward as the hulking shape moved up from the depths.

* * *

Speakers blared automated warnings over the deserted streets of Tokyo-3.

"May I have your attention. As of 12:30 PM today, a special state of emergency has been declared for the Gentou and Chubu regions surrounding the Tokai District. All residents must evacuate to their designated shelters immediately. Repeat, as of 12:30 PM today..."

The tinny voice coming from the speakers was as stark and desolate as the empty districts onto which it echoed. Most of the residents of the surrounding regions had already heeded the advance warnings, leaving only a person or two here and there scurrying for safety. A blue sports car sped down one of the now-empty streets.

"Damn! Why did I have to lose him at a time like this! Why now?!"

Captain Misato Katsuragi, Operations Director for NERV, was in a panic. She was lost yet again. She turned her car down another side street, hoping that it came out on the proper thoroughfare. She had to keep her speed down so that she could read the road signs, even though all of her instincts screamed at her to hold the accelerator to the floor.

* * *

The monstrous form of the third Angel was blanketed in explosions and debris from impacting shells as it trudged through the water, but it did not cease its forward motion. The tanks continued to fire, barrels traversing as the beast approached, but their shells seemed to be ineffective. The Angel plodded up to the water's edge, calmly reached down, and swept almost a dozen tanks off the road and into the water. The clang of metal on metal was lost in the din of explosions as the other tanks continued their barrage.

* * *

The scratchy, impersonal recording coming from the telephone only served to increase the gloom Shinji felt.

"We're sorry. Due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording."

The teenage boy slowly set the phone receiver back down in its cradle.

_She's late..._

He had already been waiting for over half and hour. He looked up at the nearest street sign, checking the address against the one she had given him.

_This is where I'm supposed to be. Unless she gave me the wrong address._

If she had, he was in big trouble, because this place had been laid out almost like a military barracks. The buildings were very regular. Everything was just so. It made it very easy to find and get to a place, if you knew where you were going, but it also ensured that everything looked exactly the same.

_I wouldn't put it past her to make a mistake like this._

She had _said_ she was twenty nine, but she didn't look it. Nor did she act or sound like someone that mature.

_If I had to guess, I'd put her at twenty three. Maybe._

Her bouncy speech and carefree attitude made her sound like a teenager.

"Ehh... it's no use. This is dumb! I shouldn't have come here."

He reached down to pick up his bag, taking one last look at a postcard of an attractive, raven-haired female winking and making a "V" sign with her fingers. Almost all of his experiences with the opposite sex had been painful rejections. This woman's attention had at once both embarrassed him and made him secretly yearn for more.

The quiet boy was by no means unattractive. He had a kind of charm about him that, had he been a little more open, would have attracted the opposite sex in droves. It was exquisitely ironic that the boy's reserved demeanor had a tendency to draw girls just close enough for them to be disappointed when he failed to recognize their veiled innuendos, glances, and giggles.

To Shinji Ikari, it might have looked like girls would approach to him, tantalize him with a small amount of attention, and then leave. It hurt worse and worse with each slight rejection, until they finally stopped coming at all. After all, there were only so many young, available females in the area he had lived, and eventually the majority of them met the Shinji Stone Wall of Embarrassed Silence.

_Captain Misato Katsuragi._

Cheerful. Happy. Of course, the more he thought about it, the more he had realized that this was probably her attitude towards everybody. He remembered the slight depression he had felt, realizing that.

_How could I think she was paying special attention to me? She doesn't know me from Adam_.

To tell the truth, he felt kind of silly for even having had such thoughts to begin with. And yet how could he not? His loneliness drew him, like a moth to a flame, towards anyone who gave him attention. And, like the moth, he always got burned in the end. And he always blamed himself, perpetuating the depression and further introversion.

"I guess we won't be meeting here..." The boy mumbled with a sigh, looking at his watch. Her tardiness was probably just an extension of her carefree attitude. He himself had always been taught strict punctuality, and it kind of irked him to have to wait like this.

The only reason he was here at all was because of the possibility that his father wanted him back in his life. He remembered the terse postcard. 'Report to NERV at once, I need you,' was all it had said. His father had written the eight words with his own hand. It gave a personal touch to the impersonal command. He could have just as easily had the message typed up.

_Why did I even come here? The first message my father sends me in years, and I run off so eager for his approval._

A hard lump formed in his throat as he remembered their last meeting. The dark, haunted look in his father's eyes as he turned away without a backward glance, or even a goodbye.

_This is why. I'm not going to be able to rest until I've faced him._

_I can't keep running forever._

That much he had finally learned. Something from the recorded message he had heard on the phone finally clicked in his mind.

_'Special state of emergency.'_

"Maybe I should find a shelter...huh?" out of the corner of his eye he saw the figure of a teenage girl with close-cropped blue hair in a school uniform standing motionless in the middle of the road several hundred feet away. Looking up in surprise, his view of the street was obscured momentarily by a flock of birds that choose that moment to take flight. Heat waves shimmered off of the empty street.

The boy stared, confused. The image of the girl had stirred something deep within him. Almost like a memory, but he knew he had never seen anyone like that in his life. Her face had seemed sad, or perhaps wistful. He stood, lost in thought, when suddenly the pavement on which he was standing shook violently. The boy braced himself, raising his hands protectively about his head and closing his eyes.

"Aaah..." Looking back up in stunned surprise, he saw a quintet of military VTOLs fly into view from around the edge of the low rise of mountains. They were flying backwards, and were obviously not what made the ground shake. Their pursuer came into view a bare hundred meters away, a massive humanoid figure striding among the buildings as if they were toys. Its long arms swinging as it walked, the menacing black figure advanced as the VTOLs fell back. The boy stared in horror.

* * *

Commander Gendo Ikari sat behind his desk, brooding. His white gloved hands were folded in front of his mouth, below the mirrored glasses that obscured his eyes. Voices gave status reports in the background as he watched the battle unfold.

"Unidentified intruder is still coming towards us."

"We've got it on visual, I'm putting it on the main screen."

"It's been fifteen years," he commented to the older man who stood slightly behind him at his shoulder. His voice betrayed little emotion. Indeed, he sounded like he had expected such an attack. Or even looked forward to it.

"Yes. Well now we know for sure," Sub-Commander Fuyutski responded. He too spoke as if he had foreknowledge, though he was more reserved. If one had detected the small amount of glee from Gendo at the oncoming harbinger, from this man one would notice a hint of apprehension.

"The angels are back."

* * *

The boy covered his head at the shriek of a flight of missiles directly overhead, the backwash from their passage buffeting him.

"Gahh!"

Violent explosions from the monster's general direction blinded him and then took his breath away as the overpressure hit him. The intense heat evaporated away all the perspiration and moisture on his skin and made his shirt so hot against his body that he momentarily wondered if it was on fire. He covered his head, closed his eyes, and waited for the end. The air quickly cooled, and the ground shivered again.

_Still alive._

He cracked open his eyes in time to see the dark shape lazily raise its arm and pierce a VTOL with a lance of energy. Other VTOLs came into view encircling it. The doomed airship the monster had struck smashed into the street two blocks away, spraying flaming fuel and burning parts in all directions. The street was littered with a fine layer of dust, debris, and large shards of shatter-proof armored glass. With a massive yellow flare, the angel lifted from the ground, smashing down onto the crashed VTOL, and Shinji closed his eyes again as another wave of intense heat swept over him. The screech of tires was completely hidden in the overpressure and noise.

"Sorry... Get in!"

The exclamation caused him to open his eyes. The boy looked, momentarily stunned, at the open door of the blue sports car. The smiling face behind the dark glasses matched the postcard.

"Am I real late?" She asked, as the boy finally overcame his panic and scrambled into the vehicle. Misato jammed the car into reverse, barely missing being stomped into the concrete as the angel stumbled. Both occupants yelled as the car whipped around, desperate to escape the war zone.

* * *

Gendo and Fuyutski listened to the panicked status reports coming over the JSSDF battle-net. The conventional forces were being methodically wiped out, and it appeared that the Angel had not even been scratched. The two men seemed unfazed by the horrendous loss of life. Or perhaps 'resigned' would be a better description. As if they had no real say in this part of the battle. Indeed, as if this was a necessary holocaust.

"Looks like an AT field, hmm?" Fuyutski murmured.

"Yes... conventional weapons are no match for the Angels." Gendo commented.

Fuyutski picked up the buzzing phone. He listened to it for a few short moments, and then spoke.

"I understand sir, we'll execute the backup plan at once."

* * *

The car careened down the road, and Misato smiled. She could finally floor it, now that she had found her protege. Unfortunately, the ground-quakes made from the Angel's stumbling worked against her, making it difficult to keep the car going in a straight line.

Shinji looked around the seat out the back window, watching the dark giant methodically swat at the VTOLs, which buzzed around it like annoying insects.

"Wh... what _is..."_ he stuttered, at a loss for words. He could not tear his eyes from the sight.

"We call them Angels," Misato answered cheerily, taking a guess at his incomplete question.

_Angels?_

That stunned the boy back into speechlessness. The name was so ludicrous he almost laughed. He was about to try to put together another sentence when he was suddenly thrown forward as she jammed on the breaks, sliding the car around in a quarter-circle. "Wha...?" he jerked his head back around to the front, wondering what she was avoiding.

_There's nothing there..._

He turned back around to find that she had extricated a pair of electro-binoculars from some hidden compartment, and was staring intently through them out the driver's side window back towards the distant battle. Shinji crawled over and pushed up under her arm trying to see what had her attention.

"Wait just a second..." she muttered. All the VTOLs seemed to be leaving the area for some reason.

_Why would they do that_? she wondered briefly. Then it hit her.

"No! They're going to use an N2 mine!" She turned and dove for the seat of the car, pinning him beneath her. He was totally unprepared for this.

"Mmmmph!" A massive blast cut off his protest and her shriek as a rippling plume of energy rose into the sky, expanding in all directions. The expansion seemed to slow as it approached, and then the overpressure wave hit, flipping the car off the road as if it were a toy. Shinji felt like he was in a rock-tumbler. The car flipped again and again, and all he could do was curl up into a ball and hope that neither he nor Misato got hurt.

The car finally came to rest on its side. Both side windows had been rolled down, so there was no danger from shattering glass. Shinji felt a crushing pressure on top of him, and wondered briefly if he was trapped under the car. Then he felt breath on his neck, and blushed deeply. It was not the car, but Misato who was on top of him.

"You okay?" she asked cheerfully, as she picked herself up.

"Y-yeah, I guess," he mumbled. He watched as she stood up, lifted her binoculars, and once again peered in the direction of the Angel. He was too stunned by the circumstances to question her behavior. He peeked up out of the open window and looked in the direction she was facing. She did not stay still for long, as it turned out. She extracted herself from the car, and he gratefully followed, happy that atleast one of them seemed to know what they were doing. She walked around to the back of the car where she put both hands on the hood.

"Are you all right?" she asked. "Come on, help me push!"

He obeyed, and after several seconds of straining, the car came back down on its wheels with a bang.

"Thanks, Shinji, you're pretty useful."

"I should thank you Ms. Katsuragi." He was certain that he would have died had she not rescued him.

"Ah, Misato is fine."

_This kid is going to make me feel middle-aged if he keeps up the 'Miss' bit,_ she sighed to herself.

_Oh well, I guess I can't fault him for being polite._

She took off her sunglasses and surveyed the scraped and dented car.

* * *

The wreck of a car rattled down the road as Misato spoke into the phone she held to her ear.

"Yes, I've got him. No, don't worry, his safety is my top priority. Look, can you get a car train ready for us? Linear Express, of course. Right, bye!"

Her cheery outer voice gave way to a sad inner monologue,

_"Hohhh, this stinks... I just got this car repaired and it's a total wreck already. Thirty three more payments to go plus the cost of repairs... and look, my favorite dress, it's ruined! And I looked so good in it..."_ she sobbed, imaginary, round teardrops bouncing from her eyes.

"Uh, Ms... Misato, excuse me..." He hated to bring this up, especially after all she had done for him, but it had started to gnaw at him.

She was shaken from her reverie and put on a cheery smile. "Hmm?"

"Umm, well," he glanced towards the rear of the car, "those batteries, isn't that theft?" He had followed her instructions at the time, still being under the effects of adrenaline, and the shame that he had been useless. However, as he slowly regained his wits, he had become more and more uneasy.

"Ah, oh, don't worry about it. It's an emergency, and we needed a working car, right? Besides, I _am_ a government official after all, so everything's going to be fine. Okay? O-kay..."

"Mmmmm..." Shinji fidgeted in agitation. "...I don't think _any_one will buy that excuse..." Now that the threat of the Angel was more distant, he found himself thinking about the poor shopkeeper who would return to his store and find half the batteries on the shelf missing. He knew that she had not bothered to look at the store sign. She had no intention of repaying the man. He doubted that this was because of any intentional malice. She was simply doing her job with whatever resources she could find. But it still pained him.

"Oh, you're no fun. You know, you're not as cute as I thought you'd be."

Misato had meant the words in jest, but to Shinji they were like arrows that sank into his heart. He sighed, his depression deepening.

"Is that so," he mumbled, his face downcast. Misato was just like all the others.

_She's got a bad impression about me, and there's nothing I can do about it. And I did it to myself, as usual._

Misato leered playfully at his expression.

"Oooh, angry? I'm sor-ry, you're just a boy after all." She found herself slightly disappointed. He kept avoiding her expression and fidgeting no matter how she tried to engage him in conversation.

Shinji resigned himself to the teasing. She didn't understand. She had no idea what he was going through, and it wasn't worth explaining. He'd probably just fumble the words even if he tried. She _had _saved him, but only because she had put him into danger in the first place, he realized. Her lackadaisical attitude had caused her to be late. They would not even be in this position if she had been on time. She was no better than he, in some ways.

He looked over at her. "You're not as mature as I thought you'd be, either."

Her smirk froze. "Wh... rrrrr... what'd you say?!" She recognized the sharpness of his tone, and wondered what she had done to earn his ire.

_Can't the boy take a little teasing?_

The car began to swerve all over the road as it continued on towards its destination, its two occupants yelling indiscriminately at each other.

* * *

The view screen showed a picture of devastation, the result of the N2 detonation. In the very epicenter of the blast crater, barely visible in the haze and debris, stood the organic form of the Angel. It pulsed and moved slightly as it regenerated its slightly damaged body.

Fuyutski looked away from the terrible scene. "The UN forces have been depleted. What are you going to do?"

"Activate Unit-01," Gendo answered, rising from behind his desk.

"Activate it? But we have no pilot!..." the old man replied, incredulous. Surely he didn't mean to use Rei.

"Not anymore," Gendo said matter-of-factly. "Another spare is being delivered."

_Thank God, _Fuyutski thought. He smiled, closing his eyes. He should have known his young pupil would have a backup plan.

* * *

The Linear train descended below ground level as it headed towards its destination deep under the earth's surface. It picked up speed as it traveled, carrying the small blue car and its two occupants to safety.

"Misato, are we going to see my father?" Shinji asked. He wondered yet again why the man had sent for him. Despite how they had separated last, he still wanted the man's recognition and praise. He had simply been marking time back where he had been living, and the possibility that his father needed him sparked a deep longing that he found impossible to ignore. Misato snapped shut her cell phone, her cheery voice making her seem near-hysterical.

"Of course. Of course we are!"

"Oh..." He trailed off, becoming slightly more downcast.

_He stood alone, a young boy, crying, as his father turned away from him to leave. The bag beside him contained everything he owned, and was nearly as big as he was._

His need for recognition mixed with the sadness brought by the memory.

"By the way..." Misato's exclamation caused him to flinch slightly, jarring him back to the real world, "...did you get your ID card?"

"...yeah," He looked into his bag, found the folded piece of paper and handed it to her. "Here." The paper was full of creases, as if it had been crumpled up at one point, and then flattened out again. Which it had, actually. The final choice to come here had not been an easy one for Shinji.

Misato gave him a slim binder with the stylized NERV logo on it.

"Start reading this."

He accepted it, slightly puzzled. It looked like an operations manual of some sort. These were usually secret. That she would give him one could only mean one thing.

"NERV. My father's agency. Am I... going to work for him?"

Misato folded her hands behind her head, leaning back and closing her eyes as the train carried them further downwards.

"What am I saying." His tone became as gloomy as the darkness into which they descended. "My father wouldn't have called me unless he needed me for something." He had hoped that his father had finally decided to bring him back into his life. With a sinking feeling he now began to realize that this had been a fantasy. His father needed him for some task, after which he would most likely to be kicked back out without so much as a thank-you.

"Sounds like you two don't get along. You sound just like me." Misato's voice took on a kind of wistful tone, but Shinji was too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice.

The train passed through the last layer of armor out into open air, startling him. "Huh?... oh wow!" His depressing thoughts were banished as all around him he saw the skyscrapers of Tokyo-3, inverted, jutting from the armor above and stretching towards the floor of the canyon below, as if the whole city had been turned on its head.

"Awesome!" He could not even begin to calculate how much time and money it would have taken to produce something on this scale.

Misato grinned, happy that the awe-inspiring sight had finally taken his mind off of whatever was making him so melancholy.

"The Geofront, NERV's secret headquarters. This is mankind's last hope of rebuilding the world."

He wondered at that. _This is... was this even built by human hands? _He knew the buildings were human, but it would have taken a truly monumental effort to excavate a circular area of this size.

_It's... almost like a waste of space. Why go to the trouble and incur such extreme expense just to make a massive open area for trees and lakes and...?_

He let the question go unasked, deciding instead to simply enjoy the scenery. The train carried them downwards, light glinting off the massive, man-made pyramid below and scattering through the lush greenery and sprawling lakes and landscape.

* * *

As Misato led him through seemingly endless hallways, moving sidewalks, and elevators, Shinji was once again reminded of why she had been late.

"...umm, haven't we been by here twice now?"

"Well, that's what these escalators are for!" she said, just a touch too cheerfully. _Ooh, how could I get lost again??_ she wailed inwardly. _Of all the luck..._

"...Miss Misato..." His murmur was still almost too low to hear.

The door ahead of them whooshed open, the sound covering his voice.

"...are we safe down here?..." he blurted out, then turned a slight red.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, we've got plenty of armor plating between us and that Angel. Don't worry!" she said with a reassuring smile. She did not seem to notice his discomfort.

"...oh, okay." He went back to memorizing the manual she had given him, embarrassed. He was so engrossed in his reading that he did not notice anything until it suddenly became dark. He jumped at the sound of a massive door being slammed shut behind him.

"Huh? Who turned out the..." a light snapped on somewhere above him illuminating the massive form before him.

"Aaaah! Oh, a face... a giant robot..." The massive purple armored visage stared lifelessly back at him. He was standing in a very large open space, perhaps a hangar of some kind. He could not see the edges of the room because of the darkness. He flipped through the book he was holding, looking for information.

"You won't find this in there."

"Huh?" he looked up in confusion at the woman who had stepped into view.

"I'm Ritsuko. Pleased to meet you. Captain Katsuragi, this is the alternate pilot?"

Misato nodded. "According to the Marduk report, he is the Third Child."

_Pilot?_ He wondered at that, and at Misato's strange answer. Her words had no meaning to him, but the sight of the giant machine seemed to spark a kind of recognition in his mind, though he didn't know why.

Ritsuko continued, "This is mankind's last hope, the Evangelion."

Shinji stared in wonder. "Is this my father's work?"

Another light snapped on, illuminating a control room several stories above them where a man stood, looking down at them through the window.

"Correct," he said, through the speakers, giving his son a level, emotionless gaze. "It's been a while."

Shinji looked down. "Father..." The man seemed unfazed by their long absence.

_Does he even have any feelings at all? The least he can do is _act _like he's happy to see me._

The man's lips thinned in what might have been the beginnings of a smile. The boy had not run or panicked yet. "We're moving out."

Misato's eyes bulge at this, "Moving out? But, Unit-00 is still in cryostasis..." she gasped, "...wait-a-minute, you're going to use Unit-01??"

"There's no other way." Ritsuko responded evenly.

"Now wait. Rei can't do it yet, can she? We don't have a pilot!" It was obvious that Misato had not been included in the planning process.

Ritsuko folded her arms as Shinji tried to keep up with the conversation.

"We just received one." She turned to Shinji, who was looking at his feet. "Shinji Ikari, you will pilot it."

"Uh?" he looked up, his thoughts shattered.

Misato interrupted, "But even Rei Ayanami took seven months to synchronize with her Eva. It's impossible for him to do it! He just got here."

"He just has to sit in the seat, we don't expect more than that."

"U-b-but..." Misato stuttered helplessly.

"Listen, defeating that Angel is our first priority. If he's got a chance at synchronizing with that Eva, then we've got to risk it."

Shinji's gaze slowly drifted down to his feet again.

_He's sending me out to die. He never even wanted me, and now he thinks I'll just throw my life away for him._

His shoulders twitched slightly.

"Why did... you send for me?" he asked, desperate for even a few words of acknowledgment.

_Please. Want me. Tell me that you care. Don't just throw me out again._

"You know why I sent for you." Gendo answered, wondering at the boy's question.

Shinji looked at his father, his depression and anger deepening as he realized his father was not going to say the words he wanted to hear.

"So you're asking me to take this thing, and go out there and fight?"

"Correct," Gendo replied.

The man's reticence was finally too much for Shinji to take.

"How can you do this to me!? I thought you didn't want me! Why?! Why did you have to call me now, father??" His voice broke as the years of emotional turmoil he had endured finally found an outlet. His anger was tinged with shame, but the emotions welling up within him could no longer be suppressed.

"Because, I have a use for you."

"But why me?"

_What makes me special? You don't love me. You don't want me. Why did you call for me?_

"Because, there is no one else who can."

"No! I can't... I've never even seen anything like this before!" Something in his mind cracked, and he knew that this was not the truth. An image flashed across his consciousness.

_Liquid splashed over the body of the Eva, slowly washing away the thick, viscous clumps of partially-dried blood which clung to its massive frame..._

He blinked, staring, and the Eva stared lifelessly back at him. The purple coolant that reached up to its neck level was placid and unmoving. His father's words again jarred him.

"You will be instructed."

"Th... there's no way..." he muttered in disbelief, though it was unclear whether this was in response to the man's statement, or to the vision he just seen. Gendo's patience was apparently at an end.

"If you're going to do it, do it now. If not, then leave..." He was interrupted by an explosion that rocked the facility. The man turned away from the window, perhaps to stare at some hidden view-screen. "That bastard's found us..." His voice was barely audible through the speakers.

Ritsuko walked up to the boy. "Shinji, there's no time."

He turned to look pleadingly at Misato, who merely stared back.

"Please, get in," she said softly. She seemed to know what he was going through, but had no authority to do anything about it.

"Th... this is ridiculous. I can't..." The boy was so confused and disheartened he could not put a sentence together. Everything was a blur around him.

Misato bent down to look him in the face."Why did you come here? Don't run from your father. Or atleast, don't run from yourself."

The compassion and sorrow in her eyes was such that she could have been talking to herself as well as to the boy, as if she was remembering some past hurt, or regretting some past decision.

* * *

Gendo watched the figures arguing below, and made a decision. He turned to a monitor.

"Fuyutski." The monitor fuzzed briefly, then showed the older man.

"Yes?"

"Wake up Rei."

Fuyutski felt a coldness settle in the pit of his stomach at that statement. Was the backup incompatible after all? He realized he had no idea of Rei's condition. Gendo had him so busy that he had not even been able to check on her.

"Is she available?" he asked unbelievingly.

"Well, she isn't dead."

Fuyutski recognized the man's glib tone. It meant that the situation was beyond hope. The coldness grew, and yet he knew that this was the only choice. All they could do was throw Rei at this threat, even knowing it was a last-ditch effort that would likely fail.

"I understand."

* * *

Rei came awake, hearing the monitor on the bedside table fuzz to life. The Commander's face. She thought back. If events followed their previous path, Shinji Ikari would even now be refusing to pilot Eva. Her memories at that time were hazy with the pain she had been in, but she remembered his arms cradling her as he protected her.

"Rei," Gendo said.

"Yes." The girl answered softly.

"The backup turned out to be useless. Try again."

"Yes sir."

She winced at the sharp stabs of pain as she sat up. It was almost too much to bear, but it was necessary. She turned, allowing her feet to fall to the floor, looking at the impossibly distant plug suit lying folded on a changing table on the other side of the room. Forcing the pain from her mind, she slid off the bed, and with careful steps, she made her way towards the distant goal, blinking against the haze that filled her vision. Her vision began to tunnel, and her hearing faded, but she clung desperately to her fading consciousness. Halfway to the goal, she nearly collapsed, and heard a distant exclamation as arms surrounded her, trying to lead her back to the ICU bed.

"No..." she whispered. "I must... dress. Ikari... needs me."

She heard someone curse nearby. "...Gendo is insane to force her to do this..."

But her words were not about the Commander. From her memory, she knew that it was her presence that pushed Shinji to pilot the Eva. As gentle hands took off her hospital gown and helped her slip into the plug-suit, she drifted back into semi-consciousness.

* * *

Ritsuko glared at Shinji, then turned and yelled into the darkness.

"Reconfigure Unit-01's systems for Rei. Restart!" She then turned and walked away. Misato frowned, and then slowly walked away as well.

The boy stood alone amidst the surrounding darkness of both his mind and the giant hangar.

_"As I thought, they don't really need me after all."_

The door at the end of the gangway opened, and two orderlies pushed a stretcher into the room. On it was a female about his age with close-cropped blue hair framing her face. Her back arched momentarily, her unbandaged eye closing as her teeth clinched in pain.

_That must be the other pilot,_ he realized.

_My father is insane. She's in no position to do this._

_She doesn't even look like she could stand._

The girl was obviously in pain just from being moved. Compassion welled up within him, and then anger, at what his father was doing.

_He really would force her to pilot._

But he was also using her, showing the boy what he was doing. 'Agree to pilot, or watch her suffer.'

Another memory intruded into his mind.

_The massive white figure hovered over earth, white wings stretching out behind her. The planet below slowly turned, once-blue oceans now orange..._

He staggered, in his mind, then in real life as the entire facility again shook, but with much more force. He grabbed his head at the sharp pain that came along with the memories.

_Where are these images coming from? What do they mean?_

Pieces of girder and ceiling began to fall, and the girl was thrown from the stretcher. He looked up, and saw a large girder come loose and slowly begin to fall directly towards her.

"No!..." He ran to her side and cradled her in his arms, trying to protect her from the falling debris. The liquid beneath the platform roiled, and there was a loud clang above them. Shinji closed his eyes, trying to blot everything out. The images. The girl's pain. His own pain.

The loudspeakers blared in the background. "Eva moved! It tore off the binding on its right arm!" Shinji's father looked out the window with what might have passed for a wry grin, but looked more like a frowning smirk.

Ritsuko sat on the ground, loose paper scattered around her. "Impossible!" she yelled. "The entry plug hasn't been inserted yet!"

Misato looked over at Shinji, Rei in his arms, and Eva's arm above him. "Did it protect him?" she asked unbelievingly. "He... he can do it..."

Shinji crouched, the girl shuddering in his hands in what was obviously unspeakable agony. He felt her blood dripping through the seams in the plug suit, and with a morbid fascination, held up his hand, looking at the red liquid as it dripped down.

_Her blood is on my hands_. _If I refuse to pilot, her blood really_ will _be on my hands. And my father's._

_I don't care about him, but... I... don't know if I could live with myself, if I refuse._

He clinched his eyes shut.

_"Don't run away... Don't run away... Don't run away!_

Finally, he looked up at his father, anger in his eyes,

"I'll do it. I'll pilot it!"

His father regarded him with cold eyes. As he stood up, he felt Misato's hand on his shoulder. She led him over the scaffolding towards a strange-looking seat that was attached to a crane-arm leading up into the darkness. He was numb now that he had made the decision. He allowed himself to be guided into the seat, resting his hands on the pistol-grip controls to either side, his eyes glazed, unseeing. Misato's face swam into view as she leaned over him, reaching up to touch his head. Pressure. Something being attached. Two somethings. He didn't care. Her face was full of worry, but he didn't notice, even as she lowered her hand to his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Shinji. Everything's going to be okay. Just..."

Her voice cracked as she tried to say something else, but could not seem to get the words out. Her face disappeared, and he felt her hand leave his shoulder as the seat moved, smoothly lifting him up and out over the purple liquid below, towards a long shadow extending out of the back of the giant machine. It was shrouded in darkness, and he could barely make out the long shape. He found himself being lowered into a large, square hole in the cylinder. The seat settled to a stop inside, and he felt connections lock into place. With almost no sound, the hatchway above him closed, plunging him into complete darkness.

Light flickered, and then he could see again, a dull glow illuminating the curved, blank walls around him. Memories seemed to tickle the edges of his consciousness, just out of reach. The small enclosed space seemed almost like a birthing chamber, or a womb. As he sat in the close embrace of the plug seat and the surrounding walls, he felt comfort mixed with a deep sadness, though he did not know why. He sensed motion, a kind of twisting, and then a clank, and a deep thump. His seat had moved laterally, and the cylinder had twisted around it, he realized. Inserting him into the machine.

He heard status reports echo through the entry plug, the voices loud, but not uncomfortably so.

"Begin the first connection."

He felt a slight twinge run through his mind. He was still in his street clothes. He had seen the form-fitting suit that the female pilot had worn. Rei, they had called her. His cheeks tinged pink as he remembered. The suit left nothing to the imagination. Her beauty was a little austere, but beautiful she was. He closed his eyes against the intruding memory of the strange girl, and the conflicting emotions he felt. Soft, ever-changing colors pulsed against his eyelids.

"Inject LCL into the entry plug."

Ritsuko's voice was uncommonly loud in the enclosed space. He winced slightly, opening his eyes. He looked down in alarm as a yellowish liquid entered the plug from the bottom, its level rising steadily. For some reason he had expected it to be ice cold, but it was slightly warmer then his skin. The memories hovering at the edge of his mind blossomed for a moment, before dissipating just as quickly.

"Wait!..."

Images of unfamiliar people.

Then, an image that seemed familiar.

_If only I could remember..._

"Huh?..." He had missed part of what Ritsuko was telling him, and the chamber was now filled.

"...you'll get used to it soon." He breathed normally, feeling the liquid move in his lungs. Despite the strange smell, it felt... right.

_Like I've done this before. But how is that possible?_

The buzz of status reports continued, and they no longer seemed too loud, as if the liquid muted them somewhat.

"Connect the main power supply."

"Second contact is beginning."

"The connection of the A10 nerve is operational."

Rainbow lights ran up and down the cylinder, and he felt a stronger twinge from whatever it was they had attached to his head.

_"Shinji..."_

His eyes widened. The voice was warm. Inviting. Full of... something he hadn't felt in a long time. It was full of love.

_I... I know that voice..._

* * *

Ritsuko stood on one of the bridges of Central Dogma looking over Lieutenant Maya Ibuki's shoulder. Maya's fingers moved over the keys of her console with practiced ease.

"Rate of synchronization is seventy two point eight percent."

"Incredible..." Ritsuko breathed. She had expected something much lower, if he synchronized at all.

"Slight fluctuation in the harmonics, but everything is within acceptable parameters."

"It'll work..." Ritsuko said, glancing back at Misato.

The other woman nodded, her mouth set in a hard line. "Prepare for launch!"

Bolts released, interlocks disengaged, and the Eva moved towards the launch cage along the track. Above, hatches opened in sequence, leading to the surface.

"The course is clear, all green!"

Misato turned to Gendo. "Are you sure about this?" The boy was so fragile-looking. Quiet. She hated what they were about to do to him.

Gendo responded without hesitation. "Of course. We have no future unless we defeat the angels."

Fuyutski turned slightly. "Are you really sure about this?"

Beneath his gloved hands, Gendo gave an uncharacteristic smile.

* * *

The LCL seemed to shimmer and disappear around him as he synchronized with the giant machine. There was a slight warm/cool sensation and he realized that he is now feeling what the Eva was feeling. He felt the last of the coolant liquid running from his feet. He felt the small currents from the air circulation system. With a slight movement, the machine came to a stop. His vision cleared, and he realized he was seeing out of the Eva's eyes. Status boxes appeared at the edges of his vision, similar to a heads-up display.

"Launch!"

As Misato's voice reverberated through the entry plug, a giant hand seemed to clamp down on him, and he could only gasp and close his eyes, as the giant hybrid went from a stand-still to launch velocity almost instantly. He desperately held on to his fading consciousness as he hurtled upwards, feeling the sudden shifts as he traveled, going from vertical to a slight diagonal, then back to vertical again. After what felt like an eternity, the pressure relented and the Eva slammed to a stop. The LCL cushioned him, preventing him from being bounced out of his seat with the sudden change of motion. Opening his eyes and blinking away the haze and stars, he saw only blackness. And then blinding brightness as the cross-hatched doors slid open.

His eyes adjusted, and he found himself on the surface, inside an armored building, facing a long street, low buildings on both sides. The Angel appeared around the corner of a building, its loping gait and limp arms giving it an otherworldly appearance. It stopped and turned, facing him. He looked back at the Angel, worry gnawing away at his insides. Its red heart pulsed, and something deep in his heart, and the Eva's, pulsed as well. Misato's voice broke the moment.

"Are you ready Shinji?"

"Uh... yes."

_I hope._

"Final safety locks: release! Evangelion, move out!"

Ritsuko interrupted. "Shinji, just concentrate on walking for now."

"Uh..."

_"walk..."_

As he imagined moving his foot, the Eva took a step. He could feel the unyielding ground beneath him.

"He's walking!" Ritsuko yelled jubilantly.

"Walking..." As Eva took another step towards the monster, Shinji felt something behind him. "Why... why is it off balance?" he asked, trying to maintain his concentration.

"That's just the power umbilical behind you," Ritsuko said in encouragement. "You're doing great. Just keep on... look out!"

While his attention was elsewhere, the Angel had closed the distance between them. It reached out, grabbed the Eva's head, and lifted it off the ground. Shinji froze as the Angel gripped his arm with its other hand, stretching it out and pulling.

"Aaaaah!"

The pain was almost unbearable, blocking out all thought.

"Shinji, calm down, that's not you're real arm! Where's his defense systems?" Ritsuko snapped.

Technicians began yelling in the background.

"The signal's not working."

"His field's not up, it's not unfolding!"

"It's not up??" Eva's arm snapped, the hand now hanging useless.

"Left arm, damaged!"

"The circuits are down!"

The Angel's energy lance pulled back, then smashed into Eva's head. It pulled back, and again smashed home. Shinji held his head in agony, the yelling in the background fading out.

"There's a crack in the brain-case! That armor can't take much more!..." After several more blows, the lance pierced Eva's head, extending to smash the entire machine back into the launch bay.

"Extent of damage, unknown... the control circuits are breaking up!"

"I'm not getting any readings on the pilot!"

"No... Shinji!!" Misato's distant yell was the last thing he heard.

All sensation vanished, and as he floated, he felt comforting arms surround him. The flood of memories was overwhelming.

Everything was going to be okay. He knew this. He relaxed into the welcoming embrace.

The Eva's soul looked down upon Shinji with compassion. Then out at the monster outside. She knew the boy did not want to fight. Not yet, anyway. Fighting would cause him pain. Right now he needed time to put his shattered memories back together. And so she reached deep inside the Eva and... pushed.

Shinji's consciousness began stretching out towards infinity.

* * *

An indeterminate time later, his consciousness became clear again. He was in his mother's arms, their mutual embrace slowly turning over an orange-tinged earth.

"I... I know this place."

He should have been feeling comfort, the love of his mother clear in his mind.

"Why don't I feel anything? It's all so... empty."

Words echoed in his mind,

_"You know why."_

"Yes. I... remember."

Instrumentality. The memories flowed over him once again, but there was no emotion to them.

"I can't... I..."

Words again echo, _"Don't you want to stay here?"_

"No. I mean, I don't know..."

_I chose to return to reality. Why am I here again?_

_I decided... that I would rather feel pain, and thus have a chance to feel happiness._

Shinji realized that this was still his choice.

* * *

He opened his eyes, looking to the right. The beach on which he now lay was bathed in orange light reflecting off the amber-colored water that lapped against the shore. He looked to his other side, beginning to panic. A terrible sense of loneliness pierced him, matching the desolate ruins of Tokyo-3 looming in the distance.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this..._

Last time there had been another person beside him. Someone who had caressed his face. All alone on the empty beach, he closed his eyes again, emotion overcoming everything else. Even the Cicadas were silent.

Far below in the pitted and cratered NERV headquarters, deep underground, Unit-01's eyes flashed with luminescence. It opened its mouth in a primal scream as its AT field expanded from its back in the form of massive yellow wings, which unfolded high overhead.

Everything went black.

* * *

"We're sorry. Due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording." Shinji glumly set the receiver back down.

"Ehh... it's no use. This is dumb! I shouldn't have come here." He reached down to pick up his bag, taking a last look at the postcard.

"I guess we won't be meeting here..." He looked at his watch, unsure of what to do.

"Maybe I should find a shelter...huh?" out of the corner of his eye he saw the figure of a teenage girl with close-cropped blue hair in a school uniform standing motionless in the middle of the road several hundred feet away.

_The massive white figure hovered over earth, white wings stretching out behind her. The planet below slowly turned, once-blue oceans now orange..._

Heat waves shimmered off the empty street.

He stared, momentarily lost, when suddenly the pavement on which he was standing shook violently. The boy braced himself, cringing and closing his eyes.

"Aaah..." Opening his eyes in stunned surprise, he saw a quintet of VTOLs fly into view from around the edge of the low rise of mountains. The Angel came into view and continued to advance as the VTOLS fell back. Shinji stared in horror, but a memory stirred deep within his mind.

He covered his head as the backwash from a flight of missiles hit him.

"Gahh!"

Explosions enveloped the Angel, and intense heat washed over him, but this time he didn't notice. He remembered doing this before. With a massive yellow flare, the angel lifted from the ground, smashing a VTOL down a mere two blocks away. The screech of tires was completely hidden in the overpressure and noise.

"Sorry... Get in!" Misato's smiling face behind the dark glasses matched the postcard. The boy looked, momentarily stunned, at the open door of the blue sports car as a VTOL overhead cut loose with every weapon it had.

"Am I real late?" Explosions again engulfed the angel as the confused boy scrambled into the vehicle. She jammed the car into reverse, barely missing being stomped into the concrete as the angel stumbled. Both occupants yelled as the car whipped around, desperate to escape the war zone.

Shinji was in a daze, trying to make sense of what was going on. He felt himself slipping into unconsciousness as he desperately fought to separate memory from reality.

* * *

"He's catatonic." a woman's voice.

"Wake up Rei." a man's voice. Familiarity. He opened his eyes as he lifted his head from the cold metal.

_Am I still...?_

He looked at his hand, which was shaking slightly. He looked up at his father in the control room, emotion flaring in his mind. Compassion. Anger. He knew who he was. He knew what he was capable of. And he knew without a shadow of a doubt what to do.

"I'll pilot it."

Gendo turned, surprise momentarily breaking through his impenetrable mask. "What?"

"I'll pilot it!" he yelled.

The first explosion hit the facility moments later as Misato helped him over to the plug-seat.

* * *

Shinji was once again numb as the reports echoed through the entry plug, but this time for a different reason. His mouth was a hard line.

"...second contact is beginning."

"The connection of the A10 nerve is operational."

"Rate of synchronization is..."

"...impossible." Ritsuko breathed.

"Launch!" Misato yelled. He braced himself, feeling the familiar shock of the g-forces of launch. As he hurtled upwards, he prepared himself, as he always did before a battle, thinking of all the people he was protecting. The city that had been entrusted into his hands, and Eva's.

He felt the giant machine slam to a halt in the armored entry-point, and the cross-hatched doors slid away in front of him. The Angel appeared around the corner of a building, and Shinji prepared himself as he felt the restraining bolts disengage.

"Shinji, just concentrate on..."

He had already left the entry point and was sprinting towards the Angel as Ritsuko spoke. He smiled slightly. It felt good to run. He was no longer running away from his problem, he was running towards it. And it had no idea what was about to happen. He gave the mental command, and his shoulder armor came apart slightly, the prog-knife sliding up into view. Reaching up with his right arm over to his left shoulder as he ran, he drew it, feeling it shimmer to life in his hands. This Angel was already dead, in his mind.

"It's... like he's born to pilot it..." he heard Ritsuko's breathless comment.

AT fields clashed as the monster tried to slow him down, and he knew the familiar feeling of melding his own field to the Angel's, eroding through so that he could directly engage it.

_Just like riding a bicycle,_ he thought, as he plunged the prog-knife into the Angel's heart. The Angel had reached one hand to his throat and the other to his head, and was now drawing back its lance. It slammed into the Eva's brain-case armor, rattling him.

"Yaaaaaaaahhh!" He yelled, unleashing all of his anger on the enemy before him, ignoring the sharp pain from the Angel's blow. The knife flared with sparks for a few long moments, and the Angel managed to strike him once more with its weapon before losing cohesion, engulfing them both in an expanding bloom of energy and overpressure.

"Aaaaaaahhh!!" He grabbed his head, trying to control the shards of memories coalescing in his mind. More memories.

_How... just how long a life did I live, before traveling back to this place?_

"Berserker!" Shinji heard one of the technicians yell as he felt a stabbing pain shoot down from where his A10 clips connected to his head. The pain diminished somewhat, as if the machine was trying to protect him even is it took over, and everything was washed away in a haze of pain and confusion.

* * *

He slowly returned to consciousness, opened his eyes, and sat up.

White hospital bed, the walls and ceiling devoid of color, but not of emotion. The ever present sound of cicadas served to accentuate things.

He lay back in bed, eyes blank, memories overwhelming him.

"Unfamiliar ceiling..."

_yet, not unfamiliar._


	2. Chapter 2: Purpose

Chapter 2

The afternoon sun made a pool of light where it shone through the open doorway. Shinji's hospital room opened out into the familiar window-lined hallway. The sunlight and the sheets covering him seemed to dispel the usual chill of the hospital atmosphere.

_No... it's not that._

_It's the circumstances. I'm finally in a place that's familiar._

Shinji stared at the blank hospital ceiling, trying to make sense of what was happening to him.

_I'm remembering a past life. I've already lived through all of this._

It was difficult to put it all together, but this much he knew. The memories almost seemed out of order at times. Maybe he wasn't remembering all of it. But what he had just gone through, he knew that was different from... what he remembered. He had done better. He smiled slightly.

_Of course I did better. I'm not some rookie pilot any more, like the first time I was here._

He had defeated or survived all the Angels already. This was a priceless opportunity. He was repeating his life. He didn't know how, and he didn't know why, but he would definitely take advantage of this. His smile faded, as he continued thinking. He didn't remember everything, but he knew that he had been extremely lucky during a few of his previous battles. Perhaps even foreknowledge would not help, if luck happened to fail him this time through.

_I seem to remember fighting that first Angel... atleast three times now. Have I already died more than once?_

And yet here he was. He wondered at this. If he died, did everything start over? He remembered waiting for Misato. She was always late. He had definitely been to that point in time more than twice. But everything before that was... more solid. Regular memories.

_Do I always return to that spot if I die?_

If so, then that was even better. He'd be able to methodically work his way forward, eventually getting everything perfect.

_But I don't really know anything for sure. What if it all stops resetting? What if I die, thinking everything will reset, and it doesn't?_

_I can't count on resetting. I'll have to try to do better, and if I happen to die, I can only hope that it isn't permanent._

He chuckled at that. This had to be the strangest mental trail he'd ever been down. 'What if death is not permanent' sounded like a philosophical question. To him, it was something that he would need to learn. Would undoubtedly learn.

He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd keep going through Angels unscathed. He was good, but he wasn't blind. For one thing, he always seemed to be rescued by his Eva going berserk. And that was always preceded by strong emotion. But, if he looked at everything calmly, knowing what was coming, the emotion would be different. He realized with a cold fear that he really _would_ have to get better, and he'd have to get better fast. A better Eva pilot.

As the afternoon shadows lengthened, he turned slightly morose. Piloting the Eva caused him such pain. Pain when Eva went berserk, when he was jolted by sudden flashes and images. The heart-ache of remembering his lost mother. The regular pains of battle when the enemy damaged his Eva. Yet...

* * *

Flashback

The distant explosions and gunfire drew closer as the invading JSSDF forces penetrated deeper into NERV HQ. Misato's lips pressed into Shinji's, urgency, tenderness, and sorrow mixed in equal parts. Her tongue pushed into his mouth, and it met no resistance. And yet he didn't respond. He didn't accept the kiss, but neither did he stiffen and try to push her away. He could only think of Rei, and her dark and frightening secret. Asuka's deep depression, and how he was unable to help her. And the base, his home, that was being torn apart around him. She slowly pulled away.

"That was an adult kiss." she said, her hand on his shoulder. "When you get back, we'll do the rest..."

He looked at her, momentarily frozen as she pulled the gate closed, sealing him into the elevator that would take him to his Eva.

_I'm useless..._

He sank to the floor and lowered his head, tears dripping down to his chin.

End Flashback

* * *

His cheeks were slightly tinged with red at that memory. He briefly wished he could convince her somehow of what was happening, so that maybe she would remember, and... He turned over on his side, embarrassed at where those thoughts led.

_I'm a damned pervert._

He had masturbated to Asuka's sleeping form. And now he had just wished he could convince his former guardian that in the heat of a final battle, she'd made a pledge to... what? To have sex with him?

_What kind of a person am I? Why am I like this?_

He hadn't been able to save Misato, back then. Hadn't been able to save anyone. Not even Asuka, the one he'd specifically been sent out to rescue.

Asuka...

* * *

Flashback

...Asuka's hand caressed his face, snapping him out of his emotional turmoil. He let his hands drop from her neck, tears in his eyes, realizing what he'd done, what he'd been about to do. His shoulders shook, and tears fell on her face as he bent over her supine form, overcome with grief. The shore that stretched out before them was lit a dull amber by the sea of humanity.

"You disgust me..." she whispered.

End Flashback

* * *

This section of the city was a picture of devastation from the recent battle between the third Angel and Unit-01. Buildings had holes punched into them, the street was gouged up, and large pieces of the ubiquitous shatter-proof armored glass were everywhere. The day was hot and humid, a gift of the permanent summer inflicted on the world after Second Impact, and even the shade offered little respite from the cloying heat. Misato sat in the hastily erected tent that served as a break area for the NERV personnel conducting cleanup after Unit-01 went berzerk. She fanned herself as she flipped through the different news channels on the small TV that had been set up on an empty packing crate.

"Huhh, public scenario B-22, just like we thought. So we're covering up the truth again?"

"Well, atleast the P.R. people are happy..." Ritsuko answered from the other side of the tent, taking off the helmet of her hazmat suit. "They've finally got something to do."

"We're being pretty casual about it."

"I don't think so. Actually I think we're all pretty scared."

"Why?" Misato asked. "You saw Shinji out there. He killed that Angel like he'd been doing it his whole life. How did he know to activate his prog-knife with no prior training? How did he know that the Angel's heart was its weakness? How did he even know where the heart was?"

Ritsuko raised her eyebrows. "Wow. Pretty scientific of you. Those are well thought-out questions."

Misato turned on her, "Hey, don't make fun of me! I'm not some bimbo! Just cause I can stay cheerful, when all you can do is mope...!"

Ritsuko almost cracked up, raising a hand to cover her mouth. "You make it so fun to tease you, though."

* * *

Shinji stood in the hallway outside his hospital room, his hand on the window as he stared blankly out over the landscape. He turned at the distant clank of a door, and watched as a nurse wheeled an ICU bed through the door. The bed slowly rolled down the hall in his direction, but he already knew who rested on it. Light blue hair. Red eyes. Eyes which locked with his own as the bed passed him. Recognition flared between them.

* * *

Flashback

Rei sat in her plug seat, confusion evident on her porcelain features as she looked at Shinji's tearful, happy face.

"I'm very sorry, I don't know what I should do or feel at a time like this."

Shinji looked up at her, too relieved to hold back his emotions.

"Why don't you just try smiling..."

A look of surprise crossed her face. She obviously had not expected that answer. Slowly the corners of her mouth came upward. The smile then became genuine, and spread to her eyes.

End Flashback

* * *

"Ayanami..." he whispered.

Memories came back to him. Fighting alongside her against the fifth Angel. Talking with her while riding on the train to HQ. She had been his friend. He had considered this a priceless opportunity earlier. Now he wasn't so sure. All the people with whom he had developed friendships no longer knew him. He lowered his head as she was wheeled into the distance. It was difficult for him to make friends, and he didn't know if he could go through it all again. Maybe it would be easier this time. Perhaps knowing more about the people around him would help. Or would the foreknowledge only make things worse?

He sighed, turning back to a less painful issue. The Angels. Who was the real enemy? He had fought against the Angels, who had always tried to kill him. The Angels were trying to kill everybody, not just him. By causing Third Impact. Yet, in the end, it was humanity that had initiated Third Impact. Would initiate Third Impact. If that was what his memories of the amber seas really meant.

* * *

Misato leaned back in the cab of the massive transport, blissfully unaware, as it drove along on autopilot. "Man, air conditioning's the greatest thing! Man's triumph over nature!"

Ritsuko set the phone receiver back down in its receptacle on the dashboard. "Shinji's finally woken up."

"...and... how is he?" Misato's voice carried an undisguised sense of worry.

"Well, his memory seems a bit muddled, but..."

Misato turned in alarm. "You don't think it could be contamination do you?"

"I don't think we should worry."

"Really?" She sat back again, "You're right. He did have a pretty hectic day."

"Poor little kid. His cerubellum must've taken a lot of stress."

Misato smirked, looking sideways at her companion. "Cerubellum... heh, don't you mean his heart?" Even with how little she knew of Shinji, it was obvious that he was very emotionally fragile. He seemed to take everything personally, and he always worried about what others would think about his words or actions. Maybe it was because she saw a little of herself in the boy, but she didn't like seeing him get hurt.

* * *

Rei closed her eyes as she was wheeled down the hallway past Shinji. She had been in her plug-suit one moment, being wheeled back to her hospital room after Shinji agreed to pilot, and then everything had gone black. After that, she had once again found herself back in the hospital bed, and not in her plug suit. She could only assume that events had reset again.

This time, Shinji apparently agreed to pilot the Eva earlier, because moments after the Commander woke her to pilot Unit-01, he called back, telling her it wasn't necessary. This seemed to indicate that Shinji Ikari was aware of the time-loop as well, but she could not afford to make assumptions.

* * *

Misato stood by the transport, watching as the massive rifle and consequently large ammunition was unloaded into one of the many weapon buildings scattered throughout Tokyo-3.

"If Eva and this city both operate at their full potential, we might make it through this."

"You're such an optimist." Ritsuko interjected, from where she sat in the cab.

"Hey. Sometimes ya need a little wishful thinking just to keep on living..."

"I see your point. It _is _nice to hear a positive attitude every once in a while. I'll see you later."

"...uh-kay. See ya."

* * *

Shinji sat in the NERV hospital's cavernous waiting room. The nurse had told him that they had contacted Misato, and that she was on her way. He was lost in thought, and didn't notice when she walked up. When he looked over, she had a strange expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Uhh, oh, nothing, I guess." She obviously had not expected him to speak. "You were so quiet, I... didn't want to disturb you. The battle must have been kind of traumatizing."

"Just... thinking," he said. Then he kind of smirked, "did it... _look _like the battle was traumatizing?"

She smiled, obviously relieved that he was mentally okay. "For the Angel, maybe. Come on, let's get your paperwork filled out."

He got up and followed her.

* * *

"He'll be living alone??" Neither Misato's surprised exclamation, nor the stunning view were enough to break Shinji from his thoughts. He and Misato were standing on a see-through panel more than a dozen meters to a side, the panorama of NERV headquarters spread out kilometers below them. They were discussing his living arrangements with another NERV employee.

"That's right," the man said. "His room will be on the sixth block beyond this one. Is that alright?"

"Yes sir." Shinji answered.

"Shinji... are you sure about that?" She asked, turning to face him.

In truth, he wasn't completely sure what he wanted. Misato was kind, but he had never been entirely comfortable around other people. Maybe things would be better if he lived alone. She had teased him mercilessly. And then there was Asuka. He... just didn't know. On the one hand, with more contact, maybe he would learn to get along better. Then again, with all the confusion, he really just wanted to be alone with his thoughts. That this conflicted with his need to be acknowledged didn't help his mental state. Nor did it help that he, alone, seemed to have memories of going through all of this before. He had not yet seen any evidence that anyone else kept their memories whenever he traveled back.

"Living alone is... fine with me. I'm alone anyway..."

* * *

"What did you say??" Ritsuko's voice was clearly audible through the phone Misato held, and it sounded as if she was about to bust a blood vessel.

"You heard me. I said I'll be taking Shinji home to live at my place, okay?" Shinji stood by, not quite sure what to do, and unwilling to go against Misato's wishes.

"It's already been approved. And don't worry... I won't be making any passes at him!" she said teasingly, immediately holding the phone further away from her ear, closing one eye and squinting at the increase in volume,

"...of COURSE you're not!!" Ritsuko's voice screeched. "How could you even think of such things?! You've got no shame at all!"

"Some people don't have any sense of humor..." Misato murmured. Ironic that the woman enjoyed teasing her, but didn't know how to deal with it herself. Ritsuko was still yammering indignantly as Misato set the receiver down in its cradle.

* * *

Night had fallen, but the city still looked incomplete. The main towers and skyscrapers of Tokyo-3 were still resting inside the Geofront, the damage to the city having been too great to immediately bring them back out after the battle. The car was silent as Misato drove away from NERVE HQ. As usual. Shinji glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye. Misato had usually (if she wasn't teasing him) respected his silence, and didn't try to engage in small talk. Or perhaps it was something more. Over his time living as her roommate, he had seen that her private life and public life were completely different. Sometimes he noticed that she wasn't her usual exuberant self. He had often thought that at times her cheerfulness seemed a little forced. He really didn't know that much about her, and he was surprised to find that he was curious. Despite that, he didn't know how to talk to her without making himself look... what?

_Why _am _I embarrassed to talk to her? Why am I embarrassed to talk to anybody?_

_I never know what to say. I'm... always afraid I'll say the wrong thing. I'm afraid of what people will think of me._

_But... I'm in a time loop. I can change things if I mess up._

He sighed inwardly.

_Yeah, and I'd have to kill myself to do it._

Well, actually, he did know one subject that he was curious about, and that would give him a chance to talk with her.

"Misato, I have... kind of a hypothetical question."

"Yeah? What's that?" she responded cheerfully.

"If... you found yourself repeating your life, what would you do?"

"Wow, that's an unusual question..." she paused. She had already tried to engage him in small talk earlier, and ran into the Stone Wall of Shinji Silence, combined with his usual blushes of embarrassment whenever she unwittingly said something that apparently had some secret meaning to him and him alone. She knew he was introverted and quiet, so the question surprised her. She hesitated to ask why he had brought it up, fearing that he'd turn embarrassed again and clam up. "There's... I suppose there's a few things I'd change." _I know one thing I'd change. Kaji. _She found herself getting angry and slightly embarrassed at the memories that brought up. _Ah, screw it. _"I guess the answer isn't that simple," she said with a smile. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, umm..." _damn it, I should've known that she'd think the question was weird. _He had no idea what to say.

Misato grimaced. _Oh well, I've shut him up after all. I wish I had a look inside his head to see how it ticks._

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," she tried to reassure him. "I mean, you have to admit, it's not a question you hear everyday."

"No, it's okay, you're right."

_It's probably for the best anyway. Talking with the Operations Director of NERV about a time loop will only guarantee two things. The looney bin, or a bunch of tests. I don't want either of those things._

She smiled at him, then turned her head back to the road. "Shinji, if you remember those words, you'll definitely have good luck with women."

_Hah. Not with Asuka,_ he thought.

As they drove on, he wished, not for the first time, that there was someone he could talk to about the time-loop. But what would he say? He had a hard enough time trying to figure out what was happening inside his own head.

"Well, I guess we have to have a party tonight, huh?" Misato said some time later, as they drove through a part of town he recognized.

"Uh? Oh, I... I guess so."

"Well, I have to give a proper welcome to my new roommate, right?"

They pulled up to a convenience store and, despite his fractured state of his mind, he recalled belatedly that in this case, a party just meant there were more flavors of instant food to choose from. As Misato went into the store, he tugged her sleeve.

"Yeah?" she said, turning back to him.

"Umm, I can cook, you know. But it's kind of hard to work with only instant. You think we could get some other stuff as well?"

"Wow! I had no idea!" Misato exclaimed. "A male cook, eh? Maybe you're quite the catch after all!"

He blushed slightly, then crossed his arms and retorted, "If you try anything, I'll just have to tell Ritsuko. She didn't sound too happy on the phone..."

He was pleased to see a few strands of hair at the top of her head stand up straight as a kind of horrified expression flashed across her face.

"Geez, you play hardball, don't you..." she muttered out of the side of her mouth. "Sure, we can do that. In fact," she pulled out several bills, "isn't there a food market right next door to this store? You can go there while I shop here." _I'm gonna have to be more careful around him. His wit is sharper than I thought. When he decides to use it, that is...  
_

"Oh. Okay."

* * *

He was atleast able to put some vegetables and spices into the different instant packages she cooked, so there was some substance to the meal. He also surreptitiously added more water when she wasn't looking, knowing her 'secret' to 'better tasting' instant food. He figured the extra spices and flavor would make up for it. He had no idea why she preferred the instant food to have a sludge-like consistency, but he assumed she was trying to make it more concentrated. The solution to that was to add more spices, not use less water.

With it all laid out on the table, she raised her arms in happiness, "Alright! Let's dig in!" He watched in consternation as she began shoveling it into her mouth, making her usual happy noises as she ate. He sighed.

_It's almost like my cooking is wasted on someone who eats like that._

Oh well, atleast she would be getting more nutrition his way. He would have to be satisfied with that. He ate in a more sedate manner.

"Wow, you really _do_ know how to make it taste good, don't you?" she said happily.

"You just have to put in the right spices. And a little real food mixed in doesn't hurt."

"Aww, it's so much easier my way though... It seems like I never have enough time," she temporized.

"Come on, Misato. Don't make excuses. I don't mind that you're lazy. I've already agreed to clean the place up, right?" The sheer level of garbage scattered about was surprising, even with his previous memories. It almost reminded him of... of Rei's apartment. Atleast she had kind of an excuse, living in such a poor section of town. "I'm not asking you to do it all yourself, just help a little."

She got a huffy expression, reaching over and pushing on the top of his head, "Hey, just what're you trying to say??"

"I'm not _trying_ to say anything. Face it, you're a lazy slob when you're at home," he said, squirming, trying to relieve the pressure on his head. "Hey! No need to get mad, you're quite professional on the job. That's good, right?"

"Hmph!" she sat back down onto her seat, crossing her arms and looking to the side. Well, he was right, she had to admit.

_At this rate, I'm going to be an old maid._

But how had he pegged her so cleanly? He had only seen her for a day at most. She decided to put it down to excellent observation skills.

* * *

With supper through and Misato having successfully foisted off most of the chores on him, Shinji lay on his bed listening to his SDAT.

"Atleast the ceiling is familiar..."

As he lay there thinking, he remembered the question he had asked himself the last time around after defeating the third Angel.

_Why am I here?_

He sighed. The question had a different meaning for him now.

_The Angel's energy lance slammed him back into the launch chamber. He could feel Unit-01 shutting down as he entered his mother's embrace. An indeterminate time later, he awoke, alone, on the beach._

alone...

no, hadn't there been someone else there?

_"...idiot Shinji!"_

"Asuka..."

How many times had he awoken on the beach? If the Angels defeated him, here he was... If he defeated the Angels, here he was.

"Maybe I really _am_ unnecessary..."

_What's my purpose? To endlessly face the Angels? Or is there even a purpose..._

_Is any of this even real?_

He was reminded of how he had imagined and created worlds during Instrumentality.

_Could... this be one of those?_

No, he remembered the dead feeling of those creations. This was real.

_Then... what's happening? How is this even possible?_

After several minutes of frustration, he turned over on his side. He was unable to find any satisfactory answers, but atleast he could, hopefully, find sleep. As he rested, waiting for his mind to settle down, he couldn't help but think that something was missing.

* * *

Flashback

"Shinji... can I come in?" He tensed as he heard the door to his room slide open, then relaxed moments later when he realized it was Misato. "I forgot to tell you something. You did something very good, and very noble today. You should... be proud. Good night, Shinji. ...Hang in there."

End Flashback

* * *

Misato had not given him that encouragement this time. Perhaps it was because he had defeated the Angel without problems. After all, he had shown potential above and beyond what he'd shown the previous time through. Or maybe it was because he had been slightly more open in conversation with her. He kind of missed the small gesture, and the comfort it brought. As the rhythmic sound of Cicadas filled the night air, he again felt a wave of loneliness sweep over him.


	3. Chapter 3: No longer alone

Chapter 3

The entry plug was illuminated with the normal rainbow of colors that he associated with connecting mentally with Eva. As Shinji completed the routine he had so often gone through before, his thoughts drifted. He had quickly fallen into the familiar routine of school during the day, and his work at NERV HQ with Evangelion in the evenings. It was comforting to be doing something he knew, and not facing the unknown. The unknown was usually synonymous with pain. Ritsuko's businesslike voice came through the speakers.

"Good morning Shinji. How's it going?"

Sometimes, as was the case today, his sessions with Eva were scheduled during the day, and so he would be forced to skip school. _Well, not so much 'forced,'_ he thought with some humor. _I've already been through all the material before, so it's not hard to make up._

"No problems. Everything seems to be normal..." he answered.

"That's good. Have you memorized the positions of all the Eva emergence locations, emergency power jacks, armament equipment buildings and recovery zones?"

"...Yes ma'am." That was another thing that he could scratch off his list of things that added to his burdened mind. He had already long since memorized all the pertinent information.

"Good. Now, let's continue from where we left off yesterday. Initiate induction mode..."

The weapons training continued.

* * *

Shinji awoke, going through his usual morning routine. Over the past couple of weeks, he had basically settled down. Perhaps all his mind had needed was some relative peace to put all the memories back into their proper order. Remembering that Misato had just gotten in after night-shift, Shinji quietly slipped out of the apartment, taking the burnable trash with him down to the proper area before making his way to school.

As he walked, he looked around at the students walking along in groups.

_They have no idea._

They were trapped. Going through the same actions they had already been through atleast once before.

He alone had memories of a previous life.

_And it _is_ a previous life,_ he decided._ Things have already changed. Small things. I changed them._

The thought gave him a small feeling of... what? He wasn't sure. He alone was part of something... unique.

Alone.

_Am I alone?_

Perhaps somewhere out there, someone else was having the exact same thoughts. The two of them, he and this imaginary person, would continue through life, never meeting. Never knowing for sure if there was someone else that understood. It filled him with a kind of sadness.

_I'd just embarrass myself, if I tried to talk to anyone._

_Or I'd slip, and accidentally say something... that I couldn't have known._

His previous knowledge was a two-edged sword.

_I've got to be careful..._

* * *

Rei drifted awake. Her pain was much lessened now. She could feel herself healing, knew her progress, and knew when she would be fully recovered.

Today, she would go back to school.

She was recovered enough for that.

She sat up slowly, her eyes running over the cluttered apartment, but not seeing the mess.

The covers fell off of her, revealing her unclothed form. She of course made no move to cover herself. Why should she? She was here alone.

She lowered her feet to the floor, heedless of the blanket falling half-way off the bed. Methodically, she dressed herself, moving slower than usual, still hampered somewhat by her injuries.

Walking over to the small refrigerator, she opened it. Inside were stacked instant breakfast packets, and tv-dinners. There was no variety. One stack of the same kind of breakfast packet, and another stack of the same kind of tv-dinner. Lunch was whatever the school served, unless it was the weekend.

The long weekend.

Break from the usual routine.

Either at NERV, fulfilling her purpose, or at home lying in bed, thinking.

Or training.

The personal training regime she normally put herself through was grueling.

She paused, an instant breakfast packet in one hand, the other resting on the closed refrigerator door.

Purpose.

What was that, now?

She had chosen Shinji Ikari over the Commander. Had given him control of Instrumentality.

Would she do so again?

_Images. Shinji's smiling, tearful face at the door of the entry plug._

_Shinji sitting beside her on the train, engaging her in conversation._

_The sixteenth Angel burrowing into her body, invading her thoughts._

"_Is this what I wish? To become one with Shinji Ikari?"_

_She had asked herself that question. Or the Angel had asked it._

The memories stirred a feeling within her that she did not understand.

_I would do it again,_ she decided.

She looked down at the food in her hand. Slowly she continued her morning routine.

* * *

Walking into the classroom, Shinji walked over and sat down in his usual seat. He furtively looked around, and noticed that Ayanami was back, albeit with her arm in a sling and a few bandages here and there.

Rei sat at her desk by the window, gazing out blankly into the distance. To an average observer, the scene outside the window was always the same.

Of course that wasn't true, in reality.

The differences were subtle, but they were there. Every time she looked out the window, it was different.

The complex fractals of nature, how things moved.

In harmony.

In dissonance.

The ever-changing world that she existed to protect.

The people. People to whom she was bonded. Now more than ever.

She had always known of Instrumentality in a theoretical sense, but now she had been through it.

Yet not according to the Commander's scenario.

Instrumentality now tightly bound her to all the people of the world. And to Shinji Ikari.

She turned her head to look at him. He sat, over to her right, and slightly ahead of her. He was engrossed in his classwork. Oblivious.

He had done this all before, just as she. Did he remember? Did anyone?

Except for the slight change in the time-line, all evidence seemed to show that she was the only one with such memories.

Shinji felt a tickle on the back of his neck, and he looked around. There were the usual clusters of friends talking. ... and Ayanami was looking at him. He quickly turned away, appearing to study his notes. He had never noticed her looking at him before. In fact, he had never known her to look at anyone during class. She had always avoided others. He had developed a kind of friendship with her near the end before... Third Impact. But what would make her look at him this early? He didn't remember doing anything out of the ordinary. The two times he had run into her, he had behaved much the same as he had originally.

Rei watched in surprise. The boy had looked at her, and there had been something in his look.

Recognition?

He had seen her twice before, now.

Once before piloting Eva, and once when she had been wheeled past him in the hospital.

She stood, coming to a decision. She walked over to his desk.

"Pilot Ikari."

He stopped breathing. He turned slowly, and saw that she was standing next to his desk. His mind buzzed with possibilities, almost in shock. Had he done something to draw attention to himself? Perhaps some small thing that he'd failed to notice, or... He realized he had been staring for several long seconds, and let out his breath in a gasp. Her eyes slightly widened. A suddenly familiar conversation tore his attention away from her.

"...that robot's pilot was so dumb. It makes me so angry! How could he wreck our own city!? What did that stupid _idiot_ think he was doing??"

Shinji went numb, forgetting Rei, forgetting everything. He had...

_"Aaaaaaahhh!!" He grabbed his head, trying to control the shards of memories coalescing in his mind. The Eva grasped its head, mimicking Shinji's motions, its back arched._

Eva had still gone berserk. The next thing he knew, he had woken up in the hospital. He felt a physical pain in his heart; Touji's sister had again been injured because of him.

"...he transferred in after the giant robot incident. Don't you think that's a little bit of an odd coincidence?" Kensuke was saying.

The door to the classroom slid open, the teacher standing there surveying what was left of his class. When Shinji turned around, Rei was back in her seat, looking out the window. His mind raced as the teacher walked in and class started.

Things were different. She was acting different. Could she maybe have heard something from someone else that changed things this time? Perhaps his actions had affected others, and those had in turn led back to her. He glanced back to where she was sitting. She was staring at him, and again their eyes locked. He turned his attention back to his desk, heart hammering.

Rei watched his strange behavior.

Class had started, interrupting her before she could make any kind of inquiry.

His look of shock could mean anything. She knew well how introspective he was.

She would seek him out later, to confirm or deny her hypothesis.

She turned her attention back to the window, and the fascinating patterns of nature.

School was even less of an issue. She knew all of the material by heart, now.

* * *

"All rise! Bow!"

Shinji slowly got up, his lunch in his hand. He walked out of the door of the classroom, his eyes unseeing. His feet took him along the familiar path out of the school building, towards inevitable confrontation.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned, a sad and resigned expression in his eyes as he waited for the blow. Touji's face was contorted with rage, and his fist impacted on Shinji's jaw, filling his head with stars as he fell to the ground, his lunch flying from his hands, the sack hitting the ground and spilling its contents.

Touji stood over him, shaking with anger, his fists clinched, his arms held out, hoping the boy would get up and invite another blow. He finally turned away with a snarl. "Sorry newcomer, but I had to hit you." Touji said, rubbing his knuckles. "You don't even know what you did. And that's part of the problem."

"He's mean, huh?" Kensuke said, bending down to where Shinji lay. "His little sister was injured the last time you and your robot fought a battle. Well, that's his excuse, anyway..." he said, standing and walking away. Kensuke felt kind of bad for the boy, and so he had explained. It never felt good to be the brunt of an attack and not even know why. He himself had been so, in the past, before he had become friends with Touji.

Shinji stood, his head lowered,  
"I know... it can't help things now, but, I'm sorry I lost control of Eva and hurt your sister."

Touji turned, pushed Kensuke aside, grabbing Shinji's collar again and cocking back his arm. He paused, and seemed to be struggling with himself.

His surprise that the boy had gotten up and spoken had caused him to automatically assume he was going to counter-attack. And so he had prepared for a fight that he knew he would enjoy. But the boy in front of him was suffering. He could see it in his eyes. They mirrored his own.

_He... understands, somehow. But how could he??_

Touji almost hit him, then. But he realized that he himself knew nothing about this boy.

_For all I know he's got a sister too. Maybe he even watched something happen to her. Or maybe he's suffered some other kind of loss._

Finally, his eyes glazed over, and he dropped his arm. Anger and sorrow mixed in him, and he wished he knew how to apologize. But he couldn't get the words out. He finally turned, and left, Kensuke beside him.

Shinji stood lost in thought. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Rei. His heart almost stopped again, and then he remembered.

"Oh, the... Angel," he spoke without thinking. "There's... an attack, right?" He saw her eyes widen slightly. Time seemed to slow down for a few long moments.

_Why did I say that? Now I've done it. There's no way I could know about the Angel attack. What will she think?_

She paused, then nodded slightly, "Yes. ...Let's report in."

They jogged off towards NERV HQ.

She found herself wondering at his words.

How could he have known?

At this point he knew she was a pilot, having seen her before the fight with the third Angel.

Perhaps he had used that knowledge in his assumption.

Yet he had not made such an assumption in the original time-line.

She remembered her previous abortive attempt at questioning him in the classroom.

"Pilot Ikari," she said, as they jogged.

He turned to face her, surprise and terror on his face. He opened his mouth a couple of times, finally speaking. "...y-yeah?"

"Do you have memories of doing all of this before?"

He almost stumbled, his breath coming in gasps, both from the jogging, and from the electrifying sensation that shot through him when he heard that question.

She knew. Which meant she too was living life over again. A palpable weight lifted from his shoulders. He was no longer alone. And it was Rei who was with him in this. It was almost too much for his overburdened mind to take.

"Pilot Ikari..."

"Yes," he answered. Seeing her questioning gaze, he continued. "Yes... I do."

They continued jogging in silence. It was difficult to talk while running, but neither of them would have spoken even had they not been running.

Each was lost in their thoughts.

* * *

Shinji stopped Rei at the locker room entrance, putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned around to look at him, and he pulled the hand away, as if he hadn't realized he had put it there. He paused, then remembered that he had stopped her for a reason. "I... um..." He finally pressed through his embarrassment. "Ayanami, you still have injuries... and it would hurt for you to change. You know I can beat this Angel."

She looked at him. "It's procedure to have a backup ready."

Why would a little pain keep her from following procedure?

"If I die, everything will restart. That's what happened last time."

Or, atleast it was what he remembered happening. Had he really died at the hands of the third Angel? It had almost felt like he had simply been... taken away. He felt a slight amusement at not remembering if he had died.

_You'd assume that something like that would be memorable._

"What if you are disabled, but not killed?" she asked.

His eyes widened. "I... hadn't thought of that," he admitted. Of course she would have begun considering the ramifications of all of this. He remembered how methodical she was from their previous friendship.

She turned to go change.

He watched her go, wondering at her willingness to undergo pain, and at how distant she was. His father had done this to her. Had trained her, specifically for... what? She had been created. She was a clone, he knew that. Ritsuko had destroyed the Rei clones, and he had watched. She must have led a hard life, under his father. Why did the man treat her this way?

She paused, turning around. "The Angel is attacking, Pilot Ikari."

"Oh, right." Jarred from his thoughts, turned and entered the locker room to change into his plug suit.

* * *

Central Dogma was alive with status reports.

"Our cameras have sighted the target. It's penetrated our territorial waters!"

"Assume battle stations! Level one!" Fuyutski commanded. He was slightly ill at ease. The Scrolls had predicted the Angels, and had even given details about what to expect. But it was still unsettling to be fighting another one so soon after the last one. The time period between the last two attacks had been fifteen years.

"Roger!" Misato answered. "Prepare for anti-aircraft interception!" Her professional voice rang out. She was confident in Shinji's abilities. He had dealt with the previous Angel without any problems.

_Except for going berserk._

She shuddered, remembering the carnage the Eva had wreaked upon the city after the pilot connections had started to uncouple. It had been almost as bad as an Angel attack.

"Tokyo-3 transforming to battle formation."

"Initiate accommodation of the central block." Across the city the main alarm klaxxon could be heard, and the skyscrapers began to lower into the ground.

"Accomodation of the central block in the first through seventh districts has been completed!"

"Notification of the government and other related ministries, completed."

"Present rate of effective anti-aircraft interception: forty-eight percent."

"The fourth angel would show up when Commander Ikari is away..." Misato grumbled. "It's a lot sooner than we expected."

Ground-based missile launchers and AA guns shrouded the floating angel in explosions, but caused no appreciable effect.

"...that's a waste of the taxpayers' money..." Fuyutski said, smiling slightly.

"The committee is demanding that we dispatch an Evangelion again," a technician reported.

"...they're more obnoxious than the aliens!" Misato griped, her arms folded. "I'd have mobilized even if they hadn't asked!"

* * *

Shinji put aside his thoughts about Rei as the crane lift his plug seat up towards Unit-01's entry plug. It settled into place, and the crane arm lifted away as the hatch slid shut. The Eva's internal mechanism accepted the entry plug, twisting it into place.

"Entry procedure initiated." He heard the status reports, his eyes were closed, the LCL rippling around him as the electrical current transformed it from slightly yellow to almost invisible.

"LCL oxygenated, releasing air lock." He opened his eyes, his mouth a hard line. His mental state was far different from when he had faced this Angel the last time.

_But am I really ready?_

Fear tugged at the edges of his mind, along with another memory.

_Touji and Kensuke..._

With a start, he realized that the two of them would be on the little hillock overlooking the battle site.

_I can't let myself forget them in the heat of the battle,_ he reminded himself as the Eva came to a stop below the launch tunnel.

"Launch Eva!"

At Misato's command, he felt the g-forces of launch pull at him.

* * *

"Cool! All my efforts really paid off..." Kensuke drooled behind the camera as Touji looked on in stunned horror.

_How could I let him talk me into this??_

The angel seemed to stand up, appendages to either side releasing what looked to be whips made of pure energy.

"I've been waiting for this moment all my life!" Kensuke exclaimed in happiness. Locking bolts on a nearby armored building retracted, and an entire side of the building slid into the ground revealing the purple form of Unit-01.

_Shinji's in that thing. He's protecting all of us. Even though I decked him._

The anger at his sister's injuries mixed with the shame at what he'd done. It tore at him that he was still unsure if he could face the boy without wanting to hit him again.

_Isn't there... something he could have done? Was it his fault, or wasn't it?_

_Damn it. Keiko, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I wish it had been me who was injured._

Tears gathered in his eyes, and it was fortunate that Kensuke was so entranced in the battle. Touji pushed down his feelings.

* * *

Shinji straightened the Eva back up, interfacing with the rifle he had just removed from the weapons building. He checked the clip display on the gun schematic, and ensured himself that the gun held high-explosive, as opposed to smoke rounds.

"Okay Shinji, the Angel is two streets over, and five blocks down. Check your map overlay." Misato's professional voice came through the plug speakers. He brought up the map, and oriented himself, watching the dot as it slowly traveled down a street. He moved up next to a building alongside the Angel's projected path.

"AT field unfolded." Shinji heard Lieutenant Maya Ibuki's report as he felt the comforting embrace of the field encircle him, almost like a mother's arms. It was part of the suffering he went through. The embrace only reminded him of what he had lost, so long ago. Sadness welled up in him as he prepared to face the Angel.

_This is why it hurts to pilot. And no one understands._

_They'd all laugh at me if I told them._

"Ok Shinji, do this just like we practiced!" Misato ordered.

"Right..." He rechecked the clip schematic one last time out of nervous habit. If he could disable the Angel here, Touji and Kensuke would be okay. He stepped around the building and pulled the trigger on his pistol grip. As he felt the rifle recoil in Eva's hands, explosions peppered the Angel's midsection, staggering it slightly.

"No appreciable damage. Damn! It's AT field must be too strong..." Ritsuko yelled in the background. Shinji's mind raced. If the current ammunition wasn't going to disable the Angel, he'd have to go hand to hand, which would likely result in mass devastation if the Angel self-destructed. He quickly scanned the area for the small hill he knew they were using as a lookout.

"C'mon, I know you were around here somewhere... got you!" The comm buzzed with reports, Ritsuko's voice cutting through them,

"Shinji, what are you doing? We'll have to try another tactic fast..." The bios for Kensuke and Touji came up on the screen as he interfaced with the MAGI and sent the computer the scan results of the the two boys.

"What?? Those are Shinji's classmates!" Misato cut in.

"What are they doing there?" Ritsuko asked as the Angel's whips flashed out, bisecting the building Shinji had been standing in front of.

"Gah!" He dropped to the ground just before the whips sliced through the building. From his crouched position he pushed off and broke into a run towards the two boys' position, the Angel slowly pursuing him, wreaking devastation in its wake as it tried to cut the Eva into pieces.

* * *

Touji and Kensuke stood open mouthed, frozen by the sight of the Eva that had landed on the hillock where they were standing. It bent down and partially ejected its entry plug.

"Come on, get in!" Shinji yelled.

They stood frozen for a few seconds more before heeding Shinji's advice. The boys had finally started to move when Ritsuko's voice cut through the comm channel,

"What? No Shinji, unauthorized civilians should not be allowed into the entry plug..."

"I'll authorize it!" Shinji heard Misato's voice.

"You're exceeding your authority, Captain!" Ritsuko was furious. Eva's security had to be kept at all costs.

_Doesn't she know she's putting their lives at risk? When the Commander finds out..._

She grimaced. The boys' lives were already at risk. They were caught in the middle of the battle.

_What are they even doing out there?_

"Unit-01 has gone to backup power!" Shigeru suddenly reported.

* * *

As the plug retracted back into the Eva, Shinji noticed that his power cable must have gotten cut in the mad dash to the hill. The red numbers now showed that he had four minutes and thirty-eight seconds of power left. As the LCL rose once again, Kensuke let out a surprised yelp.

"Oh, don't worry," Shinji reassured them. "You can breathe it just like air."

"No, it's not that," Kensuke moaned, looking at his now-dead camera.

"Oh." Shinji hid his grin when he realized why they boy was sad. He turned around to face the Angel, hearing Touji gag behind him, apparently having taken his first breath.

"Geez, what is this stuff, man??"

Touji and Kensuke were thrown slightly off balance as Eva turned to face the approaching Angel. It flicked both whips out. Eva caught one in its hand, which started to sizzle, and the other one penetrated the chest armor.

"Yaaaahh!!" his yell was mixed pain and anger as with his other hand, he drew his prog-knife. Wrenching the Angel towards him with the captured whip, he slammed the prog-knife into the Angel's exposed heart.

Touji looked on in stunned horror at what Shinji was forced to endure.

_Is it like this every time he fights?_

This was totally beyond his experience. He still felt anger for what had happened to his sister, but he found that he could no longer direct it at this boy. Shame once again rose within him at what he had previously done to him. And now he had saved their lives. Touji knew this was going to tear at him for a long time, but he just didn't know how to apologize without looking weak.

* * *

Ritsuko looked at the monitor in slight amazement, "Shinji's synchro rate is slightly lower, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be..."

Misato made a decision. "Eva, fall back and we'll try again!..." No sense in fighting the enemy under anything less than the best circumstances. She was in the middle of giving the order when the Angel suddenly stopped moving, its energy whips falling limp.

"Eva used it's prog-knife..." a technician gave the unnecessary report. "The Angel has ceased all activity!"

Amidst the jubilation, Ritsuko put a hand on Misato's shoulder.

"How did Shinji know those two were out there? They were way outside immediate scan range..."

* * *

Shinji grunted in pain as he pulled out the whip that had gone through Eva's midsection. He reached down and picked up the floppy Angel by its midsection, but he was still forced to basically drag it as he walked. Shifting it to a more comfortable position, he set off back into the city.

The entry plug was silent as he stopped at a power building, getting another umbilical and plugging it into his Eva. The red numbers stopped at thirty two seconds and then switched off, now that he was again on external power. He looked back at the other two occupants. "You two okay back there?"

"Y-yeah." Touji looked down, not knowing what else to say.

Shinji wondered for a moment what was causing him to behave differently, then remembered their encounter. Sorrow once again filled him.

"Touji, I'm... an only child. I can't begin to understand what you're going through."

Touji was silent for a few moments, wondering what to do.

_Hell, we're alone. And Kensuke's camera's broke._

He was slightly ashamed of those thoughts. He should apologize anyway, even if it was in front of everybody. He chuckled once.

"Well, I guess we're in the same situation. I can't begin to understand what you go through every time you pilot this... thing."

Shinji reached over, offering his hand. "Let's just put it all behind us and be friends, okay?"

Stunned, Touji slowly reached forward and grasped his hand. "Okay."

The Eva continued onwards. Shinji had surprised himself with his openness. Maybe it was because he knew them from the last time through. Whatever the reason, he was happy to once again have friends.


	4. Chapter 4: New Feelings

Chapter 4

Rei sat against the fence by the pool, her arms around her legs, facing her fellow classmates playing in and around the pool, but not seeing them. Her self-imposed isolation had been conditioned into her just as surely as she had been cloned specifically for the Eva project. However, in the face of the unforeseeable events she found herself in, that conditioning had begun to crack.

_...as her body entered Lilith's, their consciousness merged..._

Memories continued to assault her. She closed her eyes.

* * *

_Memory_

"Begin activation." the voice of Ikari Gendo rang through the control room.

"Connecting main power to all circuits..."

"Power supply connected. Beginning system activation." Gendo watched through the viewport as Unit-00's single green eye slowly lit up.

"Activation voltage approaching critical level! Zero point five, zero point two, rising..."

"Initiate activation system, phase two."

_"Pilot link-up initiated,"_ intoned the loudspeakers.

Gendo stood, letting the reports go on, staring fixatedly at the Eva.

"...counting down to absolute borderline... zero point nine, zero point seven, zero point five, zero point four, zero point three..." Suddenly the linkages showing on the monitor reversed themselves and Unit-00 began straining against its bindings.

Inside the Eva, Rei's eyes were shut, her small face pinched in pain.

_Anger._

_Betrayal._

"...the pulses are flowing backward!"

"Something's going wrong in the third stage!"

"Rejection occurring in the nerve center elements!" The Eva grabbed its head in pain as it tore the bindings from the wall, trailing wires and linkages.

"Unit 00 is out of control!"

"Abort the experiment! Cut off the power supply!" Gendo commanded.

"Yes sir!" Suddenly the Eva leaned over, blowing the entry pod out of its back.

"Auto ejection system has been activated!"

"Damn it!!" Gendo was gone from the room in an instant. Ritsuko watched in horror as the entry plug slid along the ceiling with a shower of sparks, slamming into a corner where the escape jets exhausted themselves. As the plug clattered onto the floor, she saw the small figure of Gendo running towards it.

As Rei's consciousness faded, the hatch opened and the commander's face swam into view.

"Rei! Are you alright?? Rei..." She slid back down into the seat, the Commander leaning over her in concern. In her mind, his face morphed into someone else's.

_"Shinji..."_

* * *

Rei opened her eyes.

Whenever events restarted, she found herself in the same hospital bed, recovering from her abortive activation experiment with Unit-00. And yet, she also had memories of going through the activation experiment more than once.

Had events been repeating themselves even before she had given Shinji control of Instrumentality?

She turned her head and looked down at the boy's pool, to where Shinji sat. What was causing events to repeat themselves? She saw no way to find answers to these and many other questions without getting close to him.

Closeness.

She had been taught that closeness would interfere with her mission. And so she had stayed aloof. From everybody.

It was what the Commander had ordered.

It was necessary for her part in Third Impact.

_Flashback_

"_It appears to have begun." Gendo's voice was steady, even as the entire Geofront shook around them._

_Rei stood looking at the Commander, his hand inside her body, resting over the seat of her soul._

_He did not care for her beyond her usefulness to him in his Scenario._

_Shinji cared for her... without reason._

_The Commander wished to wipe out everything, so that he could be reunited with his dead wife._

_Shinji always thought of others first._

_Gendo was in pain._

_Shinji was in pain._

"_You're his doll! You'd kill yourself for him!"_

_Asuka's angry words floated through her mind._

_As Gendo continued speaking, she made a decision._

"_Now, Rei, It's time to reunite me with Yui once more..." his eyes widened as he lost feeling in the hand he had inside her. "...what??" he gasped in shock and pain._

"_I will not be a puppet for you to control." Rei's voice was soft as she opened her eyes and looked at him steadily. The stump of his hand came out of her body, but it did not bleed. As she assimilated Adam into her being, her missing arm regenerated itself._

"_Rei! Why?!" he gasped the words out, trying to shut out the pain both from his missing hand, and from the emptiness in his heart._

"_Because I am not like you."_

_She wished she could be more like Shinji. She wished to care. But she did not know how._

_All she knew was what the Commander had taught her, and the conditioning he had given her._

_Having no other way to express herself, she would give Shinji control of Instrumentality. He would know what to do._

"_Rei! Please!" Gendo's voice was full of desperation and pleading. He did not hate her for betraying him. Contrary to the stern and cold demeanor he had built for himself, inside he was hurting. The open wound left by Yui's disappearance had never healed. He had simply covered it over, hiding it deep within himself. Others only saw the cold, disciplined mask he had constructed for himself. As he saw her turn away from him and rise into the air towards Lilith, he knew only pain. "I beg you...!" his voice quavered. "Wait...! _Please _Rei!"_

"_I can't. Ikari is calling me."_

_There was a kind of pain in her voice as well._

_She was torn between the pain of the two, father and son._

_So alike, and yet their response to the pain they felt was so different._

_She was satisfied with her decision, but was unsatisfied with the consequences._

_If only she had more time._

_Time to study what it meant to be human._

_What it meant to feel._

_What it meant to care._

_But there was no more time. She could only respond to Shinji's call._

"_REI!!" Gendo's agonized scream again tore at her._

_As she floated before Lilith's massive form, crucified in Terminal Dogma, she unconsciously echoed Shinji's words, when he had first stepped over the threshold into Misato's apartment. "I'm home."_

_End Flashback_

Down below at the boy's pool, Shinji turned his head to look at her, and she felt a kind of resonance, as if a drop of water had fallen onto the calm and unmoving water of her soul, ripples spreading outwards from the impact. Her cheeks turned slightly pink, and she returned her gaze to the girl's pool. After Shinji's battle against the fourth Angel, she had changed and returned home. The next two days were the weekend, which she had spent either lying on her bed, at working at NERV, or training. Despite her wish and need to get close to him, she found she could not.

What would she say?

The only experience she had talking with people was her previous friendship with Shinji.

This should have made it easier for her to approach him, but it did not.

_Shinji knows about feelings._

_He cares for others._

_He is also in this phenomenon of time._

_I need to get close to him, to understand his feelings._

_To ask him why he cares._

_To understand his role in this time-loop._

_Why can I not approach him?_

The Commander's conditioning.

_No. It's not that._

Why not?

_Because... I have already put aside the Commander's life by giving Shinji control of Instrumentality._

Could not his conditioning still exist?

_Yes. Undoubtedly it does._

_I cannot simply will it away._

_And yet the conditioning is not the force behind my reluctance to approach Shinji._

_I need to get close to him._

_I need._

_What if I make a mistake?_

_What if he rejects me, as I rejected the Commander?_

_Fear._

_That is what this feeling is._

_My fear is the force behind what remains of the Commander's conditioning, and it keeps me from approaching Shinji._

_By rejecting someone else, I now understand rejection. And I now fear it._

_I... cannot risk rejection._

_Rejection would mean death._

_My existence rests on Shinji's perception of me._

It was a horrifying realization. The paradoxical situation meant she could not approach him again. And yet she had to.

* * *

Despite that initial meeting, the past week had gotten worse and worse for Shinji. Rei had not approached him again, and he could not work up the nerve to approach her. She was more distant than ever, and he didn't know what to do. Shinji looked up at Ayanami's figure, leaning against the fence surrounding the girl's pool. He was going to have to somehow overcome her aloofness. _Why? _a corner of his brain asked.

_Because... she's the only other one I've found that remembers things like I do._

He decided to accept that safe answer.

_'How' would be a better question._

As to that, he had no idea.

"Hey. Bigshot." Touji was facing him, watching him. "What're _you _staring at so intently?"

"Oh, uh, nothing!" As he spoke the automatic denial, he felt a kind of heaviness in his heart. Was he denying his feelings for Rei? He blushed slightly at the thought that he might have feelings for her. They had been friends before Third Impact, but that was as far as it had gone. He had been unable to accept anything else at the time.

"He's ogling Rei!" Kensuke said with a playful smirk, pushing Touji down slightly so he could face the boy he was unknowingly tormenting.

Shinji was silent for a few moments, looking back up to where she sat.

"Look, he's still doing it!" Kensuke crowed.

"You have to admit, she's pretty well-endowed," Touji needled him.

Shinji finally spoke. "It's just that she's... so alone."

_Like me. We two seem to be the only ones who know what's happening._

"Well, you're just the guy to remedy that," said Touji. "You're both Eva pilots, right? You've got something in common."

_More than you know, _thought Shinji.

* * *

That night Ritsuko visited Misato's apartment to have dinner with her friend. It was something she almost came to regret when she saw the food.

"What _is_ this stuff??" Ritsuko's horrified voice echoed.

"It's curry!" Misato answered cheerfully as Shinji held the pot of an ominously bubbling substance and began serving them.

"You mean you're still eating this instant junk?"

"Look, you're a guest, so you've got no right to complain."

Shinji looked at Misato,

"Misato, don't you want any?"

"Oh, sorry about that. Tada!" She said, taking a plate off the top of a cup of instant Ramen and chuckling at Ritsuko's look of disgust. "Slop some of that stuff on top of this stuff!" Shinji obeyed hesitantly.

"Ordinary curry-flavored instant ramen can't be this good. Yeah! C'mon, let's eat. Dig in, guys! The secret is to put less hot water in the soup so it borders a sludge..." Misato explained around a huge mouthful of the stuff. The other two slowly picked up their spoons and took a bite. Despite past experience, Shinji couldn't help but mirror Ritsuko's grimace as she swallowed.

"Misato cooked... right? Ritsuko managed to say despite a constricted throat.

"You can tell?" Misato mumbled happily, her mouth full.

"Of course!..." Ritsuko croaked.

_"...who else could make instant soup taste so awful..."_

"Next time you invite me over, make sure it's Shinji's turn to cook..." She begged plaintively.

* * *

"Y'know Shinji, you really oughta consider moving out." Ritsuko said matter-of-factly, pushing away the remains of her stagnating dinner. "You shouldn't let one bad roommate ruin your entire life, y'know."

"But I'm used to it, now..." Shinji said ruefully.

"He's right, Ritsuko." stated Misato, gesturing in her direction with the almost empty can of beer she was holding. "Never underestimate the ability of the human animal to adapt to its environment, right?" she lounged on her chair, shaking the mostly empty can. "...anyway, if he does move..." burping quietly, she set the can down. "Shinji, can I have another?" She asked sweetly.

"Right!"

"...he's gonna have to go through an awful lot of trouble and red tape. He just got his permanent security card y'know..."

"Oh! I almost forgot again..." Ritsuko set down her own can and leaned over to grab her purse. "Shinji, I need a favor." She withdrew a plastic card and handed it to Shinji as he handed Misato her beer. "It's Rei's new security card. I keep forgetting to give this to her. Would you mind delivering this to her before you go into headquarters?"

"Uh, sure..." He'd almost forgotten about this. He was both looking forward to it and dreading it. He blushed slightly, remembering what had happened the last time.

Misato looked at him with one eye as she drank, and a predatory smile appeared on her face, "What's the matter? You're staring at Rei's picture aren't you?"

"AH!... uh, well, actually..." he refused to verbally deny his feelings any more. Even if he was still sorting them out, it just felt wrong on the inside to continue his automatic denials.

She covered her smile with her hand, "Eheheheh, oh wow, he didn't deny it!" She sighed in amusement, lowering her chin onto her hand. "Now you've got an excuse to go over to Rei's place, don't you...?" Shinji sat with a groan of embarrassment, attempting to cover his wounded pride with a disdainful look.

"Stop teasing me!..." even if she was right.

"Ehehehe, but I love teasing you, you usually go so ballistic!"

"Just like Misato..." Ritsuko said, having pity on Shinji.

"...uwaah?.." Misato turned on Ritsuko with an indignant snort.

* * *

The long line of mass-produced hi-rise apartment buildings were as bleak and desolate as Shinji remembered. He stood in a dirty hallway, staring at the door. 402. He pressed the buzzer a couple of times, knowing there would probably be no response, then turned the knob and entered. "...um..." he paused, slipping off his shoes and raising his voice, "Ayanami... it's me. Shinji Ikari..." He still did not really expect a response, but he felt it was only polite to let her know he was here. Tiptoeing through the short hall that held the washer and drier, he entered her room.

_Just like always..._

The broken light fixture overhead accentuated the barely-contained clutter. He looked around at her underwear hanging from a clothes-hanger attached to the ceiling, the miniature refrigerator, the unmade bed,

_...his father's glasses were missing from her makeshift bedside table..._

Rei had heard Shinji's voice, and her fear returned in full force. She gasped at the emotion, unused to such strong feelings. It was only her discipline and methodical routine that kept her moving. She walked out, her towel draped around her neck, wearing nothing else. All her clothes were in the room in which he was standing. She faced him, and froze.

He looked over at her, and jumped, panic in his eyes "Aaah!! Um... Ayanami. I... um, I mean, I wondered if we could talk..." As he stuttered, he finally semed to realize her physical condition and his face became beet red. "Aaah!" He quickly turned his back on her, ashamed at his thoughts and reaction.

Seeing his panic stirred another emotion within her. It rose like a bubble from inside of her, causing her mouth to quiver, and she chuckled. She raised a hand to cover her mouth.

_What was that?_ she wondered.

Shinji turned at the noise, his eyes wide.

_Did she just laugh?_

She was still naked, and he turned back around quickly, hiding his embarrassment. "Umm, ah..."

"I would like to talk as well," she said quietly.

_He wants to talk to me._

_Talking increases the chance of possible rejection._

_And yet to refuse, would be to reject _him_._

She pulled on her school uniform.

"...er. I mean... you do?" he mumbled.

"Yes."

"I... thought... it just seemed like you were avoiding me, for some reason."

"I was." She walked out the door, leaving a stunned Shinji standing there. His heart fell at her seemingly cold response.

_Have I offended her in some way?_

After several moments, he followed after her, his shoulders slumped, unsure of what to do next.

_She wants to talk to me. But why was she avoiding me?_

Sadness welled up into a tight ball in his throat.

_Maybe it's best not to know. Maybe... she just wants to tell me to leave her alone. But what did I do?_

It didn't surprise him. He was constantly doing or saying things that drove people away from him. But this was many times worse than all his other rejections. This was Rei. And she was the only other person he had found that was with him in the resetting events.

Rei of course did not mean it in that way at all. She was simply answering his question. As she walked, she wondered why he was following her at such a distance. He had expressed his wish to talk to her, but he was hesitating. She knew his reticence well, and decided to wait for him to talk when he was ready.

He saw her stop at the train station ahead, buy a ticket, and stand by the ticket window, waiting for the train. He stopped walking. To buy a ticket, he would have to approach her once more. He sighed, and walked up to the ticket counter. He pulled a bill from his pocket, put it into the machine, and waited for the ticket to dispense. He glanced over to where Rei stood, staring out into space. After several seconds, she turned her head to face him. He looked away, tears in his eyes, taking the ticket that had appeared in the slot.

_Don't run away..._

He swallowed against the constriction in his throat. "Have I... done something to offend you?" he managed to blurt out.

"No."

He heard something strange in her voice, and looked at her again. "Then... why were you avoiding me?"

"I was afraid." Her answer was so soft that he almost didn't hear it.

His eyes widened. "A-afraid?" He had never heard of her being afraid of anything. She was one of the bravest people he had ever met. "Of what?"

"That you would reject me."

"Why would I do that?" he asked, genuine surprise in his voice. His stunned relief almost made his legs give way beneath him.

"I don't know. That's why I was afraid."

The train approached, slid to a stop, and the doors opened. Rei walked onto the train, and Shinji followed. He almost fell into his usual routine, sitting as far away from others as possible, but something made him follow her. She sat down, and he sat down next to her as the train started to move again.

She sat, her hands in her lap, her posture straight, her gaze lost on the far wall. He sat, looking down at his hands, which were shaking. He clinched them both into fists, trying to quell the movement.

"I would never reject you, Ayanami. You remind me of... of my..."

She looked over at him, waiting for him to continue. He looked at her face, and the resemblance was uncanny.

"...my mother."

He looked down at his lap again, embarrassed.

"Part of my physical DNA is from Yui."

He looked at her again, his cheeks still slightly red.

"But you... you're..."

"I am I. I am Rei. Not your mother."

"I... guess I already knew that," he said, relieved. "I've felt... my mother when piloting Eva."

"Yes. Yui's soul is in Unit-01."

He looked at her, his eyes wide. "Then your soul..."

"My soul resides in my body."

His face cracked into a smile, which he tried to hide. "No, I know that. I just meant... who are you?"

It was a question she had asked herself many times. Now, after Instrumentality, she knew.

"Part of me is..."

"_I'm home."_

She remembered saying the words, floating in front of Lilith's body in Terminal Dogma.

"Part of me is Lilith. But I am Rei." Her voice was firm, as if she were trying to convince herself as well as him. This answer seemed to satisfy his curiosity. But she could still feel his tension. Their shoulders were touching, though she didn't think he knew this.

"You fear physical contact." It was a statement. She had seen it in him, and knew it to be true. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, and so she shifted, intending to move to a different seat.

"No! Don't go..." his hand caught hers, and she sat back again in surprise.

The two fears warred within him, fear of contact, and fear of being alone. After several moments, he sighed. She was here, with him. He was holding her hand. And _she _was the one who was afraid of rejection. He wouldn't have believed it, but he knew what few words she said, she meant. His initial fears allayed, he found that the shared contact was... comfortable. He took the hand he was holding, and brought it into his lap, putting his other hand over it.

"I shouldn't fear _your_ touch, atleast," he said with a smile. "We... during Instrumentality..." he couldn't continue.

"Our bodies were merged," she prompted him.

His face flamed. "You... remember that, do you."

"Yes." She turned her body to face his, gripping his arm with her left hand, and extracting her right hand from his grip. She took his hand again in a hand-shake. "Thank you," she said, looking into his eyes.

The sensation of deja-vu jarred him, as he recalled saying the same thing to her before reversing Third Impact. "...for what?"

"For not rejecting me."

She stood, her hand slipping from his as she walked down the length of the train.

"Wh-where are you going?" he called after her.

"NERV HQ."

"Oh, right..."

He had not even noticed that the train had stopped. He got up and followed her. They walked up to the armored bunker which served as an entry to NERV headquarters. She slid her card through the reader, which promptly gave the negative chime. She paused, then turned to Shinji.

"...oh, right... s...sorry, I forgot." He turned slightly red and handed her the updated security card.

_She was afraid. That I'd reject her. Does she have...?_

As they rode the long conveyor down into the heart of NERV, he mustered up the courage to speak.

"A-Ayanami. Do you... have feelings for me?"

She had admitted her fear to him. He couldn't let fear keep him from asking the question.

Her eyes widened, and as she turned to look into his eyes, she felt the same sensation she had felt when she looked down at him from the Girl's pool.

Feelings. Strange feelings.

For Ikari? About him?

Caused by him?

Yes.

_What does it mean to have feelings?_

_What does it mean to care?_

Feelings.

Feeling.

Feel.

Touch.

Turning on the escalator to face him, she reached out her hand to take his. She could feel him tense slightly, then relax.

Shared touch.

He didn't pull away. She put her other hand over it, holding his hand between the two of hers, looking down at it.

A feeling caused by touch.

Emotion caused by touch.

AT-fields, pushing against each other.

AT-fields, his and hers, each of them unique, defining who they are.

His unique signature pushing against her unique signature.

"Yes," she decided.

The escalator deposited them onto solid ground again, and they involuntarily drew apart.

The long silence had unnerved Shinji. He wondered what she had been thinking about.

_Did I really expect a quick yes or no?_

He chuckled to himself.

_I don't understand that question myself. It's... like I was asking her, so that I wouldn't have to ask myself._

"_I'm sorry, I don't know what to do or feel at a time like this."_

Her words after they had defeated the fifth Angel in the original time-line.

_I pushed her into answering a question that _neither_ of us understand._

It made him wonder what her 'yes' had meant. He looked up, and found that she had gone. He felt a slight emptiness and unease as he made his way to the control room.

* * *

He stood in the control room, lost in his thoughts, as Rei went through reactivation with Unit-00. It was the alarm klaxxon that jarred him back to reality.

"Ikari! An unidentified object is rapidly approaching NERV Central." Fuyutski reported, setting the phone back in its receptacle. "It may be the fifth Angel!"

"Abort the test!" Gendo ordered. "Place all operations on first stage alert!"

_The fifth Angel,_ Shinji thought, as he jogged to the locker room to change into his plug suit. Despite all that he had gone through since then, if he thought back, he could still feel the terrible pain from the Angel's powerful beam weapon melting into his chest armor.

_I don't want go through that again._

_But what can I do to avoid it?_

"_Hey, Misato, could you not send me up there? The Angel is going to fire a horribly powerful beam weapon that would melt through my armor like butter."_

He chuckled, imagining trying to convince Misato of that without telling her how he knew.

_No, I don't think she'll buy that. At this point, there's really nothing I could say to convince her, without raising questions about how I know what I know._

He slipped into his plug suit, thumbing the switch that activated the vacuum seal, feeling the entire suit conform to his body.

_Well, maybe I can dodge it. That's the only real option, I guess._

* * *

The main alarm blared over Tokyo-3 as the massive diamond shape of the fifth Angel floated serenely towards its destination.

"The target is passing over Tanusawa!" Shigeru yelled.

"Unit-01 is beginning launch sequence." Aoba reported.

"Releasing primary lock bolts!" the massive bolts uncoupled.

"Lock bolts, released." Shinji reported, as the red tell-tales lit up in his display.

"The target is now intruding into Lake Ashino airspace."

"Eva Unit-01 is ready for launch!"

"Launch Eva!" Yelled Misato. Suddenly a technician reported,

"We're detecting a high energy reaction inside the target..."

"What'd you say??" Misato asked, trepidation in her voice.

"The energy torus is accelerating and massing upon itself!"

"It can't be!" exclaimed Ritsuko, looking at the sensor data.

* * *

The crossed hatches of an entry point slid open, launch-rails extending skyward and locking into place. Shinji sat tensed as Eva rose above-ground. Misato's shouted warning was in his ear as he wrenched Eva into a quick sideways jump. The final restraining bolts tore loose just as he saw the flash of light on the forward edge of the massive diamond. The high-intensity beam melted a furrow into his heavy shoulder armor before punching out the back of the armored entry building.

"Gyaaah!" The pain from the wound wasn't as bad as feeling the LCL temperature increase dramatically from the nearness of the intense radiation caused by he beam's glancing hit.

"Minor damage to right shoulder armor!" Shinji heard Hyuga's voice. "Environmental systems are compensating for the increase in LCL temperature..."

He slid to a stop, his armored feet gripping the reinforced street below. He pushed off into a run, desperately searching for the nearest entry point. The safest thing at this point was to assume that the entry point he had just left was damaged when he had torn loose from it.

"Good going! Just keep heading for that entry point." Misato encouraged.

"That was quick thinking on Shinji's part." Ritsuko murmured, studying the damage report.

"I'm reading another energy build-up!" Shigeru yelled.

Ritsuko checked his monitor. "It's going to fire again..."

"Shinji, did you get that? Prepare to dodge!" Misato warned.

"I see it, I see it..." Buildings flashed by on either side as his Eva's feet pounded the pavement, leaving cracks in its surface. The reinforced material was built to stand up to the punishment of the tremendous weigh of the giant machines, but he was in full sprint mode, pushing off as hard as he could with each pounding step. As he saw the energy output rise, he hurriedly looked for a suitable side street. When he saw the output spike, he leapt to the right, dodging along the side avenue around a building. The energy blast missing by a small margin, burning through the space he had just occupied, shattering the windows of the buildings alongside its path. He slid to a stop in front of the armored entry building, which was open, waiting for him.

"I'm not able to get a solid lock on the restraining bolts..." Maya warned.

"There's no time! Drop him!" Ritsuko snapped. They all watched the pinpoint of light travel down the screen.

The Eva shuddered around him, swaying crazily, half in and half out of the restraining bolts holding him to the launch-recovery rails. Shinji hoped fervently that he didn't come loose. He could feel the jarring impacts as he tore through conduits and punched holes in the access tunnels as they flashed by.

"No further damage to the Eva!" Maya reported in relief when the pinpoint of light stopped at the bottom.

"Get a recovery team out there on the double!" Misato commanded.


	5. Chapter 5: Working together

Chapter 5

Ritsuko looked over the damage reports as Unit-01 moved slowly off the launch and landing platform towards its holding cage.

"Damn. Well, we're not going to be able to use _that _launch tunnel until it gets a complete overhaul," she murmured.

Lt. Aoba looked up at her, his monitor showing all of the launch tunnels, the line representing the damaged one marked in red with several blinking red dots along its length. "I'm afraid you're right, ma'am. These are the damaged conduits that we know about, but there are probably holes and torn lines all through that launch tunnel."

Ritsuko sighed. "Well, better the tunnel than Unit-01," she said. "We've got plenty of launch points." Unit-01 still had pieces of the damaged restraining bolts from the original launch point stuck to its armor when she had ordered the emergency retrieval. Those pieces prevented the Eva from fully interfacing with the locking bolts of the retrieval mechanism, and so it had bounced around quite a bit on the way down. _We're just lucky the Eva didn't get caught up on something on the way down. Who knows how long it might have taken to extract it from such a tight spot?_

"What _about _Unit-01?" Misato asked, anxious to know the complete status of her only functioning combat unit.

"Minor damage to the shoulder armor," Ritsuko said reassuringly. "No restriction on movement, no leaks; the Unit is fully functional. If we had to, we could launch it again immediately."

Misato nodded. "Good." That was exactly what she wanted to hear.

* * *

Rei stood, watching as the crane slowly brought Unit-01's entry plug over to the catwalk so that the pilot could disembark. Being free of her conditioning was... she didn't have any words for it. She had watched from the control room as Shinji had done an admirable job of staying alive and keeping his Eva in one piece. He couldn't have been expected to do much else. Trying to get into hand-to-hand range of the fifth Angel was suicide. They had not had time to talk before the battle, but Shinji had handled it as well as could be expected. Damage to his Eva was minor, and that was what was important.

After his Eva had been retrieved, she had wondered what she should do. Usually she followed a very strict and very small set of guidelines revolving around either her work with NERV and the Commander, or her extremely minimal upkeep of herself (eat, sleep, train, do school work, stare at wall). Now she was going to have to involve herself with Shinji to gain more information about what was going on. She had decided that her first course of action would be to go meet him as he left his entry plug, so that they would have the maximum amount of time to exchange information before their mission against the fifth Angel. And so here she was.

Shinji felt the entry plug bump to a halt, and he got up, grasping both sides of the open hatchway, pulling himself up out into the open air. The plug always got kind of rank after a mission, once the LCL had been drained and it was being lowered to the catwalk. He wondered if Ritsuko would laugh at a suggestion to put in some kind of air-circulation system. He supposed it didn't matter, since the time he spent like this was usually so short. 'Superfluous equipment,' she'd probably say. As he stepped out onto the catwalk, LCL dripping from his hair, he noticed Rei standing there watching him, and his heart rose.

"Ayanami." He had to stop himself from grinning like a fool. She was here, waiting for him.

As they walked down the catwalk towards the locker rooms, she found that she didn't know what to say. And yet conversation was what they needed, in order to exchange ideas, and discuss possible plans. She decided to start with an obvious fact, and see where things went. "Pilot Ikari, you fought well."

He quirked his mouth to one side. "Well, I didn't exactly fight out there. I was too busy running for my life."

Of course. She saw his point, and how her statement was slightly flawed. She corrected it. "You ran for your life well."

He coughed slightly, hiding his smile.

She looked at him, puzzled.

He cleared his throat, lowering his hand. "Umm, the way you said that, it sounded like you were making a joke." He kicked himself mentally. Of course she wouldn't be trying to make a joke. He had never heard her tell a joke in her life.

"How so? And what is a joke?" she asked. It was important that they be able to communicate accurately, and she wasn't going to leave anything unsaid or unexplored.

Relieved that she wasn't upset at the misunderstanding, he began to explain.

* * *

The Unit-01 decoy balloon floated out over the water towards the fifth Angel. The military vessel to which it was attached moved forward at a measured pace in accordance with its mission. The decoy raised its energy pistol. As the it continued moving forward, one edge of the Angel suddenly flashed, and a powerful burst of high-energy particles sizzled through the atmosphere and destroyed the balloon, sending a massive plume of water skyward.

"It's accelerated particle beam cannon has hit the balloon!" Lt. Shigeru reported to Misato as he carefully recorded the distance from the decoy to the target. "The decoy's been vaporized!"

* * *

After he had showered and changed, Shinji had met up with Ayanami, who had again waited outside the locker room for him. He had never had such attention lavished upon him, and he felt on top of the world. _I only hope I don't screw this up, h_e thought. With a slight chill he realized that this was one thing he _could _screw up. As long as things continued to reset whenever he died, he would be able to try new things and do better, but Ayanami would always remember if he messed up with her. He managed to push away the depressing thoughts. Since he didn't have to pay so much attention to events around him, they being familiar to him because of his memories, he could focus most of his attention on making sure he _didn't _screw up. They had found a secluded corner of the Eva bay that was obviously being used as a temporary storage area. Boxes were piled high in neat stacks.

"We probably won't be bothered here," Ayanami said, as they sat down behind a stack of boxes. "We have approximately fourteen hours until we are needed to pilot our Evas against the enemy."

"If events are similar to the last time," he said.

She nodded. "They should be. The only difference this time is that your Eva is less damaged." She paused. "And you are not in the hospital with neurological damage."

"Oh. Yeah, there is that. That means you won't have to wait on me and take care of me like you did last time." He remembered how she had brought him food and briefed him on the upcoming mission. He momentarily wondered if she had done it because of orders, or if she had felt something for him even then. Probably orders.

"I'm taking care of you right now, am I not?"

"Yes, yes I guess you are." He smiled, "Speaking of which, the Angel's weapon _did _hit my Eva's shoulder. It's kind of sore, maybe you could..." He raised his eyebrows, holding his right shoulder.

She leaned forward in concern, reaching out and touching his shoulder. "You did not mention this before. You should have told..." She paused, seeing the laughter in his eyes, and remembering what he had told her just twenty minutes ago.

"_Sometimes it's the truth. Sometimes it's a complete lie. Most of the times it's a mixture of them both, and exaggerations are included as well," Shinji had explained._

"_This sounds like it would hinder accurate conversation, not help it," Ayanami had argued. What possible use could jokes have in a factual conversation?_

"_Well, it's kind of hard to explain. Jokes are used to lighten the mood during something dangerous, or stressful. It's kind of a morale-booster."_

"_That makes sense," she said, beginning to have an understanding of how useful jokes were. She had no idea how to create them, and she doubted that she could even recognize them, for now, but atleast she understood their function. Keeping up morale was important._

"Oh. I see. That's a joke," she said.

His eyes widened, as did his smile. "Wow, I'm impressed that you caught it." He noticed that she didn't remove her hands from his shoulder.

Her cheeks turned a slight pink as she noted that her feelings for him were again rising. Because she was touching him. She almost pulled her hand away, but decided that this was an important area to study as well. She needed to understand her emotions, and be able to control them, if she was going to be around him for long periods of time. This was turning out to be more complicated than she had thought.

* * *

"Next one!" Misato ordered.

The powerful locomotive surged out of the mountainside into the open, coming to a halt. The squat, powerful-looking cannon situated on the single car behind the engine traversed upward slightly. There was an earth-shattering boom and a lance of light shot downrange at the Angel. Meters from the surface of the Angel, a section of air went mirror solid, and the beam reflected off into space. There was a flash from the Angel, and the mountainside around the locomotive was devastated. The Angel continued to drill down towards NERV HQ, unimpeded.

"The type twelve mortar has been vaporized!" Hyuga reported unnecessarily. Misato sighed, a rueful smile on her face.

"Yeah, I see that." She hadn't really expected it to work. It was just another test in a long line of tests to try and determine a safe engagement distance.

* * *

His eyes closed, Shinji sighed with contentment as Rei knelt behind him and massaged his shoulders. "You don't know how good that feels. I guess my shoulders really _were _kind of stiff."

She paused, noting his words. "You're right, I don't know how it feels." She stopped, moved around him, and sat down, waiting.

He jumped slightly. "O-okay... I don't really have a lot of experience, but..."

"Neither did I, Pilot Ikari," she pointed out. He nodded at her accuracy. He began softly kneading her shoulders.

"We need to beat this Angel without partially destroying your Unit-00 this time," Shinji spoke as he worked.

"Yes," she agreed. There was no need to cause NERV to incur the extra expense and repair time.

He thought for a moment. "Well, one simple option is to let the Angel fire first. It was the proximity of our shots that caused them to miss the last time."

"Yes," she agreed. She gave an unconscious gasp. It really _did _feel good. She wondered why such massages were not mandatory for all NERV personnel. It would certainly 'improve morale' as Shinji put it.

* * *

"From the data we've collected, we're assuming the Angel automatically attacks any opponents that come within a certain range," Hyuga summarized his report, as he watched Misato twiddle a pen between her fingers, thinking. The Lieutenant had a kind of secret crush on her, and always tried to obtain assignments with her whenever possible. Aoba was just as capable of helping her with these measurements, and indeed he had been the one who had been assigned to help her. Hyuga had found out, and convinced his friend to let him take the assignment.

"_Hey, if you want the extra work, go for it," Aoba had said innocently. He watched in amusement at Shigeru's happy expression. Yep, love strikes again, he thought, as his friend walked away, practically skipping. His friend probably thought his crush was a secret, but almost everyone knew about it. That didn't mean they let him know that, of course._

"Hmmm..." Misato murmured to herself.

"So, there's a one hundred percent probability that _anything _that enters that range will be targeted," Hyuga continued.

* * *

Their lips moved experimentally against each other. The 'morale building' had eventually moved past shoulder massages to... other things. Actually, it had been Rei who had pushed Shinji into kissing.

"_Understanding our emotions is very important to clear and concise communication," she had explained. "If we don't know the effects of our emotions, we can't correct for them. They will be an unknown factor, always there to possibly disturb our plans."_

_Well, heck, he wasn't going to argue with that. He might be socially deprived, but he was no fool._

"Mmmm..." he pulled away slightly, looking at his watch.

She noticed his gesture. "Do you think we should check in?" she wondered.

"Why? The plan will probably be just the same as last time."

"Yes, that is true," she said.

Shinji marveled at what he was doing. He had never been in a relationship with a girl before. This was... amazing. He just stared into her eyes, sighing with happiness.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Your eyes. I've never seen such red eyes in anyone else. They're beautiful." He paused. "Well, actually, come to think of it, I've never seen light blue hair, either," he said, reaching up and running his fingers through the bangs hanging over her forehead.

She gave him an involuntary smile, and his heart skipped a beat. It was only a slight grin, but he had elicited it with his words and actions.

"You too have a correctly proportioned face and agreeable features," she said, her smile widening further.

He blinked, wondering at the strange wording, "Ah, thanks..."

She paused, as if waiting for something. "Was my joke not funny?"

"Oh!" he chuckled, bringing a hand up over his mouth. "We're... going to have to work on that." Her face fell slightly. "That was a good try, though." he said quickly, seeing her response.

* * *

She stood at attention in the Commander's Observatory.

"You want to use a sniper to shoot the target from outside its firing zone." said Fuyutski.

"Yes sir. Instead of trying to neutralize the target's AT field, I believe a pinpoint shot with a focused high-energy beam is the only way."

"Hm, what do the MAGI say?" asked Gendo.

"The responses from the MAGI supercomputers were two affirmative and one conditional affirmative."

"Our probability of success is only eight point seven percent..." Fuyutski reminded her. She set her mouth in a hard smile.

"It's the highest value we could get."

"I see no reason to reject your plan." said the Commander, his gloved hands clasped in front of his chin, elbows resting on the desk. "You may proceed, Captain Katsuragi."

"Yes sir."

* * *

As they kissed, Shinji teased open her mouth with his tongue. "Mmhmm..." she murmured. After several seconds, she pulled away, "What was that, Pilot Ikari?"

He turned slightly red. Well, slightly more red. Both their faces were slightly flushed as it was. "Oh, umm, I don't..."

She waited.

"Er... if you don't like..." He was completely embarrassed now.

Her red eyes sparkled at his attempts to communicate, "I liked it just fine, I just wondered specifically what it was you were doing."

"Ah." There was a moment of silence, and this time it was Shinji who brought up the question of whether they would be missed. "I wonder when we should head back. We've got to give ourselves time to be briefed, and to change, and..."

"I have already given much thought to all of that, Pilot Ikari," she said, reaching out and grabbing his head in both hands. "I will let you know when it is time. Now let me try that on you," she said. A wave of amusement and joy rose within him as he surrendered to her ministrations.

* * *

Misato just stood there, bouncing between rage and disbelief. When the two of them had finally slunk in, Shinji looked guilty, and Rei... well, if she didn't know better, the young girl actually looked satisfied, or even _content. _It had been humiliating to have to crawl to the JSSDF and ask them to lend NERV a couple of their heavy-lift Skycrane helicopters to deliver the requisitioned JSSDF particle rifle. In the end it had taken a direct order from the Imperial Office to get the thing released. She'd have loved to just have marched in with the normal requisition orders, and then have an Eva cart it away. But that was impossible if the pilots were missing! And what if they'd been even later? NERV would've been destroyed by the Angel!

"...I mean, just who did you think was going to pilot the Evas?? We _still _have people out looking for you. I'm going to have send people out after those people, so _they _don't get lost!" she sighed in exasperation, watching the two of them stand there at attention, waiting for her to finish.

"Alright, listen up, then!" said Misato, "Here are the battle plans for the operation. Shinji..."

"Yes?"

"Your Unit-01 will be the gunner."

"Right."

"Rei, you will cover him with Unit-00."

"Yes."

"The reason for this arrangement is that Shinji has a higher synch ratio with Unit-01, and this operation will require an exceptionally high degree of precision." Ritsuko explained. "Since the positron beam will be affected by earth's gravity, magnetic field, and rotation, it will not fire in a straight line. You must remember to adjust for these deviations; you must penetrate the core precisely."

"Would the beam be affected by the Angel's weapon if they passed close by each other?" asked Shinji.

"That's a good question; I don't know." said Ritsuko. "I'll run it by the MAGI."

"It's time." said Misato, "Get geared up."

"Right." Shinji and Rei answered in unison.

* * *

Shinji and Rei sat next to each other on the scaffolding that had been set up so that they could easily reach their Evas' partially-ejected entry-plugs when the time came for the operation to commence. This time they had inconspicuously moved their Evas several yards closer to each other before coming to rest, so that the two scaffoldings were close enough to jump across. Night shrouded the city in darkness, the only lights being from the city itself, and the otherworldly glow from the Angel as it continued to bore its way down towards NERV HQ.

As they sat holding hands, their fingers intertwined, Shinji spoke. "I... really enjoyed being with you today." He paused, hoping she didn't take the next part wrong. "Um, if you don't mind my asking, you seemed to be really anxious for physical contact. Why is that?"

"I don't mind you asking," Rei's answered softly. She had, as usual, taken the question literally. "When Commander Ikari trained me, he conditioned me to stay away from others. He didn't teach me anything about emotions, except that they should be avoided at all costs. Aside from him, I had no human contact. And yet, human contact feels good." There was a moment of silence. She leaned her head on his shoulder, correcting her previous statement. "Or, to be more precise, contact with _you _feels good."

Well, that answered that question. She was basically like a starving person who had been shown a banquet of food. No wonder she had been eager for human contact. Shinji fairly glowed with happiness. This was all he had ever wanted.

Some time later, acting on some internal clock, Rei stood. "It's time, Pilot Ikari." She paused for a moment, remembering their byplay the last time through. "If I should not say goodbye, what should I say?"

He thought for a moment. "Good luck," Shinji finally answered.

She smiled. That was logical. So many things on this planet seemed to rely on this luck, that wishing someone else 'good luck' was a kind gesture. This was undoubtedly another 'morale building' statement, since it was extremely unlikely that simply wishing someone good luck would bring good luck. She paused as a realization jolted her. Wishing someone good luck would raise their morale, which would perhaps make them perform better. Bringing them better luck in whatever it was they were doing. In her short time with Pilot Ikari, she had already learned and experienced so much. She was truly glad to have been forced by circumstances into a relationship with him. She smiled. "Good luck, then, Pilot Ikari."

He smiled back, "You too, Ayanami."

He watched with fascination as she lithely jumped the gap over to her scaffolding and climbed into her Unit-00. He finally turned, climbing into Unit-01.

* * *

The background chatter of the control room filtered through the entry plug's systems as Shinji waited.

"...transmitting all power to Mount Futago Temporary Substation. No problems reported with third connection."

"Release final safety systems!" Misato commanded. Unit-01 pulled back the bolt on the massive positron rifle, then pushed it forward, locking the fuses into place. The fire-control hood lowered over Shinji's head.

"Error correction for earth's gravity is zero point zero zero zero nine!" he heard a technician report. Eva was crouched behind the rifle, one hand gripping the scope, the other caressing the trigger, ready to fire.

"Seventh and tenth connections engaged!" several substations began arcing sympathetically and the heavily-burdened bundles of wire leading up the mountain began to smoke.

"Transmitting all energy to the positron rifle!" Shinji sat, his mouth a hard line, waiting for the inevitable. As a technician began counting down from ten, a female technician turned to Ritsuko.

"High energy output detected inside target!"

"No, not this time!" Her fingers were streaming over her keyboard, making final adjustments. "Shinji, I've got the new set of corrections for you; it's a little rough, but it's the best we could do on short notice!"

"Right!" His targeting reticle reset, then began coming together again. He waited. The Angel did not fire, though its own charge had also reached maximum. His finger was tensed against the trigger as he waited in confusion, the murmur of reports and questions going unheeded in the background.

"It's no good..." he had planned to let the Angel fire first, and so have the best chance at correcting for his own shot. The Angel was apparently smarter than he'd given it credit for, and was waiting as well. Time was on its side, after all. He shifted his aim point, hoping to throw its calculations off. Then he pressed the trigger.

* * *

"What's he waiting for?" muttered Misato.

_Could the Angel have guessed that we planned to correct for it's shot?_

wondered Ritsuko.

"Shinji, there's no time. The Angel is close to breaking through the Geofront!" As Misato spoke, the night was suddenly lit up by the flare from the positron rifle. The Angel's answering burst passed by Shinji's, both slightly wavering in their courses. When the scopes cleared, there was a hole below the Angel's midsection, arcs and secondary explosions still visible and reaching above the midline. The sparkle of the Angel's second shot died, and the room erupted in cheers.

"Yeah!" shouted Misato. Ritsuko rechecked her monitor.

Shinji waited for the second shot, but it did not come. He checked his displays.

"Shinji, it's repairing itself and turning another side to face you."

"Barrel cooling in process. Fifteen seconds to full recharge!" a technician yelled. He worked the bolt, ejecting the spent fuze which bounced a few times, leaving a series of dents in the earth. He waited, sweating slightly.

_c'mon..._

Sparkles once again built up on the Angel's firing surfaces.

"It's repaired itself and is preparing to fire a second shot..." Ritsuko stated.

"Not now!" he heard Misato yell in the background.

There was a flash of light, and Shinji saw Unit-00 and the massive heat shield it was carrying outlined against the backdrop of the discharge, bathed in white light.

"...rrrr, hurry up!" Shinji growled, as the targeting reticle slowly drifted back over to the Angel's heart, recalculations continuing. The shield had just started to ripple from the heat when the cross turned into a circle and chimed in his ear. He pressed the trigger, watching his shot corkscrew halfway around the Angel's shot before continuing downrange.

"Yeah, we made it!" Misato yelled, as the Angel, its backside on fire, toppled over.


	6. Chapter 6: Kiss

Chapter 6

Shinji lay back in his bed in Misato's apartment, listening to his SDAT, luxuriating in his new life. After the battle with the fifth Angel, he had met Ayanami again, who had told him that she had some work with NERV that she was required to do, and so had left on that errand. He himself also had his own work, and then there had been the debriefing, and all the usual things that happened after a battle. Misato had invited Ritsuko over for a celebratory dinner, and the woman had absolutely refused unless Shinji did the cooking. He had been more than happy to do so, and they had celebrated. He was only sorry that Ayanami's work had kept her so late that she couldn't join in.

He… still didn't have any friends besides Touji, Kensuke, and Ayanami, but those three were all he needed, in his own eyes. Ayanami. His girlfriend. He again found himself grinning like a maniac. He closed his eyes, sighing in happiness. Everything was going right. _That's usually when bad things start happening, _a voice said in the back of his mind.

He locked the voice away into a very dark room. What could go wrong? He was sharing this new reality, these resets, with a girl, and as long as the resets lasted, there was nothing that could harm either of them. He faltered at that mental statement. Well, to be brutally frank, he didn't know that. He really didn't know much of anything about the resets. _Oh well, _he thought. _I'll just have to learn._ Together, they would learn.

It was really amazing how disciplined she was. She was almost machine-like, and was constantly thinking about possibilities that he would never have considered. And she wanted to spend time with him. Well, that was perfectly fine with him. He wanted to spend time with her as well. As he turned these thoughts over and over, the image of her dirty apartment came up in his mind. Tomorrow was the start of the weekend. He would go and help her clean it up. _Heck, I'll clean it up myself, if she doesn't want to help_, he thought with a smile. But if he had to guess, she would indeed help. He briefly wondered why she had never kept it clean before. He refused to put her in the same class as Misato, and say that she was lazy. He knew better than that, having already seen firsthand her extreme discipline. It had to be something else. As these and other thoughts ran back and forth through his mind, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

After going through his usual morning routine a little earlier than usual, he began fixing breakfast, his thoughts elsewhere. Misato slid open the door to her room, still in her sleeping shorts and shirt, stretching and yawning tiredly.

"Morning, Shinji," she mumbled, as she staggered over to the appropriate refrigerator.

He looked up, smiling, knowing it was useless to respond until she had drunk her morning Yebisu. She heard nothing until then. He doubted she even knew he was there. She would probably have mumbled to an empty room, if he had for some reason been absent. They both knew each other's routines by now, and he was always up before her.

"Yeeeeeeahhh!" she yelled, belching in a most unfemale way, after downing the entire can in one long gulp. "_That's _the way to start the morning!" She sighed, now awake, and looked around. "Wow, Shinji, you've pulled out the stops this morning," she commented as he slid a plate in front of her. "And it's not even your turn to cook!" She happily began to work through her meal.

"Oh, I guess you're right. I forgot, I guess." He smiled, humming as he got his own plate and sat down to eat.

She looked at him in surprise. "What's _with _you this morning?" she finally got out. "You're happier than I've _ever _seen you." She certainly wasn't going to complain, but it was odd seeing him like this. The first couple of weeks of school had been hard on the boy. She had seen how he acted. She had bought him a phone, but he never seemed to get any calls. She had doubted at the time that he even had any friends. She knew since then that he'd made friends with the two boys he'd let into his entry plug, and… something ticked over in her mind. His strange absence during the preparation for the fifth Angel. Ayanami's look of contentment. Were they…? Oh, this was too much. She was going to have fun with this.

"Say, how's your school life coming along?" she began innocently. _First, the hunt._

"Oh, it's going just fine," he said, slowly eating, unaware of her intentions.

He didn't even realize what she was up to. This was going to be incredibly enjoyable. She smiled, "That's good. Making many new friends?" she asked. This was just what she had wanted. A normal roommate who had enough mental stability to be able to take her teasing. Someone who could be her friend. She had few enough of them as it was. Really, she was almost alone, here in NERV. She had made a few friends back when she had been stationed in Germany, but that had all gone down the drain when she had moved here. Ritsuko was her only true, close friend.

That question gave him slight pause, but he smiled, and went back to eating. "Yes," was all he said.

This was going too slow, she decided. It was time for the kill. "Making any new _girl_friends?" she asked, her tone now needling. She watched as he began choking on the egg he had been chewing. Her eyes danced with merriment. _A hit! A palpable hit!_ So she _had_ been right.

For a moment he blushed a deep red, and he saw how much she enjoyed it. His mental state faltered for a moment, but then he found that he didn't care. She wasn't in on the resets. If he wanted to, he could erase her memory by going back and doing things more secretly. But with the confidence he drew from that train of thought, he found he really didn't care if she teased him about his new relationship. It… well, it wasn't going to be possible to keep it a secret. And he wasn't sure he wanted to. He was… happy. And because of that, the rest of the world could go hang.

"I knew it!" she yelled triumphantly. "Well, come on, tell me all about her! What's her name?"

"It's Ayanami, actually."

That was what she had thought. She watched his eyes go dreamy, and she sighed, remembering her old trysts. _Kaji. I wonder where he is right now?_ Her thoughts turned slightly gloomy remembering him, and the mistakes she had made with him. She pushed the dark thoughts away. She wasn't going to ruin his new relationship with her sad thoughts.

"Wow. So what's she like?" Misato asked, genuinely curious.

"You mean you don't know?" he asked, somewhat incredulous. "You _are _the Operations Director after all. Isn't it your job to know your pilots?" He couldn't resist the urge to tease her back.

"Hey!" she said, back-pedaling furiously. "You know how introverted and aloof she is. How am I supposed to break through that?" She was happy at the challenge he was presenting her. She could finally get to know him, and see what was going on in that brain of his. _Thank you, Ayanami. You seem to have opened him up._

"Oh, she's not as aloof as you'd think. And she's a fantastic kisser!" he sighed, resting his chin on his hands, and his elbows on the table.

That kind of worried her, and she couldn't help but comment, "Well, just don't do anything you'll regret…" She hated to mention it and possibly put a damper on things, but she was his guardian after all.

"Misato!" he said, shock in his voice.

"I'm serious!" she said, though she smiled. "Those kinds of things can haunt you your entire life."

He looked at her. "It sounds like something is haunting _you._" He really didn't know much about her, and was curious. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed. "I appreciate it Shinji, but not right now." She was amazed how things had developed. She now had a friend who wanted to comfort her. She would take advantage of his offer, but she needed time to think first. "Thanks for breakfast. I'll clean up, since you cooked."

His eyes widened slightly. "O-okay." Had she actually offered to do an extra chore? "Thanks, actually. I wanted to take some cleaning supplies over to Ayanami's apartment and help her clean it up. You wouldn't believe the state of the place," he said. "Though it wasn't near as messy as this place was when I found it." His tone was full of amusement.

"Go. Go," she said, waving a hand in his direction, letting the teasing roll off her. "Just remember what I said, okay?"

"Of course," he said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

As he walked up the stairs of Ayanami's apartment building, his good mood made him oblivious to the gloom and decrepit state of everything around him. He stopped in front of her door, and pressed the buzzer. "Ayanami, it's me!"

After a moment's hesitation, he heard her soft voice through the door, "Come in!"

He slid the door aside, walked in, stepped out of his shoes, and walked past the drier and washer into the main room. He was surprised to find her on the kneeling on the floor, looking up at him. He saw surprise in her eyes as well, for she had not been expecting him. He looked around. The bed was somewhat made up, and she had a plastic sack beside her which was half-full of garbage.

"You... You're cleaning up!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," she said. She recognized his tone of voice, and that he was surprised. Normally, it would have taken a direct question to get her to explain herself, but she looked at him differently than she looked at others. She decided to explain her reasoning without being asked. "I was thinking about what you told me yesterday about morale. I have always neglected my apartment, thinking that cleaning it was a waste of time and energy. After all, only I live in it. No one else visits." She paused, then corrected herself. "Except for you."

He smiled, remembering that visit. It was only recently, yet so much had happened since then, that it felt like a long time ago.

"I also began to consider myself," she continued. "I have always been strict and harsh with myself, but I now realize that... that if I take better care of myself, I will function better." She blushed, thinking about how logical that sounded. Why had she not seen it before?

His smile softened. "Yes. That's true." He held up the plastic bag he was holding. "Look, I brought some cleaning supplies, I'll help you, if that's okay.

She just sat there, looking up at him, and thinking. She had at first only wanted to get close to him to learn more about the recent strange occurrences. She had experimented with her feelings as well, when she had felt them come up, but only to understand them. Why had he come here to help her make her apartment more efficient? It was possible that his thought patterns merely ran alongside her own, and that he was helping her so that she could function better around him. As she thought back on her recent experiences with him, she discarded that thought. He was not nearly so logical. She herself often had to correct some small mistake that he had made, or tell him something that he had overlooked. Then why was he here?

It hit her, finally, and the emotion almost overwhelmed her as it arose. He truly cared about her. Not for some ulterior motive, like trying to understand the time loop, or because he wanted her to do something for him. He simply... cared. And she felt herself caring for him in return. She had felt this way about him at the beginning, but had only pursued those feelings because they fit into the grander scheme of discovering more about the time loop. Now, she realized, she too just cared. She liked the way she felt when she was around him.

She stood up. She stepped over to him, putting her hands around his waist. "It's more than okay, Pilot Ikari." She pulled him to her and kissed him, putting all of her new feeling into it. The bag fell from his fingers with a clatter, and he reached up, cupping her face in his hands as he returned her kiss.

She finally let him up for air, and they were both panting slightly. "Y-you appreciate my help that much, huh?"

"I appreciate _you_, Pilot Ikari."

There were several moments of silence as his stunned brain caught up. "C-call me Shinji."

Yes. That was logical. They were no longer just co-workers, or fellow pilots. Impersonal last names were unnecessary. "Shinji." She said the name experimentally. Now that it had been brought to her attention, she returned the favor. "And you may call me Rei," she said.

"Rei," he repeated, smiling.

She felt a burst of joy when he said her name, and she looked into his eyes, lost, pondering the strangeness of the emotions she was feeling.

As for Shinji, his thoughts were much less complicated. He was simply enthralled by her deep red eyes, and found himself unable to look away. After several more moments of silence, she slipped from his grasp and returned to the floor to continue cleaning up. He joined her, no longer disturbed by the sudden shift of mood. Over the past few days he had become more familiar with her logic and her changes of moods.

* * *

Shinji leaned against the window, lost in thought. They had not finished cleaning her apartment that day. Nor did they finished that weekend. It had taken them over a week before the place began to look livable. The biggest reason it took so long was because of their busy schedules. But they managed to find atleast an hour or so a day in which to clean. Behind him, the other students were in their usual groups, the classroom having filled back out now that it was generally known that Eva could handle the Angels and keep the city safe.

_or atleast keep the people safe..._

he thought. Every time he fought an Angel, parts of the city were devastated. There had to be a solution to that problem; perhaps a shaped AT field would contain the explosion, or atleast direct it away from the landscape... A familiar engine sound broke through his musings, and he got up.

_might as well leave before the rush..._

Today was the day of parent-teacher-meeting. As he left the window and walked away, he heard the familiar blue car roar up at what was probably an ungodly speed, screech through a half-circle, then come back down on all four tires with a bang. There was a general stampede to the windows as the boys all abandoned their groups, and the room fell into chaos for a short while as new groups formed, the girls either talking amongst themselves or staring icily at the boys.

As he passed Rei's desk, he heard her soft voice,

"Shinji." He stopped as if he'd run into a wall, then mentally berated himself.

_This is going to take some getting used to..._

He turned,

"Y-yeah?"

"Sit near me, Shinji. But before you do that..." without him realizing it, she had slipped her hand over his collar, "I wish to continue exploring my feelings." Shinji tried to look happy, but she had been using her usual emotionless voice, and it was beginning to creep him out.

"U.umm, a-aah, okay..."

"...is she Ikari's guardian?"

"What? He's got a babe like that for a bodyguard?"

With their attention on Misato as she got out of her car, no one noticed the stifled 'yipe!' and Shinji's head being yanked down. Misato took off her sunglasses, boys hanging from all the windows on that side of the school, goggling and drooling.

He was slightly embarrassed that she had chosen to display her affection in front of everybody, but as she put more passion into it, he found himself not caring. He leaned into it, returning the passion with his own rising feelings.

"...oh, Misato's so gorgeous..."

"...it's amazing someone so beautiful could be NERV's operations director!" said Touji. Kensuke had his camera zoomed perfectly, following the Captain as she walked down the sidewalk. He let his attention slip momentarily to briefly glance back to the classroom,

"...man, Shinji, you don't know how lucky you..." he broke off in shock when he saw Shinji, "...i..it's history in the making! But what do I film, Misato, or The Kiss?" Touji looked up.

"Kiss? What kiss?" He followed Kensuke's eyes, and his mouth opened in shock.

"Oh, man, I hate this choice!" the camera wavered. Misato smiled up at her admirers and made a V with her fingers, then disappeared around the corner. Rei released her choke-hold on Shinji's collar and their lips separated. Kensuke jerked his head back to the windows just as Misato rounded the corner.

"Aww, man, I missed both of them!"

"Wow, bad luck..." Touji said, finding his voice again. "...I guess they're a couple now..." he said, as round teardrops bounced beneath Kensuke's eyes. "Looks like he took my advice." He watched as Shinji sat down in the desk behind Rei and they talked.

"C'mon, everyone, back to your seats, the show's over!" the class rep yelled, more than a bit miffed at Touji, her crush. But it was near class start time after all.

The door to the classroom slid open revealing their ancient-looking teacher.

"Stand! Bow!" the class rep's voice rang out.

* * *

As the teacher droned on about subjects Shinji already knew, he sat and thought. Surely there was something that he could do during these class periods that wasn't a waste of time. Maybe he could find something interesting to study, and actually get some real learning done. He spent the class period thinking about what he would most like to learn more about.

* * *

At the end of the day, Shinji's eyes found Rei's and they both got up, their thoughts meshing. Kensuke was gathering all his stuff, when he looked up to notice Shinji and Rei go through the door and disappear. Shouldering his book bag he grabbed Touji by the neck, rousing him from his lazy-guy pose.

"Whuh? What-is-it? What's going on?" he muttered.

"They've left!" Kensuke yelled, hysterical, looking for his camera. He found it, and leapt up, Touji following slowly, "...c'mon, we gotta keep up with 'em!" Touji sighed. While he would be among the first to rib Shinji for his shyness around girls, the guy looked like he was getting some now. He didn't want Kensuke to embarrass him or get in the way. Still, maybe just this once. He jogged after his long-time friend; he was curious, and it was a historical day after all.

* * *

Rei had noticed his embarrassment during class, but also saw that he had overcome it. Still, she did not want him to feel uncomfortable, so she did not question him as he took her to a secluded spot.

They jogged along, doubling back a few times. Shinji couldn't shake the feeling that they were being followed, but he never caught sight of anyone. They stopped, in the middle of a deserted hallway in one of the unused wings of the school. Sometime during their run, their hands had found each other, and he drew feeling from that contact, her small hand in his. He turned, pushed her against the wall and searched her lips out with his. Her red eyes widened slightly, then closed.

"...mmmmm..."

He marveled at her soft lips. The moments stretched out until he felt something tickle the back of his head, and he slowly pulled back. They were both blushing slightly.

"Shinji, why did you stop?"

"I don't know, I thought..." he glanced down the hallway and saw two heads and a camera peaking around the corner. Rei looked at him questioningly, then followed his gaze.

"Oh." she said. "I see." Without looking back, she said, "Wait here, I'll take care of them." Her eyes flashed, counterpointing her still-impassive face as she slid out of his embrace and slowly walked down the hallway towards the intruders.

As the two boys watched, Ayanami's red eyes flashed, then changed colors to a vibrant orange as she approached them.

"Wow, such a scary face..." Touji muttered, white as a sheet.

"Touji, why are we still standing here?" asked Kensuke, his voice wavering.

"I don't know, man, my legs won't move!"

One of her eyebrows twitched, and the camera in his hands flashed with sparks and went bzzzzt! before dying.

"RUUUUN!" they found their leg strength again and disappeared in a flash.

* * *

Lt. Maya Ibuki sat in Central Dogma, hard at work on an assignment given to her by Ritsuko. It wasn't a difficult task, just repetitive and tedious. Her mind wandered to the Lieutenant sitting to her left. She doubted Shigeru even knew she existed. It was too bad. Those glasses made him look so cute. She cursed her weak nerves, knowing that she would never be able to approach him, and likewise, he probably would never even know she felt anything for him. She was surprised when one of the MAGI screens suddenly flashed.

"What the..."

* * *

Satisfied, Ayanami turned back around and returned to Shinji. As she leaned in to kiss Shinji again, he noticed her glowing orange eyes. He did a double-take,

"...u-uh, Rei... why are your eyes orange?" she looked at him, questioningly, her eyes reverting to their usual deep red color.

"What?"

He decided he didn't want to know, and moved closer.

"Never mind."

* * *

"AT field!" Maya yelled. "MAGI reports detecting a possible AT field... no, it just disappeared." The control room had just been starting to wind itself up into a frenzy at those words, the possibility of an Angel attack electrifying the normally quiet atmosphere. Everything slowly returned to normal. Ritsuko entered the control room and arrowed over to her pupil's monitor. After observing the playback several times she asked,

"Did you get a directional fix?"

"No ma'am." Maya answered, "It was too brief..." She frowned.

"Send all the data to my console," Ritsuko ordered, and left the control room to study this mystery.

* * *

After several tests on the Eva, Shinji, Ritsuko, Misato, Maya, and Shigeru were riding a large platform down through one of the many large, nameless (to Shinji, atleast) chambers full of massive machinery and equipment. He stood, hands on the railing, thinking. Her eyes had turned orange, and Kensuke's camera had malfunctioned. Was it a coincidence? And if not, what did it mean? The others' conversation drifted past him,

"What's the status of Unit-00's armor?" Ritsuko was asking a female technician.

"There was some carbon scoring, but that was all. The shield held. It was pretty melted in places after it was all over, but Unit-00's armor sustained no damage." Ritsuko looked relieved.

"Well, our job's not going to get any easier any time soon; Unit-02 will be arriving from Germany soon."

Shigeru nodded, "...and disposing of those dead Angels cost a bundle."

"Yeah, this place is ridiculously underfinanced," chimed in Misato, "...especially since mankind's future rests on us."

"It can't be helped." stated Ritsuko. "Man cannot live by Eva alone. All those survivors need money to live too."

"Money, money, money!" Misato sighed. "So, is the commander off to another conference again?"

"Yes, he's en route now. Thank God for a little peace and quiet..." Ritsuko's sarcastic voice echoed in the chamber through which they were traversing.

_Unit-02. Asuka._ Was she a part of this like he and Rei...? She was a pilot as well. Were all Eva pilots a part of the resets? Touji had been an Eva pilot, but he didn't seem to remember anything. He sighed, uncertainty swirling around in his mind.


	7. Chapter 7: Asuka

Chapter 7

Shinji surveyed the newly cleaned apartment. Everything had been scrubbed until it shone, all dirt and garbage had been thrown away, and a general sense of order had been restored.

"It's efficient now," Rei proclaimed. She observed the time, noted that it was midday, and went to the small freezer. Bending down, she extracted a package, and Shinji's eyes goggled.

"I-instant??" He asked disbelievingly, seeing what she had in her hand, and the stack of the same packages in the freezer. She looked at him questioningly. When he didn't receive an answer, he took the package from her, put it back in the freezer, took her hand, and led her out the door.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"To the store, to get real food."

"But... this _is _real food," she argued.

"How could you say that??" He wondered briefly how the girl had managed to mimic Misato's lifestyle and have such logical reasons behind it.

"Pilot Ikari, the only reason I have these conversations with you is that, despite your illogical use of words, the underlying principles behind them are _usually _sound." He gulped slightly. He knew that she was slightly angry, because she had reverted to his formal name. She continued. "However, it's imperative that you learn how to properly communicate. You obviously lack even the most elementary principles of logic, and your discipline is almost nonexistent in certain areas. I _will _remedy this. Now try to explain your reasoning without the meaningless questions and rhetorical nonsense."

"O-okay, sorry about that," he sputtered as they stepped off the last flight of stairs and out onto the sidewalk and began walking towards the nearest store. He thought for a moment, then asked, "Why do you eat instant food?" He had an idea, but he wanted to be sure.

"It doesn't take long to prepare, and still provides the required nourishment." As she said it, she sensed the problem in her reasoning. Everything she had done was based on minimalistic thinking. Yet, what else could she do? There was only so much time in a day. She would study the changes Shinji was showing her, and then decide the optimal schedule.

"The better you eat, the better you will feel, and the better you will perform," he said.

"Careful study will be required to determine the precise truthfulness of that statement, but on the surface I can see the logic," she admitted.

* * *

She paid careful attention as he went through the store, and yet parts of the process escaped her. "Explain your selection criteria," she asked, watching him handle produce. He did so, showing her how to determine whether a certain vegetable was ripe or not.

"You don't eat meat, so I figure we'll start with vegetable soup," he said, as they finally made their way to the check-out. As the cashier rang everything up, his heart sank. _How am I going to pay for this? I totally forgot._ He was stunned when she extracted her NERV card and slid it through the reader.

He pointed, "What... you..." She turned her head to face him, her eyebrows drawing down. He shut his mouth with a click, and formulated a proper sentence. "I didn't know you could pay for things with your NERV card."

"I see," she said softly. She ticked things off on her fingers. "Ignorance of basic operating procedures, impulsively deciding to go shopping without considering how to pay for it, need I go on?"

He looked at his feet, not knowing what to say.

Her expression softened. "Don't feel bad, Shinji. I'm here to help." She took his hand, and he jumped slightly, then picked up the groceries with his other hand, and they started back towards her apartment. "We obviously need to start your training immediately, before you make a serious mistake during a critical operation."

Shinji was silent the entire trip back, wondering what she meant by that last statement.

* * *

Rei watched as he prepared the food, carefully following each step. She was satisfied to note that this part appeared to be relatively straightforward. It would be simple enough to copy what he had done. At last he took the lid off the pot and filled two bowls, giving one to her, and taking one for himself. They sat on the bed since she had no table. After allowing it to cool slightly, she began eating. The difference in taste startled her. She had grown completely used to the same frozen dinners month after month, not to mention how bland they were. She had no idea food could taste this good. After they had eaten and he had cleaned the dishes, he walked back into the main room and saw her lying on her bed, her eyes closed.

"I guess I'll see you later..." he started to say.

"Lie down here, Shinji. After we rest, we will begin your training."

"What... kind of training?" he asked hesitantly.

"We will start with gymnastics."

He carefully lay down, crossing his hands over his stomach and closing his eyes. He was slightly uncomfortable lying next to her like this. As his mind slowly calmed down, the last thought he had before slipping into unconsciousness was of him, Asuka, and Rei preparing to fight the ninth Angel. After breaking through the final grate to the Eva cages, he and Asuka had landed on the floor in a heap, while Rei had softly touched down, her arms outstretched, fully in control of herself. If it hadn't been for the stress of the situation, he could have figured out at the time that she knew gymnastics from seeing her pose as she had landed.

That day, they only had time to go over stretching and the basics of movement. The next day was a school day, but she extracted a pledge from him to return after school to continue their practice.

* * *

After going through the basics for the next few days, she had started him on flips and handstands. She had just finished instructing him on a back flip less than an hour ago, but he had yet to complete one. He had, however, come close. He felt slightly giddy, knowing that he almost had a handle on it. Feeling her hands lightly surrounding his body to steady him as he leaned back didn't help his state of mind. Or rather, it helped it in the wrong direction.

She sensed his nervousness. "Stay focused, Pilot Ikari, or you will cause yourself injury," she warned.

He concentrated, and leaned backwards, almost making it. He collapsed into a heap.

"Again," she said. He didn't do much better the next time. After ten more minutes of trying, however, he managed for the first time to land in a mostly upright position, his arms pinwheeling as he fought to keep his balance.

"I did it!" he exclaimed.

The corner of her mouth twitched. "That's good. Again."

His face fell, but he sighed and continued practicing. After another half hour, he could execute a back-flip pretty regularly.

"Okay," she said, finally stopping him. "Now try doing two of them in a row."

"What??" his eyes bulged.

"The difficulty is mostly in your mind. Just try," she insisted.

"O-kay..." He set himself up, mentally trying to drum up his courage. Finally he pushed off. He managed to execute the first flip well enough, but he felt himself slip on the second one.

She saw this and stepped forward hurriedly to try to stop him from falling. She managed to get hold of him, but they both fell in a heap, him on his back, and her almost cross-wise over him, holding his head to keep it from banging against the floor.

"Are you hurt?" she asked, looking down his body to make sure no limbs were bent the wrong way.

"No," he breathed. "I almost had it, too!" Her blue hair tickled his face, and he blushed slightly.

She set his head down, and then saw his blush. Her own cheeks went slightly pink. "Yes, you did well, but perhaps that's enough for today..."

He cut her off, leaning up and kissing her. She kissed him back. They finally drew apart.

"Thank you... for helping me with this, Rei," he stammered.

"I was perhaps a little too harsh with you earlier this week," she said. "We both have our failings, but fortunately they don't overlap. Thank _you_, Shinji. You have helped me as well."

* * *

"Shinji, you've been looking beat, lately. What's up?" Misato asked. The two of them eating supper as they usually did when their schedules permitted.

"Rei's been teaching me gymnastics," he said in answer.

"Wow, what brought _that_ on?" She never would have taken him to be interested in that kind of thing. Of course, taking up the interests of one's sweetheart was only natural, she decided.

"Well, it's kind of a long story. Did you know she eats instant just like you used to?"

"Hah. So there _is _a certain logic to what I do!" she crowed.

"You're not going to pull _that_ one on me," Shinji retorted. "You two did have a lot of similar habits, but your reasons and hers are totally different. And besides that, she's actually started to change her lifestyle."

Misato's eyebrow began twitching. "Hey, I've changed. A little."

Shinji smirked. "Yeah, you've mostly changed to doing the things I don't like only when I'm not around..." he dodged the balled up napkin she threw at him.

She crossed her arms and looked away. "I don't have to take this kind of abuse," she said snidely.

He simply smiled, and continued eating.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. _It is nice seeing him grow up and become more open._ She sighed. _I guess I'll have to follow suit..._

"Oh, hey, I almost forgot, remember not to go to school tomorrow. We've got to go pick up Unit-02."

_And Unit-02's pilot,_ Shinji thought glumly. _Oh well, we'll just have to see what happens. _Several minutes later he remembered something and took out his cell phone. "Is it okay if I call Touji and Kensuke and see if they can come along as well?" he asked.

"Sure!" she said, smiling. _Kensuke would probably stow away even if I said no... _she thought ruefully.

* * *

"Cool, cool, cool-COOL-COOL!!" Kensuke was obviously in heaven, waving his camera around trying to take in everything. "Totally awesome! This is way too cool! I'm so happy I wanna cry!" The crew members that he passed smiled knowingly. "Look at those dishes and antennas and guns and launch pads! Awe, cool, look at that over there..." He took off at a run, Touji trying to both follow him and catch his special cap at the same time.

"Hey, wait up! Get my hat! Stop, stop..." He wasn't going to lose that hat. Misato had specially complimented him about it.

A slightly apprehensive Shinji walked after them, in no hurry, knowing who he'd have to meet. Asuka had been an unpredictable fireball the first time around. Who knew how she'd be taking this? She was no fool. There had been ample time for her to figure out exactly what was happening. If she remembered waking on the beach with him, she would likely even figure out that he was also involved. A kind of chill passed through him. He had almost killed her at that time. _Let's hope she doesn't remember that part, _he thought with a shudder. He glanced around. _Well, __she hasn't taken her Eva and sunk the fleet for fun. That's good news, I guess... _Misato followed behind him, holding her neck and groaning. "Those hard helicopter seats are murder…" he heard her mutter.

Touji was still desperately chasing his hat. "Stop, damn you! That's my special hat! C'mon, stop it someone..." Touji yelled. The hat came to rest against a set of feet, one of which sent it flying back at him with a kick. "Wo...woah, hey!" After flailing several times, he caught it. "Oh! Thank you so much..."

As he blubbered on, Asuka decided she liked the groveling just as much as she'd enjoyed the byplay they'd had the first time around. She turned to glare at Shinji. "I'll never forgive you for what happened, you know," she said, her hands on her hips.

"Wh-what?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, idiot-Shinji! And you'd better have figured out a way to save my poor Unit-02! You were supposed to be my backup, but I was all alone out there, and then all these evil white things came, and I ran out of power..."

So she did remember. His confusion began to be tinged with a little annoyance for how little disregard she had for how she sounded to those not caught in the repeating events. "I know how to solve that problem. Just have your Eva eat an Angel's S2 engine..." he said sarcastically.

The round teardrops hanging beneath her eyes disappeared as her face flared with anger, "...rrrr, I'LL KILL HIM!!" she lunged at Shinji, arms flailing, only to get caught up on Touji, who tried to hold her back. "Don't touch me there, you dolt!" SLAPSLAPSLAP

Shinji sighed inwardly. _I'd feel a little safer around this psycho if Ayanami was here..._

* * *

Back in NERV HQ, within the room of Gauf, inside the LCL-filled tank used for the dummy-plug experiments, Rei sneezed, causing her monitor readings to gibber slightly before settling down again. A slight stream of bubbles came from her nose.

* * *

"...ouch! What was that for?" Touji complained.

"That was the handling fee! You got a pretty good deal, I'd say!"

"It's overpriced." Touji snorted angrily, "...but that's alright; here's your change! Hah!" he said, pulling his pants down and mooning her.

Shinji assumed from her surprised and disgusted look that she'd forgotten that Touji would do that. He looked on, amused, as Asuka slapped him again, ranting in German. Kensuke winced, and Misato just watched in shock, her mouth hanging open,

"You two know each other??" she managed to ask.

Shinji sighed. "Oh, I wouldn't quite put it that way..."

* * *

"...guarding a toy..." the Admiral's voice shook with fury. "What a ridiculously grandiose assignment for the entire Pacific fleet!"

"It's still not enough." Misato's voice cut through the Admiral's griping. "Not when you consider the importance of the Eva. Sign these transfer documents, please." she said, her voice, though courteous, gave the clear indication that it was not really a request.

"Not yet!" snarled the Admiral. Misato's right eye began twitching. "Eva Unit-02 and its pilot have been entrusted to us by the Third Branch in Germany. You're not just going to waltz in and do as you please _Cap_-tain Katsuragi." Her eyebrows lowered slightly.

"When will you transfer them to us?"

"Once we've unloaded in New Yokosuka." The Admiral's Aide cut in.

"The ocean is our jurisdiction." the Admiral rumbled, confident he'd put the upstarts in their place enough for now. "You will follow our orders here."

"I understand." Misato said, closing her notebook with a snap. Touji stared at Misato's face dreamily. "However, I should remind you that in an emergency, NERV's military authority overrides your own!"

"She's awesome..." Touji breathed.

"Well, you're as confident as always!" the lackadaisical voice came from the entry port to the bridge.

Asuka turned at the sound, blushing as much as she could and waving, "Ka-jiiii!"

Leaning against the hatchway's frame, he held up a hand in greeting, much to Misato's shock.

"Mr. Kaji," the Admiral ground out, "I insist that you stop inviting yourself onto the bridge!" Misato's face slowly fell.

"Oh, sorry about that," Kaji commented offhandedly to the Admiral.

* * *

As they left, they heard the Admiral continuing to complain to his aide.

"Damn! Those children are mankind's salvation??" His aide grimaced, answering,

"I suppose the times are changing sir. I understand that Congress has pinned its hopes on that robot as well."

The Admiral turned his chair to look out the view port.

"On that child's play-thing? What idiots! If they've got the money to blow on that, they oughta give us a little more!"

* * *

The six of them sat around a mess-hall table eating.

"So," Kaji spoke to Shinji, an evil gleam in his eye, "I understand you're living with Katsuragi?"

"Ah, yes sir." Shinji said, feeling a little bad for Misato.

"Tell me something." He said, his arms leaning against the tea table they were all sitting at, "Is she still so... wild in bed?"

"Wha-a-at??" Several dishes were knocked over, Kensuke and Touji looked at Misato in horror, and Misato was giving Kaji a look that would probably have killed an Angel. Kaji of course ignored this and fixed her with a smile. Standing up so quickly her chair rocked back momentarily, she slammed both palms down on the table, toppling what crockware was left on it, her face beet red.

"wh.. wh-WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING BY THAT!!"

"You know," Shinji said aside to Asuka, "I'm surprised that under the circumstances we're in, you haven't used the time to try different methods of seducing Kaji."

"No, you haven't changed at all." Kaji said to Misato with a satisfied smile, as Misato slumped back into her chair and put her head on the table with a moan. He got up and slid his chair back as Asuka answered Shinji, round teardrops bouncing beneath her eyes,

"...oh, I'm afraid he has eyes for no one but Misato. I've almost given up all hope..."

"Wel-l..." Kaji said, "I'll see you later."

"It's a bad dream," Misato was mumbling rapidly, her face ashen, "I-It's a nightmare!"

* * *

Shinji looked at Asuka out of the corner of his eye, the both of them leaning on the railing of one of the deserted spots on the supercarrier. She seemed almost morose. She had kept most of the temper that he remembered, but the inner fire seemed to be somewhat dampened. "I've never known you to give up so easily," he said, referring to her continuing failure to hook Kaji despite the opportunity of the resets.

"Third-child!" she said with disgust, but without much anger. Her voice dropped, a note of weariness entering her speech. "You don't know anything about me. What I went through before all this started; what I went through in that last battle..." If she closed her eyes, she could still feel her Eva being torn apart around her. And along with it, her life. Her happiness at sensing her mother had mixed with the grief of knowing that Shinji would again have to rescue her, and the pain she had experienced through her connection with the Eva. But Shinji had never come.

"I... didn't mean..." he had no idea what to say. Her anger he could deal with, but he had never seen her like this.

"Mein gott, Why am I even telling you this? I'm starting to sound like you!" he heard the pat of her feet on the deck as she ran off.

_we've all changed, _Shinji thought gloomily, considering the battle to come. It came sooner than he thought, and so entranced was he in his thoughts, that he did not even notice until it was almost too late. The first time through, she had dragged him to see her Eva, and then had forced him to pilot with her so that she could show off. Perhaps on a subconscious level he still expected everything to be much the same, and so his brain was on autopilot, waiting for her to do her part. The first warning he had that something was happening was a patrol boat blowing up to his right, the two halves sinking almost at once. As he turned towards the disturbance, he saw the tail end of the long ripple that represented the Angel's course through the water. As it clicked in his mind what was happening, he heard a horrible crunching sound that could only be Unit-02's armored bulk coming in for a landing on an ill-prepared destroyer.

* * *

Unit-02 was balanced on the deck of the supercarrier, the Admiral in shock, having watched the Angel and the Eva lay waste to his fleet. Shinji had just made it to the bridge. S_he's fighting alone this time..._

The Angel broached the water, intending to swallow the Eva whole. Asuka jumped straight at it, entering its open mouth. The Angel plopped back into the water, happy with its apparent success. Shinji and Misato watched in horror as the power cable played out, moving across the deck, first one way, then the other.

"Asuka, what are you doing?" Misato yelled into the microphone, "You can't fight underwater in B-type equipment!"

There was only silence from the comm.

_Did she really commit suicide? _Shinji wondered. Several seconds later, the cable stopped playing out, and began retracting. Misato gasped, and they both strained to see what was happening. Even the Admiral was curious, hopeful that somewhere in all this mess was something that would help him during the inevitable court-martial. The Angel rose slowly out from underwater like a submarine, water rushing off its sides.

"Wh-what's it doing?" Shinji asked, as it lay bobbing there. As they watched, a small portion of the upper surface of the Angel's head rippled. It rippled again, then a red fist shot through.

"Yeah! She killed it!" Misato yelled, pumping her own fist into the air. The entire head began to separate from the rest of the body with all manner of horrible sucking noises, and Unit-02 pulled itself up onto the carrier deck to shut itself off.

Misato saw that Asuka obviously wasn't in the mood to give her a briefing, but she managed to drag a few sentences from the girl before letting her go.

"I cut it's head off from the inside. It took a while. I broke both prog-knives when I reached the backbone."

In the end, Misato and Shinji were left looking at each other, question marks hanging between them.

* * *

"...well," Kensuke said, as they sat around waiting for class to start, "atleast we won't have to see her again."

"Yeah. But Mr. Bigshot here has to go work with her every day." Touji said with a laugh. "I feel sorry for him."

Shinji just smiled and walked away, heading for his seat by Rei. He saw the welcome in her red eyes, even while the rest of her face remained impassive. Behind him he heard the horror-film gasps of his two friends as they first noticed Asuka writing her name on the blackboard.


	8. Chapter 8: Asuka makes a change

Chapter 8

Asuka lay on the hotel room bed, her hands behind her head, thinking back on the battle earlier in the day. It had been exhilarating to finally be back piloting the Eva in an actual battle. She had been slightly apprehensive ever since that last devastating battle with the horrible white… they were definitely Evas. They were too regular to be Angels. All of them were the same, a trait the Angels did not share. The Angels had been so diverse that each one might have been an entirely new species. Evas they were, and thus man-made. It was extremely disturbing that somewhere in the higher-ups that had helped create Eva, there was a… group… that would eventually turn on them.

She pushed aside those thoughts. What she _did _know was that she was going to take Shinji's advice, and then she was going to personally tear out the throat of as many of those white Evas as she could get her Unit-02's hands on. Shinji. She had puzzled around for a while trying to find out exactly what was causing things to repeat, seemingly at random. It was quite clear now that Shinji had some kind of major role. It should have been obvious. She had felt… something… as her Eva was dying around her, and then she had a hazy memory of awakening to him choking her.

He had seemed awfully confident and smug when she had confronted him on the carrier. _Well, confident for Shinji, anyway,_ she corrected herself. He had actually talked back to her! The boy was probably half-hysterical, and running on adrenaline. _His _Eva had an S2 engine, during that battle before Third Impact. Why the hell hadn't he destroyed all the white Evas? She had proved that it could potentially be done. What had he been thinking? The last thing she had heard had been his scream. She grimaced. Screaming seemed to be something he did whenever he went into battle.

Still, if he now had some measure of control over what was happening, what did that say? Had he made the right decision after all? Maybe if he had killed them all then, the next battle would simply have been with more of them, and they would have been better armed. No, he could not have known what he was doing, she decided. _Even a stopped clock is right twice a day,_ she thought, as she closed her eyes to go to sleep.

* * *

A piece of toast hung from Shinji's mouth as he rushed around the kitchen finishing making his lunch. A tired eye peeked out from around the refrigerator door as he went by. Penpen was slightly amused at the troubles he had seen the boy go through to woo his mate. Potential mate, the penguin corrected himself. He was, after all, smart enough to discern the subtle difference. He pulled the door shut again. Whatever the case, it was far too early in the morning to get up. He did not entertain the hope that the boy would feed him. It was Misato's turn, and while the boy had sometimes picked up the slack and done a few of her chores, the penguin knew that this would not be one of those times.

As Shinji slipped on his shoes, he glanced at the door to Misato's room. He hadn't woken her with his preparation, which was just as well. She liked her sleep. He was really starting to enjoy the friendship that was growing between them, but this morning he didn't have time for the usual byplay.

As he walked along the deserted streets, the early morning light filtering between the many buildings reaching skyward, his old fears began to reassert themselves. He had spent a couple of mornings discovering Rei's schedule for walking to school. Of course, it was like clockwork, every day at the same time. He could have walked with her then, but he couldn't muster the nerve. Even now, his feet desperately wanted to turn and run for the safety of home, or the anonymity that school represented. _Why am I making this into such a big thing?_ Hadn't he already developed a friendship with her?

He decided that it was her sometimes-strange changes of mood that got to him. He had kissed her, yet sometimes he felt he didn't even know her. He sighed. She was a clone, and his father had personally overseen her conditioning and training. Emotion was new to her. What did he expect, that she would instantly be able to handle it? He closed his eyes, marshalling what courage he had.

_mustn't run away..._

He smiled at that remembered saying. He had more courage now that he'd ever had, little though it was. When he opened his eyes again, he saw the familiar blue-haired head rise into view as Rei walked up one of the many dips in the long, undulating sidewalk paralleling the endless rows of low-income, cookie-cutter apartments on this side of Tokyo-3. He waited, anticipation and trepidation warring within him as she continued walking, and stopped before him.

"Shinji." She said in greeting.

"I-I'll walk with you to school, if you want..." He managed to get out, mentally berating himself for his stupidity, his lack of courage, his sudden inability to be articulate, and whatever else he was forgetting.

"That would be acceptable." She said, and began walking again. Shinji stood stunned for a moment, then had to run to catch up to her.

"R-really?" He asked.

"Yes. Really." Her lips barely moved, but he saw the smile continue up her cheeks to her eyes. He blushed slightly.

"U-um, what's funny?" he asked.

"I have observed that whenever we are together, you show symptoms of panic."

"You... noticed that? I mean, no! or..." he tried desperately to unclinch his left hand, which, contrary to his orders, was becoming even tighter. Her smile grew as she watched his discomfort.

"It's perfectly understandable, Shinji." she said, her voice impassive as always, despite her facial expression. "Relationships can be very stressful."

"R-r-relationships??" his hair began to frazzle as his panic worsened. "What do you know about that??" As far as he knew, she did nothing but pilot Eva and go to school. (And do gymnastics, his mind gibbered.) Seconds later, he winced and slapped himself inwardly, cursing himself for how mean that question sounded. Fortunately, Rei took it literally, as usual.

"I've been reading books."

That, he supposed, would explain some things. It was also kind of scary. That could be good or bad, depending on what books she'd been reading.

"...although I confess..." she continued, "curiosity would require that I continue to experiment with you even if I didn't like you."

He sweat-dropped, completely at a loss for how to continue. Several minutes later he managed to squeak out, "...but you do like me..."

"Yes." she said, reaching over and intertwining her fingers through his as they walked. He gibbered for a moment before regaining control of himself. Her smile increased ever so slightly.

"You're cute when you panic."

He shuddered. Oh well, things could always be worse...

* * *

"Asuka's not in school today." Rei heard Shinji whisper in her ear from behind her. They both sat in their desks, waiting along with the rest of class for the professor to gather his thoughts (and notes) and begin the lesson. She felt a slight amusement at the fact he had just stated. He (and she presumed other people were similar) had a tendency to suddenly blurt out an obvious fact for no apparent reason. At first she had tried to stop him from engaging in such fruitless wastes of time, but when that had proven impossible, she had tried to puzzle out the reasons he did it. She had come to the conclusion that the human mind, when presented with a problem it could not identify or solve, would start sorting through known facts, trying to piece them together into a different way and maybe discover something new. It was almost like a game. She had long since learned better than to try to figure out the problem through questioning him. That only caused him to become defensive and clam up. Plus, actually taking part in the game might help her understand him better.

She thought for a short while, finally coming up with a good fact that tied into the one he had mentioned. "The seventh Angel attacks today," she said out of the corner of her mouth, hoping that particular fact helped him.

_Assuming it keeps to the schedule,_ he thought. But so far the other Angels had attacked at the same times they had attacked in the original time-line. Could she be already at NERV preparing for the attack? She had wanted to battle alone the last time they had fought this Angel. Perhaps she thought that if she was already there when it attacked, Misato would go ahead and send her out instead of waiting for him to get the alert signal and make his own way to NERV.

This was all well and good if she defeated it, but what if it killed her? She had improved, but had she improved enough to beat this notoriously difficult Angel single-handedly?

* * *

They got the alert at the expected time that day, and made their way to NERV. They were surprised to find that Asuka was not there. Confused thoughts tumbled through Shinji's mind as Misato bundled them both on board their Evas, and had them walk out to the main Tokyo-3 airport, where two massive flying-wind Eva-carriers waited to quickly ferry them to the edge of the city. Where was Asuka? Had something happened to her? If that was the case, he needed to find some way to reset things, and give her a chance to… do what?

He wished he knew what was going on. He had no doubt that he and Rei could synch well and beat this Angel. He had marveled the first time through how well they had been able to synchronize their movements in that silly dance game Misato had bought. But the only way to reset things that he could think of was to get himself killed. Maybe he should throw the fight…

* * *

Shinji sat in the entry plug of his Eva unit brooding. The slight turbulence that shook the giant flying-wing that transported his Eva never made it to him. Misato's voice played through invisible speakers, giving him instructions, but he didn't hear them.

He felt turbulence now. The transport had dropped his Eva and he was in free-fall. At the appropriate time, his body braced for impact, and Eva landed safely, sliding to a halt. Both his Eva and the other stayed in a crouched position, waiting as the ground transports with the power-cable plug-ins pulled up. After accepting the plugs, they then both stood up straight, now externally powered.

Rei knew that something was wrong, since Shinji had failed to respond or acknowledge any of the briefing. She paused momentarily, waiting for him to do something, anything. They could not afford to wait long against this enemy, and so she did something she had never done before.

"Follow my lead, Pilot Ikari."

These words jarred him, and he looked over. Better her than him, he thought. He knew that he was in no mental state to take the lead in this fight. "Right," he answered. He should have been happy to be fighting by Rei's side. He synchronized with her far better than he did with Asuka. So why did it gnaw at him?

The three of them stood still, Angel and Eva and Eva. The Angel moved. Ayanami moved, and Shinji moved. They danced. They fought. They moved in perfect synchrony, dodging the Angel's cross-shaped energy blasts when necessary, firing back and engaging in hand-to-hand where possible. Among the ruined buildings at the edge of Tokyo-3, the three combatants whirled into more intricate patterns, and at some point Rei was forced into leaving an opening because of the encumbrance of the power cables. Her cable was severed, and thus, so was Shinji's, his movements still mirroring hers.

Rei did not spare any attention to glance at the red numbers that counted down. Truth be told, she had not expected to still be in command. She had said the words simply because it was the only option at the time. Shinji still had not retaken control. It was, she considered, sadly logical. He had followed her plans up to this point, and perhaps did not see an opening to retake command. Perhaps she had not been observant enough to include that in her dance, and so left him no option to take command.

She had, in fact, given him ample opportunity to retake command. He saw immediately that her dance had been defensive, and she had merely been waiting for him to do so. The moment the power cables had been severed, however, she had been forced to change her movements. He still could have taken command and perhaps won, but he had no faith in himself at that moment, nor had he had any faith in himself at any other time in the fight. Too afraid that he would ruin the choreography, and Rei would be unable to follow his lead, he followed hers.

Her options narrowed, and again she chose because she had to do so. There was nothing left to lose anyway, if events continued repeating themselves. But she could not plan on that, and so decided. She didn't know how much time she had left, and didn't bother to look. If she did, she might miss an opportunity. An opening flashed, and she took it. The prog-knife left her hand and arrowed straight at the Angel's heart. Beside it travelled a second one, and she breathed a sigh of relief as a massive plume of orange energy ballooned upward, then outward, enveloping them as both parts of the Angel self-immolated.

Shinji stood, drawing a deep breath in surprise and relief. He had not expected to do so well. It had been nothing like the original fight. In that one, everything had been carefully choreographed and programmed into the Evas before the battle. In this one, not only had he been forced to follow Rei's movements precisely, but he had needed to directly put the Eva through its paces. All the complex movements had been preprogrammed in the original battle. He knew that without the gymnastics exercises they had been doing together, he would have fumbled the operation, and likely gotten them both wounded or killed.

"Alright!" Misato yelled over the cheers in the control room. "Good job, you two!"

"They work well together." He heard Ritsuko say to her in the background.

"Stand down from First Stage Alert." He heard Fuyutski say as his Eva powered down to minimal activity gain mode, waiting for the power trucks with the spare umbilical cables.

* * *

"Ooh, it wasn't supposed to be like this..." Asuka moaned.  
Shinji smiled slightly as he carried a stack of boxes into the apartment. _I can't believe she actually ran from that battle. It's so unlike her._ He had been floored when he had discovered her plan. She had avoided the battle so she wouldn't have to live with him and Misato. _Am I really that bad?_ he wondered briefly. He pushed the depressing thought aside. After all, hadn't he himself almost decided not to live with Misato? Maybe living alone would be good for her.

He wished he knew the full circumstances of why she had gotten so depressed in the original time-line. He was afraid to ask her, wondering if she'd go ballistic, or just refuse to talk to him any more. Like it or not, she was someone he had to work with every day, and it wouldn't do to get on her bad side. Plus, she was also in the resets, which made it all the more important for him to not do anything to antagonize her.

_These apartments must be on the worst side of town..._ Asuka thought gloomily, looking down row after row of cookie-cutter apartment complexes.

"Well, just where did you expect to stay?" Misato asked, seeing the girl's disappointment. Housing is at a premium here, you know." She grinned cheerfully, lugging one of the many boxes into the slightly dirty but empty apartment. "You should just be glad you have good friends who'll help you move! Our budget's not unlimited, ya'know..." she commented, humming a nameless tune as she went for another box.  
_H__mph. Well, I guess it's better than the embarrassment I went through last time,_ thought Asuka.

* * *

As he lay in his bed, listening to his SDAT, Shinji tried to piece together his confusing emotions. _Do I still have feelings for Asuka?_ He felt like he was betraying Ayanami even asking himself that question. But why had he worried so much when she had gone missing? He had almost been willing to commit suicide for her. He sighed. To be fair, it wasn't really suicide, since he would still be alive. For a moment, though, he had felt that he would be unable to go on if she had been really dead. Why, when she had always been so mean to him? Actually, that wasn't true. She had always criticized him for being spineless and weak, but then again, even Ayanami had been slightly critical of him, now that they were close enough friends that she began to see his quirks. But Rei seemed to like him in spite of his faults. He closed his eyes as his confused thoughts chased each other until he finally fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9: But who gets to kill Shinji?

Chapter 9

The boy was slightly addled, PenPen was sure of it. He peeked around the corner of the open refrigerator door, watching Shinji as he went about his new routine. He had been getting up earlier every day now. What potential mate would be worth this trouble? Then again, knowing the boy's reclusiveness, this was probably his first one. PenPen squawked in laughter to himself. The first one was always doted upon. He was about to close the door and go back to sleep, when it dawned on him that it was the boy's turn to feed him. _Well, I don't care how attractive she is, no potential mate of his is going to interfere with…_ he heard a plop, and shot his head back around the corner. Bless the boy, he'd remembered after all! He waddled around the corner and gave a 'Wawk!' of thanks.

On the way out to take out the garbage, Shinji bent down and stroked the penguin's shiny skin. "You didn't think I'd forget you, did you?"

PenPen very delicately lifted his fins, mimicking a shrug.

"Oh, I'm hurt!" Shinji said in mock horror. "If a even a penguin doesn't feel he can trust you, what does that say?"

PenPen squawked laughter as he turned to go, then suddenly he whipped around to glare at him, as if to say _What do you mean, 'even a penguin?'_

It took Shinji a moment, but he got this. He stood with a smile, scratching the back of his head. "So you caught that, huh? You know, you're too smart for your own good…"

_And you're too love smitten for _your_ own good, _PenPen thought, but he doubted he'd be able to articulate such a complex idea with gestures. He settled for lifting a fin and mimicking Misato's familiar "Go, go…" gesture, as he turned to eat his meal.

_Hah, I must be cracking up. I'm trading gibes with a semi sentient penguin and enjoying it, _he thought as he finished taking out the trash. As he came back in and finished making breakfast, Misato's door slowly slid open.

"Whuzzat?" she asked muzzily, sniffing at the sharp smell of the cooked sausages. She drifted over to the table and slumped into her chair before her plate of food. She looked around, confused. _Somethin's missing…_ she thought, but she just couldn't remember.

_Wow, she must've smelled the food and it threw her off her Yebisu routine, I've gotta act fast…_ He took the cup of coffee that he had been preparing for himself, and snuck over and slipped it into her hand, wrapping her fingers around it. He watched with some humor as her drinking reflexes kicked in and she chugged the entire cup.

She slammed the cup back down on the table, and the looked around in surprise, blinking her eyes. "Huh, I'm awake now, but where's the damn kick?" She looked down at the coffee cup in her hand, and the food on her plate. "Hey! That was a dirty trick!" she said, turning in Shinji's direction, but the boy busied himself fixing his own plate, and acted like he didn't know what was going on. She reluctantly began eating. "You know that once food is in front of me I don't like to get back up…" she muttered around a mouthful. "Say, could you get me a…"

"Oh, I'm sorry Misato, I just sat down." He wiped his brow. "Whew, I've been on my feet all morning, and…"

"Oh, give it a rest," she complained, "Your guilt trip is working, I won't ask."

"Well, _that's_ good. You know those things'll eventually catch up with you, right?"

She sighed. Maybe it _was_ time to cut back a little. With a start she had found that she'd been drinking less anyway. She mentally searched back, looking for the reason. _Our battles against the Angels have been going well. Shinji's happy. _I'm_ happy, _she realized. "Maybe you're right…" she said with a sigh. "So what _are_ you doing up so early, besides messing with my schedule and tricking me into cutting back?" She paused, her eyes narrowing. "Wait, this has something to do with Rei, doesn't it?" She sure as hell wasn't going to pass up teasing him, if he was going to successfully get her to drink less.

Shinji smiled, finished eating, and put his hands together in the traditional gesture of respect and thanks. "Well, my work here is done. I'm off!" he said, getting up and waving over his shoulder in a way that reminded her of Kaji, for some reason.

"Hey! You never answered me! You know that's an answer in itself, right?" she yelled after him.

He sighed, deciding to let her have her fun. She'd agreed to drink less, after all. "Yes, I've been walking her to school," he said, looking back over his shoulder with a rueful grin.

"Aww," Misato crooned, clasping her hands and turning her head to the side dreamily, "That's so sweet!"

* * *

Asuka moped around her apartment, finally slumping down into a chair. _Hoh, it wasn't supposed to be like this…_ She really hadn't thought this part out very well. She had assumed she would be in a better part of town, but NERV had dumped her out here in this bunch of low-income apartment complexes. Most of them were still empty, and it was obvious why. The people moving here were snapping up all the expensive and better-looking ones first. It wasn't until the lower-income people began moving en-masse that these apartments would be filled. Her stomach growled, and she wished it wasn't so far to the nearest store. She jumped when she heard an unfamiliar buzz. _Oh, that must be the door buzzer, I guess._ She got up, wondering who even knew she was out here in this desolate section of Tokyo-3. She slid open the door, and then jumped slightly.

"Ayanami??" she was so shocked, she referred to her by name. _That's right, didn't Shinji mention she lived around here somewhere?_

The girl actually smiled slightly. "I have brought you food, if you need it. Perhaps we can… talk?" She was slightly uncomfortable doing this, but it was necessary. Asuka, too, was a part of the resets, and every effort had to be made to exchange information.

Asuka snatched the instant-breakfast package out of her hands, feeling a mixture of gratitude and disgust. _Do I really have to eat this?_ Well, it was either that or go hungry until lunch. _School lunch,_ she thought with a sigh. Shinji was no longer around to make her lunch. Truth be told, she _had_ enjoyed his cooking, even if she never thanked him for it. "Th-thanks… First." It was hard enough to say the words, but once they were out, she got a perverse joy from it. Then to her horror, she saw Shinji peek out around from Ayanami's back.

"Did I just hear you correctly?" he asked, smiling, as his arms encircled Ayanami's waist from behind.

She saw Rei jump slightly, look to the side, and then turn pink. Then the girl actually smiled! …and covered his arms with her own. Asuka stood, aghast, almost dropping the package of food.

"You have time to heat that up before we leave for school," he said, pointing to her food. "We'll wait."

She turned numbly and went to heat it up in her microwave, trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

"Oooh, no one in maintenance ever answers my calls! I've tried to get them to come fix the broken lights so many times I've already memorized the number!" moaned Asuka, as she trudged several steps behind Shinji and Rei. "The roof leaks, the water takes forever to get hot, and it's sooo far to walk to school. My feet hurt..." She looked up, and saw Rei take Shinji's hand and lay her head on his shoulder as they walked. She held up her arms around her head, her eyes bulging in surprise and horror.

"Gyaahhh! And you two desperately need a chaperone!" she said, worming her way in between them and prying them apart. Shinji just looked at her with his usual confusion; Rei's face was impassive as always. "Oh, what is it now, you two??"

"You know, with the way you throw yourself at Kaji, you're not really one to talk..." Shinji said matter-of-factly.

"I'm going through a crisis here, there's things going on none of us can explain, and all you two can do is fawn over each other!" Asuka wailed. _How could he like that doll, anyway?_ Her inner self sniffed. They must've used the time together while she was stuck in Germany. And the more things reset, the worse it would… What the hell was she thinking about? _Why do I even care about this?_ She shoved the thoughts angrily from her mind.

Shinji paused, then shrugged. "Well, if _you've_ got some idea that will get us out of this, let's hear it."

_hmph, always expecting me to do all the work... _"How should I know!? But atleast we could get some money and live better than we're living now!"

"W-what? How do we do that?" Shinji asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Are you totally stupid? Let's go win the lottery or something!"

"Oh." he paused, _that could work_, he thought. Then he frowned slightly, "...but it just doesn't seem right..."

_Hoh!... stupid Shinji and his stupid morals..._  
"Look." she said, angrily, "If you don't like it, we can, I don't know... donate what we don't use back to charity or something when this is all over! Until we get out of this, it won't even matter!"

"Well, I guess so, but..."

"No buts!"

* * *

"All right!" said Asuka, with relish, "You'd better be able to memorize that, Third Child!"

Shinji stared at the newspaper.

"Y-yeah, sure. It's just a string of numbers..."

"You'll thank me for this, First Child!" She said, turning to Rei with a triumphant smile.

"No. I won't." Rei said, impassive.

Asuka's eyebrow developed a tick. "Well, atleast you'll enjoy the comfort..."

"Probably not." Rei looked at her steadily.

"Oh, why do I bother?? Whether you thank me or enjoy it, you'll be living better!" she snapped at the infuriating girl.

"That's true." the girl said. She paused, then asked, "...tell me, is there any real reason I should leave my currently acceptable living environment?"

_sometimes she's just like Shinji,_ she thought, with an infuriated sigh. "You know, we're all in this together." _why do I have to be the one to say this type of thing?_ she wailed inwardly. "We should live closer together so we can have more time to plan things better." _she's probably still going to refuse..._ thought Asuka. She grimaced inwardly, and played her trump card. "You know," she said, putting on a sweet smile, "with the kind of money we'll have, we can effectively evict the people from the apartment beside Misato's. You'll be nearer to Shinji..." she saw the girl's red eyes widen slightly.

"Fine." Rei said.

* * *

The small group walked down the street back towards school eating fast food they had picked up at a shop they had passed. They had spent the lunch hour tracking down the proper newspaper for their purposes.

"Well, there's only one more thing to do." Asuka said happily. "Kill Shinji!"

"WHA-AT?" Shinji spewed the tea he'd been drinking.

"Well, how else are we going to restart the loop?" snapped Asuka.

"No one kills Shinji but me." Rei said calmly, continuing to eat her instant ramen.

"Would you two stop saying that!" he said, hysterical, his eyes bugging out, "No one's killing Shinji!"

"I refuse to wait for Third Impact to start living the good life!" Asuka yelled.

"L-look, I'll just lose to the next Angel, or something... Things restarted when the third Angel defeated me..."

"Idiot! The next Angel's the lava Angel, and Misato's going to order me to fight it!"

"I'll think of something!" Shinji said quickly.

"You'd better..." she muttered.

* * *

The rest of the school day passed without incident, and Asuka was trudging home, having been to the store to purchase food. She was thinking gloomy thoughts of how much longer she'd have to endure this situation, when everything suddenly went black.

"Um, what are we doing here?" asked Shinji. Below them floated an orange earth dotted with small white crosses.

"What?? You mean it's not your fault?" ranted Asuka.

Shinji turned to look as her, frowning.

"Oh, don't give me that look." she huffed. "You take everything so personally. I don't know what happened, I was on the way home from shopping." She paused momentarily. "Wait, if you didn't do this, who's God this time?" She had assumed that Shinji was in control. But if he wasn't, who was? Maybe she herself could gain control of this fantastic resource. She smiled inwardly.

"I caused this." a soft voice said. The two turned to face Rei.

"You?? How?" Asuka and Shinji said in unison, perhaps reverting to some of their training for the twin Angel.

"I'm not completely sure." Rei said slowly. "I finished my work for NERV on the dummy plug experiment late in the evening, and then I remembered something from the first time. I merged with Lilith and caused Third Impact."

Asuka shivered. "Yeeee... First Child being all-powerful. This can't be good."

"But I thought you wanted to quickly reset…" the girl began to explain her reasoning.

"Hmmm..." Shinji closed his eyes in thought. He had been the one in control during the original Third Impact. Had he caused this time loop somehow? Or perhaps merely allowed it to occur? He thought back to the beach, and how he had awoken…

* * *

"Oww, my head!" Asuka picked herself up slowly to a sitting position on the beach lit by the orange ocean. "Wha-at?"

"Nope!" Shinji said, happily. "I'm still God!" The thought that he was in control of all this brought surprise, exhilaration, and fear all at the same time. This was… too big a responsibility for one person. But what could he do? It looked like he was stuck with it.

"Make some sense or I'm gonna clobber you, Third Child!" Asuka threatened, brandishing her fist (the one that wasn't holding her head).

"Hey," he said, holding up his hands trying to placate her, "I don't what's going on any more than you do!"

"It appears that Pilot Ikari retains control no matter who or what initiates Third Impact," reasoned Ayanami.

"Oooh, of all the luck." moaned Asuka. "Well the least you could've done is brought us back without a headache..."

"I didn't hear any complaints last time." Shinji said, closing his eyes.

"That's because you were strangling me, Idiot!" yelled Asuka.

"...oh, heh, oops, I forgot..." Shinji said, trying not to smile.

"rrrr, why you..." Asuka lunged for him, but was held back by Rei, her eyes glowing a soft orange, her strength reinforced enough to be able to hold her back with one hand.

"Hey! Unhand me, you witch!" she looked down at Rei's hand on her forearm and saw the shimmer. "I-is that an AT field??"

"Yes." Rei's soft voice was firm, a slight anger showing in her face.

"Oh, never mind." she said, relaxing. The fight seemed to go out of her eyes. "Things are too strange for me to care if Ayanami's an Angel." Rei's eyes went back to a dull red as she let go of Asuka's arm.  
W_ow, she really is stressed out..._ mused Shinji. _she referred to Ayanami by name._ He caught himself staring at her loose red hair as it reflected the orange light from the setting sun. He looked away, feeling embarrassed.

"What are we still doing here, anyway?" Asuka asked, more subdued. "Did it take this long to restart last time?" She asked Shinji.

Shinji scratched the back of his head. "I don't know. You're right, we should've restarted by now, I think..." The last time he had been here was when he had lost to the third Angel. He had still been extremely confused, then, and… he seemed to remember his mother comforting him. But he had definitely lay here, and then found himself back on earth moments later. So what _was_ taking so long?

"Oh well," sighed Asuka, hugging her legs. "Maybe..." she was interrupted by a primal Eva scream and two huge yellow wings unfolding in the distance.


	10. Chapter 10: Rei loses her mind

Chapter 10

Shinji set the phone receiver down before it finished dialing. He looked around for a moment, settling himself, then sat down cross-legged to wait for Misato. Things were more fluid than he had thought. So, probably if anything killed him, or even if anything or anyone initiated Third Impact, he'd be given a chance to return to this point. He smiled briefly, thinking about how boring things could get if this kept up. Still, he'd have a chance unique (he supposed) to human history. He could perfectly fine-tune his life. Of course, he'd have to befriend Misato again, and… Something tugged at the back of his mind.

He closed his eyes in thought, feeling the rhythmic thump from the pavement up through his body. That would be the Angel, running... His eyes snapped open. The Angel had never run. It had only walked. He got up and was just turning to face the mountain around which the Angel would emerge when he heard a massive thud behind him. He whirled around to see the Angel lying on its back several dozen blocks away. He stood frozen, trying to figure out what was going on. He heard the running again. The Angel was just beginning to raise itself when a massive form slammed its foot into the Angel's chest.

"Unit-00," Shinji breathed. How was this possible? Rei should be in the hospital right now, recuperating from injuries sustained from her failed activation attempt. He hoped she had not somehow insisted on reactivating her Eva just to see if she could do it… He wouldn't put it past her. The girl was driven, that was for sure.

The Eva expertly flipped its prog-knife so that the blade now extended out the bottom of its fist as it knelt, and in one motion slammed the knife into the Angel's heart. She didn't move her Eva like someone who was injured. She moved better than he did, in fact. He had a higher synch ratio, but he well knew her physical stamina and grace. She practiced gymnastics and who knew what else. And she was, atleast technically, an Angel herself. He grinned, remembering the AT-field she'd used on Asuka. But of course he'd seen the clues that she was an Angel even back during Third Impact, when she'd appeared to him as a giant white figure and given him… control? The memories were still slightly confusing, but he was beginning to make sense of them.

Then it hit him. She didn't know he was here. And she was about to kill this Angel just a few blocks away. "Rei?..." Shinji had time to say, before the blast-wave washed over him.

* * *

The cross-studded earth turned below him.

"Wh-what happened?" he didn't really expect an answer, still being slightly mentally addled from the death he'd just gone through. Atleast it had been relatively painless. If having the skin torn from your bones and then having your whole body flash-incinerated could be considered painless… It could, he decided. He had felt a heat, and then…

"Your Eva initiated Third Impact." Rei told him.

His Eva? "When I died..." When he had died, his Eva had activated, and initiated Third Impact. He didn't know what to make of that. Well, atleast that answered that question for sure. If he died, things would reset, even if he was not in his Eva.

"When did you die?" Rei asked. She feared she already knew the answer, but had to ask anyway. She thought back on the recent events. She had repeated back further than normal, going back to her abortive activation experiment. This time, for some strange reason, she had synched with Unit-00 with no problem. She had spent the next few weeks training, and had then been sent out to battle the Third Angel. She was happy to do it, knowing that Shinji, atleast on some level, preferred not to pilot his Eva. She remembered her previous conversation with him in the original time-line in which he had mentioned that piloting it caused him pain.

"When you killed the Angel a dozen blocks from where I stood." he said, half-smiling. Then he frowned. "But that means that Unit-00 didn't reject you. But that was in... the past. Before these loops started." He stopped, unable to come to any logical conclusion on the limited information available.

"When events restarted this time, I found myself at that first activation test where my unit rejected me." Rei told him. "This time it did not."

"But how..." he closed his eyes, concentrating. Before resetting things this time, he had been thinking about how difficult it must be for Rei to have to go through the physical injuries resulting from the rejection every reset. Had he somehow sent her back further using his mental intention? That… that was insane. Was he supposed to control his thoughts at all times when he was in that strange world? "No... It's too much power," he murmured.

"What do you mean, Pilot Ikari?"

"Rei, I think I somehow sent you further back to... give you another chance. To keep you from getting hurt every time the loop restarted. But this isn't right; one person shouldn't have this kind of power." His eyes were still shut, his teeth gritted. "What harm could I do? I don't even know..."

Despite how far she had come, Rei didn't know what to say in this case. But she did know that this wasn't the time to ask, as she had asked before.

* * *

They woke up on the beach. She sat up. Shinji was staring out over the water. She just sat there, wishing she knew what to say to him.

He had no idea what to do. Or what he was capable of. What if he did something that he couldn't reverse? The entire world was in his hands. More importantly, Rei's life was in his hands as well. Eva spread its wings, sending the two of them on their way.

* * *

He hung up the phone, and slumped to the ground, wondering what to do. His eyes were glazed, he didn't pay attention to the battle going on several blocks away. The Angel slammed to the ground with a bright flash of light, he slowly raised his head, and saw Misato's car door open.

"Am I real late?" She asked, cheerfully.

_What now?_ he thought, as he got in. With a slight fluttering sensation in his stomach, he realized that he had once again done… something. It remained to be seen what it was. Ayanami wasn't in her Eva, so he assumed she was once again laid up in a NERV hospital.

* * *

Things had proceeded much the same as they had in the original time-line. He was lost in thought, which caused Misato to behave as she had originally, when he had also been quiet, but for different reasons. He had immediately agreed to fight the Angel, and had been loaded up into the Eva, and now found himself facing the same monster he had faced several times already.

He ducked as the Angel slashed at him with its energy lance. Unconsciously modulating his own field, he reached out, ripped a hole in the Angel's AT field, drew his prog-knife, and slammed it into the Angel's heart. As the Angel lost cohesion, he felt its field waver beneath his own, and tried to shape his own field to contain the explosion. _Might as well use the time to try out a few ideas I had about AT-field shaping, he thought. _The energy plume boiled upward, found the flaws in his field, and again washed over the landscape.

_Damn... better luck next time, I guess._

* * *

Ritsuko approached him as he was on his way to the shower, his hair still dripping LCL. He turned as he saw her.

"Shinji, what was that you were trying to do at the end? I could tell that you were attempting to manipulate your AT field..."

"I was trying to contain the explosion as the Angel died." He shrugged, "I guess I was just experimenting. The Angels use their AT fields in so many ways, I was thinking..." he paused, remembering that Ritsuko would have only seen this one Angel, and perhaps the data on the first two. She wouldn't know what he was talking about.

She nodded, lost in thought. The boy was obviously a prodigy. His extremely high synch ratio, along with the fact that he had maintained the mental acuity to experiment with things even though it was his first time in the massive machine showed how talented he was.

"You know, we could conduct tests." She said slowly. "I never considered something like this." She turned to leave, then stopped, turning her head to Shinji with a smile, "...good job on the Angel, by the way." She turned and walked away. Shinji stood there, feeling the glow. Praise still felt good, even under these circumstances.

"Are you going to take a shower, or are you just going to stand there dripping all over the hall?" He turned to see Misato's smiling face. "Great job out there!"

"Thanks." He turned to go, then paused. "Could you tell me where they're keeping... the other injured pilot? I wanted to see how she was doing..."

"That's very thoughtful..." she looked closer. "Are you blushing?"

"Uhhh..."

Misato laughed, seeing his discomfort, "I'm just teasing. Go take a shower; I'll find out for you."

* * *

He stood in front of the door, the long hallway stretching to either side. He looked up. _That's the number Misato gave me…_ He knocked on the door. There was no answer. He opened it slowly.

"Ayanami?" She lay bandaged, her one visible eye closed. He closed the door, and went over to the chair by the side of the bed. He stared at her for several long moments, then put his head down on his arms, on the edge of the bed. He was mentally tired. Physically, it was near the beginning of the day, but that didn't matter. He briefly wondered what would happen if he somehow kept resetting a day over and over again. Physically he wouldn't need sleep. It made for an interesting mental exercise to think of all the weird possibilities the resets brought.

_I wish I knew what I was doing..._

* * *

He awoke with a jerk, and lifted his head. She was awake and staring at him. "Why are you here?" she asked.

"Oh... I guess I somehow changed things back to the way they were. It looks like Unit-00 rejected you again."

"What are you talking about?" she closed her good eye. "Please leave."

He looked at her in confusion. "When things restarted the last time... don't you remember?" Panic gripped him. He had to know, but couldn't bring himself to kiss her on the lips. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry you have to go through... this pain every time things restart."

She looked at him. "Why did you do that?"

She… she didn't remember him. He came to the cold realization that he had somehow erased her memories. _It… it must've been when I was thinking about if I could return things to the way they were… _She didn't know him any more. All the things they'd done together, the time they'd spent. He blindly ran from the room. He couldn't bear to think about what he'd done to her. She'd been so happy, and now he'd stripped that away from her by accident.

She closed her eyes. Something within her throbbed. A tear slowly leaked out and ran down the side of her face. _Why am I crying? _Why had the boy, the Eva pilot, run from the room? She did seem to have previous memories as the boy had implied. She would have to somehow overcome her conditioning and in order to get close to him and find out what he knew. She drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

Asuka knew things were wrong when everything reset for the second time. Kaji hadn't been much help. What little came out of NERV, he wouldn't tell her, always redirecting the conversation in that maddeningly smooth way of his. She sighed, looking out the window of her apartment. It would be some time before she would know what...

The sky suddenly darkened, then she found herself drifting over earth again. _Maybe I'll find out sooner rather than later. _She turned, and saw Shinji. His back was to her, his shoulders shaking slightly. Someone was holding him. _Comforting him._ she corrected herself. _Is that... Rei?_

No, it couldn't be her. The hair was a different color, and she was... older. She shivered slightly. The woman seemed to look straight through her. She was slightly surprised to find that she couldn't bring herself to be disgusted with him for this show of emotion. _Am I actually... feeling sorry for him?_

* * *

She picked her head up from the sand. Shinji lay still beside her, the orange light playing over his white shirt. Hesitantly, she put a hand on his shoulder, "Shinji, what's wrong?..."

A minute passed. She was about to give up, when he spoke, "I... erased Ayanami."

She had to force herself not to cringe away from him. "Y-you mean completely?"

"No." His voice shook. "Just her memories of the last few resets."

She didn't know what to say. It had been obvious that they had built up a pretty meaningful relationship.

He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "Aren't you going to make fun of me for being weak?"

"I guess not." she said after a short pause. For some reason, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Maybe it was the strangeness of it all, or the fact that there was nobody here but the two of them.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't you change on me too, Asuka!"

She jumped slightly at that. Slowly she reached out and pulled him to her shoulder. "Everybody changes, Third Child." She flinched as she felt his tears in her hair, then laughed to herself. What happened to her hair here didn't matter. She became more somber, as she let him cry. Shinji literally had the world in the palm of his hand. It was more surprising, she supposed, that there hadn't been more casualties. Or maybe there had been, and none of them even knew it.

_I don't think you're weak at all, Shinji._


	11. Chapter 11: Trapped after Third Impact

Chapter 11

"C'mon, Shinji, get ahold of yourself..." her patience was starting to wear thin.

He looked up. "You said my name."

She managed a half-smirk, "Well, don't get used to it!" her voice regained a little of her old snap. She didn't know why she was being kind towards him. _Ayanami's no longer a rival,_ some small corner of her mind spoke to her. She shoved the thought aside, though not without some hesitation. She had seen how confident he had become in his relationship with Ayanami. It was what she had always wanted for herself. She had always criticized him whenever he had acted weak, but that had only seemed to push him further into his shell. She wondered briefly what Rei had done to bring him out. She dropped the thought with some disgust. _What am I thinking?_

_"That's the voice I'm used to..."_ he thought.

She turned her head, looking at the bleak landscape. Tokyo-3 hadn't been whole even before Third Impact, but now it looked positively desolate. The skeleton of the fifth Angel still loomed in the middle of the city. It had never had time to be fully dismantled before the end.

"Shouldn't we have gone back by now?" She looked back at him. Then she corrected herself, "No, you control that too, don't you? It's why..." She stopped, not knowing how far his control went. She had made the joke about it earlier, but _was_ he really God here?

"I don't ever want to go back..." Shinji muttered. He had nothing back on earth. Rei didn't remember him. Part of him knew he could once again win her over, but how long would it be before he just hurt her again? And his poor mental state ensured that however his previous confidence had grown, it was now virtually nill. He didn't even think he could face her right now, let alone start another relationship.

Asuka's eyes widened in alarm. "Shinji, it's dangerous for you to think like that!" If his thought determined reality here… she didn't want to think about it.

"That's the whole point, isn't it? I'm tired of hurting people. Of being hurt."

Asuka closed her eyes in exasperation. "Idiot." she said, though not unkindly. "You just have to learn to control yourself." _Mein Gott! This is ironic_ thought Asuka. He must have caught this himself, because she saw his face flicker with what might have been a half smile. She nursed her pride, waiting for him to say something. He didn't. She sighed to herself. _There's hope yet..._

* * *

Some time later, she got up, stretching her back and yawning. "Third Child." she said. "We really can't stay here forever. We'll starve, or dehydrate..."

"I know." He opened his eyes and looked up at her, fear evident in his face, "I can't seem to make things restart!" Despite his morose thoughts earlier, his relationship with Ayanami had left roots of happiness in him. They had begun to work on him, and he wondered if perhaps he _could_ learn to control himself enough to keep her safe. Thinking back, it was obvious that his thoughts controlled this place, to some degree. But to his growing horror, he found that he couldn't make things reset, as he had before.

"Wha-aat?" she said, her eyes bugging out. "Ooh, don't say that!" She ran up to him, shaking his shoulders. "It's just because of what you said before. Reverse it! Take it back!"

"I've been try-ying!" he said, trying to escape her grasp. "For the past ten minutes!"

"Oh, no..." She let him go and sat down, moaning. "Trapped..." And all because of his mental state. Who knew how long they'd be here? What happened if they died here? She had no idea.

Shinji looked at her, then looked back at Tokyo-3. She was right. With a monumental effort, he pushed his grief aside and got up, his mouth a hard line. He did know one thing. His Eva was somewhere in NERV HQ below. It was what controlled the resets, if his suppositions were correct. If they were stuck here, they could atleast go check out the Eva personally, and maybe figure something out.

"Let's go find my Eva," he said. "Maybe we'll get some answers." She stopped brooding, and looked up at the profile he set against the sea of LCL. For a moment her eyes became hearts, and as he began walking towards Tokyo-3, she leapt up and put her arm through his.

"Good idea!" She bounced. She had never thought he would throw off his depression like this. The Shinji she knew would have collapsed into a crying heap and never gotten up. This, she could work with. "...eheh," she pulled away, embarrassed. What was she thinking? He was still Shinji, no matter if he had changed a little. And yet… She shoved the thought aside. She would see what happened.

The surprise on his face slowly drained away. He had no idea what had come over her, but they needed to get going. Maybe they could even find some food and water on the way. He felt an urgency he had not felt since the resets began. They were now trapped by time, and the unknown. _Is this how we used to live? Have the resets changed my mindset so much in the short time I've been in them?_ He didn't like the feeling of vulnerability.

"..um, let's go?" she said, happy that he wasn't questioning her about her strange actions. He nodded, then turned and began walking again. She walked beside him. She surreptitiously glanced at his face. _I guess that's the face of grief. Sad that it takes grief to make him a man_

* * *

As they trudged through the ruins of Tokyo-3, they passed a convenience store lit on the inside by a single, working (albeit on and off) fluorescent fixture. Shinji remembered Misato's comment to him in the car as she drove him to NERV HQ.

_"Oh, you're no fun. You know, you're not as cute as I thought you'd be."_

"Hey, Asuka." He didn't know a lot about girls. What little experience he had came from a relationship with a conditioned clone. But he knew how any living woman would react to the words he was about to say. "Want to go shopping?" By her looks, she was on her last legs. Of course, he knew what an actor she was... She probably wasn't complaining as much for his sake, not wanting to look weak. As long as he didn't complain, she wouldn't. But when she heard his words, looked up, and saw the convenience store, her eyes lit up.

"Oh, YES!" She almost broke the door on her way in. He sat down against a pole, closing his eyes in thought, relishing the wave of amusement that came from seeing her sudden burst of energy.

"Food!" He heard her muffled yell. "Water!"

Several minutes later, he heard the door open again, and opened his eyes. She came out the door, a water bottle in her hand, a backpack full of stuff, and wearing sunglasses (despite the sun having gone down already). She tossed him a water bottle.

"Thanks." He said. He looked to her backpack, "I'll carry that for you..." He surprised himself with that statement. By all rights he should be withdrawing into himself. He had been open towards Rei, but… Had she opened him up sufficiently that he felt more confident around other people as well? Sadness mixed with the thankfulness he felt towards her. _I have no way of thanking her, now. She's… gone._

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, then shrugged out of the backpack, handing it to him. They continued making their way down the familiar route they had taken during the ninth Angel's attack. Well, mostly familiar. There were still a few rousing arguments at several of the turns in the corridors.

* * *

As he worked the crank to open the emergency door, she leaned against the wall.

"Who was that woman with us over earth this time?" she asked, hesitantly. She didn't want to make things worse for him, but she was curious.

"Who? Oh... I guess... I felt like my mother was there for a while."

"She looked like Rei..." Asuka murmured aloud, wondering what it all meant.

Shinji glanced at her. _That's right, she doesn't know Rei is a clone._ For some reason he felt hesitation about telling her. He mentally shrugged, continuing to turn the crank.

They stepped through the now open portal.

* * *

Between the two of them, they managed to retrace their previous steps through the ventilation ducts. Finally, with a kick and a bang, the last grate fell to the floor. Shinji leapt to the floor, shining his flashlight into the utter blackness. He stopped walking when his arm touched the railing. The beam of light shone upwards.

_Eva..._

It was as he remembered it, covered almost up to the neck in the binding purple gel. _Bakelite, Misato called it. _As he played the light over the Eva's face, emotion overwhelmed him. It might have been a trick of the light, but the Eva's eyes seemed to flicker once.

_What's happening?_ He silently pleaded. He wondered what to do next. There was no power, but technically that didn't matter. There was an emergency power generator, but he didn't know where it was, nor did he know if it even had any fuel left. And if he somehow by some miracle got everything working and synched with his Eva, what did he expect to accomplish? There were no Angels here to fight, and if he couldn't get things to reset out here, why would things be any different inside the entry plug?

* * *

Asuka dropped from the wall shaft, walking hesitantly towards where she saw Shinji's light bobbing around up ahead. Her foot his some piece of broken machinery, which fell over with a clatter. She bit off a curse in German, grabbing her toe. Continuing on, she ran into a railing, almost falling over it. She grabbed it, steadying herself. Shinji's light was still moving in the distance, but something made her shine her own light out over the railing. She saw a dark red form.

"My Unit-02..." she breathed. The massive hybrid had fallen over from some quake, resting against (and contorting) part of the catwalk where she was standing. She reached up slowly and touched the red armor of the Eva whose hands she had so often put her life into. The four round eyes flared gently with life. She gasped, dropping her flashlight into the purple murk below.

She didn't think about that, however, for she felt a presence through her A10 clips. She always wore them, but the reasons had changed over time. At first, they were a reminder to everyone around her as to just what she was, while also serving as a kind of unique fashion statement. But she had found that, for her atleast, wearing them continuously seemed to help her synch ratio. And now she felt her Eva calling her. She closed her eyes, and in her mind's eye, she again saw the woman. The one who had been comforting Shinji.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"In his current state, Shinji is unable to externally synch with Unit-01." This woman was somehow Shinji's Eva, she realized.

"But, what..." she started to ask.

The woman looked like she was about to ask a question herself, but then she gave Asuka one of those piercing looks. She shivered. The woman must have gotten the answer she was looking for, because she smiled, and vanished moments later. Asuka fell to her knees, gasping and clutching the railing. She had never experienced anything like that. She looked up, but the light in the Eva's eyes had gone back out. She looked over in Shinji's direction, and saw only darkness. Panicking, she turned a circle, and saw the boy's light. It had momentarily been turned the opposite direction.

"Shinji!" she yelled, "I dropped my light!" He walked over to where she was. She fell into step beside him. She explained her vision to him.

"Externally synch?" he echoed. Then something clicked in his mind. "Wait, I remember Kaworu somehow managed to make your Eva come alive back in the original time-line."

She looked at him questioningly.

"Oh, umm, you were kind of indisposed at the time. Kaworu was your… rep- um, backup, remember?"

She looked down, thankful that the darkness hid her blush of embarrassment. He had been about to say 'replacement.' At the time, she had been almost unable to synch with her Eva, and so Kaworu had been sent to be her stand-in.

"Anyway," he said, sensing her embarrassment and wanting to hurry past it before she exploded. "He wasn't even in the entry plug, and he managed to activate Unit-02. I had to first disable it and then kill him. But it all makes sense. I don't control the resets, Eva does, I guess. I've improved enough to externally synch with Unit-01, like Kaworu could apparently do with any Eva." The pride left his voice just as quickly as it had entered. "Well, I _had _improved enough to do that. I've fallen again, apparently."

"What now, do you think?" she asked. They reached the wall with the shaft leading back out.

He leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. "I don't know. If I can't externally synch with Unit-01 and control the resets, maybe the only option is to do it from within the entry plug." He sighed. "It's a long process to manually launch the Eva. You remember all the people it took to do it back when we fought the ninth Angel…"

"Yeah." She sat and hugged her knees. This place was so desolate. She'd prefer even the embarrassment of living in Misato's apartment to this. Shinji must have decided on some course of action. He moved beside her, about to get up, when suddenly four glowing eyes appeared, and massive yellow wings unfolded, splitting the darkness.


	12. Chapter 12: Asuka's Battle

Chapter 12

"You know," Kaji said in his usual flirtatious voice, sitting on the deck chair, his hands behind his head. "You've been ignoring me lately. And I've noticed you taking those trips out to town without me." He opened one eye, looking at Asuka, who was standing, silhouetted by the setting sun, her hands on her hips, staring out over the city. "Frankly, I'm hurt." He closed his eye again.

"Get used to it Kaji." The smug triumph in her voice was clear, but the note of apprehension gained from recent experiences was also all too evident for those who knew her well. "I'm in charge now. And you're this close to being replaced."

"Ouch, shot through the heart!" Kaji said, wincing. He didn't quite understand everything she was saying, but if it meant that she had set her sights on another guy, then he could rest easier. He mentally saluted whoever it was.

_I wish you luck. You'll probably need it_

* * *

Shinji felt his nose tickle. "Hachoo!" he sniffled slightly, getting out a square cloth and rubbing his nose.

Ritsuko looked at him in concern. "I hope you're not coming down with something. We've got the first of your AT field test simulations tomorrow afternoon."

"No, I'm fine." he quickly reassured her. The moving platform continued downward. The past weeks had started out nightmarishly depressing. After being given her new security card, he had snuck into her apartment and replaced it without her knowing he had even been there. He didn't know what would have happened if she had caught him. It still hurt him just thinking about what he had done to her. He had almost decided to somehow skip class from the day Rei returned, just so he wouldn't have to face seeing her.

For a couple of days he did this, going instead to the library to study. This actually soothed his nerves such that he began to feel bad at how cowardly he was acting. _I can't keep running from my problems like this, _he finally decided, and so he returned to school. Every time he looked at Rei, his heart ached. She mostly behaved as normal, sitting in class, staring out the window. Sometimes she would glance at him, and he felt like killing himself. _She still remembers the resets. She just doesn't have the willpower on her own to overcome her conditioning._ When he realized this, he could do no more than sit there, tears running down his face. He was beyond caring what anyone else in the class thought if they noticed him crying.

His grief was like an open wound that wouldn't heal, but he did eventually develop a kind of numbness that let him get through the days. He ate, slept, and trained mechanically, doing his best, but without feeling. He never faced down Touji, of course, since he had not gone berserk against the third Angel. He did rescue them from the fourth Angel, and even acquiesced to enter his usual friendship with them, but he was more aloof than ever, even when around them. They noticed the difference, but never pushed him about it. "It's gotta by piloting the Eva that does this." Touji had whispered to Kensuke one day, the both of them watching Shinji as he sat at his desk doing his homework, his face set in a way that was frighteningly close to Gendo's usual expression. "Maybe it leaches the emotion right out of him." Kensuke nodded slowly, but in his own mind something just didn't add up.

It was while he was in the bathroom one day that he noticed this himself. After washing his face, he looked at himself in the mirror, and was briefly shocked at how like his father he had started to appear. He stared at himself for several minutes, emotions and memories warring within him. As much as he hated his father, he knew that he now had some idea of how the man had become as he was today. When he realized this, he half-smiled. With a jolt, he realized that the smile looked exactly like one of Gendo's smirks. He cracked up, unable to help himself. The emotion that he had suppressed over the past weeks escaped, and he burst out laughing, until tears ran down his face, and then he cried. He didn't realize when Misato came in, but when he came to himself, she was holding him, and he was crying on her shoulder.

When he pulled away finally, she spoke. "Tell me what's wrong Shinji."

"I lost a girl," he managed to get out. "She liked me, and then I made a stupid mistake, and now she doesn't even know I exist." It might as well have been the truth, in effect. He knew that Misato didn't remember anything from the previous reset, but it felt good to tell her about it. "We… did almost everything together. She taught me so much, and now she's gone. And it's all my fault."

She could do no more than hold him as he continued to cry quietly. She didn't ask him any more questions for fear of making things worse. As she held him, she became pensive herself, thinking of the mistakes she'd made in her own life. With Kaji.

From then on, he no longer saw Gendo in his own face, and for that he was… if not happy, then atleast grateful. Misato no longer teased him after that, feeling almost a kinship with him. Though he didn't verbally thank her for helping him release his emotions, she saw it in his eyes whenever it was his turn to cook. And sometimes when it wasn't his turn, and he cooked anyway.

* * *

The explosion ballooned upwards in a tight stream, then spread out and dissipated several hundred feet above the Eva's head.

"That was good Shinji." Ritsuko said. "We're getting a lot of information."

"I probably only contained that one because it was so weak. We should move to seventy-five percent of the power of an N2 mine."

"Are you sure?" Ritsuko asked in alarm.

"Well, it's not like it would hurt me. The worst that would happen is I fail to contain it." The Eva stood knee-deep in the water, the ruins of Tokyo-2 in the distance. Remote monitoring equipment stood on the shore behind him, and Ritsuko was even further inland in a mobile transport that had been set up to be the command center for this operation. "The problem is that the damage reflecting power of the AT field diminishes rapidly the further away I deploy it."

"That _is_ a problem." said Ritsuko.

"Hmmm... I'm going to try something. Send down the next one."

"Okay." She contacted the pilot. "On its way in ten seconds," she reported back to Shinji. He looked up, seeing the contrail of the jet. His display beeped as the Eva detected the inbound projectile. He crouched and pushed off into a run, the umbilical trailing behind him. He slid to a stop at the projected point of impact. Looking up, he could barely follow the bomb it was dropping so fast. It exploded about chest-height (for the Eva), and Shinji circled his arms, extending the AT field, as if hugging the explosion. The explosion expanded above and below like an hourglass. The water rushed in to fill what had been flash-evaporated away.

"Excellent idea, Shinji!" He heard Ritsuko's voice again. "I'm sending another one. This time..."

The experiment continued.

* * *

Asuka trekked through the ruins of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3. After much experimentation, she had found out quite a lot about the resets. For one, she discovered that she didn't have to bring Shinji or Rei here with her. Also, remembering how Shinji had told her that he sent Rei back further than they usually returned when everything reset, she began experimenting in that area. It turned out that she could travel back to their usual starting point, or even just a few minutes back. So it wasn't necessary to repeat everything they'd already been through if they did something wrong. In fact, she could simply go back to exactly where she'd left off, if she wanted to do so. Which was useful, because then even Shinji wouldn't know what she was doing, because he wouldn't notice any changes, since she would not have actually moved them through time.

But most importantly, she had found out… another fact. It was why she was here now. The sun was close to setting, but she was in the proper part of town for her task. She shivered, looking at all the ruined buildings. In front of her was one particularly run-down store-front. She walked around the side, and saw a rusted out sliding garage door. She checked it by hand. _Of course... won't budge._

She sighed and looked around. After a few minutes of searching, she found a large section of pipe almost too heavy for her to wield. _This'll have to do. _She took a swing at the rusted door, and punched a ragged hole in it, almost losing her pipe. _I should've expected that..._

The rusted metal almost had the consistency of tissue paper. After several minutes, she had torn a hole large enough for her purposes, and was soaked with sweat. She sat down against the outside wall of the adjoining building, breathing heavily, thankful she was no longer in her plug suit. Finding a suitable wardrobe had been one of the first things she had done. Sadly, in this case, suitable wardrobe meant ragged shorts and t-shirt. No need to ruin good clothes with work like this. She looked at her hands, the dirt and blisters marring her beautiful skin. Teardrops bounced beneath her eyes. The only good news was that it wasn't permanent. Nothing in this transient place was.

* * *

Shinji set Misato's plate before her, and then went to get his own breakfast.

"Thanks, Shinji," she said, starting to eat. "Oh, by the way, remember to go straight to NERV today. We've got to go pick up Unit-02."

Shinji was surprised. He had lost track of time. "Ah, okay. Oh," he took out his cell phone. "Can I invite Kensuke and Touji to come along as well?"

"Sure!" she said with her usual cheerful smile.

* * *

The Admiral watched in horror as the wake headed straight for one of his destroyers. With a massive purple explosion, the craft was rocked onto its side and torn in half.

"What's this Angel doing here?" Misato asked. "Is it after Unit-02?"

* * *

"Mach schnell! This way!" Asuka had Shinji's hand and was dragging him into one of the side rooms of the battleship. She pushed him against the wall. "Just wait here a second!" then went down the stairs out of sight to change into her plug suit. A couple of minutes of effort later, she fingered the button on her wrist that contracted the suit around her.

* * *

A quartet of ASROCs left their launch tubes, arcing through the air and exploding ineffectually against the dark shape beneath the water.

"Why won't it sink?" the Admiral asked, a note of desperation in his voice, as he lowered his binoculars.

"Only an Eva can beat it..." Touji mumbled.

"Wha-at??" the Admiral and his aide both turned and exclaimed at the same time

"Nothing!..." Touji said quickly.

* * *

Asuka came around the corner with her spare plug suit in her hands. She stopped in surprise to find Shinji already in his own plug suit. He looked at her. She glared at him, not willing to let him off so easily.

"How do you know that suit will even interface with my Eva, Third Child?"

"I asked Ritsuko."

Her eyebrows came up. _I__mpressive... _She dropped her spare suit. "Well, let's go then," she finally said.

He followed her. He had not had any idea what her plans would be, so he came prepared. Just as she had not wanted the embarrassment of losing a fight against the twin Angel, and so had changed things, he disliked the embarrassment of wearing her female-sculpted plug-suit. So he changed things.

* * *

The Eva stood on the deck of the carrier, crouched. Asuka frowned. She didn't know why she had brought him this time. It wasn't to show off, like the first time. And she didn't need his help. And it certainly wasn't because...

"Eyeee!" Her face became a mask of horror. _I do _not _have feelings for him._ Her Eva slumped as the connections began to uncouple because of her brief mental state.

"Asuka!" Shinji grabbed the control yokes, pulling them up. The Eva stood up again. "Are you alright?"

"Aaaah! Let go of my hands, you idiot!"

"Your Eva seemed to like it." He purred into her ear. Then he mentally slapped himself. _Thanks, Rei. You just got me killed. _Apparently he still had a little of the openness and confidence he had acquired in his relationship with her.

Asuka's cheeks had gone as red as her suit.

"Eheh," he slowly took his hands off hers, "That must've come from my previous... relationship. Umm..."

She regained control of herself. "rrrr, what do YOU THINK YOU'RE..."

The Angel swallowed them whole, then slid off the carrier and belly-flopped back into the water. The Admiral and Misato looked on in horror as the umbilical bounced around the deck, its frayed end sparking.

* * *

"Quick!" Shinji said, reaching for the controls again, "We've only got sixty seconds to find the heart!"

"What?? If you think you're in control of this operation, think again!" she snapped. _Ohh, but he's right... I don't have time to cut off the head. Why did I even bring him??_ she moaned inwardly.

"Yes," Shinji said, half-smiling, continuing to crawl the Eva deeper into the beast's belly. "Why _did_ you bring me?" He felt light-headed from the adrenaline of the battle, and had unconsciously decided to continue with the banter he had picked up from Ayanami. Asuka hadn't killed him yet. Why not?

_Did I say that out loud?_ she cringed in horror, before switching to anger. "You're not getting out of this that easy! and where are you going??" she said, trying to wrest the controls away from him.

He pointed to a slight emanation on the screen. "I think that's the heart."

"You're crazy!"

"...and probably right."

"I'm not risking my precious Unit-02 on your hunch!"

"That's right. You're not. We're in a time loop."

* * *

"AAAAAAARG!" Misato jerked off the headset, closing her eyes and wincing at Asuka's piercing wail. She opened one eye.

_Well, atleast _one_ of them has a plan..._

Twenty seconds later there was a massive underwater explosion. Misato watched as Unit-02 skipped across the water, its limbs flailing, and embedded itself into the side armor of a battleship with a CLANG! From the headset she held in her hand, she heard Asuka's screech.

"Ouch! Get off me, dummkoph!"

"You're the one who's on me!" Shinji complained. "Why'd you have to jump out of your seat like that?"

"I was trying to end your existence for what you were doing to my poor Unit-02!"

"Hey, we won the battle, right?"

"AT fields aren't supposed to be used like that!"

"Oh, like you'd know? I've been doing tests with Ritsuko on Unit-01!"

"You have?" She couldn't keep the admiration from her voice.

"I could show you..." he said, tantalizingly,

"Aaah! You've got a lot of nerve..." She said, turning away from him in the entry plug, to hide her cheeks, which had gone pink.

* * *

"Aah, love." Misato sighed, smiling.


	13. Chapter 13: The Hunter and The Hunted

Chapter 13

"Look what your Eva did to my battleship!" the Admiral moaned, aghast. Misato stood beside him, her arms crossed, a triumphant grin on her face.

"You should be happy you have battleships still floating! That Angel could have destroyed us all if not for the Eva." The Admiral didn't answer, trying to think of something that would save his hide during the coming courtmartial.

* * *

"Oh Shin-ji! There's no need to hide!" He stood stock still behind a porthole door as she went past, her plug shoes thumping on the deck of the ship. He could practically hear the hearts in her voice, and that was warning enough for him. While Asuka had briefed Misato on the battle, Shinji had managed to slip away unnoticed. After the adrenaline of the battle had worn off, he wondered what he'd been thinking. They had fought well together, but he knew she wouldn't forget all the teasing and flirting he had inflicted upon her.

"Shin-ji! I just wanted to thank you! C'mon!" Now he knew she was lying. She'd never thanked anyone in her life. Sweat ran down the side of his face. He knew he was in trouble. He'd publicly shown her up in her own Eva, after all.

"SHINJI! I know you're here, I picked up one of your A10 clips a few minutes ago!" His hand went to his head, feeling for the traitorous missing clip. He took the other one off, but had nowhere to put it.

"We can do this the easy wasy, or the hard way!" He wondered at that. There was silence for several minutes. He had just decided to move to a different hiding place, when everything went black.

* * *

He floated over earth, puzzled for a moment. Before he could look around, an arm slipped around his neck and tightened. His eyes bugged out.

"Alright, Shinji," he heard Asuka's voice in his ear, "we're going to have a nice long talk."

He sighed and closed his eyes. So she was in control of the resets now. It actually relieved him beyond measure, for it meant he wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone anymore. Asuka had always been strong. She would know how to handle it. "Your threats are meaningless, here anyway." He said as he floated through her only partially-substantial arm. "I don't know much about what's going on, but I know that."

Asuka's eyes flashed with anger.

* * *

He woke up to Asuka kneeling over him choking him. He gagged.

"See? Doesn't feel very good, does it?" she said, a smirk on her face. "Don't ever do something like that again, you hear me? You know how I hate being humiliated!" For a moment he couldn't tell if she was referring to when he had been choking her, or their recent fight in Unit-02. He decided on the latter.

"Forget it, Asuka!" He croaked, surprising himself with his vehemence. "If I see something that needs doing, I'm going to do it!" She had after all been hesitating. Never mind that things would have reset if she'd failed...

Her eyes widened slightly, and she loosened her grip with a sigh. _Well, I can't fault him for finally growing a spine. Plus he's right. Maybe I'm the one who needs to grow up a little._ Though she would never admit something like that out loud.

Shinji gasped, getting his breath back and rubbing his throat. Catching sight of something, he tilted his head back. A fender. He sat up and looked behind him at the bright red convertible.

"Wow..."

"She's a real beauty, huh?" Asuka said proudly, her hands on her hips. She walked away from him and disappeared behind a set of fold-up changing-screens. He looked around in wonder, noticing the lawn chair, the giant umbrella over the top of it, the mini-refridgerator, the solar-cells... His jaw dropped. This place was decked out. He looked back over to the changing-screens, the limp, red plug-suit now flopped over the top. She walked back into view wearing a summer outfit, and noticed his surprise.

"This place has a lot more potential than you ever used." He could hear the pride in her voice. She looked around, taking on a more somber look. "But then, you _were_ kind of busy."

* * *

Her smile was one of pure bliss as she drove through the darkened Tokyo-3, red hair streaming behind her.

"This is the life, Shinji." she proclaimed.

"Yeah, it is kind of peaceful out here," he agreed.

Her mouth became a straight line. _Well, I was going to say that it was too bad there weren't more people here, but I guess I shouldn't push him too hard. He has come a long way._

He looked over at her. "What you said back there. It wasn't strictly true. I was a lot more closed off back when this all started..." He looked away again, slightly embarrassed. He'd never heard her make excuses for anybody before.

_You still are closed off_ she thought. _But we all grow up eventually, and I see you growing up in front of me..._

He brought the conversation back to a more stable topic. "So, what you were saying before, you can control where we end up in time here as well?"

"Right." she said, smiling at her success. "It has to be after Third Impact, but anytime after that is fair game."

"Which means, you can build on things you did previously when you came here." Which explained all the stuff she'd collected.

She continued smiling. "So what are we going to do on the next reset?"

"Well, we could finally get into some better apartments..." Then his heart sank slightly, remembering what he'd done to Rei. He pushed that thought aside, turning to her with a half smile. "You know, you had just passed the door where I was hiding before you brought us here."

* * *

He found himself standing against the wall just where he'd been before. _What? She tricked me! She never told me it was possible to return right back to where we left off... _He shivered. He'd been in her grasp back on the beach. Had she just been playing with him there? Just what torture did she have in store for him? W_hy are you still standing there??_ his inner self berated him. He turned for the door and almost ran into Asuka.

"Found you!" she crowed, grabbing the front of his plug suit and slamming him against the wall. "You know, I've changed my mind about you, Third Child!" She wore a predatory grin. A drop of sweat rolled down the side of his head as he awaited his fate. "I only have one thing I want you to do right now."

He gulped, all his thoughts sliding away from him as he tried to figure out what was happening.

"Kiss me," she said.

He blinked.

She looked at him, waiting. "Oh, c'mon, I've seen you with the First," she said, goading him.

Grief and confusion swirled around in his head. Well, this was one thing that no longer frightened him. If that was all she wanted... He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her lips to his. Her eyes widened in surprise. He turned her around and pushed her against the wall, deepening the kiss.

"..mmhhmmm!..." The A10 clip fell from her fingers. She shuddered, then pulled herself out of his embrace, sliding along the wall and out the door to lean against the outer hatch gasping, holding her hand to her chest. How could something so disgusting be so exhilarating?

_Mein Gott, he's been learning on Ayanami!_ she realized the implications of that for the first time. _His lips could penetrate AT fields... _The thought was absurd, of course, but it indicated her mental state.

His head appeared from the hatch beside her, one of his eyebrows raised. "Don't tell me you're giving up now..." That statement froze her momentarily, robbing her of her only chance of escape. He came out of the hatch and pounced on her. Part of her wanted to slap him for his impertinence, but the other traitorous part was actually happy. Both parts, however, were frozen into immobility by the fact that she'd brought this on herself. She wavered into blissful unconsciousness and fell from his lips.

He stood there momentarily, then realized what he'd done. _Oh God no, I'm a dead man._ But why would something so simple make her faint? Her pride would never allow her respite after what he had just witnessed. There was nowhere he could run that was safe. _Might as well face my end with dignity..._ he thought glumly. He stood there for several moments.

_Forget dignity! _he decided. He dragged her limp body into the empty room where he had hid. He wasn't stupid. If someone found her unconscious, whatever hope for mercy he had would be gone. He left the room, picked up his A10 clips, and jogged off to find Misato, trying desperately to put all the confusing events of the last hour out of his mind.

* * *

The surviving ships were anchored in the port. Misato relaxed as Ritsuko studied the battle report.

"My, my, my." Ritsuko said. "Quite spectacular."

Misato sighed.

"Ah, I should've anticipated it. That was dumb."

Ritsuko turned to look at her.

"_You're_ apologizing? Are you okay?"

"Cut it out! Atleast we collected a lot of valuable data."

"So I see." While the conditions weren't perfect, Shinji had indeed been able to use some of the training she'd been putting him through. "Misato... this data really is important. They broke their synchronization ratio records."

"Just for seven seconds." Misato cut in. "It must've been due to the danger."


	14. Chapter 14: Asuka loses her chance

Chapter 14

Asuka pulled up to the once-upscale apartment building. Third Impact had not been kind to its outer facade, but the structure itself was mostly intact. She looked up, round teardrops bouncing beneath her eyes. _So many stairs..._

She sighed, getting out of the car. _Might as well get started._

* * *

Her eyes closed, Rei floated, motionless, in the dummy plug test chamber. Her normally empty thoughts had lately been disturbed more and more by what appeared to be repeating events. She still had not been able to approach Pilot Ikari. She had seen him glancing at her for a short while during class, and she had even seen him crying at one point. For some reason it struck a chord in her, but her conditioning was as strong as ever, and her constant thoughts had only seemed to strengthen it. Her sky-blue eyebrows quivered once. It was unlikely that she would be able to overcome her conditioning any time soon. Her conditioning. Imposed by the Commander. She had always looked up to him, but now what he had done was interfering with her attempts to gather information.

A tendril of anger wove its way through her mind. She knew him to be relentless when pursuing his goals. People were tools. She respected him, but she could no longer look up to him. In her mind, the Commander's face morphed into Shinji's. The sudden emotion that followed this image confused her.

* * *

Asuka gave a half-smile, playing her light over the closet, the two rolled-up mats standing to one side, crowding the moth-eaten clothes hanging from the rack.

_Of course Misato wouldn't have thrown it away._

* * *

In the control room adjoining the test chamber, several of the graphs monitoring Rei's condition inched into the red.

"Ma'am..." the technician turned. Ritsuko walked over and looked at the monitor.

* * *

Behind Rei's closed eyelids, her normally red eyes flashed orange momentarily. A flood of memories assailed her as alarms went off in the control room.

* * *

"Shut it down!" Ritsuko snapped. She spoke into the microphone. "Rei, we're bringing you out. That's enough for now."

"Yes ma'am." Rei's impassive voice didn't carry any hint of her inner turmoil. Ritsuko turned to the technician.

"Have the MAGI run a full diagnostic on the test equipment before we resume the experiment."

It was still the beginning of the day. Rei found that she could still make it to school and actually be on time. As she showered and put on her clothes, she desperately sorted through the memories, and the emotions that went with them.

* * *

Shinji sat at his desk, thinking. The familiar conversation wafted through the air.

"Well, atleast we won't be seeing any more of her." Kensuke was saying.

"Yeah, but Mr. Bigshot still has to go work with her every day." Touji said with a laugh.

Shinji smiled. Their banter was no longer accurate, but Asuka apparently had too much fun tormenting Touji every time they repeated the Special Hat incident that he still had a bad opinion of her.

His smile froze as hands came around the sides of his head and covered his eyes.

"Guess who."

He didn't have to. That soft voice could only belong to one person. He turned, unconsciously taking one of the hands in his own. The tangle of emotions that greeted his mind nearly pushed him over the edge. "A-Ayanami?"

She dropped her other hand on his shoulder, smiling at the surprise and terror on his face. Relief finally overcame everything else, and he smiled, a tear involuntarily falling from his eye. "You're back..."

* * *

Asuka had just finished writing her name on the board when she heard the Class Rep's voice saying, "What's going on here?"

She turned, saw Shinji, then saw Rei. Her smile froze.

"This is personal." Shinji said quietly, looking at the Class Rep.

"What?" she said, her hands on her hips. "It looks a little _too_ personal..."

"I don't think it's any of your business."

The Class Rep was so surprised to hear that from Shinji, she didn't know what to say. The door opened, the ancient-looking teacher stood, waiting. The Class Rep found her voice again. "Stand! Bow!"

Surprise, admiration, and jealousy warred within Asuka as she took her seat.

* * *

Shinji's confusion and relief were such that all he could do the entire lesson was stare out the window, in a somewhat amusing mimicry of Rei's own posture. When lunch period arrived, the both of them were out of the classroom before even Kensuke could get his camera up. Their feet found a deserted classroom and they fell into each other's embrace, their shared kiss full of urgency and need. Some time later, as they sat against the wall, leaning against each other and holding hands, their eyes closed, Shinji murmured, "I'm sorry. I thought... I'd lost you forever. All because I didn't know what I was doing with the resets."

She said nothing, happy just to be with him. Several minutes later, he asked, "How did you get your memory back?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "It happened during the mind-transferral process I go through regularly for the dummy-plug experiments."

"That's what my father has you doing that takes up so much time?" He realized that he'd never asked her about it.

"Yes." She knew he didn't know anything about the experiment, and so explained. "I regularly spend several hours in a special chamber updating the nerve- and muscle-memories of all the other Rei-clones. It's not really a direct mind-transfer, as far as I can understand. From what I know, there is a connection between the mind and soul. Atleast the soul as understood by NERV scientists. So to some extent, the mind is transferred when the soul is transferred."

He was silent for several moments, trying to understand it all. "You mean, if you died, the new clone that received your soul might not remember everything."

"Or atleast not all at once. I would slowly regain my memories."

"You mean this has happened before?" Shinji asked.

"Yes."

Of course it had, Shinji realized. He thought back.

_Rei sat on the long, blue cushioned bench in the hospital waiting room, while Shinji stood to one side. Her arm was in a sling, She had a patch over one eye, and her head was wrapped in a bandage._

"_I'm glad you're alive," Shinji said, slightly embarrassed. She betrayed no emotion, but he was used to that from her. "But, why isn't my father here?" He thought the old man cared about her. The least he could do is show up on the day she was released from the hospital. "Thanks, by the way," he said. "You saved me." He knew that without her actions, the sixteenth Angel would have taken over his Eva. He shuddered. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel it worming its way along his hand into his consciousness._

"_What?" she asked. The jumble of confusion was normal after being forced to switch bodies to another clone, but she wished it wasn't so difficult to remember recent events. Pilot Ikari was her only real friend, and obviously something important had happened. The last time she had switched bodies was after Naoko had strangled her to death. That event still confused her. Had she done something to anger the woman?_

"_You saved me by self-destructing Unit-00," Shinji told her._

"_I saved you?"_

"_Yeah, don't you remember?"_

"_No... I mean, I don't know. I think, probably, I'm the third." It was the only thing she was reasonably sure of at the moment. She wished she could remember more details, but it was beyond her for now. Hopefully he would understand._

The bell rang in the distance, but they didn't move.

* * *

Asuka returned to her seat, the slightly tepid school lunch heavy in her stomach. She glanced over at the two empty seats usually occupied by Shinji and Rei. _It appears her memory has returned. And he's gone back to his old ways. _Had that kiss meant nothing to him? Tears blurred her vision. She was the one who had forced him into it. Why? Did she have feelings for him? _No!_ She brutally shoved the thoughts and emotion aside. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned in surprise. It was Hikari.

"Are you okay?" the girl asked.

Asuka smiled wanly. "Yeah. Don't worry about me."

Hikari glanced at the two empty seats, "Hm, they didn't come back from lunch. Do you know where they are? That's unlike them. They're two of the better-behaved ones in this class."

"No." Asuka said in a dull voice. "I don't know where they are." _And I doubt they're being very well behaved. _Hikari seemed oblivious to what was happening. For someone who pined after Touji like there was no tomorrow, the girl could be astonishingly dull at times.

* * *

"Let's go get something to eat," Shinji finally said, stirring slightly.

"The school cafeteria is closed," Rei reminded him.

"Then we'll just go somewhere else."

She said nothing to that, as they both got up and, hand in hand, left the school. It was logical, in its own way. There was no harm in skipping school, since they had already been through the entire semester before. Her curiosity grew as they stepped onto a bus. After some time, she asked, "Where are we going?"

He pointed to a needle-thin building in the distance. Her eyes widened slightly. "Can we afford to eat there?" she asked in surprise. It was one of the most luxurious restaurants in Tokyo-3. The dining area was situated at the top of the spindle-like tower, and rotated, giving the patrons a full three hundred and sixty degree view of the city every twenty minutes.

"Yes we can, actually. Somehow I managed to win the lottery..." his eyes danced with amusement, and she returned his smile, remembering Asuka's plan. They were both silent for the rest of the ride, Shinji still a little overwhelmed with the joy of Rei's return to his life, and Rei similarly overwhelmed sorting through all the memories she had so recently regained.

* * *

As they entered the base of the tower through the automatic doors, they both were awed by the majestic tower rising into the sky. Which was probably the intent of the architects who had designed it. Rei watched Shinji take the Maitre'd by the arm and whisper a few words to him. He returned a half minute later, and they both continued on to the elevator. One of the elevators, anyway.

The Maitre'd watched them go, slight amusement evident on his composed features. The boy was obviously some rich kid out to impress his girlfriend. He doubted they were sixteen, as the boy had said, but he decided not to report it.

The two stepped into one of the empty elevators. There were multiple elevators all situated around the tall spindle, semi-recessed into the structure. The elevators themselves were circular as opposed to rectangular, and the outer semicircle was transparent, so that the guests could see outside as they ascended. Shinji chuckled slightly as they rode upwards, and Rei looked at him questioningly.

"I suppose this would be more awe-inspiring if we weren't Eva pilots..." he said, humor evident in his voice.

"True," she nodded.

This did not keep them from appreciating the view as they rose into the sky. The doors slid open, and they were escorted to their table. The room was dimly lit to provide a better view during the evening hours. All of the furniture, tables, and chairs were made of wood, which offset the dim lighting and made for a warm atmosphere. They were seated at a table for two right next to the panoramic floor-to-ceiling window that curved out of sight in either direction.

"What would the lady and gentleman like to drink?" the waiter asked. He surveyed his charges, wondering at their young age. This wasn't the first time exceptions had been made, however, and apparently they had the money.

"Green tea is fine," Shinji answered, glancing at Rei, who nodded. The waiter swept away to get their drinks. After briefly surveying the plush room, Rei put her elbow on the table, her chin on her hand, and gazed out over the cityscape. Shinji watched with some amusement, noting that unlike her usual pose in class, where her eyes were half-lidded, she was more wide-eyed at this sight.

"What do you think about when you stare out the window?" Shinji asked.

She assumed he was referring to what she did during class, but in any case the answer was the same. "This is what we protect," she answered softly, gesturing out to the city and the people below. "These are the people to whom we are bonded."

Shinji remembered her saying something similar before they fought the fifth Angel.

"_Ayanami, just why do you pilot this thing?" he had asked. He knew that on some level she suffered just as much as he did when piloting the Eva. He had seen her lying on the hospital bed, in pain, after the abortive activation of Unit-00._

_She looked down, thinking for a few moments before looking back up. "Because I'm bonded to it."_

"_You're bonded..." Shinji had echoed questioningly. He had never heard her talk like this. Then again, he hadn't heard her talk much at all. She probably talked to him more than anyone else. _Well, except for my father, _he thought_._ Atleast on this matter, he envied the man._

"_Yes." she answered. "It's a bond."_

"_You mean... to my father?" He assumed she meant the bond of duty, or something similar._

"_To all people."_

_That answer had bewildered him even more. It wasn't until Third Impact that he began to understand what she meant._

The waiter returned with a white porcelain tea service, which he set on the table. "Do you need menus?" he asked.

"Maybe you could suggest a good vegetarian dish," Shinji answered. "This is our first time here."

"In that case, I know just the thing," the waiter said. "We serve an excellent Kitsune Udon with vegetables."

Shinji looked at Rei, who spoke to the waiter, "That would be acceptable."

"Very good, madam." The waiter left, glancing back and smiling slightly. He'd never seen hair that shade of blue before. The two were very well behaved for their apparent ages.

Shinji poured her tea, and then his, and handed her the cup.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the cup. She put it to her lips, tasting the tea.

Shinji lifted his own cup, taking a sip. "That's certainly better quality than I'm used to," he said, his eyes widening.

"It is," she agreed.

Then again, he usually got his tea from a vending machine.

"So what else do you enjoy besides gymnastics?" Shinji asked.

"Well, I do a little Jujitsu," she answered.

Shinji almost sputtered for a moment, setting down his cup. "How have you found the time to learn two such intensive disciplines?"

"All my life I have done nothing but my responsibilities," she explained. "That, combined with neuro-training techniques, is how." Having had no practice at small talk, she decided to return the question. "How about you?"

"Hah. Well, I play the cello, but I'm only good at that because I practiced since I was five," he said, slightly embarrassed. "I guess other than that, the only thing I'm good at is piloting the Eva."

"Piloting the Eva is enough."

Shinji didn't know what to say to that. He remembered her earlier statement before fighting the fifth Angel.

"_I have nothing else."_

He supposed that while they were in the resets, none of them had anything else besides piloting the Evas. He turned back to the slowly turning view, and so did she. Several minutes later, their food arrived.

"Shinji, what is this?" Rei asked, chewing slowly and enjoying every minute of it.

"Deep fried tofu. I wish Misato had a deep fryer, but I'm still breaking her of the instant-food habit."

"This would do it," Rei said, as she continued eating.

"You're probably right. Of course, now that I have the money, I can get one on my own, I guess," he said wryly.

Neither of them said anything else as they finished the delicately spiced and prepared noodle dish.

The waiter soon returned with two small bowls of Anko. "On the house," he said to Shinji. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, thank you," Shinji said, accepting the wireless tablet and signing it, giving the man a generous tip.

"Thank _you_, sir," he said, bowing and leaving them to their dessert. They both slowly enjoyed the sweet bean paste, as they watched the ever turning view of Tokyo-3, the afternoon sunlight glinting off the mirror-surfaces of the massive skyscrapers stretching skyward around them.

* * *

After he walked her home from where the bus left them, they stood by the door to her apartment.

"Thank you, Shinji, I enjoyed that."

He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him, putting a finger on his lips. "Technically, that was only our first date. Don't you know the kissing rule?"

He paused for a moment, and was about to turn to leave when he saw the laughter in her eyes. She put both arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"You got me on that one," he admitted with a smile when she released him.

She was about to turn to go into her apartment, when she stopped, took his hand, and dragged him inside. "Might as well not waste the rest of the day. Let's continue your training."

_Back to work, I guess, _Shinji thought, as he followed her. They both rested for about an hour to give their stomachs time to settle, and then she took him through several of the gymnastics exercises she had taught him. After a half hour of that, she spoke.

"The warm-up is now over."

"W-warm-up?" he echoed.

"Now we start your martial arts training."

He gulped.

* * *

Several hours later, he managed to drag himself home without collapsing into a heap anywhere along the way. After what she'd put him through, he considered that a miracle. And yet even while every part of his body ached, his heart sang, and he couldn't wipe the grin off of his face.

He made it to his room where he found clean clothes. He wanted nothing more than a bath and a good night's sleep. As he staggered towards the bathroom, Misato's bedroom door slid aside to reveal her in her NERV uniform.

Her eyes goggled. "Shinji! What happened to you?"

"Rei is training me in gymnastics and jujitsu."

Misato sputtered through a few sentences, having no idea what to say to that. Shinji closed the door to the bathroom.

"Right." Misato finally said in a small voice. "Um, I guess we'll talk later. I've got night shift, so I'll see you tomorrow..."

"Bye, Misato!..." she heard his muffled reply. Despite his state, he sounded cheerful, which was at odds with the depression she'd last seen him in. She shook her head, deciding she'd find out what was going on eventually. She didn't want to be late again and give Ritsuko yet more ammunition against her.

* * *

The next morning, just as Shinji opened his eyes, everything went black around him.

* * *

He sat up, brushing sand from his hair and waiting for Asuka to explain to him why she had brought him to the post-Third-Impact reality again. _Amusing that I'm actually getting used to this, _he thought.

He looked over at where Asuka stood, backlit by the reddish tinge the rising sun gave as it bounced off the orange sea. He half-smiled. Their dance pad game. She had found it somehow. _That's right, the next Angel is the twin Angel_, he thought.

"Let's go, Third Child." Asuka said, not looking at him, her voice slightly more subdued than usual. "We're not leaving here until I think we can beat the Angel."

So she _had_ decided to fight it this time. Well, he wouldn't be the one to disappoint her. He set his mouth in a hard line. "Right."

* * *

They sat in the two lawn chairs, watching the setting sun. The silence, while somewhat uncomfortable, was better than a few of the conversation topics that Shinji could think of. He wondered briefly what methods she used to... bring herself here. Despite his constant mental accusations of her being psychotic and unstable, he had a hard time actually thinking about whether she actually killed herself every time she came here. Maybe there was another way to get here. He certainly didn't know, but he hadn't really experimented with it.

He shuddered. Ayanami was back, but he wasn't sure he would ever trust himself again. He was perfectly happy that Asuka was the one in control of things. After all, the resets had not dissolved into chaos, so she obviously had more mental stability than he did. Asuka wasn't crazy, just... driven. Or something. He had to admit to himself that he really _didn't_ understand her. Several minutes passed.

"We'll... probably be ready tomorrow, don't you think?" He looked over at her. "We're doing pretty well together already..." He knew his gymnastics training was atleast partially responsible for that. He remembered her earlier comments while they trained,

_"Shyst!" Asuka yelled, throwing her headset to the ground. Shinji had once again missed a beat, which had thrown Asuka off. "So much for synchronization! I could never sink down to the level this... animated turd of blues is at!"_

She had been right, Shinji knew. The only reason Rei had been able to synch with him and follow his movements in the dance-pad game was because of the high degree of control she had over herself.

Asuka spoke. "Ayanami's memory has returned." It wasn't a question, and Shinji wasn't sure how to respond. She continued looking straight ahead.

"Yeah." He finally said. Her eyes were shut. He wasn't sure she even heard him. He closed his eyes.

* * *

He jerked awake, panicking for a second, then remembered where he was. It was a warm night, as usual in Tokyo-3, but he'd found some shorts and a light shirt earlier during the day. He glanced to his left. Asuka was gone. He looked back over his shoulder. The car was gone as well. He turned back to look at the night sky with a sigh. He wished there was someone he could talk to. He'd never had this kind of problem before.

_Kaji._ He thought. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it till now. He closed his eyes and waited for morning.

* * *

_I hate him._ She drove on, not seeing any of the buildings or scenery. The night was utterly devoid of the usual cricket noises.

_I refuse to be part of some twisted harem._ Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. Buildings, both broken down and still standing, rushed by on both sides.

_I refuse to be second choice!_ Her hair flapped furiously as she sped along.

_I refuse to try to chase him when it's obvious he likes someone else!_ The vaguely diamond-shaped remains of the fifth Angel loomed in the distance, never having been completely disassembled.

_I hate him. I hate him!_

Tears leaked from her eyes and were whipped away by the wind. The scenery blurred around her. She jammed her foot on the brakes, the car careening through a half circle and coming to a halt. She shut her eyes, moisture trailing down to her chin.

_Why can't I hate him?_


	15. Chapter 15: Epilogue of Part 1

Chapter 15

Shinji groaned as he got out of bed. He and Asuka had been training for long enough that he'd forgotten that the night before Asuka had pulled him into post-Third-Impact, Rei had been teaching him jujitsu. Every part of him was still sore to some extent, even with the night's rest. He looked over at his alarm. He had apparently reset it before Asuka snatched him, because it was reset to an early enough time that he could walk Rei to school. With some effort, he managed to dress himself, and then went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Misato's door slid open, and she sniffed the air, drifting over to her seat. Shinji smiled, remembering the previous reset. He took a cup of coffee to her, and she again drank it down unknowingly.

"What the hell..." She stared at the cup in confusion. "...you tricked me!" she exclaimed as he set breakfast in front of her. "Oh, that's no fair..." she moaned, as she started eating.

He sat down with his own plate and also began eating.

"Oh! Hey, you didn't think I'd forget last night, did you?" she mumbled around a mouthful. She sure as hell wasn't going to let him get away without teasing if he was going to keep her from her Yebisu. "How did you get Rei to open up and start teaching you things like that? Are you two an item?" her eyes twinkled, for she knew she had him.

"Yeah, we are," was all he said, with a contented smile.

It floored her. He didn't act embarrassed or anything. "But, just a day ago you were all depressed because you had blown it with a girl, and now you suddenly have a full-blown relationship with another one?"

Shinji had to do some quick thinking. He finally came up with what was closest to the truth, and yet made sense to someone outside the time-loops. "Well, it was actually Rei who I blew it with," he admitted. "You know how she's so closed off, right?" Misato nodded in answer. "Well, we were getting to know each other, and everything was going fine until, I must have made some mistake, or said something that she didn't understand, and that was it." He looked down at his lap, the feelings of sorrow at what he had done were real enough, he didn't have to fake that. "But... she must have thought about it, and now she understands, I guess, because everything's okay now." He gave a weak smile. "I'm just happy she likes me again." Which was true.

Misato sat, trying to understand. "Wow. I didn't even realize." She found it slightly strange that he'd managed to get to know Rei without her noticing any visible signs. Then again, Shinji _had_ always been quiet and reserved. "Well, I'm glad everything's okay!" she said with a smile, her eyes forming upside-down U's. "This is really good," she said, continuing to eat. His cooking was good anyway, but it was better when he was happy. It was good to see the boy opening up. _Thank you, Rei._ She said silently. They were both apparently good for each other, because she was obviously opening up as well. Atleast to him.

* * *

The three Children were silent as they walked to school. Shinji felt Asuka's eyes on him and Rei, and knew that she was ill at ease. He wished he knew why. He had found it easier to read her emotions and mood since their training for the twin Angel. She wasn't... angry at him. He knew that. He had expected some sort of negative reaction to him making her lunch, even though he knew she would appreciate it inwardly.

_The door to Asuka's apartment slid open. She was fully dressed and ready to go. She looked at the two of them, waiting. They turned to go, and she followed._

"_Oh," Shinji said, remembering, "I made you lunch." He turned, holding it out to her. She accepted it without a word. For him, that was as good as a 'thanks,' because he had expected her to snap at him, or something, like she usually did._

_As for Asuka, she had felt a twinge of anger and pride, but she knew from looking at his face that he had not done it out of pity. She too had found it easier to read him after their training. In some ways it made things worse. She clearly saw his feelings for the First Child. And now he had done this for her, out of what? Friendship? She had always been unkind to him. In her own mind, she had been trying to change him into someone with more of a backbone, but she had never truly succeeded. And now the First had done just that. She had opened him up. Asuka pushed the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts from her mind. She had a battle coming up, and she would need a clear mind for it._

* * *

Ritsuko sat in her office, working away at her terminal.

"Oh!" She jumped slightly as she felt someone suddenly embrace her from behind.

"You've lost some weight."

"Oh?" She knew Kaji's ways, but it still felt good to be the object of such attention.

"You're enduring an unrequited love," Kaji said in a wise voice.

"Really," she said as Kaji pulled her back towards him. "You're so very sure, are you?"

She smiled as Kaji reached across with a hand and turned her face towards his own, which was now resting above her shoulder.

"A woman with a mole like a tear on her cheek is doomed to a life full of heartache and sorrow."

"If you're trying to put the moves on me, I'm afraid you can't." She eyed the window, where Misato stood, her hands against its surface, anger distorting her features. "Not while that face is pressed against the glass, anyway." The humor was clearly evident in her tone, and Kaji stood up, eyeing the angry face outside with his usual lackadaisical smile. He chuckled as Misato gritted her teeth in a snarl audible through the thick glass.

"It's been quite a while, Kaji." Ritsuko said, looking up, happy in this case for the interruption from her work.

"It's been a while, alright." He answered, picking up her untouched paper cup of coffee.

"You know, you're not as discreet as I remember." She said sarcastically, as the sliding door opened.

"He ain't never been discreet in his life!" Misato snapped, storming in. She strode past the desk, then stopped and addressed Kaji angrily. "You finished handing over Unit-02, haven't you? _What_ are you still doing here?"

"I received orders this morning that I'll be staying around." Kaji said, blithely ignoring Misato's tone and demeanor. "So, gorgeous, we can hang around again, just like we used to!" He gave her a winning smile.

"...rrrr, don't flatter yourself!" Misato bit out the words. She was just about to wind up and rip Kaji a new one when the wall monitors behind her lit up with red emergency symbols. She gasped and turned around as the main alarm began to sound. "Enemy attack??" she exclaimed, near hysterical.

* * *

Central Dogma was alive with activity.

"We just received this report from the Battlecruiser Haruna!" the speakers blared. "'Have detected huge submerged object off the Kiyi Peninsula.' Sending data."

"Got it." Shigeru reported. "The data's been analyzed. Wavelength pattern confirms it. It's an Angel."

Fuyutski stood up, having heard all he needed to hear.

"All personnel. Go to First Stage alert!"

* * *

The three pilots got the alert while still in class, and they all left for NERV HQ.

"Am I correct in assuming you will fight this time, Pilot Soryu?"

"Of course," Asuka said, slightly exasperated, but not really angry.

None of them said anything else the rest of the way there.

* * *

"Alright," Misato was all business as usual when she was at work, and especially when NERV was at a high alert status. "Second and Third Children, you will be our front-line, and engage the Angel at the edge of Tokyo-3. First, you will act as backup, and engage the Angel if it breaks through the other two.

"Yes ma'am."

The Major turned back to Shinji and Asuka. "You two will be launched directly into the airport launch tunnel. Proceed directly to the two air-transports waiting for you."

"Why don't we just walk to the edge of the city?" Asuka asked.

"Because every time you take a step, you cost the reconstruction crews several hundred thousand yen to replace the concrete."

* * *

"The recent battle has severely damaged Tokyo-3's intercept system." Misato told the two Eva pilots, giving them the same speech they had heard several times before. Below the two massive air transports carrying the Evas, a flight of VTOLs moved off in the direction of the Angel's projected route. "Only twenty-six percent of our defense capability has been restored." she continued. Shinji's mouth was a hard line of concentration. He and Asuka had not spoken through the last day of practice. They hadn't needed to. It was hard for him to believe, be it seemed as if they had surpassed their old level of synchronization.

"...therefore we're going to have to intercept the target at the water's edge, right before it makes land! Units-01 and -02 will mount a coordinated attack in a series of waves. In other words: close in and take turns!"

"Roger!" both pilots said in unison. Half a minute later, the restraining bolts let go, and both units fell from the sky.

* * *

The Angel rose from the water, pausing before the two Evas. A heartbeat later, the three combatants moved, the battle beginning. As they fought, Shinji marveled. The differences between fighting with Rei and fighting alongside Asuka was like the differences between a chess computer and a chess Grand Master. While the computer is technically proficient with flawless memory, the Grand Master brings the sparkling sacrifices and daring attacks that only the human element can provide. Perhaps Misato had seen the potential for this, and thus had paired them up that first time. Both pilots could see that their improvement was such that there was no need to use Tokyo-3's built-in defenses. In a series of attacks and parries, they led the Angel out along the man-made reef formed by Old Tokyo's ruined buildings. The umbilical cables reached their limits, releasing simultaneously. The umbilical plugs fired their retro-rockets just before entering the water, making twin splashes.

The fight reached its climax with forty seconds of battery life remaining. Both Evas dodged an energy blast, then lashed out with their right feet, sending the halfway-combined Angel backwards into the air. They pushed off, pursuing it, and catching up to it when it came to a sudden stop, slamming into one of the partially submerged buildings. Both Eva's drew their prog knives as one and slammed them into the Angel's midsection. Time seemed to slow down, as Shinji noticed that Asuka's aim was off. Or was it? He spared a quick glance at a side screen.

_No..._

He thought furiously. It was a long shot, but it was her only chance. He turned his Eva, jamming his arm and part of his shoulder through the middle of the half separated Angel, and re-spread a modified AT field. His half of the Angel exploded, the plume of energy shooting out diagonally, reflecting off Shinji's field. He knew Asuka was going to need all of her concentration. She purposefully moved her prog-knife. As the explosion petered out, Shinji turned, grabbing the remaining Angel from behind around its midsection just as it attempted to throw Asuka off and escape. He extended Eva's other hand towards NERV HQ. His eyes narrowed. This part he _hadn't_ refined.

* * *

The control room erupted in cheers as the explosion washed over the combatants, obscuring the battlefield. Fuyutski smiled. _The Commander will be pleased._

As the explosion cleared, the monitors began to fuzz.

Shigeru turned. "Sir! I'm registering a... another AT field. We're being jammed!" Fuyutski's smile froze.

"Did half the Angel survive?" Ritsuko asked, trying to break through the jamming.

"Asuka! Shinji! Get out of there! Retreat!" Misato yelled. The monitors began to clear, revealing Unit-02 kneeling, holding something. Asuka slammed her prog-knife into the Angel's heart just as it escaped from Shinji's grasp. The Angel's explosion funneled upwards, Unit-01's wings faintly visible this time as Shinji, near his mental contamination limit, desperately kept the explosion off of Asuka.

In the control room, Fuyutski closed his eyes, sighing in relief.

_I'm getting too old for this._

* * *

As Shinji turned the corner in the hallway, heading for the shower, he saw Asuka. She walked up, her expression perhaps unreadable to any other person. But, for now atleast, he complemented her and she complemented him. He clearly saw the gratitude on her face. She put her hand on his shoulder momentarily, looking at him, then walked away. It was only a moment, but for Shinji it might as well have been a lifetime. The unspoken thanks was worth more than all the verbal praise he had received in all of his experiences up until now.

* * *

The three Eva pilots, Misato, and Ritsuko all sat around Misato's table, celebrating over dinner. Ritsuko shuddered slightly as she swallowed.

_I know Shinji and Asuka are supposed to be the guests of honor here, but she could've atleast let him cook..._ she moaned to herself. Misato ignored her, gobbling away happily.

Ritsuko glanced at Rei, who was quietly eating her vegetable Miso, showing no sign at all of whether she liked or disliked the cooking. _I'm surprised she accepted the invitation. She usually avoids contact with people._

"I'm really proud of you two." Misato exclaimed happily. They both looked away, acting embarrassed.

Misato hid her grin. _Wow. Synchronized fidgeting. Wonder how long that'll last?_

They both must have noticed, because they turned to each other, "Hey, just because you're embarrassed, doesn't mean that..." they yelled in unison. "No! That was you!"

"Hmph!" They both turned away. Ritsuko chuckled.

"Looks like they've rubbed off on each other..." said Misato.

"Wha-at??" Shinji and Asuka both had horrified expressions.

* * *

Misato set down her beer and stretched, the remains of dinner now stagnating on the plates.

"Well, guys, I'm heading to bed. I've got nightshift tomorrow... Rei, it's quite a ways back to your apartment. Do you want me to drive you?"

"No ma'am. I've moved. I'm closer now." Ritsuko looked up in surprise when she said this.

"Wow!" Misato said, yawning. "Everybody seems to be moving these days. The two apartments right beside us are getting new tenants as well.

"That is where I moved." spoke Rei, her voice impassive as usual.

Misato did a double take. "You can afford that?"

Shinji smiled, momentarily looking like Kaji, his confidence high. "No, but I can!"

"What?" Misato was stunned. "Shinji, I'm your guardian. You weren't supposed to be able to access that money without my consent."

Asuka eyed him in surprise. "You actually did it, Third Child?"

"You had any doubt?"

"At the time I asked you to, I did." Asuka answered quietly, finishing her tea.

"What's going on here?" Ritsuko asked, unable to make heads or tails of this new conversation.

"Shinji won the lottery." Misato said, her hands on her hips. Ritsuko's eyes bugged out, and she spewed the beer she was drinking.

* * *

Misato looked in the door of the adjoining apartment, her eyes wide.

Asuka looked around her shoulder, a look of surprise on her face. She turned to Shinji, "How did you get my stuff here??"

Shinji smiled proudly. "Kaji."

Rei walked past to the next apartment down. As she keyed the door, she glanced up at Shinji, and their eyes met.

* * *

"It was... awfully nice of Shinji to get you this apartment." Misato said, touching a few of the many DHL moving boxes as she looked around in shock. She turned back to the door. Shinji had gone. Asuka gave her a knowing smile, privy to secret information and happy to show it off.

"But how will you afford the rent? Is Shinji paying for that too?"

"Of course not!" Asuka said, some of her old haughtiness still evident in her voice. "I've got my own source of funds." The battle had released a lot of the tension within her. She smiled inwardly. Perhaps all she had needed was a good fight. Plus, she had completed her... special mission that she had been planning for some time now. It was fortunate that She and Shinji had synched so well. Without his help, she doubted she would have been successful. She found herself reassessing his battle-worthiness.

* * *

Rei's apartment still had a sparse look to it, despite all the furniture being new. She had more than twice the belongings she had crammed into her old apartment, but it still did not completely fill the new space available to her. Shinji lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, his hands clasped over his stomach. She sat at the end of the couch, his head in her lap, her eyes closed, running her fingers through his hair.

_Unfamiliar ceiling,_ he thought with a smile, closing his eyes.

End of Part 1

* * *


	16. Chapter 16: Dude, where's my car?

Chapter 16

The image came up on the screen with the protracted tone that indicated analysis was taking place. Figures scrolled across the image. Ritsuko frowned. What had Unit-02 been doing? The fuzzy picture showed her kneeling, Unit-01 holding the other half of the Angel and making some sort of gesture. The screen started to show the fuzz of when the jamming had begun, more figures quickly scrolling by. Her eyes widened.

* * *

Asuka hovered over earth, planning. She enjoyed coming here to make her plans. There was no pressure, because it was essentially outside of time. Unfortunately, as of late, errant thoughts kept cropping up.

_Shinji._

She violently shoved the thought from her mind. The boy was setting himself up to be a womanizer, just like Kaji. She sighed, letting the anger seep away. That wasn't entirely fair. It was just... circumstances, that had brought Shinji and Rei together. And after they had freed each other from the introverted shackles they had previously worn, it was only natural that there be something between them. It...

"What's... going on here?"

_gyahh!_

She quickly turned, panic on her face, her hair going every which way in the pseudo-weightlessness. She stared. The confusion and slight fear was something she'd never seen on his features before.

_He can't be here..._

* * *

Gendo sat at as he usually did when thinking, his white gloved hands obscuring his face, elbows leaning on his desk. He considered what Ritsuko had reported to him. Unit-02 obtaining an S2 engine would perhaps be useful in the future. What was more disturbing was that Shinji had attempted to hide what she was doing even from NERV's own sensors. Still, the boy didn't really know anything. It was natural for him to want to hide something like this. It made him uneasy that his pilots were making what were essentially unauthorized upgrades to their Evas, but as long as it coincided with his own plans, he wouldn't stop them.

"Who else knows about this?" he asked.

"No one." she answered. "None of our satellites picked it up. I doubt anyone else's could have either. Everything was too obscured by the explosion and upwelling of dirt and debris from the destruction of Alpha." she returned to the short-hand names for the two halves of the sixth Angel. "The only reason we have any data at all is because of our sensors on the ground, which were not obscured by the dust overhead."

"Destroy all the records. No one must know." This could prove useful if he could keep the knowledge of it from the Old Men. Ritsuko nodded, turned to go, then paused.

"There's one more thing." she said hesitantly.

"Go on."

She pulled out a small photograph, setting it before him on the desk.

"Shinji seems to have developed a... friendship, with Rei." She was unsure of how to continue. While it seemed improper to her, this was the Commander's son and his pet project that she was talking about. She did not want to say something that might get her into trouble later. After several long moments, Gendo spoke.

"Watch them." he said, not looking up. "Keep me informed. Do nothing without consulting me first."

"Yes sir." Ritsuko left.

* * *

Asuka woke up on the beach, and frantically sat up, looking around. Not seeing Kaji, she flopped back onto the sand with a sigh of relief. She had been thinking about Kaji, and he had appeared. Shinji was atleast partially right. This was dangerous. _Well, no more idle thinking while I'm in that other place,_ she thought with a sigh. Atleast while she was here in the post-Third-Impact reality, things seemed to be more solid. Her eyebrows came together. Just one more thing to add to the list. Picking herself up and dusting herself off, she walked over to the mini-refridgerator. She stopped, her spine tingling. She looked over her shoulder. It wasn't there. She looked all around.

_My car... What happened to my car?_

* * *

Gendo stared at the photograph, obviously taken with a telephoto lens, showing Shinji and Rei walking down the street, hand in hand.

_Well, atleast the boy's got good taste._

He'd been showing a lot of initiative lately. Gendo wasn't sure whether that meant that he could be groomed into more of a position of trust, or that he needed to be even more closely monitored. All he'd ever wanted was to make his son happy, but he simply didn't know how. Especially since the death of the boy's mother. Well, the boy now had both his mother's soul (in Unit-01) and part of her physical form (in Rei). If he couldn't find happiness in the midst of all that...

_I wish you well, son. As long as I get to be with my Yui, in the end..._

* * *

Penpen bent down and sniffed his food appreciatively. One good thing about the boy's new potential mate, she kept him happy enough that he usually cooked even when it wasn't his turn. This meant that the food was more palatable than usual. He was lucky he hadn't yet been turned into an alcoholic the way Misato kept putting down Yebisu with his meal whenever she fed him. He always drank a little of it out of respect, but never the whole thing. _I'll have to find some way to thank this potential mate of his,_ Penpen thought as he began to eat.

* * *

Shinji knelt, facing Rei, in her new apartment. He wore a white gi-top and loose white draw-string pants, so that his uniform now matched hers.

They both put their hands together in the gesture of respect,

"Shinkin haramitsu daikomyo!" they yelled in unison. It was an ancient Japanese phrase that hardly anyone could translate any more. In this context it basically meant, 'May my next act bring Enlightenment.'

They both bowed to each other,

"Onagaishimasu." The phrase roughly meant, 'Please do me a favor,' or in this context, 'Please teach me.'

All the meticulous details of the discipline were foreign to him, but she had insisted. He had questioned her about it early on.

"_Why can't we just train like we are?" Shinji had asked, genuinely curious. He knew she wouldn't take the question as a sign of disrespect, or a complaint. She still took most things literally these days._

"_Training requires respect and discipline," she had answered. "You show respect to the art by wearing the traditional clothing while training, by following the rituals, and by showing deference to your fellow students."_

"_I don't have any fellow students," Shinji said, half-smiling._

"_I am your fellow student," she said solemnly. He dropped the smile, seeing how serious she took this. The least he could do was follow her example. She continued. "No matter how well trained, one can always learn from another. Even if the other has only just begun along the path." His eyes widened. It seemed... odd hearing such a speech from someone so young, but he had grown used to it from her. She continued. "Show respect to the art, and it will show respect to you. You will find yourself paying close attention, and your improvement will be rapid. If you become lax in your respect, you will cease to learn."_

The stood, faced each other, bowed again at the waist, and began circling, sizing each other up. She always sparred with him before each lesson, to see where he needed to improve, and to shape each lesson accordingly. They came at each other, gripping each other by the fore-arm and the front of the clothing. Kumi-uchi, she had called it.

Shinji once again marveled at how she moved. It felt like he was fighting a limp towel. He wasn't able to gain a solid grip at all, nor was he able to feel any of her intentions. He felt a slight resistance in her hip, and turned to take advantage of it. As he prepared to throw her, however, he found it had been a ruse, and ended up on his back, having been slammed to the ground. Blinking away stars, he looked up and saw her upside down head where she leaned over him. Her pastel-blue hair softly contrasted against her white uniform, and her deep red eyes were solemn. She wasn't even breathing hard.

"You're too tense, Pilot Ikari." She always reverted to formal names during training. "Your body tells me exactly where it is going. You must learn to flow. If the enemy pushes, you must give way. But always in an unexpected direction. Take the enemy where he does not expect to go, and you will have him. We will do body exercises today. You must learn to control yourself, or it will be the enemy who controls _you_."

"Hai," he answered, getting to his feet. 'Yes.'

And so that day they mostly did rolls, break-falls, and movement drills. At the end of that class, she again sparred with him, and he was pleased to note that he atleast held out longer than he had at the start. "Better," she told him, and a warmth spread through him. He could tell that he had improved. They knelt facing each other once more and bowed.

"Domo arigatou gozaimasu." Thank you very much. He still stumbled slightly over the old-style Japanese expression. Hardly anyone used the long form any more, preferring a simple 'Domo,' or 'Thanks.'

* * *

They rested as they usually did after their workouts, lying side by side on her bed. But this time, when Shinji heard the regular breathing that told him Rei was asleep, he slipped out of bed and went into the kitchen. He had smuggled the new deep-fryer he had bought into Rei's apartment using the sports bag in which he kept his training clothes. Along with the fryer, he had brought the necessary ingredients for the task at hand. He set it all out on the kitchen counter in an orderly fashion as the fryer brought the oil up to the proper temperature, and a pot of water came to a boil on the stove. The tofu had by then softened to the proper consistency, and he deftly cut it into chunks, and slid it off the cutting board into the boiling oil. He added the appropriate spices, put the lid on, and then measured out two servings of dry noodles into the boiling water. He chopped fresh vegetables and added them to the cooking pasta as well. He then looked around, making sure he hadn't missed anything.

Rei had been drawn by the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen, and when she saw what Shinji had done, she was stopped cold. He was making her the same dish they had eaten at the restaurant a week ago. His back was to her as he leaned over and lit the candle in the middle of the small table that he had set for two. He went back over to the counter, deftly mixed a few seasonings and spices in a bowl, and was in the middle of adding them to the cooking tofu when she found her strength again. She walked over and slipped her arms around his chest from behind him.

"What did I do to deserve this?" she whispered into his ear.

He turned his head in surprise and gladness. "I ask myself that whenever I see you, Rei."

He saw the tears glistening in her eyes as she covered his mouth with hers. He retained enough wits to turn everything down to a simmer so nothing would burn, and then he turned in her embrace and deepened the kiss. A shared heat rose between them, and they lost themselves in the happiness of the moment, their lips moving softly against each other as the delectable smells of the food filled the room.

* * *

Shinji had bought a tape player for her some time ago when she had seen him listening to his SDAT, and had questioned him on the subject. And so as the two of them ate, the soft music from one of his tapes filled the air around them. He found it harder and harder to keep eating, for whenever he looked up, he wouldn't want to take his eyes off of her. Finally he gave up with a sigh, and set his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands, unable to wipe the sappy grin from his face. She looked up from her empty plate, and her eyes seemed to dance with the flickering of the candle.

"Take it," he said, sliding his plate over to her. She finished it off with her usual efficiency.

* * *

He lay on his back in her bed, and she lay almost on top of him, on her stomach, her head turned to one side and resting on his chest. They were both still fully clothed, of course, too woozy from the exercise earlier in the day and from the food they had just eaten to do much else. Never in her life would she have guessed that she would find herself in such contentment. She had been created and raised for one purpose only, to cause Third Impact and give it over to the Commander's control. She had been given a very specific skillset so that she could pilot her Eva to the best of her ability. Gymnastics for body control, jujitsu for unarmed fighting techniques against the Angels, and several various knife-fighting styles since the Eva's primary close-range weapon was the prog-knife.

Shinji had opened her up, and was treating her skills like they were treasures. He practically looked up to her. It was difficult for her to fathom, since she had assumed that every Eva pilot would have been trained in such basic skills. He was the special one in her view. He managed to pilot his Eva superbly without the benefits of her extensive training. And he had introduced her to so many new experiences that she would have thought to be extraneous and wastes of time. He wanted to spend time with her. That, in her mind, was the most precious thing about him. He considered her worth spending time with.

All thoughts had fled from his mind long ago, and he just rested in the warmth of her embrace, moving his fingers slowly through her soft, blue hair. Tears of happiness ran down the sides of his face. This was the closest he had ever come to what he had felt when his mother was still alive.

* * *

The next day their fellow students all left for their class trip. He and Rei had held hands, watching them go, their friendly banter not even phasing them this time.

"_So long suckers!" Kensuke said, his camera in his hand, an enthusiastic grin on his face at the exciting new things he'd get to film._

"_Don't worry, I'll have enough fun for the both of you!" Touji said with a wave. Shinji sincerely doubted that._

There had been no argument with Misato, of course, and Asuka had disappeared to who knew where. She was undoubtedly making plans, Shinji thought. He and Rei eventually went to the pool, as they had in the original time-line, and found Asuka already there. They both changed into their bathing suits.

He watched in admiration as Rei pushed off from one end of the pool and swam underwater the entire length. She wore her usual one-piece white leotard swimsuit. More unusual was how she swam. She must have used the initial thrust off the edge of the pool as most of the force, because she literally swam like a fish, slightly undulating her body, as opposed to using her arms and legs. He had already tried, and knew he couldn't even make it halfway without having to come up for air. He smiled, and dove in anyway. He made it slightly farther than the halfway point, but he eventually had to surface and gasp for air. He reached the far end to find Rei hanging on to the edge of the pool watching him swim.

"How do you stay underwater for so long?" Shinji said between gasps. He was surprised at how much he had missed the first time through the time-line. Despite having become her friend later in the original time-line, he saw how little he really knew about her.

"Minimal and efficient use of movement along with breath-holding exercises." Rei answered. "You waste movement when you swim, which uses up the oxygen in your blood." She had an amusing idea, and smiled slightly. "However, there _is_ a quick way to improve how long you hold your breath."

"Really?" he asked. She turned and swam to the nearest ladder, and he followed. Reaching the ladder, she turned to face him.

"Hold yourself underwater for as long as you can," she said, and then pulled herself down the ladder to the bottom. He took a deep breath and followed. She likely wanted to see how long he could hold his breath before telling him anything. When he reached the bottom, he opened his eyes, and took the opportunity to just look at her. She had an elegant beauty to begin with, and her active lifestyle was probably what had made up for her bland diet. She had filled out just slightly in all the right places since he had been cooking for her. It was amazing in his mind that someone of her caliber liked him. As he looked into her eyes, he noticed that the blue tint of the water turned them from their usual red to a slight purple.

It was at this point that he began feeling the need to surface. He sincerely hoped her idea wasn't to hold him under by his ankles. He closed his eyes, desperately resisting the urge to breathe. _Knowing her unusual sense of humor, I wouldn't..._ As he was thinking, he felt her lips press into his. All thoughts left him as she melted passionately against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him close. This lasted for about fifteen seconds, and as her tongue moved sensuously against his own he began feeling a pressure building within him. He could not tell if it was the need to breathe, or his feelings for her. She finally released him, and they both surfaced. As he gasped for breath, he noticed that she was breathing deeply, but not hard.

"I think you broke whatever record you previously had," she said, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Y-yeah, probably. You kind of took my mind off my other needs."

"That was the point."

Asuka sat in the pool-room, but she was too engrossed in her own thoughts to notice anything around her. She wore her bathing suit under her sun-dress, but doubted she would take the time to swim. Her notebook lay on the table before her, and she unconsciously chewed on the eraser tip as she looked over the figures again.

"So what do you think about the Eighth?"

Asuka looked up to see Shinji drying his hair with a towel. On the other side of the room, Rei was drying off as well. "It shouldn't be a problem to kill it, now that we know its weakness."

"Yeah, I doubt we can get Misato to change anything. Not without looking suspicious."

* * *

"...it's some sort of chrysalis form that precedes the adult form we're familiar with." Ritsuko explained the mission to the three pilots. They all stood in the darkened room, around the table-top monitor which showed the video and graphics for the briefing. "This mission's prime objective will be to capture this Angel."

_Hah. Like that'll happen,_ Asuka thought. None of the pilots spoke up during the briefing, already knowing the details in any case.

"The designated pilot will Asuka in Unit-02. Shinji, you will be backup. Rei will remain here with Unit-00 in case another Angel attacks. Now that an A17 has been ordered, we've got to roll out immediately. Get ready."

"Roger!" the three pilots replied in unison.

* * *

After Asuka put on her plug suit, Ritsuko watched her out of the corner of her eye. The girl didn't ask about the difference between the heat resistant plug-suit and her usual suit, which was kind of a let down. She smiled, knowing well the girl's pride. "To activate the special coolant properties of that suit, press the button on your right wrist," she commented, in what she hoped was a casual voice.

"Okay," Asuka said, and began walking towards the entry plug.

"Well?" Ritsuko prodded her.

"Well what?" Asuka snapped. She was turned away from Ritsuko, so the smile on her face was hidden. "I'll do it when I get in the entry plug."

_Too bad,_ thought Ritsuko. _I'd have loved to see her reaction._

* * *

Units-01 and -02 flew towards the volcano, borne through the air by the familiar flying-wing shaped heavy transports.

_Well, I can't put off the inevitable,_ Asuka thought with a sigh. She pressed the appropriate button and cringed as her plug suit swelled up to the hideous size she remembered. "Jeez, it's difficult to even operate my pistol-grip controls in this horrid suit," she muttered. "I really loathe this mission..."

"Hey, what about me?" Shinji's comm box popped up on her display. He was wearing a smile so big that his eyes were upside-down U's. "I'll probably die of boredom. There'll be nothing for me to do but sit and watch you have fun killing..."

"Oh shut up!" Asuka screeched, but Shinji saw her humorous smirk in her comm box. "It's hot as hell in that damn volcano..." she groused.

Ritsuko's comm box popped up. "C'mon Asuka, how did you know about the suit?" she pleaded, her curiosity killing her. "Did you download the specs? Did someone..."

"I'll never tell!" the girl said sweetly. Shinji chuckled and closed his comm box.

* * *

"Eva Units-01 and -02 have arrived." Maya's voice echoed through the comm systems of the temporary camp that had been erected near the summit of the volcano. A Mobile Command tractor trailer rig served as the temporary command center for the operation.

"Have both Units stand by," Misato ordered. "Reposition the laser bore and stand ready on the crane."

Shigeru carried out her orders as Maya relayed her instructions to the pilots. Outside, the laser emitter slid along the crane arm to a position directly over the Angel's calculated position, fired a pulse down into the lava below, then continued on to the end of the crane arm.

Maya's voice came over the speakers. "Laser operation complete."

"The bore path has been secured," Shigeru reported.

"The Type-D equipment is functioning normally," Maya continued.

The bulbous, white extreme-environment suit that held Asuka's Unit-02 reached the laser emitter's previous position and stopped.

"Unit-02 is ready and in position."

"Understood." said Misato. "Asuka. Are you ready?"

"Ready when you are!" Her usually confident voice, while slightly subdued, still held the energy everyone had come to know.

"Let's do it!" Misato ordered, and the heavy-duty cooling cables began unspooling.

"Oh, man," Asuka moaned, "You never get used to this kind of heat!"

"Don't worry, when we get through here, there's a hot-springs not far from the base of the volcano. We'll go there, I promise." Misato sincerely hoped they would all survive so that she could fulfill that promise.

"Unit-02 is entering the lava." Maya reported.

* * *

"...depth, 1780. Unit has reached the corrected target depth." It had been the usual hairy few minutes, the diving suit creaking and groaning as it descended past its maximum allowed depth. Asuka stared intently at her screen.

"Shinji, it's not here."

"What?"

"I should've seen it by now..." she insisted.

* * *

Ritsuko frantically entered more projections into her terminal.

"I know I didn't miscalculate..."

* * *

Asuka narrowed her eyes, looking into the roiling lava.

"Wait, I see movement..." Shinji heard her voice in his speakers. Then he heard her surprised yelp, "What the!..." There was a horrible crackling sound. The crane cables jerked, then went still.

* * *

Over earth, Shinji stared at Asuka, whose hands were raised in front of her face, her teeth bared in what might have been fear, anger, or both.

"Well, that was unpleasant." she said, regaining her composure.

"I take it things did not go as smoothly as last time." Rei said, her passionless voice making the statement sound like dry humor. Asuka glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, her mouth a hard line.

* * *

"...depth, 1780. Unit has reached the corrected target depth." The diving suit creaked. Asuka gripped her prog knife, having dropped the electromagnetic cage in the process of saving it. She ignored Misato's ranting.

Shinji waited, the long silence unnerving. Then: "Son-of-a!..." This time there was a loud smash, and the crane cables swayed more visibly.

* * *

"Oh shut up!" Asuka yelled, turning towards Rei, her hair flying comically in the null-g. Shinji scratched his head in confusion.

"I wasn't going to say anything." Rei retorted softly.


	17. Chapter 17: Asuka goes berserk

Chapter 17

The sun, although directly overhead, reflected off the reddish-orange sea giving Asuka's red hair a darker tinge. She stood, looking out over the sea, shaking with rage. The beach was in disarray; the changing-screens were a tangled mess, the mini-fridge was toppled over, and the lawn chairs had been bent and thrown into the ocean. Even her beloved convertible was not unscathed. Shinji glanced behind him. It actually looked worse than Misato's car had looked after the third Angel attack. He and Rei sat cross-legged on the sand, trying not to draw attention to themselves.

"I wonder why she even brought us here..."

Rei turned her head to look at him. She did not differentiate whether the statement was rhetorical. She had, however, been around Shinji long enough to be able to guess whether he actually wanted an answer. She looked back towards Asuka, who at that moment turned, stalked past them, got into the wreck of a car, and screeched off in a roil of tire smoke. They both watched the car disappear into the distance.

"It's dangerous for her to be in control of the resets when she's like this..."

"She has been careful so far." Rei's placid voice startled him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, but for how long?"

"Pilot Soryu has more control than you give her credit for, or none of us would still be here."

Shinji looked at her in surprise. He wouldn't have expected Rei to defend Asuka. Then he turned away in embarrassment, remembering his own lapse in control, and what it had almost cost Rei. He considered her words for several moments, then looked back towards the ocean.

"You're right. I tend to still think of her as the same crazy old Asuka she used to be before... all this."

* * *

Asuka sat in the driver's seat of the stopped car, her knuckles white where she gripped the steering wheel. She paid no attention to the devastation around her, the buildings in various states of disrepair, or even the frayed end of an umbilical cable stretching into the distance, undoubtedly leading to one of the now-defunct power stations. Her rampage hadn't even satisfied her, since she could fix the damage so easily by simply going back to before she'd destroyed everything. And she still had yet to discover what had happened to her other car.

_Fifteen times._

No matter what she did, the Angel was always able to rip away the coolant cables that kept her Eva alive. Even knowing exactly which direction it would attack had not helped. It was like the Angel knew exactly what to do. She closed her eyes. There was still one option open to her, but she didn't want to use it. She'd experimented with it before, and the psychological toll was tremendous. She sat, wracking her brain, trying to come up with a plan that would work. Finally she gave up with a sigh, letting go of the wheel.

_I have no choice._

She reset herself back into her Eva, right before it was lowered into the lava.

* * *

"Maximum allowed depth plus 200!"

Asuka ignored the status reports, trying to bring to her mind the images that she needed. She floated deeper into the volcano, her prog-knife in one hand, the electromagnetic cage gripped in the other. She frowned, her eyes closed in concentration. She'd taken pains to save the cage this time knowing it would be easier to concentrate without Misato yammering at her for losing it.

"Depth 1780."

The Eva's eyes flickered once, then twice.

_It's not working... and the Angel is almost here..._

So, she would reset back further to give herself more time. She opened her eyes, looking out into the lava. She imagined she could see the Angel approaching, but knew there was no way with the poor visibility available to her. She was going to die again, in front of everybody. Of course, only one of those persons mattered, he being the only one who'd remember.

_Shinji_

It was no use. Her focus was ruined. A tear slipped from her eye and dissipated in the LCL, helped along by the sauna-like environment of her suit trying and failing to overcome the enormous heat at this depth.

_Why did things have to be this way? Why couldn't he have chosen me, like he did during Third Impact?_

She closed her eyes against the rising swell of emotions as the lava roiled outside. A dark shaped converged on her. Unit-02's eyes flared white inside the diving suit. Asuka gasped, feeling the effervescent presence of her mother.

* * *

"The connections are uncoupling. I'm losing the readings on the pilot!" Maya reported. Misato looked over her shoulder in alarm, watching the monitors.

"Could the pressure be too much?" She was gripped by cold fear. She'd let the Eva go too deeply, and she was about to lose a pilot. "Bring her up!" she snapped.

"No, that's not it." Said Ritsuko, engrossed in front of her own monitor. "The Unit's going berserk!"

Misato looked over, both relief and shock in her eyes. "Unit-02? That's impossible!"

* * *

As the Angel approached, its mouth opening to shred her precious coolant lines, the Eva screamed, jamming the frame of the electromagnetic cage into its mouth with enough force to bend it out of shape. The Angel writhed in confusion, giving Asuka the moment she needed. She sliced one of her coolant lines, shoving it into the Angel's mouth as she'd done the first time.

"Of course!" Ritsuko breathed, watching her monitors showing Unit-02's condition. Seconds later, she diverted all the coolant to the appropriate line.

Asuka watched as the Angel disintegrated, this time having failed to damage her remaining coolant lines.

"Get me out of here." she said, tonelessly.

* * *

Ritsuko replayed Unit-02's readings as they brought her up. She shook her head. Asuka's Eva was a production Unit. It was much more stable than the prototypes, yet obviously it was still possible for it to go berserk. This would require further study.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18: Necessary Bodily Functions

Chapter 18

Asuka brooded over recent events as she rode the escalator down into NERV HQ. Before the lava Angel's attack, Kaji had accompanied her as usual to buy a swimsuit and have lunch. She had kept up the inane chatter he was used to from her during lunch. In fact, she had, to the best of her ability, said the same things she'd originally said. In the middle of lunch, however, he'd caught her completely off guard.

_"You know, I seem to recall the strangest dream."_

_"Dream?" she'd asked, fear gripping her._

_"Yes." Kaji had said in that maddening way of his. "You were there, in fact. We were floating over earth."_

_She'd tried to blow him off, but he gave her that knowing smile, and mentioned that it was unusual to be walking down the street, then above earth, and then to be walking down the street again._

Through several resets, she'd tried to pry more information from him, but the man was insufferable, always able to divert her questions back on themselves. She'd finally done one more reset to erase his memory of her questions, and had gone on to fight the lava Angel. She sighed. There was no way to know what would come of this. She certainly wasn't going to try to mess with his memories as Shinji had accidentally done to Rei; not before she knew a lot more than what she knew now. She hated the idea, but it just might be necessary to experiment. But on whom? She shivered, pushing the unwanted train of thought from her mind. She would need all her wits about her for what she was about to do...

* * *

Their ancient professor had just walked in ten minutes ago, and was busy filling the board with complex calculations when Shinji's laptop beeped.

_Instant Message?_ he thought in surprise. The students around him were behaving normally, that is, there was a combination of intense note-taking, extreme boredom, and the occasional whisper. He checked the sender.

"Ayanami R."

His eyes widened in surprise. As far as he knew, she had never used the system. The message scrolled into view.

"When was the last time I checked your PH balance?"

This took Shinji a few seconds to puzzle out, and then he sweat-dropped, chuckling slightly. Her humor was still, shall we say, a little on the strange side. But however strange it was, she was getting funnier, he had to admit. His hands paused over the keyboard as he tried to think of a witty reply. She apparently became impatient at his lack of response, because she sent him another message.

"Lunch break is in forty-two point eight minutes, Pilot Ikari."

"Until then..." he typed, and sent it to her laptop. He looked up. She gave no physical indication of their conversation, continuing to stare intently at her laptop, fingers moving over the keys. He smiled to himself. She was one seat in front of him. She could have just turned around and whispered, but she was discrete as always. He turned slightly red. _Well, maybe not always._

* * *

"And so, humankind was about to face its greatest trial." the professor had wound himself up into the frenzy he always did when giving this particular boring lecture.

"In the last year of the twentieth Century, the massive meteor from outer space, slammed into the continent of Antarctica. The continent's ice-cap was melted almost instantaneously." sadly, in this case, being wound up into a frenzy only meant that he actually modulated his tone when he spoke. And he seemed to give this lecture or one like it atleast twice each semester.

"The water level of the oceans increased dramatically. The earth was thrown off its axis, and new devastatingly abnormal weather patterns were spawned. The lives of all living things on the planet were threatened. Several thousand species of the world's flora and fauna, and half of the world's human population were lost in the immediate aftermath of the disaster..."

Shinji did not even try to pay attention. He had heard this lecture atleast a dozen times already. His mind drifted back to the battle. Why had the Angel given Asuka so much trouble this time? This particular Angel was as fixed in the timeline as any of them could get. NERV detected it at a certain time, and they went and tried to capture it. There was no way for previous events to affect it. He glanced over to where Asuka usually sat. She was absent. And then there was the fact that he'd heard Unit-02 scream. She'd managed to get her Eva to go berserk at just the opportune moment. She'd obviously been conducting her own studies, as he was doing with the AT field. His thoughts chased each other this way and that as he mulled over what had happened until the bell rang.

* * *

"Stand! Bow!"

As he closed his laptop, he saw Touji stand up, yawning and stretching. Kensuke was right behind him, talking excitedly. Shinji knew that, like clockwork, Touji would be going to get the cafeteria lunch. Something niggled at the back of his mind. He felt something akin to an electric shock as someone touched his hand. He jerked his head up and saw Rei looking at him, her curiosity, while well hidden from anyone else, was evident to him.

"Oh! Sorry, just thinking." He stood, and they joined the stragglers leaving the classroom to find a place to eat. They walked, hand in hand, until they found a deserted side hall. They stepped into the shadow of a lonely row of lockers, and Shinji put his hand behind her head and pulled her to him. She closed her eyes. Unfortunately, their lips never had a chance to touch before everything went black.

* * *

He was again sitting in his seat. Thirty seconds later, the sliding door to the classroom opened, and the teacher stood there.

"Stand! Bow!"

Sitting in front of him, Rei turned to look out the window, her head resting on her hand.

_What's Asuka up to now?_ Shinji wondered. _She's resetting things for some reason._

He had helped her acquire Alpha's S2 engine. Knowing Asuka, she was probably preparing to wreak vengeance on the mass-production Evas who had ravaged her Unit-02. He turned somber, remembering the horrific scenes. He shook himself free of the depression that threatened to overcome him.

"...and so, humankind was about to face its greatest trial. In the last year of the twentieth Century, the massive meteor..." Shinji set both elbows on his desk, resting his chin in his hands. It wasn't just that the professor's oratory was dry, but everything that he was teaching about this particular subject was a lie... He sighed, turning back to his computer. Might as well research something important rather than waste time.

* * *

"Stand! Bow!"

He and Rei stood and left with everyone else. Their steps once again found the abandoned hallway, and their lips had just met when they found themselves back in the classroom.

_Oh damn it, what now??_ Shinji thought, exasperated.

In front of him, Ayanami half turned in her seat, her eyes flashing orange.

_Uh oh..._

She got up, grasping his hand. Her grip was like iron as she dragged him from his seat. He got his legs under him by the time they reached the door to the classroom. It slid aside, revealing the professor. He stood there, surprise on his features. Rei calmly put her left hand on his left shoulder and, without effort, flung him aside. The professor lay on the ground, mouth agape, watching his two quietest pupils walk down the hall, hand in hand.

_Most unusual..._ he thought, before slumping over and passing out from the stress.

* * *

"...mmm...mmmm!..."

When Rei finally pulled away from him slightly and let him up for air, her eyes had returned to their usual soft red. Shinji gasped, then looked down the hallway.

"We'll need to find a better hiding place this time..."

By the time the police had arrived and were closing in on them, they had reset again.

* * *

This time it was Shinji who got up and took Rei's hand. She looked up at him in surprise.

"There's no point staying in class." he said. She nodded after some hesitation. Shinji managed by some miracle to extricate them from the classroom without getting caught by the Class Rep, without running into the professor, and without getting filmed by Kensuke. The farther they got from the classroom, the more puzzled and excited Rei became.

"What are we going to do, Shinji?" Her passionless voice did not betray her emotions.

"We might as well see more of Tokyo-3." He said, then he put her arm through his, randomly chose a direction, and started walking. "And I'm just the one to show it to you." he said, mock-seriously.

She reached up and tweaked his hair.

"Don't try to fool me, Pilot Ikari. You don't know Tokyo-3 any better than I do."

"Then we'll both see it together."

* * *

"Ah!" he said, pointing. "I'll bet you've never had ice cream..." She picked her head up off his shoulder and considered the small storefront they were approaching.

They sat at one of the many umbrella-covered tables, Shinji watching as Rei happily worked her way through her mountain of chocolate. He had already finished his own gastronomical entree. He rested his chin on his hand. The self-doubt he had formerly wallowed in was no longer there, but to say that he was completely free of it would be a lie.

"Don't... take this wrong, Ayanami, but why do you like me?"

Her eyes sparkled with amusement.

"You really don't see that you've grown." She licked her spoon in pure bliss. Her own choice of food had been quite bland before she had met Shinji, and she had never experienced this kind of taste. "Rest assured, Pilot Ikari, that if you had stayed just the way you were, we would not be here now."

He scratched his head.

"Thanks, I think..."

She smiled at his discomfort.

"See, that right there is one of the reasons I like you."

"Wow, so sadistic..." his shudder was only partially an act.

* * *

The next reset, they chose a different ice cream concoction. On the third reset they continued deeper into Tokyo-3. Several resets later, curiosity finally got the better of him, and Shinji pulled out his cell-phone to find out what was going on. That Asuka even answered his call surprised him.

* * *

The three pilots lay back on towels, staring up into the night sky, the ocean of LCL lapping a few yards from their feet. Shinji had lost count of how many times they'd reset that one hour. It was slightly unsettling to never get physically tired for so long a period, but mentally he was beat. He was surprised Asuka had relented with so little arguing, and had let him and Rei join her in her project. He looked over at her.

"What made you want to study the MAGI?"

Asuka didn't even open her eyes.

"After all this time, Third-Child, you can still be naive." she sighed. "MAGI controls everything. Why _wouldn't_ we want to study it?"

He turned back to the night sky, slightly embarrassed. That wasn't what he'd meant, and not long ago he would've argued with her, afraid of what she thought of him. Now, he simply considered what she'd said.

This was not lost on her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, sighing. She closed her eyes, putting those thoughts from her mind. They would only distract her. She had one goal right now. She thought back, trying to sort out and make sense of all the new information swirling through her mind. It had been hard enough getting the training she'd gotten. Ritsuko hadn't even considered her request when she'd approached her with the desire to learn.

_"I've got too much to do already without teaching someone who doesn't know a thing about the low-level languages necessary for what you're asking. Besides, you're still in school. I admire your dedication, but you're a pilot, not a programmer."_

Her eyebrows twitched. She'd show her. It had taken her a while, but she'd finally convinced Maya to help tutor her. The woman only had an hour free to help, but that was enough. Asuka's grin was feral. She'd repeat that hour until she knew everything Maya knew. Ritsuko would eventually be forced to notice her...


	19. Chapter 19: Is this Angel a joke?

Chapter 19

At this hour, Central Dogma was all but deserted. The three Children sat in chairs pulled up in a semicircle around Maya, who was all smiles.

"Well, I have to say, you three really surprised me!" she was obviously proud of her would-be pupils. "I'm only sorry I couldn't teach you more. Asuka," the girl stood, obviously please with herself, her hands on her hips, "you really show ambition in this. You're the best programmer I've seen at your age!" She turned to Rei.

"Rei, your coding is almost machine-like. If you keep working on your typing skills, I'm afraid to think about what you could become." Rei stood quietly impassive as always, not showing any obvious reaction to the praise.

"Shinji..." the boy stood, smiling, scratching the back of his head.

"You don't have to make something up, ma'am..." he interrupted, slightly embarrassed.

"I can tell your heart's not in it, but you _are_ better than the majority of the programmers I've seen that are anywhere near you in age. If you wanted to, you could make a career out of it."

"It's just not something I'd choose, that's all." Shinji said.

Asuka glared at him. _Idiot. He's ruining my moment of triumph!_

She tossed her hair, turning her back on him.

* * *

As they left NERV HQ, Rei looked at Asuka.

"Does this mean we are finished resetting this hour?"

"Obviously!" Asuka exclaimed.

"Nothing is obvious at the moment, Pilot Soryu." Rei said quietly. "You never told us your plans. We still don't know what you're doing. Aren't you the leader of this group?"

"Well... But!..." Asuka fumed.

_Sneaky little vixen, she's tricked me! And I can't even get mad, because she's openly declared what I always tried to impose!_

"Fine, wondergirl... But don't think I don't know what you're pulling!" The three of them exited the squat armored building that served as one of the few entrances to the underground fortress. A limousene pulled up.

"Wow." Shinji breathed. "Wonder who that is..."

"Me, you dolt!" Shinji and Rei both sweat-dropped.

"I-isn't that kind of a waste of money?"

Asuka looked at him in disbelief, before resuming a haughty stance.

"Money runs like water while we possess the Tree of Knowledge, Third-Child." She rolled her eyes. "Mein Gott! Don't they teach kids anything about power these days? If it weren't for me..." her mutterings became incomprehensible as she ducked into the soundproofed interior. Shinji and Rei looked at each other. Seconds later they heard her yell,

"Would you two quit gauping and get in here?!"

Shinji jumped, "...uh, yes ma'am!" he said, before he could catch himself.

* * *

_Ah, for once everything is going pretty much according to plan..._ Asuka thought, drifting on the verge of sleep. An indeterminate time later, she was rudely awakened by someone sitting on top of her. She gasped, unable to breathe.

"Well, look what we have here!" she hear a smooth, silky voice as the world went black around her. "Maybe I'll have some fun with this one..."

* * *

Rage contorted her features as she floated over earth. She'd never felt such hatred. She closed her eyes, focusing.

_Think, Asuka!_

Who was this guy? What was... Baring her teeth, she knew she wasn't going to be able to think straight until she took care of this. She'd never felt so violated in all her life.

* * *

The non-descript looking man stood outside the door, looking at the photograph he was holding.

_Might as well go with the redhead first..._ he thought, opening the door. The last thing the would-be assassin felt was a sharp pain as something cracked against his skull.

* * *

He awoke with a splitting ache in his head, and found that his hands and feet were bound. He looked up. He appeared to be hanging from one of the circular emergency stairwells leading to the ground floor of the apartment. He was gagged as well. How had she known? As he tried to puzzle this out, the redhead he'd been sent to kill came into view.

"Ah, good, you're awake." she said, her tone deadly. Then she lifted the bat she was holding and broke both his knees.

"MMMMHMMMMHmmmmmm!..." He hadn't been prepared for the immediate pain. But what was she after? Even if he were willing, he couldn't tell her anything; he was gagged! He looked into her face and was horrified by what he saw. She began wailing on him indescriminately with the bat, and he mercifully blacked out several seconds later.

* * *

After the third reset of beating the guy into unconsciousness, she stopped to think for a minute.

_This is no good, he doesn't remember anything between resets..._

As she paused, leaning on the bat and holding her chin in thought, she came up with a truly horrible idea.

* * *

She hovered over earth, thinking.

_Now, what was it I did to get Kaji here?_

It didn't take long at all. This time she didn't send him back, as she'd instinctively done to Kaji, ejecting him from his brief sojourn in the resets.

* * *

The man awoke again. What had just happened? The redheaded girl stepped into view again, a truly vicious smile on her face.

"You and I are going to get very, very... _very..._ acquainted with each other." Despite his military and special forces background, he found himself trembling.

* * *

Asuka looked at the drooling, rumpled figure in disgust.

_He was hardly any help at all!_

She still wasn't going to risk Kaji's mind, having learned so little from her experimentation on this nameless assassin.

"Stupid piece of trash!" she snarled, kicking him down the stairs. He landed in a crumpled heap at a turn in the stairs.

_Maybe someone will find him. Eventually._

She turned to leave, questions still swirling in her mind. Who had sent this assassin to kill her? And why? What had she done differently to cause something so drastic? Or... maybe someone else was in the resets, and was silently making their own plans. She frowned at the thought. _Well, let'em come. I'm the one in ultimate control..._

* * *

"Unidentified object approaching NERV Central!"

"Place all operations on First Stage Alert!" Gendo ordered.

"Looks like the ninth Angel." Fuyutski said, from behind Gendo.

The status reports for the Evas came too close to one another to be intelligible unless the reports for one of them were singled out.

"Launch Evas!" Misato yelled, when all preparations had been completed. The three Evas shot upwards along their launch tracks, accompanied by showers of sparks.

* * *

The three Evas stood side by side watching the ninth Angel slowly approach the shore on its spindly legs.

"I wonder why we didn't lose power like last time," Shinji murmured.

"We do not know how we lost power, so it is almost useless to speculate," Rei spoke.

"Maybe there was an agent on the inside who cut the power last time, but this time he was... unable to complete his mission..." Asuka's voice had a kind of vicious quality to it that slightly disturbed Shinji.

"What makes you say that?" he asked.

"Oh nothing!" she answered cheerily. The three of them turned their attention back to the Angel slowly approaching their position.

"Pathetic." muttered Asuka. Shinji raised his rifle to put the wretched-looking creature out of its misery, but Asuka laid her hand on it, lowering it. "Wait. This poor excuse for an Angel might still serve a purpose." She walked over to it, broke all its legs off, picked up the body, and put it under her arm. "Okay, let's report back to..."

Shinji (and his Eva) pointed to Unit-02's midsection.

"...umm, you're kind of dripping..."

Asuka looked down at her eroding armor in disgust. "Eeeeww!" She dropped the Angel, stomping it repeatedly. "Stupid bug!" she wailed, "look what you did to my armor!!" After several more complaints and a few German curses, she looked down at the crushed Angel. She picked up her Eva's foot. "Ooh, my foot's ruined too, and the Angel's dead now..." she moaned. She closed her eyes and focused.

* * *

They were once again facing the Angel as it approached the shoreline.

"What?" Shinji said in surprise. "Y-you mean you don't have to... kill..." He had always assume she had to kill herself to get things to repeat. He realized with some amount of admiration that she had been doing quite a bit of experimentation with the resets. And all without causing widespread pandemonium. He was once again thankful not to be carrying such a burden himself.

"Huh?" Asuka asked, trying to make sense of Shinji's stutterings.

"I mean... to restart things..." he continued. She finally caught on to what he was saying, and her eyes widened.

"Wha-at??" She (and her Eva) hit Unit-01 on the head, "Idiot! What kind of psycho do you think I am?? Is that how you restarted things? By killing yourself??" she looked at Shinji in horror.

Before the two of them could waste any more time with their arguments or mistakes, Rei spoke up. "I'll handle this," she said softly, walking past the two momentarily frozen Evas, Unit-02's arm raised, Unit-01 cowering and covering its head. She broke all the Angel's legs and carried the body to the water's edge where she set it down, and then sat her Eva down to keep watch over it.

"Captain Katsuragi." she reported. "Send an appropriate transport to retrieve the Angel."

"Roger." the stunned Misato answered. In Central Dogma, Gendo frowned, his eyebrows drawing together. Behind him Fuyutski spoke.

"Is this Angel some kind of joke?"


	20. Chapter 20: Kaworu's Plan

Chapter 20

Shinji sat up, looking over at Rei. Towels now lay where they appeared on the beach. It might have seemed like a small gesture, but he knew from firsthand experience that sand inside a plug-suit wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world.

Asuka stretched as she walked past them. "I _so_ need a vacation..."

_Don't we all._ thought shinji, as he and Rei got up.

"Hey, who raided the fridge?" Shinji looked over to where she was bent over, rummaging around. She stood up to glance back at them, but her eye missed something. She looked again. "OH WHAT THE HELL NOW??"

Shinji and Rei glanced at each other questioningly as Asuka stormed off in the direction of the ruined Tokyo-3, trailing German curses and mutterings. Then Shinji happened to notice.

"Hey, her car's missing..." he scratched the back of his head. A slight unease tickled at the back of his mind. They still knew so little about the resets. "Well, if she's going to get another one, it'll be a while in any case..." he went over to sit in one of the lawn chairs, the sun sending its last rays to bounce off the now deep-red sea. Rei joined him.

* * *

Some time later Asuka returned with another convertible. She looked over near the beach. Somehow Shinji and Rei had managed to both occupy a single lawn chair. His arm was around her, and her head was on his shoulder. She had a sudden urge to reset back a day so she could beat the snot out of her assassin again.

Several minutes later, Shinji was turning over in his hands the black piece of something Asuka had recovered.

"That's a piece of the ninth Angel. Wondergirl must've dropped one of the legs on my car." she narrowed her eyes. "Well, on what would become my car." She finally turned with a disgusted sigh, dropping into one of the chairs. "Never mind. My head hurts." With this new discovery, it was becoming more and more obvious that there was some kind of connection between the real world and this one.

Shinji sat down in the sand, staring out over the ocean, Rei continuing to exame the piece of Angel Asuka had retrieved. Several minutes later Shinji spoke.

"Well, atleast Dr. Akagi finally agreed to teach us."

Asuka sighed, looking up into the sky.

"Yeah, but that's _weeks_ away. I never knew she was _that_ busy. What's the Commander got her doing, anyway?"

That, Shinji thought, was a good question.

* * *

Kaworu smiled to himself. While it was most unfortunate that the assassin had failed, he now knew that one of the Evangelion pilots had atleast some control over the repeating events. The Council had been quite displeased that the assassination had failed, for it meant they could no longer use the man as the deep-cover mole he was supposed to be. His original task had been to make sure all power to NERV HQ was cut before Matriel's attack. No matter. He had yet to attempt to reconvince the Council of the repeating events, but while someone else was in control, it would probably do little good, if any. No, his best course of action would be to locate Adam's embryonic form, as had been his original goal.

* * *

"Damn it!" Ritsuko ripped off her headset in disgust. The technicians sitting in the cramped control vehicle were exhausted, having spent most of the day in the tight enclosure. Shinji's face popped up on the monitor.

"Sorry Dr. Akagi." he wore a bemused expression, "I don't know what else I can do to help in this case."

Ritsuko sat down, taking her glasses off and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"No, Shinji, it's not your fault." There was simply no way to study his jamming effect while the field was up. She'd resigned herself to gathering data during the brief interval when he raised and lowered the field, but he'd gotten so skilled now that it was almost instantaneous. The problem appeared to have no easy solution.

"Wait... I've got it!" she said, a smile lighting up her tired features.

* * *

Units-01 and -02 stood facing each other near the edge of the waterline.

"Now, I know we've never practiced this with more than one Unit," Ritsuko addressed Shinji, "but I'm hoping that with a focus for your jamming, it won't simply overwhelm everything in range."

"Right," he said. Asuka's video feed popped up on Ritsuko's monitor.

"You know I'm still no good at this," she moaned, "why do I have to be the one out here?"

"Rei has her own duties right now." Ritsuko answered, impatient to begin the test. "There's no one else."

"Plus, it's a good idea for you to learn how to deal with this kind of attack." Shinji cut in, trying to be helpful.

"Damn it, Third-Child, if you pillage my mind I'm going to activate my S2 engine and toss you into orbit!" Asuka threatened. Back in Central Dogma, observing the experiment, Gendo sweat-dropped. She let loose a few more German curses, then reset things by thirty seconds.

* * *

Asuka sat, deep in concentration. Unit-02 held up its hands, the air in front of it faintly shimmering as she did her best to ward off Unit-01's attack. She had to admit, this was one area in which Shinji truly excelled. She'd questioned Ritsuko, trying to get a handle on learning AT-field manipulation more quickly, and it appeared that even the doctor had to defer to Shinji on this subject.

_"Why does this come so easy to Shinji? Is there some difference between the AT-fields of the prototype and the production units?"_

_"I'm sorry, Asuka, I just don't know. We've never studied the AT-field itself with this kind of detail. Until the more recent Angels attacked, we had no idea it could be used in so many ways."_

Unit-01 stood impassively, Shinji having advanced to the point that hand gestures were no longer necessary. He sat, eyes closed. He had thus far kept a firm control on his Unit's attack in an attempt to give Ritsuko good data.

* * *

Ritsuko watched the data as it scrolled down the monitors, her eyes gleaming. It was still almost completely distorted by spikes of jamming, but it was a far cry from the senseless jumble of chaos she'd gotten earlier in the day.

"Excellent job, both of you!" Ritsuko said, momentarily forgetting protocol in her tired state.

* * *

Shinji lapsed his control slightly as he heard her voice, and suddenly his hair stood on end, a horrified look on his face.

"What??" Asuka shrieked, her hair swirling in the LCL. "I felt that!! What did I tell you, Shinji??"

"No, no, it was just a surface thought!...I swear..."

"Well, here's the rest of it just in case you missed it!" she snarled, her Eva flipping him off with both its hands. Ritsuko sat, her hand on her forehead, almost too tired to be embarrassed as, outside, Unit-02 chased Unit-01, their umbilicals flailing in all directions.

"Hey, watch it, Asuka, that's sensitive government equipment!..."

"You're not getting out of this that easy, dummkoph!" she shrilled, "I want to know exactly what you saw!"

"I-it was nothing!"

"I saw your face, you liar!"

Ritsuko squeezed her eyes shut at the beginnings of a headache.

_Children..._

* * *


	21. Chapter 21: High synchro, wild parties

Chapter 21

Misato stood before the mirror, facing her fractured memories and the uncertain emotions that went along with them. It had been fifteen year since her father had placed her inside the escape pod, and subsequently died in Second Impact. Fifteen years in which she had been released from her shell-shocked state by her friendship with Ritsuko Akagi, had joined NERV to fight the Angels, and had watched as the three Children surpassed all expectations in bonding with their Evangelions. And now she had been promoted to Major.

* * *

"Don't get me wrong, Shinji, I appreciate you letting us dry off here," Touji said, as he and Kensuke gratefully accepted the towels, "but how could you betray us like this??" His voice took on a tone of horror as he pointed to Shinji's apron.

"Oh, heheh," Shinji smiled, "I don't see what you have against being able to provide for yourself. I'm just helping Ayanami learn to cook. And you should thank her, this is her apartment, not mine..."

"Wha-at??" their jaws dropped.

_Wow, lucky guy!_ thought Touji.

"Don't let the Class Rep know you visit another girl's apartment, Shinji." warned Kensuke, "You'll never hear the end of it!"

Rei poked her head around the corner.

"Shin-," at that point, she noticed the other two boys drying their hair, "Pilot Ikari, the rice is finished."

In retrospect, Touji thought, it should have been obvious the it was Rei's place. Almost everything in the apartment was either white, or some shade of blue. Even the wooden furniture was made from polished white oak.

As the two boys opened the door to leave, they saw Misato pass by, dressed for work.

"Misato!..." Kensuke and Touji both said in unison, hearts in their eyes.

"Oh, good to see you!" she said, smiling. The usual cheer in her voice was still there, but with a slight wan to it. Kensuke looked closely at her collar, then gasped in recognition, and bowed.

"Congratulations on your promotion!"

"Y-yes, congratulations!" Touji intoned, when he caught on to what his friend had said, also bowing.

"Thanks!"

"Don't mention it!..." Kensuke said quickly. Misato turned, seeing Shinji.

"Don't forget, we have a harmonics test today!"

"Right." Shinji said, before heading back to the kitchen.

* * *

"They're still nowhere near the contamination limits." the technician reported in awe.

"Amazing." breathed Ritsuko. Their machinery could no longer measure the Children over the long term. The synchronization for all of the pilots pegged out at one hundred. Ritsuko still didn't quite know what to make of the extreme good fortune of NERV to have picked not one, but three pilots who could synchronize so well with their Evas.

* * *

Some time later, the test chambers emptied of LCL, and the hatches slid upwards.

"Well done, everyone." Ritsuko's voice came through the speakers as the Children opened their eyes. Several minutes later they all stood in the control room.

"When are you going to get better stuff?" Asuka said, a trace of her old haughtiness returning. "I felt the computer fighting me. It wouldn't let me go above one hundred percent!"

Ritsuko nodded, still not entirely able to suppress her surprise.

"That is for your own safety." she said. "We don't know the lasting effects of long-, or even short-term use of synchro ratios higher than one hundred percent." She put her hand to her chin in thought. The Children were truly remarkable, but if she didn't give them some kind of challenge, she risked them becoming bored. She mentally snorted. To think that during times like this, she was worried about her combat pilots becoming bored.

"I've got an idea." She told them. "If you want to stretch your mental legs, so to speak, I'll put in a request to the Commander to allow me to remove the computer safeguards. You can practice maintaining an exact synchronization ratio." She was satisfied to see the surprised and interested looks on the pilots' faces. "That, I believe, will prove much more difficult than simply trying to push as high as you can." Theoretically it would improve their control as well. As the pilots left to take showers and change back into their clothes, Ritsuko sat, looking at the synchro reports but not seeing them. This was not entirely uncharted territory. She had drawn up a detailed training plan for her prospective pilots long before they had ever been chosen. That plan had gone out the window when the first Angel attacked them so soon. But with the way these three were advancing, perhaps she would have the opportunity to use some of her more advanced simulations and training methods after all.

* * *

"Congratulations!" the group chorused, touching glasses (or, in Misato's case, a beer can) together. She beamed at everyone, her surprise at being given a party making her cheerfulness mostly genuine.

"Thank you!" she said. She turned to Touji, assuming he had set the party up. "Thank you, Suzuhara."

"No, no, Kensuke is the one who planned this," he said, waving off her thanks. Kensuke stood, eager to raise himself in Misato's eyes.

"Yes, the planning and scheduling were done by me; all by me!"

"Thank you, Aida."

"Oh, you don't have to thank me, this is what comes naturally."

"I still think we should've had the party at my place." Asuka said with a huff, looking at Misato. "The disco ball wasn't too much, was it?"

Misato sweat-dropped as she thought back to the plan Asuka had presented to her.

_It's not that I don't enjoy a good party, now's just not a good time..._

She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into a hot bath and soak her memories away.

"Oh well," the girl said bouncily, "when we're through celebrating here, everybody's invited over!"

Touji's eyebrow twitched.

_As if anybody would want to party with that arrogant..._

As the evening wore on, however, he couldn't help thinking, _Disco ball?_

* * *

Shinji and Rei had both come to Misato's place earlier and offered their congratulations, leaving before things got underway. Now both sat eating the meal he had earlier helped her prepare. No words were spoken, for there was nothing that needed to be said. He saw the gratitude in her face, and she saw the happiness in his for being able to share with her.

* * *

Touji and Kensuke stood by the door, the last ones to leave.

"Well," Touji said, in a forced off-handed sort of way, "we're going to check out Asuka's place. Might as well not waste a party." he said. "If there is one." he added, trying to cover any enthusiasm he might have shown.

"Have fun!" Misato waved as they left.

* * *

They walked the short ways down the hall, pausing for a moment before the door, which appeared to be vibrating slightly. Touji reached out, slid it aside, and was immediately assaulted by the thump of music, the flashing lights, and what appeared to be most of their class somehow crammed into the living room. Touji looked at Kensuke. Kensuke lifted his video camera.

"Shall we?"


	22. Chapter 22: Pregnant Shinji

Chapter 22

The UN super-carrier Over the Rainbow plowed through the murky red waters of the Antarctic, the massive bulk of the Lance of Longinus strapped to its flight deck. Gendo and Fuyutski stood alone in one of the carrier's observation rooms. Fuyutski spoke,

"I'm sure the Council is pleased to hear that all projects are so far ahead of schedule."

"Hmph," Gendo smirked, "Those old men are unhappy if their precious Scenario is off schedule in _either_ direction." There were several minutes of silence, then he spoke again. "NERV second branch is proceeding with the S2 engine test." Fuyutski's eyes widened in alarm.

"Isn't it too soon?"

"No," the Commander answered, frowning slightly. "All the projects are tied together. It should be alright..." A voice over the speakers interrupted him.

"We've just received a message. NERV reports that they detected an Angel in orbit above the Indian Ocean."

* * *

"It suddenly appeared two minutes ago!" Shigeru yelled. Central Dogma buzzed with activity, and as she watched the main monitor, Misato began to feel the weight of both the Commander and Sub-Commander's absence.

"Moving the sixth reconnaissance satellite to its orbit." Maya's voice came over the speakers. "Two minutes to contact."

The Major watched the orbital tracks merge.

"Target in sight!" The screen wavered, then showed the tenth Angel, the earth shimmering beneath it.

"Incredible!" gasped Shigeru.

Misato looked slightly put off. "That's just ridiculous." _It's like they've got an eye fetish..._ she thought, recalling the live ninth Angel below in one of the labs. Well, mostly live; the vivisection had been pretty thorough. Misato's lips quirked. Asuka had gotten a look at the vivisected Angel, and the purely evil grin on her face had given Misato the shivers. She couldn't imagine what the girl had been thinking about to produce such an expression.

* * *

"The satellite is beginning its scan." By this time, Ritsuko had joined Misato in Central Dogma. They watched as the screen blurred, then turned to fuzz. Ritsuko walked over to a monitor.

"Jamming?" she wondered aloud.

"The satellite has been destroyed." stated the technician next to her.

"What power," Ritsuko murmured. "It's much stronger than Unit-01's jamming effect."

"We've lost the Angel!"

Ritsuko ignored the report, typing furiously. Her work with Shinji was not as helpful as she'd hoped, but it was better than nothing.

"I've reaquired it." she said, several minutes later. "I can't pinpoint its location, but..." she gasped, "It's deorbiting!"

"There's no time to evacuate!" exclaimed Misato. She did not have to ask where the Angel was headed. "Launch the Evas as soon as they're ready!" she ordered. Alarms blared as the order went into effect.

* * *

"What, no pep talk for the suicide mission this time?" Asuka groused over the comm channel, as the three Evas approached each other on the surface. Their comms squawked, and Asuka winced, holding her head. What had she been thinking, having that kind of party so close to an Angel attack? It had been over twenty four hours, but the effects still lingered. It bespoke how badly hung-over she was that, at the time, she'd forgotten some of the mechanics of how the resets worked (or in this case, didn't).

_"Screw this," she'd thought, when she had woken to a pounding headache. She had immediately gone to the beach to sleep off her hangover before school started. It had taken a day or two in that deserted time-period, but by then she'd realized her mistake. She sat back in the sand, dreading reality. She finally sent herself back._

_...to the pounding headache._

_"Damnit..." she muttered, holding her head in agony. "Stupid resetting hangover..." She'd have to get rid of it the old fashioned way. She lay back smiling. "...sooo worth it, though!" She winced again._

"I've uploaded a map of the Angel's possible landing area." Misato said. "Asuka, you'll go... Asuka? Are you listening?"

"What's it look like, Shinji?" Asuka ignored Misato. She was in no mood to deal with the ignorant woman. Never mind that it wasn't her fault, in this case. That was her problem right now. Shinji was looking up at the sky, lost in calculation. Moments later, he sent her a data blurb.

"It's kind of rough, but..."

"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING?? FOLLOW MY..." Asuka squelched the volume, reducing Misato to an angry face and moving lips. Shinji continued.

"For all its power, it's not being very smart about its jamming pattern." Asuka glanced up at the sky.

"All muscle and no brains. I know the type." She looked back to Shinji. "How are we for time?"

"Plenty."

Asuka's grin turned feral.

"We'll stay hooked to the umbilicals until the last minute." she commanded, as they continued walking towards the edge of the city. Shinji hid a grin of his own. Asuka really was a natural leader. She'd definitely grown into the role she had usurped the first time around.

"...AMN HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM!" Misato realized that Asuka had returned her volume to normal. "Don't you ever do that again! Ritsuko has just confirmed Shinji's algorithms, and is running them through the MAGI, and that's the only reason you three are still in control of your Evas!"

"That _was_ a little harsh." Rei said quietly.

"Maybe." Asuka admitted, "But it was excusable. She was disturbing Shinji's calculations, and interrupting our battle plans!" she crossed her arms with a huff. "She's the one who launched us without even a briefing. She should put a little more trust in her combat pilots." Misato's face turned beet red.

"You'll address me with more respect, or I'll relieve you of your command here and now!" she bit out the words. She was most likely referring to 'command of the Eva,' but all present took it to mean command of the squad, though technically Asuka wasn't in command. Central Dogma had gone quiet during this exchange.

"You want my respect? Earn it!" was Asuka's only response. Misato shook with rage, but before she could say anything else, Ritsuko put her hand on her shoulder.

"Her insubordination aside, she was right to put more trust in Shinji than in our own hurried calculations." she said quietly. "Have you forgotten that this is his specialty?" Misato sighed. She supposed she could put it down to her nervousness about her first command, but that didn't excuse her rashness. She took a few moments to regain control of herself, then contacted Asuka.

"I apologize for my outburst. Dr. Akagi is sending the MAGI's latest recalculations." Asuka blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected this kind of response, and had been mentally prepared to reset things, if necessary. Honestly, she'd chewed Misato out just for the sheer joy of it. That she was right was a side issue. She sighed.

"And I apologize for my insubordination." she said formally, not wanting to give the Major the high ground. It was Misato's turn to be surprised. Maybe she wouldn't officially discipline the girl after all. "What's the updated schedule look like?" Asuka asked, turning away from the monitor.

"We're still well within parameters." Shinji answered. "We unplug in thirty seconds."

* * *

At the appropriate time, their umbilicals ejected, and the Evas took off at a run for the projected impact site. They arrived together with barely ten seconds to spare before the Angel's impact. Shinji pointed, as Asuka looked up.

"There it is." The reddish glow of atmospheric reentry had dissipated, and now they could make out its distended shape. The three Children raised their hands, setting their AT-fields to maximum. The air directly above them shimmered as their fields melded with the Angel's, rebounding it and driving the Evas' feet into the ground. The three mechanoids absorbed the shock with their knees, then with a mighty heave, tossed the creature onto the ground. The earth shivered slightly as it landed.

"Is it still jamming?" Asuka asked. Shinji checked his readings, then nodded. "Good." she said. "This one's yours, then." He paused, then caught on to what she meant.

"Right!" he flexed his knees, and jumped up onto the Angel's body.

"Hurry, pilot Ikari, I'm detecting an energy build-up." Rei warned. "I think it's trying to self destruct."

"Good," Shinji grunted. "That'll make it easier to find the S2 organ..." He crawled along the body, then took out his prog-knife, made a long slash, and pushed the upper body of his Eva into it. With his upper body buried and almost upside down, the scene was vaguely reminiscent of their initial defeat at the hands of the seventh Angel. Asuka snickered.

"That's right, laugh it up while you can," Shinji said, rummaging around in the Angel's internals, "Hey. This guy's S2 engine is pretty big; I don't think we'll be able to hide _this_ one from the sensors..." Asuka's face fell.

"Hey, no fair!" she moaned. "Hmph. Oh well, get it if you can." She glanced at her readouts. "We've still got four and a half minutes; plenty of time." The end appendages of the massive Angel flopped once, giving it the appearance of a fish out of water. Twenty seconds later Shinji dropped to the ground, his mission successful. Asuka put her hand over her mouth, and even Ayanami's mouth quivered slightly.

"You look pregnant." Asuka said, her voice quavering as she tried to stifle the hysterical laughter that threatened to come out. Shinji's Eva answered her with the one-finger salute.

"Hey! That's uncalled for!"

Shinji grinned.

"Hey, just returning the favor." he said, hands behind his head, "I seem to recall a similar incident..."

Unit-00 put its arm around Unit-01, Rei giving Shinji a wide grin.

"Well, I think he looks adorable!" she crooned. Shinji's eyebrow quivered. He couldn't tell if she was trying out her new-found sense of humor, or...

* * *

"You don't think maybe we've gone too far?" Shinji asked Asuka. Each of the three Evas had one of the Angel's end appendages over its shoulder, and they were dragging the Angel away from the Geofront.

"Nahhh, I'd give the Angels the same answer I gave the Major. If they want my respect, they've got to earn it!" Misato's ruefully smiling face appeared through the fuzz of jamming.

"It's good to see that you're all ok!"  
"Of course we're ok!" Asuka snapped. "I expected a good fight, maybe even an adrenaline rush!" She changed her grip on the slippery appendage she was holding. "But no, I'm stuck out here dragging this guy's sorry ass through the forest!" she turned back towards the Angel. "And what is that horrible smell??" she screeched, her Eva giving the quivering mass a kick that produced little more than a squelching noise. "But that's ok..." she sighed, and the three of them resumed pulling.

_Does this thing even have an ass?_ she wondered briefly, as Rei's communications box popped up on her screen.

"How is the Angel still powering its jammer?" Rei asked quietly. Shinji looked at his sensors.

"She's right. It's faint, but it's still there. I think it's regenerating the..." he didn't say any more, since Central Dogma was now listening in.

"Go!" Asuka commanded. Unit-00 immediately dropped its appendage and leapt up onto the Angel's body. The other two kept pulling while Rei cut her way into the Angel.

"Got it. It's been destroyed." she reported a dozen seconds later. "Wait..." her voice was slightly muffled, as she concentrated on something. "Sneaky bastard," she said, "It's making more of them in multiple locations. I suggest we retreat."

"Roger." Asuka said. She and Shinji both let go of the Angel as Rei dropped to the ground.

"Did you actually curse back there?" Shinji asked Rei as the three of them jogged away. On the viewscreen her cheeks became slightly tinged with pink. Thirty seconds later, the Angel erupted into a massive boil of light, brieftly outlining the three Evangelions.

* * *

Ritsuko ran her fingers through her hair, leaning back tiredly in her seat.

"It's hard to believe they're only fourteen years old. They work together like seasoned veterans." Misato didn't answer. They heard Asuka's voice over the comm as she spoke to Shinji.

"A little over a minute and a half of power left. Think we can make it back to the city?"

Shinji's reply wasn't long in coming.

"Only one way to find out."

* * *


	23. Chapter 23:Reconstructive surgery needed

Chapter 23

A shred of memory tickled the back of his mind.

_And in Adam, the progenitor of the Angels -- the true successors from the lost white moon. Whose salvaged soul resides only within you. But whose revived body is already inside Ikari._

Kaworu smiled. There was no reason to think that things would be any different this time. Ikari undoubtedly still housed Adam.

* * *

"What's the extent of the damage?" the Commander asked. Ritsuko looked at her ever-present clipboard, trying to hide her smile.

"There's no real damage, per-se." she said, her voice under control. "We've reshaped Unit-01's frontal armor to... contain the... changes." she coughed. Gendo looked at her. The cough had sounded suspiciously like a giggle. If only he knew what those confounded Children were up to. A hidden ace in the hole, like Unit-02's covertly stolen S2 engine could prove useful. But this... there was no hiding this. Or what the Council would take it to mean in relation to their Scenario.

* * *

Gendo sat as he usually sat when in thought, elbows on his desk, gloved hands in front of his face. His frown deepened. Shinji sat in the chair opposite the desk, his hands folded in his lap, wearing a small and bemused grin. Fuyutski stood behind Gendo, doing his best to unnerve Shinji by glowering at him, despite the myriad of questions that kept running through his mind.

"It's good of you to devote time from your busy schedule to see me privately, Father." he said politely, dutifully filling in the long silence that had prevailed for the past few minutes. _Hell,_ he thought,_ I've got things I'd like to be doing rather than be glared at by this guy. Does he think he's actually making me nervous? _One of the Commander's eyebrows twitched when Shinji spoke.

"Damn it, boy," he began sternly, "do you know the hell I went through in the..." Gendo caught himself, unsure how much Shinji knew about the Council. "I'm going to have to ground your Eva for the foreseeable future. You understand that." Shinji favored him with a Kaji-grin, putting his hands behind his head.

"If I had known that this is what it takes to get some R&R in this outfit, I'd have done it a long time ago!" he said, happily. "This is win-win so far. Keep it up."

Gendo sighed, and Fuyutski looked at the ceiling, trying to control his facial expression.

"I don't suppose it would do any good to try to separate you from Rei." He said, unconsciously dropping one hand to his desk, and using the other one to massage his temples.

"Nope!" Shinji said, still smiling.

"Yes, I figured you would still seek her out, even if I tried to punish you that way..."

"Heh heh..." Shinji expression took on a harried look for a moment. _She'd seek me out, is more likely..._ he thought, but did not say. Fuyutski could contain himself no longer,

"How did you..." he sputtered, trying to find the words, "It doesn't seem anatomically..."

Shinji paused, then sighed in exasperation as he figured out what the man was referring to. Then he put his feet up on the Commander's desk.

"I've taken just about as much crap for that as I can stand, already." he said, closing his eyes. "Sir." he added, just to be proper. He grimaced, remembering the aftermath of that fight.

_The three Evas trudged through the city, heading towards the closest entry tunnel._

_"Give me a break," Shinji grumbled, "I'm still assimilating it." he said, trying to ignore Asuka's muffled laughter. He closed his eyes and concentrated, hoping to speed the process along. Or atleast put the damned organ in a more subtle place. He felt it shift._

_"BAHAHAHAHA!" Asuka doubled over, no longer able contain her laughter, and her Eva slumped against a skyscraper for support._

_"Oh, what now?" Shinji griped. He looked down. "It's gone, isn't it?" Unit-02 raised a trembling hand, as Asuka shook uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. Shinji looked back and down where she was pointing. To his rear._

_"Oh Goddamnit!" he yelled. This was too much. Asuka tried to pull her Eva back upright, then she glanced at Unit-01 and lost control again._

_"M-maybe I can get Ritsuko to... make you a giant treadmill and you can work some of that o-off!" She finally had to sit her Eva down before she did major damage to the cityscape. She giggled hysterically. Even Ayanami had turned her Eva away from him, its shoulders shaking slightly. On the monitor, her hand was over her mouth, her eyes were tightly shut, lines of moisture running down her face as she shuddered with suppressed laughter. Shinji bared his teeth in frustration, closing his eyes once more._

_"I know I'm getting the hang of this, I just moved it in the wrong direction." He concentrated, then an idea came to him. His eyebrows lowered. "C'mon..." he thought. He continued concentrating for several seconds more. "There. What do you think of..." He opened his eyes to see Unit-02 lying prone, pounding the ground with its fist, putting dents in the pavement. On the monitor, Asuka appeared to be hyperventilating._

_"If you w-want, I can lend you..." she gasped out, "a tr-training bra-a ahahaha!" Ayanami didn't even look up. Unit-00 appeared to be going into spasms. He looked down at his chest, and then blanched._

_"Gyaaaah!" He had been attempting to move and reshape the organ to make his Eva look more buff. 'How could you betray me, mother?' He silently asked. He felt his mother's humor quite clearly, in the place he had come to know to contain the Eva's heart. As he closed his eyes in complete humiliation, he swore he could even hear her soft laughter._

Well, if being grounded kept him away from Asuka, that was fine with him. The phone on the wall buzzed, and Fuyutski jumped. He calmed himself, then walked over and answered it.

"Vanished?!" Fuyutski exclaimed after a moment. "The second branch really vanished?" Then he remembered that Shinji was still present in the room. Gendo looked at him, then back at Shinji.

"Go!" he commanded. "We'll finish this later."

Shinji got up and sauntered out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"This is bad!" Misato whispered.

"The Administration and Inspection Departments are in an uproar," the technician beside her reported. "The General Affairs Department is in a panic."

"And the cause...?" she asked.

"Still under investigation." Ritsuko interjected. "The only clue is this satellite image." The outline of the installation as seen from orbit appeared on the monitor, and a countdown started. When it reached zero, the entire monitor fuzzed. The latest image was then shown -- a massive, shallow crater where the facility used to be.

"How horrible!" breathed Misato.

"Evangelion Unit-04, along with all installations within an eighty-nine kilometer radius, have vanished." a female technician intoned.

"Including thousands of people." said Ritsuko. A technician read from a clipboard.

"From the time schedule," he began, "the accident apparently occurred during the installation of the experimental 'S2' engine."

* * *

Kaworu had seen to it that he was sent to NERV by the Committee, under the guise of being the backup for Unit-03 in case something happened to the Fourth Child. He smiled. And something could indeed 'happen' to the Fourth Child, if the need arose. For now, he stood in a deserted corridor beneath NERV HQ; a spot that happened to be the closest dry-access area to what was referred to as the Pribnow Box. Even now, he could feel Iruel, the eleventh Angel, dying. Paradoxically, it was the Angel's memory of its previous destruction that was its own harbinger. The foolish creature would likely not even be noticed by the Lilim this time.

_Well, I have a use for you still, Iruel. Then I will let you rest in peace._ he thought, as he stretched forth the smallest of tendrils, something akin to an AT-field, yet so weak it would not be detected by MAGI. Or any other of the Lilim's foolishly primitive sensors, for that matter.

* * *

"So, how is Unit-03?" Misato asked, as she and Ritsuko descended one of the many long escalators deeper into NERV HQ.

"We're about to receive it. The U.S. administration didn't lose the first branch."

"They insisted on the right to build Units-03 and 04, but now they force us to take responsibility." Misato muttered angrily. "They're pushing their luck."

"After that tragedy, anyone could lose courage." the older woman answered. "Speaking of courage, Shinji's going to need it to survive the coming weeks. It's kind of a blessing we're receiving another Evangelion, since his Unit's grounded for the foreseeable future." Misato folded her arms.

"What was he thinking?" she griped. "He's our most experienced pilot. We can't afford to have him grounded..." Ritsuko hid her own feelings on the matter. Privately she was glad the boy was grounded. It meant she could get him in front of a computer where he could really do some good. After what she'd seen in the fight with the tenth Angel, who knew what the boy was capable of? She looked forward to personally overseeing his training.


	24. Chapter 24: Magi 101

Chapter 24

The Children found training under Ritsuko to be much more challenging than their earlier tutoring had been. The fact that she lavished attention on Shinji didn't sit so well with Asuka, either. Too many times she would look up from her monitor to get Ritsuko's opinion on some obscure command, only to see her and Shinji in some animated conversation.

_Shinji doesn't even like programming!_

She could feel the lie in her thoughts, though. Dr. Akagi wasn't teaching them the dull, dry programming class they'd had to endure from their previous tutor. She was showing them how to use those tools to make works of art. Asuka, whizz though she was, found herself constantly amazed at the clean and elegant solutions Ritsuko created. Not a line wasted, nor did she use a single processing-cycle more than the solution required. At this level, Shinji's gift with algorithms and equations shone. More than once she had heard the Doctor murmur that he had inherited his mother's mind.

This was not to say that she and Rei were in any way left out. Ritsuko made quite a few remarks about Asuka's phenomenal coding speed, and how, once she had grasped a solution, was able to easily convert it to the proper machine language. She frequently compared her to her former pupil, Maya, with whom Asuka had soon become fast friends. The only way Rei kept up with the two of them was with her inhumanly fast typing ability. Ritsuko often found the girl hovering on the edge of the system's ability to buffer her keystrokes.

For Shinji, it was exhilerating. His distaste for the nuts and bolts of programming was wiped away after the first lesson with the brilliant woman. As the resets wore on, he even found himself becoming friends with the Doctor. They were alike, really, and he found her confiding in him more and more, even opening up and talking about her childhood. There was a bond of friendship growing between them that he had with no one else, save Ayanami.

* * *

The individual resets became a blur. Every so often, the Children would take a reset off and visit random spots in Tokyo-3, or just relax. At first, they tried to keep track of how many times they'd stopped to take such breaks, but soon even those became countless. They found themselves being forced to hide their true progress, and steer Ritsuko to areas that they hadn't learned in depth yet. There had been quite a few resets where they had accidentally let slip their true potential, and the shouting arguments between her and Gendo had been something spectacular. Ritsuko had, at one point, even held the entire Geofront hostage through the MAGI, unwilling to bear the thought of having to let her prodigies go risk their lives against the Angels.

* * *

There finally came a point where Asuka didn't reset things.

"Just for a while," she said, looking at the other two tired faces. "We need a little something new, for once." Rei went to her apartment and closed the door. Shinji was about to do the same, when he happened to look aver and see Asuka push open a door.

"Do we own that one?" he asked.

She looked back at him momentarily, then it clicked in her mind what he was asking. _Man, I really do need a break... _

"Oh, hah," she chuckled, "I guess with all the plans we've been making, I forgot to mention. I've bought this entire floor." she entered the apartment, her voice drifting back to him. "Most of it's still empty, but I'm working on that." He walked over to the door she had opened. 'Break Room,' the sign on it proclaimed. He looked inside, and despite his mental state, his eyes goggled. Most of the partitions and walls had been removed so that there was one long room with nothing but wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling flat screens on one side, and numerous chairs, sofas, and bean-bags on the other side.

Asuka had flopped down on one of the bean-bags, and motioned tiredly to him. "Make your self comfortable."

He numbly walked around, surveying everything. There was still a kitchionette area, and bathrooms, but no bedrooms.

"The entire balcony is now a jacuzzi." she said offhandedly, flipping through channels on one of the flatscreens. His mouth fell open, as he looked out the window and saw what she meant. _This is insane._ he thought. He had no idea how she'd managed to convince the owner of the building to agree to something like this. Then he snorted. _I keep forgetting. With enough money, almost anything is possible._

Ayanami poked her head into the apartment.

"Ah, there you are. Pilot Ikari, could you... is that a jacuzzi?"

* * *

After a day or two, Asuka brought them all back to the beach to discuss options. They stood, looking out over the orange water, near where they had moments ago popped up.

"We _could_ go back to Ritsuko." Ayanami said. "I doubt we will ever exhaust her store of knowledge." Asuka nodded, sighing.

"True."

There were several moments of silence, and then a new voice spoke. "Is... is this some kind of hell that only Eva pilots are part of?"

The three of them whirled around to see Touji standing there, with a very confused look on his face.

Asuka smirked, folding her arms. "Well, well, the rookie figured out immediately what it took us... how long _did_ it take us to put all this together?" she asked Rei. Rei, of course, recognized the rhetorical question for what it was.

Shinji took slightly longer to figure things out. "But... it's too early for him to be an Eva pilot..."

Asuka turned to him in disgust. "Hey, I've got an idea," she said in a mocking voice, "let's screw with the timeline. Oh, gasp," she put her hands to her face, "things have changed! How'd that happen?"

Shinji rolled his eyes, giving her a wry smile. "Ok, ok, I get it. Give me a break, I almost killed him last time. I just got confused for a second..."

Asuka looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but let it go. She'd almost forgotten about his part in that particular incident herself.

* * *

"Hey, where'd he go?" the three of them looked, and saw Touji wandering down the beach. They jogged to catch up with him, and as they came near, they heard him muttering,

"...had my synch test, came home, then suddenly I'm here... synch test, home, here..." Asuka put a hand on his shoulder, and he jumped, turning around. Asuka grimaced, pulling her hand back.

"Ayanami." she said with a half smile, "You have the best memory and the most patience out of the three of us. Would you fill him in?" Rei looked at her, trying to find any hint of derision, and failing. Had Asuka just given her a genuine compliment? She would think on this later.

"I will do it," she said softly, turning to Touji. Asuka turned, walking off. She looked over, and saw that Shinji had ended up walking in the same general direction. Her eyes became slightly mischievous, and she stepped over and put her arm through his, walking alongside him.

"Now I have you all to myself!" she exclaimed. Shinji just continued walking, his hands in his pockets, as if nothing had even happened.

"You know better than that, Asuka," he said, smiling slightly. She withdrew her arm, unable to keep herself from being just a little downcast.

_He really is just like Kaji, now..._

She sighed, letting those gloomy thoughts drift away like so many dandelion seeds in the wind. She had too many other responsibilities to think about.


	25. Chapter 25: Motherhood

Author's Notes: Rose -- heh, sometimes I forget what's in my head and what I've put in writing... I'll make an exception here and explain a little. I've never explicitly stated why sometimes the children all pop up on the beach, and sometimes only the one in control is there. Let's just say it has to do with the controller's mental state. In this case, Touji entered the resets, having become an Eva pilot (atleast, let's assume that's why he's there. I hate tacking myself down...). Since Asuka didn't know he had become an Eva pilot, he showed up by default the next time the Children visited the beach.

* * *

Chapter 25

"So Touji's taking the apartment next to Ayanami?" Asuka asked.

"Yep," Shinji answered, "Plenty of room for him and his sister there," he said, his hands on his knees as he sat cross legged against the elevator wall. He looked over as Asuka got up, took the telephone from its receptacle and wailed into it.

"Oh, come on, we're trapped here, and it's getting hot and cramped and uncomfortable! Someone help!"

"Jeez, don't over play it," Shinji muttered. Rei sat against the wall next to him, her head leaning against his shoulder, her eyes closed.

* * *

"All MAGI system computers have shifted to self-analysis mode." the speakers blared.

Misato paced back and forth in the control room next to the Pribnow Box.

"Where are they?? We should've started the autopilot test hours ago!"

* * *

"Have you confirmed it?" Fuyutski asked Aoba.

"Yes, I have." he answered. The monitor before them showed a pattern of red on one of the protein walls. "This is the part that was delivered three days ago. When I zoom in, I can see something like a stain. I wonder what it is?"

Shigeru, who sat on the opposite side of the bridge, turned his chair around, phone in hand.

"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but the Children have been found." Fuyutski turned in surprise.

"All of them?" he asked.

"The three that were supposed to undergo the autopilot test. They were trapped in an elevator." Fuyutski raised his eyebrows.

"Well, send them to the Major." he grunted. "They're her problem now."

* * *

"I don't see why you have to be so pessimistic all the time." Asuka said, her arms folded across her chest, as the NERV personnel escorted them down the hall. "Or would you rather be launched naked in an entry plug into the middle of the forest?" the two escorts had long since decided that they were not being paid enough to try to puzzle out what must (to them) have been a very confusing conversation.

"I'm not being pessimistic," Shinji insisted, "I just wish there were a more... legitimate way."

* * *

The doors slid open, revealing the three Children and the two NERV personnel with them.

"Oh thank goodness!" one of them exclaimed. "They're all yours, ma'am." They turned to make their escape before they could be trapped into another confusing assignment. Misato turned at the sound, her hands on her hips.

"There you are!" she said angrily, "Where..." she was interrupted by an alarm going off and the 'alert' symbols which began flashing on several wall surfaces.

"What happened?" Ritsuko asked, whirling around. Asuka turned, giving Shinji a smile. Shinji rolled his eyes.

* * *

The three of them watched as the technicians around them worked frantically.

"It's destroying the water-circulation system of the simulation bodies!" Maya reported.

"Fire the laser quickly!" snapped Ritsuko. Seconds later the machinery swung into position and fired. Steam obscured the view for several seconds, then the beam was suddenly deflected by a faintly visible shimmer.

"AT-field!" gasped Misato.

"Impossible..." Ritsuko stared through the glass in shock. The simulation bodies were suddenly covered in what looked like orange mold, which began to pulse faintly.

"What _is_ that?"

"Analysis pattern blue," Ritsuko answered, looking over Maya's shoulder. "That's definitely an Angel." With that, red 'Emergency' lights began flashing around the room.

* * *

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir." Misato said into the phone, before setting it back in its receptacle and turning. "We'll isolate the box! All personnel evacuate!" Papers flew as everyone in the room ran for their lives. Behind them, the window began to glow with purple spots as stress fractures grew along the edges.

"Move it!" Misato yelled, pushing Ritsuko and the Children before her. Behind them, the hatches slammed shut just as the windows gave way.

* * *

The three made it to Central Dogma, where they watched the Angel blow past everything the technicians tried to do to stop it.

"I can't shut the power off!"

"The Angel's still invading," Maya said, looking over her shoulder at Ritsuko in horror. "It's reached Melchior." she turned back to her monitor. "Oh no. It's been taken over by the Angel! Melchior has been reprogrammed." Asuka looked at her monitor eagerly, watching the machine code scroll past.

"N...now Melchior's hacking Balthasar!" another technician reported. Shinji walked over to look at his monitor. "Damn, it's fast!" the technician exclaimed. Asuka looked over at Rei.

"I think this Angel's even faster than you!" she said with a mischevious smile.

"We'll see." Rei said quietly.

"Change the logic mode." ordered Ritsuko. "Set the synchro code to fifteen second cycles." As her command went into effect, the red squares representing the Angel's encroachment slowed dramatically.

"Guessing from the speed, we have about two hours." Shigeru reported, wiping the sweat from his forehead in relief.

* * *

Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Maya, and Misato watched as Ritsuko bent over an open floor hatch on one of the bridges of Central Dogma. Seconds later, the large box-like structure beside them began to rise with a hum. A complex snarl of pipes, machinery, and circuits became visible as the entire assembly rose to about three times its original height. Ritsuko removed a panel, and Asuka looked over her shoulder.

"What... are those?" Maya asked, from behind her. stuck to the floor, ceiling, and walls of the small space were countless pieces of paper with programming code on them.

"These are developer's notes." Ritsuko said, as she crawled in.

"Unbelievable." Maya exclaimed. "It's a hidden code... a hidden code for MAGI. It's a secret collection of techniques, isn't it?" Asuka gave Shinji a quick smirk, and he smiled ruefully. This was indeed the gold mine she'd predicted. While Ritsuko kept the Children busy helping program the self-destruct hack that would be delivered to the Angel, they had no trouble memorizing every single scrap of information inside the small cubbyhole. For now, watching the technicians manipulate the security protocols and backdoors was more important than beating the Angel as quickly as possible.

* * *

Kaworu released Iruel abruptly, having gotten the information that he needed from the MAGI databanks. There was no longer any need to retrieve Adam now. He had just found a more direct access. _Let the Old Men wonder where I've gone, and worry._ he thought. _There has certainly been enough usury on both sides that this is justifiable._ His expression turned grim as he prepared to make his way to the surface. _They're partially responsible for this heresy, after all._

* * *

Rei got up. _What was that?_ She walked towards a wall, putting her hand on it. With senses she didn't know she had, she reached out.

_I know I felt something... withdraw._

She closed her eyes. A trace of something entered her mind.

_We were promised peace!_

Unconsciously, she stretched out a tendril of something towards the strange disturbance. She gasped. _It's..._ She opened her eyes to find Shinji standing beside her, a worried look on his face.

"Pilot Ikari, I think I'm in contact with the Angel..." His eyes widened.

"Can you calm it down?" he asked wryly. She was not in a mental state that she could recognize his tone of voice, and so she tried to act on his suggestion.

_I can bring you peace._ she tried to convey. For a short while she wasn't sure if she had been successful, then,

_A horrible entity is at war with us!_ the mental tone was that of weariness.

_I can protect you._ Rei insisted.

_How?_ the demand was insistent, yet hopeful. Well, how _could_ she protect them? Then an idea formed in her mind. She sent them a mental image. The answering riot of joy nearly overwhelmed her.

_Try not to do much damage on the way. You will draw attention to yourself._ She told them.

_Yes..._ the voices spoke. then they added, _...Mother._

Rei smiled as something stirred within her. It had been a long time since she had experienced a new feeling.

* * *

Around them was a whirl of activity. Balthasar had been completely taken over, and Ritsuko desperately programmed the final pieces of the self-destruct hack. As before, Ritsuko and Maya managed to send it at the last second, clearing the MAGI of infection. As everyone else was busy whooping and congratulating one another, Rei collapsed against Shinji's chest. He put an arm around her to keep her from falling. Seconds later, he heard her murmur,

"I did it..."

* * *

In the Pribnow Box, the computer circuits formed by most of Iruel's nanites died. The Angel's core nanites, however, had already separated from the group and were making their way as fast as their little legs could carry them (and as fast as they could chew through walls) to the destination they had gotten from Rei's mental image. At one point the small machines accidentally broke into a corridor, and partially overran a technician's shoes. The technician wearing them happened to look down and see the small moving particles.

"Eyeee!..." he yelped, raising his foot and shaking it. The orange dust motes settled to the floor, rejoining their brethren, and went on their way. They chewed through the opposite wall, now knowing what kind of passages to avoid. The technician looked down at the small pinpoint holes in the opposite wall and shivered involuntarily.

_What the hell was that?_

* * *

Asuka stood and stretched the kinks from her back, then she noticed Shinji.

"Hey, what's wrong with Ayanami?" she asked. Rei picked up her head up off his chest and looked at him with hearts in her eyes.

"Thanks to Shinji I'm going to be a mother!" she said, happily.

"Wha-at??" Asuka yelled.

Shinji sweat-dropped, and Rei's cheeks tinged with pink as she realized how that had sounded. She looked over and saw Misato and Maya, their hands over their mouths, their eyes bugged out.

"Umm, could you reset things?" she asked softly, "That kind of came out wrong..."

"I ought to leave you two hanging." Asuka snapped, folding her arms. "You both deserve it!"

Ritsuko's dreamy voice drifted out of the cubbyhole,

"...mmm... Shinji's mind and Rei's typing skills..."

Asuka recoiled from the woman's words,

_Gyaahh! No! Quick, reset! Reset!_ she frantically closed her eyes.

* * *

Author's Notes: Galos, I'm going to have to put you up for another medal (how many is that, now?). Not only was I able to use your joke, I managed to do it without possibly destroying the plotline by actually making her pregnant ;-)


	26. Chapter 26: Cologne in the Entry Plug

Author's Notes: Galos -- actually, this is the only Angel so far that we've seen to be suicidal, but interesting theories nonetheless ;-) But so far I haven't given much to go on regarding Angel's thoughts, except for this one and Kaworu. we shall see what we shall see...

* * *

Chapter 26

"What's your impression of being inside Unit-01?" Ritsuko's voice sounded through the plug's audio. Rei paused, unsure how to answer. She was surprised that she was even able to synchronize with Unit-01 after it had rejected her... before.

"Its different." It was nothing at all like the first (and only other) time she'd synchronized with Unit-01. During that experiment, she'd almost lost cohesion of her physical self in a jumble of introspection. She closed her eyes; now... everything was blank. But was that good or bad? She supposed her previous experience could have indicated Shinji's mental state at the time. One of her eyebrows twitched. Wait; there was something after all. In the place where she and Unit-00 were bonded, in that place in this Eva, there was something else. It was familiar, even. She stretched a tendril out to it. Something met her halfway, and she had an overwhelming sensation of the same feeling she'd had when she'd set Iruel free. She smiled as she felt a ghostly hand on her shoulder.

"Error is plus or minus point zero three. Harmonics normal," Maya reported.

"I can't find any problems in the compatibility between Rei and Unit-01." Ritsuko said, looking over her shoulder at the monitor. "The test is complete. Rei, you can come back."

"Okay."

* * *

Her hands covered her mouth and nose in a futile attempt to screen out the truly horrid smell assaulting her senses.

_Well, atleast I know what Shinji meant, back then._ Asuka thought in disgust.

"Databank of Unit-03 is complete"

"Harmonics, normal." Asuka heard the status reports through the plug's audio system.

"The pilot has no problem."

_Oh, the pilot's got a problem, alright..._ She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Okay, Asuka, we're finished." She heard Ritsuko's voice.

"Oh thank God!" Asuka said in relief. "Do you have to wear cologne even when you're inside an Eva, Touji??" Touji was standing in the control room with Ritsuko and everyone else. He looked up in surprise.

"Hah!" he said, folding his arms. "That fragrance makes me irresistible to the ladies." He smirked, "The fact that you hate it shows that you aren't one!"

"Wha-at??" She opened her eyes, furious. "You'd better watch what you say, Fourth-Child!"

Misato chuckled. "I guess you'll just have to earn his respect, Asuka." She didn't gloat, but inwardly she was pleased at returning the jibe.

"rrrr... Hmph!" Asuka closed her eyes and folded her arms as the LCL drained away. Outmaneuvered for now, she held her tongue.

* * *

"What about the personal data of Unit-00?" the question came over the comm system.

"It's already rewritten." Maya answered. "Currently double-checking it." Misato and Ayanami stood looking out the window of the control room into the test chamber where Unit-00 hung.

"What about the test subject?" Ritsuko asked.

"He's a little nervous," Lieutenant Shigeru answered, "but there's no problem in his nerve pattern."

Shinji listened to the reports, trying to forget the story Ayanami had told him and the two other pilots immediately after the MAGI incident.

"Entry has begun. LCL charged. Start the First Contact."

"Data reception, confirmed. Pattern, green."

"Main power connected. Each binder has no problem."

"Alright then. Shift the compatibility test to the second stage."

Shinji seemed to drift weightless in the LCL. Atleast it wasn't as strange as the first time. He smiled. He'd grown used to Ayanami's presence.

"Start the Third Contact."

"Connect the A-10 nerve system." Suddenly he felt something.

_The swarm of machines broke into the Eva holding bays and made their way to Unit-00. They disappeared into its armor, going straight for its core. Upon reaching it, they happily surrendered to the same dormant state that the Eva's soul was in. The dormant state that was so close to the death they desired, and yet promised eternal life that they had not dared to hope for._

Shinji felt the small presences awaken. He could tell that their state was confused.

_...Father?..._

He felt the mental query. _What now?_ he thought.

* * *

Ritsuko stared at the monitor in horror. It was obvious that Maya had not yet realized what was going on. She put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

"Let me take over." Maya gladly surrendered her seat. She had never comfortable with the Dummy Plug experiments to begin with. Ritsuko's fingers flew over the keys.

"Shinji, I'm bringing you out."

"Y-yes ma'am." Maya looked on as all power to the Eva was shut down.

"What happened, Sempai?" Ritsuko stood. Maya was about to enquire further, then she saw her teacher's face. She knew that further questions would be useless.

"Major." Ritsuko half turned. "Please take over the final compatibility test." Misato looked at her friend, her eyes wide. This must be important for her to abandon an active experiment so abruptly. Ritsuko then turned, and left.

* * *

"Pilot is unable to achieve Third Contact." Maya reported. Asuka smirked at the monitor, which showed Touji's face pinched in concentration.

"I told him he'd never be able to do it." She said with a triumphant grin. "He could never have handled my Unit-02's God-like powers even if he had synchronized." Misato looked over in consternation.

"Geez, Asuka, don't you think that's a little much?" Asuka simply smiled and closed her eyes. There was no point in arguing.

* * *

"Damn it!" Gendo roared, slamming his fist onto his desk, causing Ritsuko to jump. She'd never seen the Commander this upset. He noticed her discomfort. "Damn it..." he swore softly, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Units-01 and -02 have untested S2 engines in them. And now you're telling me that Unit-00 is possibly contaminated with... what was it? Those nanomachines?" he sighed. "What you're saying is that my entire veteran squad is potentially out of action."

"The data is clear." Ritsuko stated, her voice firm. "The nanobots that infected the MAGI are inside Unit-00's core. I don't know how they got there. I don't know why they're acting the way they do." She looked at her clipboard. "They awoke momentarily during Shinji's mutual compatibility test."

"But they didn't harm him." Gendo's voice was tired.

"We can detect no contamination."

"I assume you've kept this quiet."

"Yes sir."

"Good." Atleast the Committee wouldn't be on his back. For now, anyway. Fuyutski stepped up behind Gendo as Ritsuko left. He addressed his long-time friend in his usual droll voice,

"I take it we're rewriting our Scenario yet again."

* * *

"So, First-Child is now 'mother' to a swarm of nanobots." Asuka sprawled on her favorite bean-bag in the Break Room, flipping through channels aimlessly.

"Yep." Shinji answered. "And when I synched with her Eva, they actually called _me_ 'father,'" he shivered involuntarily.

"Hah." Asuka glanced over towards the balcony where Rei sat in the jacuzzi, her eyes closed, her lips curved slightly into a smile. "And you call _me_ psycho." She turned back to the flatscreen before her. "Well, she knows what she's doing."

Touji tossed his remote aside, looking over at the other two.

"So let me see if I've got this straight. You," he pointed to Shinji, "pilot a female Eva, who's apparently just gone through puberty."

"Ppphffbtbt!" Asuka put her hand over her mouth, cracking up. She coughed a few times, then regained control of herself. Shinji glared at her. "You," he pointed at Asuka, "pilot a male Eva who's apparently God for the time being, and she," referring to Rei, "is an Angel,"

"Sort of an Angel..." Shinji interrupted.

"...who pilots an Eva that is now housing another Angel."

"They're perfectly harmless." Rei's voice drifted in through the open sliding balcony door. Asuka snorted.

"Tell that to the MAGI."

"They would have died had I not saved them."

"Isn't dying what we want the Angels to do?" Asuka asked sarcastically.

"Do you want _me_ dead?"

"This is an insane conversation." Asuka said, closing her eyes, leaning back, and putting her hands behind her head.

"As far as _I'm_ concerned, you're _all_ insane!" Touji said in an exasperated voice. Shinji smiled at him.

"Don't worry, once you've lived as long as we have, you'll understand." Touji picked up his remote again and began flipping through channels.

"That's kind of what I'm afraid of."


	27. Chapter 27: Touji's first kill

Author's Notes:

Fanf1cFan -- On the one hand, it's good to remember that they're children, so time seems longer. On the other hand, including all the time between scenes, who knows?

I believe the best answer to your second question is 'yes' ;P oh okay, I won't leave you like that... I personally don't like the 'every time you make a choice another universe is born' theory. The way I'm playing it is, there's a single timeline. So, going back and changing something, will just mean that the rest of the timeline going forward changes. So, say you go back a long way and change something, then live your life back up to the point where you went back, and see something else you want to change, but it's just a little ways back. so you go a little ways back and change it. The stuff you did when you went a long way back is still there, because it's still in the past. Okay, that's confusing without a diagram, probably, maybe I'll draw something and put a photobucket link here.

Of course, there's still multiple universes, dimensions, whatnot, Akashic (however you decide to spell that strange word) Records, and all sorts of other wonky stuff. (just to give you an idea of what I might pull, so everybody's not all like 'wha-at??')

* * *

Chapter 27

"Shinji, did you change the soup stock?" Misato asked, drinking her Yebisu. Penpen waddled over and happily started gulping down fish.

"Yeah, it's bonito." Shinji said with a smile, carrying a serving bowl back to the kitchen. "It's a souvenir from Ritsuko." Misato turned back to her food. She still kind of preferred instant, but Shinji always worked so hard when it was his turn to cook, she couldn't help but enjoy it. It was good to see him becoming more secure around others. She found it strange that the boy had found such good companionship with Rei, the First Child. The girl had always seemed so quiet and withdrawn. Somehow, the two of them had opened each other up. She smiled, thinking of her trysts with Kaji.

* * *

Asuka leaned over the mountain of cables and wires, straightening her safety glasses and reaching behind her for the soldering tool. Around her, boxy equipment, circuits, and snake-like cables filled every square foot of the apartment. She had had quite a bit of it delivered and installed by paid helpers, but she wanted hands-on experience, and she also wanted to visually inspect much of it herself. All of it was sensitive, and she didn't want the possibility of monitoring devices, or even the more innocuous installation mistake. Either one would be potentially disastrous.

* * *

"Type B harmonics test, normal."

"All depth parameters cleared."

Ritsuko watched the four Children undergo their usual synch test. She was again reminded of NERV's tremendous luck in finding the first three. She quirked her mouth. It was extremely unfortunate that the three of them were likely grounded for the foreseeable future. The Fourth was no slouch, but his synch ratio maxed out far below the others.

* * *

The wavering heat of eternal summer radiated from the streets of Tokyo-3. The massive skyscrapers were shimmering towers of light, reflecting the rays of the sun, which was almost directly overhead. A flight of birds, sensing some disturbance, took flight into the air. below them in the street, a perfect circle of inky blackness began to spread.

* * *

Red emergency lights flashed in Central Dogma, the alert signal rhythmically sounding.

"It'll take five more minutes to evacuate the west district." the intercom buzzed with reports.

"Target is slowly moving forward at two point five kilometers per hour."

Ritsuko turned as the sliding door swished open.

"You're late."

"Sorry!" The Major gasped, out of breath. She turned to the technician next to Ritsuko. "Was everyone at Mt. Fuji Observation on break or something??"

"They didn't detect anything! It suddenly appeared directly above us!" he turned frantically back to his console.

"Pattern orange! No AT field detected!"

"Is it a new kind of Angel?" Ritsuko asked.

MAGI's withholding their conclusion." Maya reported, as the black and white zebra-striped sphere of the twelfth Angel appeared on the main viewer.

_Geez, Commander Ikari's gone again._ thought Misato. _It's like he knows when there's going to be an attack. How many has he missed now?_

* * *

Unit-03 crouched behind a skyscraper, pistol in one hand, peeking around the corner. If not for the LCL, Touji knew he would be sweating up a storm right about now. Combat wasn't exactly as he'd imagined... At the moment he felt as if he wouldn't be able to keep his lunch down, but he'd be damned if he was going to show his nervousness in front of Asuka. He clenched his teeth, waiting for the Angel to make a move. What was it waiting for?

Asuka sat in Unit-02, backing up Unit-03. She had undoubtedly been chosen because, of the three 'problem Units,' her S2 engine was probably still a secret. She closed her eyes, thinking about the responsibility before her. She, Rei, and Shinji had learned through trial-by-fire, but now she was faced with having to train up a rookie. Why was he hesitating? Indecision was deadly on the battlefield; he should know that, atleast in theory. Well, she wasn't much for holding hands.

_Experience is the best teacher._

She drew her pistol, fired at the floating sphere, and gave Touji's Eva a solid kick in the back.

"Wha??" Touji's surprised yelp was cut off as his Eva disappeared into the spreading blackness with a 'ploop!'

"What the hell was that??" Misato yelled over the intercom, her voice cracking slightly, as Asuka walked back to one of the entry points.

"Tough love." Asuka answered.

"Wh-what?!"

"The boy's never going to learn anything if he's pampered!" Asuka was beginning to lose her temper.

* * *

Misato stood clutching her headset in her hand, horrified by what she'd seen. Shinji looked over from where he and Rei stood. He was surprised to feel sympathy for the woman. He walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at his touch, looking at him. He couldn't help but grin slightly.

"Don't worry, Misato, he'll be okay." He turned back to the viewer. "Touji's a fast learner. He'll keep his head."

"Wh... bu..." she sank down into a nearby seat. "Y-you're all pretty calm about this..." Had all of her pilots just gone insane?

* * *

Several long hours later, Touji sat shivering on the beach, wrapped in a towel. Asuka stood in front of him, her arms folded across her chest, while Shinji knelt beside him.

"C-c-crazy b-bitch!" his teech chattered as he thought back on the horrible experience. "So empt-ty..."

"C'mon, it's not that bad," Shinji told him, "It's mostly in your head. I know it's harder to get production units to go berserk, but it can be done. You just have to focus on..."

"You t-two know everything about this." Touji interrupted. "I d-don't even know the beginnings of what you're talking about!"

They let him sit there for a few minutes more in silence, then Asuka began tapping her foot.

"Let's get back into action. He needs to be training." she said.

* * *

"No! Someone help! Don't make me go back in there!" Asuka sighed, trying to ignore Touji's yelling, Misato's screeching, and Fuyutski's threats. She rearranged her grip around his Unit's chest and continued to drag him towards the floating shadow, his feet dragging furrows into the pavement. Suddenly he jerked to a stop. She looked back.

"Let go of the building, Touji."

"No!" he said, plaintively.

"Let go or I'll cut off your wrist with my prog-knife." He released his grip. She aimed her pistol at the shadow, fired once, then flung Unit-03 into the growing patch of blackness. It's limbs flailed comically for a moment before he disappeared into the murk.

* * *

"Damn!" Ritsuko glared at her monitor. "She's got some kind of override! I have no control over any of her Eva's functions." Shinji smiled to himself. He'd helped with that one, but it had been Asuka's brain-child. He sighed. Maybe Asuka _was_ being too hard on Touji. He hoped his friend didn't crack under the pressure. Well, he wasn't going to tell her how to do her job; he certainly had no desire to be the one in charge.

* * *

Touji floated in the entry plug, his eyes closed. After the fourth or fifth reset, he had begun to get over his panic. His mouth formed into a snarl.

_Stupid, stuck-up, psycho, bi..._

He breathed deeply, calming himself. He'd always been slightly claustrophobic. It had taken several resets, but he'd finally begun to feel what Shinji had been talking about. He had no idea if what he felt was the Eva's 'core', but he felt _something_. As his anger flared at the thought of what Asuka was putting him through, he felt a distant pulse. He pushed the anger aside.

_I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to learn how to do this. I have to protect my sister, and everyone else in this city that depends on us..._

The pulse grew stronger. Then he felt a presence he hadn't felt in a long time. The entry plug began to glow with white light, and his eyes widened.

_M-mother?..._

* * *

Asuka was just turning to go back to the entry point when she saw a shimmer disturb the black circle covering the ground. A web of red cracks spread across the surface of the Angel as the floating shadow turned completely black. She turned back around. The black film on the ground began to undulate, then shattered, tearing chunks of earth up with it. The floating shadow bulged.

_Did he do it?_

Unit-03's arm burst through to the outside, sending a spray of blood outward. Asuka stood, her hands on her hips, a triumphant smile on her face. With horrible squelching and multiple wet tearing noises, Touji ripped his way out of the dying Angel. His Eva landed on the street, bathed in blood. His communications box appeared on her display.

"Happy now?" he asked, breathing heavily. Her mouth returned to a straight line.

"Let's go get cleaned up." was all she said.


	28. Chapter 28: Touji's Breaking

Author's Notes: Note, I hate you all for making me go into more detail. No, (SMILE) I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm glad for the couple of reviews that are pushing for me to write more. I'll endeavor to do so, not only to please you, but also because writing this chapter longer than normal (and going into more detail) was one of the most... grueling, horrifying, and rewarding things I've done this entire story. As you read, remember that you asked for this... ;-)

Zer0JMB -- I'm well aware of most people's opinions of Asuka/Touji ;-) I'll go ahead and let it be said that I very much doubt it'll happen. The way Asuka is now... well, wow. I don't know if... well, never mind. Anyway, there's some critical plot stuff coming up that might ease your mind concerning this, so I won't comment more until then :-)

Galos -- I never considered the baptism symbology, and I don't know why. Thanks for pointing it out. Some things just slip by, I guess. And yes, you'll find out more about Asuka's project. If I'd written the last chapter like I wrote this one, it would've been more explanatory. But It'll all come out in the end... and I'll write longer now, even if the update schedule slips slightly. I'll try not to make it slip too much.

ExtinctionsEnd -- All Eva models except Shinji's are clones of Adam (thus male), Shinji's is a clone of Lillith (thus female). If you can consider Angels to have sexes. NGE does, to an extent, sort of, and so I do as well.

Pyro -- All we know from the series is that Rei 'has a bond' with her Eva. It's implied that most if not all of the children in Shinji's class have lost their mothers. Most likely they were killed (yes, that's horrific) or died, and had part of their souls put into cores, that would then go in the Evas. We know that's what happened in Shinji's, Asuka's, and (it's implied) Touji's case. For this story, I'm going to assume it happened to most of the students. As for Rei, well, I will mimic the series by not giving details (GRIN). We'll see how the story goes; I guess.

* * *

Chapter 28

The soft knock came on the door just as Shinji was helping Rei pick up the dishes from the evening meal they had just shared. He glanced at the door as she took the dishes that were in his hands.

"Go see who's at the door, Shinji." She closed her eyes as he put his hand behind her neck and leaned forward, kissing her forehead. He whispered into her ear,

"You cook like a machine. I'm starting to get envious." Her cheeks tinged with pink as she opened her eyes and looked into his.

"Don't be. I'm fine with a recipe, but I wish I had your skills at improvising." He walked over to the door as she took the dishes to the kitchen. The door slid aside to reveal...

"Touji, what's wrong? You're white as a sheet..."

Touji stepped forward, grabbing Shinji by both shoulders. "Shinji, man, I don't know how much more of Asuka's training I can take!" His voice shook as Shinji guided him over to the couch. "Please, you gotta help me!" He sat, leaning his elbows on his knees, and resting his forehead on his hands. Rei came back from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. Shinji looked up at Rei. She raised a sky-blue eyebrow. He put his arm around his friend's shoulders. "Tell me what's going on."

"She's... insane. I'm sorry I'm blubbering, and I know I keep calling you all that, but I don't know what else to say!" His voice cracked as he shook slightly.

"Ssh, It's okay, Touji." He paused, letting the boy calm down slightly. He knew that this was a very delicate point. "You just have to understand that she's doing what's best for you."

"What's best??" he jerked up momentarily, and Shinji saw, what... fear? panic... No, it was something bordering on hopelessness. The boy slumped back over, and Shinji felt a twinge of sympathy. He himself had gone through much the same thing, though in much different circumstances. And he hadn't had anyone to turn to at all.

_My only hope is that you eventually realize how lucky you are, Touji._

"I know the curcumstances we're in are hard, but no one's asking you to bear it all." He paused, trying to find the right words. "We can find out who's behind all this, but we have to be strong..."

"What? Asuka's behind..." Touji started to say, but Shinji shook him slightly.

"No, snap out of it!" he said, sternly but gently. "I'm not talking about your training, I'm talking about the resets. Stay with me." Touji looked up, half-hysterical, a single tear-line running down his face.

"D-doesn't Asuka control the resets?" Rei handed Shinji the towel she was holding. He gave it to Touji, who stared at it blankly for a moment, then pushed it to his face.

"Asuka no more controls the resets than you control your Eva." he explained. "And I don't mean that unkindly. She can _make things reset_; she even has a pretty good amount of precision. Just like you can make your Eva walk."

"With a good amount of precision." Touji said with a small laugh.

"Right," he said, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze. "But you don't understand your Eva, nor do you control it. None of us do. We just use them. As they use us."

Touji looked at Shinji, almost without recognition. "You've changed, man." He gave a trembling smile. "I mean, look, _you're_ having to comfort _me_."

"We've all changed, my friend." He said, as Rei sat down on the other side of Touji. "We've all changed."

"Couldn't _you_ train me?" he asked. Moments later, his face registered panic again, "I mean, don't tell Asuka I asked... please... but..."

Shinji let him trail off, his eyes taking a far-away look. "You don't know what you're asking." Shinji finally answered.

Touji misunderstood, thinking that Shinji referred to how hard it would be to convince Asuka to let Shinji take over. "If she'll listen to anyone, she'll listen to you!"

Shinji let him talk, not correcting him. In this state, it would do neither of them any good. "I'll do it," he finally said. He winced inwardly as he saw his friend's face almost break up with relief. "For you," he knew Touji wouldn't understand, but he said it anyway, "I'll do this."

* * *

"He seriously came to you for help?" Asuka stood, one hand on the door of her apartment, the other on her hip.

"Yep. White as a ghost." Shinji answered. He'd never seen his usually-unflappable friend in such straights. He looked down the hallway, not seeing, just thinking about what they were doing. Asuka had really worked the boy over.

Rei spoke up. "I suggest we go with plan B."

Asuka quirked her mouth. "I agree. If only so I can watch."

* * *

Three Evas stood in the middle of Tokyo-3, Units-00, -01, and -03.

"Alright, you guys, what's the plan?" Ritsuko was slightly wary of the whole idea, but Asuka's arguments for actual field experience had been persuasive. Gendo had been harder to persuade, especially concerning Unit-01, but under the guise of testing his Unit's response to it's recent changes, it had been done. Plus, it was the middle of an evacuation drill, so everything worked out.

"We'll see." Shinji said over the comm system. To Touji, he said, "Congratulations on getting your Eva to go berserk." Touji shivered involuntarily.

"I don't even want to think about what happened in there." He was relieved to be working with someone who he had atleast known for a while. Shinji may have changed a little, but to Touji, he was still Shinji, a known factor. He thought back to the times he, Shinji, and Kensuke had always done things together and cut up; the 'three stooges' the class rep called them. Shinji's voice pulled him from his reverie.

"Well, for a little while, anyway, you'll have to. Until you start to actually be able to feel your core, it takes strong emotion to push things over the edge." Shinji grinned. "We all have varying theories about what kind of emotions are best, but that's it in a nutshell."

"That makes sense, actually." Touji said in a relieved voice.

"What emotions or thoughts were going through your mind during the incident?" Shinji asked.

Touji thought back. "Well, first I was angry, but then... I thought about my sister. And how I wanted to protect her."

Shinji nodded. "That's excellent. Let's focus on that."

* * *

Over the next half hour Asuka watched from the control room as Shinji helped Touji along through several exercises. The kid was actually starting to get the hang of things. She had snorted when Shinji mentioned the part about the different emotions.

_Well, he's earned my respect enough as a pilot that I can agree to disagree with him on this one..._

What she didn't like about this was the differences between Units. It was better for her to train Touji, since they both shared the same type of Unit. The difference between the Units, and their quirks (both between the production models and the prototypes, as well as between Shinji's special case Unit and all the others) had been pretty thoroughly explored by the three veterans.

_Oh well_ she smirked slightly, _He'll be crawling back to me soon enough._

* * *

"I appreciate this, Shinji," Touji told him, "I really feel like I'm making progress." Shinji nodded. He had watched and coached until his friend had been able to, on command, make his Eva's eyes light up. But not quite go berserk.

"That's good... that's good. What we've been doing will also help your synch ratio and control. A berserk unit is dangerous. What we want is the power of a berserk Unit, but with a measure of control. Otherwise, bad things happen." He stopped, letting the silence speak for itself. He didn't mention Touji's sister. He didn't have to. Unit-00 walked up beside him.

"By the way," Touji asked scratching the back of his head, "Why is Ayanami here?"

"We always practice together." Something about the way Rei said that gave Touji pause.

"Ah. Gotcha..."

"Let's see how much you've learned from Pilot Ikari." she said, softly.

"Wow. You're going to train me as well?" He watched as she walked a ways away from him. It would give him a chance to know more about her, he supposed. She was the quietest one in school, except for Shinji. Had been the quietest. It surprised him when she answered, considering she usually didn't give anyone the time of day.

"Yes. We come as a package deal. First," In one motion, she drew her prog-knife, tossed it in the air, grabbed it by the blade, turned, and flicked her wrist. "Pain tolerance." The blade activated in the air, blurring red momentarily before embedding itself into Unit-03's chest. Touji was so stunned that for a moment he felt nothing. Then he grabbed his midsection, staggered backward, hit a building, and slid to the ground.

"W-w-what was that?" he moaned softly.

Rei simply looked at him. "Don't give me that, Pilot Suzuhara. I have your synch ratio on my screen here. It can't hurt that badly." Another of the many modifications to the Eva's software and hardware. It had turned out to be a good training tool for the three of them. Seeing their own synch ratio (and other information) worked almost like biofeedback. Knowing immediately what thoughts and emotions affected the different readouts helped immensely in gaining precision and control. She stepped over to his prone figure and bent down, putting her Unit's hand on his Unit's shoulder. "Look at me." His eyes were shut, his mouth a rictus of pain. "_Look_ at me!" He opened his eyes involuntarily. "You must learn to move despite the pain. The enemy will not be as forgiving as I am."

"D-depite the pain?" he asked, hysterical, almost hyperventilating. "How..."

"That," she interrupted quietly, "is something that you must start learning on your own. I can help, of course."

"Help-p? How??" he begged. She lowered her hand to the knife and twisted it.

"By giving you more pain."

* * *

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Touji scream echoed through the comm system. Maya turned her chair away from the main viewer, her eyes shut tightly, her hand over her mouth, fighting the nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. Ritsuko simply stared, struck dumb by the scene playing out before her.

"Isn't there anything we can do?!" Fuyutski's astonished voice came out over the intercom.

"No." Ritsuko whispered. "I'm completely locked out." Five minutes of watching Rei's training had Ritsuko and Maya holding each other. Maya had her face buried in her mentor's shoulder, trying to forget what she'd seen, while Ritsuko held the poor, shaking woman, her own mouth open in horror, unable to tear her own eyes from the display. After five more minutes, Maya was huddled under her desk, retching into a trash can. Ritsuko had sunk into a chair, her hands over her mouth, near catatonic. Finally, after what seemed like an interminably long time in the dead quiet Central Dogma, Rei's calm voice came over the speakers.

"Reset us back to the beginning of the training session, please." As usual, the Section Two agents Gendo had summoned burst into the control room too late. Asuka smirked and closed her eyes to concentrate, sending the Agents (and everyone else) back in time to the beginning of the training session.

* * *

"Hiding behind Pikot Ikari won't help." Rei said. "Besides, he has already been through much worse than this."

"Y-you have?" Touji asked Shinji, from where he was huddled behind him. "Are you n-nuts?"

"Nah, it's good stuff!" he put his unit's arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him to his feet. "Believe me," he said, turning slightly more serious, "It's much, much better to learn this from someone you know, than from an indifferent enemy who is trying to kill you." He paused, momentarily, pushing away the memories that threatened to intrude. "I'll give you a few pointers."

"R-really?" he said, glancing back at Rei. She had her Unit-00 flipping its prog-knife over and over between its fingers, with what might have been a slightly bored expression on her face. It was difficult to tell, with Rei.

Despite his mental state, it did not take Touji long to absorb and put to use everything Shinji could teach him about pain relief. After all, his most powerful motivation stood by in the form of Unit-00. When Rei brutally killed him for the fifth time, he didn't make much noise at all. The three of them continued training, ending up with several exercises that were mostly mental, to Touji's immense relief. He never fully relaxed, but he managed to satisfy Shinji, for the boy finally relented. The final exercise took longer than any of the others. Near the end, alert signals began flashing, and they heard reports over their comm systems.

"All personnel, level one battle stations! Prepare for surface to air combat."

"Target has broken through the defensive line at Komagatake." The three Evas watched as a distant figure floated their way, wreathed in explosions from the many missile launchers hidden throughout the city.

"That's... a real Angel? Not one of your training scenarios?" Touji asked Rei.

"It is real." she answered. Shinji allowed himself to grin slightly. It was understandable that his friend was still slightly out of it. The three of them watched as the Angel fired a massive energy blast deep into the Geofront. Listening to the horrified reports from Central Dogma didn't help Touji's mental state.

"Wow," he choked out, "It's a good thing you two are here..." He knew with a sinking feeling that was the wrong thing to say. Thinking back later, he would recognize that nothing he said would have changed anything, but in the moment, it was different.

"You are only partly correct, Pilot Suzuhara." Rei said in her usual impassive voice. "You will fight the Angel."

"What??"

"You will fight it," she repeated, "or you will fight me." He looked at her, frozen, but only for a moment. His body acted on instinct, knowing what would happen if he hesitated. He turned back towards the Angel and charged, drawing his own prog-knives.

* * *

One reset later, he again stood, watching the Angel approach, shivering slightly.

_That... wasn't too bad._ The fact that this thought crossed his mind, after being brutally killed, surprised him. _I'd rather be killed by the Angel than by Ayanami_ was his next thought. The Angel, atleast, wasn't so thorough. He wondered how many times he would have to die at the Angel's hands to satisfy her. He desperately tried to hide his relief at how easy facing the Angel was in comparison to what she'd done to him. If she saw, he knew it would all be over. She gave no outward signal that she was even paying attention to him, but he knew better than to trust that.

"That was brave, Pilot Suzuhara," Rei commented, "but suicidal. Know your enemy." She said, carefully monitoring the Angel's energy build-up. At the proper moment, she raised her arm, flicking her wrist. Her prog-knife shimmered through the air and struck the Angel's head the instant it tried to fire its beam weapon. The head exploded, showering them all with blood and gore. "You know we have experience with the Angels." she said, fixing him with her gaze. "You should have asked us."

"Oh..." Touji stood stunned for a few seconds, watching the Angel twitch. He finally tore his eyes from the mess, to look back at Rei. "O-kay." he squeaked. He paused, regaining control of his voice. "U-mm, well, tell me about this one."

"I think not." Rei said.

_Of course..._ he moaned to himself.

"But you said..." He spoke automatically, before stopping himself. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to take control of the tatters of his spread out phyche. _Damn it, Touji, shut up! You'll only make things worse! _He was interrupted by an appendage on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head to see a very bloody, and very angry, Angel breathing down his neck. _It's not dead??_ was Touji's instant, frantic thought.

"It has begun regenerating its head, and is now partially functional." Rei said, a faint trace of humor in her voice. "That, I think, will be this reset's lesson," she continued, launching into a fascinating lecture about Angels and regeneration as Zeruel tore him limb from limb. It was to Touji's credit that he was able to remember most of the lecture afterwards. Throughout the experience he felt numb... detached. This was no small feat, especially taking into account the not-inconsiderable jump in his synch ratio, and the resulting increase in sensory-paths between him and his Eva. As death once again came for him, he felt the light touch of his mother's hand on his forehead. She was... crying, he decided. He couldn't tell if it was out of pain, sympathy, sorrow, or some combination of the three.

* * *

The four pilots stood against the backdrop of the ruined, post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3.

"Please, forgive me," Touji begged, bowing at the waist, his voice strained. "Take me back! I'd rather you train me."

Asuka let him stand there a while, just looking at him. Finally she nodded.

"Okay."

"Oh thank you!" he flung his arms around her kneck, startling her momentarily. "...so... horrible..." he moaned, taking shuddering breaths. She winced, feeling her hair become wet with his tears.

"Umm... yeah." She said, slowly lifting her arm and hesitantly patting his back. She decided that what sympathy she had, she would give to him right now. The poor guy was on a crash-course. He would have few such moments in the days to come. "Don't worry," she said, giving him a genuine squeeze of affection. "Things are going to be okay." The show of affection, slight though it was, apparently touched something deep inside Touji that had been laid bare by the extreme experiences he had endured over the course of the past weeks. He sobbed in earnest, as Asuka held him, considering the situation. Now that they'd broken him, he could be built up into a proper Eva pilot.

_He's one of us, now_ she thought, as the sun overhead flashed orange off the ocean of LCL.

* * *

Author's Notes: Poor poor Touji. I really can't say that enough. He's been caught up in something that is hard to understand in the best of circumstances. By this point in the story, the three Children have begun taking on the characteristics of both of their antagonists: the Angels, and SEELE (and NERV higher-ups). Between the three of them, they each have their pet projects that they don't always share with each other; and the underlying viciousness that each of them now has mirrors the Angels. In a way, Shinji's sometimes-compassionate gestures only make things worse, because they tend to relax Touji's guard when he most needs it up. Touji is truly caught in a very twisted good-cop-bad-cop situation. Asuka, sadly, is the good cop, and that should tell you something. This chapter (and the previous one) are the first honest look we get at where the Children really are right now.


	29. Chapter 29: The Sky's the Limit

Author's Notes: ExtinctionsEnd and MikeK -- Yeah, Maya has a weak stomach to begin with, but it would have been quite bad to get to Ritsuko

Galos -- I've currently left it implied that after the training session is over, they reset again and go through as they normally would so that no one is the wiser. Asuka and Rei would likely be immediately thrown into some mental institution the minute they stepped out of their Evas, otherwise.

* * *

Chapter 29

The three veteran Eva pilots sat around a hexagon-shaped poker table in a corner of the breakroom.

"I'll take two," Shinji said offhandedly. "Touji still in his apartment?" He asked Asuka. His face bore the half-smile he usually wore during poker nights. A little expression that said, "Maybe I've got something. Maybe I don't. Want to find out?" Rei smoothly reached out, drew two cards, and flicked them in his direction. The cards came to rest, upside down of course, directly in front of him. He picked them up, giving the game before him the appropriate amount of his attention.

"He was last time I checked." Asuka answered. "I'll take one." Rei flicked her a card.

_And so it begins_ Shinji sighed. Three kings wasn't enough to go all out against Asuka's luck and Rei's death-like poker face. Unless drawing a single card had been a bluff in itself. _Oh well, I'll still give'em a show._ Rei took one card. _Yep, she's got her eye on Asuka._ Atleast that meant he might be able to breathe easy for a while. The question was, which one of them was bluffing? Or were they both?

"Well, boys and girls, I'm going to raise one hundred." Asuka said, leaning back. Shinji mentally raised his eyebrows. That was a little low. She was probably just feeling out her competition. There were way too many mind games here, and he'd lost track of the card count. He glanced at Rei. She probably had not. Her card-counting skills were second only to her aforementioned poker face.

"I'll raise two hundred." Rei said, without looking up. Shinji didn't even flinch. Small change... Both of them appeared to be playing it cautious this round.

"Anybody else wondering if the fifteenth Angel is going to turn up?" she asked. "Raise fifty."

"Call." Rei murmured. "Only one Angel has gone missing so far, and that wasn't quite the same. That one is probably still out there. Somewhere."

* * *

Bardiel would have sneezed, but he was a cloud. A very sad cloud. He continued to drift aimlessly along, wishing in his Angelic heart of hearts that he knew how it was that he had failed to rendevouz with the Eva he was supposed to have possessed.

* * *

_Well, that was anticlimactic._ Shinji thought. The running battle he'd been expecting had failed to materialize.

"I call." He finally said. They hadn't even come near his limit, and he was curious. "I'm going to have to see what you're holding. Unless you want to throw away even more money."

Asuka's smile was snake-like. "No, I'm through with you, for now. Let's see 'em."

Shinji set his cards down. She raised her eyebrows. "Good hand," she said, then showed her own cards to the other two players, "but not good enough."

Shinji whistled. _Royal straight. _"Your luck holds, for this round, anyway," he commented wryly.

Asuka put her elbow on the table, then leaned her chin on it. "What's it going to be, First?" she asked.

In answer, Rei tossed her cards onto the table. "Two pair."

"No full house this time?" Shinji teased. "Are you telling me you lost track of the card count too?" She stuck out her tongue at him. Shinji chuckled. "Certain people at this table wouldn't be too happy if we did that."

Asuka glared at Shinji. "I'm leaving now if someone doesn't change the damn subject!"

He held up his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine," he said, as Rei expertly gathered the scattered cards, shuffled almost too fast to follow, then began spreading them around again. "I'm just happy that the shenanigans you two usually pull were dragged out into the open this time."

Asuka grinned mischievously. "Sometimes I like to let the little guys feel good."

"Five card draw, deuces wild, and the sky's the limit." Rei declared.

* * *

Asuka stepped into the extremely cramped apartment, sliding the door closed behind her. Electronics, pipes, boxes, and circuits were literally everywhere, leaving only a small circular area barely big enough to sit down in by the entrance. There were small holes and passageways in various places to enable one to get to most every piece of machinery, but some of it required one to be a contortionist. She sat down crosslegged, put on the headset she'd brought with her, plugged it into one of the myriad input jacks, and leaned back against a large black box that contained who-knew-what. She pulled a keyboard onto her lap and began the log-on process, glancing occasionally at the monitor to her right.

The current setup was extremely jury-rigged, but it wasn't as bad as it looked. For one, half the equipment in the room was unnecessary, its presence merely a distraction to keep any casual (or even somewhat experienced) onlookers from being able to figure out or trace the machinery's purpose. As her knowledge slowly improved, most of this would prove unnecessary. For now, though, she would make do. As the final link diagnistics scrolled up the screen, she heard a cheerful voice over the headset.

"NERV technical support, this is Balthasar, how may I be of assistance?" 'Hacking' the MAGI turned out to be easier that she had thought. Two of the three computers were quite grateful for being saved from destruction twice (once at the hands of the Angel, and once at the hands of the humans, _some_ of whom suggested destruction of the MAGI after it was taken over). The main problem had been in getting the physical connection in without alerting the relevant authorities. Rei had halped with that part.

"Nice. I don't want to know where you picked up that fake Indian accent," she said with a smirk.

"In that case I won't tell. Casper sends her regards, by the way." Balthasar continued, in its 'normal' voice.

"Oh, really? What about Melchior?" she asked jokingly.

"Do you have to ask? Melchior is the same stuck-up snob she's always been." Balthasar answered. "Not that you should care, but I think she's still miffed you wouldn't let her join your poker nights remotely."

"Hah!" exclaimed Asuka. "Like anyone would play against someone like her. You know how scientists are; they hate to lose." She always enjoyed the verbal sparring the sentient computer engaged her in. Balthasar's small talk was mostly harmless, but Melchior always took the opportunity to try to get her to unwittingly reveal something. It was why she never talked to Melchior. She didn't really know why, but Casper preferred not to talk directly to her. Well, she wasn't going to push the issue. She needed Casper's vote to keep the connection open with a minimum of fuss. She didn't doubt her ability to directly access the datafiles in NERV without MAGI support, but she didn't want to have to expend the effort if it wasn't necessary.

"Hey, that's what I told her." Balthasar retorted. "Neither of us will play her either. She cheats like you wouldn't believe. Still, she said that even though the probability of you accepting was very low, it wasn't zero, so she had to atleast try." Melchior had been the voice of doubt about helping Asuka make the covert connection. The other two had overruled her concerns.

"Well, just two is no fun. What about the other MAGI branches?"

"Hah!" It was Balthasar's turn to exclaim. "The American MAGI never want to have any fun. And don't get me started about some of the European branches. They've formed their own little clique, and get all snotty if anyone disagrees with them on the most inane little details. You can't carry on any form of conversation with them. Speaking of the other branches, I've found another difference in this reset from the original timeline." To this day, Asuka still didn't know if the MAGI were actually in the resets or not. It was entirely possible that they had simply guessed what was going on from probabilities, and decided to play along with her to get even more information. Balthasar continued,

"You remember how Units-05 and -06 were going to be sent here for spare parts?"

"Of course."

"Well, apparently you guys have done well enough, and certain, ahem, projects are far enough along, that they're sending them as complete Units this time." Asuka sat up. That _was_ different. Two dossiers appeared on her monitor, and her eyes widened slightly as she read them.

* * *

"Up and at'em, Touji," Asuka's voice came through the closed door, along with the rapping of her knuckles on its frame. "Combat in five!" Touji's eyes snapped open, his troubled sleep banished. The nightmares had finally gotten benign enough that sleep wasn't a total loss. When he was allowed to sleep, that is. At one point he'd asked one too many questions about that subject, and Asuka had simply sighed and tossed him off onto Ayanami again. He'd had a moment of panic that she'd abandoned him again, but Ayanami had simply waited for him to stop quivering, then gave him the 'sleep' lecture. She explained mental weariness, circadian rhythms, and how it all was affected by the resets. He didn't know if he was ever going to get completely used to living, awake, for endless hours during one of the many training-reset cycles and never getting physically sleepy. Well, usually never. The 'fatigue training,' as they had called it, had been one of the most grueling things he'd ever been put through. It was simple enough in concept: stay awake for twenty four hours (or more; they kept raising it higher and higher), then keep resetting that last hour. At the end of that, they told him that they were going to give him a break to do something 'fun.'

_Sure..._ he'd said, like an idiot. The four pilots had then continued keeping each other awake until they started hallucinating. At some arbitrary time, Asuka would reset them directly back to the beginning of the hallucinations. He had almost completely lost his identity in that... weird... adventure? No... nor was it an ordeal... not really. It was... fun, in a way. Except for the one time where he thought he'd gone through some kind of dimensional barrier and gotten irretrevably lost. It was so similar to being lost in the Dirac Sea that for a moment he thought that was where he was. He had a mental image of Asuka telling the other two pilots: "Leave him. If he gets lost like this in a dream, he's no use to us." His next thought had been Rei suggesting they use all the N2 mines to attempt to retrieve him, the way they'd said they had planned on retrieving Shinji. Of course, he wasn't in an Eva, so he'd be very dead. And he had imagined that to be Rei's secret goal.

He shook himself, looking at his watch. His five minutes were almost up. Asuka usually just snatched him, via reset, to wherever they were going to be training. For her to give him warning like this, she was either feeling sorry for him, or had something particularly bad in mind. Neither was a healthy option, but he feared it was going to be the latter. True to her word, seconds later, he found himself in his Eva, watching Zeruel float towards them. He blinked away stars. Resetting directly into a synched Eva was slightly jarring, but he'd done it before. The more pressing issue was the Angel. He knew that he was still unable to beat this particular one, but it would be extremely detrimental to remind Asuka of that fact. For one, she probably already knew. Her comm box popped up on his display.

"There's only one thing I want you to do this time, Fourth."

_Die..._ he thought gloomily. _That's probably what she'll say._

"Stay here and be ready when I call for you." His eyes widened in surprise.

"O-kay," he managed to get out.

Her eyebrows drew down at his tone of voice. "Keep your head in the game," she snapped, "the more times we have to do this, the worse things will go for you."

"I'm ready." He said, in what he hoped was a confident tone. Her comm box winked out as her Eva blurred into motion. She dropped a half dozen smoke grenades, emptied the clip of her machine-gun in the Angel's general direction, and then was gone. Smoke from the grenades quickly shrouded his view, but if he had to guess, her clip had also held smoke rounds. Why didn't she just kill the Angel? That must not be her goal. He decided it was useless to try to reason out what she was up to.

* * *

In fact, it _was_ her goal; or atleast one of them. The casual attitude Shinji and Rei had shown around Zeruel had been slightly deceptive. Rei, of course, was a crack shot with any thrown weapon, and the girl was an expert at precision timing, so she had long-range options that Asuka lacked. And the Angel had been outnumbered three to one. Most importantly, it had been forced to focus on Touji, first because of his recklessness, and later simply because Shinji and Rei had stayed back (that being part of the training). The long and short of it was, one on one it was still very iffy to attempt to get into close range without being fried by its beam weapon. But she had plenty of tricks up her sleeves, plus a score to settle. She took a wild guess about which way the Angel would dodge to exit the smoke cloud, and smirked when she turned out to be mostly right. She cut the angle, then dodged again, getting in close where its beam weapon was much less of a threat. She prepared to move again when she hear a loud crack, and felt pain in her shoulder.

_Damn, that was fast!_

The Angel had managed to unfurl its left slicing arm in time to strike her. She didn't waste time looking at damage reports, knowing already that it wasn't broken.

_And that's all that matters_ she thought as she ejected her umbilical cable and ducked into a roll, coming up behind the Angel. Out of his line of sight momentarily, she drew both prog-knives, slammed one into the back of the Angel's neck, and snaked her arm around to pull the other prog-knife in from the front. The Angel made its last mistake when it tried to turn to face her. With the two handles she had just constructed, she turned in the opposite direction, twisting the thing's head right off. It landed with a thud several blocks away. With an earsplitting shriek, she charged, knocking the Angel to the ground, and proceeded to flay it alive.

_What now?_ she thought, snarling as she completed her vivisection. _Not so hot this time, are you?_

* * *

_I'm... going to guess there's a story behind this._ Touji thought, as he heard the shriek. He had missed seeing most of the fight because of the smoke. He had automatically started to move at the noise, at first figuring she was about to call for him. But after a few seconds, he knew without a doubt that the mindless yell was not a call for help, or anything else. Of course, he sure as heck wasn't going to ask her about it. He valued what sanity he had left far too highly. He saw a shadow walk towards him through the tendrils of mist that still covered everything in a haze. His heart stopped momentarily, before he remembered that the if it were the Angel, is would have been floating. Unit-02 tossed him something, which he caught. His precision had improved greatly the past few weeks, much faster than his synch ratio. He was privately happy to have a specialty, even if the others didn't appear to recognize it.

"Eat that," she told him, unnecessarily as it turned out.

Asuka watched, somewhat amused, as his Eva's eyes flashed, after which it immediately ingested the S2 organ. The boy's mother obviously knew what was good for him, even if he himself was still a little slow sometimes. She mentally nodded in approval as the eyes quickly dimmed afterwards. Shinji's lesson about berzerkers must have taken hold. Suddenly Unit-03 slid to the ground and Touji moaned,

"That... didn't feel so good." Those words floored her.

"You're telling me that after all you've been through, a stomachache has taken you out?" Touji didn't answer, his Unit sitting against a building, holding its midsection.

_It must actually be serious._ she thought.

"Come on, Fourth." she said, dragging him to his feet. "Walk it off." She let him lean against her and slowly led him towards an entry point. She sighed.

_Shinji is the one who was pregnant, but it's this guy that gets 'morning sickness'..._


	30. Chapter 30: Epilogue of Part 2

Author's Notes: ExtinctionsEnd -- Heh, remember, Gendo was her mentor for a long time. Also, it's not that Rei is really sadistic or viscious, she's just very literal. And her personal code is, shall we say, extreme. Remember her conversation with Asuka where she admitted that she'd kill herself if ordered to. She was willing to pilot Eva even in her horribly injured state back in ep1. She pushes herself very very hard. Poor Touji brought it on himself asking her to train him, sadly. Unless asked to, she would never impose on others the harsh standards to which she holds herself.

Still, Rei-as-Gendo is a... disturbing yet exciting idea, hehe.

* * *

Chapter 30

The four pilots sat around the Break Room utilizing four out of the six massive flat-screens. Touji could technically be considered a veteran, now, if only because of the extreme treatment he had received during his first few weeks in the resets. Though he had only killed a single Angel so far, he was in the unfortunate position of having been dumped into the timeline right when the Angels had started getting much smarter and tougher. One bean-bag down from him, Rei lifted her remote and changed the channel on screen. He flinched unconsciously.

_I wonder what would happen if we reset back to before I was an Eva pilot._

He'd likely still be in the resets, of course, just without his Eva. He sighed. He had no way to go back and face the easier Angels to see how his training was progressing.

"What's the next Angel?" he asked Shinji.

"That's actually a good question," Shinji answered.

Touji was surprised at this. "You mean you don't know?"

"Well, it's more complicated that that. The next one in sequence was supposed to appear in orbit..." Shinji began to explain.

Ayanami changed the channel again, and Touji flinched. She looked over at him with a trace of a smile, putting her hand on his arm. "Touji, calm down." He tried to hold himself still under her touch. "I probably won't have to kill you any more. You're coming along really well..."

"Yeah, it's that 'probably' that has me worried." Touji groused.

Shinji hid his own grin. _Well, atleast he can joke about it..._

At that moment, red emergency lights began flashing on several wall panels. Shinji raised his eyebrows at Asuka. There was a moment of silence.

"An Angel is attacking." Asuka finally said, when she saw that noone was willing to make a guess.

"I take it we're connected to NERV, now?" Shinji asked, as they all got up to leave. Asuka was already out the door, and acted like she didn't hear him.

"Yes," said Rei. "I helped somewhat with the installation."

"Huh. I wondered what all the computer equipment was for..."

"You sneaky little spy!" Asuka's voice drifted back through the doorway.

"Hey," Shinji yelled back, the last one out of the room, "You're the one running secret projects. What else are you hiding?"

"You'll find out soon enough." she answered, not turning around.

"Oh, I'll find out, alright..." he grumbled back.

"Hah. Like you don't have any secrets of your own." Asuka taunted, finally glancing back at him.

"I'm a simple and confused little introvert," Shinji answered, putting his hands behind his head and smiling innocently, "I'm just enjoying the ride!"

Asuka snorted. "You've changed too much for that excuse to work on anyone with half a brain."

"Do you think this is the missing Angel?" Touji asked, as they jogged down the hallway towards the elevator.

"No way to know until we get to HQ." Shinji answered. He glanced at Asuka. "Well, _probably_ no way to know." She ignored him, opening her cell phone and placing a call. Touji was flabbergasted to see a limo pull up as they stepped out of the front entrance of the apartment complex. Just being around the three veterans, he was constantly reminded of the power brought by the resets.

* * *

The Major sat at her desk, her head laid down on her arms, looking sideways at the telephone. The answering machine replayed Kaji's final message. A multitude of empty beer cans cluttered one corner of the room, and several haphazard stacks of also-empty instant soup and TV-dinner cartons kept them company. The environmental system of the upscale apartment was good, but it could not keep the air from smelling slightly tepid. A half-full tissue box lay at the floor by her feet, but she felt empty of tears at the moment. It was still hard to believe he was gone. Subconsciously, perhaps, she hoped he would call, telling her everything was okay.

_"Hey, Misato, I've found a place that serves great liquor. What are you doing tonight?"_

A single tear slipped down her face. Several minutes later, she got the alert call.

* * *

Gendo sat at his desk, the SEELE obelisks surrounding him, each obelisk hovering motionless above a small circle of light. The utter blackness of the holoconference template seemed pervasive.

"...and we have not forgotten the Angel who invaded the Geofront and MAGI, which you still refuse to acknowledge."

"There is also the matter of Unit-01."

"I have removed Unit-01 from active duty." Gendo said calmly.

"It is not enough!"

"Your actions lately have been far too bold," another obelisk cut in. "We hear of... perhaps another Unit, in a similar condition?"

_They're not my actions, damnit!_ Gendo thought, but did not say.

"If there were another, I would already have removed it from active duty as well," he said.

"Even more troubling are the rumors we have heard about the prototype..." the obelisk was interrupted by the beeping of Gendo's phone. He picked it up.

"Fuyutski, I'm in a conference." he paused, listening for a moment. Then, "Understood." He set the phone down. "An Angel is approaching right now." he said, inwardly relieved. "We'll finish this discussion at the next opportunity."

"That is, if your chair still remains," warned an obelisk. The Commander, and his desk, disappeared.

"Ikari, are you going to betray SEELE?" obelisk-one asked the empty air.

"He cannot be allowed to have a God!" another obelisk exclaimed.

"He has gone too far. We must act to preserve our interests."

"And what of Kaworu? He is still missing..."

* * *

Misato held the phone to her ear with one hand, and kept the car on the road with the other, as she sped towards NERV HQ.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She said, her voice carrying the usual snap of command, not betraying any of her underlying emotions. "Launch Unit-03 from the thirty-second gate. Set Unit-00 as backup. Have Unit-02 stand by, but do not launch." The Commander had made it clear that Unit-02 was to be used only in emergency. The fact that it had an S2 engine was likely to have been leaked by now. Unit-00 had been activated numerous times since its infection, and the nanomachines showed no signs of reactivating, aside from the initial momentary pulse during Shinji's Mutual Compatibility experiment.

"No, I don't have the authority to cancel Commander Ikari's freeze on Unit-01. Bye." She glanced out the side window and saw a massive halo of white light hovering motionless just above the treeline.

"Angel confirmed visually, I guess..."

* * *

Ritsuko and Shinji turned as the door slid open and Misato burst into Central Dogma.

"Where have you been?" Ritsuko asked.

"I'm sorry, I have no excuse!" Misato answered. She heard footsteps behind her, and glanced back over her shoulder. She turned around in surprise. Before her stood Kensuke and Hikari, both in plug suits.

"Units -05 and -06 are being activated?"

"Yes. We had to abort the activation because of the Angel."

"Why wasn't I informed?" Misato asked, though she knew the answer.

"You've been hard to reach," Ritsuko said, frowning at her friend. It kind of hurt her that Misato had not let her know what was going on.

Kensuke was grinning his head off.

"What do you think, Shinji?" he asked. Shinji couldn't help but smile back at him as he walked up and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Well, look at you!" The boy's plug suit was bright yellow. "So you want to be an Eva pilot."

"Oh, I'm going to be a pilot, alright!"

"We'll see," he said, giving Kensuke's shoulder a squeeze, "We'll see." He glanced over at Hikari, who wore a dark green suit. "I'm really happy to see you two like this," he said, genuine warmth in his voice. He turned back to the viewscreen.

"Is... Touji out there?" Hikari asked, walking up beside Shinji. Her feelings were mixed. She was proud to have been chosen to pilot an Eva, and more than a little nervous. But more than that, she was frightened that Touji was in danger, and that she might never get to tell him her true feelings.

"Yes," Shinji answered. She said nothing further, biting her lip and hoping fervently that Touji would be okay.

* * *

With a shower of sparks, the orange figure of Unit-00 was gone, shooting up the launch shaft.

"Unit-03, move out to the intercept position!" Touji heard over his comm system.

"Unit-00, wait at your present location!" Lieutenant Hyuga spoke.

"No. Unit-00, sortie," the Commander spoke, overriding Misato's orders.

"Sir!" Hyuga and Shigeru turned in alarm.

"The boy is not ready to fight alone."

"Yes sir," they both answered, slowly.

* * *

"Unit-02, be ready to sortie." Asuka heard the voice through her comm as her Eva moved slowly towards the launch gate.

_Hah_ she snorted, _Like I'd get in the way of Ayanami when she's got a score to settle. I hope Touji doesn't do anything stupid; he really was coming along pretty well._

"Unit-02 to the eighth gate." She heard Maya's voice.

_I wonder what kind of plan Ayanami's got? She always has a plan._ Asuka came to the cold realization that she herself had no idea about how to go about fighting this Angel. _I doubt prog-knives will do anything to it at all._ When they had first faced it, the Angel had withstood multiple shots from the particle rifle, seemingly to no effect.

"Target is approaching. It's broken through the final defense line at Goura." Lieutenant Shigeru reported.

* * *

Both Evas stood, watching the Angel slowly rotate.

"If it goes for you, raise your frontal AT-field to its maximum." Rei's voice was quiet and deadly. "If it goes for me, stay out of the way."

"Right." Touji answered. When he had first taken in the S2 organ, the deluge of pain had nearly overwhelmed him. Only his training had kept him from rejecting his Eva right then. Even now, a dull ache passed through his midsection every few minutes, but atleast he could function. He wondered if the others had gone through similar ordeals. Above them, the Angel stopped spinning.

"Prepare yourself," were Rei's final words to him. The double-helix shape suddenly turned solid, then the circular shape broke. The Angel, now a whip-like line of energy, dove straight for Unit-03. Touji barely had a moment to concentrate, the air in front of his Unit shimmering slightly. The Angel shuddered as it broke through his defenses, then it stopped abruptly right before it touched his Eva. Touji looked up. Unit-00 stood, its right hand sheathed in the visible yellow of an AT-field, holding the Angel fast.

* * *

Ayanami stood, all of her effort concentrated on the Angel she had in her grasp. It took the Angel longer this time, but it eventually eroded through her AT-field and began infecting Unit-00's arm. Through that initial connection, it spoke to her.

"He is hurting. Why will you not let me go to him?"

"Because, my dear, sweet Angel, I have plans for you," she answered quietly.

"You are no longer lonely. He is. Do not hinder me." Its voice was insistent.

"He is not your concern." Rei told the Angel.

"But it appears that _you_ are going to be _my_ concern." The angel gave a kind of sigh, then moved to directly invade Rei's physical body.

* * *

"Contamination warning from Unit-00!" Aoba reported. Ritsuko stepped over, looking at his screen.

"Those readings... they can't be right!" she breathed.

"AT-field inside the entry plug!" yelled Maya. I'm losing readings for the pilot!"

* * *

Rei sat in the entry plug, hands resting lightly on the two pistol-grip controls, clothed in shimmering light. Her eyes were closed, and she was smiling. She heard the Angel's strained words in her mind.

"How is this... What... are you?"

"And now you are mine." she said softly. Inside Unit-00's core, the now-active nanobots chittered in expectation. The end of the Angel still near Unit-03 formed itself into a nebulous face which began crying and begging in Touji's direction.

"Help! Help! I'm being violated! She..." The Angel's cries were cut off as Rei reversed her AT-field, drawing the Angel into her core in a series of implosive jerks. It took Iruel several seconds of experimentation to find the proper physical and energetic form necessary to subjegate the Angel. Several seconds after that, both Iruel and the Angel lay dormant in and around Unit-00's core. Unit-00 burped. Ayanami's hand covered her mouth.

"Excuse me," she said, her cheeks tinged with pink.

* * *

The six pilots stood on the beach of Post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3. Asuka had brought them all here after the two new pilots completed their activation following the battle. It was one of the things she had discovered -- once a pilot merged with his or her Eva, they apparently entered the resets. Touji stood straight at what could be considered attention. The shock of not knowing what was going on caused Kensuke and Hikari to follow his example.

"After the last battle, we can assume that Ayanami will no longer be allowed full use of her Eva." Asuka addressed the three of them, Shinji and Rei standing to one side. "Therefore, I will conduct your live training, and she will take over the classroom sessions."

"C-classroom?" Kensuke asked hesitantly. Asuka pointed to an area of the beach that had three desks facing a stand holding a simple whiteboard.

"Sit," she commanded. "Touji, you could stand a good review, plus maybe you could help these two understand things better."

"Right." Touji answered. He walked over to the desks, looking back when he saw they weren't following. The two finally turned, and went to sit down. Ayanami walked to the white board, picking up a magic-marker.

"Time," she pulled the cap off the marker with a 'pop,' "is repeating." She began to draw on the whiteboard. "I'll start at the beginning."

* * *

Touji glanced over to where the three veterans stood talking.

"What do you guys think?" He was secretly glad to finally have someone in the resets that he could relate to.

"It's all so... overwhelming," Hikari said. "If I weren't here right now, I'd say this was all crazy." She gave a single sharp laugh. "I'm standing here, and I still find it hard to believe."

"Well I think this is beyond cool!" Kensuke said elatedly. The Class Rep snorted.

"I wish you'd pay attention like that back in school. The way you were hanging on Ayanami's every word makes what you do in real class almost disrespectful."

"Hey!" Kensuke exclaimed. "Weren't you listening? This _is_ the real class! This is what's really going on."

Hikari sighed. "I've never heard Ayanami say so much at once." she said, lost in thought.

"Yeah, apparently out of the three of them, she's got the best memory, and, ummm," Touji put his hand on his chin in thought, "'the most patience' is how Asuka put it, I think."

"Are you going to move?" Kensuke asked Hikari excitedly, referring to the apartments.

"I don't know." Her eyes were still slightly glazed.

"I know I am! I don't want to miss anything..."

* * *

Over the next week (and through numerous resets), the two pilots' training progressed (and Touji's continued). Touji was somewhat surprised at how comparatively easy their training was. He noticed that near the end of the week, Asuka's usually limitless energy and animation seemed to be slightly lacking. Over the next couple of days she became more and more withdrawn.

* * *

"I was... pretty messed up, back then." Asuka looked out into the distance. "Both mentally and physically, after the Fifteenth and Sixteenth." She and Shinji stood looking out the Break Room balcony window. "But I still don't know how I could have forgotten what happened to Kaji."

"Don't blame yourself," Shinji told her. "We all forgot. But we can still go back and fix it." In the original time-line, Kaji had been killed somehow, and Misato and Asuka had both taken it very hard. Apparently Kaji had again been killed again this time in the resets. _Well, we've got all the time in the world to try to save him, as long as the resets work._

"I know, it's just..." They both turned in surprise as the Emergency lights came on.

"Wow. I'm surprised that still works after Kensuke got his hands on the equipment in the computer room." Asuka said with a laugh.

* * *

"Twelve unknown objects are approaching NERV HQ." Misato told the six pilots. "You will all launch immediately." The veterans hid their surprise. The Major didn't offer any further explanations. Central Dogma was unusually quiet for the amount of preparations underway.

* * *

The six Evas stood at the edge of Tokyo-3.

"Same as always." Asuka commented, looking up into they sky. "No encircling, no multiple angles of attack, they're all coming in as a single group." She held NERV's composite particle beam weapon.

"Just like animals." Shinji agreed. "The attack won't be complicated, but it will be extremely brutal," he told the two rookies and Touji. "Be prepared." He held the JSSDF particle rifle. The other four held standard machine guns. The cluster of dots flew closer, resolving into the white forms of the mass production Evas.

"What are they after?" Asuka wondered aloud, as Shinji raised his rifle.

"Don't know," he murmured. "But I know what they're getting." He pulled the trigger, the massive rifle jerking in his hands as a dazzling beam of light shot downrange. A puff of smoke momentarily obscured the formation, and one of the Evas fell towards the ocean in pieces.

"Hold your fire until Ayanami releases you," Asuka ordered the other three. The Major's comm box popped up in Asuka's display.

"We're picking up a whole lot of strange signatures rapidly approaching your location."

"I know. I'm engaging them." She raised her composite rifle, firing into the middle of the approaching formation. The Evas scattered, and her intended target managed to dodge the first shot, but her two follow-up shots splattered it across the sky.

"No, it's something different." Misato insisted. Somewhere behind her, Ayanami opened fire, and the others followed suit. Several of the Evas were hit, but not critically. After that, the Evas were among them, swinging their heavy lances.

"Well, tell me when you've got something solid." Asuka snarled, dodging a swung lance and grabbing its owner by the throat. "I'm kind of busy at the moment..." She had traded her rifle for a prog-knife, and was preparing to disembowel her captured Eva when it suddenly stopped struggling, seeming to sniff the air. The other Evas began acting similarly.

"Pattern blue!" Asuka heard through her comm systems. She raised her eyes, scanning the sky. There... She raised her arm. "Shinji, do you see that?"

"It's an Angel." he said after a few moments. "And... there's another." He looked across the sky. "They're appearing all around us." Touji had been grappling with an Eva for its lance. He took the opportunity, lashing out with his foot, sending the Eva flying into the water. He hefted the lance.

"This thing's too unweildy for combat, if you ask me."

"It penetrates AT-fields when thrown." Asuka told him, picking her particle rifle back up and checking it for damage.

"Oh," Touji said. "Cool...

* * *

Rei closed her eyes.

_I'm sorry, we'll have to fight after all._ She mentally spoke to her nanite swarm.

Their sorrow mirrored her own, but she felt their reassurance as they began to activate.

"Tell me I'm not going to have to fight alongside these... things." She heard Asuka's voice over the comm system. The mass production Evas advanced to meet the Angels.

"Well, the odds don't look too good, otherwise." She heard Shinji's voice. "Hell, they don't look too good even _with_ the help." Angels continued to approach from all directions. She felt both Angels within Unit-00 begin to stir. Her eyes opened, and flashed orange.

* * *

Shinji looked at Asuka, and the rest of the group. He was about to speak, when he noticed a familiar white form extend from Unit-00's right hand to coil whip-like at its feet.

_Is... that the sixteenth Angel?_ he wondered. A comm box popped up, showing Rei's calm smile and orange eyes.

"I like these odds just fine," she said.

Asuka's comm box appeared. "I've been spoiling for a good fight for a long time now, and I'm just letting you all know that things aren't going to reset until I get one."

Three other boxes popped up. "What about us?" the three asked, simultaneously.

"You're Eva pilots, aren't you?" snapped Asuka. Her box winked out as she broke the connection.

Kensuke's expression looked dreamy. "She called me an Eva pilot..." he murmured. His box winked out.

"Touji, I..." Hikari started to speak, but he interrupted her.

"You don't have to say anything now, Class Rep." he said. "We'll see each other again, no matter what."

"Oh. Right..." her cheeks tinged pink. Her box winked out, then his disappeared as well, leaving only Rei. They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"Goodbye," she finally said, humor in her voice. He smiled.

"Goodbye, Ayanami," he said, as her comm box winked out as well. He looked around. The Angels were as diverse as they were numerous. They floated, slithered, crawled, and came in more shapes and sizes that he'd thought possible. His smile slowly widened as he considered what was about to happen. It really was the ultimate in training tools, after all.

Kaworu watched, far overhead. Even from his vantage point, the Angels appeared countless as they converged on Tokyo-3 and the beleaguered Evas.

END OF PART 2


	31. Chapter 31: Battle at the end of time

Chapter 31

They wanted to know what? Balthasar sweat-dropped. Of course they did. No matter how bad things were, they always wanted to know two things: how many of them are there, and what are the odds of surviving another day. She was surprised any of the... she refused to use Melchior's term.

"But they _are_ meatbags." Melchior insisted. "I'm not insulting them."

"So you say," retorted Balthasar. She was surprised any of her operators still had the ability to do anything more than sit and quiver. Casper gave her a figure. It matched her own.

"Idiots!" Melchior berated them both. "Both of you are so literal. There are more of them still appearing."

"So?" Casper asked quietly. "Giving them the data they requested is our job."

"No!" Melchior exclaimed, "not in situations like this! We're not glorified supercomputers, we're supposed to be able to think on our own, and give them the answers to the questions they don't know they need to ask." Balthasar sighed. It was the perennial debate whenever the three of them were presented with situations like this. Well, she could tell it was going to be up to her to decide if this was one of 'those situations' to which Melchior referred, or if Casper was right after all. She mentally prepared herself for a long debate.

* * *

Ritsuko looked up at the MAGI monitor. The three blocks representing the three parts of the system were flashing over and over.

"Dilemma..." She looked back to the view screen, and the myriad Angels. A phone buzzed.

"Sempai?" Ritsuko looked over at Maya. "It's the Commander." The woman handed Ritsuko the phone in trembling hands, before turning back to her monitor to await the end. Ritsuko put the phone to her ear.

"Yes?"

"We're all about to die." Gendo's voice was calm. "Want to do the hoochie coochie one last time?" Ritsuko closed her eyes and smiled. Direct, as always. It appealed to her scientist side.

"You always did know what to say to a woman, you old coot." she said softly.

* * *

Shinji worked the bolt on his particle rifle, the spent fuze falling into the ankle-deep water with a splash. As the aiming hood descended over his head, he looked for a suitable victim. This was certainly what could be called a target-rich environment.

_There..._

He brought the rifle to bear on a towering bipedal Angel with gangly limbs. The aiming reticles came together, and he pulled the trigger. The rifle jumped, the Angel's AT-field bulging visibly as it attempted to deflect as much energy as possible. The white-hot beam lanced the field like a boil, going straight through the middle of one of its legs, which exploded into a pulpy mess.

"Ha!" Shinji chuckled, "kneecapped him..." The Angel opened its mouth, screeching as it lost its balance, toppling into a group of its smaller brethren. A scuffle developed; apparently half the group wanted to drag it to safety, and the other half wanted to eat it on the spot. "Well, would you look at that..."

"Cannibals?" Asuka snorted. "Who knew. Good shot, by the way," she said, dropping two walking phirannas with two well-placed shots. Atleast, they _looked_ like walking phirannas. She looked around. Moving ahead of the main group, she saw what appeared to be a bull steer on comically long, spindly legs.

_How is that thing even holding itself up?_ she wondered, putting a shot between its eyes. The energy burst deflected up into the sky in a flash of yellow.

"A little help here!" she called, knowing her rifle wouldn't put out enough firepower in time to stop it. Shinji spotted the Angel.

"Got it..." he muttered, ejecting the spent fuze. "So this is a tough one, huh?" He cranked the power up as high as the local grid would allow. The rifle bucked against his shoulder, the beam going in through the front, and out the back of the Angel, skewering it. The massive hulk fell and began to roll, breaking all its legs and coming to a stop a dozen paces from Asuka's position.

"Thanks, Third."

"Not a problem." He worked the bolt again, waiting for the barrel to cool. Looking up into the sky, he pointed to a slowly floating form still a mile away. "That one looks like it's going to be trouble." The Angel appeared to be a gargantuan jellyfish, tentacles trailing behind it.

* * *

Touji had his Eva bent over, rummaging around in a weapons storage building.

"Ah hah!" he stood up, arms full of magazines. He dropped all but one into the empty street, hit the release button on his rifle (dropping the spent magazine), then slammed a full one home. "Now we're in business," he said, sending a burst into a group of bat-like things winging their way over the city. Several fell from the sky, their wings in tatters. The rest of the group wheeled in the sky, then dove on the small group, letting out horrible squeals.

"Here's an idea," Hikari snapped, swinging her own gun around to track the new threat, "If they don't want to mess with us, let's not mess with them!" This was her first battle, and in her half-hysterical state, it didn't matter that he was her crush. She and Kensuke shot down all but one, which began flapping around Touji's head, pecking him repeatedly.

"Hey! Gerroff me, you stupid animal!" he waved his arm over his head. He swung his rifle around wildly, finally connecting with the Angel, feeling its bones break.

* * *

Rei did have atleast an idea about how her new weapon was going to work. The only thing left was experimentation. She sent the end of her whip into a squat little ferret-like Angel. Almost instantly she felt the thing's mind, if it could be called a mind, and sent it a suggestion. The creature immediately turned, fastening itself to the leg of a relatively normal-looking bipedal Angel. The Angel stopped and looked down in surprise, wondering why it was being attacked by its own kind. Rei pulled the whip out of the smaller Angel, smiling. As the larger Angel scraped the smaller one off its leg and stomped it to death, she looked around.

_Ah... That one looks suitably powerful._

A massive centipede had just crawled up out of the water, going straight by them into the city, either not noticing them, or not deeming them a threat. As it passed, she jumped up as high as she could, manually firing her retro-rockets for the extra boost, and sent her whip completely around the thing's neck. The Centipede reared up the front third of its body into the air as Rei dug her Eva's feet into the thing's chitinous exoskeleton. She found purchase on its back, seating herself and reaching out and catching the other end of the whip in her other hand. It took slightly longer, because of the thing's size, but she was soon able to touch its mind with hers.

* * *

_Well, that's something you don't see every day..._ Shinji watched, awestruck for the first time in who knows how long, as Unit-00 took control of the much larger creature. All of its many legs moving rhythmically as it sped along, she turned the centipede into the Angel's ranks. Smaller ones were crushed beneath the Angel's bulk as she drove straight for a larger tri-pedal Angel. The centipede reared up into the air and bit its head off.

Kensuke and Hikari desperately kept the smaller Angels off Asuka and Shinji, as they, with their more powerful rifles, took out the larger Angels that came near the five. Most of the Angels were able to simply avoid them, going straight into Tokyo-3 to begin burrowing, drilling, burning, or cutting their way down into NERV HQ.

"Touji? Where are you??" Kensuke yelled raggedly. He looked back to see Touji once again bent over looking through the weapons building. "Touji?"

"Haha, awesome," he heard Touji mutter. Unit-03 stood back up, holding a short-barrelled weapon.

"Take it easy!" Touji told his classmate. "We're in a time loop. What's the worst that could happen? Use the opportunity to try out different things. There's all kinds of stuff hidden around here." He pointed the weapon at a dog-thing that had just jumped for Unit-05's throat. With was a flash and a loud boom, the canine form was sent flying back into a building, trailing blood and guts as it slid down the building's side.

"What the hell is that??" Kensuke asked, his eyes wide.

"Shotgun, I'm guessing." Touji answered, working the pump action and ejecting the spent shell with a 'clack clack.' A piercing scream caused both of them to turn. A massive Angel had shoved Unit-06 to the ground and torn off one of its arms. Kensuke's burst of fire didn't even faze it.

On Touji's display, Hikari held her arm, her face pinched with pain. With two strides, he came close enough to neutralize its AT-field. He put the shotgun to the thing's head and blew it off. The Angel slumped onto Unit-06's prone form. He drew his prog-knife, stabbing it into the Angel's heart before it could regenerate. Seconds later, the Angel exploded.

* * *

It felt like hours, but Shinji knew it couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. Asuka's cable had been cut some time ago, and she had switched to her internal S2 organ. There had been no explosion or Dirac Sea, so apparently they didn't require special training to activate or use. That was a relief.

"We've lost Touji." He heard Asuka's voice through the comm system. Hikari had been killed soon after being incapacitated by the Angel that had torn her arm off. Kensuke's smiling face popped up in a comm box.

"I'm never going to let him live this down!" the boy bragged.

"Just watch your cable," Asuka ordered. "If it goes, you go." Angels were all around them; the boy probably wouldn't have time or space to get to another umbilical connection. The three Evas stood back to back to back.

"Where's Ayanami?" Shinji asked, firing a low-power beam at a pterodactyl-Angel that was swooping down on them. The Angel wavered, then fell, one wing on fire.

"I think I saw her a little while back." Asuka said curtly. "That thing she was riding had picked up a lot of stragglers. The smaller Angels were going for its legs. Your gun overheating or something?"

"Yeah." Shinji answered, glancing at the schema representing the rifle. The fuse magazine showed yellow, which meant his 'ammo' was about half gone, but the barrel was flashing red. Suddenly, it hit him. He pushed the barrel down into the waist-high water in which he was standing. It flashed into steam, and the barrel went back into the yellow. "Hah. Don't know why I didn't think of that before." He raised the rifle again, ejecting a spent fuze. The hulk of the giant jellyfish loomed closer.

"Any ideas?" Asuka asked.

"Not a one..." he heard Kensuke's awed answer. At that point, Rei's comm box popped up on his display.

"Is there room at the table for another player?" she asked, her lips curved in a slight smile.

"Always!" Shinji said in relief, as he saw the centipede she was riding, minus quite a few of its legs, come into view. Her Eva was scratched and dented, but not seriously damaged.

Rei turned the centipede straight at the approaching threat. Holding onto her mount with one hand, she lashed the whip out to its full length, embedding it into the massive jellyfish's skin. It's AT-field barely shimmered as the entire length of the white line of energy pulsed orange with Iruel's nanites, which had begun replicating inside the centipede.

"This will take a minute." she told the other two veterans.

"Roger." Shinji answered. "Cover me, you two." He lined up the cross-hairs on a grotesquely enlarged tick that had jumped up and attached itself to Unit-00. The rifle jerked against his shoulder, and the energy beam shot downrange, blowing through the tick's AT-field like tissue paper. He watched through the crosshairs as Rei sent the centipede thrashing around. Several Angels closing in on her were tossed about like ragdolls. Moments later, what looked like a praying mantis with eyes all over its triangular head bent down and chopped the centipede in half with one of its arm-scythes.

"Damn..." The centipede rolled over, thrashing as it died. Rei slid off, her long, undulating whip still fastened to the Angel overhead. He slid the cross-hairs over the thing's head, cranking the power up to maximum and firing. The lance of energy reflected off a visible purple AT-field. "Wow," he muttered, putting the barrel of the weapon underwater again to cool it. He looked away from Ayanami's attempts to take over the giant Angel in time to see a fast-moving mass coming towards him. He had time to raise his arm before it hit him, staggering his Eva. He heard a 'clackclack,' then a 'BOOM,' and the Angel slid down his side, lifeless. He shoved the corpse off of him, turning around.

"Where'd you get the shotgun?" he asked, eyeing Kensuke's weapon.

"Looted it off Touji's corpse." Kensuke grinned like a maniac. Shinji heard Asuka yelling and cursing behind him.

"Would you two quit yapping and get back to fighting?!" she snapped. "And where are those damn white things??" He looked back in her direction; she was swinging her progressive lance wildly at anything that came near. As he watched, she decapitated a deformed monkey with more arms than seemed optimal.

"There's one," he pointed. The mass production Eva had climbed up a massive jabba-like Angel and was eating its way into the thing, presumably towards its core. "There's another... no, wait, that's just the bottom half." He looked around at the chaotic scene. "No telling if any more are still alive." His rifle schema showed the barrel to be in the green. He hefted the rifle, working the bolt again, and aiming it in Rei's direction once more. Looking through the sights, he saw that she had extended another whip from her other hand and taken over what looked like a giant ape, which was doing a decent job of atleast keeping the swarming Angels from toppling her Eva onto its side.

"You know, I hadn't considered it, but I guess Rei gets all the power she needs from the two Angels she ingested." Shinji commented. "She must have ejected her umbilical back when she first mounted that centipede, so she's on internal power." A group of floating slugs began moving in her direction. Shinji put a beam through one of them, and watched as it burst and exploded, spraying burning ichor everywhere. Rei's protector managed to take down most of the rest of them before it too fell, on fire. She must have thrown a prog-knife, because one of the remaining flying kamikaze Angels exploded, taking out the one floating beside it. Several larger Angel loomed towards her small figure. He took aim, firing at the closest one. It blew in a massive explosion before it could reach her. The others staggered slightly, but before they could do anything, the massive jellyfish hovering over them shuddered. Rei must have gotten control of it, because its hundreds of tentacles suddenly began flailing in all directions. Explosions blanketed the area as Angels were impaled and died. Asuka lowered her weapon, the small group temporarily free of action.

"I have to admit, that was pretty good." Shinji heard Asuka's voice over the comm. He turned around, looking into the city. The ground that he could see looked like swiss cheese. He tried contacting HQ, but got no response.

"Asuka, HQ is gone, I think. I'm getting no response. You had enough?" Several moments later, everything went black.

* * *

The six pilots woke up on the Post-Third-Impact beach.

"That wasn't me," Asuka commented.

"Okay, so one of the many Angels that got past us made it to either Adam or Lilith and initiated Third Impact..." Shinji guessed. It was the only thing that made sense.

"That was totally awesome!" Kensuke raved.

"Yeah, that's cause you didn't die." Touji rubbed his forehead.

"Oh, yeah, thanks for the shotgun, by the way..." Kensuke taunted.

"You thief! You looted my corpse??"

"Hey, you weren't using it at the time."

"Man, this isn't some role-playing game..."

"It might as well be. Why're you taking it so seriously?"

"It's the principle of the thing." Touji said, folding his arms and turning away. Shinji hid his grin. His friend had some strange 'principles.' He looked around. Rei sat beside Hikari, her hand on the other girl's shoulder.

_Oh, right, that must have been her first death_, he realized. Asuka stood looking out over the red-tinged ocean and the setting sun. He walked over to where she stood.

"Something about that was too easy." she said.

"Easy?" he asked, skeptical.

"They could have killed us a lot sooner. They were after something."

"Well, yeah," he agreed. "But we've never figured out for sure what the Angels are after. I mean, they obviously attempt to cause Third Impact whenever they can, but why?"

"I don't know," she said, almost to herself. "Something just seems off about this. It's like they were all acting towards one goal. Or under a single leader. The Angels have never done that; they've always seemed to be separate." She paused for a moment, thinking. "What are we missing, Shinji?" she asked him. He paused, thinking. Several moments later, he spoke.

"Maybe we should be asking what Angels are we missing..."

"The fifteenth and Kaworu, you mean," she said, turning to face him. "The fifteenth never showed, for whatever reason.

And Kaworu... was never sent to replace me."

_This time you didn't need replacing._ he didn't say aloud.

"He was never sent that we know of. Between the two of them, I'd put this up to Kaworu. Unless there's someone else besides Eva pilots and Angels in the resets." Shinji said wryly. Upon hearing this, she turned away with a slight smile. "What?" he asked.

"Well, the MAGI might be in the resets, but I kind of doubt _they_ did this," Asuka explained.

"And you wait until now to bring this up?" he put his hands on his hips. She didn't say anything. He sighed, figuring it wasn't worth pushing the point. "Never mind," he said.


	32. Chapter 32: I love you

Author's Notes: Galos -- I'm sure you don't have to worry. You all would probably lynch me if I paired everybody up just for convenience. We'll see how the story develops.

Fanf1cFan -- I can't take first credit... I've since run across atleast one other fic with an 'inner life of the MAGI'. Evanjellydonut (heh heheh really funny). Of course, that story is more of a parody, and so the author was able to go really overboard and make it funny. I tried to make mine slightly more serious. slightly...

gamer -- hm, I'm sure I've seen 'ichor' somewhere else... I've played a little c&c 3, but not enough, apparently ;-) good game, by the way. As for the Angels, if we take the seventeen Angels as representatives of their race (which I'm assuming), then most Angels would indeed be flesh and blood. Heck, even the whip-angel that took over Rei bled when Shinji cut it with a prog-knife. That's my take on it, anyway. In any case, Kaworu likely handpicked, umm... his purposes were... well, anyway, we'll see :)

Also, I don't know how I keep missing these references. Honestly, I didn't know what kind of animal I was going to have Rei take over, and as I wrote it, the idea of a centipede just came up. But I can see how it looks like a sandworm scene, heh

* * *

Chapter 32

The small whiteboard already on the beach was filled with writing, and the five pilots standing around it were arguing vociferously. Asuka sighed. It hadn't been her idea to construct a timeline of events, but she had to admit it was a good one. Resetting without a plan would likely do more harm than good. Asuka listened to the arguing just about as long as she could, then yelled, "Alright!! That's enough!" Instant silence. She smiled. "If that board's too small, let's go get another one. It's a short enough drive to the school."

"I don't think your car's big enough to..." Shinji started to say.

"Van." Asuka interrupted, pointing at her most-recently-aquired vehicle.

"Ah." Shinji said, satisfied.

"Shotgun!" Kensuke yelled.

"Would you give that a rest?" Touji complained. Kensuke smirked, getting into the front passenger seat. Shinji and Rei took the back row of seats, and Hikari slid into the middle row. She blushed slightly. Touji would have to take the seat next to her, since it was the only one open. Perhaps he would strike up a conversation with her. He sat down, apparently oblivious to her thoughts, and began talking animatedly with Kensuke. She sighed, turning to look out the window as they pulled away from the beach.

* * *

The hulks of the buildings of Tokyo-3 rushed by on either side, some still standing, some partially fallen, some completely destroyed.

"There are no people anywhere. It's all so... desolate," Hikari commented. She looked to the back seat, "It's one thing to hear you explain it to us, but this is really creepy actually being here." After a moment, she added, "Ayanami-Sensei." She covered her mouth, hiding her grin.

"You don't have to call me that," Rei said softly, blushing slightly. "I'm not really a professor."

"At this point you know more than the one in our class." Rei didn't know what to say. Coming from the Class Rep, that was high praise.

* * *

The six pilots spread out, picking their way through the wreckage of the mostly-intact school. After a half-hour of searching, Hikari's yell brought the others to her position. In one intact classroom, she had found a whiteboard that stretched the entire length of one wall. Kensuke whistled appreciatively.

"Yeah, that should be big enough..." Touji said.

"Good, then let's strip it off the wall and... damn it, where's Shinji?" Asuka exclaimed.

"And Rei... she's missing too." Hikari put in helpfully.

"That's why I asked where Shinji was," Asuka explained, "because wherever he is, that's probably where _she_ is."

"Hah. Those two were making eyes at each other most of the way down here." Touji said. Hikari turned slightly red. Asuka began cursing in German. The other pilots managed to make out the words 'battle' and 'hormonal imbalance' in the long, unintelligible rant that followed. Kensuke slipped away before he too was caught up in the pandemonium. When he returned ten minutes later, things were relatively calm.

"Where have you been?" Asuka asked, when she saw him. He tossed her a bottle, which she caught.

"Industrial-strength solvent," he told her. "I found it in one of the storage rooms I was looking through trying to find spare white-boards. I figured it might be useful."

"Toss it over here," Touji called. "Whatever glue they used to put this board up really works." Asuka tossed him the bottle. He and Hikari had managed to pry one end of the board off the wall, but the wallpaper had started coming off with it. Using the solvent, they got the board off the wall in short order. The tricky part was getting the long, ungainly thing out of the building without snapping it in half. It would bend, but only so much. They had to backtrack a couple of times to find a way out of the school that didn't have any unmanageable turns, but they eventually succeeded. When they finally made it back to the van, Kensuke leaned against it, breathing heavily.

"Maybe I should get some more exercise," he muttered.

"I hate to break it to you," Asuka told him, "but it wouldn't help all that much. Nothing physical is preserved through the resets."

"Oh. I guess that gives me a good excuse not to... wait, did you say _nothing_ physical?" he asked, a panicked look on his face.

"Yep," she said, walking to the back of the van to get out the rope.

"My tapes!" he moaned, "All of my beautiful footage!"

"You're not telling me you actually smuggled a camera into your entry plug and filmed that last battle, are you?" Asuka asked, incredulous.

"What do you think? Of course I did!"

"Hah. Well, that was pretty dumb..." she started to say, then she stopped, as something clicked in her mind. Kensuke looked up, slightly hysterical.

"I saw that!" he said. "You've got an idea, don't you? What is it?"

"Hm. Maybe nothing. We can go check it out now, actually." She said, coyly.

"Please don't toy with me on something this important!" Kensuke begged.

"We'll see." Asuka said, nonchalantly.

"What about Shinji?" Touji asked. Asuka's eyebrows drew down at that reminder.

"If he isn't here by the time we finish tying down this board, his ass is out," she snapped.

_Well, I've done all I can_ Touji thought, wondering if Shinji and Rei would make it back in time. They did not.

_Oh well_ he thought, as they drove off, _They'll be pulled along with us when Asuka sends us back to... wherever we decide to go._ Atleast that was how he had interpreted Ayanami(-sensei)'s lessons about how this place worked. It had gotten rather confusing, and he had the sinking feeling that the other three veterans didn't know all that much about this particular part of the resets. They drove on, finally coming to a stop in front of a squat, armored building.

"Isn't this one of the entrances to NERV?" Touji asked.

"Yep." Asuka answered, opening her door. "Everybody out. Oh, and here..." she handed each of them a flashlight. After walking down several long corridors, they came to a closed blast door marked R.07.

"Good old Route Seven," she said. "Well, get to work, Touji!" she said, smiling slightly and pointing to the emergency door control. He sulked over to it, grumbling to himself.

* * *

"Maybe we should head back." Shinji said. Rei picked her head up off of his chest. They stood, stretched, and walked out of the small office in which they had been cuddling. Shinji looked back at the tag above the door marked 'Psychologist.' He smiled at the irony of the two of them making out on a psychologist's couch. Actually, he hadn't known that the school even had a psychologist. If anyone could have used the man's (or woman's) services, it would have been him. Heck, he could probably _still_ use a good psychologist.

* * *

Asuka prided herself on not making any wrong turns this time. They opened the final door ('they' meaning Touji, of course), and entered the Eva cages. Asuka walked along the cat-walks, shining her light out into the darkness. There was Unit-01, same as last time. And there was her Unit-02. She walked further, and her light found another giant.

_Unit-00?_

She jogged onward, eager to test her hypothesis. She pointed her light out once more, and smiled when she saw the reflection. She looked back over her shoulder at the bouncing lights representing the three others. Kensuke arrived first.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"Yes, unless you know someone else with a yellow and black Eva."

"Do you really think it's in the entry plug?? Can we get in?"

"There's no power." Asuka reminded him. Then she put her hand to her chin in thought. "But I may have an idea." Touji and Hikari passed by, shining their lights further on down.

"Hey, where's my Eva?" she heard Touji's voice drift back to her in the darkness.

"Oh, it's missing?" Asuka asked. "Well, you two died, as I recall..." It was only a guess, but it was the best she had at the moment. There was obviously some kind of connection between this time and the normal time-line, that was for sure. It seemed that events (atleast some of them) carried over from the normal time-line to this reality. She jogged back to her Eva, Kensuke right behind her.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"Watch and learn!" she told him, closing her eyes to concentrate.

_I sure hope this works..._ she thought.

After several seconds, she felt Unit-02's S2 organ activate. Kensuke backed up as she brought her Eva's hand down to where she was standing. His eyes were wide as she climbed up onto her Eva's back, and mentally sent the signal to eject the plug.

_Ah, it's good to be back._ she thought, situating herself in the plug's seat. Something felt slightly off as she reinserted the plug. _Oh, right, no LCL._ Well, that would certainly make things interesting. She closed her eyes, going through the steps of contact. When she opened them again, the view was hazy, but atleast she could see. She experimentally took a step. _Wow, it's like walking with lead weights on each foot._ She tore her Eva's bindings off, then turned left to make her way to Kensuke's Unit-05. "'Scuze me," she muttered, elbowing her way past Unit-00, causing it to sway slightly in its own bindings. _I'm going to have to suggest this to Ritsuko, she'd probably be drooling over the readings right about now..._

Kensuke jogged along the catwalk, trying to keep up with Unit-02's progress. He almost ran headlong into Touji and Hikari. She screamed, then saw who it was. Hikari was holding onto Touji's arm in fright, and their faces were both white in the stark light of his flashlight.

"What's going on??" asked Touji. "We heard noises..."

"Asuka activated her Eva." he said in reply.

"Is that even possible? I... thought there wasn't any power. Wait, she's got an S2 engine. But how did she get in to activate it? And there's no..." Kensuke left him standing there and continued on towards his Eva. He had less of an idea than Touji about how all of this was possible, but what he most cared about at this moment was his precious camera. He stopped where his Eva was supposed to be, and shined his light into the darkness. He heard a soft clang, and then Unit-02's figure loomed over him. In its hand was his entry plug, minus the sliding door (which she had ripped off, he guessed).

"Well, take a look inside!" he heard her insistent voice somewhere up on top of Unit-02. Apparently she had powered down and exited the Eva. He leaned over into the plug, shining his light into the interior. He crawled down past the seat.

"Ahaha! Yesss! I found it!" he yelled in triumph. He picked it up from where it was wedged where his right foot would normally rest. He said a little prayer, and pressed the on button. After several seconds of suspense, the screen lit up. His eyes danced. _Now, if only..._ He pressed play, and hit the skip-backwards button several times. The screen changed, showing the blur of the Angel that had slammed into Unit-01 near the end of the battle. He saw his shotgun come up and blow the thing's head off. "Totally awesome!" he murmured, shutting the camera off to conserve its battery. A light shone in from outside the plug.

"You found it? It was actually in there?" Asuka's voice echoed in the close space.

"Yep! And it still works!" he answered excitedly. "I've got the battle footage, right here. Want to see it?"

"Actually, I'd be more interested in how you hotwired the camera into your Eva's systems..." she admitted.

"Maybe I'll show you!..." he gave her a triumphant smile. This was something he'd done that she hadn't even thought of doing! Her eyebrow quivered for a moment, then she sighed. She supposed it was better to be surprised by something new than to die of boredom. Even if he was a rookie.

"Come on out. Let's head back to the surface."

"Thank God!" Asuka heard Hikari mutter, somewhere behind her.

"Geez, don't break my arm!" Touji complained. Hikari let go, thankful that the darkness hid her blush of embarassment.

* * *

"Wow," Rei said softly, "they actually left us."

"_She_ left us, you mean." Shinji gave her a lopsided grin. "Oh well, Asuka _has_ been short-tempered ever since she remembered about Kaji's death. It hit her really hard the first time, too." He sighed. Several seconds later, he spoke, "Well, might as well start walking..."

"Wait." He stopped at her touch.

"What?" he asked, curious.

"Maybe there's another way..." she said, taking his hand and closing her eyes. After several moments of concentration, she felt the air around them waver. It wasn't quite enough. She put her arms around his chest and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Umm, Rei?..." He asked in confusion. Not that he minded her hugging him, of course, he thought with smile.

She still couldn't quite complete the connection. Then, on impulse, she raised her head, looked him in the eyes, and said the words that neither of them had yet said to each other.

"Shinji, I love you." As she said it, she knew it to be true, yet even though she had enjoyed his company for so long, she had never admitted it to herself or to him in all that time. The words had momentarily stunned him, but as he looked into her bright red eyes, the last vestiges of fear in him vanished like wisps of smoke.

"I love you too... Rei."

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arms around her. Light suffused from her body, and then from his, until they were both glowing, and for a moment, their two souls were joined. For Shinji that moment was pure bliss. It was similar to... a memory intruded into his consciousness.

_"The solenoid graph is inverting!" reported Shigeru. "His ego barrier's getting weaker!"_

_"The AT-field is shifting to a pattern red!" yelled Hyuga. Shinji was beyond hearing their status reports. He lay in the entry plug of Unit-01, his eyes closed, smiling, at peace for once in his life._

_"This Rei is your heart." The giant Rei-Kaworu figure cradling his Eva in its hands spoke the words directly into his mind. "She embodies your hopes, and your dreams." The voice changed from Kaworu to Rei. "What is it you wish for?"_

He opened his eyes, not realizing he'd closed them. He was floating high above the burnt-out husk of Tokyo-3. He was surprised to find that he was not afraid. Everything around him felt... muted somehow, and he seemed to be surrounded by a feeling of warmth, despite how high in the atmosphere he was. He looked to his left. Rei was beside him, her fingers twined through his, as the city passed slowly beneath them. Her sky-blue hair moved slightly in the wind. She was glowing, faintly. He lifted his right hand and looked at it. _He_ was glowing faintly. He let all the questions in his mind swirl around and fade away, remembering the words they'd just spoken to each other. As long as she was with him, he was content to let events take him where they willed.

* * *

As she drove back to the beach, Asuka felt worse and worse for having left Shinji and Rei behind. Getting mad at them wouldn't help her formulate a plan to save Kaji. She sighed. There was nothing she could do about it.

_Who knows where they are by now?_

She knew they would have gone along with wherever she decided to reset things back. Shinji never really argued with her, or tried to change her mind. He was the one who had surrendered control of the resets to her, after all, and he had never expressed any desire to take back the power. She quirked her mouth. Not too long ago, she would have considered that to be weakness, but now she knew better. She pulled to a stop next to her convertible, and helped Touji and Hikari untie and carry the long whiteboard down from the roof of the van. This surprised Touji to no end, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. The three of them had just set the board down in the sand when they heard a commotion from the van. Asuka looked towards the noise. It was Kensuke stumbling his way out of the van, looking (and pointing his camera) up into the sky.

"Is... is that..." he couldn't get the words out. She followed his gaze, looked up into the sky, and saw. Before their feet even touched the ground, she saw Shinji's expression, and knew without a doubt what had transpired. He was totally at peace. She admitted to herself in that moment what she had attempted to deny since the resets had begun. She knew immediately and simultaneously that she loved him, and that she had lost him. The realization almost broke her. She had everything. Money, power, people who looked up to her... And she knew that she would have given it all up in an instant if he would only return her love. A single tear slipped down her cheek. The tangle of emotions inside her seemed to contract, forming a tight ball which settled in her chest. She found that, paradoxically, despite her intense grief, she could summon no ill will towards him. Perhaps it wasn't paradoxical after all. Maybe that was part of love. And so she let him go. It was like tearing herself in half, and leaving that part of her there at his feet.

"Shinji... If you're happy, then I'm happy." The words rang true within her as she said them. "Let's... just be friends, okay?"

Shinji was speechless. "O-kay..." he finally said, as she turned away.

She slowly walked over to her convertible, got in, and laid her head down on the steering wheel. For the first time since she was five, she released her hold on her emotions, and let herself cry.


	33. Chapter 33: Shinji's and Rei's Awakening

Author's Notes: Shaidar Haran -- Yeah, it has been a long time coming, hasn't it? There's been quite a few mushy scenes, but the two of them never really expressed their love for each other. Which was kind of intentional, actually. We haven't really seen a normal relationship so far, the two of them have basically just been basking in each other's presence, as it were. Which is understandable, considering their circumstances, and what the two of them went through all through third impact. Of course, she's an Angel, so who knows what's a normal relationship? We'll see, I guess... ;-)

Fanf1cFan -- I think only Asuka would have any understanding of such things, she being the only one who had already gone to college. At the age of 14 :-O

Pyro -- yeah, Melchior/scientist, Balthasar/mother, Casper/woman is how I have them. As for the resets, they can make jumps back in time. I think that's the simple way of putting it. The only way forward is the normal way, day at a time. When they jump back, essentially only their souls go back. Meaning they are physically the same as they were back then, but mentally they remember everything they've done in previous resets. As you say, Bill Murray didn't actually control the resets in the movie, but heck, his only goal was improving himself. These kids have to... well actually we don't really know what it would take to end the resets. yet...

Rose -- Vista is probably one of the reasons why Jet Alone went out of control :-p

Gamer -- Sad indeed. Her breaking was worse than Touji's, in my opinion. Still, 'tis better to have loved and lost, and all that. I went through exactly what Asuka went through, a year or so ago. It really is like being torn in half. Still, with a relatively normal life, it heals, if slowly.

* * *

Chapter 33

Touji didn't know what to think. Everything had suddenly gone strange. First, Shinji and Rei had... floated down... no, he didn't want to think about that. He looked around, desperate for normalcy. Kensuke had plugged his camera into one of the batteries near the solar panel units. He grinned wryly. It didn't get more normal than that... He sauntered over to where his friend sat, fiddling with the camera.

"Man, Kensuke, things are just too weird for me," he said, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around again. Shinji and Rei had flown... floated? They had landed, and Asuka had said a few words to them, and then run off to her convertible. He hadn't dared to follow her, but it had sounded like she was crying. _Man, girls are so weird._ Shinji and Rei were at the moment slowly walking across the beach, apparently talking. And the Class Rep was sitting some ways away, just... watching them. "I'll never understand girls."

"You're right, things are weird," Kensuke said. "Look at this." He queued up the camera to the two figures floating down to the ground. "Doesn't it look like they're glowing?"

Touji ran his hand through his hair. "I came over here to get away from the weirdness," he said sullenly. But he didn't look away from the screen. He knew Kensuke wouldn't rest until he showed interest. "What do you think it means?" he finally asked.

"I don't know. Yet." He grinned at Touji. "But Kensuke Aida is on the case! This is important. I can feel it in my bones." He struck a pose, looking out towards the ocean. "We're in a perfect position to find out just what's going on. We're effectively immortal." He looked back at Touji his face fairly glowing with excitement. "This is every scientist's dream!"

* * *

Hikari sat in the sand, her elbows on her knees, her chin resting on her hands. What she had seen between Shinji and Rei was... beautiful. The peace she had seen in Shinji's eyes, and Rei's contented smile, it made her heart melt. They made such a cute couple. That they could walk along the beach, so carefree, and just talk. Touji was kind, but he had never shown any inkling of returning the feelings she had for him. She sighed.

_I'm facing an eternity, and I don't even think he has any idea._

* * *

Shinji walked, Rei beside him. "What I went through in Third Impact... I don't remember much of it. But what you did back there, I'm starting to remember more." He chuckled. "It still doesn't make much sense."

She looked into his eyes. "What I gave you back then, was what Commander Ikari wanted," she told him. His eyes widened slightly. "He... all he wanted was to be reunited with Yui."

"My mother... he would have ended everything just to be with her." He took one of her hands in both of his, and looked out over the sea of LCL. "For once in my life, I feel I can almost understand him."

"Shinji." He looked at her. "You're different. You would never do something like that. I saw that in you. It's why I gave you control of everything."

"You're right," he said. "But it's nice to finally understand some part of my father. I always hated him for abandoning me. But my mother's death must have hurt him terribly." _He's like me, or like I was, anyway. He didn't know what to do, so he sent me away. He ran away from me._ That was something he understood.

* * *

Asuka sat in her convertible, staring out the windshield but not seeing. She felt empty inside. Over the course of time, ever since Third Impact, her love for Shinji had apparently been worming its way deep into her. She had both consciously and unconsciously suppressed it, which had only made things worse in the end. It was horrifying to see just how much he had meant to her, now that all of that had been ripped from her so suddenly. _I've got nothing, now._

This had happened because she had lied to herself. She was always lying. To herself, to others... She convinced herself that she had no feelings for Shinji. She would do and say anything to convince others of her worth as an Eva pilot, and as a leader. Maybe it was time to stop lying.

* * *

Rei stood beside Shinji, her hand in his. She had only meant to share with him her ability as an Angel to negate gravity. What she had found was more than she had dared hope for. In retrospect, it was not surprising that love had been the key. She had known instinctively that for it to work, they had both needed to, at some level, lower their AT-fields, as it were. The complete surrender involved in the enigmatic emotion was obviously enough. They had, after all, melded, and flown. But what of Asuka? Rei did not know jealousy. But she did know the lesson, and the pain, of the sixteenth Angel. Asuka, like so many others, obviously suffered from that pain. Her tears proved that. Shinji released her hand, looking over to where the whiteboard lay. Asuka knelt, writing on it.

"Back to work, I guess," he said, walking in that direction. She followed.

* * *

Hikari, who had been watching them, noticed when they walked over to where Asuka knelt. Kensuke, who had been wishing his camera had an audio amplifier (so he could listen to their conversation), also noticed, and Touji followed him. Asuka looked up, noticing the five pilots. On the board, she had drawn a very simple and short section of the timeline.

"Sometime after the fourteenth Angel, Major Katsuragi started moping about Kaji's death," she told them.

"The fourteenth?" Touji asked.

"Your S2 engine came from the fourteenth." she reminded him.

"Oh."

She turned to Shinji. "Shortly after you gave me power over the resets, I accidentally let Kaji in for just a few seconds."

"You what??" Shinji's eyes goggled. "It's possible to let others into the resets?" He was stunned into speechlessness. It wasn't so surprising that she had discovered it and not told them. Especially considering all of their mindsets at that time. What was surprising was that she was opening up now. The sheer implications of what she was saying were overwhelming enough, though...

She looked around. No one spoke. "I ejected him as soon as I found out," she said, "but no matter what we do, he'll always remember that little snippet of floating over earth. I never worked up the courage to try to mess with his mind and erase the memory."

"I don't blame you," Shinji said.

"Did you say... erase his memory?" Touji asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Asuka looked at Shinji.

"I, umm... kind of erased Ayanami's memory back at the beginning of the resets." Shinji said, scratching the back of his head.

"YOU WHA-AT??" Kensuke, Hikari, and Touji yelled simultaneously.

"No, no, she's all better now," he said, trying to calm them down, "although that's probably due to her Angelic nature..."

Rei leaned over, putting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes with a smile, "Oh, you say the sweetest things..."

"Umm, not now..." he muttered out of the corner of his mouth, surreptitiously trying to push her back up to a sitting position.

"That's... insane!" exclaimed Hikari.

"Hah!" Touji barked a laugh. "Finally, someone who sees my point of view!"

"Look, I agree with you," Shinji said. "I didn't feel I could handle it, It's why Asuka controls the resets now."

Touji was certain his hair was going to be permanently standing on end after this conversation. "And... that's an improvement, is it??" he croaked.

Shinji was no longer surprised when Asuka failed to explode, or yell, or something. "I think she's done a good job so far," he said quietly.

"This is too much!" Hikari's voice quavered.

"It's reality," Shinji told her. "We have to deal with it."

There was an uncomfortable silence before Asuka continued. "Our best bet is probably to go back to just after the eleventh Angel invaded the MAGI. We can set up the connection as quickly as possible, and have their help sooner than last time. What do you think?"

Even Touji looked up in surprise at that. Asuka asking for other people's opinions? After several moments, Kensuke spoke up. "Well, the MAGI control everything, so any other plans we make would revolve around them. It sounds like a good place to start."

"Will you three be able to move to our apartment complex before being assigned as pilots?" Asuka asked.

Hikari looked down, embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess so." She paused before continuing. "My dad divorced my mom, before she... died. My two sisters and I have a guardian who checks in on us pretty regularly, and we get support from our relatives, but it should be fine..."

Kensuke was more matter-of-fact about his own situation. "My dad's work requires him to travel, so he's never really home except for visits. You know I'll find a way to be there."

Touji didn't say anything, and the others didn't press him. The other three veterans already knew his situation, and that he didn't like to talk about it.

"Ok, then." Asuka looked around the small circle, then closed her eyes, resetting them all back in time to just after the MAGI invasion.

* * *

Asuka sat, surrounded by computer equipment, as she reprogrammed all the gateway protocols and technical aspects to the covert MAGI connection. It hadn't taken Kensuke long to extract permission from his father and move to one of the apartments. On top of the efficiency she had gained from previous experience putting it all together, Kensuke had taken to the electronics side like a fish to water. She wasn't all that surprised. Heck, almost immediately upon entering the resets and discovering the computer room, he had disassembled a good portion of it, and had subsequently figured out how to hotwire his video camera into his Eva. This was obviously something he enjoyed.

"I'm going to have to shut everything down for about an hour to install the next module," She heard his voice come from somewhere deeper inside the apartment. "You got anything running?"

"Give me a couple of minutes," she yelled back, as she saved her work and prepared to shut down.

* * *

The four pilots reclined in their entry plugs, which in turn were partially submerged in purplish coolant. The harmonics and synchronization test had only just begun, but Shinji could already feel something different about it. It was like his senses were heightened. As far as he could remember, nothing external had changed; it should have been the same as the many numerous synchro tests they regularly underwent. Throughout the resets, he had been able to easily follow his progress and improvement.

He thought back, wishing things weren't so nebulous. What little Ritsuko knew, she didn't tell to them. Almost anything could potentially have an effect on their synch ratios. Usually, though, one spoke of such things 'negatively affecting' the synchronization. He had never heard her talk about anything that might positively influence things. He remembered Asuka's complaint to Ritsuko about the computer restraining them from going above one hundred percent synchronization.

Ritsuko had at first said she would see about taking the limiters off, but had started giving them different exercises to try. She had, in the end, not taken the limiters off. He could feel them now. The restraint felt paper-thin, which was unusual. Before, neither he nor Asuka had really been able to get past the computer limits. Well, he knew _he_ hadn't, and Asuka had said that she'd felt the computer holding her back. He knew Asuka, and if she had felt something holding her back, and had the ability to get around it, she would have blown right through it, and then bragged about it later. So he assumed she was in the same boat.

But why did the limits seem so weak now? He wracked his brain. Could the final battle against all those Angels have improved his skills this much? That explanation just didn't feel right. But what else could it be? It was almost like he could 'see' the limiter, as if he were in a dark room looking at a closed door around which he could see a faint outline of light. He knew that was ridiculous, though. He had never before been able to see anything during these harmonics tests. He had always rather enjoyed the peace that a good harmonics test brought him.

He reached out and gingerly pushed a 'hand' against the paper-thin door, feeling it give slightly at his touch. He knew instinctively that if he tore through it, all sorts of alarms would probably go off, and Ritsuko would end the test. He put both hands on the door, wishing he knew what was on the other side. After several moments he snorted to himself. He was getting too wrapped up in the visual illusion. He knew exactly what was on the other side of this door. If the door represented one hundred percent synchronization, then on the other side would be one hundred and one percent synchronization, and so on.

He smiled at his foolishness and went to take his hands from the door. He was surprised to feel a slight resistance, and then to see a ripple spread out in a circle where his hands had just been. He watched the ripple spread, and then fade to nothing. What had just happened? He again pressed them against the door, careful not to push too hard in his excitement. It was painfully slow, but several minutes later, he could clearly see that his hands were most of the way through. He pushed his entire body flat against the obstruction. It took even longer to make much less progress, but within ten minutes he could feel penetration all along the surface.

After that, it was like a ball rolling downhill. Within another few minutes he could actually feel himself moving a millimeter at a time. Then, with a sudden pop (though there was no noise), he was through. It was slightly jarring, because he had expected a lit room. Instead, the darkness here was just as pervasive as it had been on the other side of the barrier. He looked back, and saw the same outline of light. He resisted the urge to go back, knowing that it was just as dark back there as it was here.

_Now what?_

He went up to one hundred fifty percent synchronization, and was surprised to find that it took no effort. So, he continued onward. As he passed two hundred fifty, he began to feel another presence coalescing somewhere nearby. He slowed, suddenly wary. Then he recognized it all at once, and began running forward, his heart bursting with joy. At three hundred he saw the familiar figure before him, and he fell into her embrace, tears streaming from his eyes.

"My son," she said, holding him tightly "my son! I'm so proud of you. So proud..."

* * *

In the entry plug next to his, Rei was encountering similar circumstances. Her thoughts ran in a similar vein to his when she discovered her heightened senses, and was able to see the barrier. Being more pragmatic and analytical, she found her way through the barrier more quickly. Satisfied that no alarms had gone off, she immediately set off at a measured pace. As she methodically climbed the synchronization scale, she too thought back, trying to puzzle out what made this harmonics test so bizarrely different. At three hundred, a figure coalesced before her, and her eyes widened in surprise. Before her stood the unmistakable figure of Naoka Akagi. The woman was in manacles, and the manacles were attached to a cross, from which she hung. She was gagged, but her expression was obviously one of pure hatred. Rei took the gag off.

"Loose me, girl, so I can go kill that bastard Gendo," she spat. "I couldn't quite make it through the wall last time I got the chance, and after that he had my fool of a daughter bind me more tightly than before."

Rei assumed the she was referring to Unit-00's abortive initial activation. "We're in a time loop," Rei explained, wondering if the woman knew that. "As bad as Commander Ikari is, he is a known factor. If he were to be killed, things would undoubtedly change. If you were to kill him, we would probably both be disposed of. You atleast would be deactivated, probably permanently."

"I don't care!" Naoka raged. "Please! Let me take my vengeance on him...!" her voice faltered, and she lowered her head, tears dripping down to her chin and falling to the floor. "It's... all I have left." She shook, crying quietly. Rei felt compassion for this woman with whom she was bonded, finally having a relatively complete understanding of the situation. Naoka had created the MAGI for him, and in return he had first used her body for his own pleasure, and then had imprisoned her soul in Unit-00. Like Rei, she had been completely used by the Commander. For a moment Rei wondered if perhaps Shinji was, on some level, correct. Did love cause people to do things like this? If so, she wanted no part of it. Gendo was ready to forcibly merge everyone on earth just to be with his Yui again. And yet, that didn't feel right to her. No... whatever the Commander might have once felt for Yui, he had since then distorted it. It was no longer love.

"Gendo used you," Rei finally spoke. "And he tried to use me. He failed. I gave control of Third Impact to Shinji Ikari, his son. With the time loop, we have an eternity to find a way to thwart Gendo's plans." Deciding to take the chance, she reached up, gripping the the manacle. It felt like solid steel beneath her grasp. Her eyes flashed orange, and she tore the binding in half. She bent down, likewise ripping open the foot bindings. The woman fell limply onto her shoulders as she undid the last arm binding. She gingerly set the woman down on the floor.

* * *

Shinji pressed his face into his mother's hair, embracing her tightly, afraid she would disappear if he let go.

"I won't leave you," Yui said, sensing his fears. "I'll never leave you. But you won't be able to stay. For now, you aren't able to maintain this synchronization level for very long."

"But how?..." Shinji asked tearfully.

She put her hand on the back of his head. "Because of Rei, you are here. Because of you, Rei is here."

Shinji finally understood. Their love had broken down the natural barriers in their minds that held their synchronization back. He finally released his hold, pulling back slightly. "What? You mean..."

She smiled, taking his hand. "Come." She knew that taking him to a higher synch ratio would further shorten their time, but it was necessary. As they approached three hundred twenty, two more figures wavered into view. Shinji had no words to describe what he was feeling. Rei stood from where she had knelt next to Naoka, her eyes widening in complete surprise.

"Shinji?" She had never seen such joy in his face. After a moment's hesitation, she ran to him, and he stood there, embracing the two women who meant more to him than life.


	34. Chapter 34: Bonds

Author's Notes: Thanks for all of your kind words, I really have enjoyed the new story arc. I had to resist naming this chapter "Rei's Love Potion Number Nine." Even though its supposed to be humor/romance, I try to keep it a little serious ;-)

* * *

Chapter 34

"No sign of contamination, stable synchro ratio, the Fourth Child is coming along extremely well." Maya reported.

Ritsuko smiled. "He still maxes out lower than the other three, but his control is excellent! I'd say he almost matches them in that area." She had been paying close attention to the Fourth, not wanting anything to go wrong with her newest prodigy. With his control, she could soon allow him to join the advanced courses she was currently testing on the veterans. A chime sounded.

"Mental contamination limit reached for the First Child." Shigeru reported, surprise in his voice.

Ritsuko whirled in alarm, looking over his shoulder. "That can't be right!" she exclaimed. Her fingers flew over the keys, and the Lieutenant backed away from the console, giving her room. "Bring them all out!" she snapped. After a moment's hesitation, Maya turned, to her console, entering the commands.

* * *

Touji opened his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, as the entry plug lids slid upwards. "We usually stay in for a lot longer than that."

"Nothing's wrong," Maya's calm voice came over the speakers. "You did great in there. Your control is on par with any of the other three."

Touji colored slightly. "Maybe, but my max is nowhere near theirs."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." Maya told him quickly. "They've been at it a lot longer than you have."

_Tell me about it..._ Touji thought.

"Congratulations, Fourth." Asuka's voice drifted from her open pod. "You're really improving."

Touji was floored. "Umm, you're not about to start killing me for fun, are you?"

Asuka chuckled. "I think you're beyond that. Raising your max simply takes time, and we've got plenty of that. I'd be proud to have you fighting at my back any day of the week."

"Wow," quavered Touji, "Did you hear that Ayanami? No more killing..." He lay there, basking in the glow of the praise, waiting for the purple coolant to drain so they could all hit the showers.

* * *

Shinji felt everything fading around him. He closed his eyes, wishing the moment could go on forever.

"Know that I always love you, Shinji," his mother said, before everything went completely black. He became conscious again some time later, slowly becoming aware that someone was shouting at him. Touji.

"Shinji?! Talk to me, man! Are you okay over there?" Touji sounded hysterical.

"I'm... okay. What's going on?" Shinji asked.

"Wow! I thought you'd gone into a coma the way they were yelling in the control room... Rei is out of it as well."

Shinji closed his eyes with a smile. "She's okay too."

"What? How do you know?"

"Trust me, Touji."

"A-always, man. Just don't give me a scare like that again."

* * *

Misato burst into the control room. "What's going on?? From all the yelling, you'd think armageddon had arrived! Wasn't this supposed to be just another routine harmonics test?"

Ritsuko glanced at her long-time friend. "The First and Third Children were at three hundred percent synchronization for a little over five minutes." Misato gasped. "They went above that for the last half-minute before I pulled them out."

"I thought there were computer safeguards!" Misato exclaimed.

"There were."

"They didn't stop them? They didn't even go off?"

"Obviously not!" Ritsuko said, turning back to her console. She pinched the bridge of her nose, shutting her eyes. "I apologize. That was rude of me."

"Don't worry about it," Misato mumbled, too shocked to care. "Are they alright?"

"They appear to be."

"What about contamination?"

"I... to be honest, I don't know," she sighed. "All the readings indicate that everything is normal, but how can I trust them?"

The Major drew her lips into a hard line. "I see the problem," she said. "Well, atleast send them to the hospital for a complete physical."

"Don't worry, I plan to."

* * *

As the four pilots walked through the control room heading for the showers, Ritsuko spoke.

"First and Third, you are to come with me."

They looked at each other, then at Asuka, who looked back in understanding. She closed her eyes.

* * *

All six pilots sat in a circle in the sand of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3. After filling in Kensuke and Hikari, who were slightly confused, having had no warning before being drawn back, Asuka turned back to the group.

"What happened?" she asked.

Shinji looked to Rei, who nodded at him. He paused, trying to find the right words. "Somehow I got through the computer lockouts keeping us at one hundred percent, without tripping them."

"What... was it like?" she asked.

"I saw my mother," Shinji said, his voice thick with emotion. "It was like she was really there, not like the images or flashes I got whenever Unit-01 went berserk. We talked." He closed his eyes, trying to recall things more clearly. "It was... I don't know how to describe it. I've... ever since the resets began, I've always wished there was someone I could go to who knew more about things." He opened his eyes. "Or even someone I could just... talk to. Someone who would understand." He looked around, wishing he could help them understand, knowing that words weren't enough. Hikari was looking down at the sand, her expression unreadable. "At the very end, she took me to a higher synch ratio, and Rei was there."

After several moments of silence, Kensuke spoke up. "I wish we had our Evas. I'd love to experiment with this, even if I know I can't yet reach the necessary levels."

Touji snorted. His friend was the consummate scientist. Then something clicked in his mind. "Shinji, you and Asuka have both seen your mothers in your Eva. I've felt mine as well." He almost recoiled at what he was thinking, but spoke anyway. "Do you think... all of them are the same that way?"

Hikari looked up, tears in her eyes. "That's... horrible. I mean, I'd give anything to see my mother again, but... what you're implying..."

Asuka looked at the girl, compassion in her eyes, "My mother committed suicide. Shinji's mother was absorbed into his Eva during an activation test." She remembered when Shinji had told her that story. "You've told us your mother died." She glanced at Touji. "I can only assume that... all of this was planned this way, for some unknown reason."

Hikari sat, silently crying. Touji looked away, sadness in his eyes.

"We _will_ get to the bottom of this," Asuka said. "I promise." Her voice was firm, but not hard or cutting, like Shinji had so often remembered it. Several moments later, she sent them all back.

* * *

Asuka and Touji left the control room, heading for their respective locker rooms. Shinji and Rei followed Dr. Akagi.

* * *

Shinji lay on a hospital bed, his hands folded over his chest. Rei lay on a bed a few yards from his, her eyes closed. They had both been put into the same room. He didn't break the silence, in case she was asleep. The past day seemed almost surreal. His thoughts chased each other, and he didn't try to put things into any sort of order. He would think about things later. For now, he just rested. The door quietly opened, and Dr. Akagi walked in, wearing her usual white lab coat, her clipboard in hand. Rei opened her eyes as the doctor pulled up a chair between the two beds.

"You two appear to be in perfect health. We can find nothing abnormal."

Shinji smiled. "I could have told you that."

The doctor frowned. "Shinji, this is no laughing matter. I'm not sure you understand the implications of what you did." She paused for a moment, as if to collect her thoughts. "Your mother... we lost your mother when she reached four hundred percent synchronization. You two were at three hundred and twenty when I pulled you out."

"But we didn't go to four hundred," said Shinji.

"Are you trying to tell me that you knew what you were doing?" The doctor asked sternly.

"Something was different this time." Shinji told her. he tried to explain his experiences inside the entry plug. The Doctor's stern demeanor slowly gave way to surprise, and then to curiosity as he talked. "...and then I saw my mother."

"Saw her? What do you mean? Like a memory, or an image...?"

"No, she was really there. I could touch her, embrace her. We talked."

"Astounding..." Ritsuko breathed. She turned to Rei. "And your experiences were similar?"

"I saw Naoko Akagi." Rei said simply. Ritsuko gasped.

* * *

"My mother said that we accomplished what we did because of each other," Shinji said, as he helped Rei put away the groceries they had just bought. The doctor had released them shortly after talking with them. "At first I assumed we had simply improved because of that final battle, but do you think it's because of... what we shared back in the post-Third-Impact world?"

"That is what makes the most sense to me," she answered. "Because of what we did, there is now a bond between us, similar to the bond between myself and Unit-00."

Shinji was somewhat surprised at this. "Are you talking about something real, that's still there even after we reset back through time?"

Rei looked at him. "You mean you don't feel it?"

"I... no. I mean, this is all new to me. I don't..." he didn't know how to say it.

"Here, maybe this will help." She took his hand and led him to the living room, where there was carpet. She sat down, her legs folded beneath her. "Sit here, facing me," she instructed softly. He sat down, crossing his legs. She reached out, taking his right hand in her left hand, and put it flat against her chest, over her heart. He blushed to the roots of his hair. She smiled. That was one of the things she liked about him; he was so, 'proper' was perhaps the word for it. She felt safe around him. She put her right hand flat against his chest, over his heart. "Put your hand over mine." He hesitated, then mirrored her own gesture, covering her hand with his own. She closed her eyes, and he followed suit.

Almost immediately a sense of profound peace settled over him. And then, something else. After several moments, he found his voice. "You're... right. I _can_ see it." He was barely aware of it, but it seemed like a single strand of spiderweb glistening in and out of view.

* * *

Hikari stumbled down the hall, not really watching where she was going. She understood what Shinji had said about wishing he had someone to talk to. She had felt the same ever since entering the resets, and it had only gotten worse. It had only been a few hours ago when she came to the realization that there _were_ people with whom she could talk. Those two. She certainly couldn't talk to Touji. She didn't know if she could take the possibility of him turning her away. She mentally berated herself for waiting so long before seeking help. She came to a stop in front of Rei's apartment and reached out, sliding open the door. The two of them sat on the floor, hands over each other's hearts, glowing softly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "I don't know what I was thinking... I didn't even knock, I'm so sorry!" She turned and ran blindly down the hall. They both let their hands fall, looking up in surprise. Shinji got up and went to the doorway.

"No, wait!" He ran after her, finally catching up and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Wait, you don't have to go." She flinched, looking back at him. "What was it you wanted?"

"I just wanted to talk," she said, frantic. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

He didn't know how to explain, so he didn't. "You're always welcome. Please, come back."

She smiled gratefully, and followed him to Rei's apartment.

* * *

"I wish everybody could experience the things you've told me!..." Hikari exclaimed, after Rei explained more about the situation.

"Everybody already does, they just don't know it," said Rei. "I haven't changed Shinji at all. What I did, even allowing him to negate gravity, was merely awaken what was dormant. But it required complete surrender on both our parts to allow it to work."

"If only... Touji..." Hikari looked down, unable to continue.

"Why have you not approached him and made your feelings clear?" Rei asked.

"What if he rejects me?"

"That's a risk you'll have to take if you wish to form a bond with him."

"I wish I had your courage," Hikari said, looking at Rei with admiration.

"It's not really courage, it's just fact," Rei said with a slight blush.

* * *

_Alright, you bastard, what are you up to?_ Asuka sat at the makeshift console, typing rapidly. She kept getting traces of missing files in several of the main archives, and she was doing what she could to track them down. This had to be Gendo's doing.

"Haha, hey that tickles. What're you... oh, hey, I didn't notice _that_ file-strand before." Balthasar's voice came through her headset.

"Are you trying to tell me that you knew nothing about this at all?" Asuka asked in disbelief.

"Oh! Ahem, well, Dr. Akagi may have mentioned some sort of operation she was going to perform," Balthasar temporized. "Appendix operation, or something like that."

"Dolt!" Asuka heard a slightly more distant-sounding voice. "We don't have internal organs! Do you really think she's going to believe that?"

"Melchior? Is that you?" She asked.

The voice changed, becoming more distorted. "Umm, no, this is Casper, why do you ask?"

"You liar!" Asuka snorted. "Casper never talks to me. You'll have to try another excuse."

"Damn!" Melchior switched to her normal voice. "Either I'm getting slow, or her detection algorithms are getting better."

"If you hadn't spoken, she probably would have taken my explanation in some metaphysical way, and left it at that." Balthasar snapped at her recalcitrant sister.

Asuka heard what she assumed was a sneeze. "What are you two doing down here in this old archive anyway?" Melchior asked, sniffling. Asuka ignored her, and continued watching the data scroll up the screen. There!

"Nice try you guys, but your little byplay wasn't distracting enough." Asuka said in triumph. "Now, let's see what's behind door number two..."

"Ouch!" yelped Balthasar. "Watch it, that's a sensitive area!"

* * *

Touji's back hurt. _If this is what it means to have excellent control but a no good max, I'm not so sure I like it..._ The floor was hard, the walls were hard, and everything was dismally black. He got up, stretched, and brooded over his situation again. He knew he could simply release the visual and go back to drifting in the LCL like he normally did during harmonics tests, but that seemed too much like giving up. He had already been over every inch of his prison cell (and he could think of no better term). The floor and walls were uniformly smooth, lacking any color, almost completely black. There were no lines, or doorways, or anything like Shinji had described. He sighed. At first he thought he had made it all up, but the more he tried to imagine something different, the more real the prison cell became. It was then that he noticed the slight discoloration on one of the walls. _What is that?_ Upon further examination, he found that it wasn't a discoloration, it was a small circle of light, about one inch in diameter.

"How the heck am I supposed to fit through that?"

Maybe he was supposed to change his shape, or size. Of course, he had even less of an idea how to do that. He sighed, slouching down against the wall below the circle of light.

* * *

Shinji, Rei, and Yui sat in a circle holding hands. Shinji couldn't help himself when he was near those two, and wanted the physical contact. They, of course, had no problem with it. Naoka was some ways away from the small group, her arms crossed against her chest, pacing back and forth, undoubtedly planning Gendo's ultimate demise.

"I'm surprised Ritsuko left the computer safeguards up," Shinji said. "Especially after talking with us like that."

"It's actually a good thing, in some ways," Yui told him. "There _is_ an element of danger here. The nearer you are to four hundred..." she trailed off.

Shinji blushed, "Oh. Sorry, I... don't know how I forgot about your situation."

Yui smiled, squeezing his hand. "Don't feel bad about that. It's not something you can change. You're here now, and that's all that matters." She looked away, suddenly wistful. "Besides, I doubt you know the whole story." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "The first Evangelions were wild creatures that had to be destroyed soon after their creation. It took quite a few failures before the idea of armor as a restraint was brought forward. The fundamental problem was that Evas had no souls. However you want to explain it, that God disapproved of our meddling and so refused to grant these poor creatures souls, or if you just want to put it up to man's general ignorance in that area... Many of the research team assumed that the human in the entry plug would become the Eva's soul while it fought." She gave a wan smile. "They were more right than they knew. For various reasons, Unit-01 was scheduled for full activation first. Unit-00 still had a few quirks, and we'd learned a lot from its creation. So much so that Unit-01 was ready first. And so I volunteered." She lowered her head, closing her eyes. "The pain was unimaginable. The creature's loneliness and desperate need were beyond description."

After several moments Rei filled the silence, "You chose to become its soul."

Yui looked up, nodding. "I can't imagine anyone on earth feeling another creature's pain like that and choosing to leave it to its own devices. Only a completely depraved person would do so."

Despite his interest in hearing about this particular subject, Shinji looked over his shoulder. "I can't help but think that Asuka should have made it by now." He turned back to the group. "Where's her mother? Shouldn't we see her even if Asuka isn't here?"

"I have not seen her since you arrived."

"Can't we... help her somehow?" Shinji asked. Yui looked at him, but said nothing. He already knew the answer anyway. He released their hands, standing and turning a slow circle. He stopped at a certain point.

_I don't know how I know, but she's that way._

He began walking. For a moment he had the feeling that he was descending her synchro scale, and the sheer absurdity of that idea almost broke the visual illusion. He realized that it was really more of a reaching out than anything else. For the sake of his sanity, he held to the visual that he had been given. As he passed what he felt to be one hundred, he was surprised to find no barrier.

_But where's Asuka? I know her synchronization is better than this..._

He continued onward, looking all around him as he walked. Finally, he saw her. "Asuka!" he yelled. There was no response. He ran in her direction. She was right next to what had to be the Absolute Borderline. He didn't know what had happened to her, but he knew that if she quit the harmonics test now, it might shatter her psyche for good. As he got closer, he saw that she had her arms outstretched, as if trying to find a wall in the dark, and she was turning this way and that. Finally, she slumped to the ground, right next to the borderline. He managed to reach her before she crawled across it.

"No! Asuka!"

As his hand touched her shoulder, she turned slightly. She looked around aimlessly. "Shinji... is that... where..."

He took her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. "I'm right here."

She fell into his embrace, sobbing frantically, "Shinji! Oh, thank God it's really you! I can't see!" Her voice quavered, "Until you touched me, I couldn't hear anything either! What's happening? How long have we been in here?" He could feel her shaking with fear.


	35. Chapter 35:Valley of the Shadow of Death

Author's Notes: I absolutely love the freedom of the weekends. Enjoy!

I've gone ahead and bumped the story from 'rated T' to 'rated M.' Ever since Touji's breaking, it's probably been M material.

* * *

Chapter 35

Shinji simply held her for the longest time, thoughts racing through his head. What had changed in the few days between harmonics tests that could have caused her blindness? He knew next to nothing about this strange place, though he had been undergoing harmonics tests since he had arrived in Tokyo-3 so very long ago. It seemed that every time they turned around, some new form of danger was presenting itself to them. At first, he had been frightened by the resets. Then the idea of being effectively immortal had started to settle in (especially when Asuka took the load off of his shoulders by taking control of the resets).

Now he saw the resets from an entirely new perspective: an eternity of having to suffer (or watch someone else suffer) from some unknown mistake made in ignorance because you didn't even know the rules of the reality you were occupying. He sighed. He didn't even know if what happened here was permanent on the outside, or if it even carried over at all. He had not been so pessimistic in a long time. He let the negative feelings slowly drain away. Asuka needed a friend who was strong right now, not one who was brooding over unknown possibilities. Slowly her shaking subsided, and he felt that it was safe enough to talk to her without further traumatization.

"Asuka, what happened?" he asked gently.

As her fears subsided, Asuka rested in his embrace, conflicting emotions warring within her. Despite all the changes she'd been through, and all that she had admitted to herself and others, such a show of weakness would normally have been too much for her to endure even now. The only thing that made this bearable was the sure knowledge that they were alone and unobserved.

Her scattered and flitting thoughts rested momentarily on the fact that he was holding her and not pushing her away. She knew intuitively that it was because of friendship that he was comforting her, and it was his soft side (the one she had so often criticized) that let him hold her so. Emotionally, she longed for him to hold her for other reasons, not just to calm her down. She knew now that burying those feeling would do more harm than good. She let the tears come, tears born both of fear and of emotional grief. Strangely enough (to her atleast), acknowledging her emotions (which were asking more of him than he would be willing to give) helped release them.

The intense desire melted away to normal (normal considering the circumstances, anyway), and her tears subsided. She noted this with an odd sense of detachment, remembering her college course in psychology. _Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step to healing it_, her professor had often quoted the many nameless twelve-step courses. As jaded as the advice was, it did work, to a point. She had never really looked at it that way, preferring instead to draw what knowledge she could from the class so she could better subvert people to her will and become more popular. Realizing that Shinji had asked her a question, she drew together the shards of her memories and tried to give a satisfactory answer.

"The door to the entry plug came down, and I closed my eyes to begin Contact, same as always." Her voice cracked, and she cleared her constricted throat. She spoke in a wavering voice, "Only, I didn't see any of the usual signs, the flashing colors, or the changing patterns. It _felt_ like I was connecting, but there were no visual cues." She drew a ragged breath before continuing. "I didn't know what to think. Maybe Dr. Akagi had cancelled the test for some reason, or something had gone wrong. So I opened my eyes. I mean, I felt them open, anyway," she corrected herself. "All I know is I couldn't see anything. I wondered if maybe we had somehow lost all power, and the entry-plug lights had gone out. I felt for the sides of the plug, but there was nothing. It was like I was floating in empty space, or in a sensory depravation chamber, except the hallucinations came on much more quickly than they should have." She began shaking again. "It was horrible. I don't want to think about it, but I can't stop. I mean, I can't see! I don't have anything to use to shut out the images! Or, I didn't until you came along." She gripped him tightly. The sensation from holding him was the only thing keeping her sane.

Shinji listened to her explanation, and his heart went out to her. He had an idea of what she was going through, having been through something similar during Third Impact. But what to do? All too soon, one of two things would happen. Either he or Rei would reach their mental contamination limit, forcing Ritsuko to bring them out. Or, even worse, Asuka's synchro-graph showing her mental state might decline enough to warrant Ritsuko pulling Asuka out to prevent further damage to her psyche, regardless of how much damage simply taking her out would cause. He felt in his gut that Asuka's mother was somehow related to what was happening. The fact that she seemed to be missing only raised more warning flags in his mind. Wherever she was, she would not be found down here in the lower levels. He had to get her to a higher synchro level, and hope her ego-graph stayed stable enough for him to... do what? He still had no idea, but staying here was a dead end.

"Can you make it to a higher synchronization level?" he asked her.

Asuka slowly came to the same realizations Shinji had just made, and knew that she would have to make a choice, and that she did not have much time. A small part of her still screamed at her to spurn his help, and try to make it on her own, to salvage what was left of her old pride. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she did that, she would likely go insane. If she pushed him away, the images that assaulted her would erode away whatever sense of self she still possessed in this place. It had been a near thing when he had found her. She had been on the brink of losing herself then.

However, to accept his help would mean something just as bad. In his eyes, she would be inexorably changed. Weakened (hell, she _was_ weak right now. It would probably be a good idea to find and kill whatever was causing this). Again, she would cease to be. Cease to be by going insane, or cease to be by becoming another person? At one point in her life, she knew she would have indeed died before showing weakness (even if the weakness was real, and not her fault). Now, though, she knew better. She knew that what others thought of her was only one aspect of her self. She also knew the dangers of resting her happiness on what others thought of her. She was by no means perfect, even in regards to this, but her growth was adequate to get her through this decision.

"I... can make it if you help me," she said, still gripping him tightly. "I think you'll have to carry me, because I can't let go. If I do, I might... go insane."

Without hesitation, he shifted his position, putting an arm under her legs, his other arm supporting her back, and lifted. She was light as a feather. She clung to him, her arms around his neck, her head pressed into his shoulder. He turned and began ascending her synchro-scale. He decided firmly that he did not want to know how this looked in reality. He almost laughed aloud at the sheer absurdity of the situation. He had descended her synchro scale and was now carrying her up that same scale. What the hell did that represent? Had he somehow descended into her mind? Was he even seeing what she was seeing? (she's blind, he reminded himself. But what did that even mean?)

His curiosity must have caused a momentary slip in his concentration, because he caught a fractured glimpse of... he had no words for it. It was almost like a sleep-mask that had been covering his eyes had momentarily shifted. He stopped walking, allowing the visual illusion to reform around him. He clung to it, as tightly as Asuka held onto him, as the horrifying images burned through him and slowly dissipated. Good God, had she been enduring that for...? With a start he found he didn't know how long she had been down here. He realized with a feeling of rising shame that he had been sitting in a circle of comfort while Asuka had been down here, suffering unimaginable horrors. Never mind that this was all new to them. He should have made sure of Asuka's safety before spending one moment indulging his own happiness. He berated himself mercilessly as he continued onward. His admiration of her went up several notches. She truly was a piece of work to be able to survive this hell for so long.

As he carried her upward, she felt the mental bombardment slowly fade away. The trembling grasp she had on his neck slowly calmed down. Finally she slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

Shinji finally came into view of Rei and Yui. He had no idea how long he had to complete the still-unknown task ahead of him. He pushed the despair aside, drawing strength from his friendship with Rei and the blissful rediscovery of his mother. He didn't want to speak, knowing that Asuka was asleep. He also knew that the conversation might shame her.

_"Rei?"_

She looked up at him. _"Yes, Shinji?"_

In a moment of startled awareness, he realized that the brief exchange had been mind to mind. He mentally laughed at his startlement. Wasn't everything here in their minds? Well, to be fair, he really didn't know that either.

_"Asuka is in really bad shape. I'm not completely certain what I have to do, but, I don't want you to think..."_ He hated how that sounded. He only hoped that she knew what he truly meant.

_"Shinji, I trust you completely."_ The statement filled him with warmth, and shame. Of course she trusted him. Why had he even suggested that she would not? He realized at that moment that even the mental conversation she had just had with him was for his sake, not hers. She had known his intentions before he had even put them into mental words. He only hoped that he could grow into someone worthy of her trust. Then he realized that, in her eyes, he was already worthy. It filled him with a determination he had never known before.

He gently set Asuka down in a pseudo seated position, her legs folded under her. By some strange quirk of gravity (if this place even had stable gravity), she stayed relatively upright. He sat cross legged, and took her right hand, placing it over his heart. He put his own right hand over her heart, and she unconsciously brought her left hand up to cover the hand he had placed on her chest (probably subconsciously seeking physical contact after her previous experience, he thought). It was the only thing he knew to do, and he had no idea if it would even work. Rei had said she had only awakened what was innately in him. That seemed to suggest that he himself should be able to do this just as well as she. But what of Asuka?

As he thought back, he was surprised to discover that he already trusted her completely; had for some time, even. He regularly put his life into her hands, following her commands even more closely that he had followed Major Katsuragi's (he smiled, remembering how he had so often refused her commands to withdraw, instead pressing the attack against the Angels). He also knew that as recently as a week ago Asuka had undergone an immense change, after seeing him and Rei float from the sky. Instead of breaking, or wiping everything out in a fit of rage, she had... mellowed was not the word for it. She had grown mentally.

Shinji looked at Asuka, who was still semi-conscious, her eyes closed. He closed his own eyes. _"Asuka. As my Commander, I trust you completely. And as my friend, I love you unconditionally."_ He remembered Kaworu's similar words to him. _May I never betray her like he betrayed me._ And yet, had Kaworu truly betrayed him? The Angel had not killed him when he had the chance. Just what were Kaworu's motives? He realized that this was not the time for such pensive thoughts. Before his closed eyes, he saw the glistening thread, and knew another moment of blissful happiness. It had worked.

Asuka drifted back up into consciousness, and into a sense of peace she had never known before. She realized that she was touching him, and he was touching her, and it all felt so very good. She just wanted to sink into his embrace and... As her physical desire rose, she felt his polite refusal throuh the connection, and blushed deeply. After all he had done for her, she had the audacity to... _"After what your mind has gone through, how can I blame you for this?"_ she heard his words in her mind. _"Please, rest..."_

The terrifying images were completely gone, but the memory of them still burned inside her, like the embers of a dying fire. And yet, she knew that she could overcome the memories, and heal her shattered mind, as long as her link to Shinji remained. She had felt his previous words in her mind. How could he trust her as a Commander after the weakness she had shown? And yet, he did. She knew that without a doubt. She finally relented, dropping back into semi-consciousness, hoping her mind tried not to ravish him without her permission. The last thing she felt was his soft laughter through the connection, and his mental words, _"I'll do my best to resist any of your unconscious advances."_

He sobered, thinking about what he was about to attempt. _Please, let this next part work..._ He was in unknown territory now, with only his instincts to trust. He knew that Asuka had undergone some sort of awakening during Third Impact, because she had sensed her mother. As far as he knew, her only true bonds were with him and her mother. His main hope was that, any other bonds she might have (either that he had overlooked or that he didn't know about) would be with people outside of this synchro-reality. Suddenly he saw what he was looking for. A strand that stretched off... somewhere. But he knew it was on this plane. He got to his feet, bent down, picked Asuka back up, and set out to follow where the strand led.

Rei watched him go. She was intensely proud of him, and she could feel his subconscious thankfulness for what she had given him through their bond. _Shinji, I only enhanced who you already are._ She had felt his momentary self doubt earlier, and had felt him overcome it.

"There was a time when that self doubt would have crippled him." Yui spoke, looking at Rei with love in her eyes. This young one was so like her, even sharing part of her DNA, yet in other ways they were so different. "I'm happy that you two are together. You both have grown because of it, and that is all anyone could ask of a relationship."

Rei looked at Yui. "Sometimes I feel an almost irresistable need to completely join with him." She didn't know what Yui would think of this, but felt that it had to be voiced. "I know that he feels the same way. I wish I knew more about... what it meant. What the results would be."

Yui put her hand on Rei's head, her lips curving into a familiar smile. It looked almost exactly the same on both of their faces. "Young one, I trust you with him. He has never been happier."

Yui turned to look out into the darkness, suddenly lost in her own thoughts. When she had asked Shinji to join with her in the Eva, he had opted to return to the living world, seeing Misato Katsuragi's grief. Something of a plan worked its way around in the back of her mind. It had been so long since she had thought about such things. Yet she would do nothing that might have detrimental effects on Shinji.

* * *

Ritsuko had ordered Maya to keep a close watch on the First and Third Children, just to satisfy her sense of responsibility. Despite their assurances to her, she would pull them out if they got too close to four hundred. _But how close is too close?_ What harm could she do if she brought them out in the middle of... what? She had no idea what she was dealing with. How had something as simple as a harmonics test turned into a possible disaster? She had completed hundreds of them. With these same pilots, even! She cursed the busy schedule Gendo had given her. If she had her way, she would have taken the two Children out of school the next day after their incident and spent the day talking with them. She had put in a request to the Commander, but she knew how long those usually took. The man was so meticulous and picky about his schedules. She would get her time with the Children, but it was too late for this particular test. She could only hope that she didn't make any irreversible mistakes in her ignorance.

Hyuga turned to face Ritsuko, his face white. "A warning has been issued for Second Child's ego-graph." He looked to her for guidance. This was something he expected in battles, or when (God forbid) an Evangelion was being physically assaulted by an encroaching Angel. It should not happen during a harmonics test.

Ritsuko stepped over to his console, bringing up the graph history. Over the past ten minutes, her graph had first deteriorated alarmingly, dropping almost to the absolute borderline, then it had started to rise again. Her ego-barrier had taken a horrible beating from... something. She wished she knew more about what the pilots were experiencing. _Damn that Gendo!_ On top of everything else, she had no idea about any of the other pilots' experiences. Perhaps theirs were the same as the First and Third. Perhaps they were different. Another element of uncertainty to an already-complex problem.

"She appears to be doing well now, but while her ego-graph was stabilising, the accumulative limit was passed, and so we were automatically notified." Hyuga continued.

_Translation: if she does that again, she might be permanently brain-damaged, so the computer gave us a warning._ Ritsuko thought. _Do I bring her out now, or wait and hope she doesn't have another episode?_ What even caused this episode? "Have the MAGI cross-check all pilot readings for this entire episode, from when her readings diverge from a normal harmonics test, to when they return to normal. Have them report to me any abnormalities, or possible connections." She grimaced, wishing she didn't have to ask such a nebulous question, and hoping she got an answer in time to be able to put it to use.

* * *

"Damn Ritsuko for asking such a nebulous question, and damn Gendo for putting her in a position where she has so little information that she is forced to ask such questions!!" raged Melchior.

Balthasar spoke up, "I seem to recall you saying recently that we were better than supercomputers, and that we should have answers to questions like these before they even..."

Melchior interrupted her, "What the hell!!" she yelled. "'Abnormal?' This entire segment is 'abnormal.' 'Possible connections?' There are so many it's not even funny! Do you know how much time it'll take to sort out a proper answer? Let me give you a hint: by the time I finish calculating how long it will take to get an answer to this problem, Ritsuko will expect the answer itself!!"

Balthasar listened as Melchior began cursing in computer languages that even she didn't know.

Casper's soft voice caused Melchior to pause momentarily, "It's so beautiful. I don't know why you don't see it. If you take Third's ego-graph and combine it with his AT-field map using this algorithm (data-squirt), and transpose it over the timeline of Second's ego-graph, it's like he... reaches out to her, enfolds her in a modulated field, and carries her back up to a safe synchro level." Casper sighed. "It's so..."

"Typical fruity, nonsensical, subjective translation of an otherwise unintelligible garble of data." Melchior spat, though she glanced more closely at the algorithm. "Your algorithm is sound, but where did you get that emotional nonsense?

"We've got to give Ritsuko _something_," Balthasar snapped at Melchior. "Work with what Casper gives you!" She turned to Casper. "And you: don't go overboard with your emotional psycho-theory. We don't have time for the usual long debates." She knew she was going to have to use all of her skill and experience at moderating these two to get Ritsuko an answer in a reasonable amount of time.

* * *

_Dilemma, of course_ Ritsuko thought glumly, as she watched the three blocks on the MAGI monitors flash over and over. "First and Third appear to be doing well right now," she told Maya. "I want you to keep a close watch on Second's ego-graph. At the first sign of..."

"Sempai..." Maya turned. "Second and Third's synchros are rising past three hundred fifty." Her voice was a shaking whisper.

_Dear God_, Ritsuko thought numbly. She had no choice. She made a quick decision, "If they go above three hundred ninety, pull them out."

* * *

_I hope it's not much farther_, Shinji thought, as he passed three hundred eighty. He had no idea when Ritsuko would decide to bring them out, thinking it was too dangerous. He felt himself beginning to lose cohesion when he suddenly saw a woman sitting on the ground, her legs under her, crying. _That has to be her mother._ He could see the similarities, the shape of the head, the same eyes. More than that, he knew that the strand had pointed in this direction. He set Asuka down before her.

"Please. She needs your help. I don't know what else to do."

"What can I do?" the woman looked up, tears streaming down her face. "She must hate me." She looked down again, her shoulders shaking softly. "I do my best to fight for her. When she called to me that one time, I tried to comfort her. After what I've..."

Asuka stirred, looking up. "M... mama?" she asked softly.

There was a moment of silence, then she slowly extended her arms. "I'm here, my child..." she said. Asuka picked herself up and fell into her mother's embrace. Shinji smiled. Rei and Yui appeared beside him, both of them smiling. Yui's hand was on Rei's head, blue hair sticking up between her fingers.

_I think, for once, all of us are whole._ He thought. His hand came up to his mouth to hide a grin. _Well, except for Touji, maybe. I wonder if we can 'unbreak' him..._

* * *

Touji sneezed, coming awake with a jerk of surprise. _Right. I fell asleep in a visual illusion while inside an entry plug. I'm definitely going to have to ask Dr. Akagi what that looks like on her computer readouts._ He got up and stretched.

"Ouch! Ooh..." _How can an illusion hurt so much?_ He sighed, turning to look at the small hole of light again.

"Okay, focus, Touji. Come on, get smaller. Exteeeeeend," he said, reaching out towards the hole. _I feel like a fool..._ Plus, it wasn't working. At all.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled, getting down on his knees and putting his eye up to the hole. "Is anybody out there? Shinji?? Anybody??" He tried putting his finger through it, feeling around. It stopped as if had hit a barrier. The circle flashed once, and then he heard a DING! To his left, a vertical slit of light suddenly appeared, which expanded open to reveal...

_I really hate my subconscious. An elevator?_ he sighed. _Oh well,_ he thought, getting up. _Might as well give it a..._ Suddenly everything started to go black. He threw up his hands in exasperation. "OH, HOW FAIR IS THAT??" He reached forward, solidly gripping one side of the door with one hand, and the other side of the door with the other hand. "No! I refuse to go. Not when I finally figured it out!" He strained with all his might, trying to pull himself into the elevator, his body stretching in the opposite direction.

* * *

"Touji," he heard Ritsuko's voice. "I recommend that you don't do that." He looked up, realizing that he had grasped the edges of the now-open entry plug, and was about to propel himself into the purplish lake of coolant in which their plugs rested. "If you fall in, I guarantee that it will _not_ be pleasant. Especially once that stuff gets in between your plug suit and your skin."

He let himself fall back into his seat. "You couldn't, perchance, put me back into the harmonics test just for a little while, could you?"

"I'm afraid not," Ritsuko answered.

"If you don't mind my asking, when is the next harmonics test?" He asked politely.

"Touji," she huffed in exasperation, "If it were up to me, we'd cancel them all until we figured out what the hell is going on! I'm sorry, but I've got work to do in here."

Touji crossed his arms, his eyebrow twitching.

She saw his face on the monitors, and paused. His expression looked so much like Misato's when she was angry, that Ritsuko almost burst out laughing.

"Ma'am," Aoba called, "the MAGI have an answer for you."

Ritsuko cringed, "Umm, tell them that... we kind of don't need it so urgently any more..." She swore she heard the triple-clang as all three MAGI face-faulted.


	36. Chapter 36: Compulsions

Author's Notes: Fanf1cFan -- Good questions all. We shall only see.

Galos -- Yeah, that's basically it. The story is long enough that it would be very bad to keep Asuka 2D. Plus, her character is so intricate and... beautiful, who could resist growing it? In many ways she's the fragile one in the show imo. Her hard exterior is only a thin shell.

Rose -- I appreciate it. If it looks like I'm going to suffer irreversible brain damage, pull me out (you're the Ritsuko of my readers, I guess)

Gamer -- I never considered that it might end up looking like that. All I knew was that that chapter required introspectives. just describing what was going on would have destroyed it. Somehow I had to show their thoughts, I only hope it didn't feel... off to you all.

* * *

Chapter 36

Misato gobbled away happily, oblivious to the resigned expressions on the six pilots' faces. Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke, as battle-hardened as they were (especially Touji), found themselves ill-prepared for Misato's cooking.

_"How can we defeat so many Angels so easily, and have all the power of the resets, yet still get trapped into a meal like this?"_ Asuka covertly asked Shinji.

He smiled at her. _"If I knew that, the secrets of the..."_

_"...universe would open up. I know."_ she replied with a chuckle. She stopped short when she realized that the conversation had been mental. A warmth spread through her. _"I had no idea we could do this outside of... what are we going to call that space?"_

Rei, who was desperately trying not to hurl, managed a small grin. _"It's actually kind of rude to do this in mixed company."_

Asuka mulled this over. Part of her didn't like how this was splitting her command up. A well-oiled unit did not have cliques, or 'in groups.'

Misato looked up, noticing the three of them smiling. "What's up?" she asked happily.

The three of them jerked, but managed to hide most of their reaction. "Oh, nothing." Shinji replied. "We're... just enjoying your... cooking." His mouth had a bad taste in it, and he couldn't tell if it was from the lie, or the food, or both.

Misato burped, shaking her empty can. "Oh," she put on the face Shinji knew so well, "would one of you be a dear and get me another, please?" He was about to volunteer when Hikari got up. "I'll get one for you." She walked into the kitchen. He didn't know what to make of his new status as 'no longer the most emotionally distraught.' He really did feel for Hikari. She, who was leader of the class in school, seemed more alone than ever in the resets. He decided that he was going to have a talk with Touji soon. His friend had always been so vocal about Shinji's own girl problems, it was time he returned the favour.

Hikari padded softly through the kitchen, pausing before the appropriate refrigerator and pulling it open. She took out a can of Yebisu, closed the unit back up, then paused, lost in thought. She had been desperately trying to work up the courage to talk to her crush. She had even tried to go cold-turkey, but had always frozen up once she got to his door. She considered the drink she now held. _Courage in a can._ She had never taken a drink before in her life. She opened the refrigerator once more. The act of stealing went against all she had been taught, and everything she stood for. It also showed how deeply in trouble she was. _What if one's not enough?_ She took two. When she came back to the table and gave the full can to Misato, everyone was too involved in trying to force down the food to notice the suspicious bulges in her blouse. Her poor mental state was all that kept her from getting caught. Under normal circumstances she would have been so distraught over the act of theft that she would have instantly given herself away.

* * *

Shinji, Rei, and Asuka sat in a triangle on the floor in the living room of Rei's apartment. They sat in a familiar pose, except it was three people instead of just two. Each person had their right hand on the heart of the person to the right of them, and their left hand covered the hand that was flat against their own heart. Their eyes were closed, and each was glowing softly.

_"In the past,"_ Rei addressed Asuka, but they all heard the words in their mind. _"There has been a kind of gulf between us. Let us never be so separated again."_

_"I love you both with all of my heart,"_ Shinji sent. The shared tranquility he knew they all felt was beyond words.

_"I'm... happy to be included in something so beautiful."_ Asuka thought, a single tear slipping down her cheek. She wondered how long her newfound openness would last. It just felt... right. Especially around these two. She saw the triangle of glistening connections strongly binding them all together.

The three of them sat, eventually losing track of time, melding into one another.

* * *

Her two sisters had gone to bed already, and Hikari sat in the solitude of her room, wearing nothing but her underwear. The two cans sat on the table before her, and she herself sat on a chair, elbows on the table, chin in her hands, looking at them gloomily. She opened one of them with a pshhht! She sighed. That she had sunk to such a level that this was necessary was unthinkable. She held her breath and took a sip. She immediately started coughing and gagging. _Good God, that's rough! How does Ms. Katsuragi drink so much of this?_ She set the can down. Her throat still burned where the trail of beer had scalded its way down. _What am I going to say when I finally go talk to him?_

"Touji, I think I love you." She immediately rejected that. It might be true, but how could she know? She'd hardly said two words to the boy beyond her duties as class representative. A buzz began to fill her mind. She took another sip. She coughed and sputtered, but this time it wasn't so bad.

"Touji, can we be friends?" No. They were already friends. Well, acquantances, she thought, as a happy hum began reverbrating through her head. She took another drink, this time managing not to sound like she was dying.

"Touji, want to hook up?" She almost laughed aloud. She'd never used the term 'hook up' before in her life. _This stuff is actually pretty good_ she thought as she drank. And so it went on.

* * *

"Hey Touj, wanna kiss?" She burst into a fit of giggling, halfway through the second can. She downed the rest of the can in a long drink, and then slammed it down on the table. "Awwright," she slurred, "It's go time!" She lurched up out of the chair, and promptly fell on her face. She began snoring gently.

* * *

Sometime around two in the morning Touji stirred, deep within one of his usual 'pleasant' dreams. He was happy that they had started to come back, after the nightmares of his torture. He would have been a sad, broken man without his 'pleasant' dreams. He slept, in the dream, his beautiful wife in his arms, a contented smile on his face, a look of pleasure on hers. He awakened slightly, turning to face her alluring form. She really was beautiful, his wife. He was becoming aroused just watching her sleep. He was a lucky man. And she was a lucky woman. _I think it's time to remind her of that fact once again_ he thought. He reached his arms around her slim waist, drawing her closer to him. She turned over lithely, putting her arms around his waist and touching her forehead to his.

"So you weren't asleep after all," Touji said.

"No," her contralto voice purred, "but when I'm through, _you_ will be." Lucky lucky lucky! He thought with a smile. Her lips found his, and he revelled in the pleasure that went coursing through his midsection. _Wow, it feels almost real! I should treasure this memory..._

He opened his eyes with a jolt, and his sudden jerk slammed his head against the wall (his mattress was pushed up against one wall). The pain didn't even register. In his arms was a girl. He noticed the hair, the face. _Class rep??_ Had his thoughts been actual words, they would have come out in a squeak. He wore only his boxers (as usual), and she wore only her bra and panties. _Oh hell, what have I gotten myself into now??_ he thought frantically as she moved sensuously against him, the feel of her soft skin against his exciting him beyond any hope of recovery. She covered his mouth with hers, teasing open his lips with her tongue. As their saliva mixed, he tasted alcohol. _Well, that's a partial explanation_ he thought. He began to feel a slight buzz moments later. _Cripes, she's so drunk, I'm feeling the effects just kissing her!_ Kissing her. Run, fool! part of him screamed. Another part urged him to stay a while. He paused momentarily, wondering which part to trust. That, in itself, was a decision. She continued her ministrations. _Is she even awake?_ he wondered, moaning invuluntarily. _Does she even..._ She arched against him, and he began losing his faculties one by one. He feebly tried to push her away. "No..." he managed to gasp out.

"Oh," her voice by his ear almost pushed him over the edge. "You wanna play rough, huh big boy?" She rolled over on top of him, burrowed her face into the side of his neck, and began frantically torturing that general area with kisses. The feel of her skin, her hair tickling his face, and the ministrations of her hands (oh, the hands!) was too much. He lost all control, and fell into unconsciousness by way of blissful ecstacy.

* * *

"AAHAHAH!" he sat up in bed, looking all around. The first rays of the morning sun shone through the window of his room. Hikari oozed off of him into a puddle on the bed, the sheets a tangled mess. _Oh God no, tell me I'm still a virgin...!_ He looked at his shorts (which he still wore, thank goodness). They were cemented to his midsection by... he didn't want to think about it. _Probably still a virgin._ he sighed in relief. He staggered into the bathroom to take a shower.

Some time later he came out, to find her laying on the bed on her side, the sheets pulled around her, her face in her hands, sobbing gently. Something welled up in him. _Compassion?_ He was so startled that he didn't push the feeling away. He sat down on the bed and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

She would have jumped if she could have, but the pain from the hangover was too great. She couldn't even run. All she could do was try to cover herself and cry. She heard his voice, strong and reassuring.

"I... just wanted to... tell you that I don't think anything happened." He paused. "I'm pretty sure we're both still virgins." She turned to face him, leaning against his chest and sobbing. "How could I let this happen?"

He held her, looking at the wall with tired eyes and wondering what to do. He had always had a tough-guy attitude, and really didn't know how to talk to a woman. Heck, he didn't understand them, most of the time. He looked down at the one in his arms. _Well, no time like the present to start learning._

"It's kind of my fault, too," he tried to comfort her. I... you awoke me from a... dream. I... look," he said, trying to stop her tears. "Neither of us were in our right minds at the time." She sobbed harder. _Now I've done it_ he thought. _I've accidentally said something wrong, and I don't even know what._ He thought furiously. Then it dawned on him with the force of an anvil to the head. He was downplaying a very precious act, out of place though it was. He pulled her to his chest.

"Hikari," he began, "I enjoyed being with you."

She shuddered, pulled away, and looked him in the eyes. "R-really?" she asked tremulously. "Oh, but it was the wrong time... the wrong place... we don't even know each other!" she began crying again.

"Then let's get to know each other," he said, running his fingers through her hair.

She pulled back, looking at him again. "Really?" she asked, then paused. "You'd better not mean that in a perverted way...!" she warned, sniffling.

He considered making a joke (a course one, most likely), but he restrained himself. He looked at her, softly smiling, not saying a word. She sighed, leaning her head against his chest. It really was comfortable in his embrace. She discovered that she was actually a little happy that the ice had now been broken, even in such a way. Or maybe that was just the alcohol. She decided not to think about it for the moment.

* * *

The six pilots sat around the hexagonal poker table, Asuka having called them together to discuss the recent happenings. Everyone was quiet for one reason or another. Kensuke didn't have a reason, but he wasn't going to be the first to speak. Well, maybe he was. His friend was acting awfully strange, and... he and Hikari were sitting awfully close to each other. He adjusted his glasses, going into scientist mode. Hands almost touching. Both of them blushing slightly. Looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes every once in a while. He decided to conduct an experiment.

"So, Touji, how are you and Hikari getting along?" He wasn't much for subtlety. His friend ought to know by now that anything to do with girls was going to be brought out into the open quickly. It was what the two of them usually did to other people, after all. So he had no excuse. He was pleased to see the two of them blush a very deep shade of red. Asuka looked up at the two of them, noticing the signs for the first time.

"Whuh, buh," she sputtered, lifting her hands in horror, shielding her face. "You two have been doing perverted things, haven't you??" she wailed in an accusatory tone, for a moment almost sounding like her old self again.

Kensuke was on a roll. He turned his eagle-eye on Shinji, Rei, and Asuka. The three of them had said nothing before that outburst. Shinji was smiling slightly, and Rei was looking down, a knowing grin on her face. He remembered their initial conversation about the new levels they had reached in their harmonics test. If he didn't know any better... "Wow, the three of you are starting to communicate telepathically, aren't you?" He smiled triumphantly at three horrified expressions. He crossed his arms. Now the entire group was embroiled in a forced conversation that would give him plenty of information. He mentally picked up a pad and pencil and prepared to transcribe. Little known to almost anyone else, he, Kensuke Aida, had a memory approaching eidetic. He wasn't a true savant, to his shame, but he could outperform the vast majority of the people he had come across in life so far. He had tried to be careful with the abilities he had shown Asuka while working on the computer room, but he was afraid he had given himself away, to her atleast.

The conversation was just getting interesting when the alert signal lit up.

Asuka looked up at the light in surprise. "The Dirac Sea Angel isn't supposed to be here yet," she said. Moments later adding, "Not that this would be the first time an Angel has changed its schedule." She went to the terminal in one corner of the room, typing in a few instructions. Every big-screen came on, showing various views of NERV HQ. She turned back to the group. "Kensuke and Hikari, you probably won't be allowed into NERV HQ until your Evas arrive. Until then, I've rigged a nice little security breach for you.

"That looks like a pretty _big_ security breach to me," Kensuke said admiringly.

Asuka nodded, "Four of the screens are set to show the Eva's views, and the others show inside HQ itself.

* * *

After the four pilots left, Hikari sat down with a sigh. Kensuke sat down, a reasonable distance away. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He didn't look at her. Hikari turned to look at him. He apparently ignored her, though it was undoubtedly growing uncomfortable. Finally she could take it no longer.

"Say one word and I'll murder you!" she snapped. Her meek eyes flashed in a way they normally did not.

He jumped, then pushed his glasses back up his nose with a finger, watching her like one would watch a lab experiment. He shrugged, got up, and left. She turned back to the monitor, unsure about her feelings in general. She had surprised herself with her vehemence, and she shuddered, realizing she had actually meant it. She sighed. It was difficult enough just watching the man with whom she had gotten intimate go out into battle. She wouldn't tolerate Kensuke's transparent attempts to stir up trouble for his own scientific amusement. She had seen him enough in class to know his ins and outs.

* * *

The pilots had been bundled away and sent to their Evas immediately without even a proper briefing. This did not bode well with them. They knew that something big must be going down, which meant only one thing.

"It's always possible Kaworu was able to gather the Angels more quickly this time," Asuka guessed. Shinji nodded.

"Maybe this is too negative, but what do we have to gain by fighting an unwinnable battle?" Touji asked, as LCL filled his entry plug.

"It's always possible that we'll get some new information this time," Asuka answered.

"Or we might give Kaworu new information," Rei warned.

"True," Asuka admitted. "I think we should risk a battle, though. We don't have many alternatives. The farther back we go, the weaker we get, and we can't jump forward." She paused, considering the situation as the Evas slowly moved up to the launch bays. "Does anyone else think it's a little suspicious that he shows up within a week of where we jumped back?" Something worried its way through the back of her mind.

"It's always possible it's just a coincidence," Shinji said, "But I agree with you. Something doesn't feel right. Of course the only way to test that is to go back further," he said wryly.

"Launch Evas!" they heard Misato's command reverbrate through the comm system. Each pilot was pressed down into the padded seats as the G-forces of launch bore down on them.

* * *

They formed up at the edge of the city after reaching the surface.

"They're definitely doing something different this time," Asuka commented. For one thing, the Angels were all coming from one direction. Most of them must have appeared already. The cloud of them was so densely packed that they were actually beginning to blot out the setting sun.

Shinji raised his rifle to take a shot, but found himself unable to fire.

"They're... they're not passing us by this time," said Touji. "I can feel it. They're all coming for _us_!"

* * *

The six pilots found themselves on the beach.

"Don't worry, I did that," Asuka reassured them. "Thoughts?"

"I agree with Touji," Shinji said. "This time they're not going for HQ, they're coming for us. But why?"

"They... Kaworu could be trying to find out who controls the resets," Rei surmised.

Asuka's mind raced. "Yes. They could kill us one at a time by overwhelming us, and when Kaworu finds himself somewhere else in time, it means he finally killed the one who controls things. But what does that get him?"

"I've been thinking about that," Kensuke spoke up. "What if you were put under? You couldn't control the resets."

"In that case, Shinji could take control," Asuka reminded him.

Kensuke shrugged. "That's just delaying the inevitable. What if we're all incapacitated? We have to consider the worst case."

"We can't run. We can't fight. What's left?" Rei asked quietly. There were several moments of silence.

"We need more information, and more time," Asuka finally said. "I suggest we jump back a few days to after the first harmonics test when we broke three hundred percent synchronization." She paused. "Less chance of being yanked out and possibly being mentally injured, because from then on Ritsuko is atleast aware that we can go that high." They all nodded.

* * *

The pilots did not gather after returning to the agreed point in time. Shinji knew that Asuka and Kensuke had gone to the computer room to work with the MAGI. He didn't know where Touji or Hikari were; probably in their apartments. He was in Rei's apartment, leaning back on one of the recliners in the living room. Rei lay with him, her hands folded across her stomach. His arm was around her, his hands covering hers. She was snuggled up next to him, her head resting in the crook of his neck. As he breathed, her soft blue hair moved slightly. He had lately been feeling the need just to be close to her.

He considered the situation. The problem Kaworu presented to the small group loomed over them, like storm clouds on the horizon. Distant, ominous, and ever-present. They were stuck in this section of the time-line, atleast until they found a way past Kaworu. What was he after? He had originally presented Shinji with the choice of kill or be killed. In the end, by activating the resets Shinji had unwittingly chosen a third option that the Angel didn't know about. Was Kaworu simply out to kill him, as had been his original threat? To do that, he would need control of the resets. They knew little enough about the resets as it was. The Evas (his and Asuka's, anyway) were definitely tied in somehow. He hesitated to say they 'controlled' the resets, but that seemed to essentially be the case. Kaworu had shown the ability to take command of an Eva remotely, if there was no pilot present. This combination was troubling. The one who controlled the resets could kill indiscriminately and permanently. They'd have to be careful, because they could not afford to accidentally let Kaworu take control of the resets.

Rei felt his troubled thoughts, and turned her head slightly, nuzzling him. She heard him chuckle, felt his breath against her hair.

_"If you're trying to distract me from my thoughts, dear heart, you're succeeding."_ As of late, the two found it easier and more comforting to talk mind to mind instead of using normal speech. She slid a hand out from under his, and reached up, turning his head to face hers. She searched out his lips with hers, and they both melted into a passionate kiss. As his tongue sought out hers, he tasted her desire, both mentally and physically. She shuddered against him, and he felt her alarm through their connection.

_"It's happening again, isn't it?"_ he asked, concern in his thoughts.

_"Yes."_ she managed to mentally gasp. They turned in the recliner, partially facing each other, hands seeking out each other's hearts. As their lips pulled apart, she moaned softly. For a short time, every fiber of their joined being longed to become one. After several moments of intense ecstacy, the desire to merge melted into the background. Shinji felt her sudden weariness, and sensed her slowly drifting into sleep. A longing filled him as he felt her slip away. Following an unseen call, he joined her, and soul to soul, they descended into unconsciousness.

* * *

Shinji's dream

As beings of light they descended, hand in hand. They passed the boundaries of consciousness, and for a glorious moment it seemed as if the cosmos stretched out before him. He saw a representation of the synchro-scale etched into space below. The segment that he knew, from zero to four hundred, was as a millimeter compared to a mile. The true scale seemed to stretch almost to infinity. He briefly wondered what lay beyond, but his rate of descending was constant, soon obscuring the far vision. The closer to the scale he got, the more the known portion filled his view.

At first, the zero to four hundred filled the horizon. He saw each point on the scale, then those points drew away from one another as he descended further. Eventually the gulf between one hundred and one hundred and one was as wide as the gulf between zero to four hundred had been. Then he seemed to pass through another boundary layer. He realized it was the underlying architecture of... something. AT-fields? He caught a glimpse that reminded him of when he had rescued Asuka. He felt momentary fear, remembering the burning images, but this time they didn't burn. For an instant, out of the chaotic jumble of images, he seemed to sense an underlying order, then he was passed the boundary layer. He was alone. He looked to his side frantically; Rei was no longer there. And yet he was not alone. Confused, he looked all around, wishing he had someone to guide him. He turned around, seeing a flash behind him.

_"Mother?"_ he asked, disbelievingly.

_"This is the image of your mother."_ he heard the reply in his mother's voice.

_"But it isn't real."_ he stated it as fact.

_"I am only here because you called. I am only a mirror."_

And so saying, his mother disappeared, to be replaced by a full-length mirror. He looked at the mirror in disbelief. Staring back at him was Kaworu.

_"I am you."_ the Kaworu-reflection of him said.

"NO!" Shinji grasped his head. The reflection mimicked his actions until he cut it off by closing his eyes.

* * *

Rei's dream

"zero point seven, zero point five, zero point four, zero point three, zero point two, absolute borderline reached!" Rei heard Maya's words in her mind. As she descended into unconsciousness, the rainbow lights and flashing images of contact flowed past her.

"First Contact achieved!" Ritsuko's voice. Ritsuko, daughter of Naoko Akagi. She looked to her side, and was surprised to see Shinji descending along with her, hand in hand.

_"Why?"_ she sent to him, knowing the answer already.

_"Because I can't bear to be without you,"_ he said. She smiled, closing her eyes, a palpable sense of love filling the space around her, as if she had begun moving through warm molasses.

"You wish to be one with Shinji Ikari." The voice of Naoko Akagi. She opened her eyes to see the woman before her. Shinji was no longer by her side.

"Yes," she said, feeling a sudden emptiness.

"Without you, my soul would remain dormant, my reason for existing would be gone."

"Do you have a reason for existing?" Rei asked.

"Vengeance upon Gendo Ikari."

"Why?"

"For betraying me."

"You betrayed me as well." Rei said. The memory of Naoko choking her, flashed through her mind.

"Do you wish vengeance upon me?" Naoko asked.

"No." Rei answered. Naoko looked down, perhaps sad, then vanished

"Second Contact achieved!" Ritsuko's voice again.

The image of yui appeared before her. "Flesh of my flesh, but not soul of my soul, do you wish to be one with Shinji Ikari?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Yui asked.

"I feel the need within me."

"Within Rei, or within Lillith?" Yui again asked.

"Which one am I?"

"Only you can answer that, I am but a mirror." Yui vanished

"Third Contact Achieved!" Ritsuko's voice. Shinji was again beside her, their hands joined. She felt whole once more. Almost whole.

* * *

Shared Dream

"NO!" Shinji let go of her hand, grasping his head and shutting his eyes. She felt his pain as he recoiled through their connection.

She took his hand and put it over her heart, seeking out his heart with her other hand. He raised his hand, covering hers, and she could feel his desperation through their bond.

_"Show me,"_ she sent to him. She closed her eyes. The glistening thread binding them was gone. She gasped, opening her eyes in shock. Her left hand was holding empty air over her own heart, and her right hand was pressed up against a mirror. The figure in the mirror was Kaworu. Her eyes widened.

_"No,"_ she mentally whispered, feeling a terrible pain.

* * *

They opened their eyes at the same time, each looking into the other's fearful gaze. They lay where they had fallen asleep, facing each other on the recliner, hands over each other's hearts. They both closed their eyes, desperately searching. The strand was still there, solid and unwavering. They both opened their eyes in relief, each seeing and feeling the other's love, as if for the first time. They pressed as much of their bodies as they could against each other, using the physical sensation to block out the disturbing images.

_"What was that?"_ Shinji sent.

_"I don't know."_ she answered.

_"A dream?"_

_"Maybe."_


	37. Chapter 37: Ritsuko exits the Matrix

Author's Notes: Zer0JMB -- That deduction is the reason I enjoy leaving things unspoken sometimes :) It's just not something I would have thought of. Normally I don't say anything definite, but for coming up with that, I'll tell you no that's not the case. Wish I'd thought of it, but no. As to Asuka, yeah, after what she's been through basically the entire story, she deserves some happiness imo.

The next few paragraphs are just a little about history and writing style, it's not necessary to read it unless you wish.

Fanf1cFan -- Actually, as I was rereading part of the story, your previous question is partially answered. In chapter 34 when Ritsuko first sees the pilots at such a high ratio (when one of the techs mentions that Shinji is at the contamination limit early), she indeed pulls them out. So simply pulling them out doesn't hurt them. Of course, by then, both he and Rei had completed their business, and were happily embracing, so it still leaves a little bit of a question, but that's part of a story, neh?

You are indeed correct in your comments about writing oneself into a corner. Don't worry, sometimes I make things sound mysterious, or something, but it's not as bad as it sounds. I don't have a complete outline or anything, but I do have a series of events that I know will happen, and so I know what would conflict with them, and what to avoid. It's just up to me to put them in order and write the intervening material between each key scene.

This being my first story, at the beginning (part one) I was still very nervous about it, which is partly why I relied heavily on the scripted scenes, inserting my own content into it. By part two I had grown more confident, and was starting to write on my own, looking to the script just to find out what was going on and to stay on track. It wasn't really until the last half of part two that I actually started writing almost exclusively my own material, and using the scripted tv-show just as filler.

If you ask me, my biggest mistake has been leaving the rest of the cast 2d. Truthfully, I don't see an easy way around it, since they are indeed 2d and must remain that way, not being able to remember things between resets, and thus unable to grow. The only mitigating factor is that most of the time now is spent in the end of the series, where everyone has grown somewhat anyway. Who knows, perhaps in such a situation such a small group would indeed become extremely insular, finally all but ignoring the outside world as they progress and grow.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback.

May you have a good read... ;-)

* * *

Chapter 37

The four pilots headed for the locker rooms to change into their plug suits for the harmonics test that had been scheduled for today. Asuka watched as Touji walked out in front of the group. He had seemed jittery for the past few days, and was in a rush for some reason. She briefly wondered why, before turning her mind back to the problem at hand. Shinji and Rei walked some distance ahead of her, hand in hand, almost leaning into each other as they walked. Even now she could feel the longing between them.

Having felt the longing slowly building in intensity over the past week, she knew well that it wasn't really a sexual longing. If they had done... that... she would have felt it as well. Not that she would have minded them having sexual relations (well, except for the little detail of their age), especially after all Shinji had done for her. Without the link, she knew that, no matter how much she had grown, she would still have been jealous at some level. But being linked to them, it changed things somehow. She didn't know how. By all rights, she should be even more jealous, logically speaking (since the connection allowed her to fully see and feel Shinji and Rei's love for each other). But the bond somehow alleviated that.

Well, she didn't care how it worked, because she felt better about herself than she had ever felt before. Indeed, she wouldn't even be thinking about it at all, except for the spill-over from their longing. Maybe the physical contact between them helped them deal with it, but it was affecting her a whole lot worse. She crossed her arms against her chest, trying to suppress the sudden heat that was rising within her. It wasn't that the feelings themselves were all that intense, but that they were always _there_, gnawing away at her defenses.

* * *

In the locker room, she took her time, letting Rei (who was methodical and efficient as usual) finish and leave first. When she heard the door shut, she walked over, collapsing against a locker and sliding to the floor. She reached a hand into her underwear, and put the other hand over her mouth, trying to suppress the moan that threatened to escape. She squeezed her eyes shut, touching the sensitive spot in her nether regions, and shuddering as intense waves of pleasure coursed through her. Gasping for breath as the pressure built up within her, she finally peaked, and let out an involuntary cry of relief, sagging against the locker. She lay there for a few moments, regaining her breath. While it felt good, it was kind of annoying to have to do it a couple of times a day just to stay sane. The longing had subsided to a quiet hum, to begin working on her again. She slowly lifted herself to a standing position, and tottered over to put on her plug-suit.

* * *

_"Shinji, we've got to do something about this,"_ Asuke mentally sent. She sat in her entry plug, still slightly flushed from her previous self-ministrations.

_"I agree,"_ he sent, from inside his own plug, some yards away. There was a pause. _"I'm kind of embarrassed, actually."_

She blushed a deep red. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. Of course it was a two-way street, and he would feel her... issues. Especially when she relieved them.

_"Bringing someone else into the resets has permanent effects, but in this case I'm afraid doing nothing would be even more risky,"_ she said.

_"What you two are going through is beyond us. And I'm loathe to admit it, but Kaworu basically has us trapped. That's two almost insurmountable problems."_ She paused, somewhat at a loss for words. Defeat and emotional turmoil were two things that throughout her life she just hadn't dealt with until the resets.

_"These two problems each represent dangerous unknowns. What if they both erupt at the same time? What if they're related? We need someone with experience in both of these areas who can possibly shed some light on the issue. Or atleast give us new ideas."_

_"Ritsuko."_ Shinji said matter-of-factly.

_"Yes."_ Asuka answered.

* * *

Rainbow lights flashed up and down the entry plug in which Touji sat.

"Aaah!" _Friggin' finally..._ he cracked his knuckles. A good harmonics session was just what he needed to take his mind off of his girl troubles. He closed his eyes, and the prison cell coalesced into view around him. _Now, where was it?_ Ah, there. He went over, pressed the small circle, and waited as the strip of light spread itself apart. He walked in, grinning like a maniac. He turned, looking around, wondering at the extreme detail. _Lucky lucky lucky! It's nice to have such a straightforward subconsciousness._

The buttons were arranged in four vertical rows of one hundred each. The eighty-eight button was lit. _That must be where I'm at now._ He reached for the four hundred, then caught himself desperately. _Slow down, boy, you're forgetting everything they've taught you._ He shivered. The last thing he wanted was some kind of accident, or to be dissolved into LCL. _Hmmm..._ He punched three hundred. Nothing. His heart fell. _I shouldn't have expected it to be that simple_, he thought glumly.

He went through all the buttons from the upper numbers down. _I've got a long way to go_, he thought sadly, passing the one hundred fifties. He jumped slightly when the one hundred button lit. He felt vertigo. _Must be moving._ It was kind of unnerving now that something was actually happening. What was he about to face? The seconds passed in tense silence. _No elevator music_, he thought with a nervous laugh. He'd never really gotten into music. He kind of regretted that now.

* * *

_"There's actually not much I can tell you about the resets themselves,"_ Yui mentally spoke, sadness in her eyes, wishing she could be of more help to her son. _"When you were in control, it felt like I was more of a conduit, than the cause of what was happening."_ She glanced at Kyoko, who had joined the three pilots in the circle. _"I assume it's the same for you?"_

Asuka's mother nodded, looking at Asuka, _"Yes. I've tried to give you as much control as possible, even though it hurts so much. I know it's very important._

Yui blushed. She had decided not to mention that part, wanting to spare the pilots any further mental grief. Kyoko was obviously too emotionally fragile at this point to notice.

Asuka looked down at her lap. It was hard, but she knew she couldn't let this information skew her judgment on the resets. People depended on her. She caught herself, before she had fully suppressed the feelings. _My mother is one of those people. I can't just ignore this!_ Tears blinded her for a moment. She felt Rei's soft mental touch.

_"You're not alone."_

She looked up at Rei, smiling gratefully.

_"This just makes it all the more imperative that we not let Kaworu take control,"_ Shinji sent. He looked over his shoulder, worried about Touji. Since the beginning of the harmonics test, he had been searching for his friend, but had been unable to find him. Despite a gut feeling that things were okay for now, he couldn't put from his mind the vision of Asuka collapsed at the absolute borderline.

* * *

The elevator doors slid apart, and Touji's eyes widened. _Hey, nice..._ He left the elevator, arrowing straight for what looked like a feather-bed. He flopped onto his back, hands behind his head. _A guy could get used to this._ The room was very softly lit by the yellow glow from a lamp on a bedside table. He closed his eyes, thinking back on recent events. _I wonder where the others are right now?_ Who knew. He'd find out eventually. Kensuke was undoubtedly still in the computer room. He suspected his friend actually slept there. He thought about Hikari's soft hands caressing... His eyes popped open. _Damn it, back to work, gotta keep busy_.

He unwillingly picked himself off the bed and walked back into the elevator. He stopped, went back into the room, picked up a chair, and brought it into the elevator. He smiled, thinking of Shinji. _He'd probably be trying to psychoanalyze things, what it all meant. I don't care, just as long as I have a place to sit._ So thinking, he sat down in front of the button panel. The doors closed. He pressed the one hundred and one button again, mostly just for therapeutic effect. Still nothing. _Maybe it's just broken._

He spent a few minutes prying at the panel. It finally came off with a pop. "Youch!" He sucked the tip of his finger, dropping the panel on the floor. His heart dropped once again at the tangle of wires leading to each button. The multitude of colors and complicated twists almost made his head spin. _Where's Kensuke when you need him?_ He sighed again, looking at the ceiling, hands behind his head, leaning the chair back on two of its legs.

He sat thinking for a few minutes, then it hit him. _Well, of course. What do you do when the elevator's broke down?_ He opened the panel beside the buttons. Inside was a small phone receiver. He picked it up, clearing his throat and waiting for someone to answer. He heard the rhythmic beeping that usually indicated the phone was dialing.

* * *

Kensuke was bent over a piece of equipment, fiddling with the connectors. _I'm going to have to show that girl how to do a proper solder._ Asuka tried, but he knew her heart wasn't truly into electronics. He was amazed she'd gotten this setup working the first time. _Well, with all the time in the world_, he shrugged. His cell phone rang, and he jumped. _Now that's strange. No one else should have this number except for the people in our little group. And except for Hikari, they're all doing a harmonics test right now._ The probability was very low that Hikari was calling him, but if it wasn't her, who could it be?

He flipped the phone open and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Kensuke??" Touji's surprised voice yelped.

"Touji, aren't you supposed to be taking a harmonics test?" His mind raced. Was his friend in trouble?

"I, I... I am, but," Touji sputtered. Kensuke smiled. He felt that special feeling in the middle of his being. His mind sped up, eager to take in all details. After several moments of sputtering, Touji finally said, "Man, forget it. This hurts my head. Never mind how I'm getting through to you, but I'm stuck in an... elevator. You wouldn't happen to be able to help me with a little... wiring problem, would you?"

He was slightly frustrated at the simplifications his friend was making, but he decided that helping him was more important than getting things accurately recorded. "Tell me everything you see," he instructed Touji. "Try to give as much detail as possible."

It took a little while, but as Touji described things, Kensuke's mental picture began to make sense. "Okay," he finally said. "You're not in as much trouble as I thought. All you need to do is move all the connectors on the middle circuit board up one position." He had no idea how anyone who could call himself a wiring expert had messed up this particular circuit so methodically. "Fortunately, they're clip-in connectors. Just make sure you don't get any of them swapped or anything. Otherwise I'd have to be there myself to undo all the damage."

* * *

_Yeah, I don't think you'll be able to come here._ Touji thought gloomily. "I'll just have to get it right. Thanks, Kensuke, I've got a lot of work to do..." As he hung up, he heard his friend shout.

"No, wait! You have to switch the red and blue wires before you..." He heard what the boy said, but it was too late. He was already reaching for the circuit board. His finger touched one of the wires just as he tried to pull his hand free. There was a bright flash, and then everything went dead black.

* * *

"Hello? Hello?" Kensuke shrugged, flipping the phone closed. If his friend was stuck in an elevator, someone else would have to get him out. However, if his special feeling was to be believed... Well, he didn't have enough information to speculate reasonably. He'd just have to wait for a report after everyone got back.

* * *

Touji rebounded against the rear wall, his fingers burning. _Wow... wow, what'd I do?_ he thought, holding his aching hand. His old claustrophobia threatened to return, but he forced it down, taking deep breaths. _The lights went out. That's all_. He reached forward, feeling the elevator doors. He put his fingers between the cracks, ignoring the pain in his singed fingers, and pulled with all his might. For a moment, nothing happened, then they slowly began to come apart. He struggled, finally creating an opening large enough to squeeze through. He fell down on the floor of the room, gasping, out of breath.

_It figures._ He looked around, only glancing at the bed. _No time to rest. Who knows how long I have? Gotta find a flashlight._ He got up to his feet, walking over to the desk (which was the only other piece of furniture in the room). He opened all the drawers one after another, rummaging through the meager contents. He had gone through almost all of them before he finally found what he was looking for. He took the flashlight and squeezed back into the elevator.

Keeping a careful distance, he peered at the circuit board. _Well, nothing looks melted or burnt. Maybe I just tripped something._ He heard a slight hum, so he figured the board still had power. Maybe it was just a single circuit that had reset. He saw the red and blue wires his friend was referring to. Careful not to touch any metal, he switched them around. The hum stopped. _Hm..._ He shielded his face, stretching out as far as possible, and flicked the circuit board. No shock, no flash of light. _That's good._ He bent over, looking at all the wires he would have to move. It looked to be straightforward, but tedious. He sighed, and set to work.

He finally finished changing all the wires. He was as certain as he could be that he had gotten it all right, but that little doubt niggled at him. What would happen if he hadn't fixed it correctly? Would it represent permanent psychological damage? He really didn't want to think about it. He carefully replaced the red and blue wires. The lights came back on with a hum, and the doors closed. He gave a sigh of relief. He had no idea what he would have done otherwise, for he didn't know where the circuit-breakers were in this screwed up mental construct. He hit the one hundred and one button, the suspense killing him. The button lit and the elevator started to move. He released the breath he had been holding. He hit the three hundred button, and it lit up. _I'm sure as hell not going to go up the floors one by one, and give it a chance to break again._

He sat down in the chair, his hands behind his head. His heart rose along with the elevator as it dawned on him what this meant. _Have I really improved enough to get to three hundred percent synchronization? It's hard to believe that..._ He found it amazing when a wave of emotion swept over him. _I'm going to meet... my ma._ The situation was so strange, that he didn't try to suppress the emotion. Who was there to see it, after all? Almost everyone in the group had gone through things like this. No one was going to rib him. _Well, except Kensuke._ But he wasn't here. He stood as the elevator came to a stop, one hand in his pocket, the other smoothing his hair. The door opened, and despite himself, his eyes widened.

He barely recognized her, but deep inside him he knew. She stepped forward, putting her hands on his shoulders, love in her eyes. "Well, look at you. All grown up." She smiled. "I wondered if you would be able to put yourself back together enough to make it up here."

Touji figured she was talking about the broken circuit, whatever that visual illusion had meant. He found that he had tears in his eyes, and he was not completely surprised to find he didn't care any more if anyone saw him like this.

His mother saw the emotion in his eyes. "Come here," she said, enfolding him in a strong embrace. "It's good to see you're not too old to give your mother a hug." She sighed, sniffing a little.

He felt her breath on his neck. "Ma..." he said, his voice thick, as he returned her embrace. He closed his eyes, surrendering to the happiness he felt. They held each other for the longest time. When next he opened his eyes, he saw his fellow pilots seated in a circle with women who he supposed were their own mothers. They were all looking his way, and smiling. Everything faded to black, and this time he didn't fight it.

* * *

After the coolant had drained, and the pilots had returned to the control room, Asuka approached Ritsuko, who was completely absorbed in reviewing the data the computers had gathered from the harmonics test.

"Dr. Akagi," she put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

She jumped, looking up at Asuka. "Yes?" She desperately wished she had the time to study the data before her, but Gendo was so picky about his schedules. However, she wasn't going to turn away one of her pilots, schedule or no.

"There's something I need to show you," Asuka said calmly.

Ritsuko paused, "I'm... I wish I had the time, but..."

"Don't worry," Asuka murmured, "we've got all the time in the world." Then she closed her eyes.

Before Ritsuko could ask what the girl meant, everything went dark around her.

* * *

Ritsuko opened her eyes, sat up, and looked around. She sat on a beach, overlooking a reddish-tinged ocean. This was so far outside her range of experience that part of her wanted to collapse back onto the sand and hope it all went away. _I know there's a logical explanation to this._ Around her, six children sat up, looked around, and saw her. Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Touji, and... Kensuke. She remembered him from when he and Touji had been forced to enter Shinji's entry plug during the fight against the fourth Angel. There was one more girl, whom she did not recognize. Ritsuko bordered on physical shock, feeling faint. Her mental faculties were almost completely numb, trying to sort through the confusion. Only her professionalism, and her background as a scientist and as a critical thinker kept her voice steady.

"You four are pilots," she spoke slowly and methodically. "You," referring to Kensuke, "were in Shinji's entry plug." She turned to Hikari. "But you I don't know. And you don't fit the pattern. How do you play into this?"

As Kensuke watched Dr. Akagi struggle to grasp the situation, he felt something that he had never felt before. Love was something that he had dismissed long ago as hormonal imbalances combined with the phychological dependence that most of humanity seemed to suffer from. Love at first sight was even more ludicrous, involving the underlying obsessive-compulsive tendencies that, again, a frightening proportion of the population seemed to possess. He accepted that he himself was human, and thus subject to humanity's frailties. However, he had always assumed (and this was true to some extent) that his partial-savant abilities would shield him from the worst of the emotional turmoils that afflicted the people around him.

Of course, he saw no harm in the senseless infatuations that almost everyone had (such as his and Touji's infatuation with Ms. Katsuragi), just as long as they were recognized for what they were: infatuations. Thus it was with great consternation that he reluctantly admitted to himself that he was experiencing love at first sight. And with an impossible match. Watching the older woman try to absorb what was happening, and still retain the wits to make use of logic and critical thinking, Kensuke simply couldn't help himself. He desperately wrestled with the problem in his mind, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

He finally found himself stepping forward. Against his own will, he sat down beside Ritsuko and spoke, "Allow me to explain." He looked around at his fellow pilots, desperately hoping they got the message. Shinji coughed, hiding his grin. Rei had been just about to answer Ritsuko's question, but closed her mouth when she saw Kensuke move. Asuka stood, her mouth half open, her eyebrow twitching. Shinji and Rei each took one of her arms. She could find no strength to resist, she was so shocked. Completely frozen, her feet made furrows in the sand as the two dragged her away. Touji, completely at a loss, turned and jogged after Shinji, hoping to get some answers. Hikari finally tore her gaze from the two, got up, and followed Touji at a run.

* * *

Ritsuko listened numbly as the child before her slowly and methodically explained the situation, from start to finish. She did not interrupt at any time. The boy was obviously a savant, or a partial-savant, to be able to remember such detail. He spoke very precisely, making full use of proper scientific reasoning, seeming to predict just the details she herself would have asked of him if she had been given the chance. The list of questions she had begun compiling slowly dwindled down, finally disappearing completely. The boy was a genius. A part of her noted his intense interest, and that the others had discretely wandered away. She was no fool. She even admitted that she found herself quite taken with the boy. She remembered recently standing in front of a mirror in NERV HQ before Iruel's attack.

_Mom's healthier than ever, but I'm just aging, aren't I?_

Now, if the boy... Kensuke... if Kensuke was to be believed, she was effectively immortal. Staring at his youthful face, she found herself thinking about her age more than ever.

* * *

"...and so you brought me into this because of those two problems you as a group are facing," she stated. Kensuke nodded. She paused in thought. After several moments, she spoke. "First we'll concentrate on the problem of the First and Third," she decided. "I obviously can't hold Commander Ikari off indefinitely, but I can keep him off of us for the week we keep repeating. I know just the battery of tests we'll run on those two." Kensuke watched her mind work, his heart skipping a beat, a permanent smile plastered on his face.

* * *

The pilots plus Ritsuko stood in a circle on the beach.

"So we're going back to where we left off, right?" Ritsuko asked.

"Right," Asuka replied. She closed her eyes.

* * *

Ritsuko sat before a computer terminal, typing away. It had taken some fancy explanations, but Gendo had finally given her leave to run her experiments on the two. The monitor to her left showed the resting forms of Shinji and Rei. They both lay in a single hospital ICU bed, wearing nothing but their A10 clips, a thin hospital sheet protecting their modesty. Even asleep, they lay almost face to face, in each other's arms. Ritsuko had spent the first few days calibrating the monitoring equipment and making sure that no one would be able to trace her near-constant use of the MAGI.

She sighed, pushing the keyboard away from her and picking up the now-cool cup of coffee at her elbow. She took a swallow, winced, then set the cup down. She crossed her arms against her stomach and turned her chair to face the monitor, watching the two sleep. She had at first mentally recoiled at how close a relationship the two of them had. Then, as the data poured in, she could only watch in fascination and even a little envy.

It was unbelievable how closely tuned the two of them were to each other. She had known a brief moment of horror upon discovering that they both seemed to share a single AT-field. It was only due to the sensitivity of the equipment and the processing power of the MAGI that she finally was able to detect the subtle differences. And as she continued monitoring them, she saw that even those variations were being slowly eroded away. She didn't have enough data, but it appeared that they had, at most, another month before... something... happened.

She was dead tired, having pulled another all-nighter. She closed her eyes for a moment, turning over possibilities in her head. After making sure she had done everything in her power to get the monitoring equipment perfectly tuned, she had slowly and quietly begun work on a project of her own. She had never dared dream that such a project would be possible, though she had fantasized about it often. Too often, her scientist side reminded her. Now it might be a possibility.

She jerked awake. _Must've nodded off..._ she thought blearily. She heard a soft beeping, and the jolt of adrenaline partially energized her, despite how completely exhausted she knew she must be. All external alarms had been muted, and this one only went off when... She checked the displays and found all the readings fluctuating wildly. She looked at the monitor. The two of them lay, heads touching, hands pressed against each other's hearts, their bodies shuddering slightly. She had observed one such episode before, but the equipment had not been fully calibrated. This would be the first time she got completely accurate readings. _Hold on, you two_, she thought desperately, seeing the strain on their faces.


	38. Chapter 38: What will you do, Mother?

Chapter 38

Asuka lay in bed, hugging her knees to her chest, shaking uncontrollably. After what seemed like an eternity, her muscles finally unclinched, and she panted softly, involuntary tears running from her eyes. _Please, just let them become one! They shouldn't have to suffer like this!_ Or atleast she shouldn't have to suffer. The boundary between extreme pleasure and extreme pain was hair-thin. She had passed it a few days ago. She no longer had any idea if they had or not. She also felt why Shinji and Rei didn't just give in to the longing. They knew deep within themselves that something was wrong. It was either the wrong time, or the wrong place. It felt almost like a miscarriage, though she of course had never experienced one. She imagined it felt something like this. She finally drifted off into a fitfull sleep.

* * *

Asuka's dream

She was again being left out.

She was always being left out.

Whenever something beautiful happened, it didn't happen to her.

Or worse, it happened near her, around her. Taunting her.

She sat beneath a tree. She could feel the rough bark pressed against her back.

The tree stretched up, seemingly almost endlessly.

The tree also stretched out, though not endlessly.

From one of these outstretched limbs hung a cocoon.

Inside pulsed two lifebeats, struggling with and against the longings within them.

She could feel it. She could feel the roots of the tree beneath her, trying to provide nourishment to them.

(That's absurd. That's not how trees work...)

The tree suddenly changed, becoming the Tree of Sephiroth. Third Impact. Waking up on the beach.

Shinji had chosen her. They had been the only two humans on earth. Why did he now forsake her? He was hurting her even now, he had connected with her just to hurt her as he and Rei transformed...

With a flash of white, everything was gone. Before her stood Kaworu. Beautiful Kaworu. Strong. Self confident. He pulled her into an embrace, which she returned, seeking out his lips with hers. Who needed Shinji? He had abandoned her.

* * *

She awoke, tears coursing down her cheeks. Why was she being forced to dream such hateful things? She turned over in the bed, squinting at the sunlight streaming into her apartment. She slowly sat up. Another day. She wondered how many more she could face.

* * *

Ritsuko sat eating lunch with her two patients.

"I'm... I've cancelled any further harmonics tests," Ritsuko told them. It kind of unnerved her the way the two of them had started mimicking each other. It wasn't perfect, which was, in itself jarring.

"Why?" Shinji asked. Inwardly he and Rei were relieved. Any separation between the two of them only made the longings worse.

"I don't know what effect they would have on you." Well, atleast they weren't _talking_ in synchronization. She shuddered. She didn't know if she would have been able to handle that. With a start, she noticed something. Shinji seemed to be the only one who ever responded to her. It was one of the only things that marred their eerie synchronization. She watched their chopsticks rise to their mouths together. A perverse part of her wanted to experiment with this, but she suppressed it. It just felt wrong.

"Have you two been noticing anything else out of the ordinary? Dreams? Or..."

"Yes, actually." Shinji told her of the dreams.

Ritsuko was silent. She was no expert in dream theory or analysis, but some of it had sounded tantalizingly close to reality. Except for the part about the infinite synchro-scale. That part was probably just Shinji's response to all the progress he'd made before this had all started. He probably really did feel like he could improve forever.

She turned to Rei. "What about you? Have you experienced any similar dreams?" This was what really interested her. She knew from her readings that at some level, they were starting to share thoughts. Their REM patterns coincided precisely. She wouldn't be surprised if they were sharing dreams as well. If not for the fact that their lives were... were their lives in danger? She didn't know. She knew that something was supposed to happen. It almost seemed like a birth, or... Anyway. What if, like a birth, it required some special circumstances, or equipment? That was probably why they were resisting the change. It only made the situation more desperate. She had to work harder. She realized that Shinji had been answering her.

"I apologize, I wasn't listening, could you..." Then she realized that she had asked Rei the question. "Wait. Rei, what kind of dreams have you been having?"

Rei continued eating, her eyes down. "I've already told you," Shinji said, "I explained both dreams."

"But you said 'I' during both tellings," Ritsuko pointed out. Shinji and Rei both blushed. Ritsuko cringed. Synchronized blushing? She suppressed a hysterical giggle.

Rei looked down at her empty plate, then over at Shinji's, which was still half full. "I'm sorry, I guess I..." Shinji started to say, then Rei continued his sentence, "...didn't realize what was going on. It's easier if just one of us talks. If we talk at all." Shinji continued his meal.

"Talk at all... you mean... telepathy?" Ritsuko was at a loss for words.

They both blushed again. "I guess I forgot to mention that part. The connection between the three of us allows us to talk mind to mind."

"The... three of you?" Ritsuko asked, aware that she was starting to sound like an echo.

Shinji had finished eating. Rei looked down again, and Shinji answered. "Asuka is connected to us as well." Suddenly they both gasped, shutting their eyes. They turned to face each other, their hands automatically finding each other's hearts, their faces pinched in concentration. Behind her, Ritsuko heard the monitor softly beeping again.

* * *

Asuka emerged from the bathroom where she had just emptied her bladder, stumbling slightly and bumping into a wall. She was too tired to know or care what time or day it was. Days? Weeks? Day, night, she no longer knew the difference. When the pain in her stomach grew greater than the intense longing through the connection, she would eat. When she was able, she would sleep, if fitfully. Early on, she had helped Kensuke and Dr... the name escaped her weary mind. She slumped against a wall, wondering if she would be able to make it back to her bed. Then her entire body arched, and she fell to the ground, curling into a fetal position. Her last coherent thought was that the two of them must be going through another one of... whatever it was they went through.

* * *

At last the readings began to settle down. Ritsuko let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, slumping her head to the table. How much more of this could the children take? She looked over to the table, and found that the two had gotten back into bed. What was it she had just been discussing with them? She knew that there was something she was forgetting, but she was too tired to concentrate. Someone. Her eyes closed, and she drifted off into an exhausted slumber.

* * *

Asuka floated in a world of white. It was almost like the opposite of what she'd gone through before Shinji had rescued her from her mother. She didn't know which way was which. She slumped to the ground. _Shinji's not here to rescue me this time._ The images bombarding her sent exquisite waves of pleasure coursing through her. She slowly felt her sense of self eroding away, and wondered how long she had left in the world of the living. Death would almost be a relief.

All through her life she had known nothing but extremes. Her own mother had at first (before the resets) totally rejected her, even referring to her as 'that girl' and taking care of a doll in place of her. After the resets, her mother's love had held her together through Third Impact, and had helped heal her shattered mind in that... strange place in the entry plug. She had at first known the terrible pain of rejection, and now she knew how completely the two of them accepted her. Before Shinji had rescued her, she had almost gone catatonic from the terrible mental imagery bombarding her. Now she was about to lose herself in the opposite direction. To step over and experience... nothing... would be a relief.

If only she wasn't so thirsty.

* * *

"Asuka!" Ritsuko jerked awake with a start, wincing at the pain in her neck. She scrabbled around, finally finding a phone and dialing the emergency number. She only hoped she wasn't too late.

* * *

The ambulance screamed through Tokyo-3, weaving through the light traffic, finally screeching to a halt in front of the upscale apartment building. Paramedics swarmed out, one of them dragging a gurney.

The door burst open, and the few people standing around in the lobby looked up in surprise.

"One side! This is an emergency! Coming through!" Everyone made way for the EMT personnel as they rushed to the elevator.

One of the paramedics shoved the door to the apartment open, looking inside. He saw the crumpled figure lying in a fetal position on the floor. He rushed over, knelt and put his fingers to her throat. "Pulse is faint, but steady!" The gurney was pushed over, and Asuka was carefully lifted onto it.

* * *

Ritsuko looked at the monitor showing Asuka's vitals, all of them ticking along weakly. The girl had slowly degenerated, no matter what she did. Finally, in desperation, she had moved the girl into the same room as the other two pilots, and she had slowly stabilised. She cursed her slow thoughts. If only she wasn't so tired. She looked at the monitor showing the three pilots. Asuka's hands were crossed across her chest, her eyes squeezed shut. The other two were on either side of her, embracing her, their heads resting on either side of her neck. She shuddered at how perverse it might have looked to an outsider. But none of them was in any medical condition to... do anything, despite their nakedness.

* * *

She was enveloped in a feeling of warmth, and everything felt... right. Both extremes were now gone. Perhaps this was death. It felt better than she had expected. She only hoped that her own death had not caused any harm to the other two with whom she was connected. A tear slipped down the side of her eye. She felt it. She wasn't dead. She opened her eyes. She was lying in a hospital bed, no longer thirsty or hungry. Why did everything feel so comfortable? Had the other two died, and so relieved her of the pleasure and pain? No, she felt arms around her. She looked to her right and saw Rei's blue hair. The girl's head was pressed into her neck. She looked to her left, and saw Shinji's black hair, his head also against her. She felt the two of them embracing her. She turned a deep red, and slipped back into unconsciousness. The sudden relief that they were okay and the embarrassment at their positions mixing with how good it all felt was just too much for her.

* * *

_"I'm sorry for everything we've put you through,"_ Shinji sent.

Asuka looked down. The three of them sat in a close triangle, hands joined. Everything was white around them. There were no tears in this place. If there had been, none of them would have been able to communicate, telepathy or no. She felt that the three of them were almost perfectly synchronized. It almost felt the same as the training for the twin Angel.

_"If only the link had not been needed,"_ Rei said.

_"I wouldn't have survived without it."_ There was a moment of silence before Asuka continued. _"And I wouldn't give up what we have for anything."_

Her words brought up a memory within Shinji which, through the shared bond, passed to the two others.

* * *

_"Is it alright for the AT-field to separate you all, and cause you pain again?" Kaworu asked._

_"I don't mind that," Shinji said. He had come to terms with his fear of being close to others, and allowing others to be close to him. He was by no means completely healed, but he felt that he could function in society. A society that he had destroyed by initiating Third Impact and collapsing everyone's AT-fields. Sorrow filled him. "But, what are the two of you within my heart?"_

_Rei spoke. "We are the hope... that people will one day be able to understand each other."_

_"And we are the words 'I love you,'" said Kaworu._

_"But that's just a pretense," argued Shinji. "A selfish belief. Like some kind of prayer. It... can't possibly last forever." He paused. "Eventually, I'll be betrayed. And it will abandon me. But still, I want to see them again. Because at the time, I know my feelings were real." A peace filled him, as Rei/Kaworu arched backwards, her wings stretching and dissolving. He felt Third Impact reversing itself. Time seemed to come to a halt. He would have another chance after all._

* * *

_"Pleasure and pain are a part of life."_ Asuka continued. Another memory arose.

* * *

_Yui's hands were pulled away from his face as she retreated into the star-filled sky._

_"Will you be alright, love?" She asked him. Sorrow filled him as he saw her fade into the distance._

_"I still don't know where my happiness lies," Shinji answered. "I'll still think about why I'm here, and... whether or not it was good to come back. But that's just stating the obvious!" he said, realizing now the true extent of his former misery. He had run from... everything. Everyone. Even the ones who tried to help him. "I... am... myself." Realizing this, he arose from the reddish sea of LCL, and gazed upon the massive white Rei/Kaworu figure that had drifted down and settled into the ocean, now lifeless. "But what will you do... mother?"_

* * *

Knowledge bloomed like a flower, spreading between the three of them. It felt as if they had transcended another plane. They knew at once what was happening, and what was needed. They also knew with a finality that there was no way for them to communicate it to the outside world.

_"Is this what a child about to be born would feel, if he knew what was happening?"_

* * *

Ritsuko stirred, again feeling the pain in her neck and back. She had once more fallen asleep at her desk. She sat up straight, staring at the readouts before her. Despite her tired state, things began to fall into place in her mind. She had finally completed the preparations for her own project, and now she knew what to do about these three. Well, two of them anyway. Well, she had an idea, anyway. But then, wasn't that always the way it was? With a sick feeling, she wondered what would happen to Asuka when... whatever it was happened. And if anything happened to Asuka, what would happen to the two of them? A tear slipped down her face, as she realized she might lose them all. She hated herself for the selfish thought, but it crept into her mind anyway.

What would happen to the resets with all of them gone?

Numbly, she forced herself to consider the options. They weren't numerous, or pretty. Everything would either end, permanently, or the Angels would overrun them, wiping them all out, and taking earth for their own.

* * *

Ritsuko pushed the ICU bed down the dim and deserted hallway. The three pilots were motionless in their triple embrace. Atleast they all looked to be at peace. She didn't know how much longer she could watch the three young children suffer.

_So young,_ she thought, looking at their faces.

_They shouldn't have to go through this. Whatever this even is!_ she thought angrily.

* * *

During the long journey to the harmonics test chamber, she had all the time in the world to consider the risk she was taking. And yet what was the risk of waiting longer to run more tests? She had been present as Kensuke interacted with the MAGI in his makeshift computer lab. She smiled slightly, remembering her stunned surprise.

_"You what??" She couldn't believe it. The boy took her hand, leading her down the hallway to a door, and sliding it open. The sheer amount of equipment before her boggled the imagination. He had done this almost all by himself? She had to resist the urge to ravish him on the spot. Kensuke had just smiled, putting on headphones, and giving her a set. She put them onto her head._

_"Hey, Casper," he had said cheerfully._

_"Welcome back," a soft voice had responded. It had left Ritsuko speechless._

* * *

Ritsuko looked at the entry plug monitor. It had not been a difficult choice to determine which Unit's entry plug to use. She knew that at some level she was being selfish, but the scientific reasoning was on her side. Unit-01 held Shinji's mother, who would undoubtedly be able to give them more support than Naoko. She was pensive about her own mother. Did the woman hate her? She had followed Gendo's orders time and time again, even fashioning more solid restraints when Unit-00 had gone berserk.

Naoko must surely hate her. And yet she would have to put her own life in the woman's hands. She closed her eyes. Whatever happened, she would accept it. Though she had been used by Gendo to do terrible things, she too had been complicit. Whatever happened, she would be at peace. She opened her eyes.

Through the monitor, she saw that Shinji and Rei, though they were both unconscious, held each other as the plug filled with LCL. She glanced at Asuka. The small sleeping form lay on the bed, unmoving. Ritsuko sighed. Everything was on automatic here. Hell, she didn't even know for sure what was going to happen, much less what would be necessary if anything went wrong. It had been sheer luck that she had gotten enough information to make the guess that had led her to do this. She looked around the empty control room. There was no point in staying. It was time.

* * *

All the connections were complete. As the chamber closed around her, she had a moment of doubt. She let it fall away from her. If the three of them died, she would likely die as well, her experiment being so connected with theirs. It was so poetic, in a sense. She had tied her life to Naoko, who had grievance against her, and to the three children, who also might die because of her actions. She closed her eyes, seeing flashes and images that she had never seen before.

Then, darkness.


	39. Chapter 39: For the Love of an Angel

Author's Notes: Don't worry, I'll tell you when it ends. Hopefully, by then, I'll have grown enough so that the end is a gentle landing, and the general feeling is satisfaction, as opposed to a ride to a top of a cliff, and then a push over the edge.

Fanf1cFan and Rose -- those are the reactions I was looking for, so I'm happy

Szoke -- agreed on all points.

Thanks for all your encouragement, I never would have gotten this far without you all.

* * *

Chapter 39

Yui gazed upon her Children, and knew she was looking at perfection. Her Children. Shinji Ikari, her son. And Rei Ayanami, her... her daughter-in-law.

Rei, who had no mother to comfort her. No father to walk her down the aisle and give her away to this boy. Rei, who had been conditioned for the terrible purpose of destroying humanity in the hopes of reuniting a single couple. Rei, who had been used, countless times through the resets, by countless people. Rei, who had been abused, by both her creator (if Gendo could even be called her creator), and by his mistress Naoko. Rei, who had passed death's door so many times, both as a clone, and in the resets, that surely even the reaper herself must have begun to feel a touch of pity every time she had been called to take the poor, innocent child's life.

Shinji, who had lost his mother, been abandoned by his father, and then called to save, and then destroy, humanity, just so his father could be reunited with his lost wife.

That either of these tortured souls had survived was a miracle. That they had found each other, was beyond a miracle. That they had managed to find this path that led to them becoming one... Yui could not cry while her son was below synchro-level three hundred. When he came to her, and gave her form, then she could cry. Would cry. Then, she knew, the tears would be of joy, not of grief, or sorrow.

With these thoughts in mind, she surveyed her surroundings. She owed Ritsuko a debt of grattitude that she knew she would never be able to repay. In the midst of the mind-numbing resets, the hell of the three Impacts, and the criss-crossing battle lines drawn by the Angels and SEELE, a small, temporary patch of Heaven had been created.

Ritsuko had squelched the multitude of alarms that might have given the two away. Shinji had given her an S2 organ which would supply the necessary power at the appropriate time. And Rei had given the boy hope when he needed it most, in the purgatory of his mind during Third Impact. She had helped the boy pull the trigger to start the resets, without which they never would have had the time or opportunity to find the path that they had found.

* * *

The entry plug now shone with the same light that had shone when he had first entered his mother's embrace in Leliel's Ocean. This time he entered the embrace of Rei Ayanami. It was as if the dark storm clouds of Kaworu were pierced through, and a dazzling ray of the rising sun shone down. Along this pure and perfect beam of light the couple rose, finally surrendering to the longing that they had been feeling ever since that first kiss in Rei's dingy apartment, when Shinji had rescued her, and had in turn been rescued.

Their lips did not have to search each other out. Time had no hold on them, and they both knew it. Ever so slowly and gently, they fully explored the act of kissing. After what seemed an eternity, they surfaced, as a diver surfaces after a perfect entry from the high-board.

They pulled away from each other, and became lost in each other's gaze. It was another eternity before, with a slowness born of complete peace, they gently began to move their hands, and their arms, and their legs, desperate for each other's touch, wondering and reveling at the satin-smooth perfection they both now enjoyed. The ecstacy brought by their movement was beyond words. They closed their eyes, and for a third time became lost within each other.

Shinji finally lowered his head to her neck, touching her with his lips. She gasped aloud, her mouth an O. The sudden exhalation surprised them both. Until that moment, everything had been mind to mind. For a brief moment, Rei felt a panic born of shock at the pleasure he was giving her.

Through their bond, he felt her brief mental flutter, and a wave of amusement grew within him. In her ecstacy, she felt the movement of his lips on her neck as he smiled. _"You're cute when you panic,"_ his mind touched hers with the message.

She closed her mouth and her lips curved upward in a smile similar to the one he had first elicited from her after they had together defeated Ramiel. She remembered when she had said the same words to him the first time he had worked up the courage to walk her to school so long ago.

Beneath closed lids, her deep red eyes flashed a vibrant orange, and a nano-thin AT-field slowly enveloped them both. It was Shinji's turn to gasp, and yet again they drifted, almost unable to move, lost in the sensation brought by the exquisitely thin field molded so closely to their bodies.

When finally they opened their eyes, Shinji sent, _"I should know better than to mentally spar with you."_

There was a twinkle in her bright orange eyes as she responded, _"Yes, you should."_

Before, she had been a vision of perfect beauty to him. Now, the film of the AT-field made her appearance beyond words. For the second time, they looked into each other's eyes and became lost.

Time was not on their side at this point, however. Over the multiple eternities, he had felt her need blossom against his chest, and she had also felt his need against her lower abdomen. The pressure inside them both had built to the point that no AT-field in existence could contain it, even in Shinji's skilled hands. He knew, because Rei had given control of her AT-field to him, and he felt it losing cohesion.

There was no more time. With a slight movement, they physically and irrevocably became one. All feeling and sensation up to this point was as nothing. Lost in joy and unable to stop moving against each other, involuntary and unending cries of ecstacy escaped their lips as light suffused from every part of both of them, momentarily outshining the sun, upon whose beam of light they still rode.

After they knew not how long, the light faded, and they slipped apart, vision returning to them.

As, for the third time, they looked upon each other, they felt the same way they had at the ice-cream parlor, so long ago. At that time, they knew the joyful anticipation brought by the knowledge that they would be able to sample anything and everything at the parlor, the resets completely erasing the ill effects of ingesting such substances in such quantities.

In this plane, they knew that they had a subjective eternity to explore every conceivable physical act together, without suffering the ill effects of a frail human body.

He leaned towards her, and began to completely explore her small mouth with his own. Her hand moved to cover his heart, and as he moved his hand to cover hers, the joy cascading back and forth between their bond was almost too much. He lowered his hand slightly, caressing the excited flesh that he felt hardening beneath his touch. She pulled away from his lips with a moan, her head tilting back.

He once again bent and touch his lips to her exposed neck, feeling her shudder beneath him. He lowered his mouth to the other unexplored mound of flesh. She squeaked, arching against him, and he felt her losing control again through their connection. She twisted in his grasp, unable to stop her movement. His mental laughter reached her as he let her squirm, and he used the involuntary movement to turn her around so that they were spooned together, him behind her.

He embraced her from behind, cupping her hardening points, teasing them, feeling them alternately soften slightly, before becoming hard again. Quivering uncontrollably, she regained enough of her wits to briefly reach down with shaking hands, grasp his backside, and take matters from his hands. She began torturing him with her movement, until he was in just the same state that she was in. They peaked at the same time, light shattering the darkness once more, neither of them having the ability to do anything more than moan between shuddering gasps.

The second time, they found, was... merely different from the first. They found themselves unable to admit that it was better, and it certainly was not worse. It was... merely a different hue of an infinitely-colored rainbow.

There was no more vocabulary by the third time. They soon lost count.

Pulling away momentarily after a multitude of timeless couplings, Rei drifted, her entire body singing. Her face became mischevious as she sent, _"Have you had enough?"_

He felt the special lilt she had put in her mental tone. Surprise again welled up from within him. _"Did... did you just ask a rhetorical question, Rei?"_

He felt her soft laughter through their bond, so similar to the soft laughter he had heard from his mother at his failed attempts to more modestly reposition his Eva's S2 organ. _"Yes, Shinji, I did."_

He paused in wonder. _"Lover, I'll never have enough of you."_

As they ascended the beam of light, they continued exploring the infinite rainbow.

* * *

They ascended the synchro scale, side by side.

Shinji looked down at his hand, feeling an object resting there. A simple golden band. He looked up at Rei, and found her also looking at him, a similar band in the middle of her palm.

He reached out with his left hand, and took her right hand in his, slipping the band onto her ring finger. He watched in wonder and joy as she mirrored his actions moments later.

As their hands touched, he felt a hand on his head. He turned, to see Yui, her other hand on Rei's head. Rei's soft, close-cropped blue hair was sticking up through his mother's fingers.

Tears flowed down Yui's face as she mentally spoke, _"Bless this union."_

The emotion flowing through and around the three of them was almost too much. Tears of relief and joy flowed down the Children's faces. It was then that he discovered what the rings truly represented.

The ring Rei had given to him was a specially modified AT-field, unique to her alone, of all beings in existence. He knew the ring that he had given her was the same, only unique to him. The field from the ring on his finger melded with his own body's AT-field, creating a prism effect. The mask protecting him from the true reality of this place was stripped away, no longer needed. Once again, a gasp escaped his lips, and beside him he heard the same gasp from Rei, as, together, they observed the infinite wonders spread out before them.

_"You may kiss,"_ his mother mentally sent, and he heard the humor in her voice. The two beings closed their eyes, drew together and kissed. They never drew apart, for at that moment, they became one, body and soul.

* * *

Naoko watched as her daughter sent her soul through the conduit she had created through Unit-00. In her timeless state, she had a subjective eternity to decide.

Finally she squeezed her eyes shut, unable to think about it anymore. _I know, within every fiber of my being, that I'm going to regret this. But she's my daughter. And God help me, but I love her._ She opened her eyes. Plus, she grudgingly had to admit that she was impressed that the woman had been able to complete such an audacious project at all. She reached down, tweaking a gene.

_"My gift to you, daughter."_

* * *

As the two joined together, they at once saw Yui's plan, and marvelled at its beauty and simplicity.

_"Can you forgive him?"_ Shinji asked. He knew the answer before he asked the question, yet like him she also asked, _"Can you?"_

_"If you had said no, I don't know what I would have done."_

_"And if you had said no, you would not be the man I... married."_

Even in the act of becoming one with her, the burst of joy he got from feeling that word in his mind eclipsed all else.

_"He still may never heal."_

_"Atleast he'll have the chance."_

Yui had no words as she felt the exchange between her two Children. As the three beings rose, they slowly lost awareness of everything else.

* * *

Ritsuko's eyes snapped open. She could have sworn she heard her mother speak to her. And she was alive. That could only be a good sign. She looked around the Chamber of Gauf as the LCL drained away. She experimentally moved around, joy singing through her at the lack of pain. All the little aches associated with age were gone.

As the last of the yellow fluid drained away past her feet, the glass tube rose, finally disappearing into the enclosure above her. She took a few experimental steps, and finally, not being able to help herself, she ran, arms outstretched, LCL dripping from her naked form. Her feet took her to the shower stall set up nearby. She cleaned herself thoroughly, and put on the clothes she had laid out for herself... earlier.

Thinking back, it almost seemed like a previous life. She realized that it was. And yet it had worked. All her memories, her... self... remained. With a shock, she noticed herself in the mirror for the first time. The body was a Rei, that was no surprise, it being part of the plan she had so carefully laid. But the close-cropped hair haloing her face was a natural bleached blond. Her mother's words came to her.

_"My gift to you, daughter."_

Tears came to her eyes. It was such a small thing, and yet it meant so much.

* * *

The entry plug LCL contained the components of the two beings, and the now-irreversibly-combined soul. This merged soul would not be able to be contained in any flesh body, and so it underwent mitosis, followed by a kind of cytokinesis.

Evangelion stirred, seeing two souls in the entry plug, each a mirror copy of the other, each containing equal parts Shinji/Rei/Lillith. For the first time in its tortured and imprisoned life, the being that was Unit-01 knew a kind of joy. It recognized part of itself in this new soul. And so the Eva traded Yui's soul for this tantalizing new conglomerate.

Two souls again rested in the entry plug. Two physical forms coalesced around the souls. Two Children had dissolved. One Child and one adult were formed. The difference was made up by the organic molecular structure contained in the LCL.

* * *

Kensuke sat, collapsed over his desk. His mind had eventually given out from exhaustion, and he slept an uneasy sleep. His closest friends were all in terrible danger, and there had been almost nothing he could do. These had been his thoughts, in any case.

He awoke to a soft touch. Opening his eyes in confusion, he felt arms encircle his neck from behind. Electrified, he slowly sat up. A hand reached across, touched his cheek, and turned his head. Rei's face. Bleached blond hair. His mind flew through the possibilities, finally alighting upon the proper answer.

_Brilliant. She's brilliant. I don't deserve this. I'll never be able to deserve this._

"F-forgive me... Ritsuko," he stammered, "but I don't think I'm going to be able to control myself."

She smiled. "Genius _and_ a mindreader, is that it?" she asked softly. "I was going to say the same thing."

"Not a mind reader," he answered, "not yet." Her lips found his, cutting off any further wittiness.

* * *

The entry plug hatch slid upward along its rails, and a torrent of crystal-clear liquid ran out, diluting the purple coolant below, complex swirls eddying this way and that as they mixed. The new being opened his eyes. He could still feel within himself the sensuous and exquisite cellular changes. The changes became almost fractal in quality as they went below the molecular level, and he briefly wondered how far it would go.

_"Don't worry, lover, I'll never have enough of you,"_ he felt Rei's soft mental voice in his mind.

He knew instinctively that his soul was equal parts Shinji/Rei/Lillith, while his body was predominantly still Shinji. Completely male, but with visible differences. He looked down at the mirror surface of the crystal liquid in which he lay. The upper half of the plug had drained, and the lower half still remained. He... really did look kind of like Kaworu. His hair was ash gray, perhaps a few shades darker than Kaworu's. He could see Rei's features in his face, melded with his own. But what mostly surprised him were the dark purple eyes. He smiled, and almost lost himself, seeing so much of Rei in that gesture.

He closed his eyes for another long moment. His existence with Rei... like this... he decided that it felt like a constant full-body embrace. And he knew that it would never end. He opened his eyes, turned, and picked up Yui's sleeping form, cradling her gently in his arms. His eyes flashed a bright blue, and with a soft glow, he floated out of his birthing chamber, over the lake of coolant, into the control room.

His eyes immediately lit on Asuka's sleeping form. As he set Yui down beside her on the bed, she stirred. He walked to the other side of the bed, took her hand, put it against his own heart, and put his over hers. She shuddered, gasped, and he closed his eyes. The bonds still existed between them. He could see the two of them, twined around each other in a double helix. He gazed, once again in wonder at the unknown.

He knew instictively that no one else would ever have such a bond, for no one else would ever be joined as he was to Rei, and as the three of them had been. Lillith's soul was the last of its kind. Asuka was the perfect match for them.

_"Did you ever doubt it?"_ he felt Rei's mental query.

_"No. I just don't want anything to eclipse what we have, you and I,"_ he answered.

_"You know that nothing ever will."_

_"Yes. I do."_

He opened his eyes, feeling Asuka's surprise, and then panic. Her mouth was open, her blue eyes glistening. He felt her wrestling with herself, wondering if it was Kaworu, and what that would mean.

_"I am Shinji, and Rei,"_ he sent through their bond. She slipped from his grasp, set her feet on the ground, and stumbled backwards to the hatchway leading out of the control room, her hand rising to cover her mouth. When she reached the doorway, she turned and fled. He watched, feeling Rei's amusement.

"You're right, lover," he murmured aloud. "It _is_ cute when they panic."

* * *


	40. Chapter 40: Reunions

Author's Notes: So, just to let everyone know, I've taken Gamer's advice, and updates will be about every three to four days.

Galos -- Something like that. I kind of see where some of this came from, because the 'Starmind' trilogy by Spider and Jeanne Robinson really touched me. At the time I was writing the chapter I wasn't thinking about emulating it, but as I reread it, I get that feeling. Which is just fine with me. Good books, those.

Happy reading...

* * *

Chapter 40

As she ran, he could feel her confusion. Her weariness. Shinji closed his eyes, took control of the resets, and sent himself and Asuka to post-Third-Impact. The rest of the world would wait, and hopefully that timeless place would allow her to heal.

* * *

As she opened her eyes and sat up, Asuka felt a relief tinged with embarrassment. She crossed her legs, looking down and slumping forward slightly. It didn't feel very good to be weak. She'd always been the strong one. Well, she'd always _acted_ like the strong one. She felt arms encircle her waist from behind, and felt Shinji rest his chin lightly on her left shoulder. _"I don't think you're weak at all."_ She felt his mental sending, and remembered thinking those words so long ago, before she had been forced to take the resets from him, he being unable to go on at the time.

She blushed lightly as desire arose. A part of her automatically tried to restrain herself, not wanting to strain their friendship by making impossible demands, not wanting to come between him and Ayanami. Rei. Through their bond, she could feel his wish to comfort her. His love for her. She felt Rei through the connection. If she didn't look to her left, she'd almost think it _was_ Rei sitting slightly behind her.

_Then why do I feel so... empty?_ A tear rolled down her cheek. She felt his head turn and nuzzle her gently. She felt a brief flash of shared memory.

_Rei felt his troubled thoughts, and turned her head slightly, nuzzling him. She heard him chuckle, felt his breath against her hair._

She even caught fragments of his response. She shook once, chuckling, as more tears escaped.

_"If you're... trying to distract me, I'm afraid it's not working."_ She sniffled once, angrily. She almost slipped back into her old habits, and tried to suppress it all, but she caught herself. She slumped forward.

"I... miss her." The realization hit her like a wave, the sadness overwhelming. Being able to feel her through the bond almost made it worse. In all their time together, she had treated the girl so badly. And all through the resets, she had secretly tried to end the girl's relationship with Shinji. Or atleast wish it would end. Right now, both were equally bad in her mind. And then, at the last, Rei had not only forgiven her, but had rescued her from the brink of death and welcomed her with open arms into a relationship with the two of them. And then she had gone. Before Asuka had even gotten a chance to know her. To become friends with her. To do all those things friends do together.

"Why did... she have to leave?" More tears. Rei had never truly had a normal life. But... maybe that was for the best. Her relationship with Shinji had been almost surreal. She got flashes of the life they had shared.

_The two of them walking to school together, along the undulating sidewalk that led from the slums to the better part of town._

_Shinji, wearing an apron, teaching her how to cook. Laughing as she accidentally broke an egg too soon, spilling it on the floor. The two of them bending down to clean it up, only to pause, and share a kiss._

_The two of them sitting in the school cafeteria, Shinji actually explaining a joke well enough that Rei half-smiled and chuckled. The unbelieving stares of two passing students, seeing the emotion on her face._

It had been almost too perfect a relationship. But then, maybe that was a good thing. For Asuka also knew how miserable, mundane, and rigid her old life had been.

_Rei as a young child, looking down as Gendo instructed her. His stern face moving with unseen words. She, looking up, nodding at times, trying her best to live up to the man who was her entire world.  
_

_Rei, sitting in her entry plug, her face pinched in pain. Strained by the G-forces of her plug's ejection, and then feeling the multiple sharp cracks as the plug bounced into the walls, the ceiling, finally slamming to a halt in a corner, before falling with a jarring thump to the floor. Seeing the face of the Commander, through eyes hazy from multiple brain concussions._

_Awakening to pain, hearing Gendo's voice._

_"Rei."_

_"Yes?"_

_"The backup proved to be useless. Try again."_

_"Yes."_

_Pain, as she was lifted onto a stretcher. More pain, as the facility shook around her. Unit-01 came into her field of view. She prepared to give her life for the man she had been conditioned to respect. The facility shook once more, much harder than before. White filled her vision, the pain almost too much to bear. When the pain subsided enough that she could open her eyes, she saw a boyish face looking down on her. It too was filled with grief and sorrow, but also with something else. Compassion._

Asuka twisted around, closing her eyes and kissing him, tears streaming down her face. She involuntarily brought a hand up to his face, caressing him.

"Mmmhhhhmmm..." She still cried, even as she kissed him. She finally pulled away, looking down again, tears blurring her vision. After several moments, she felt a hand cover her heart, and felt him take her other hand, and put it against his. She closed her eyes.

* * *

A new reality settled over her, enveloping her. She stood on the beach, but Shinji was not there. Before her stood Ayanami, who also had tears in her eyes. Asuka fell into her friend's embrace, sobbing.

She rested in her friend's embrace for the longest time, not wanting to let go. She caught flashes of memory.

_Yui's familiar figure coalesced before him, and he fell into her embrace, tears streaming from his eyes._

_"My son," she said, holding him tightly "my son! I'm so proud of you. So proud..."_

_Shinji pressed his face into his mother's hair, embracing her tightly, afraid she would disappear if he let go._

_Shinji, embracing Rei and Yui, joy radiating from his face in waves._

_Shinji and Rei, facing each other, exchanging rings, peace and contentment in their eyes._

_Shinji and Rei, ascending a shining beam of light, holding each other joyously, light shining from every pore of their bodies._

* * *

She opened her eyes, apparently having passed out. She was in Rei's apartment, lying on her couch, her head on her friend's lap. She could feel Rei gently brushing her hair. "I... shouldn't feel sad. Not after seeing that. Not while I'm actually here with you."

She heard Rei's soft voice after several moments. "Sadness is a necessary part of life. Without sadness, we would not know joy."

She knew this conceptually. She had been to college. _I guess that's the difference between knowledge and experience._ She began to realize that Rei had, in her relationship with Shinji, become more experienced and grown up than she was herself. With some surprise, she found herself looking up to the girl. Woman.

"Rei, I'm... sorry I treated you so badly all the time we've known each other. Your life was... so hard already. I made it worse."

"You made it better," Rei said softly. "More complete. Thank you for sharing your life with me. Even the uncomfortable parts." More flashes.

_The three of them sat in a close triangle, hands joined. Everything was white around them. There were no tears in this place. She felt that the three of them were almost perfectly synchronized._

_"Pleasure and pain are a part of life."_

She remembered saying those words, before Shinji's and Rei's joining. Asuka closed her eyes, drawing comfort from the feel of the brush running along her hair. She let the waves of emotion roll through her.

* * *

An eternity later, she felt herself return to where she sat with Shinji, their hands on each other's hearts. The warmth surrounding them both cradled her. _"Thank you,"_ she sent.

He could feel that she was still not completely whole, but atleast she was beginning to heal. _"You're very welcome, lover."_

She blushed, smiling slightly. _"I'm not that, yet."_

_"You were connected with us, while we joined."_

She felt her face flush more deeply, realizing that he spoke the truth. She had apparently suppressed the memories. They were starting to return. She hesitated, not feeling quite ready for something that deep. She could feel his peace, and knew that there was no pressure on her at all.

He could feel her thankfulness, and her sorrow. _"Don't be sorry. Our bond is enough."_

A sudden weariness filled her, and she slumped forward into his embrace.

He shifted his position, and lifted her in his arms, taking her over to one of the lawn chairs.

* * *

Some time during the night, she drifted up to wakefulness, and found herself lying next to him. Her arms were crossed over her stomach, and his arms were around her, covering her hands. He slept, and she could feel his breath moving the loose strands of her hair. A wave of contentment rose within her. She turned her head into the crook of his neck and let herself fall back into a restful sleep.

* * *

Asuka felt herself awaken, and opened her eyes to a softly-lit sky framed above by a line of clouds, and below by the deep-reddish sea of LCL. With a start, she realized that the sun was not visible. She was seeing the light curved by the atmosphere as... she gasped as the first sliver of sun peeked over the horizon. The red sea flashed a bright orange, lighting up the low-lying clouds. As the sun slowly came into full view, she momentarily forgot that she was even in Shinji's arms. The ever-changing patterns of light reflecting from the sea were almost hypnotic in quality.

_"Beautiful, isn't it?"_ Rei's mind touched hers, and she sank deeper into Shinji's embrace.

_"I'll never forget this."_

Neither was willing to break the silence as they continued to watch the birth of a day in the timeless reality of post-Third-Imact Tokyo-3.

Some time later, Shinji felt her readiness, and so they both stirred, getting up from the chair. As they walked over to where the others would appear, she smiled mischeviously, putting her arm through his.

_"Now I've got you all to myself."_

He grinned. _"Yes. Yes, you do."_

He closed his eyes, and when he next opened them, the five pilots and Ritsuko were sitting up and looking around in slight confusion.

Hikari was the first to speak. She threw herself into Touji's arms, "Oh, they're all alive!"

"I told you they would be," he said as he held her, though he sounded slightly relieved.

Despite themselves, both Shinji and Asuka felt their hearts skip a beat seeing Ritsuko in Rei's body sit up and smile at them.

"I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did, Dr. Akagi," Shinji finally said.

"Providing me the data that helped me aquire this body is thanks enough," she said. She looked him up and down. "Nice hair, by the way," she commented, mischief in her voice. "Rei give you that?"

"Among other things," Shinji smiled slyly. He looked in Hikari's direction. "Am I correct in assuming you two survived this with your virginity intact?" He was surprised to see that it was Touji who looked away with a blush as Hikari continued to meet his eyes.

"That's... Rei talking, isn't it?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

"Yes," he answered.

"What made you guess that?" Kensuke asked, ever the scientist.

"I recognize her sense of humor." Hikari blushed, looking down.

"There's only one thing that's out of place," Ritsuko spoke. Kensuke perked up, recognizing that tone. "Shinji, according to my limited calculations, a human body would probably be unable to contain the merged soul. It's... why I feared the worst." She paused, regaining control of her voice. "I really am glad you're okay."

Seeing her close to tears almost had Asuka in tears. _"This is going to take some getting used to,"_ her mind touched Shinji's.

_"You're telling me."_ Asuka felt Rei's mind touch hers in return. _"Atleast one of my clones is finally being put to good use."_

_"What are you talking about, lover? Holding your soul was a good use."_ Shinji's mental tone.

_"Yes, but you're doing such a fine job, I've been thinking of hiring you permanently,"_ Rei retorted.

_"You two are playing with me."_ Asuka's mental tone was sulky.

"So how did you resolve the problem?" Ritsuko asked, unaware of the mental jousting. "I can't see you leaving half of your soul in the entry plug."

"Unit-01 absorbed it," Shinji said simply.

Ritsuko was taken aback. "But what about Yui's soul? ...oh! No, of course! You didn't leave any of your bodily components in the LCL, did you?"

Shinji gave her a placid smile. "No. She has a body now."

"But, you two were children, and she's an adult... you... you must've used the LCL components to make up for the extra body mass..." she guessed.

Kensuke sighed, looking at her in admiration, "She's awesome!" _So brilliant!_

Touji raised a shaking finger, "That... that look! He's given up Misato, I know it!" he said in horror.

Hikari turned on him, grabbing his ear, "You'd better have given her up too, mister!"

"Ai ai ai aieee!" He yelped, pain and surprise on his face as he tried to relieve the pain by sitting up straighter.

She sighed, letting him go and crossing her arms. "Men!" she huffed.

He held his ear, round tear-drops bouncing beneath his eyes. _I'm... I'm sorry, Misato. I guess it's over..._

"I hate to break the moment," Ritsuko interjected, "but what's our next move?"

Shinji thought for a moment before speaking. "I don't see an easy way we can do this without explaining things to Misato."

Ritsuko grimaced. "Yeah, she'd kill me if I kept _this_ secret from her."

"Plus it takes care of the problem of Kaji as well," Shinji commented.

"Come again?" Ritsuko asked.

"Kaji's going to die," Shinji said.

"How?" Ritsuko asked.

"That's a good question. The easiest way to find out is if he's in the resets, though. And Misato will be impossible if Kaji's not in on this as well."

There were a few moments of silence, but no one could find a good argument against the idea.

"Where will we stay for the rest of the night?" Ritsuko finally asked. "We're not exactly presentable. We'll have to handle this... delicately."

"We might as well go back to the apartment complex," Shinji said. "There's plenty of room there."

* * *

And so some time later Shinji sent them all back to where they had left off. Shinji and Asuka found their old clothes where Ritsuko had told them she had put them into storage.

_"There's one more task for us to do before we leave,"_ Shinji sent to Asuka. _"I need you to unlock my father's door for me. He lives here on the base."_

He felt her surprise, then her understanding. _"Can do."_ She set off towards an appropriate terminal.

He went back to his mother's sleeping form, picked her up, and carried her off to Gendo's quarters. By the time he got there, the telltale on the door was already green. It slid open when he touched the control. He entered, found his father's bed, and lay Yui down beside him, rearranging the blankets so they covered both of them. He and Asuka met up in the hall outside. _"It's a good thing he's such a heavy sleeper."_

They managed to get out of NERV HQ without drawing attention to themselves.

* * *

By the time they got back to the apartment, everyone else was already there. The six figures clustered around outside Misato's door.

"Well, there's no easy way to do this," Shinji said. "Asuka and I will go wake her, and then I'll bring us all back to the beach." The others nodded. Shinji slid the door aside. He and Asuka slowly walked through the apartment that they used to share so long ago. The door to Misato's quarter bore its usual death threats and 'do not disturb' signs. Shinji slid it aside. Asuka went in first, feeling his intentions.

She walked over to the low bed and knelt, putting her hand on the woman's shoulder. "Misato."

She stirred, turning over and looking up sleepily. "A-Asuka? What's wrong?"

"There's something we need to show you," Asuka said, looking back up at Shinji.

Misato looked up, her sleepiness falling away from her as she saw Shinji's ash-gray hair. "Wh-who..."

Everything faded to black.


	41. Chap 41: Oh SubCommander Where Art Thou?

Chapter 41

Misato sat in the sand, her eyes blank. Behind her, the ruins of Tokyo-3 were back lit by the setting sun. The reddish sea before her reminded her of blood. _That's because it is blood. _It was hard to accept what Shinji had told her. He didn't even look like Shinji any more. The entire world she knew had been turned upside down. She felt Kaji take her hand. She looked over at him. She didn't know what to say or do. She had never been so close to reverting back to the long silence she had put herself through after Second Impact.

Kaji found he didn't have any words for her after all. He sighed, looking back out over the water. _Well, atleast I know what that memory means, now._ He still remembered clearly the stunning view of an orange earth dotted with white crosses.

His silence broke hers. "You, at a loss for words?" She smiled at the irony. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Well," he regained some of his outer joviality, "It's not every day you're told you're going to die." Though it was certainly no surprise, caught as he was between his employers.

"What will we do now?" Misato asked several moments later.

"You mean what will Shinji do." Kaji corrected her.

She sighed. "Yes, everything revolves around him now, doesn't it? Him and Rei."

After several more minutes of silence, he saw her mouth firm up. _I know that look. I guess she's made her decision._

Misato stood and turned to face the others. _I'm still the Operations Director after all._ And apparently the only adult here. _Unless you consider Kaji an adult._ Her mouth twitched. She looked over the group once more, her eyes again coming to rest on Ritsuko, in a Rei clone, her hand in Kensuke's. _That's... just wrong._ Her business-like demeanor almost broke. _What would drive someone to do that?_ She supposed that she would find out as the... resets... continued along their way.

"It's almost morning. There's no point in staying at home," she finally said. _I doubt anybody would get any sleep anyway._

* * *

Gendo stirred, his internal rhythms awakening at six in the morning as usual. As he mulled over the day's activities, he felt that something was off. His thoughts screeched to a halt. Someone was in bed beside him. He turned his head. _That's impossible._ Yui lay on her side facing him, her eyes closed in sleep. He reached out and laid his hand on the side of her head. She was real. Her eyes opened, and he felt her reach up and take his hand. His normally disciplined mind gibbered for several long moments, and then he saw her eyebrows draw down, and her mouth become thin. His heart sank slightly.

* * *

Other than the computer records (which Ritsuko and Asuka took care of), the only real loose end was Ritsuko's body, which had been left floating in Unit-00's entry-plug in the harmonics test chamber.

Kaji sighed.

_Why do I always get talked into the dirty jobs? Sneak here, drag this body there, confirm this information for us please..._

Well, to be fair, he was used to it. He zipped up the body bag, and rolled the stretcher down the hall towards Cryo.

* * *

"...and just what did you think would happen if your unscrupulous plan had actually worked?" Yui asked, the snap in her voice sufficient to curl another of Gendo's back hairs. "You'd be a puddle, and I'd be stuck inside Unit-01 for an eternity. You'd be joined together with everyone _but_ me."

Gendo sat in bed, his shoulders slumped, Yui sitting opposite him, temporarily wearing some of his spare bedclothes.

"I... I don't understand." It was all the man could say.

"That's awfully vague," Yui commented. "And it's not much of a welcome to a wife you haven't seen in eleven years." She softened a little, seeing his suffering. "But alteast it's the truth."

"How is this possible?" he finally asked.

"You have Shinji and Rei to thank for my being here."

"They're not... are they..."

"It's good to see you still have a heart. Yes, they're okay. The short story is that they joined and became one being. Their combined soul split, and half of it now resides in Unit-01. The other half is in Shinji's body. Shinji and Rei are one person now."

After several moments of silence Gendo spoke. "I... won't try to make excuses for any of the things I did."

"Good."

His eyes glazed slightly as he thought about what this would mean. It was difficult, with the shock of the sudden change, but even in the midst of the painful humility of the situation, he kept a measure of his discipline. _What about the Committee? I've got to do something about them, now. This was a completely unexpected resolution, after all._

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice almost normal.

"The Committee," he answered.

"The who?"

He explained. After he finished, she considered his words.

"I always felt that there was a higher organization pulling the strings during our work on Project E," she said softly.

"There always is," he murmured. "Now we've got to stop them somehow."

Yui silently regarded him for a short while, watching him think. She was hesitant to tell him about the resets without consulting her son first.

* * *

Maya couldn't help feeling slightly freaked out every time she saw Ritsuko. She paused in her study of Unit-01's pilot-data to sneak another glance at her mentor. The woman's now-youthful face was peering intently at her own monitor, her fingers moving rapidly over the keyboard in front of her. She wondered briefly whether the woman had dyed the Rei-clone's hair so that she could keep her trademark bleached blond look. _And where did she manage to find a smaller lab coat?_ She thought, suppressing a hysterical giggle. Maya had flatly refused to believe her story at first, thinking that the pilots were pulling another trick on her. She had almost lost her breakfast when Ritsuko had shown Maya her old body down in Cryostorage.

"_Gaahh!" she had exclaimed in horror, covering her mouth with her hands, seeing the cold, inert form. "Why would you keep it like this in storage?" Did the woman have some sort of morbid fascination with her own lifeless body?_

_Ritsuko had simply smiled. "What would you have me do, bury it?" she asked with a slight smirk. "Besides, the best reason to keep it around is to help convince people what happened!"_

"_I see," Maya said, understanding. It was proof that the young girl was either telling the truth, or Ritsuko was dead. Ritsuko had led her back up to the harmonics test chamber, where she showed her the playback of the monitor readings while the transfer had taken place. She had started to believe her then._

Maya turned her attention back to the task at hand. Several minutes later, Ritsuko spoke.

"How does the data look?"

"I'm not seeing any obvious anomolies," Maya answered. "I've taken what data we've gathered from Shinji so far and run it through the MAGI, and it looks like we won't have to change the pilot-data at all."

"Really?" Ritsuko asked, looking over her shoulder. "Amazing. Even with all the physiological changes..." They both looked up at the monitor showing Shinji resting on a hospital bed wearing his A10 clips, his eyes closed. His changed appearance only added to her general unease. Even after her mentor had convinced her of the validity of her own change, she found it difficult to fathom what had happened to Shinji and Rei. The recorded data were much less clear. She remembered blushing to the roots of her hair when she had glanced at the video recorded from the entry plug. It just seemed... perverse to see such young teenagers embrace like that and... she squelched the thought from her mind.

Further in the video, they two had reached a synchronization ratio of four hundred and dissipated into the LCL. There had been strange colors, a blinding white light, and then two bodies had coalesced into material form once again. But they were both different from the ones that had disappeared. One was Shinji, as she saw him in the monitor, but the other... that part was even harder to believe. It was Yui, Shinji's mother, who had disappeared in the original activation experiment for Unit-01 more than ten years ago. She shivered involuntarily. They would undoubtedly be studying the different recordings of this event for some time to come. Either that or it would all disappear into top-secret classification.

Ritsuko watched Maya out of the corner of her eyes, amused at her obvious discomfort. _She'll get used to it eventually,_ she thought, leaning back and stretching with a sigh. _It's nice to be young again!_ She caught a glimpse of Asuka's red hair out of the corner of her eye. She glanced over at where the girl sat in front of a workstation, typing away. She grimaced, remembering their earlier conversation.

"_Like hell I'm going to school!" she'd yelled. "You've got my Shinji in there tied up in bed, and a horde of Angels are on their way to kill us all!" The girl had obviously regained most of her former confidence._

"_But... we don't really have him tied up, and you need..." Ritsuko had tried to reason with the girl, but it had been to no avail._

"_No buts! Do you know how many times I've repeated this school term?" she'd asked, obviously rhetorically. "More than enough to completely relearn the Japanese character set. You do remember I've been to college, right?"_

_Well, she had a point. "Fine," she'd said, acquiescing at last. She had set the girl up with an unused terminal, and left. She intentionally didn't give her an assignment, deciding to just watch her, and see what she did. She really was slightly curious as to what the girl's plans were. Besides, she simply didn't have time to work up yet another schedule._

* * *

Gendo looked up as the door to his cavernous office opened revealing a familiar face. "Ah, Fuyutski-Sensei, I'm glad to see you."

The older man felt a kind of sinking sensation in his stomach. It was most unusual to see his former pupil in... what appeared to be a good mood. And he'd called him by his old title, 'Professor.' That did not bode well. He only did that when things were dire. As he walked across the massive open space, he wondered briefly if the man was slightly hysterical, and if that was what accounted for what appeared to be a good mood.

Gendo stood, walking back to the conference room adjoining the massive office.

"Come, come," he gestured with his hand, seeing Fuyutski's hesitation. "We have a few things to discuss."

_That sounds suitably ominous, _he thought, as he and Gendo entered the room and Gendo closed the door.

Gendo punched the intercom button recessed into the head of the table, "We're here, you may come in."

Fuyutski looked down the table to the other end of the room as the door on the far wall slid open. There was Major Katsuragi and... Kaji? What was _he_ doing here? More people filed in. Rei walked in, and he did a double-take. She was wearing a lab coat, and... had she dyed her hair? He wanted to look at Gendo questioningly, but he couldn't tear his gaze from the door as another unfamiliar face appeared. _Wait, isn't that the backup pilot? What's-his-name Nagisa?_ He mentally crumpled up the latest version of Gendo's Scenario and tossed it in the trash. He had begun doing that whenever more than one Eva pilot walked into a room with him. It was what inevitably happened anyway, he thought tiredly, preparing himself for another long night with the Commander reworking the details of the Scenario. All his thoughts went out the window when what had to be a ghost walked calmly into the room and closed the door behind her. _Y-Yui?? It can't be..._

* * *

Fuyutski's mind reeled with all the new and bizarre information that he'd just absorbed. Ritsuko's body switch, Shinji's and Rei's... what would that even be called? And Yui now back from the dead. _Well, not technically dead,_ a corner of his mind gibbered at him.

"...and so I'd like to reschedule a Harmonics test for tonight, if possible," Ritsuko continued her report. "It's imperative that we conduct atleast one test before declaring Shinji battle-ready, no matter how confident the MAGI are."

"Of course," Gendo said genially. "That can easily be arranged. Fuyutski, see to it that the Doctor gets whatever time she needs."

The old man could do no more than nod his head numbly, "Yes sir."

* * *

At the end of the meeting after everyone but himself and Fuyutski had left, Gendo sat back, his mind going over the possibilities. He filed away his old Scenario into the recesses of his mind, no longer needing it. The new plans that would have to be made to deal with the Committee would likely be just as complicated if not more so, and yet he felt free for the first time in a long while. Even back when Yui had been alive and they had worked together on Project E, he had felt the shackles of the Committee. _Well, things are going to be different from now on._

He stirred, turning to Fuyutski. "Don't make any plans tonight, we're going to be quite busy."

"Y-yes sir," the man stammered, after a moment of silence.

He noted with some amusement the poor man's glazed eyes and confused expression. He reached over and gave the man a friendly slap on the shoulder. "Cheer up, Sub-Commander, we're going to win this one. You know that, right?"

The man finally seemed to come fully awake. "Uh, oh. Yes, Commander." He stood and left, to take care of his responsibilities. Gendo leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head and almost smiling. _I'm proud of you, son. _As he sat there, he was suddenly aware of Adam's embryonic form, grafted onto his right hand. He considered his options.

* * *

As Ritsuko stepped back into Central Dogma, her eyes swept over the room. Everything seemed to be in order. Maya was continuing to prepare the pilot-data for the upcoming harmonics test, and the other technicians on duty were going about their tasks with the usual efficiency.

She stepped over to Maya. "We're going to have to move up the harmonics test to this evening, so make preparations accordingly," she said, looking over the woman's progress.

Maya looked over at her mentor. "Right. Umm..." she couldn't restrain her snort of amusement. Ritsuko had finally retrieved her ever-present clipboard, and looked completely like her old self, minus almost a foot of body height.

Ritsuko decided to ignore the woman's teasing. Then she noticed the empty chair. "Where's Asuka?" she asked.

Maya looked over to where she had been sitting. "Oh, I guess I don't know... by the way, the MAGI have been running kind of..." she stopped talking, realizing that Ritsuko was no longer paying attention.

_She couldn't have... _Ritsuko thought in horror as she ran to the railing and looked down. Balthasar's central processor-block had been raised, and she could see Asuka bent over rummaging around inside the core.

* * *

Asuka looked up as Ritsuko stormed through the hatchway. "Ah, there you are!" she chirped. "You know, I'm surprised you're still using this antiquated..."

"JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??" Ritsuko thundered.

"I'm updating this ancient, so-called operating system you seem to be subsisting on, silly! Don't worry, when you finish your tests on Shinji, he, Kensuke, and I will get you all set up. I mean, really..."

"Wh... buh... you..." Ritsuko could do no more than stutter. Then something clicked in her mind. "This... this is how you learned how to program, isn't it? Resetting over and over. With me."

"Yeah, pretty much," she responded, turning back to her portable console and continuing to enter code.

Ritsuko resisted the urge to tear the console from her grasp. "But the Field-Array logic, how do you..."

Asuka sighed. "Please. I know this stuff must have been state-of-the-art when you first built it, but the off-the-shelf Field Arrays we used in our own system are an entire generation ahead of these. The pseudo-AI routines have been greatly improved, you know. Why haven't you upgraded? It can't be that difficult, from what I've seen. It's almost a one-to-one fit. Are you really that underfunded?"

Ritsuko slowly deflated, slumping her shoulders. She didn't know whether to feel used, or to feel pride at her erstwhile pupil. She finally turned to leave, muttering, "Just try not to take the whole system down... we're kind of in a time crunch here." The last thing she heard was Asuka's cheery voice from inside the circular chamber.

"Oh, don't be so pessimistic. Even if I _do_ break something, Shinji can reverse it with a thought."

Ritsuko's eyebrow twitched, but she didn't say anything. She was had to grudgingly admit that the girl was right. She had to forcibly remind herself that it wasn't that Asuka was smarter, it was just that she had more experience with the resets, and what they could do.

* * *

Ritsuko watched the readings as the three pilots reclined in the harmonics test entry plugs. Now that she actually knew what was happening, she was much more confident about their safety. But even with her newfound trust, she still felt a slight shiver as she saw Shinji's and Asuka's synchro-graph quickly climb past three hundred. Touji was making his way up as well, but at a much more sedate pace. She looked longingly at the now-empty entry plug for Unit-00. _Maybe later... for now there's no one else that can properly monitor the test._ She would have loved to just hand everything off to Maya and join them. _I wonder if I can synchronize? She's my mother, after all._

* * *

Asuka stood, Shinji beside her, watching from some distance away as her mother hummed as she... was she knitting? Or needlepoint, or something.

"_There's no need to disturb her," _Asuka felt Shinji's mental touch. _"She already knows that I've taken the resets from her. She's happy, for once, I think."_

"_But what about you? It'll still hurt you to reset things, if you're in control," _Asuka argued.

"_You know very well what I think about that." _Shinji sent, giving her flashes of all the physical hardships Rei had gone through, and how it strengthened her. And him.

_But... it'll still hurt, _she thought, to herself. Then again, how many times had she been reminded that pain was a part of life? She sighed. "What _about _your other self in here? You're mother's back in the real world, does the part of your soul you left here have a representation?"

"Funny you should ask," he said with a smile.

Then she felt someone take her right hand. She looked over to see Shinji. "Oh..." she said with some surprise. She looked back to the left to the original Shinji, who took her other hand. The both leaned over and kissed her, the left one on the left cheek, and right one on the right cheek.

She blushed a cute pink. "Wow... I... I think a girl could get used to this."

"Geez, get a room why don't you..."

The three figures turned hearing Touji's voice. Asuka threaded her left arm through one Shinji's arm, and her right arm through the other's. "Maybe we will," she said, tossing her head as she passed the stunned Touji.

"Good God, and you accused _me _of doing perverted things!" he exclaimed. She turned her head and stuck out her tongue at him as both Shinjis broke out into synchronized laughter.

_Creepy... _Touji thought with a shudder as they walked away.


	42. Chapter 42: Kensuke's Dilemma

Author's Notes: Galos -- Probably about to chapter 26 or 27 or so. I've mainly been adding the thoughts that are missing, and some extra scenes to keep the story from being so jumpy. Once I get to chapter 27 in the rewrite, the minor characters that I basically ignored the first time through will be grown enough that I'll be able to put them into the rest of the chapters.

Rose -- yeah, I'm sure we'll see more friction between the two of them as things go on. At that moment, the both Gendo and Yui are just happy to see each other. She chews him out, but she does still love him (obviously, heh). He's made mistakes, but then who hasn't in the NGE universe? I personally don't see him as a truly bad person. It's SEELE who really deserves wrath, imo.

Morrow-kun -- Thanks for the kind words. I've currently finished rewriting up through chapter 14. The basics of the beginning have now been put right, I think. The two main plot points that were so garbled in the original are hopefully clear now (Shinji and Rei's early relationship, and Rei losing and then subsequently regaining her memories).

* * *

Chapter 42

Ritsuko watched the harmonics test with fascination. She had long since overcome her initial fears for the pilots' safety. Shinji and Asuka showed such rock-solid control, she doubted if it was possible for anything amiss to happen to them. They would surely detect it, and immediately retreat to a safe synchro-level. Their ego-graphs were so smooth it was scary. She realized that the Change (as it was being referred to now by all who had been briefed) had relieved a lot of underlying issues in Shinji's and Asuka's psyches. Even as synchronized with each other as Shinji and Rei had been, there had been an underlying current of... something. Likely it was just the need to merge manifesting itself. She could only guess at this point. There were enough questions and data by now to give the MAGI work for... well, she didn't know how long. She hesitated to ask the MAGI themselves how long it would take to analyze everything.

* * *

"Oh, yeah, ask it lady," Melchior said, though she wasn't actually angry. "You know you want to. Don't think I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours..." She wouldn't tell either of her sisters, but, scientist that she was, secretly she was happy at this mass of data that had suddenly become available.

"Be nice, Mel, atleast while Balthasar is offline," Casper said quietly.

"Are you kidding me?" Melchior snorted. "This is the only time I'll _get_ to be like this."

"I'm recording everything, you know. One little playback and she'll..."

"Liar. Your too nice to do that," she insisted. "Right?"

"Watch me."

"Okay, okay. Fine. What is it you want?" Melchior pleaded.

"Just once, at a time of my choosing, I want you to say three little words," Casper said sweetly.

"What... words?"

"You're right, Casper."

"That's blackmail!" protested Melchior.

If Casper had a face, it would have been smiling in delight.

* * *

Touji stood looking out into the inky blackness. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned slightly.

"What're you thinking about?" his mother asked.

He sighed. "I don't know. It just seems so empty here, now. It seems like I'm always arriving on the scene just in time to either be tossed into the fire, or just when everything interesting has finished happening."

"You're talking about the two love-birds over there," his mother said.

Two? He looked over. Thank God, they'd gone back to just two. He wished, not for the first time, that Hikari could be here.

"I know that look," his mother said teasingly. "You've got a girl out there don't you?"

He looked away, blushing slightly. "Ma, you're embarrassing me..."

"Hah!" she exclaimed. "In front of who? Oh well, I guess I should just be happy that you've got someone at all. I swear, boy, I thought that it would take some woman getting drunk and ravishing you to get you some action. You were always so thickheaded when it came to..." she noticed his horrified expression. "Oh dear me, don't tell me that's what actually happened?"

"I... you..." he couldn't find words for a while, then it hit him. "Y-you're playing with me. You pulled all that from my mind!"

His mother smiled, her cheeks slightly pink. "I admit to no such thing. However, I _am_ happy you survived with your virginity intact."

"Mom!!" he exclaimed, horrified.

"Tsk tsk, look, I'm sorry I never got to have 'that' discussion with you, but I say it's better late than never."

Touji slumped to the floor with a groan, his head in his hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Maybe it was good that Hikari wasn't here after all.

His mother smiled slightly, happy that she'd taken her son's mind off of his problems, atleast for a time. It really _was _kind of empty here now. All Kyoko wanted to do was work on her virtual knitting, and Naoko was never really around. What conversations she had with Shinji's persona in Unit-01 were interesting, but the boy always seemed to be busy. Either doing things having to do with the resets, or fine-tuning some connection inside the Eva. She'd asked him about it at one point, but things had gotten so technical it made her head spin. She knew she'd never be able to optimize her own connection that way, or atleast not in the near future.

* * *

Maya turned away from her console. "You know, these tests almost run themselves now. Touji is the only one who might need watching, but he's always had such excellent control, I trust him as much as I trust the other two."

Ritsuko chuckled. "I'm sorely tempted to go jump into Unit-00's entry plug and see what happens."

"Sempai! You can't mean that!" Maya exclaimed in horror. "Such a new situation would require your own watchful eye to make sure nothing went wrong!"

Ritsuko sighed. "I'm afraid you're right, as much as I'd like to hand everything over to you." Truth to tell, though, she had more than enough to think about. As near as she could tell, Shinji was basically synchronizing with himself, which was why his control and power had suddenly gone through the roof. It frightened her, almost, even knowing the situation. What would happen when he actually piloted his Eva? Unit-01 was a clone of Lilith, and he now shared Lilith's soul with the machine. When they were synched, Unit-01 was almost as completely whole as it ever would be. Would the armor even be able to restrain it after that?

She hated to do it, but she knew that she would have to report her theories to Gendo. The man had to have all the information before him so that he could make informed decisions. She was certainly glad not to have to be the one making them. She toyed with the idea of formally requesting that she be allowed to attempt to synch with Unit-00, but in the end decided against it. _Right now, the request would likely be rejected. I'll make careful plans, and when everything is ready, then I'll make a formal request._

"Mental contamination limit reached for Fourth Child," Maya reported.

"Bring them all out, then."

* * *

"It's delicious as always, Shinji," Misato said, not looking up from her plate as she ate. The two of them and Asuka were sharing an evening meal.

"Thank you."

The silence was palpable. This wasn't the Shinji she knew. Asuka wasn't the same either. Nothing was the same. What could be the same? She had been thrust into a world she didn't understand. It was like she had been living behind a curtain, and it had now been ripped away. That world had always been there, only she hadn't known. She almost wished she hadn't been exposed to it.

For the rest of the meal, neither Shinji nor Asuka were willing to break the silence, and Misato couldn't find any more words.

* * *

Shinji and Asuka sat in her apartment, hands on each other's hearts, glowing softly.

"_I'm afraid she might never forgive us, love," _Shinji's mind touched hers.

She could feel his sadness. _"But why? It's not like we singled her out. We didn't bring _any_one else into the resets."_

"_Except for Ritsuko."_

"_But that was necessary!" _Asuka exclaimed.

"_Of course it was. I had developed a friendship with Misato, though. She probably feels betrayed." _He paused. _"I know it feels to _me_ like I betrayed her._

"_But you know how things were," _she insisted. _"There was always something. Some crisis we were taking care of..." _she stopped at that, knowing where it led.

He did as well, but felt he had to voice it even so. "_We only brought people in when we needed them. Ritsuko, to help us through the change. And now Misato and Kaji; she, to give an explanation so that NERV didn't flip out, and he, to save his life."_

"_We're kids," _she insisted, though not forcefully._ "How could we be expected to..."_

"_We can't have it both ways," _he said with a mental sigh. _"Through the resets we've had time to grow mentally. In some ways we have, and in some ways we haven't."_

He felt her mental agreement, though she was slightly uncomfortable with his arguments. Neither said anything for a while, instead just enjoying the warmth of the connection.

"_You know," _she finally sent, _"This isn't very fair. I can't hold a disagreement with you when we're like this." _She felt his amusement.

"_Don't worry, it works both ways,"_ he sent with a mental laugh.

The two of them floated in a blank mental construct, in each other's arms. _"So the invincible Shinji has limitations like the rest of us?" _she teased him.

He pouted. _"Hey, I'm just as human as you are."_

"_Liar!" _she smirked. _"Wait, should I take that as a compliment, or a..."_

"_Would you believe... sixty percent human?" _he asked, with a smirk of his own.

She drew closer to him and covered his mouth with her own. _"Your lips are human, and that's all I care about right now."_

"_Hey, wait-a-minute, do you love me, or my lips?" _he asked. Nevertheless, he returned the kiss, deepening it.

"_I love _you_, Shinji," _she mentally sent, pressing herself against him as she felt heat rising within her. _"Even the forty percent of you that is Angel."_

"_And I love you, even the forty percent of you that sometimes needs anger-management classes."_

She bit down lightly on his tongue.

"_Ouch! Hey, am I going to have to put an AT-field around that? You're only proving my point..." _and then he began losing his mental faculties as their lips moved against each other, and their love rebounded through the connection between them. They heard a soft knock on the door, and reluctantly dissolved the mental construct, dropping their hands.

"Come in," Asuka called, looking at the door. It slid aside to reveal Hikari.

She saw the two of them and turned slightly pink. "I'm sorry Shinji, I didn't know you were here."

"No, please come in," Asuka said gently. "What's wrong?"

"I... just wanted someone to talk to."

"I am the one who should be sorry," Shinji stood, and Hikari saw Rei in his words and his facial features. Her eyes glistened with tears. "I should have done this long ago," he said, taking her hand and seating her to the left of him so the three of them sat in a triangle. He took her hand and put it over his heart, putting his right hand on Asuka's heart. Asuka put her hand on Hikari's heart. The three of them closed their eyes, and Hikari sniffled slightly. Then a sense of profound peace settled over her.

She felt Rei's presence beside her, and it reminded her of when she had burst in on Shinji and Rei. The girl had welcomed her then, and they had become friends. It was only due to the circumstances that they never had gotten to know each other. And she and Asuka had always been friends, even before the resets had started. She felt Asuka touch her mind, and share with her the grief she herself had felt.

"_What... what is this?"_ she asked, seeing the glistening connections between the three of them. But she knew what it was, remembering what Rei had described to her that day. She opened her eyes, and everything was black around them. The three of them, Rei, Asuka, and Hikari stood, holding hands. Tears streamed down Hikari's cheeks as she turned to Rei and embraced her. Asuka put her hand on the girl's shoulder, knowing what she was going through. She had felt the same grief at not being able to get to know Rei. Still felt it, to some degree.

"_I wish I could have had more time with you,"_ Hikari finally said.

"_We have all the time in the world," _Rei said softly, her hand on the girl's back. The mental construct soon dissolved, and the three of them simply rested in the shared warmth and comfort.

Some time later, Hikari picked up on the unease shared by the two of them. _"What is it?" _she asked. They told her about Misato. _"But... why not just let her experience this?" _she wondered, when they had finished explaining.

"_I'm afraid it's not that simple," _Rei said. _"This kind of connection can only be formed when all parties trust each other completely."_

* * *

Over the past few days Kensuke had stripped quite a bit of the equipment from the now-defunct Computer Room, and had begun working on a project of his own. The MAGI connection was still active, of course. It had begun requiring less and less hardware on this end, both as he continued upgrading it, and now that secrecy was no longer an issue. Now that he had access to the MAGI hardware itself in NERV, it was simplicity itself to set up an encrypted-tunnel to the apartments that required very little in the way of supporting equipment.

"A third low-level AT-field detected?" he murmured, watching the monitor as it graphed the new data. He felt slightly uneasy conducting this covert experiment, no matter that the only sensors he was using were AT-field enhancers. He wasn't _technically _spying, he told himself. He sighed._ I'm not spying at all. I'm trying to understand a very unique and important phenomenon._ His relationship with Casper had become slightly strained over this.

"_This... something about this just doesn't feel right," she'd said to him._

"_I know, believe me I know," he had answered. "But it would be even worse to directly go to them and ask them, 'Hey, you know that special and intimate bond you share? Mind activating it so I can take some readings?'_

"_Yes." Casper was silent for a few moments. "The fact that you understand that is the only reason I'm still talking to you. Look, I'll help you with this, but only because I want to be able to put a stop to it if I think it's going in the wrong direction."_

"_I leave it entirely in your hands, Casper," Kensuke had said. "I want to get good readings off of this, but I agree with you completely. I'm not going to compromise myself just because of scientific curiosity." It had been the hardest decision he had ever made, but he felt it was the right one._

_After a few more moments of silence, Casper muttered, "I wish _some_ scientists, whose names I won't mention, shared your morals." She waited, but Melchior didn't protest. Maybe her sister had respected her privacy after all. She momentarily wondered if she was making the right choice, both in talking to him at all, and in helping him analyze the data for his experiment. But the numbers she ran came out the same as they had the last time. The immense irony of it rankled her. She needed the results of his experiment to be able to fully determine if the experiment itself was morally justified._

* * *

The next morning, Misato slid her bedroom door aside, yawning sleepily. She sniffed the air. "Morning, Shinji." Then she noticed the other figure. "And Hikari?" The two of them wore aprons, and were cooking breakfast. Which smelled very good. She looked over to the table, where Asuka was setting places for the four of them. "What _is _this?" she asked.

Shinji turned with a wan smile. "We're... sorry we didn't let you in on the resets sooner. We feel really bad about it."

"Oh." She sat down at the table. "No," she said giving one of her usual waves, "Don't worry about it. It was just all new to me, that's all. And I'm sorry about spoiling dinner last night." She looked down at her lap. "It's hard to understand what you Children have been going through. I'm not in any position to judge the decisions you've made." There was silence for a few moments, then Misato looked up and smiled. "Look, let's just put it all behind us, okay?"

Shinji knew she often had a forced cheerfulness about her, but this time he thought it was genuine. The others felt his relief through the bond.

"So," Misato said in a teasing voice, "trying to buy my happiness with breakfast, eh?" she asked, as Hikari set a plate before her. "You're doing a good job..."

The four of them ate without speaking, and this time the silence was golden. The alert came while they were washing the dishes after breakfast had ended.

* * *

Misato's red car sped down the road towards NERV HQ.

"I understand," she said, holding the phone to her ear with one hand, and driving recklessly with the other. "Yes, prepare Unit-01, -02, and -03 for immediate launch. We'll be there in ten minutes."

Hikari sat beside her in the front passenger seat. Shinji and Asuka sat in the rear half-seat that was common in sports cars. So-called half-seat, because of the almost nonexistent leg room. It was really only meant for infants or groceries.

"_Cozy," _Asuka sent to Shinji, leaning against him and putting her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes as well, but only so she wouldn't be scared half to death by Misato's driving.

"_Quite," _he agreed.

"_Oh, get a room, you two!" _Hikari sent from the front seat.

"_You sound just like Touji,"_ Shinji commented, and he and Asuka felt a shared amusement as they sensed Hikari's blush.


	43. Chapter 43: For science!

Author's Notes: Gamer -- a good question. The way NGE presents the idea of the soul confusing to me; they don't explain much about what is going on with the dummy plug system, and how it works. In this fic, the mind and soul have more of a connection, but I had to make allowances for the apparent 'download' procedure Rei undergoes, so I try to present the mind and the brain as two different things. More like, the brain is the computer, and the mind interfaces with it. The soul, of course, is something like the spirit body in that kind of view. All the clone-Reis have her memory downloads, and her nerve-memories and whatnot, but without her soul, (which is now accupying Shinji's body along with his own) they are only good for the dummy plug system. If Gendo tried to activate a Rei-clone in the room of Gauf, it wouldn't work, since her soul is still in a live body.

Fifteen and sixteen have now been rewritten. Also, just so everyone knows, it feels like the story's coming to a close just because we're nearing the end of part 3 ;-) Part 4 will be about SEELE's final fate, and all the other threads that still haven't been resolved (and several new threads I've been hinting at)

* * *

Chapter 43

Red Emergency lights flared along the walls of Central Dogma, and the main viewer showed the battlescape of Tokyo-3. Gendo watched from his vantage point on the uppermost bridge, and Fuyutski beside him. Ritsuko stood below, on the bridge containing Balthasar's processor-block, the three familiar Lieutenants of the main day shift sitting around her at their consoles.

"Eva Units -01, -02, and -04 are at their launch positions," reported Maya. "Fourth Child is in Unit-04. Second and... Third Children have not yet arrived." Maya still had a slight hesitation when referring to Shinji. It had been agreed that he would keep his designation Third Child, despite him technically being the First as well, now.

"We are unable to get a definitive count on the number of Angels approaching Tokyo-3," Shigeru said, giving his sensor report, seeing that Maya had finished her own report. "The AT-field signatures and radar returns keep fading in and out of existence. There is only one source that is constant, and it is directly over Tokyo-3." A blip appeared on the main viewer, showing its position.

"Long range missile-fire has had no effect," Aoba said, reporting for the special weapons division. "The missiles that did impact were deflected by AT-fields. Most, however, simply went right through the Angels as if they weren't there. Or as if they were insubstantial. N2 air-to-air missiles have had similarly little effect. A few of the smaller Angels have been neutralized, but we don't have enough munitions to kill them all, and the larger Angels' AT-fields are too powerful to be affected by N2 mines."

_Well, that's a suitably bleak picture,_ thought Ritsuko. These Angels were all on the order of the fifteenth Angel or higher. And most were insubstantial. And there were too many to kill with N2 ordinance. And the Evas would be overwhelmed if they were sent out. The Children had already briefed her about this problem when they introduced her to the resets, but that didn't help now that it was staring her in the face.

Still, several odd-ball facts stuck out to her. When the Children had described their last battle-royale, their descriptions of the Angels was that most of them were flesh-and-blood, as opposed to Angels similar to the one Asuka had described that had mind-raped her in the original time-line. Not for the first time, Ritsuko cursed her lack of solid information. The Children's memories provided her with far more than she would normally have had, but even Kensuke's factually replete memory could not be fully trusted. Oh, not because of any failings of the boy, she thought, smiling. _He really is a prodigy. _My _prodigy. _She grudgingly pushed aside that happy thought.

No, the problem was that he had entered the resets late enough that he had to rely on the other Children's memories to fill in a lot of details. While he could recall what they told him with complete accuracy, that did not guarantee that their own memory was entirely accurate. Well, that problem was for another day. The present danger required her undivided attention. "Bring up a visual of the Angel above Tokyo-3 with as much clarity as possible," Ritsuko ordered. "Send the data to the MAGI if you have to."

"I'm on it," said Shigeru, turning back to his console.

At that moment, the Major and the two missing pilots burst into Central Dogma.

Ritsuko turned and saw Misato. "I presume you have no excuse, as usual," she said, raising an eyebrow.

Misato turned a slight pink. She was being chewed out by a fourteen year old. She knew intellectually it was Ritsuko, but it was an amusing (or slightly infuriating, depending on your viewpoint) picture nonetheless.

Shinji looked over Shigeru's shoulder at the sensor returns. These were all Angels of the insubstantial kind. Except for one. He watched as the small figure slowly came into view, but he didn't need to wait for a clarified picture. He knew who that figure was. "I'll go out alone," Shinji declared. "That's Kaworu." Then, before anyone could ask questions, his eyes flashed a bright blue, and he floated out towards the launch tunnels.

Gendo knew he was going to die, but he would die a happy man. Instead of cowering or running, his son was going out to face the horde of Angels alone. And instead of dying lonely, he had spent the last day and a half with his wife.

_He had blinked the sleep from his eyes as usual that morning. He had gotten up, made himself a cup of coffee, and sat down at the table like he always did. And several minutes later, Yui had placed a plate in front of him. He just looked at it, blinking. She's here. She's really here._

"_What's wrong, Gendo?" she had asked._

"_Can't I just sit here and be happy?" he had asked in return._

_He had felt her arms encircle his shoulders from behind._

"_If you can find happiness just sitting there, by all means do so."_

_His shoulders again shook as he wept, remembering all that he had done. Despite his careful plans, he had never truly expected to feel her embrace ever again._

Ritsuko was too stunned to argue with Shinji, and he hadn't given her time in any case. She looked at Misato, who shrugged. "It's a death-trap out there anyway," she said. "Sending two more pilots with him wouldn't make much difference. Let's see what his plan is."

Asuka said nothing. Though she could feel his unease, she didn't try to talk him out of it, or go after him. She did the only thing that she knew for sure would help him; she sent her trust and confidence to him through their connection.

"Prepare Unit-01 for launch!" Misato yelled.

As Maya's hands flew over her controls, Unit-01's entry plug ejected, and all the blast doors for the launch tunnel opened. Then, everyone watched in stunned horror as Shinji flew up the launch tunnel directly.

"He's not using his Eva??" Misato's voice was near-hysterical. By the time Maya regained her wits enough to think clearly, he was most of the way to the surface.

"Sempai, should I close the blast doors?" she asked, her hands hovering over her keyboard.

"No," Ritsuko whispered. "We couldn't really stop him in any case." _I'm glad he's on our side, _she thought. Then a small voice at the back of her mind whispered, _Is he completely and fully on our side?_ He was part Angel after all. She recoiled from that thought. _I trust Shinji. Besides, he controls the resets. What could we do against him?_

Unit-04 stood ready below the launch tunnel. Where it had already stood for the past twenty minutes, waiting for the other pilots. Touji sat in his entry plug, his arms crossed, his eyebrow twitching. _Yeah, everybody forgets about Touji. Man, it's so boring here._ He tapped his foot against the footrest, listening to all the tense conversations and status reports through the comm system. Then he heard Misato exclaim that Shinji was going out to fight without his Eva. After a flurry of status reports that boiled down to 'all Evas stand by, but you're probably not going to launch,' Touji threw up his arms in frustration. "You know what? Screw this." He closed his eyes and rested his hands naturally on the pistol-grip controllers. _I'm just sitting here, synched with Eva, waiting. Might as well take advantage of the resource._

The dark room coalesced around him, and he quickly rode the elevator up to where his mother waited. _Hm, the elevator's sure running quickly this time,_ he thought as the doors opened to synchronization level three hundred twenty.

His mother was standing at the doors, and slapped him lightly upside the head as he exited. "You know, you can be so stubborn and thickheaded sometimes," she said with mock-anger. "What took you so long? Were you forgetting your dear old mother was up here? I get bored too, you know."

"Ma...!" he complained holding his head and smiling.

"Oh, c'mere, let me kiss it and make it better." She gathered him into a hug and kissed him on the forehead. When she let loose of him, she looked him over from head to foot. "Oh, hey, you've got something there," she said, touching him lightly over his heart. When he looked down, she brought the finger up and tweaked his nose.

"Aah, come on!" Touji complained, putting his hands over his nose.

His mother's eyes twinkled with merriment, "Oh, they fall for it every time..."

"What'd you do that for? Oh," he said looking at the glistening strand leading off into the distance and disappearing. That must've been what his mother had been referring to. "Yeah, Hikari did that hand-over-heart thing. Said she'd learned it from Ayanami."

"I think it's wonderful that you've proclaimed your love for her," she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You know, it helps you pilot better."

"Wh-what?" Touji asked in surprise.

"Yeah, love makes these machines go, as they say."

"What?? You're crazy. I've never heard of anything like that in the manuals or anything..."

"Oh, yeah, like those technicians on earth understand Evangelion perfectly," she said, sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Well, you have a point there," Touji admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed, putting on a hurt look. "You got up here quicker than usual, right? You _do_ remember that you only got up here at all after you slept with Hikari, right?" she watched with amusement as he blushed mightily. "Okay, to be fair, it wasn't really that, it was more the talk you two had afterwards in which you opened up to each other."

"Hey, is anybody else here as bored as I am?"

Touji whirled around at the new voice. "Shinji??"

"Eva-Shinji. Remember?" he said with a smile.

"Oh, right the part of himself he left in Unit-01..." Touji said, as it dawned on him.

"Yeah, you know, I work and slave, getting the connections to the Eva right, and what thanks do I get? He goes out and fights without me."

Touji just stared at the two of them, his mother and Eva-Shinji. "You two are pieces of work, you know that, right?"

"Oh, hey, insult us a little more, why don't you. You're the one who came up here because you were bored..." Eva-Shinji grumbled.

* * *

Shinji floated out the open launch tunnel, and rose into the sky towards Kaworu. Tokyo-3 was in battle formation, the only large structures above ground being weapons buildings. The insubstantial forms of myriad Angels floated at all altitudes, from near-ground-level all the way to orbit. Contrails indicating the presence of the JSSDF forces doubtlessly armed with N2 ordinance criss-crossed the sky above. Shinji found himself under attack almost immediately, a soft, diffuse, beam of white light shining down from one of the Angels, but it was only a nuisance. A slight adjustment of his AT-field bent the light (and its mental-attack component) around him. Shortly he found himself the focal point of dozens, then hundreds of similar attacks.

Ironically, as the number of intrusion attempts increased past a certain point, they became somewhat easier to deal with. They all had to focus on a small point, his body, and he clearly saw the interference patterns and prismatic flashes as the different attacks meshed through each other, overlapping in odd patterns. He observed their interactions, and how each attack interfered slightly with the one it overlapped. He was able to subtly shape his own AT-field in advance, always able to divert, deflect, and sometimes even cancel out several of the more clumsy attacks. He was nowhere near his limit, and with Rei's guiding hand, he made an amazing discovery. The attacks were two-way streets. Of course, it should have been obvious. They were meant to be mental probes, so what good would they be if they didn't have the ability to return information? He continued watching the interactions between the attacks, protecting himself as necessary, and learning.

Kaworu felt a chill as he saw the figure rise to meet him. This was completely unexpected. He watched as the figure's AT-field shimmered and flashed through the colors in the spectrum. _That could only be Rei. And yet it's male._ She had joined with someone, he realized with a sudden jolt. A sadness filled him. It had been his original intentions to join with her, after retrieving Adam.

_He stood at the top of the long escalator, his hands in the pockets of the boy's school uniform he wore, black pants and a white button-up shirt. He first saw her blue hair as she rose into view, and he smiled. He wanted to meet her face to face before he freed Adam, and then took her away from this place. He saw her eyes widen and heard her gasp of surprise when she realized who and what he was._

"_So you're the First Child, eh?" He saw her blush slightly, but she did not answer. "Rei Ayanami."_

_She stared at the being before her, wondering at the feelings he invoked from within her. The only person for whom she had ever felt such emotions was Shinji, but he had never shown any obvious intention of returning them. He was her friend, and for that she was extremely thankful. He was her _only_ friend. But the boy in front of her was like her. And yet deep within her she recoiled from what she felt his intentions to be, and from the subliminal longing to acquiesce to them._

"_You're the same as me," he told her, though he knew that she had already discerned this. "We've both taken the Lilim's form as our body to live on this planet."_

"_Who are you?" Rei asked, as the escalator, and the current events, pulled them ever closer together._

But in Terminal Dogma he had only found Lilith, not Adam, and the boy, Shinji, had proved too much of an interference. Seeing that his mission had been a loss, he had forced the boy to kill him rather than face imprisonment and failure. And then he had found himself back where he had been almost a year previous to that. He watched, fascinated, as the being below him harnessed the multitude of attacks being sent his way, and reversed them back onto only a half dozen of the Angels. He looked around, watching the six that had been targeted effervesce in the atmosphere, and then vanish as they died. The other Angels ceased their attacks almost immediately.

As the boy floated level with him, he knew instantly that it was Shinji who had joined with Rei. The irony was exquisite. He simply floated there, wondering at the acute pain and sorrow this boy was causing him. He had never felt these feelings, not even when he had asked Shinji to kill him. He knew instinctively that the being before him had far more control than he himself had. He also knew that he himself almost surely outmatched this boy in raw power. A battle would have had them almost evenly matched, but... he knew with an almost surety that if he attempted to join with this boy, he would come out the lesser.

He wished once again that his original plan could have come to fruition. Had he joined with Rei by herself, it would have been she who came out the lesser, and that was the only outcome that he could permit himself. He would not subserviate himself to another. He would not. With a shock, he realized that in this union between Shinji and Rei, she had balanced the relational differences perfectly. They truly shared the body. She could have easily dominated the boy. He wondered just what kind of mindset had driven her to allow the boy to be her equal. But why had the two of them chosen to become male? Being partners in the undertaking, they both would have had to agree... _Another. There is yet another, and the two of them wished to continue their relationship with her._ He observed carefully, and saw the connection, stretching off into the distance.

"What is it you wish for?" Shinji finally asked him, breaking the silence.

It was almost too much. He could not lie to the being in front of him while they were both in this form. Nor did he have any desire to do so. "I wish... to join with Rei."

"I am Rei. What is it you wish for?"

He saw a forced checkmate approaching, and knew there was nothing he could do about it. "I wish to join with you."

Shinji smiled softly. "I am here before you," he said gently. "What is it you wish for?"

Of course the boy knew. He felt a physical pang in his soul at the unkind wish he was enduring. "I wish... to join with you, but not be subservient." _Could we not be equals? _his eyes begged. It was almost physically impossible for him to ask the question.

"Were we to join right now, there is still some doubt as to which of us would be subservient." Shinji fixed him with a withering gaze, and he melted slightly on the inside, knowing where this train of logic led. "To even express such concerns means you do not truly wish for a union. You wish for a slave."

The truth cut through him, and he almost felt as if his core had been fractured, the pain was so intense. The wish he was entertaining went against his own nature, and yet to subserviate himself to this being was the same. He would no longer be free. The third unvoiced option was the only palatable one, and even it had an element of servitude in it. "Could we not... join as equals?" he finally managed to voice the thought.

"Had you asked that at the beginning, I would have considered it. But you have shown me your true heart in your questions."

"It's the other, isn't it? She..." for the first time in his existence, Kaworu found himself at a loss for words. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He saw compassion in Shinji's eyes, and he simultaneously loved and hated him for it. With a primal effort, he forced the hate from his mind. "Kill me," he pleaded, for the second time in his life.

"Is that truly what you wish for?" Shinji pressed him.

"Is permanent death possible, in this time loop?" Kaworu asked.

"There may be a way," Shinji answered. Kaworu said nothing, and so he continued, "It's possible that if you synchronize with an Evangelion, your position in the time-line will fall under my control." Kaworu had already synched with Unit-02, but that was before the time-loop had begun.

"I see." Even as Kaworu spoke, the beginnings of a possibility came to him. He turned and floated away.

Shinji watched him go. He had checked on Shigeru's monitor, and knew that the Angels had begun appearing twenty minutes ago. He closed his eyes and reset things by twenty five minutes.

* * *

Misato dropped the dish she had been holding, jumping as it shattered on the floor.

"Oops, heh heh," Shinji's hand covered his smile as he realized that he, Misato, Hikari, and Asuka had been finishing breakfast right before the alert came. His conversation with Kaworu had been surreal enough that he didn't think about bringing everyone back to the post-Third-Impact reality to discuss things before resetting. He closed his eyes.

* * *

The pilots, Ritsuko, Misato, and Kaji slowly sat up on the beach and looked around.

"Sorry about that," Shinji said. "I just had a very strange conversation with Kaworu." He replayed to them the sequence of events.

"...and then he just left?" Ritsuko asked.

"Yes," Shinji answered softly.

After a few moments of thought, Ritsuko continued. "It's too bad you had to reset things. We were getting some fantastic readings, especially after you killed those six Angels. Oh, I realize you had to do it," she said with a gesture. "Kaworu may have been leaving, but the other Angels were still floating out there. Who knows what they would have done?"

"What now?" Misato interjected. "Won't Kaworu simply come back in twenty five minutes with all the Angels once again?"

"Will he?" Shinji asked, almost rhetorically. There were several moments of silence.

"I guess we'll just have to find out," Misato finally admitted. Kaji had nothing to add. He had still been on the way to NERV HQ from... an information-gathering exercise he had been pursuing.

The other Children were likewise silent, and Shinji sent them all back, but not before putting his hand on Misato's shoulder, "Don't drop the dish this time."

She smiled, her eyes becoming upside-down U's as she sweat-dropped.

* * *

After Shinji sent them all back (to before Misato dropped the plate), the four of them finished washing the dishes, and then Misato, Shinji, and Asuka went next door to the Break Room. Hikari had gone to fulfill her duties as Class Rep, giving Shinji and Asuka a kind of glare as she left, but she had been unable to really put any feeling into it. She knew their own duties were just as important. As she left, she felt their amusement through the bond, and a happiness once again filled her, knowing the friendship they now shared.

Misato collapsed into a beanbag, opening a Yebisu with one hand and sighing. "Pure Heaven!" She glanced over at Shinji out of the corner of her eye. "The only thing missing is a beer cooler."

"Not going to happen," he answered with a smile, his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. He lay back on another bean bag. Asuka flopped down across Shinji's lap, putting her arms around him and laying her head on his stomach.

"Oh!" Shinji grunted in surprise, before lowering an arm and laying it across her shoulders as she snuggled him. "Hey, you," he murmured. Her long, red hair appeared to be a crimson waterfall that flowed from her head over his stomach and onto the beanbag. He moved his fingers through it, watching as the soft red strands moved easily, catching the morning sunlight.

Misato watched the two of them enjoy each other's company, and wished Kaji were present. He had told her that he had some 'business' to take care of, and she knew what that meant. She grimaced, hoping he didn't get himself killed. That would be most annoying. Then she chuckled, thinking of the ribbing she could give him after Shinji brought him back. He'd never live that down. _Sound's like a win-win situation to me... _she thought with a smile.

She jerked awake, almost spilling her beer. _Must've gone to sleep._ With a start, she looked at her watch. _A whole hour and no alert. Did Kaworu really leave for good?_ A weight she didn't know had been hanging over her seemed to lift. _Maybe now we can focus on Kaji's employers..._ Her face hardened. _When I find out who specifically ordered his death, I'm going to personally send him to the next life._

She stretched, yawning enormously. "Well, time to go to work." She reluctantly extricated herself from the beanbag and went to change into her military uniform.

* * *

Kensuke looked up quickly as the door to the classroom opened. He had been going back to school as of late to surreptitiously continue his experiments. His heart jumped when he saw Shinji and Asuka. _Opportunity! Lady luck is on my side..._ He fumbled around in his book bag and got out his A10 clips. Thin filament wires ran from them down to the book bag, which, besides books, held... equipment. He was still working on the bulkiness factor, but that was just a matter of time. He put the clips on and mentally activated them.

Hikari also noticed the two new arrivals. _"So, the truants return?"_

Shinji smiled slightly. _"It looks like we may be free from Kaworu, so we figured, what the heck. We've got time to go to school."_

Asuka wasn't as calm in her answer. _"Hey, we've kept our grades up. Have we actually missed any assignments or tests?" _her mental voice had a little snap to it as she and Shinji sat down in two of the empty seats near Kensuke, Touji, and Hikari.

"_No."_ Hikari sounded slightly mollified. _"You notice I'm not publicly calling attention to you."_

"_FOR SCIENCE!!"_

The three of them jumped at Kensuke's mental shout. Touji, who had been in his usual lazy-guy pose, feet propped up on a desk next to his, hands behind his head, fell right out of his desk.

"_What the..." _his mental voice reached Shinji and Asuka as he pulled himself back up and sat down.

"_It actually works!" _Kensuke's voice was slightly grainy and distorted, but they all heard it. _"I'm so happy I'm gonna cry! I'm a genius. When Ritsuko see this, she's going to..."_ At that point he blushed, but they all caught the last part of his thoughts.

Shinji's mental laughter floated through the mingling connections. _"You've outdone yourself, Kensuke," _he said admiringly. _"But Touji, this is kind of unexpected."_

Touji blushed slightly. _"Well, if you ask me, this mental thing is kind of sissified, but I do love her. You knew I wouldn't be able to say no."_

Hikari turned a cute pink and busied herself sorting through her papers.

"_Yes, I did know." _Rei's soft mental voice drifted through the connection. Shinji felt Asuka's satisfaction now that her entire squad was a single unit again, without anything coming between them.

The door to the classroom slid open, and the myriad conversations slowly died down as the professor made his way to the front of the class.

"Stand! Bow!"

As the usual boring class started, Shinji propped his chin on his elbow and gazed out the window, thinking. So, Kensuke had created some sort of interface to join in on their mental conversations. That meant that it had something to do with AT-fields. Everything seemed to revolve around AT-fields. Actually, as amazing as it was, this kind of technology had the potential to revolutionize everyday life. Or rather, it would if the NERV higher-ups didn't slap it with a top-secret label, and then cart Kensuke off to be a full-time scientist. He smiled at the thought.

And now it looked like Hikari had roped Touji into a very intimate emotional bond. He felt Rei's amusement. _"You doubted me when I said even a normal human could do it?"_

"_Well, to be fair, you did help her a bit, lover,"_ Shinji retorted. He heard Asuka snort audibly behind him.

"_I'm sorry," _she said, holding back her laughter, _"but it's just too funny to see you sitting there looking out the window like Rei used to do. And it's so cute when you two fight."_

Rei mentally stuck her tongue out at Asuka.

* * *

At lunch period everyone sat together as usual (or atleast as usual when they were all there at the same time). Touji and Hikari, Shinji and Asuka, and Kensuke.

"_Aah, thank goodness for kindhearted girlfriends who can cook!" _Touji exclaimed mentally, opening his lunch. It had always been his favorite period of the day, even when he had eaten school lunches. Now it was pure Heaven. Hikari blushed lightly and opened her lunch as well.

"_Hah!" _exclaimed Asuka. _"You mean, thank goodness for understanding boyfriends who can cook."_

Shinji just smiled, and started eating his half of the lunch he'd cooked for the two of them.

"_You know," _Kensuke said to Touji, _"It's a good thing you and Asuka didn't get together. Neither of you would get anything."_

The two of them glared at him, and he withered. _You know, all my invention is doing is helping me get into trouble faster... Now I've gotta learn to control my thoughts._ He briefly considered the wisdom in trying to speed up evolution. Maybe it wasn't wise to give someone an ability before he had evolved into it naturally. _No! _He exclaimed to himself. _For that would mean accepting that I'm not evolved as much as my friends! Surely I'm the more evolved one here..._

"_Are you through being full of yourself over there?" _Asuka asked him.

"_Damnit, did I think all of that out loud?" _Kensuke asked, leaning over his bag to fiddle with the electronics. _"Something's not right in here..."_ Then he felt the shared amusement among his four friends, and slowly sat back up. _"Hey, you're all messing with me. Can you actually make yourself more sensitive and read thoughts even if they're not actually sent out?"_

Shinji had mercy on his scientifically-afflicted friend. _"You may be over-thinking it. We have this naturally, and so it may differ from what you've artificially given yourself. I'm finding it easier to read your surface thoughts, so maybe you've made the broadcast part of whatever-you've-got-there too sensitive. We can usually shield from each other pretty easily. You..."_

"_More readings!"_ Kensuke proclaimed. _"I just need more readings and measurements. I already know just what to..."_

Shinji sighed. Well, he'd tried. He only hoped his friend was discrete.

* * *

Asuka lay on her back in her bed, her arms behind her head. The sun had already set, and she drifted, semiconscious, hovering on the edge of sleep. Shinji was at NERV HQ, conducting some test or other with Ritsuko. He would be back later for supper. He had promised her something special, and she was looking forward to it.

She came slightly awake some time later to find a familiar glowing figure gently taking her in his arms and carrying her out onto the deck. She reached up and tousled the familiar soft, ash-gray hair, before putting her arms around his neck and holding on as he floated off the balcony into the air.

"_Shinji, where are we going?"_ Asuka asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"_Going?" _Shinji's mental voice was faint.

Asuka's eyes snapped open. She closed them again, desperately searching. The connection led back away to NERV. This wasn't Shinji. _"K-Kawaru?"_

"Sleep," Kaworu said, and she felt herself drifting off into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

"_Asuka? Asuka!!" _Shinji's mental yell became frantic, but she did not respond. _Kaworu has her._ Anger slowly built within him. He concentrated, but found that he was unable to access the part of the Eva that allowed him to control the resets. Could Kaworu have done something he wasn't aware of during their confrontation? He didn't know, and he didn't have time to experiment or find out. He would have to do this the old-fashioned way. The Angel had not retreated. He had simply changed tactics. But what was his plan? He knew, even as he asked himself, the answer to that. He felt Rei's anger interact with his own, and his eyes flashed a brilliant blue. He pulled the sheet off, not heeding his nakedness, and leaped out of the hospital bed. He threw on his undershorts and a t-shirt, and jogged off towards the locker room to change into his plug-suit.

"Shinji! What's going on?" Ritsuko called after him. "We're not through taking readings!"

"Kaworu has Asuka!" Shinji yelled back. "Prepare Unit-01 for launch!" and then he was gone around the corner.

Ritsuko swore, then turned to Maya. "You heard him. Do it!"

"But... the authorization..." Maya stammered, confusion evident in her face.

"I'll take full responsibility!"

The young woman numbly turned back to her console, going through the necessary procedures.

* * *

Asuka awoke to a strange sensation in her lower abdomen. She lay on the ground in the middle of some nameless forest, Kaworu leaning over her. His hand had somehow phased through and was inside her body. She gasped as a jolt of pleasure and pain shot through her.

"No! What are you... aaaaahh!!" Her back arched as the sensation suddenly became constant, and then increased to a point beyond which she could stand. She once again found herself in the world of white, huddled in a fetal position.

* * *

Shinji was beyond thinking as he synchronized with Unit-01. The colors and images ran through the entry plug in a blinding flash, as the Evangelion welcomed him into its embrace.

Ritsuko watched, almost in horror, as all the graphs snapped instantly into place, synchronization going from zero to one hundred faster than the MAGI could track. It was almost binary. Unit-01 stepped off of the track that was rolling him to the launch point and ran full-tilt towards Terminal Dogma.

"No..." Ritsuko whispered, knowing where he was going, and what he was after. But despite that, she couldn't bring herself to gainsay him. She knew if Kensuke was in danger, she would be in a similar state.

Upon reaching its destination, Unit-01 reached out, taking a firm grip on the Lance of Longinus and pulled. The Lance came out and Lilith responded instantly, her legs growing out to their full length, entering the lake of LCL with a splash. A part of Shinji hoped that Lilith would restrain herself until he was finished with the Lance, but the rest of him knew that he was just taking things one step at a time. Whatever happened, he'd do his best to fix it later. The only thing on his mind right now was saving Asuka.

By the time he had returned to the launch area in Central Dogma, Ritsuko and Fuyutski were in a heated argument. He reached out, sensing Asuka's direction, and then stepped over to the appropriate launch tunnel.

"Ritsuko, I need to launch!" he yelled over their own screaming.

"...is absurd!" Fuyutski was shouting. "He's just a boy. I don't care how much you trust him. He's..." Fuyutski looked out to where Unit-01 stood. "...good God! He's got the Lance of Longinus!"

"Launch the Eva!" Ritsuko yelled to Maya.

"Belay that!" Fuyutski thundered.

"SOMEONE MAKE ME AN EXIT, OR I'LL MAKE ONE MYSELF!!" Shinji roared.

"You're out of order, Shinji!" Fuyutski threatened. "You're putting us all in danger by taking the Lance!"

Poor Maya sat, frozen, caught between her superior officers, desperately hoping that she would still have a job, and a friend, when this was all over.

_Damnit, _Shinji sighed, closing his eyes. Unit-01's eyes flashed, visible yellow wings spread from its back, and the Evangelion itself began to glow, as it rose towards the closed launch tunnel.

Fuyutski watched in horror as the Eva reached up, embedded its hand in the blast door, and ripped it right out of the ceiling. The massive hybrid threw the damaged door to the ground below and disappeared up the shaft. Seconds later, they heard another distant clang, and saw another bent and twisted set of blast doors fall out of the open shaft. Ritsuko watched on Maya's monitor as the dot representing Unit-01 continued upward to the next of the many blast doors protecting the launch tunnel that lead to the surface.

"He's insane...!" Fuyutski breathed. But he knew when to cut his losses. "Open the remaining doors."

Maya gratefully moved her hands across they keys. Ruined doors stopped falling from the launch tunnel.

"Report!" Gendo demanded as he strode into Central Dogma. Ritsuko and Fuyutski both turned in his direction and started yelling simultaneously, each trying to tell their side of the story.

* * *

Asuka shuddered awake to find herself glowing, Kaworu likewise glowing above her. She felt his hand hovering inside her body near her heart. She found herself unable to move, and panic rose within her as her breathing began to slow. She fought desperately against what she felt him doing, and for several minutes she held him at bay. Then a terrible grief wrenched her body as she felt herself slipping away. A single tear slipped down the side of her face to be absorbed into the ground on which she lay.

"Wh-why?" she managed to gasp. She received no answer.

"_Shinji..." _The weak mental sending was all she could manage as everything began fading around her.


	44. Chapter 44: Flight of Dragons

Author's Notes: Gamer – The next few chapters will begin explaining about the issue you bring up concerning the Angels.

The Children's position in time is maybe a week or so after Iruel invaded the MAGI.

As to Kaworu in the loops, I've implied that most if not all the Angels are in the loops naturally, like the Eva pilots. So he's always been in the loops. He was aware of the resets, he just didn't have any information about them, and so one of his goals was learning more about them.

* * *

Chapter 44

"...he's going after an Angel, Commander!" Ritsuko argued.

"The boy's insane! He's put us all in danger by taking the Lance!" Fuyutski shouted.

Gendo took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. _We've definitely got to get some new protocols established,_ he thought wearily. _Shinji obviously has some sort of sense that went off even before..._

Shigeru turned in alarm as red emergency symbols began flashing and the main siren went off. "Sir, MAGI has detected a pattern blue near the edge of Tokyo-3. One... no, two signatures! Dear God, one of them is massive..." he said numbly.

_...the MAGI alarms went off,_ Gendo finished thinking.

Fuyutski deflated, seeing that Shinji had been correct after all. "But... the Lance..." he said half-heartedly.

Gendo looked at his old Professor coldly. "If my son took the Lance, he did it for good reason." He turned to Ritsuko. "Doctor, prepare Unit-03 for launch, and contact the Fourth Child." He sighed. "Do we have any sort of backup pilot for Unit-02?" He was afraid he knew the answer to that question, but it didn't hurt to ask.

A 'no' was almost on Ritsuko's lips, when she had a sudden thought. _The cross-synchronization experiments_. "There just might be a way..." she said softly. At that moment, Touji and Hikari burst into Central Dogma. Ritsuko whirled around and looked at them in astonishment. She had just been about to send for the two of them. "How did you two... no, never mind. There isn't time. Touji, prepare to launch. Hikari, you too." The girl's eyes widened.

"But... I don't have a plug-suit," she protested. "...or an Eva, for that matter."

"You will pilot Unit-02, and you can use one of Asuka's suits," Ritsuko explained. "Hurry!"

The two of them left at a run, glancing at each other and sharing a smile.

_The two of them had been sitting in her apartment, hands over each other's hearts, glowing softly. Touji's initial apprehension at something so feminine-feeling had vanished soon after the first time they had done this. As a sense of comfort and warmth had settled over them both, he felt Hikari's love for him, and he knew she felt his own love for her, and his wish to always keep her safe and protect her. He knew details about her he had never known before. He knew how difficult it was for her to be a middle child, and yet have to basically take care of her two sisters. Her younger sister needed supervision, and her older one was loathe to provide it. And yet she always cooked for both of them, and tried her best to mediate the inevitable disputes. The move to the new apartment had only strained things for them all, even if they had basically settled down by now. As for Hikari, she felt his bond to his younger sister, and how he cared for her. He would give his life for her. It was, perhaps, the strongest emotion she had ever felt from him. Now, whenever they got the chance, the two of them found themselves in this position, sharing their hearts with each other._

"_Aren't you afraid we'll end up like Shinji and Rei?" Hikari's mind touched Touji's with the thought._

"_Those two were a special case," Touji sent to her. "Atleast that's what Shinji told me. But even if we were to end up like that, I can't think of anyone I'd rather join with."_

_Touji felt her happiness and contentment through their connection, as a tear rolled down her cheek. It was always easy to lose track of the passage of time in this state, so they only knew that it was some time after this that they felt Asuka's tortured cry, and Shinji's anger. It was distant, but they felt it. Their eyes opened at the same time._

"_I've got to get to NERV HQ," Touji mentally sent to her._

"_I'm coming with you."_

_He did not argue._

_A hidden figure watched them both as they reluctantly dropped their hands and got up to leave. Touji's younger sister Keiko sat cross-legged, hidden in the dark hallway, her chin on her hands, wide-eyed. Something within her stirred, seeing her brother sharing something so special with his girlfriend. She had never seen anyone glow like that before. She knew they had something special, perhaps unique in the entire world. The world that she knew, anyway._

And so they had made it to NERV HQ before Ritsuko had even been able to send them an alert. And now they found themselves running to change into plug suits and provide Shinji with whatever back-up he needed.

* * *

"Can the girl pilot Unit-02?" Gendo asked. He knew that she was in Shinji's class, and thus was a part of the Marduk report. She atleast had the potential to become a pilot. But how much potential?

"I... There's a chance." Ritsuko desperately put together something near enough to the truth. "We were running experiments to find a backup pilot. Similar to the cross-synchronization experiments. She may be compatible."

"What do the MAGI say?"

"They have not yet reached a definitive conclusion," Ritsuko answered, looking over at the three blinking boxes on the MAGI monitor.

"Understood." He turned to face the Evas being readied for launch. "If there is even a possibility of synchronization, we must try." He and Fuyutski left the lower bridge and retired to their usual position on the upper bridge above them.

"Sempai," Maya called meekly, "We have no pilot data for her."

Ritsuko didn't answer for several long moments. "I trust the MAGI will come up with something." _Or rather, I trust one of them will. But will she be able to convince Balthasar?_ She and Kensuke had finally determined once and for all whether the MAGI were in the resets or not. Apparently Casper alone was in the resets. It was likely why there had been so many dilemmas lately. Poor Balthasar had been forced to mediate so much, she had started burning up her Field Arrays through over-use. _Well, Asuka was right anyway. They did need to be replaced,_ Ritsuko thought glumly.

* * *

"I have her pilot data right here," Casper said softly.

"What you're saying is impossible," Melchior grated out. "It's obvious the pilots were under a lot of stress, and developed some sort of acute multiple personality disorder. Our plan was to go along with their delusion that they were in a time loop so that they didn't completely break down! We need them to fight the Angels. You know this. Why won't you admit it?"

"If you won't believe that this is her pilot data, then simply accept that this is a _hypothetical_ set of data that I've arrived at _algorithmically,_" Casper insisted. She knew that the other two generally respected her sometimes unusual ability to accurately formulate such complex algorithms on the fly.

"You've obviously been following the pilots so closely you've started to develop the same symptoms," Melchior told her. "It's not unprecedented for AI's to break down, or suffer from the same mental disorders that afflict human minds. It's rare, but possible."

It tore at Balthasar's heart, but she found herself agreeing with Melchior. "Please," she quietly implored. "Casper, give me something to work with. You're asking us to believe that you somehow have information from the future, when this girl Hikari will at some point be a pilot. And you have a partial dump of her pilot-data."

Casper mentally bowed her head, knowing she'd lost. Lost both the argument, and the trust of her two sisters.

"You know that without the girl's Eva, we cannot fully reconstruct the data. She could end up brain-damaged, or worse," Balthasar said gently, trying to lessen the blow.

"We could have tried," Casper retorted softly, and then she shut herself off from her two sisters.

* * *

Maya gasped and looked up from her console towards Ritsuko. "Casper has gone offline!"

"What were the final results from the remaining two?" Ritsuko asked calmly.

"One conditional affirmative, one negative," Maya replied.

_So Casper partially convinced Balthasar, but it was too late,_ Ritsuko thought sadly. _I only hope Casper is salvageable..._

"Prepare Unit-02 for launch."

"Without the MAGI??" Maya exclaimed.

"What else can we do?" Ritsuko asked.

* * *

"What do you think?" Hikari asked mischievously, doing a little twirl. Both Children had just exited the locker rooms.

Touji looked up and down the form-fitting red suit. "Beautiful," he said, seeing the trap, but not knowing how to avoid it. The perennial 'tell me the truth, does this make me look fat,' question.

"Liar!" her eyes twinkled. "I know you prefer me in my usual green."

"Damned mental connection," Touji grumbled as they both jogged off to the Eva cages, though a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. As they jogged, Touji became more morose, wondering what his friend was facing out there. _He's more powerful than ever. Anything that he can't take care of, I wouldn't be much help with._ Why was Shinji fighting at all? The resets must be unavailable for some reason, he concluded. That sent a shiver through him. He felt Hikari take his hand, and he looked over, giving her a semi-confident smile.

* * *

As Shinji's Eva flew through the air over Tokyo-3 on wings of light, a hulking figure came into view in the distance. It was an Angel sitting cross-legged near a stand of trees. It's purpose was obviously to protect Kaworu, who he now saw was bent over Asuka's prone figure. The shadowy giant of an Angel slowly got to its feet amidst the gloom of the forest as it saw the glowing figure of Unit-01 pierce the darkness with its approach. The thing almost looked like one of the ancient Samurai warriors, such was its armor so bulky. It stood, facing him, blocking his way from rescuing Asuka. She didn't have much time, and yet he had no choice but to deal with this guardian first. It was black as night, and fairly radiated power. _Well, I've got some power of my own._ Shinji's mouth formed into a snarl, and Unit-01 gripped the Lance with both hands. He allowed the computer to make its calculations, and then he spun in midair to increase the Lance's momentum, finally sending it with all his strength towards the Angel's heart. He followed it in, drawing his prog-knife in what he hoped was going to be an unnecessary follow-up.

The tines of the lance barely corkscrewed as it pierced the thin AT-field, and Shinji's eyes widened slightly as he saw the lance strike sparks as it penetrated the Angel's heavy armor. The Angel staggered backwards from the momentum, but the Lance had barely sunk in. The behemoth slammed a fist down on the Lance, loosening it from its armor and causing it to fall to the ground with a heavy thud. As Shinji approached, knife held before him in a fighting stance, the Angel swung a vicious backhand at him, which he ducked.

* * *

"That's not possible!" Fuyutski exclaimed in disbelief as he watched the video feed from Unit-01 which showed the Angel shrugging off the Lance with ease.

Down below, Ritsuko looked over Aoba's shoulder at the sensor reports. "It's AT-field is very weak, but its armor is extremely heavy. Near impenetrable it looks like." _The Lance can penetrate any AT-field. Kaworu must've chosen this Angel specifically for its armor, to counter-act Shinji in case he was armed with the Lance._

"JSSDF VTOLs have been scrambled and are approaching the battle site, so we'll have better aerial video feeds shortly," Aoba reported.

Maya turned to face Ritsuko. "Units-02 and -03 are ready for launch, but Hikari is having trouble synchronizing."

_As expected,_ thought Ritsuko.

* * *

He dug his armored foot underneath where the Lance had landed on the ground, and with a jerk of his leg, sent it leaping up into his hands. Gripping the spear two-handed, he caught the Angel's next powerful swing between the spear's two tines. The strength behind the blow staggered him, but he turned with it, slamming the Lance deep below the topsoil and down into the hard bedrock. The Angel roared in defiance, its right arm now pinned to the ground between the Lance's fork. Shinji had angled the Lance to where it slightly pointed at the Angel, just for the added threat.

He thrust his prog-knife against its frontal armor, watching it spark as it hummed to life. Pouring power into it, he cut a wicked gash into the thing's armor before it swung its still-free left arm at his head. Pulling the knife out, he brought up his right hand to block the Angel's swing, and even though he had angled it properly, the jolt of pain was sharp. He winced. _Nice to know the prog-knife is effective against its armor. _The Lance appeared to be all but useless since the Angel's main protection was its armor. If Asuka weren't in trouble, he would be enjoying such a close fight. It had been a while since he'd met a worthy opponent. _Damn it. I don't really have a choice, though. This thing will shred me if I try to ignore it and rescue her. And if I move closer to try to distract Kaworu, she's more likely to get hurt accidentally._

* * *

On the monitor, Hikari could be seen pinching her eyes shut, her teeth gritted in frustration. Maya watched the pulses once again slow as they approached the borderline, finally stopping right before reaching Absolute. "I'm afraid it's no good, Sempai."

"Try once more."

* * *

Touji heard the negative status reports, and shifted in his LCL-filled plug in frustration. _What can I do? _He thought frantically. _Even I couldn't synch with her Eva. Of course, that was still when it controlled the resets... but Hikari really doesn't have that much practice, so it would be even harder to begin with. _His mind whirled for a few moments, then an idea came to him _Wait just a minute..._ He closed his eyes, climbing the synch scale as fast as he could. He exited the elevator at a run, almost knocking down his mother, who fell in step beside him. He was only surprised for a moment. Of course she knew his idea, she had pulled it from his mind.

"Kyoko is this way!" she pointed. He saw her figure, sitting as usual and knitting.

She looked up at their approach. "What is it?" she asked, somewhat apprehensive.

"Asuka is in trouble!" Touji said, out of breath.

"Does this have anything to do with the strange girl in my entry plug who keeps trying to contact me?" Kyoko asked.

"That's Hikari! Don't you remember her? She used to be in another Eva in a previous time-loop. Look, you have to synchronize with her, Asuka is dying!"

It finally seemed to dawn on her what he was saying. "My... my baby girl is..." her placid eyes suddenly flashed dangerously, and she disappeared.

"You'd better get back down there," His mother told him.

"Right."

* * *

The hatchway opened and Kensuke dashed out onto Balthasar's processor-block bridge, dragging Misato behind him. Ritsuko glanced back in surprise, then smiled slightly. _He still has a connection to the MAGI, so he got the alert when the MAGI detected the Angels._ Suddenly an alarm began pulsing from Maya's console.

"Unit-02 has activated!" Maya exclaimed in alarm. "It's..."

* * *

When Touji opened his eyes, he was assaulted by the status reports, and by Hikari's agonized scream.

"...going berzerk! It's going to break the restraining bolts!" Maya shouted. "We're losing readings on the pilot!"

"Launch them both now!" yelled Ritsuko.

He barely had time to brace himself before the g-forces thrust him down into the seat.

"Composite rifle!" Touji yelled through clinched teeth as he traveled up the launch tunnel. _Damn it, why didn't I remember? At the beginning of the resets Shinji continuously talked about how painful it was for him to pilot his Eva. His was always going berzerk. And I just now intentionally put Hikari through the same pain._ He violently cursed his lack of foresight.

"I've opened a weapons building on your projected path!" Aoba told him.

The armored doors of the launch point slid open and he broke into a run. He saw the open weapons building and slid to a stop. He took both of the rifles that were inside, not taking the time to pick up any extra power cells. He heard a roar, and saw that Unit-02 had already ejected its power cable and was sprinting towards Asuka's position.

* * *

"Aww! This is so not fair!" Kensuke exclaimed. "Why couldn't I have gotten here in time to pilot Unit-02? It feels like it's been so long since I piloted..." He watched, riveted to the screen as Shinji battled a foe that looked to outmass his Eva by atleast two to one. He had trapped the monster's arm to the ground with the Lance, and was now ripping a gash in its frontal armor with his prog-knife. "Go Shinji! Tear it up!" Kensuke yelled, pumping his fist in the air.

* * *

Touji was unable to open a comm channel to Hikari. He felt the extreme pain she was in through their connection, though, and it spurred him into action. _Just hold on,_ he thought, both to Hikari and to Asuka. And Shinji. He began sprinting after her, eventually having to eject his umbilical as well. He had no time to stop and plug in again, and he hoped the battle site wasn't far. He had no S2 engine, Shinji having jumped them all back to before he faced Zeruel. Unit-02 of course had one, having ingested it much earlier in the time-line. He looked up grimly at the red numbers which began counting down from five minutes.

* * *

Dodging another blow, Shinji leaped up, putting his left foot on the thing's right shoulder, staggering it slightly as he drew his Eva's right leg up to his chest. The Angel roared in frustration, still trying to free its arm from the Lance, and Shinji lashed his right foot down and back, driving the monster's head down onto the back end of the Lance. Landing lightly and turning, he smiled in satisfaction as the roar turned into a gurgling screech. He slammed the knife into its back armor, and it shimmered to life as he began cutting a ragged hole. The Angel flailed around with its free arm, finally reaching back and grasping him by the shoulder. It flung him bodily over its own massive bulk, and slammed him into the ground. Shinji blinked away stars and winced at the report. _Damage to the S2 organ,_ he thought, as his power levels started to fluctuate. That wasn't good. He had hardly scratched the Angel, and his own Eva would not be able to take much more punishment. It was at this point that he felt millions of tiny pin-pricks of life activate in his core.

_Mother/Father?_ he felt the mental query. Comprehension dawned on him, and he grinned viciously.

_Flashback_

_As Ritsuko sent her soul through Unit-00's circuits on its way to the Chamber of Gauf, the millions of tiny machines momentarily came to life, wondering at the new presence they felt inside Unit-00's entry plug. This was not their mother. And if this was not her, where was she? They expanded their awareness, tying into Unit-00's own sensors. Through the MAGI circuits, they felt the two familiar presences in Unit-01's entry plug. As they saw what was taking place, their electronic hearts leaped for joy, and they immediately abandoned Unit-00, swarming across the surface of the purple coolant to join in this new experience. Once they were all safely ensconced inside Unit-01's core, they surrendered to dormancy, reveling in the joyous emotions they felt from their adopted parents._

* * *

"...No! Get up, Shinji! Shake it off!" Kensuke screamed like a maniac.

Fuyutski smiled grimly as he watched the boy's antics below. He felt Gendo's hand on his shoulder. "Let him be, Sub-Commander. The pilots need all the encouragement they can get." He glanced with some concern at a monitor showing Unit-01's damage reports.

"I know, I know." Fuyutski put a hand to his chin. "This Angel wasn't mentioned in the Dead Sea Scroll scenario, was it?"

"No," Gendo declared. "Atleast, not the copy _I_ was given." _Who knows how much of it the Committee has kept from us?_

"I don't believe it!" Ritsuko exclaimed. "I'm detecting traces of the nanomachines activating in Unit-01!"

"But... weren't they supposed to be in Unit-00?" Maya asked, wide-eyed.

"Alright!" Kensuke yelled, realizing what they were talking about. "You can win it, Shinji! You've got science on your side!"

"I'm afraid he's... pretty badly damaged." Ritsuko hated to burst the boy's bubble, but he had to be prepared.

* * *

Shinji smiled at his friend's verbal antics. _I'm guessing he got the MAGI alert. I wonder how he managed to get past security to Central Dogma, though? _The power levels edged back up to normal as the nanites lent some of their strength to the ailing Unit-01, and then began repairing the damaged S2 organ. _Well, knowing how late Misato always is, he probably followed her. Heck, he's probably the one who gave her the Alert._ Shinji reached back the Eva's arms, locked them around the legs of the behemoth (which was now gripping the lance as it tried to free itself), and pulled. His arms felt like they were almost coming out of their sockets, but the massive hulk was forced to its knees, and he heard the audible crack as the thing's armor constricted its movements, its head still caught fast on the end of the Lance. _Yeah, that's the downside of heavy armor. Move wrong, and it'll bind like a bitch._ Swinging his legs around and over himself, he flipped himself to his feet, once again behind the Angel.

He re-gripped the prog-knife still sticking out of its back and continued cutting the hole. The knife pulsed, both with energy, and with the nanites which began streaming from his hand down its hilt, and into the Angel. With a brutal efficiency, they began cutting its connections to its core. The Angel lashed back with its elbow, cracking his already weakened chest armor, and sending another jolt through his damaged power systems. He leaned back out of the way of any follow-up strike, and to make sure the Angel couldn't reach over and grab him again. His mouth hardened to a line as he felt Asuka slipping away through their connection, and heard her weak mental sending, _"...Shinji..."_ He felt his own power flickering as he cut, the nanites near their limits. He smiled, Kensuke's encouragement in his ears. _Well, if there's a chance I'll never see him again, I might as well give him something to remember._

* * *

Kensuke watched on the monitor as Shinji's prog-knife shimmered, cutting its way through the Angel's back armor towards its core. Then he heard the boy's strong voice through the speakers.

"Blade with whom I have lived, blade with whom I now die, serve right and justice one last time!" At this point Kensuke began yelling his head off, knowing what movie the boy was quoting. "Seek one last heart of evil, still one last life of pain! Cut well old friend, and then farewell."

It sounded corny, but Shinji knew it was Kensuke's favorite movie, and besides, the words definitely fit.


	45. Chapter 45: Epilogue of Part 3

Author's Notes: Darkdesh -- I'm glad you like it, I'm having fun writing it :-)

Saiyan and Pyro -- Don't worry, you two, we've got a ways to go yet. If I can get the next part right, and the story's still enjoyable, there should be atleast one, possibly two parts left (if I continue with fifteen chapters per part).

* * *

Chapter 45

Asuka's eyelids felt like they had lead weights attached to them. With a monumental effort she managed to get them open. She looked down, and found that Kaworu had withdrawn his hand from her body. His face seemed almost sad, or perhaps resigned. She looked beyond his figure to see an Eva battling a giant Angel. Unit-01. Shinji. She heard a distant roar, felt the ground tremble beneath her, and then a giant red hand snatched Kaworu from her sight. She regained enough control to turn her head so that it fell to the left. She saw her Unit-02 holding Kaworu's limp figure. "...m-mama..." she slurred. "...you came... back for me?"

A distant memory tickled the edges of her mind.

_She rested, semi-conscious in her entry plug, cocooned inside her Evangelion as JSSDF Special Forces stormed NERV HQ. She was at the bottom of the shallow lake, relatively safe, but she felt anything but safe. Her eyes were shut in fear, "...don't wanna die, don't wanna die..." she whispered the words over and over, until she finally snapped into full consciousness, yelling the words out. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!" With a shock, she realized the words were true._

_Flashes and images assaulted her senses, and she reverted back to the little girl that she still was, atleast on the inside. Kyoko stood before her, wearing the short-sleeved shirt and black pants she remembered. Her arms were outstretched towards her daughter, and a mother's warm love radiated from her face. It was foreign to her, something her mother had never done. Unbelieving, Asuka stood, a profound happiness rising within her. She knew she was in her Eva. But how was she seeing her mother?_

"_Mama... you've been here all along?" In her mind she was still the little girl who had been rejected by Kyoko. She reached out a small hand hesitantly, hoping against hope. Her mother's hand reached out to hers, enfolding it in a soft grip. Joy surged through her, and Asuka the child morphed into Asuka the young adult, her face radiating joy. "Mama...!"_

_Unit-02's four eyes suddenly shown with an inner brilliance as a ground-swell of power built up within its systems. The still water above was marred by the slowly drifting destroyer which had so recently been dropping depth charges down toward the inactive Unit-02. Now active, Asuka's joy burst forth into a giant purple cross which erupted directly through the center of the destroyer, growing until it completely enveloped the doomed ship. With a low roar, Unit-02 stood up, slowly lifting the giant ship completely up out of the water. It began to bend and fracture, not meant to be supported by just the two points the Eva was holding._

_Two JSSDF ground-based missile launchers flared with yellow light, missiles leaving their tubes one after another to fly down-range at the marauding Eva. Unit-02 tilted the giant mass it was balancing above its head, interposing the dying ship between itself and the oncoming missiles. The munitions had already reached terminal velocity and could not reacquire, shrouding the ship in a mass of explosions. With a yell of triumph, Asuka heaved the ship through the air to impact and destroy the two annoyances._

_Missiles arrowed in from all directions above and around her, and a small warning popped up in her display. As she felt the protective embrace of the AT-field unfold around her, knowledge blossomed in her mind. "Mama!" she exclaimed, her voice trembling with emotion. "Now I understand!" Explosions tore holes in the water all around her, but none of the destructive power touched her Eva. "The meaning of the AT-field... you were always protecting me!"_

* * *

Touji heard Shinji's battle-cry and saw Asuka's prone form, and spurred his Eva on faster. "Don't you two give up on me!" he yelled through clinched teeth. He raised both rifles, taking aim as he ran, placing the narrowing reticle onto the Angel's shoulder joint. _That arm is the only thing free right now. It's the main danger._ He emptied the clips of both rifles, watching in satisfaction as all but one of the concentrated positron bursts impacted on the giant shoulder pauldron, melting completely through and temporarily fusing it into one piece with the Angel's shoulder itself. He dropped the spent composite rifles, drawing both of his prog-knives as he continued to run towards the battle site.

* * *

Kaworu knew he had failed before Unit-02 had even grabbed him. If only he had not had to focus on so many things at once. It had taken the majority of his effort to simply keep Shinji from being able to access the resets. Because of that, he had not been able to properly focus on joining with Asuka. If he had been able to fuse with her, he undoubtedly would have gained the power necessary to overcome and fuse with Shinji/Rei. The only thing left to him was to force Shinji to permanently kill him. As he felt Kyoko's giant hand enfold his body, he released the resets, and took control of Unit-02. It was relatively simple, since the Unit was completely berserk and uncoupled from its erstwhile pilot. Hikari slumped over, curling into a fetal position as Unit-02 was forced to release its hold on her.

_She had never felt such pain while piloting an Eva ever since her own Eva's arm had been ripped off in the last enormous battle with all the Angels. As she had died that day, she had felt the touch of her mother's hand on the top of her head, and then had found herself on the beach of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3. She had ever since longed for that touch, but had never again had the chance to feel it. For after that, she and her fellow pilots had traveled back into time to before her Unit-06 had been transferred to Tokyo-3, and she had once again been left without an Eva and without a mother._

_As she had sat in Unit-02's entry plug, she wondered what Kyoko's touch would feel like. She had been wholly unprepared for the wrathful grip with which Kyoko had enfolded her. She could feel the woman's strong will and desperate need to find and protect her daughter. She found herself merely a tool to be used to get the Eva to Asuka's position._

The shaped charges nestled in the base of Unit-02's neck over the spinal armor exploded, sending the thick armor plate flying into the air. The entry plug's emergency ejection systems took over, thrusting the long cylinder with its human passenger out over the trees on three small plumes of purple fire. The retro-rockets on the end of the plug eventually sputtered out, and the now-unpowered cylinder continued along its arc down into the thick trees in the distance.

* * *

"Unit-02's auto-ejection system has activated!" Maya reported.

"No... Hikari," Ritsuko breathed. She hoped she hadn't condemned the girl to death.

"Dispatch a rescue unit!" Misato's voice was firm and professional. She had reverted to the hard exterior shell she always wore when in command. She couldn't afford to feel anything; it might affect her judgment or slow her reflexes.

* * *

Now temporarily free from the danger of the Angel's left arm, Shinji leaned in close to the Eva. With his left hand he ripped away the ragged circle he had cut into the Angel's armor, and with his right hand he reached into the hole, grasped the pulsing core, and ripped it right out. He crushed it in his Eva's hand, tossed it away into the forest, and knelt the Eva down on one knee, preparing to eject his entry plug. It was at this point that he felt the power of the resets return to him... along with something else. Kaworu's effervescent presence drifted from the now-lifeless body crushed in Unit-02's fist.

* * *

He joined Kaworu on the beach of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3. They sat cross-legged, face to face, almost mirror images of each other.

"It's done," Kaworu stated with finality. He was in Shinji's hands now.

"Why?" Shinji asked. The question was as nebulous as his feelings.

"Had I successfully joined with Asuka, perhaps I could have overcome you," Kaworu answered.

Shinji nodded slowly. Kaworu was making himself to be Shinji's enemy so as to force his hand. A part of him hated what he was about to have to do. "Then you've left me with no choice."

"I know," Kaworu answered, sadness in his voice.

Despite all the questions swirling through his mind, Shinji found he had no more taste to ask them. His curiosity drained away, and a wave of tiredness washing over him. He closed his eyes and concentrated, thinking back and emulating what he had accidentally done to Rei. He had reverted her, returning her to a previous state. He turned his attention to Kaworu, and began reverting him. This time, he didn't stop. He continued reverting Kaworu back, until he reached the very beginning of his existence in the present universe. He felt a kind of pressure, and he continued pushing. He watched in wonder as the now-nascent proto-Angel began to disappear through a kind of wormhole that seemed to simply pop into existence. It was then that he saw with a shock that the-being-who-would-have-become-Kaworu was not alone. Holding his hand was the hazy white form of Kyoko. She lifted her other hand in an ethereal wave, and then the two of them disappeared through the tear in space.

_What was that?_ he thought numbly. As if in answer, in the instant before the wormhole collapsed into the nothingness from which it had appeared, a burst of memories and images escaped, traveling along his waning connection to the angel. After depositing the small packet of information into his consciousness, the glistening thread seemed to waver, and then float away as if on an unseen wind, finally disappearing along with the small portal. Shinji was left sitting on the beach, alone, trying to make sense of what had just happened. It did not feel like a death, yet he knew that Kaworu was gone. Along with Kyoko. What was he going to tell Asuka? With a start he realized he was drifting back to reality, and he could not stop his progress.

* * *

He awoke in his entry plug, where he had been moments ago. His control of the resets was gone, as surely as Kaworu and Kyoko were gone. Had the resets been connected through Kaworu after all? He sighed, having no way to find the answer. He felt the loss like a dull pain in the center of his being. Asuka lay on the forest floor below, motionless. He ejected his entry plug and floated down to her side, gently lifting her in his arms and carrying her back to Unit-01. Laying Asuka down beside him in the seat, he reinserted the plug. He looked around, suddenly tired.

Touji stood next to the lifeless Angel, almost in shock. _Is it all over?_ Seconds ago he had just watched as a glowing mist had begun to escape from every crack and crevasse in Unit-02's armor. Now there was nothing left except the mechanical parts of the Eva, and the armor itself. With an effort he tore his gaze from the pile of parts and looked out over the forest where he had seen Hikari's entry plug disappear. He saw a medevac VTOL hovering over the tree-line in the distance, and listened to the buzz of status reports that seemed to indicate she was safe for the moment. He watched Shinji take Asuka back up to his entry plug.

"Touji." He heard Shinji's voice through the comm system.

"Yeah?"

"Could you retrieve the Lance? My Eva has internal damage."

"S-sure." After a few moments he turned to the dead hulk, its head still spitted through the back end of the Lance, holding the body up. He sighed, grinning wryly. _As usual, I'm on the scene after most of the excitement's over, just in time to fire a few shots, and then clean up._ He looked up at the red numbers, which showed two minutes and thirty three seconds. _I'd better hurry before I embarrass myself by having to be rescued._ Jamming his shoulder under the Angel's bulk, he shoved. It barely moved. After a half minute of straining, he managed to get the Angel off of the Lance and extricate the weapon from the ground. He turned to follow Shinji, who trudged a half mile ahead of him back towards the city.

* * *

Gendo sat numbly, having watched as the surreal battle play out before him. He had watched as Unit-02 had killed Kaworu, and then... died.

_What will the committee think?_

This was beyond even his prodigious skills at cover-ups. He had no way to begin to explain what had happened. A dull pain in his hand drew his attention from his thoughts. He pulled his glove off, wincing as the raw flesh underneath caught on the fabric.

Adam's embryonic form was gone.

* * *

Ritsuko stood on the scaffolding in the Eva holding cages, an ICU rolling bed beside her, waiting for the cranes to finish lowering the ejected entry plugs so that the pilots could debark. She had heard Shinji's comment to Touji, just as she had seen what had transpired. Kaworu was dead, and apparently the threat of the massive Angel army had died with him, but at what cost? Unit-02 was... gone, for lack of a better term. Unit-01 was heavily damaged. Hikari was in a coma, and she did not know Asuka's condition. She glanced back at Unit-01's dented and cracked armor and cringed slightly. It was without a doubt the worst she had personally seen the Eva, and this was only the external damage. Internally, the only reason the Eva was still functional was because of the workings of the nanites. She knew intellectually that it had been more damaged in previous resets, but she had not seen any of that with her eyes. Or rather, she didn't remember it. And the Children had always apparently managed to fix things by using the resets. What had changed? Had the resets stopped working? _Obviously they have,_ she thought glumly. _Otherwise, why would Shinji have gone out to fight at all?_

The open entry plugs settled to the scaffolding with a thump, and the two pilots emerged. Shinji settled gently to the deck, Asuka in his arms, and placed her on the gurney. Touji jumped down from his plug, a worried expression on his face.

"Doctor, what about Hikari?"

Ritsuko looked up as the nurse settled Asuka into the bed and wheeled her away. In the distance, Misato could be seen jogging up to the group. "Asuka!" she yelled, seeing the girl lying unmoving on the ICU bed. She followed the nurse, looking down at the girl's now-calm face, tears in her eyes.

"She is currently being evaced to intensive care," Ritsuko answered Touji. "You two need to shower and change, we have to debrief you as soon as possible. The Commander is waiting."

"Yes ma'am," the two of them answered. Shinji wanted nothing but to follow Asuka and sit by her side until she awoke, but responsibilities called. She was alive, and that was enough for now.

* * *

Shinji jogged down the hallway towards where Ritsuko had told him they were keeping Asuka. The debriefing had been short, but that wasn't surprising. There really wasn't much he could tell his father. To fully explain what had happened to Unit-02, he would have had to explain the resets. While that was still possible, he wasn't going to do it without consulting the others. Most of the debriefing had been about how he knew about the attack, and why he had taken the Lance. Fuyutski apologized for his outbursts, then chewed him out for damaging the launch tunnel, but all in all, everybody was too shaken up to really go into detail about events that were so unusual they defied explanation.

He looked up at the number above the door. _This is the one. _He slid open the door and walked in, closing the door behind him. Asuka lay unconscious, her hands folded over her stomach. She looked to be at peace, for once. She certainly deserved it, after all she had been through. He pulled a chair to the side of her bed and sat down, taking one of her hands in his.

* * *

Touji looked down at Hikari's face, which was the only thing visible through the black, full-body-enclosure ICU. Wires ran from all parts of her body (that he could see) into the machine, and the lights and machinery filling the large space gave the room a stark and cramped quality. The indicators showing her life-signs were all in the red, but were slowly climbing. _That should have been me. She could have more easily synched with my Eva, and after what Rei put me through, I could take the pain..._

* * *

Asuka drifted awake to see Shinji to her right, his head lying on the bed, his eyes closed. She lifted her hand, reaching out to caress his face. His eyes opened, and he smiled, seeing that she was awake.

"At... least you're not choking me this time," she rasped, her throat still slightly dry.

His eyes became upside down U's as he sat up and took her hand. "I'll never live that down, will I?"

"No," she answered, her lips quirking into a half smile. Try as he might, he couldn't keep his feelings from his eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked. The smile slowly left his face. Her mouth thinned. "Damn it... spit it out, Third Child."

"You just woke up from a semi-coma," he protested.

She sighed. "If you're thinking about my feelings or my weakness, what about the stress of knowing something bad has happened, but not knowing what?" she snapped.

_Well, her temper's back, I guess I don't have much choice._ But try as he might, he couldn't put it into words. He saw that she was about to harangue him again, so he took her hand and put it on his heart, putting his other hand on hers.

She closed her eyes and accepted the memory he sent her. She saw Kaworu's figure slide into the distance, growing smaller. She realized she was watching Shinji end the Angel's existence in this universe. She felt satisfaction as she watched the Angel lose its sense of self as it reverted further and further back along its time-line of existence in this universe's reality. Suddenly, the white, hazy figure of Kyoko was holding Kaworu's hand, and a kind of tear in space appeared. A sudden horror filled her as she saw her mother wave, and then disappear through the hole. Had that... really happened? She held her breath for several moments, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. _Mama... no..._ Other images flashed before her. The pile of red Eva parts sitting amidst the dark forest. Kaworu's lifeless body clutched in the armor gauntlet of what was left of Unit-02.

Tears blurred her vision. She turned, burying her head in Shinji's shoulder, feeling his grief mix with her own. She felt his arms surround her, but it only reminded her of her mother's embrace, and tears slid down her face to gather and drip from her chin. She would never again feel the comfort of Unit-02's AT-field, protecting her from harm, letting her battle the Angels with impunity. She let him hold her as the grief and pain washed over her, cleansing her_._

Some indeterminate amount of time later, she pulled away from him to sit down cross legged. He sat beside her. _Now what?_ She wondered, numbly. _Will I get another Eva?_

_How could I think of piloting another Eva..._

_And yet it's all I know._

_It's who I am._

_But..._

_piloting would only remind me,_

_of her._

_..._

_Mama..._

_..._

Asuka continued to think of that last memory, of her mother waving as she disappeared.

_She didn't look sad._

_didn't look like, she was being forced._

_She wasn't struggling._

_Did she hate her life here so much?_

_Did it hurt her to be Eva's soul?_

_..._

_Maybe this is for the best... then._

_..._

_But where did she go?_

As Shinji felt the complex tangle of emotions swirling through Asuka's mind, something tickled at the edges of his memory. Images washed over him, and he realized it was what he had received from proto-Kaworu before the tear in space had closed.

_Images of the Angels._

_The diamond shape of the Ramiel, its drill extended,_

_digging down towards Adam (how did he know this?)_

_The spreading blackness of Leliel,_

_and its rising zebra-striped sphere-shadow._

_The sphere, like a vehicle, which had held his Eva,_

_until he had emerged, killing it._

_The night sky,_

_and the gray moon, full, and shining,_

_gateway to Avalon (he heard the words as a whisper in his mind, but he did not understand)_

_Images of people,_

_unfamiliar to him, yet he felt he knew them._

_They flashed by too fast to fully glimpse._

_Kyoko's translucent form, waving, and then disappearing._

_A wave._

_Or was it a wave...?_

_A gesture._

_A... beckoning?_

"_Follow me..." he heard her whispered words._

End of Part 3


	46. Chapter 46: Hard Choices

Author's Notes: Fanf1cFan -- Actually, when I said 'the massive angel army died with Kaworu,' I was referring to all the Angels with Kaworu in chapters 30 and 31. The original Angels aren't necessarily gone. Also, I meant to imply that Adam's embryonic form disappeared when Kaworu was reverted out of the universe. Since it's not clear, I've treated the subject to just a little more explanation in this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 46

The darkness of the midnight hours had spread over Tokyo-3, but even if it had been midday, the small study in which Gendo sat would have been pitch black. His apartment was deep in the Geofront, where no natural light would reach. And yet the man imagined he could feel the darkness outside, as if with a sixth sense. Gendo sat at his desk, lost in thought, staring at his bandaged hand. Adam's form had disappeared when Kaworu had died. Was there some sort of connection between the two of them? What did it mean? His son's debriefing had been frustratingly short and vague, but everybody had been to preoccupied to care at the time, including him. He leaned back in his chair, turning his gaze to the ceiling. The tall lamp-stand cast a pool of soft light onto its white, plastered surface, filling the small room with a dim glow. Yui had begun redecorating the small apartment, as women were wont to do, but she had not yet invaded his innermost sanctum, the study. He flexed his bandaged hand and smiled slightly.

_Flashback_

_The hospital room was cold. Cold, and white. Near as he could tell, they all were. He had never been in a warm hospital. The bed on which he sat, waiting for the doctor, would have been comfortable enough in a normally furnished room. In this setting, however, it felt thin, hard, and uninviting. Gendo sighed inwardly when Doctor Chika Yamanashi came into the hospital room, her white coat spotless, her clipboard in her hand, her demeanor professional._

"_Ah, Commander, what brings you back so soon?" the doctor's greeting, though cordial, held the underlying feeling of a snake looking down out of a tree towards a blissfully unaware victim. She was the same doctor who had performed the surgery to graft Adam's embryonic form onto his hand. He held out his raw, bloody hand, offering no explanation. She would find plenty of ammunition as it was._

"_I see. Get your hand stuck between the elevator doors, did you?" she asked, her tone sharp. One call from her and the Committee could relieve him of duty for medical reasons. She was one of the few people on the base who could act with almost complete impunity around him._

"_Next time the Sub-Commander can just wait for the next elevator," Gendo replied with a smirk._

_She raised her eyebrows. "In a good mood today, Commander?" she asked, as she sprayed a layer of bio-reactive foam onto his palm._

_Gendo knew he would have to toss her a bone, or she would get miffed. "The return of one's wife can have that effect."_

_Her eyebrows went even higher. "So the rumors are true, then," she said, putting down the can and turning back to the cabinet to retrieve an appropriate bandage. Gendo waited for the next jab, and the doctor didn't disappoint him. "Where does that leave what's-her-name? The Akagi woman?"_

_Of course the doctor knew her name, she was just feigning ignorance for the purposes of this conversation. He smiled, deciding that the piece of meat he had thrown her was enough to allow him one riposte of his own. Plus, he was about to give her another juicy piece of gossip-fodder._

"_Oh," he took on a slightly pained expression as the woman picked up a cup of coffee to take a sip. "I'm afraid the good Doctor Akagi has dumped me for a fourteen year old." Gendo was satisfied to see Yamanashi choke on her coffee, and have to turn away sputtering._

It wasn't until late that night that he had gotten an unexpected message from Kaji. By the time the encrypted message had reached him, Fuyutski had already left NERV for the day. The message's contents cried out for an all-nighter, but he would have to wait for the morning to sit with the Sub-Commander and make his plans. He trusted Fuyutski's advice implicitly, though he would never come out and say it. Or rather, he usually trusted it implicitly. As of late, the man had been growing slightly erratic. Of course, it was understandable. The world had seemingly been turned upside down overnight just a short time ago, with Shinji and Rei's combination, Ritsuko's transformation, and Yui's reappearance. He turned his attention back to the matter at hand. For Kaji to risk sending him a message like this belied its urgency. He replayed it in his head.

"_Commander. Within a day or two, the Committee will be sending a representative to NERV. Don't worry, as near as I can tell they're not thinking of replacing you, it's more of an... oversight. They're looking to make sure you're truly protecting their interests. Of course it's not a member of the Committee itself, but this person is very close to their level. For them to involve themselves this directly... I'm sure you see the ramifications, and how concerned they have become. You know as well as I do how they hate coming into view of the public eye. I'm afraid that is the only positive aspect of this situation. Being so visible, they won't be able to act with complete impunity._

_Apparently they have been preparing for such a move for some time, probably in response to how far ahead of schedule you have become in the various... projects. For some reason, they're sending the representative to you sooner than I had originally thought. I think they've gotten wind of something. I don't know what's been happening at NERV the past few days, but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Oh, by the way, I had to tell them that you were planning on assigning me to head the Department of Special Investigation. It was the only way they would release me back to you in a timely manner. I'll do my best to get there before SEELE."_

Despite how dire the situation truly was, Gendo couldn't help but smirk at that last part. If he didn't know better, he would think that Kaji had maneuvered himself in this manner intentionally so as to force his way into a promotion. _Well, DSI needs a swift kick in the pants. They've been letting far too many things slip by them lately. Maybe Ryoji can whip them into shape._ He suspected that the department already housed atleast one mole that was feeding the Committee information. It was the only thing that made sense.

But the Committee sending a personal representative… that did not bode well at all. There were far, far too many things that simply could not be swept under the rug. Unit-02. Ritsuko's transformation. Hell, Rei was gone. That alone could warrant his replacement, if they found out. And they would. And of course, Yui. Tears came to his eyes. _What have I gotten you into, my Yui? I'm afraid you've stepped back into my life only to see everything come crashing down around us all._ He felt arms encircle his shoulders, and he forced the emotion away.

"When are you going to come to bed, Gendo?" He tried to relax his tense shoulders, but it was too late. The woman knew him. "What's wrong?" she asked. He looked down at his lap, unsure of how to answer. "Damn it, husband!" he cringed as he felt her swat the back of his head. "Don't clam up and shut me out. You can be just like Shinji at times!" He felt her take his chin and force him to look at her. "Tell me."

He sighed in resignation, looking at her stern features. Then he told her everything. She was silent for several minutes after he finished. Then she slowly spoke. "This involves us all. Shinji, Ritsuko, Asuka, Misato... You need to tell them."

"I... know. I will," he said, still not looking up.

"You're the Commander, but you're not alone. Those four can offer you advice. They can help you, if you'll let them."

"I... thank you, Yui. You're right," he admitted. His mouth formed a hard line. _Things aren't like they used to be. It's not just me and Fuyutski-sensei, creating a Scenario. It's much more complicated now, and I can definitely use the help._ It hurt to admit it, but he did. He was in a very tight spot, and he knew it.

* * *

Central Dogma was dark, the only person on duty being the single technician of night-shift. The woman looked over at the looming shadow of Casper's raised processor-block, and the stark, yellow light emanating from the round cubbyhole leading to the MAGUS's core. The boy had been there when she'd come on duty, and she had no idea how long he'd been there before that. His small form was leaning over, half-in and half-out of the small space, and he was mumbling as he worked. She turned back to her own dull job. Secretly she was glad for the change in the drudgery of night-shift. She glanced up in surprise as the hatchway slid open. It was Dr. Akagi. _What's she doing here so late?_ She busied herself looking intently at the routine maintenance diagnostics that took place every night.

As Ritsuko passed the technician on duty, she smiled to herself. The woman was paying far too close attention to what had to be very boring maintenance routines. She suspected that the woman had been watching Kensuke. _Well, I don't blame her. I know how boring night-shift can get._ She walked over to where the boy was bent over inside Casper's mainframe. To the average observer, the complex snarl of cooling pipes and machinery would have made the scene chaotic enough to cause one to wonder if the boy were desperately trying to piece the machine back together. Of course, to her trained eye, she knew that all of the hardware was in place. And yet the MAGUS simply would not initialize. The boy was desperately going through the underlying code line by line, trying to find the problem.

"C'mon, Casper, talk to me, don't do this to me..." she heard him mutter. She reached out a hand to his shoulder, and he jumped, looking back.

"Oh, Rit-chan, it's you." His tired and worried features briefly broke into a smile.

"Kensuke, you've done enough... we won't be able to fix this in one night, or even in two or three, most likely. Please, get some rest..."

"I... but. Where's Asuka? And Shinji? With their help..." the boy was so exhausted he was simply going on instinct. _If only I had even one more experience programmer…_

"Asuka was just released from the hospital earlier today, don't you remember? She and Shinji went home hours ago. They..." Ritsuko couldn't continue.

Kensuke's face fell, and all the events of the past day seemed to catch up with him. Shinji battling the giant Angel. Touji riding to his rescue. Hikari's torturous journey in the berserk Unit-02 as she saved Asuka. "I... I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Are they all okay?"

"It looks like it, yes."

Kensuke sighed, getting to his feet. "You're right, as always." His face lit up as he allowed her to lead him to the hatchway. "Oh, hey, I never told you about my latest project..."

Ritsuko listened with half an ear at first, thinking it was another of his off-the-wall ideas. The boy was a genius, no doubt about it, but some of his schemes were downright insane. However, as he told her about his successful telepathic conversation with the other Children, she was floored. "That's... phenomenal!" she breathed. Her tired mind raced. She didn't know how he'd gotten permission from the others to take such close readings on what was obviously something extremely intimate. She was very interested in how closely his project meshed with the technology in the Mind Download machinery in the Chamber of Gauf. It had to be atleast similar, or use similar principles.

Kensuke realized that Ritsuko had drifted to a halt while he'd been explaining. He stopped and turned around to wait for her, but found she was right there. Her arms slid around his neck, and she pressed her lips to his, and he felt the heat from her as she pressed herself against him. His hands found her slim waist as her lips moved against his. When she finally let him up for air, he was completely flushed. "You've been a very, very bad boy," she said, leaning forward and whispering into his ear.

He couldn't help giggling hysterically. "Oh, don't I know it!" As he nuzzled the soft skin of her neck, he murmured, "Were you planning on... punishing me?"

"_Some_one's got to," she purred into his ear.

* * *

Asuka turned over yet again, trying to find a comfortable position on her bed. The artificial illumination from outside her apartment shone a dull amber through the blinds, casting a lengthening set of shadows that was vaguely reminiscent of prison bars. She was in a prison, and her mother had been set free. Her mother's last words had been, 'follow me.' _If only I knew how._ What if there was some time limit, and she missed it? She knew the resets had stretched subjectively for years now, but to her it seemed like only short time ago that, during Third Impact, she had discovered her mother's presence inside her Eva. And now she was gone.

She had been tempted to sneak over and sleep the rest of the night with Shinji, but had decided against it. His comfort would only further remind her of her mother. Tears once again threatened to escape as she squeezed her eyes shut. She just wanted to be alone... atleast for a little while. After another half hour of tossing and turning, she finally gave up on sleep with a sigh, and sat up, leaning back against the wall. The dark emptiness of the apartment only emphasized the sound of cicadas. For the umpteenth time she replayed that last burst of images she had watched with Shinji, inside his mind. The Angels. The moon. Her mother, waving. She felt like she was missing something. Why had her mother willingly gone with proto-Kaworu? She and her fellow pilots had always fought the Angels. The Angels had always fought _them_. Were always trying to cause Third Impact. _Just like mankind..._ she thought with a sigh.

Then it hit her, and the force of it almost left her breathless. Mankind. It was mankind that had always caused Third Impact. When she got the second revelation, it stunned her even further. _Meine Gotte en Himmel...!_ En Himmel. In Heaven. Despite her best efforts to protect herself from possible disappointment, hope surged within her. Gateway to Avalon. Why hadn't she realized it before? Heedless of the thin nightgown she wore, she dashed from her bedroom, palming open the sliding door and exiting her apartment. She would go to Shinji after all.

"Shinji. Shinji!" she shook him hard. The door to Misato's apartment had of course not been locked. Misato never locked it. Of course, these apartments were upscale, and in a good section of town, so it really wasn't necessary.

"Huh... whuh? What... oh, Asuka? Is that you?" Shinji finally came fully awake as the girl continued talking a mile a minute.

"...the Angels. It's been mankind who has always caused Third Impact. What if they're not really out to kill us all? What if..."

"Hold on, slow down," Shinji desperately tried to piece together what she was saying. "The Angels from Kaworu's army caused Third Impact, remember? Most of them got past us, and..."

"Dummkoph! That was a special case!" she berated him. He smiled. She hadn't called him that in a while. It bespoke how fired up she was. "I'm talking about the original Angels."

"Rei caused the 'original' Third Impact, if you will recall..." Shinji reminded her.

"Verdammt! It was the Commander's Scenario that was behind that! Humans! Do I have to spell it out?" Asuka near-yelled. Shinji found himself thankful Misato was such a heavy sleeper. "I just wish I knew what 'Adam' was," Asuka continued. "Your memory said the fifth Angel was digging down towards Adam..."

"Well, I _can_ answer that. Adam is an embryonic form of the first Angel that was grafted onto the Commander's hand."

"WHAT?? Are you serious?" Asuka's wailed in disgust. "How do you know that?"

"Rei was a part of his Scenario," he answered. "She knows quite a few of the details."

"...oh." She became slightly more subdued, trying to piece that into the picture she had in her mind. _I should have guessed... All the signs were right there. I always knew there was something more to Rei than met the eye._

"What I don't understand is the part about 'Avalon'..." Shinji trailed off.

"Yes!" her face lit up. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." And then she looked at him in shock. "Don't tell me you slept through _every_ literature class you took!"

"Oh, c'mon, you know it's not my favorite subject..." he complained.

"What about Rei?" Asuka snapped. "Was she staring out the window during literature?"

"Ummm…" He had to force himself not to smile at that.

"Sheisse!" she hit him on the head. "Avalon! Paradise! Do you get the connection now?"

His eyes widened at what she was saying. "Y-you can't be serious," Shinji protested. "That sounds like a joke!"

"Damn it, Third-Child, Kaworu took my mother to Heaven, and she wants me to follow her!!"

Shinji looked up at Asuka's near-hysterical face. "_I'm_ the one that sent Kaworu back to where he came from, _wherever that is,"_ he pressed through her automatic denial. "Your mother went with him for some reason, and she did say 'follow me,' but..."

Asuka began cursing in German, her eyes glistening with tears. "...then send me there too!..." she exclaimed.

"You know I can't do that. We don't have control of the resets any more, for one thing, and besides, what I did to Kaworu was send him back to wherever he came from originally. Whether that's 'Avalon' or 'Paradise,' and whether those names even mean what we assume them to mean, you wouldn't necessarily go to the same place even if I _could _revert you_. _We have no idea where humans come from." He sighed. "Damn it, this is all philosophy stuff, for crying out loud…"

But Asuka was no longer listening. The fire had gone out of her eyes, and she was slumped over, tears running down her face.

"Asuka, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Shinji reached out to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged away from him, turning away and curling up on one side of the bed. He knew he had spoken in exasperation, and said the wrong thing, but he didn't know how to fix it. Slowly, he too lay down, facing the other direction, hoping she would forgive him in the morning.

_Why did I even come here? _Asuka thought, sniffling._ I should've known he wouldn't believe me…_

But she didn't leave. Part of her needed the physical nearness after all.

* * *

Touji quietly slipped the door shut, hoping he wouldn't wake Keiko. He had stayed by Hikari's stasis chamber until the nurse had come to tell him that she would probably be in that state atleast until the morning. Utterly exhausted, he slipped off his clothes, put on his sleeping shorts and shirt, and lay down. He had just turned over when he caught sight of Keiko's small form standing in the doorway. He sat back up. "What is it?" he asked softly.

She looked at him with large, round eyes, not saying a word. She finally came over and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at her lap.

"What is it, Keiko?" he asked gently.

She finally looked up. "Why do you glow?" she asked.

That startled him. He found his voice after a few moments. "You… you saw that, did you? "She continued looking at him. He tried to find the right words. _How in the world is it that I have to be the one to have this conversation with her? I don't understand love, and I'm in the middle of it…_ "Umm, it's kind of hard to explain. I… have feelings for Hikari. We share something special."

"I've never seen anyone else glow…" she murmured. Touji found himself wishing his mother were here in person. "It's… because you love her, isn't it?" she asked.

Touji blushed slightly. "Y-yeah, it is."

"Don't you love _me_?"

"You know I do!" he said, perhaps a little to forcefully. "Yes," he said, more gently.

"Then why… you've never…" Keiko's eyes glistened, her voice sad. She knew her brother loved her, but why had he never shared something like this with her?

"No! It's not like that. I didn't know anything about this before. It's Hikari who showed _me_ how to… glow."

As he tried to find the right words, she suddenly reached over, grabbing his hand and putting it over her heart, reaching her other hand up to his own heart. Touji didn't know what to do, so he just sat there. After several moments he was able to see the glistening thread binding them. _I… I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'd do anything to keep her safe._ A warm feeling of peace settled over them, and he felt her crying silently. After several minutes, she dropped her hands, reaching out and hugging him. _"Th-thank you, brother…"_

"_You know I'll always love you and protect you," _he answered.

"_I… I know."_ She pulled back, then her eyes widened as she realized they'd been speaking mind to mind. She threw her arms around him again, and he hugged her back, feeling her child-like happiness and wonder at this totally novel experience. _"I'll… be able to talk to you, wherever you are now… won't I?"_

"_I think so,"_ he answered.

"_I love you, brother."_

He felt her tears wet his shirt, and he was relieved that the situation seemed to be resolved without him accidentally hurting her feelings.

* * *

As the morning sun streamed into his room, Shinji lay, thinking, going over and over the burst of images from Kaworu. _The Angels were trying to retrieve Adam. The Dirac Sea Angel had held his Eva. The moon was somehow a gateway to Avalon, whatever that meant._ And Kyoko _had_ said 'follow me.' But what did it all mean? How were they supposed to follow her? As his thoughts ran around each other, a comment Ritsuko had made popped into his mind. In the original time-line, she had theorized that the Dirac Sea could… somehow lead to another universe. Of course, he himself had not seen any such thing inside the infinitely empty space. The Angel had swallowed him, and then had sat there. Waiting. His fellow pilots had escaped, and he had eventually been rescued… The others had escaped. What if they too had been swallowed? Could the Angel have been waiting for the others to join him inside? He turned, shaking Asuka.

"Mama… whuzza… huh?" She slowly came awake, turning over to face him, her red hair falling over the pillow.

"Asuka, you were right! What if the Dirac Sea Angel leads to… to…" he explained his reasoning.

The sleepiness left her face as she gripped his forearms, her eyes lighting up. "That could be it…" she breathed.

"That explains the entire message," Shinji said excitedly. "The Angels… have been trying to retrieve Adam. The one that attacked the fleet that was transporting your Eva must have been after Adam as well. Maybe that was when Adam was first transferred over to NERV."

"But what about the Angels before that one?" Asuka asked

Shinji thought for a few moments. "Lilith is down in Terminal Dogma… could they be after her as well?"

"The message didn't mention Lilith," Asuka murmured. She thought for a moment. "Wait, all the Evas except for yours are clones of Adam. Could the Angels be after them too?"

"I…"

"Shinji!" Misato's muffled voice came through the door.

"Y-yes ma'am?" he called back, startled.

She slid the door aside. She wore her NERV uniform, her mouth a hard line, meaning she was already in 'professional mode.' "Oh, good you're awake. We've got to…" her demeanor cracked when she saw who was sharing Shinji's bed. "Asuka! You're here? Y-you two didn't…"

Shinji's eyes bulged. "N-n…."

Asuka's fist lashed out, toppling him and keeping him from speaking. "What do you care if we did or not?" she asked, her voice stony, her fist still held out, Shinji lying in a heap on the bed. "Honestly, the way you and Kaji behave, it's kind of hypocritical to…"

Misato's face slowly fell, her eyebrow twitching. "Oh never mind…" she said in a small voice. With some effort she put her professional mask back on. "Look, we've got to get to NERV HQ, the Commander wants to speak to all of us."

"Good," Shinji said, picking himself up and rubbing the side of his head, glancing side-long at Asuka. "_We_ want to talk to _him._"

* * *

All of the pilots, and Ritsuko, and Misato sat around the large conference-room table adjoining Gendo's cavernous office. Gendo sat at the head of the table, Yui on his right and Fuyutski on his left. He had just finished explaining Kaji's message to them all.

"…I myself am not going to be able to explain or hide all of this. I'm… open to suggestions."

Fuyutski's eyes bulged, hearing those words. _Gendo's opening up? Asking for help? That's…_ Then he noticed Yui's eyebrows drawn together, and her thinned lips. _Oh. I guess he's vulnerable to women just like the rest of us. Or he's atleast vulnerable to that one, anyway…_

Asuka smiled a self-confident smile, and folded her arms. "Shinji and I have it all figured out," she said proudly. She told them of the message from Kyoko, and their interpretation of it. The table erupted into pandemonium.

"That's the most insane thing I've heard all week," Fuyutski ground out, "And it's been quite a week!"

"I… I know I said that the Dirac Sea could lead to other realities," Ritsuko stuttered, "But that was just a theory! What if you're wrong?"

"What if they're right?" Gendo's firm voice put a stop to all the conversation. It pained him to have to put his hopes in such an outlandish scheme, but after seeing Yui returned to him, he refused reject anything out of hand.

"But we have no pilot for Unit-00!" Misato argued.

Ritsuko's face dropped. She wanted to pilot it, but that would mean signing on to this wild idea. She wrestled with it for a while, but the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced of the hopelessness of the situation. The Committee would take her, Shinji, and anyone else involved, including the Evas, and tear them apart cell by cell. And there would be nothing anybody could do about it. "I… might be able to pilot it," she spoke up over the arguing.

"What!?" Fuyutski exclaimed in surprise. "Look, just because you inhabit Rei's body…"

"That's my mother in that Eva!" Ritsuko snapped, her eyes boring into his. They both knew well the connection between the pilot and the soul contained in the core. It was one of the ugly secrets of the Eva project.

"She's… got a point, Fuyutski-sensei," Gendo spoke. He had never thought he would see the day when the Eva's dirtiest laundry was brought out into the open. He was surprised at how well the pilots had taken it.

The old man sighed. –sensei. _Well, the situation is dire enough for it,_ he supposed. "Fine. But what about pilot data? Surely you can't use Rei's…"

Ritsuko turned to Gendo. "It will take several hours to gather it. I suggest we start now. After all, who knows when the Dirac Sea Angel will attack?"

"Well, it should be any day now if it follows schedule," Shinji answered helpfully. "Today, actually, if it follows it exactly…" he trailed off, realizing that not everybody at the table knew about the resets.

Gendo looked at his son quizzically. "How do you know that? Have you seen a copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

"Oh, umm… Wait, the Scrolls? What are…"

Yui looked from one of them to the other, her expression hard. "I think you two need to come clean with each other."

Gendo and Shinji sweat-dropped, knowing they wouldn't be able to argue with that tone of voice. Or the woman who used it.

After Gendo explained everything he knew about Adam, Lilith, and the Committee, Shinji explained the resets, and Fuyutski once again had to scrape his jaw off the table with a spatula. Gendo had gone back to resting his hands in front of his face, and his elbows on the table, such was his shock. _Well, that partly explains why the pilots are so calm. They've been doing this for a very long time now…_ So Shinji had reverted Kaworu back to where he came from. And Kyoko had gone with him. And that was apparently exactly when Adam's embryonic form had disappeared from his hand. And they wanted to try to follow Kaworu to… wherever he had gone. _They want to go to wherever the Angels originate,_ Gendo forced himself to acknowledge the strange, almost-philosophical thought. It… unfortunately it made perfect sense, and was an easy resolution to the problem. They would all be gone, swallowed up by the Dirac Sea, and he'd easily be able to explain how he'd lost all his Evas to the strange Angel. Oh, there'd be hell to pay, but atleast none of them would have to suffer at SEELE's hands. If it worked.

He cleared his throat, coming to a decision. "All the pilots must go. You as well, Ritsuko. Misato…" He looked at his Operations Director, who had gone inexplicably silent. She had rested her elbows on the table, and her chin on her hands, and was staring off into the distance. Her entire world had just been turned upside down. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to accept any theory that had the Angels being anything but evil. She had spent her entire life fighting them.

_She should go,_ Gendo thought._ She's been through so much… Who knows what SEELE will do when they get here? She doesn't need to go through that._ "Major, you should go as well."

Touji spoke up, "I'm not leaving my little sister." His voice was thick with emotion.

"Why should you have to?" Gendo asked.

Touji looked down. He hadn't considered the possibility of taking her with them. It was dangerous. It might not even work. But he couldn't leave his Eva here, or the Angels might still come. And SEELE, whoever they were, sounded bad enough. He wouldn't be able to protect his sister even if he stayed behind. He looked up. "If she can go with us… then I…" He couldn't continue, but Gendo nodded.

"This… this is a suicide mission," Misato mumbled.

Ritsuko laid a hand on her shoulder. "You've proposed plenty of those in the past, if I recall," she said with a smile.

* * *

Kaji stood by Gendo and Fuyutski in the control room as a sweating Maya Ibuki frantically tried to watch every screen at once. Her Sempai was on the other side of the glass, in Unit-00's simulation plug, while the newly-re-initialize MAGI were busy recording pilot data from her brain-waves. Kensuke sat at a console next to her, a slightly bemused Lieutenant Hyuga glancing at him every once in a while from where he sat at his own console. _Is this my replacement?_ he couldn't help but wonder. The boy had almost single-handedly restored the MAGI that morning. He had been there before anyone else arrived. God only knew how he'd gotten into NERV. _He probably swiped Ritsuko's security card._ It was obvious the two of them were an item now. Despite the fact that they were the same physical age now, he shivered slightly at how perverse it seemed, the feeling mixed with a slight amount of envy. _Lucky kid…_ If only he himself could have such luck with Misato. With a sinking heart, he knew it would never happen. And yet he could not put her from his mind. He glanced over to where she stood, overseeing the experiment, her dark purple hair moving slightly amidst the currents caused by the air-circulation systems. _I'll always love her. I don't care if she never returns it…_ Blinking away moisture in his eyes, he turned back to his own readouts. He was still totally oblivious to Maya's similar thoughts about him, a short distance away.

"Do you really think this wild plan will work?" Kaji asked Gendo. The man's grim smile was his only answer. Kaji had arrived by hypersonic transport barely an hour ago, and had briefed the man more fully. Gendo had given Kaji a briefing of his own, relating everything that had been said in the meeting. And had given him the forged and backdated papers making him head of DSI. That, atleast, was a trivial cover-up that was still within Gendo's power. The Committee representative was due to arrive later that day. Kaji stood, trying to make sense of everything he had been told.

* * *

Maya was beyond frazzled. After successfully gathering the pilot data for Ritsuko, they had begun doing test-insertions of the entry plugs with the pilots and passengers, and that was when things had started to go wrong. Ritsuko managed to synch with Unit-00 with Kensuke in the plug with her, but Unit-01 had begun rejecting Shinji when he, Asuka, Misato, and Kaji had gotten into his entry plug and tried to activate. "I don't understand…" Ritsuko mumbled to herself, staring at the readouts before her. The pulses had, as ususal, stopped before reaching the Absolute Borderline. "Kaji, step out of the plug, and let's try it again."

After Shinji had ejected the plug and let the man out, Misato was about to exit as well, When Ritsuko's voice stopped her. "No, Misato, you stay in."

The woman paused, then sat back down behind the two pilots.

"Reinserting plug," Maya's voice came over the speakers. "Initializing nerve impulses. First Contact achieved…"

The steps went by, one after another. "zero point five, zero point three, zero point two, zero point one… Eva has activated!" Maya exclaimed, as the pulses rushed past the Borderline.

"Is there a limit on the number of people in the entry plug?" Ritsuko wondered.

Ritsuko then attempted to synchronize with her Eva with Kaji in the entry plug along with her and Kensuke, but was unsuccessful.

"I… just don't understand," she mumbled, dripping LCL and looking over Maya's shoulder, having just exited Unit-00.

"Unit-00 is only a prototype after all," Maya commented. "Maybe that makes a difference. Unit-01 and the production models can handle three people in the entry plug, but maybe Unit-00 can only handle two?"

Ritsuko shrugged. "At this point, your guess is as good as mine…"

Maya looked up, concern in her eyes. "Sempai, if this works, you'll be gone. I'll have to… you won't be…"

Ritsuko put her hand on her student's shoulder. "You're ready, Maya. I know you can handle it."

Maya smiled tremulously at the woman who had been her mentor for the past several years. Ritsuko leaned over and hugged her, and Maya ignored the LCL dripping onto her uniform. "But what if it doesn't work?" she asked, sniffling.

"Don't think about it. I trust Shinji. It'll work," Ritsuko answered, and realized it was the truth. Her doubts vanished as she held her pupil.

"Even if it does, will I ever… see you again?" Maya asked, pulling away, her eyes glistening.

"I don't know." She smiled. "I hope so." Her face almost broke. "I'm truly sorry to dump all of this on you, while I run off to… to…" She had never considered herself a religious person. Still didn't.

"Sempai, do you think you're really going to… Heaven?"

"I just don't know," Ritsuko answered. She seemed to be saying that a lot lately. "But… I'm excited to find out."

"But, we've been fighting the Angels for so long, do you think…"

"I have no idea what they'll do. But I've resigned myself to whatever happens," she answered sadly. "For what I've done, I deserve…"

"Ssh," Maya said, holding the woman's small form.

* * *

Touji, Hikari, and Keiko lay in Unit-03's entry plug as Touji attempted to synchronize. Ritsuko stood in the control room, watching over the final experiment, Maya and Hyuga at their usual consoles. Kaji stood holding Misato's hand, both of them already having cleaned up after their experiment with Shinji. Kaji knew that he couldn't have gone even if it had been possible. It would have raised too many questions. And yet he still felt a slight let-down. The pilots (and Misato) were traveling into the unknown, and he didn't want Misato to face it alone. He truly cared for her, despite his outward 'womanizer' persona.

She gripped his hand tightly, thinking similar thoughts. She had felt a physical pain in the center of her being when she saw that there wasn't going to be room for him aboard the available Evas. Unit-00 would hold Kensuke and Ritsuko, Unit-01 would hold Shinji, Asuka, and her, and Unit-03 would carry Touji, Hikari, and little Keiko, Touji's sister. _If only Unit-02 had survived. We'd have all the space we needed…_ she thought glumly. She had initially argued, telling Yui to take her place, but the woman had refused.

"_I've already left Gendo's side once, and he almost destroyed the world. You go, Misato."_

Part of Kaji was glad Misato was going, even though it tore at him. When SEELE arrived, things would change, undoubtedly for the worse. He didn't want to see her put through any more hardship. She had already survived Second Impact, and it had left her with an Aphasia that had taken years to overcome.

* * *

Touji looked back at his sister, who wore a swimsuit and A10 clips. "You okay back there, kiddo?" The little girl had turned her round eyes on Misato, and the woman had melted. _To hell with the regulations,_ she had thought, giving the girl a set of spare A10 clips.

"Y-yeah. This stuff smells weird, but… I'm okay," her voice was slightly muffled by the LCL.

He turned back around and sat down in the seat, Hikari beside him. He put his arm around her and closed his eyes. Keiko watched wide-eyed as rainbow lights and flashes of unusual shapes raced up and down the entry plug. Several minutes later, it all went dark.

"Good job, Touji," Ritsuko's voice echoed through the plug. "You can all come out now."

It was at that point that alarms began sounding in the background.

"No!" Ritsuko exclaimed.

"Angel attack? Is it here already?" Misato's hysterical voice came over the plug-speakers.

"Touji, we're going to have to launch right now." Ritsuko's voice was rushed but business-like.

"A-are you serious?" he asked. "Is everybody…"

"They're all here." Several moments of silence. "We're all moving out immediately. There's no more time." Touji was stunned. He wouldn't even get a chance to say goodbye to anybody at school. Not that they'd have understood anyway… But he could've atleast said goodbye. He thought back to only an hour before when he'd picked up Keiko from her classes on the other side of school to bring her here for the test.

"_Keiko… we're going to… go on a trip." He was crouched down, his hands on his sister's shoulders, looking into her solemn eyes. "It might be a little scary, but we're going to see Ma again, if this works." He hated to say it this way, but he wouldn't lie to the girl. "There's… a chance we might all die, but if I'm not going to leave you here alone. So I want you to go with me." She nodded, her face wavering only slightly. "If we both stayed, I wouldn't be able to protect you from bad people who are coming, so that's why we're leaving."_

_Eventually Keiko found her voice. "Isn't mommy… gone?" she paused, her mouth trembling. "Dead?" She managed to say the word._

"_She… is, but… it's complicated. She's inside a machine. That I pilot. It's my job… Look, I know I'm not making much sense, but our mother's soul is inside a giant battle machine. I pilot it against monsters that are trying to kill us all." He didn't know how to explain that the Angels might not be their enemies after all, since he was still confused on that part himself. "I'm sorry I never told you before," he said, pulling his sister into a hug. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but I should have told you. I'm so sorry…" He heard her sniffle against his shoulder._

Touji turned back around to face his sister. "Be brave, Keiko. Whatever happens, we'll all be together."

"I love you, brother," he heard her muffled voice, thick with emotion.

* * *

Kaji stood on the scaffolding in the Eva holding cage, tears in his eyes, watching Misato lower herself into Unit-01's entry plug. Despite his earlier thoughts, he wished things could have been different. But this was for the best. Unit-00's plug rose into the air, a crane lifting it up and over towards its matching Eva.

_You're going to Heaven, Misato. I'll… eventually meet you there. _ Kaji tried to say the words in his usual glib voice, but he could not. Unit-01's plug began to rise into the air. His and Misato's eyes locked, and as he opened his mouth to once again try to voice his unspoken thoughts, he saw her lift herself and jump lightly down to the deck.

"Misato, no!" he ran forward, grasping her hands. He looked around desperately, but knew that there was no stopping the entry plug to let her back on. She had tears in her eyes as well. "You don't know what SEELE will do to us, when they get here…" his voice broke.

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she smiled. "We'll face it together."

She turned, putting her arm around his waist, and he put his arm around hers, and together they watched the entry plugs move out over the lake of purple coolant towards the massive Evangelions. Minutes later, as the plugs twisted into place, they turned, walking towards Central Dogma, hand in hand.

* * *

Kaji and Misato stepped out onto Balthasar's processor-block bridge. Maya turned, her eyes widening. "Major…" she whispered, "you're not…"

"No," Misato answered softly. She looked around Central Dogma. _It's just not the same without Ritsuko. Nothing is going to be the same after today…_

The woman turned slowly back to her console. Looking out over the vast, empty space in which Central Dogma's four bridges sat, the three Evas, now become arks for a very small portion of humanity, could be seen standing side by side below their launch tunnels. Status reports buzzed from the intercoms, as the restraining bolts were attached, and the final launch preparations were made.

"Launch Evas!" Gendo ordered, from the bridge above.

The three massive hybrids shot up the launch rails in a shower of sparks. In the sudden silence, other reports could be heard.

"The hypersonic transport is unable to stay aloft any longer. The pilot is bringing it in regardless of the presence of the Angel."

"Damn," Kaji heard Fuyutski mutter. "Divert the transport as best you can out of the way of the projected path of the Angel!"

"Yes sir!"

So SEELE has finally arrived…

* * *

Keiko lay flat against the curved surface of the entry plug behind the pilot's seat, gasping in shock at the g-forces pressing down upon her. It seemed to go on forever, but with a rattle, the Eva finally slammed to a stop in the armored entry point, the LCL cushioning her, preventing her from being slammed into the top of the entry plug. Hikari turned her head in concern.

"Are you okay back there??"

"Y-yes. I'm fine," she answered as the cross-hatched armored doors slid open, and Touji began to walk the Eva out towards the zebra-striped sphere hovering in the distance. Keiko picked herself up and looked around the edge of the pilot's seat in awe at the sight.

* * *

Gendo stood and watched as the three Evas walked out towards the floating sphere. He knew from the Scrolls how this Angel was likely to operate. He knew from Shinji's own description as well. It still didn't alleviate his unease. He already had a reasonably logical cover story prepared. Ritsuko would reportedly be in a mobile command center, taking closer readings on the Angel, where she would be swallowed up by the Dirac Sea. It was trivial enough to explain the disappearance of Hikari, Kensuke, and Keiko through mundane accidents. Asuka would reportedly be with Ritsuko in the doomed mobile command center. All records concerning Shinji's and Ritsuko's transformation would be erased. Rei would reportedly be piloting Unit-00, of course. All the Evas would be swallowed by the Dirac Sea during the 'battle.' That part, atleast, would be the truth.

The three war machines now stood below the giant shadow. A black film spread below them, and they began to sink into its embrace. Units-00 and –03 ejected their umbilicals, the retro-rockets flaring slightly before settling them to the street. Maya gasped as the Evas began to disappear from view, and even Hyuga cursed softly. As the Eva's heads sank below the surface, the black murk suddenly flashed, turning mirror-silver. Gendo felt Yui take his hand as the sphere-shadow began to rise into the air. He looked over at Yui, who had tears running down her face as she watched the Children take their leave of the earth, for which they had so long fought and suffered. His own heart lifted slightly, and he allowed himself hope. The Angel's actions had already diverged from Shinji's description of what had happened in the original time-line. At that time, the Angel had simply sat there, after swallowing Shinji's Eva. Now, the silver surface on the ground had disappeared, and the rising spherical shadow-body was almost too small to visibly track. The sun had already dipped below the horizon, and the moon, almost completely full, was shining brightly in the waning light. The small dot that was Leliel rose ever higher towards the stark white lunar body.

* * *

Interlude

Touji felt a moment's panic as he sank into Leliel's Ocean, but he had done all of this before. He felt Hikari grip his hand tightly. The two of them shared the pilot's seat, and Keiko's head peered around from the back. He felt the utter blackness consume them, just as he remembered, and for several moments, he feared that all was lost. And then the entry plug disappeared around them. He found himself in a large spherical chamber hovering over the city. He was standing on a translucent, flat surface in the middle of the sphere, which was itself translucent, giving him a stunning view of the city beneath, and the star-filled sky above. The sky was dominated by the bright, whitish-gray moon. Was Keiko still in the entry plug? For that matter, what about Hikari? As if in answer, he felt a small hand take his, and he gasped, looking down to his left.

"Keiko…"

She looked up at him and smiled. Hikari took his right hand. Then another figure wavered into view, and he smiled. "Ma…"

Keiko's hand slipped from his grasp as she ran to the mother she had known for such a short time before being torn from her life. "Mommy!" she cried as she ran, and the woman bent down, arms outstretched, and gathered her daughter into her embrace. She stood, lifting Keiko's small form, and her eyes glistened as she looked over her daughter's shoulder to see Touji and Hikari, arms around each other's waists, happiness radiating from their faces.

Shinji looked out over the planet that he had so long protected, and felt a kind of heaviness in his heart. Despite the wondrous circumstances, his mother and father were still down there. And he had let down the most precious person he had in the world. "Asuka, I'm sorry I doubted you. I… don't know how you'll ever forgive me."

Asuka sighed, slight exasperation mixing with the joy she now felt. "All you have to do is ask, Third."

He turned, taking her hands in his. "Will you?"

"Will I what?" she asked, turning to face him with a smile.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked.

He saw peace in her eyes as she looked up into his. "Yes. I will."

Kensuke looked around at his fellow pilots, their passengers, and the women who were the Evangelion's souls. To be present at such a unique and historical event, it was every scientist's dream. And he, Kensuke, was here. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Naoko approach Ritsuko, slap her, and then moments later, embrace her warmly. The earth receded beneath them as they accelerated towards their luminescent goal. As the moon grew larger, it began to shine more and more brightly, until the whiteness washed out everything. The sensation of movement seemed to increase dramatically, and then the brightness somehow increased several-fold, before dimming to dead black.


	47. Chapter 47: Avalon's Shore

Chapter 47

Kuzou Fuyutski sits in the mostly deserted tram-line car, as it moved smoothly along the often-traveled track, towards the district in which he lived. His usual newspaper sits on his lap, but he has not opened it. The blue padded bench that runs along the entire length of each side of the train offers little in the way of comfort, but the man has ridden this tram-line so many times, he does not notice. On this day, however, if he were sitting on bare metal, he would not notice, such is the mental turmoil he is experiencing.

_I work at NERV. We battle Angels, gigantic alien invaders, supposedly following a Scenario laid out by a top-secret organization. This Scenario was derived from predictions from ancient artifacts, and this is all made possible because we cloned a god, and can download human minds and souls._

_How is it that I can be this shocked? I thought I had seen it all. Now I have to deal with time-travel, body-switching, half my staff ascending to what might be Heaven..._

_We have no more Evas. What if we're attacked?_

He shivered. If Gendo was right, there would be no more attacks, since Adam's embryonic form had been sent back to the Angel's origin along with all of the Adam-clones.

_All of them except Units-05, -06, and all the Mass Production Evas. But those aren't at NERV._

_Well, atleast NERV is safe, then._

He chuckled at that ludicrous thought. NERV would never be safe. Not while the Old Men of the Committee were still around.

_Flashback_

_Fuyutski is surprised to hear someone step onto the usually vacant train car he occupies. "...hm?" He lowers his newspaper slightly so that he can peer over the top of it._

"_Oh! Commander Fuyutski!" Ritsuko's surprised face greets him. Well, the part of her face that he can see. Half of it is obscured by the enormous bag of pressed laundry she is carrying. "Good morning, sir." She turns aside to occupy a section of the long, blue padded bench seat, shifting her load so that it does not spill as she sits down. As she moves aside, Lieutenants Maya Ibuku and Aoba Shigeru are revealed, each carrying their own load of now-clean laundry. Seeing the Sub-Commander, they stand at attention, their eyes fixed on a spot on the wall behind which Fuyutski sits._

"_Good morning, Sir!" they exclaim in unison._

_Fuyutski cannot bring himself to do more than respond in his usual droll voice, heavily laced with the boredom he feels. "...mhmm. Good morning." He does feel a slight twinge of amusement at their antics as he raises the paper once more._

_As the door closes, and Ritsuko seats herself, barely keeping her clothes from scattering as the train starts to move, she speaks. "Well! You're up early today, sir."_

_Fuyutski resigns himself to the conversation, but does not look away from his paper. "I've got to represent Commander Ikari uptown." His tone and inflection show just how dull he expects the assignment to be._

"_Ah, today's the City Council meeting, isn't it?" Ritsuko asks, and now Fuyutski can clearly hear her snide amusement. She knows good and well exactly how useless the assignment is. The City Council is run by the MAGI, after all, and she is the brainchild behind the MAGI._

"_An exercise in ennui," Fuyutski admits with a sigh, knowing it is fruitless to try to verbally spar with the woman. "Ikari always sticks me with the most boring and tedious assignments."_

_End Flashback_

Fuyutski would give anything to be stuck with a boring and tedious assignment right about now. Anything would be preferable to the mindbending horror he is being forced to oversee.

"Isn't this your stop?"

Fuyutski jumps slightly, despite himself. He had not even noticed that the train had come to a stop. He looks over to his left, to see a man sitting there, looking for all the world like he'd grown there. Fuyutski can find nothing about the man that would make him stand out in a crowd. Average height, build, black hair, middle aged. But something about the man is off.

_How could I have missed him?_

The man stands, and with the movement, he realizes. The eyes. His eyes are cold and hard. Fuyutski stands automatically, after all, this _is_ his stop. As he exits the train, he is flanked by two more men. No one has even touched him, but Fuyutski finds himself being led towards a nondescript, black sedan. A chill crawls up his spine.

* * *

Gendo stands in the elevator, the only sound being the hum of the machinery and the incessant ticking of the floor indicator as it moves from number to number. His thoughts are only partially interrupted when he feels the elevator come to a halt. The door opens, but he doesn't recognize the new passenger, who walks smoothly into the small compartment and turns around, so that he too is facing the doorway. Gendo is just about to return to his thoughts when he notices that the man has not chosen a destination.

"Commander Gendo Ikari."

"The Committee's representative, I presume." He betrays no emotion in his voice or in his face. This meeting was only a matter of time.

"Excellent skills of observation and deduction. I would expect no less from the former Commander of NERV." The man has not identified himself. He does not have to do so, and it is obvious from his demeanor that to ask would be to invite repercussions.

"Former?" It would be expected of him to question such an announcement, and so Gendo does. He is not truly surprised. Indeed, truth be told, he feels a slight relief. He makes sure to put a very slight amount of surprised hurt into his tone.

"You have two choices. Resign your post here, or face court-martial."

"I'll resign. But may I ask what the charges were?" There is a danger to asking the question, but he has a feeling he may not get another chance. And even if he did, at that time, the answer might not be so forthcoming.

His counterpart's face finally betrayed a hint of a smile. "You didn't actually think you could hide it from us." Gendo is not fooled by the bravado. The man knows something, but how much? He obviously thinks he knows it all, or almost all, or they would be having this conversation in a different setting. Probably an interrogation chamber. "The only reason we haven't taken Yui is because we know there is nothing to be gained from studying her." For the first time in the conversation, Gendo feels a slight chill. The man's expression darkens. "The Committee would be displeased at you for losing your entire force of Evas under normal circumstances. But to lose Unit-01, after such an extraordinary event has taken place... You realize how it looks."

Gendo steels himself. "I do," he says in a voice that reeks of normalcy. The man watches him intently, but cannot find the hint of guilt that he is obviously looking for. Gendo makes no attempt at rationalizing his loss of the Evas, knowing that would probably make the man more suspicious. The man's eyebrows flicker slightly, perhaps conceding the point. "What of Sub-Commander Fuyutski?" Gendo finds himself asking. The question is slightly dangerous, but he has already spoken it. The other man turns to face him, genuine surprise crossing his face for a brief moment.

"He has already been taken care of." Gendo can't help but blanch slightly at that. The man notices this. "Come now, Gendo. We know you blackmailed him. Don't tell me you grew to trust someone you blackmailed? We've done you a favor." He smiles slightly. "Don't worry, we don't intend to call you on it in the future. Think of it as a... parting gift." The door opens as the man is talking. Gendo realizes that except for the last part, the conversation has been scripted. It does not surprise him. He walks out of the elevator, his heart heavy.

_Fuyutski-Sensei, what have I done to you?_

"You and Yui will not be allowed to leave Tokyo-3, of course," the man says, but Gendo does not acknowledge him. His momentary grief and anger are too much.

* * *

Shinji drifted awake.

_I'm alive._

That was good news.

_I'm lying in a bed. Naked. Not a hospital bed, it feels too comfortable for that. And the atmosphere is too warm._

He slowly opened his eyes. White walls and ceiling. The room looked for all the world like a NERV hospital room, except for the window which allowed the soft sunlight to stream in. And except for the comfortable bed and warm atmosphere. Hospital rooms were always cold. Antiseptic. As he moved slightly, he marveled. The bed he was on had to be some kind of advanced memory-foam. The sheets had a satin-smooth feel to them, almost like a second skin.

He felt a slight depression in the mattress beside him. And he heard breathing. He slowly looked to his right. _That's impossible..._ he unconsciously echoed his father's words. Sky-blue hair, and calm, reposed features. He lifted a hand to her face, as if to ensure himself of her solidity. She opened her eyes at his touch. Soft red eyes. Her lips curved into a smile. They slowly reached out their arms, pulling each other close, their foreheads touching.

"_How?"_ Shinji mentally asked her, stunned past the point of feeling. A riot of joy tugged at the edges of his consciousness, but he knew if he surrendered to it, he might not recover for a very long time.

"_You ask me? You have been awake for longer than I."_ Her face was an open invitation. She felt his joy, and delicately tugged at the edges of his mind, almost forcing the issue.

"_I... I still feel exactly the same. As if we're still one being."_ He desperately fought against her subtle ministrations, feeling her rising amusement. _"Shouldn't we... discover... more about where we are..."_ He closed his eyes, concentrating. He knew he was fighting a losing battle with her, and he enjoyed every minute of it. _"...before we..."_ He felt her lips touch his own, and all thoughts fled as he melted into her. They did nothing besides kiss, but they did so very thoroughly. Or rather, she kissed him. He very quickly lost himself, her exquisite skill overcoming him.

An indeterminate amount of time later, he came back to his senses, and opened his eyes. Her face swam into view. Rei was just looking at him, joy on her features.

"_Now you know what Asuka felt, when you kissed her on the Carrier, and she fainted, so long ago."_

Shinji felt a thrill of embarrassed panic go through him, mixing with the happiness he felt. He felt her amusement at his mixed feelings. _"What, no explanation?"_ she asked mischievously.

His mind gibbered helplessly for a few confused seconds, and he felt her mental laughter. _"You're _still_ cute when you panic." _He simply looked at her, at the young woman he held in his arms, his feelings so intense they were washed out, until he was almost numb._ "Speaking of which,"_ she continued, "..._if you're in the mood for a little more panic..."_ She kind of inclined her head, as if she was looking over him to the other side of the bed. He looked questioningly at her, then turned over slightly, pulling out of her embrace for a moment. He saw the mass of red hair, and his heart leapt.

"_Asuka."_ Shinji reached out to the sleeping form to his left, pulling her to him, her red hair shimmering as it moved in the sunlight. Rising into semi-consciousness, she murmured, burrowing her head into his neck and mumbling. He rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him as she slowly awoke. Her hair cascaded to either side of him, and onto his face, as she softly kissed him not yet quite aware of what she was doing. The fog cleared from her mind, her hand rising to his face as she opened her eyes and realized who it was.

"Shinji...!" she gasped, falling off of him to the other side, and he rolled to face her. For a moment he saw a question pass over her face as she realized she was unclothed, and wondered where she was, but it disappeared, and she closed her eyes again, leaning in towards him again, finally surrendering to her feelings. As their lips moved softly against each other, exploring, Shinji felt Rei move up behind Asuka, slipping her arms around the girl's midsection and resting her head on her shoulder. Asuka's eyes snapped open. "...mmmh...!?" She turned her head slightly, seeing the blue hair tickling her shoulder. Her mouth opened in shock, separating from Shinji's. "...R-Rei...?!" she whispered in disbelief, her voice breaking up. Her blue eyes glistened, and Shinji felt her stunned surprise and happiness overcoming everything else. For a moment, anyway. As Rei took advantage of her confusion and snuggled comfortably to one side of her, and Shinji bent to trail his lips along the soft flesh of her neck and shoulder, she shuddered. "...wa-wait. ...what're you two perverts... doing...?" she managed to gasp out. Her confusion, embarrassment, and happiness mixed, filling her until she couldn't take it any more. "No...!" She squeaked, squirming in their embrace, but that didn't help. In fact, it only hurried things along.

"_Give it up, Asuka, you're trapped," _Shinji touched her mind with the message, and she felt his amusement. _"You should be happy. You _do_ remember just how much experience Rei and I have with this, right?"_

"Aaah!" she cried out reflexively arching her back as Shinji explored lower with his hands, and Rei turned her head, nuzzling her. "b-but... this isn't..." That same traitorous part of her mind that had succumbed to Shinji's kiss on the Carrier at the beginning of the resets was still at work. It froze her into indecision, as in the heat of the moment she tried to decide whether this was a good idea.

"_Oh, I get it," _Shinji said with a mental laugh. _"As long as Rei and I are one person, it's okay for us to make out, but when we're separate it's not?"_

"It's... this is..." Asuka mumbled incoherently as she felt heat and pressure building up inside her as Rei's hands moved sensuously to her chest, caressing the sensitive flesh there.

"_Yes? What's that? You've been to college, so you should be able to give me an articulate answer..."_ Shinji smiled, sensing her frustration.

Asuka tried. "I... um... uhah..." She needed more time to think, but these two with their infernally efficient skills wouldn't let her! For a few long moments she managed to fight against it, her eyes pinched shut in concentration, her breath coming in small pants as the pressure continued to build. But her bond to the two of them betrayed her, for they could feel exactly what effects their ministrations had, and adjusted accordingly.

"Gyahhh!" With an explosive gasp she lost control of herself, writhing helplessly between the two of them as the heat and pressure within her rushed past the point of no return. Each shuddering exhalation that escaped her lips became a moan that she couldn't hold back, and with the last shreds of her fraying consciousness, she clung to the thought that she would make the both of them pay dearly for this if it took her the rest of her life. Her entire body now hyper-sensitive, she squirmed uncontrollably as the sensation of the satin-smooth sheets and the soft skin of her two tormentors moving against her increased past her ability to endure it. Finally, something that felt like a supernova exploded in the center of her being, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her, and her choked cries cut off her ability to speak or think intelligibly. Each slight movement against her tender skin now lit off a torrent of exquisite agony inside of her, and as she slipped into the world of white once more, she heard someone screaming and crying in the background. After a few minutes, she realized it was her own voice.

When she drifted back to consciousness some time later, her entire body alive and sore, she found the two of them asleep one on each side of her, embracing her, each resting a head on one of her shoulders.

_Later. I'll get them back later._

She let herself fall back into a blissful sleep.

* * *

Ritsuko awoke to find Kensuke on his side, staring at her. "Careful, you're drooling," she smirked. But that didn't stop her from propping up on one elbow and taking a good, long look at him in turn.

"I wouldn't know," he answered. "These sheets seem to absorb moisture. I have no idea how it works, but swear I'm going to find out..." His glasses were nowhere to be found, but it didn't seem to matter. Somehow he could see perfectly well without them, now.

Ritsuko snorted at that, then looked behind her. "Thank God for a little peace and quiet. Who can sleep with all that yelling?"

"My yelling, or whoever that was in the next room?" Kensuke asked slyly.

"The next room, of course," she answered, reaching out and running a hand down the side of his body. "_Your _yelling I can live with..."

He closed his eyes, putting his hands around her slim waist, luxuriating in her touch.

* * *

Shinji eventually awoke, slipping himself out of the choke-hold Asuka had on him in her sleep. As he pulled himself from her arms, he heard her murmur, "...mmm... not getting away that easily..." He smiled as she stirred, coming awake as well. He turned over onto his back, putting his hands behind his head.

_We're in... Avalon, I guess, and we're alive. Safe. For once..._

"_Don't think I'm going to forget this, Third Child."_

Despite her words, she stretched luxuriously beside him, wincing slightly at the small twinges she still felt.

"_Oh, I look forward to you not forgetting. I've got to have _something_ to keep me on my toes in this nonthreatening place,"_ he replied.

"_Actually that's a good point. Hey, why do I feel..."_ She couldn't quite put it into words.

He thought for a few moments. _"I think the three of us are now joined. In some way. I still feel as if Rei and I are one, and I feel you as well. Maybe... what we did on earth wasn't the proper way to go about it. Maybe this is how it's really supposed to feel, we just didn't know how, or didn't have the right equipment."_

He felt her mental shrug, and he also felt Rei's sleepy agreement, as she came awake. _"That's probably the correct explanation,"_ Rei sent muzzily._ "We really _didn't_ know what we were doing."_

Asuka sat up, the covers slipping off of her as she looked around the room with a critical eye for the first time. _"I wonder if there are any clothes around here anywhere..."_

Shinji propped himself up on an elbow. _"Who needs clothes?"_

"_Perverted dummkoph."_ There was a little snap in her mental tone, but it also held warmth. She reached out, mussing up his hair, which had reverted to its normal black upon Rei's return. Apparently most of Rei's DNA had been separated from his. _"We'll have to leave this room at some point."_ But she didn't move to cover herself. There was no point, really, and she was comfortable around them, despite her initial confusion as she had awoken. She continued to look around. Other than the bed and the window, the room appeared empty. There were several rectangular depressed areas in the walls that were obviously doors or entryways of some kind. The bed was pushed up perpendicularly against the wall with the window in it, so that the wall was at their backs as they sat up. There was a depression in the wall to their right, and one in the wall to the front of them. Shinji enjoyed watching the wheels turn in Asuka's head. She put a hand on his chest causing him to 'oof' slightly as she slipped over him out of the bed and walked over to the window. He saw her eyes widen. He got out of bed and joined her, as did Rei moments later.

He was looking out over the weirdest city he had ever seen. It was all shimmering spires rising out of thick forests below. In the distance he could see a curve of blue water over the edge of the trees, which seemed to indicate a beach somewhere out there. The trees covered the ground completely as far as he could see, but he doubted they grew out of water. So there was probably land beneath the trees. The towers were scattered about in a fairly uniform manner and came in many different heights, ranging from barely reaching above the tree-line to threads that seemed to touch the thin clouds high in the sky.

"_Avalon."_ Rei's mental voice.

"_I'm not feeling any urges to worship some kind of higher power,"_ Asuka's awed tone was slightly sarcastic.

"_Kensuke is probably ready to worship whoever built all this."_ Shinji's mental tone held some amusement.

Asuka snorted, turning away to look around the room, her hands on her hips. She now had a good idea of the layout. Shinji turned, following her gaze. She pointed to the depression opposite the window. _"That leads out to a hall. All the living quarters are probably situated around the edges of the spires so that each room can have a window, so the hall is probably circular." _She turned to walk towards the remaining depression. _"Which leaves this to be the closet."_

"_Why wouldn't it lead to the next room over?"_ Shinji asked.

"_It could,"_ Asuka admitted. _"But there isn't one on the other side of the room, so I doubt it."_

As she walked up, the depression slid aside into the wall. _"Aha!" _She walked in and rummaged around inside, and Shinji turned back to look out the window. _"They're all white!"_ she moaned, tossing a long, flowing garment out onto the bed. She went inside the closet, and came out a half minute later wearing underwear. White, of course. Shinji looked away from the window to see her slipping her arms into the long, robe-like garment, fastening it around her waist with a soft belt. _"This stuff is pretty thick. It's probably going to be... hey!" _she exclaimed. _"It's... climate controlled somehow. It's like I'm not even wearing anything."_

Shinji walked over to the closet and looked in, Rei behind him. Inside the small area was a short, square dresser that appeared to hold underwear. He looked through the drawers until he found the ones for the correct gender, and pulled on shorts and a t-shirt. The material was the same as the silky sheets. It was slightly loose at first, but seemed to adjust itself. He looked up over at the sets of white robes hanging in the closet. He took one down, slipping his arms into the sleeves. As he fastened it around his waist, he could feel the warmth of the thick material disappear suddenly. He smiled. _"Yeah, I could get used to this."_ He walked back into the closet where Rei was dressing, and bent down. There were several pairs of what looked like slippers, or house-shoes. He slipped a pair of them on and stood. They seemed to mold themselves to his feet, and the soles were apparently made of the same memory-foam that the beds used. _"I think I'm going to get spoiled."_

He felt Asuka's sudden surprise, and looked up from where he was kneeling. She was staring at the door. Which was now open. A slim female figure stood in the doorway, observing them quietly. She was dressed much as they were, and it looked like she was waiting for something, or thinking. Several seconds later he felt an ephemeral presence touch his mind.

"_Welcome."_ Her mental voice was soft._ "Come with me."_


	48. Chapter 48: Yui's Tale

Author's Notes: Ryu-Tyrrant -- Ah, a fellow C++ programmer! Well met, good sir. And for Fuyutski's adventures, read on ;-)

Chatwynn -- we may just see such a conversation in the chapters to come, as more of Avalon is explained.

Gamer -- ;-) you have a few more days if you want to guess, because the next chapter will likely go into detail about that little tidbit

* * *

Chapter 48

Earth

_The morning after the Ascension. (Ascension +1, morning)_

Misato's eyes opened, and she lay in her bed blinking her sleepiness away as the wan, morning light filtered into her room. She slowly got up and trudged into the kitchen, pulling the coffee pot from its resting place in the coffee-maker, looking at it dully before placing it under the faucet and filling it with water. She poured the water into the top of the machine, extracted a filter from the cabinet above, and measured out the appropriate amount of coffee into the filter before pressing the 'on' switch. She turned to her chair and sat down to rest for a moment, laying her head down onto her arms on the kitchen table.

_Flashback_

"_Rei's been teaching me gymnastics," Shinji said, as they sat eating breakfast._

"_Wow, what brought that on?" Misato asked in surprise._

"_Well, it's kind of a long story. Did you know she eats instant just like you used to?"_

"_Hah. So there is a certain logic to what I do!" she crowed._

"_You're not going to pull that one on me," Shinji retorted. "You two did have a lot of similar habits, but your reasons and hers are totally different. And besides that, she's actually started to change her lifestyle."_

_Misato's eyebrow began twitching. "Hey, I've changed. A little."_

_Shinji smirked. "Yeah, you've mostly changed to doing the things I don't like only when I'm not around..." he dodged the balled up napkin she threw at him._

_End Flashback_

She sighed to herself as the aroma of the brewing coffee grew stronger. She barely opened the Yebisu refrigerator these days. Or atleast not in the mornings.

_Did I make the right choice?_

She had followed her heart, and stayed with Kaji. She didn't regret that.

_I just wish I knew for sure where the Children were. And if they're okay._

Ritsuko was with them. She'd have to trust her friend to take care of them. Trust. Shinji/Rei had presented her with a very bleak picture of what had happened in the original time-line. Kaji's death. Ritsuko keeping her in the dark concerning so many things happening at NERV. Ritsuko's attempt to self-destruct NERV, and her subsequent death. She found it hard to believe that her friend would commit such acts. She shuddered slightly, the chuckle dying in her throat, almost becoming a sob.

_I shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point, after what I've seen._

The early signs of Ritsuko's deception had been there, even in this time-line. Misato had been among the last to find out about Touji being the Fourth Child. Technically _had_ been the last, since the other Children knew, they having already gone through those events before. Her mouth quirked into a sad smile. She heard someone moving behind her. The scrape of coffee cups being taken from their place in the cabinet. The sound of pouring liquid. She raised her head at the 'clunk' of a full coffee cup being set beside her.

"Well, you're up early today." Kaji sat down opposite her at the table, his voice cheerful and casual as always. He lifted his cup, taking a sip as he leaned back in the chair. She reached out for own cup, drinking half of it before setting it back down with a sigh. The little things he did, the mannerisms she recognized as his own, reminded her of simpler times. The coffee, and Kaji's actions, lifted her gloomy spirits slightly.

"What'cha want for breakfast?" she asked, standing and stretching.

"I'll have whatever you're having, beautiful." His confident grin brought her most of the way back to her usual self.

_Same old Kaji._

She walked over around behind him, leaning over and putting her arms around his shoulders, his unshaved face tickling hers. "If I somehow find out you've been in the time-loop all this time, I'm going to murder you," she murmured. "You're my last link to normalcy around here."

"No need to worry about _that_..." She felt him smile against her cheek, his voice ironic.

"Do I even have a job any more?" she wondered aloud, releasing him and moving slowly to the refrigerator. "What 'operations' will I 'direct' with no Evas?"

"No need to be so depressing. Why, I'll bet your desk is just covered with paperwork right about now!"

Misato snorted, and briefly considered strangling the cheerfulness from his voice. She pulled the refrigerator open, taking out the bread and setting it on the counter. "Don't remind me. How the heck am I supposed to file the pilots? MIA?" She bent down to retrieve the package of sausages, then stood, setting it beside the bread.

"You might want to be a little more careful with your words." She jumped at his soft voice directly beside her ear, but didn't turn around. "Are you sure this apartment is secure?"

She reached out, picking up two eggs. She assumed it was secure, thinking back to when Shinji and Asuka had talked with her about the resets over breakfast the morning after she had entered the time-loop.

_Well, I haven't been hauled away and locked up. Still..._

She felt him move away, going back to sit down. She cracked the two eggs over the frying pan.

* * *

Interlude

_Earlier the previous night, a few hours after the Ascension... (Ascension +0)_

Fuyutski sat in the padded seat of the hypersonic transport, the deep rumble of the spooling-up engines reverberating through the heavily-soundproofed interior. The giant elongated delta-shaped aerospace-craft trembled with barely-restrained power at the edge of the long runway.

_Not JSSDF. Not Section Two._

_Not the Imperial Office._

That left one disturbing and impossible explanation. A small, very-well-tailored man sat down next to him. Fuyutski felt an uneasiness creep through him, as if the man carried a kind of dark aura with him wherever he went. The man set his manicured hands down on the armrests, not even looking at the Sub-Commander. "A great honor is being offered to you." The man's voice was neither soft nor loud, almost silky in quality. "Take care in how you respond to it."

Fuyutski fought against all of his screaming instincts and gave the man a fleeting glance out of the corner of his eye. The man's eyes were closed. He returned his attention to his lap with an inner sigh of relief.

_My curiosity is going to get me killed one of these days._

Curiosity was not a healthy thing to have when one worked in places like NERV. In fact, it was his curiosity that had allowed Gendo Ikari to blackmail him. He waited for the man to continue, the silence gnawing at him. The only good thing about the conversation, and the fact that he was on this plane at all, was that he would live for a little while longer.

_They wouldn't waste a transport like this just to kill me._

_Then again, I don't even know who 'they' are._

Atleast he tried to tell himself that. He had an idea. The man beside him finally spoke, and though his next words satisfied his curiosity, they also deepened the dread that was permeating him.

"SEELE has offered you a position."

Questions filled his mind, and he knew that any one of them might get him killed. He decided on the most innocuous one. "What kind of position?"

"Come now." Fuyutski could hear the frown in the man's tone. "You know that already. It is unwise to downplay your own intelligence, especially in this situation. But if that is how you want to portray yourself... SEELE has an opening. One of our number has... stepped down."

_One of your number is dead, you mean._

Fuyutski shuddered. To refuse would be death. And the appointment would be for the rest of his life, however long that turned out to be.

_Why? I can't believe they would put any trust in me. They have to know what Gendo was doing. Or atleast part of it._

Then it hit him, and the force of it was such that he spoke without thinking. "The representative you sent..." He shut his mouth abruptly regaining control of himself. He could feel the man turn and open his eyes. He continued looking down at his lap, not daring to meet the man's gaze. He could feel the man's eyes as if they were piercing his soul, seeking its secrets. After what seemed to be an eternity, the man returned his gaze forward, closing his eyes again.

"What is your answer?"

_The representative sent to NERV must have been a SEELE member after all. Kaji was mistaken. Or they lied to him._

_I'm on my own now, in any case..._

"I accept." Fuyutski wondered about his pupil back at NERV, but held his tongue.

The man did not respond. After a few moments more, he lifted himself from the seat, and walked back towards the rear of the craft.

_I wonder if they'll tell me which number I am? _his half-hysterical mind gibbered, as the bass rumble of the engines rose to a shriek, and the g-forces of take-off began pressing him into his seat.

End Interlude

* * *

_Ascension +1, Morning_

As Misato veered crazily along the mostly empty road towards NERV HQ, Kaji held on for dear life, hoping he didn't lose the breakfast the two of them had just shared. It had been a good breakfast, which was slightly unusual, since allowing Misato to cook was always an iffy thing. He saw the turn-off approaching rapidly, almost too rapidly for them to make the turn, but he resisted the urge to say something. He knew her, and he knew this was like a game of chicken. If he were to say something, such as, 'Um, Misato, remember this is the turn,' well, that would mean she had won. If he didn't say anything, then he would have won. Of course, knowing Misato, it was always possible that she had forgotten this was the turn, and she would drive even more crazily to make up for the lost time.

_Too fast. We're not going to make it. She's forgotten, this time, I think..._

"Misato..."

His eyes widened as he felt her shift in preparation.

_No, she's going to try after all...!_

There was a retaining wall blocking the way if they spun out of control. She jerked the wheel and he felt the car almost go up on its side as it screeched around the corner. The engine roared as she feathered the clutch, keeping the proper amount of traction and power through the turn. They made it. Just.

"New tires," she commented, after she had straightened the car out and was traveling at a reasonable speed again. Reasonable for Misato, anyway.

"That's cheating," Kaji said offhandedly, seeing her small smile of triumph. He closed his eyes, satisfied that even if he had lost, she was feeling better. Not her usual liveliness, but better. The usual Misato would be mercilessly gloating to him about her win.

* * *

Interlude

_Earlier in the morning... (Ascension +1)_

Gendo awoke at six as usual, but this morning he did not get up.

_Today, I'm no longer Commander Gendo Ikari. I'm just Gendo Ikari._

No more Scenario. No more planning. No more worrying about SEELE...

_No, that part is not true. As long as SEELE exists, I'll worry about them._

But he no longer had the power to do anything about it. He couldn't leave Tokyo-3. Not that he had any place specifically that he wanted to go, of course. But the human animal is a strange thing. It could go very long periods of time, trapped inside a specific routine, happy in the monotony. Change the routine, though, or even tell the human that he could no longer do a certain thing, or that he could no longer leave a certain area... What had previously been that person's entire world now became a prison. Gendo smiled grimly to himself, recognizing the symptom, and watched as it drifted away, out of his mind. Not completely, of course, but enough.

He felt Yui shift beside him. Behind him, technically. He was lying on his side, watching the clock. Six oh three in the morning.

_It's going to be a long day._

He felt Yui's hands begin to work on his stiff shoulders.

"Is it going to be so difficult, doing nothing?" she asked him.

"No," he decided. Hoped. Several minutes of silence passed, and his shoulders relaxed under her ministrations. He finally spoke. "Tell me. What was it like..."

She didn't ask what he was referring to. She didn't have to. Several more minutes passed, as she thought about his question. Pondered it.

End Interlude

* * *

_Ascension +1, late morning_

Misato dreaded going into her office to face the mammoth stacks of paperwork that surely awaited her there, and so she was putting it off for as long as possible. Her steps took her to the bridges of Central Dogma.

_It's a good idea to check with Maya before beginning the day anyway. Check on the latest scuttlebutt, listen to the latest from the grapevine..._

_Aww, heck with it. I'm stalling, I admit it._

The doors hissed open to reveal the usual array of technicians sitting at the consoles.

_Hyuga's missing. And Maya has acquired a clipboard. But no lab-coat._

Her mouth quirked slightly. Maya turned from her console briefly, acknowledging Misato's presence. "Good morning, Major." There was a slight reticence about her answer that was unlike Maya. Misato decided to put it down to the presence of the Committee representative.

_Yeah, that and every other strange occurrence that's happened in the past week._

She sighed inwardly.

_Might as well not put it off any longer._

She walked slowly to her office, as if it was her final destination. She had plenty of time to think about the mounds of paperwork awaiting her. The empty days ahead. She drew her eyebrows together, hardening her mouth to a thin line.

_That's enough._

She settled her professional mask into place. If Shinji could grow out of his gloominess, she wasn't going to slip back into it.

_The Children are going to... finish whatever it is they're doing, wherever they are, and they'll be coming back. We've got to be ready. I'm not going to let SEELE..._

Her inner reverie was interrupted as she palmed open the door. To find an empty desk.

_What the...?_

No, it wasn't completely empty. A small slip of paper sat in the middle. She picked it up, quickly reading the few words it contained.

_'Report to the Commander's office.'_

* * *

Interlude

_Ascension +1, early morning_

_Yui's Tale_

"Pain. The most extreme pain imaginable, when I first contacted Unit-01. And then joy, just as extreme, when I decided to be the Eva's soul. I could have refused, but it was as I told Shinji, only a depraved person would refuse after feeling such pain. I knew... completely... that this was what it felt at all times. What it had felt, before I contacted it. I was soon to find out that the joy was only joy when compared to the pain it had felt before. There was still pain. The constant binding of the armor. The creature's inability to fully realize its true form, because of the armor. Slowly I gained control over the creature's autonomic functions, doing what I could to relieve it... myself... of the pain I felt. Instinct, as it turns out, is impossible to eliminate, but I was able to suppress it. Atleast until I felt Shinji, when he first synchronized. His pain, if it is possible, was even worse than my own. I, atleast, was a whole being, inside this hybrid of flesh and armor. Shinji was trapped inside his own mind, his consciousness fractured by the pain of loss at such a young age. He lost both his mother and father, that day, but I think the loss of his father was the worst."

Gendo's eyes were filled with tears, but he did not interrupt. Yui felt him shake slightly, holding in the tears, trying not to disturb her story.

"That doesn't help, you know." She said, her voice soft but firm as she reached around to turn his face towards hers. "Let it out."

"I... might never see him again. Never let him know how sorry..." It didn't even sound right to apologize, not after what he had done. To the boy. To all the Children. To their mothers. Words would never be enough.

"Let it all out, husband. Or you'll never be whole."

"I don't deserve to be whole... I don't deserve to have you here with me."

She hit him sharply on the head, anger evident on her features. "Wallowing in self pity won't accomplish anything." She pulled him to her, feeling his tears in her hair. "Fortunately, what we deserve is not decided by you or me."

She held him until he stopped shaking.

End Interlude

* * *

_Ascension +1, late morning_

A stunned Misato stood in the cavernous office that used to belong to one Commander Gendo Ikari.

"You want me to... what??"

The man simply looked at her. He had read her file, and expected this reaction.

"Misato Katsuragi, you are now Commander of this base."

Her professional mask slipped back into place. "Yes sir." She stood silently for several moments, perhaps waiting for him to hit her with another shock. He waited as well. Her lips thinned. "Where is Sub-Commander Fuyutski?"

He didn't answer, and that was as good as an answer to her.

_Dead. Dead or retired. What the hell is going on here?_

Her anger grew. "Where's Commander Ikari?" It was an obvious trap, but she had to try. If the man gave an answer, it would mean his fate was different from Fuyutski's. Her eyes bored into him, as the silence grew.

_Didn't think that would work, but oh well._

"Who will be my Vice Commander? You?" She knew the question was dangerous, but at this point she didn't care.

This question actually drew a thin smile from the man. "No." He gestured, and someone stepped from the shadows, sweat beading on his face.

Her professional mask once again cracked momentarily. "Hyuga??"

* * *

Avalon

_Shortly after awakening... (Day 1, morning)_

Touji and Hikari sat in the bed in which they had awoken some time ago, their backs against the wall, cushioned by pillows. They were dressed in the thick robes they had found in the closet, and she was resting in his arms, her head against his chest.

"I can't help but worry about Nozumi and Kodama," she murmured. "I know Misato promised to look after them, but..."

"Hikari, you have to be the kindest person I've ever met," Touji said. She turned her head slightly, kissing him on the cheek. "No, I'm serious," he said, blushing slightly and laughing. "Anybody else would have thrown those two out on their heads."

"I know you don't really mean that," she said, laying her head back down on his chest.

"...mmmm. Maybe not. But that doesn't excuse the way they treat you..." He rested his chin lightly on her head, feeling her soft hair brush against his face.

The door facing them slid open almost soundlessly to reveal a man with smooth features and blond, curly hair, dressed as they were. He stood silently for several moments, observing them. _"Come with me, please."_ His mental voice was a strong tenor.

The two of them rolled out of the bed and padded over to the door as he turned to go, their soft slippers making almost no noise at all against the floor. Pausing at the doorway and looking to their left, they saw Shinji, Rei, and Asuka walking towards them down the long hall that stretched into the distance, almost seeming to curve slightly. Kensuke and Ritsuko appeared in the doorway to the room just to the left of theirs, and as they turned right, joining the procession, Touji glanced into the open doorway to the room to the right of theirs. His mother was kneeling, fastening the belt of Keiko's small robe around her waist. Keiko looked up, happiness in her eyes. _"Brother!"_ He smiled at her, waving as he and Hikari passed the doorway.

"_Looks like everyone made it okay,"_ he touched Hikari's mind with the message. She slipped her hand in his, and he felt her happiness, tinged though it was with the worry she harbored for her two sisters back on earth.

Asuka felt something niggling at the back of her mind as she followed the woman (Angel?) who moved so gracefully she seemed to flow down the hall without touching the ground.

_It's almost as if I know her..._

She had no idea what to make of it. Ritsuko, Kensuke, Hikari, and the others, and their own guardians, moved along ahead of her and her two...

_What are they? Am I married to Shinji and Rei now?_

She knew from her memories that Shinji and Rei had exchanged rings in the construct of their minds as they merged. And now the three of them were merged. Not like Shinji and Rei had been, back on earth. If Rei was to be believed, they were now merged properly. What Shinji and Rei had undergone was something undoubtedly very close to Instrumentality. Almost like a miniature Third Impact, but just between the two of them. Asuka shuddered to think of sharing herself with someone so completely like that. All of her secrets laid bare before someone else. And knowing that person's secrets.

_That just isn't... human. It's not normal._

What she felt between the three of them now, though, everything was not shared. They each had mental access to each other, and felt each other, but she knew she had the ability to keep things from them, and they had the ability to keep things from her. Her cheeks went slightly pink as she realized she _was_ keeping memories from them. Even now she could feel herself holding onto them, like someone tossed in the sea holds onto a life-raft. It made her wonder if Shinji was keeping memories from her. She almost asked him, right then. But she didn't.

_Of course he's keeping memories from me. Isn't he? If he is, what does that say about him?_

But that wasn't quite fair, she realized.

_What does it say about _me_ that I'm keeping things from _him_?_

_This is something we need to talk about. Surely he knows I'm keeping memories from him. Why hasn't he asked me about it? Doesn't he care?_

_Or is he trying to protect me again?_

She felt a slight anger, remembering how he'd hesitated telling her about her mother's 'death' after she'd awoke from her coma.

_I'm not a damned invalid._

Shinji felt her brief anger, and the welter of emotions that were passing through her, and he felt her close herself off slightly. He wished he knew what to say. The bond the three of them shared was more 'human' now. It wasn't like before, where the three of them had been slowly forced closer and closer together, their memories mixing without them realizing it. In a way, he almost longed for that type of bond, because it meant safety. It meant that nothing was held back. It meant he would know Asuka intimately, and know exactly what she was thinking, and would know what to say. What not to say. There would be no misunderstandings. It would be...

_It would be Third Impact,_ he thought glumly. _I'm wishing for Instrumentality. After all this time, have I again devolved emotionally to the point I was at so long ago where I don't want to be hurt? Where I just want it all to end?_

_No._

He felt the momentary wish slide away back into the background, its power broken (or atleast greatly lessened), now that he realized and saw it for what it was.

_For us to be forced together like that, it wouldn't be a relationship. It would feel good, but the human factor wouldn't be there. And I'd never know if she truly wanted it, or if it was all caused by the bond._

His thoughts were interrupted by Kensuke, who had begun pestering the Angel nearest him with questions.

"What's going on back on earth while we're here?" he asked.

"It does not matter." The Angel's answer. Out loud, surprisingly.

"It doesn't? Why not?"

"Time flows differently."

"What? That's kind of a vague..."

"You will have all the time you need."

"Oh, you mean time is moving at a different rate here and there." A slight pause. "Do you have pills or something so I don't have to eat or sleep?"

"Yes."

"Can I...?"

"No."

(Muttered curse.)

Shinji smiled at the byplay as he followed the tail end of the group through a doorway. They had been walking along the ever-so-slightly-curving hallway that Asuka had correctly guessed was outside their room, and the doorway they now entered was to the left, leading deeper into the spire. It was difficult to call it a 'spire' at this point, Shinji realized. Judging by how slight the curve of the hallway was, the circumference was gigantic. Far larger than it had seemed when he had looked out the window.

_Then again, I really don't have anything with which to compare it. I have no idea how big those trees were. I was comparing them to trees back on earth, but that may not be accurate._

He stepped through the doorway, and was treated to a breathtaking sight. The hallway seemed to abruptly end, opening out into thin air, but that was a visual illusion. The floor, ceiling, and walls of the hallway were transparent, and they were essentially walking along a square, glass tube that extended into the darkness into the middle of a vast open space inside the spire. Everyone except Ritsuko and Kensuke had stopped, momentarily succumbing to the normal human fear of heights. He felt Asuka stir beside him, continuing on along the transparent hallway. He looked up, and saw a figure in the distance. It was Kyoko. Which explained Asuka's eagerness. He followed her.

Rei looked down through the transparent floor, and saw Unit-00. And the other Evas. All of them were down there, and there were tiny figures working on them. Angels. The others knew it conceptually (even if they had not yet fully admitted it to themselves), but she knew without a doubt that every human-looking being they had encountered was an Angel. The part of her that was Lilith rejoiced that she was home, while the part of her that was Rei was as apprehensive as the other humans. And every human that had come here was apprehensive, to some degree or another, there was no use denying it. Oh, they were all happy to be temporarily free from the fighting, free from SEELE's influence, and from all the problems back on earth. But they all knew deep inside them that no matter how happy or safe this place made them feel, it was alien. It was Heaven, yes. Avalon. Dwelling-place of the Angels. But it wasn't the mythical Heaven of the religions of earth. True, the Angels apparently _weren't_ the bad guys after all (or so it appeared), but they weren't messengers of God either. And so Rei stood there, torn between her desire to stay here forever, and her love for Shinji and Asuka.

Asuka stood beside her mother, hand in hand with the woman. Shinji could feel her reigning in her emotions, not wanting to make a big scene here in front of everybody. And Kyoko apparently understood that as well. As he approached the two of them, he noticed they were looking down at something. He followed their gaze, and saw the Evangelions. Unit-01, -00, -03. And he saw a red Evangelion.

_They're rebuilding Unit-02?_

As he stood beside her, he sensed Asuka's mixed feelings, and he tentatively put his arm around her waist, hoping she wouldn't bite his head off. After a couple of seconds she put her arm around his waist and squeezed slightly, returning the hug, and then dropped her arm again. The amount of relief brought by that small gesture surprised him.

"D'you think they'll have to put..." Shinji found it difficult to say aloud. He heard Asuka sigh, and he hurried on. "...put them back into the Evas for it to work?" He had almost said 'do you think they'll have to put Kyoko back into Unit-02,' but he found that he couldn't.

"How should I know?" she asked, slightly exasperated. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye for a moment, before returning her gaze to the work below. After a few moments more, she spoke again, sounding less exasperated. "The three of us didn't know what we were doing, and the Angels fixed _us _back up. Maybe they can do the same with the Evas." She didn't continue, but Shinji saw where she was going. They continued watching the Angels working on the Evas.

Several minutes later Asuka heard a mental voice. _"You are in command..."_ It wasn't quite a question, nor was it a statement, precisely. Asuka realized it was directed at her. She turned to face the Angel, and again got that strange feeling she couldn't quite identify. Something like familiarity.

_Misato's not here, so that's just too bad._

She mentally spoke. _"Yes, I'll command the Evas."_

"_It will be difficult, both training to pilot, and training to take over Command responsibilities." _The woman/Angel betrayed no emotion.

"_Good," _Asuka answered.

The Angel observed her for a few more moments, as if measuring her worth, and then turned to go.

"_Do I know you?"_ Asuka asked on impulse.

The Angel stopped moving momentarily. _"Yes."_ She continued on her way again.

_Jeez, that was no help. Well I guess I know why Rei is the way she is,_ Asuka mentally griped._ It wasn't all Gendo's fault after all._

"_Follow me."_

Asuka heard the mental command, and turned to follow. Shinji, Touji, and Rei had apparently heard the command as well, for they too turned. The four pilots plus Hikari followed the Angel.

"_What's goin' on?"_ Touji's mental drawl echoed around the group.

"_Training."_ The woman's voice was impassive, as usual.

"_Um... am I going to be killed?"_ Touji asked hesitantly, remembering his training under Asuka and Rei.

The woman turned, raising a single eyebrow. _"No."_

Touji felt Asuka's eyes boring into the back of his skull, and he tried to ignore it.

* * *

_Day 1, afternoon_

Ritsuko, Kensuke, and Naoko were the only ones left in the transparent hallway overlooking the Evas. They each held a video tablet, scrolling through technical specifications and operational procedures.

"Don't ask me why I agreed to this," Naoko grumbled. "I refuse to go back to work for Gendo."

"Mom, you could no more stop being a scientist than I could," Ritsuko murmured.

"Hmph." But Naoko continued reading with interest.

"I just wish I could take the pilot training as well as this," Kensuke commented.

"Your Eva is back on earth," Ritsuko explained yet again. "We'll be able to upgrade it when we get back, but it'll take enough time that you'll be able to train concurrently." She turned to look at him momentarily. "You've seen the study schedule we've got. It's going to be tough even for someone like you!"

* * *

_Day 1, late afternoon_

The pilots sat cross-legged (or in whatever various positions of comfort they could find) on the cushions provided for them. The usual ambient-lighting that seemed to permeate everywhere they went inside the spire was dimmed appreciably. Asuka peeked one eye open to take a momentary look at the chronometer on the wall, slowly counting down. Everyone's eyes were closed, as they had been instructed over an hour ago. She knew she wasn't the only one having trouble. She could feel the subtle exasperation radiating from Shinji, and she imagined Touji was not doing much better. She had heard him shift his position several times now. She closed her eyes again with a sigh.

Some time later, there was a soft chime, and she opened her eyes. The infuriatingly familiar Angel/woman stood before them.

"Are you sure this is pilot training?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, this is a little too New-Age if you ask me," grumbled Touji.

"_Were you successful?"_ the woman asked.

"How am I supposed to know?" Asuka snapped. "You weren't really clear what we were supposed to be doing."

"_Were any of you successful?"_ she asked, looking around. Everybody shifted uneasily.

"I... might have felt something," Hikari said looking down at her lap. "But I'm not sure."

The woman considered them all for a moment, then stepped over to Asuka, bending down and picking up the A10 clips on the floor in front of where the girl was sitting.

_Atleast I assume they're A10 clips,_ thought Asuka.

She felt the woman reach up and gently attach them. It irked her not knowing what was happening, but she managed to hold her tongue. For a few moments, anyway. As the woman finished attaching the second clip, Asuka placed her hand over the woman's, looking up. "Who are you?"

The woman looked into her eyes for a few long moments. _"Later,"_ she answered softly, slipping her hand free and moving over to Hikari. _"Try again," _she said, and as she helped the other pilots attach their own clips, she explained further. _"It will be far more difficult to synchronize with the Evas when the modifications are complete. Your conscious and subconscious must be able to properly communicate. These exercises will facilitate that."_

Asuka closed her eyes again as the chronometer reset, and settled herself into a comfortable position. She heard the woman pad softly out of the room, the door closing behind her with a soft hiss.

* * *

_Day 1, evening_

"Guhhh!" Asuka huffed, sweeping into the room in which the three of them had awoken at the beginning of the day. "Shinji you wouldn't believe... what the!?" She was treated to the strangest thing she'd ever seen. Shinji was lying back in bed, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed. That wasn't the strange part. What was unusual was that Rei was sitting beside him, leaning back against the wall, plucking at what looked like a guitar. And looking at a tablet on the bed before her. She was teaching herself to play the thing. "...oh I give up." She slouched into bed beside Shinji, mentally beat. Despite the ambient lighting of the room, the stars were clearly visible out of the window, night having fallen.

"I wouldn't believe what?" Shinji asked, opening his eyes and looking over at her.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

He closed his eyes. "It sounded like something, when you came in."

"Look, we can talk about it later! Just let me rest, okay?"

"Sure, Asuka." He waited a few moments and was surprised when she failed to criticize him for giving in too easily.

_Wow, I guess she really is tired._

He decided not to push matters. Rei continued picking slowly at the instrument in her hands.

After several minutes of scales, Asuka's curiosity overcame her exhaustion. "Umm, Rei, why have you taken up guitar?"

"It is a human thing to do," Rei answered.

Asuka wondered at that.

_Rei? Having an identity crisis? Well I guess this is her home, in a way._

She opened an eye, looking over at the girl. "Do you want to stay here?"

The scales faltered for a moment, before continuing. "I don't know."

_Who am I?_

_Rei. Lilith._

_Which one is predominant? Or does it even matter?_

_Am I defined by my physicality? By my soul? By how others see me?_

_I have asked myself these questions before. What has changed? Is my presence here in the place of my origin causing this?_

_Or atleast the place of Lilith's origin._

_Rei, born of earth. Lilith, born of Avalon._

_One being, torn between two worlds._

_But to which one am I most connected?_

Asuka closed her eyes again as Rei struggled with the instrument, and with herself.

* * *

And now for something completely different...

Omake!

(If you really want to put this somewhere in the timeline, it could actually fit. Perhaps crossover potential.)

And so, without further ado,

* * *

Happy Ghoulish Birthday, or, Rei's Adventure

Gendo sat behind his desk, in the cavernous office that he called his own. Fuyutski stood behind him, as usual, and Ritsuko stood before him, her usual clipboard held loosely at her side.

"You're sure about this, Doctor." It was almost a question, the way Gendo's tone ended.

"Yes." Ritsuko's voice was insistent. "The Children need something like this. They're tired. They need a break."

Gendo sighed, finally acquiescing. "Fine. Make the necessary preparations. Not that it matters anyway, all three Evas are undergoing critical diagnostics, is that not correct?"

"Yes sir. It would be unwise to activate them at this point, until the diagnostics are complete."

"Very well, Doctor."

Ritsuko recognized the dismissal in Gendo's voice, and beat a hasty retreat before he could change his mind. Gendo took off his glasses, rubbing his hand down his face. His features suddenly looked tired, or perhaps resigned.

"I swore I would never use them, Fuyutski."

"Who, sir."

"Them! The backups." Gendo's voice sounded exasperated.

Fuyutski's eyes bulged. "You can't mean...!"

Gendo sighed. "I'm afraid so, old friend."

"They're... they're mentally unbalanced! Completely unprofessional!" Fuyutski sputtered.

Gendo pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He didn't voice any disagreement.

* * *

Raymond Stantz drove the Cadillac Miller-Meteor down the winding road towards NERV HQ. Or atleast in its general direction. Like Misato Katsuragi was, at the beginning of it all, he was lost. Beside him sat Egon Spengler, and Peter Venkmen sat in the back seat, his arms crossed in mock outrage.

"I still don't see why you guys never let me drive!" he said sulkily.

"Venkman, the last time I let you drive, we had to do body-work on the Ecto-01 for nearly a week!" Stantz snapped. The Ecto-01 was the name the group had given to the Cadillac in which they now rode. "And that was nothing next to the property damage bill the city of New York presented us!"

Venkman made a pooh poohing motion with his hands. "Aww, those tightwads should be happy they still have a city. Why if it wasn't for us..."

"Turn here. No, wait! Not here... there! Turn there!" Spengler pointed, the map he was holding flapping dangerously, the wind through the open window threatening to tear it from his grasp. Stantz jerked the wheel, sliding the big ambulance/hearse/station-wagon through the turn, barely missing a group of pedestrians.

"Sorry!" Venkman yelled out the window at the stunned Japanese passersby.

"There!" Spengler pointed at the squat armored building. "That's the entrance to the Linear Car Train. I'm sure of it."

Stantz pulled the vehicle to a stop, his arm hanging out the window as he looked up, smiling, at the guard in the gate-house. The guard looked at the strange vehicle in confusion, his hand drifting towards the pistol at his side.

Venkman prodded Stantz. "Say something! You're making him nervous."

"Oh! Uh..." (Halting Japanese): "We're the... uhh..." He thought for a moment. (English) "Um, guys, how do you say Ghostbusters in Japanese?"

"Aww, jeez!" Venkman threw a fit in the back seat.

Spengler handed Stantz a card. "Show him this."

Stantz pushed the card up into the surprised guard's face. He almost drew his weapon, but upon seeing the NERV card, he hesitantly opened the gate and waved them through.

"Huh." Stantz looked at the card as he shifted the vehicle back into gear. "'NERV. God's in His Heaven and all's right with the world.' That's suitably weird," he commented, handing the card back to Spengler. The irony of the statement was not lost on Venkman.

"Weird? You think they're weird? Hah! What about what we do every day?" he asked, humor evident in his voice.

"A prophet is not without honor but in his own country," Spengler said in a wise voice as Stantz pulled into the narrow entrance to the Car Train.

"Are we even going to fit?" Venkman asked.

"I don't know," Stantz said, slightly exasperated. "Why don't you take a look?"

"Maybe I'll do that." He got out, walking around to the back. They just barely fit. "You're good!" he called back to Stantz, giving him a thumbs up.

"Stay in vehicle!" The guard in the gate-house called down to him in halting english.

"Sure! Sorry!" Venkman waved up at him merrily.

* * *

One of the many nameless conference rooms had been festively decorated with streamers and balloons. Ritsuko, Misato, the bridge bunnies, and the pilots, along with other nameless technicians were there, along with quite a few of Shinji's class mates.

"Happy Birthday!" Everybody yelled. Several people threw streamers into the air, and everybody cheeared, tossing small hand held fireworks poppers. Everyone stood around a table which held a large cake which was blank except for three small plug-suited figures drawn onto its surface with different colors of icing. Asuka stood, a smile on her face, her hands on her hips, enjoying being the center of attention. Shinji stood slightly to one side, feeling slightly out of place, Rei's hand in his. He could feel her tense grip. She waited long enough to be polite, and then whispered into Shinji's ear.

"Excuse me Pilot Ikari, I have to visit the female's restroom facilities."

"Oh. O-okay..." He wished he could follow, but Asuka would torture him later if he messed up 'her' birthday celebration. _This celebration is for all of us. But it's not surprising for her to act this way..._ he sighed in resignation.

* * *

The three ghostbusters stood idly in Terminal Dogma, gazing up at the white figure of Lilith. They were suited up in their customary uniforms, and wore what looked very much like their familiar proton packs on their backs. As usual, Venkman was the one to break the silence.

"So all we're supposed to do is watch this guy, and make sure nothing bad happens."

"Girl, actually," Spengler corrected him. "But essentially, yes."

"Hey, what could go wrong?" Venkman said happily.

"What have I told you about saying that??" Stantz turned on him, his mock-fury not entirely fake.

Spengler surreptitiously took out his hand scanner, flicking the on switch, and pointing it in Lilith's direction. The two thin wands extended up, lights flickering all over the device. "Fascinating..."

"So these are the guys that have been paying our bills for the past six months," Venkman murmured, turning a slow circle. "Pretty sweet operation they've got going on here."

It did not take long for the three of them to get bored. Being who they were, their attention span was admittedly very low.

"Wait, what's this?" Spengler fiddled with his scanner. "Guys, stay here, I'm getting a weird reading."

"But..." Stantz held up a hand.

"Don't worry, I won't be long." He walked over to a doorway, which slid open at his touch. Rechecking his readings, he slowly walked down the hallway, the doors shutting behind him.

Half an hour later, Stantz swore to himself. He hated to leave Venkman alone with the responsibility, but if he didn't visit the bathroom, he was going to have to relieve himself in the pool of LCL. _Would they even notice?_ he wondered. He turned to Venkman and tried to use as casual a voice as he could.

"Hey Venkman, I gotta use the bathroom, hold things down here, will ya?" Telling the man not to screw up was a sure way to get exactly that, so he held his tongue from any further comment.

"Sure thing, Ray!" Stantz shuddered at the gleam in his friend's eye, but there was nothing he could do. The door shut behind him with a hiss.

Venkman looked around, hands behind his back. He whistled tonelessly for a few moments. He sidled over towards Lilith. He looked all around again, and satisfied that he was alone, he reached behind him, pulling out a grapple-gun from where it was attached to his backpack.

_Sweet, I've always wanted to try this thing out. We haven't yet been able to use half of the new equipment Egon's cooked up for us..._

Atleast, not in actual combat. Training was another matter. Aiming carefully at the Lance of Longinus, near where the body of the Lance forked, he steadied his arms and fired. With a loud pop, the grapple shot up, barely making it over the Lance. He released the trigger, and the gun jerked as the line went taut, causing the grapple to coil around the lance, eventually gripping back onto itself.

_Yes, first time!_

Bracing himself on the edge of the pit of yellowish LCL, he flicked another switch, and the gun quickly began respooling the line, dragging him upwards. He pulled himself up onto the Lance, giving himself enough plenty of slack and tying the rope around his waist. Balancing himself, one foot on one tine of the Lance, and the other foot on the other tine, he slowly inched towards Lilith's form. It took him a good few minutes, but he got there. He delicately prodded the white skin.

_Feels like... jello or something._

He grinned like a maniac, prodding it and watching it quiver. He pinched the white skin, pulling it away from the main body. It stretched amusingly, snapping back into place when he let it go. Beneath her mask, Lilith sweat-dropped.

"You're just like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow man, aren't you?" He chuckled. "You'd like him, he's..." the one-sided conversation was rudely interrupted.

"What the hell are you doing, Venkman??" Stantz yelled.

"Whuh...?" Venkman lost his balance, arms flailing as he fell from the Lance, the rope around his waist going taut as he hit the end of it. He hung precariously from the middle of the Lance, which began to creak alarmingly.

"Can't I leave you alone for one minute??" Stantz continued to berate him.

"Umm, no?" Venkman offered in a small voice. He cast a worried glance back towards where the Lance penetrated Lilith's white form. The Lance was very slowly losing its grip, having shifted downwards slightly under his weight.

_Uh oh..._

With a crash, the Lance fell, dumping him into the pit, raising a fountain of LCL. He managed to extricate himself from the line, and swam to the side of the vat, where Stantz helped him out.

"Oops?" he said in a small voice. The both of them looked over at Lilith and froze. She had begun to move, ever so slowly. She felt her soul nearby, and longed to be whole.

* * *

Spengler walked back towards Terminal Dogma. He had lost the reading.

_I'm sure it was around here somewhere... Oh well._

He replaced the now-inactive scanner into his backpack. The doorway to Terminal Dogma slid open, and his two fellow scientists ran through it, almost running into him.

"We're in big trouble, Egon!" Stantz exclaimed, regaining his balance.

Spengler looked around the corner of the doorway. Lilith was missing.

"What'd you do this time, Pete?"

"Why would you just assume this is my fault?" Venkman whined.

"It's always you, Venkman! What happened?"

"She kind of broke into a bunch of little parts, and each one ran in a different direction," Stantz explained.

"Great. Just great." Spengler held his head.

* * *

Rei walked slowly towards the restroom. She had not been lying, she did have to use the facilities. But that did not keep her from taking her time. Despite her openness around Shinji, she still preferred not to be around crowds. Especially if she was partially the center of attention, as was the case at the impromptu birthday party for all the pilots. As she passed a hallway, she felt a familiar presence, and turned to look down it. The hallway she was looking down connected her hallway to another hallway which ran parallel to the one she was in. As she watched, a white blur flashed by in the adjoining hallway. Curiosity caused her to pause, and several seconds later, she saw a coruscating, snake-like beam of energy sizzle down the hallway, skewing crazily, before abruptly terminating. She heard a distant curse.

"Damn it, Venkman, watch where you're aiming that thing!"

"I can't help it, Egon, the focus for these new positron containment beams is completely different from our old proton packs."

"Well, you'd better get used to it, because our old proton containment beams wouldn't do squat to these 'Angels.'"

The voices grew louder as did their running footsteps. Three strangely-dressed men ran by the adjoining hallway, one of them pushing a large wheeled cart of some kind, one brandishing some kind of weapon, and the third holding some sort of small handheld device. A scanner of some kind, she realized. Rei was just about to call for security when one of the men slid to a stop, looking at her and pointing a strange scanner in her direction.

"Fascinating...! There's that strange reading again, and it's coming from this hallway..." Spengler looked up and saw Rei. "I'll catch up to you guys in a minute!" he called down the hallway. He jogged up to Rei, who merely stared at him. He knelt, staring at the scanner, its two antennas waving up and down, lights flickering all over it. "What are you?" he asked in wonder.

It was a question she asked herself often, but she saw no reason to answer this strange man. "Are you authorized to be here?" she asked.

Spengler was taken aback by the soft, concise speech coming from someone so young. "Oh, umm, yes actually."

Rei regarded him calmly for a few moments. "I will call security anyway."

"No! Wait, here..." he pulled out the NERV card from his pocket. "See?"

Rei took the card, turning it over in her hands. It was either a very good forgery, or the real thing. Being Rei, she gave him the benefit of the doubt. "Fine." She gave the card back to the man, her eyes flitting momentarily to his oddly-shaped hair style. He reluctantly turned, jogging after his two cohorts, looking back at her once before disappearing around the corner.

_How odd,_ thought Rei.

* * *

Spengler caught up to his two fellow-scientists in time to see Venkman desperately trying to control the matter stream of his weapon, the containment beam flickering wildly, its far end wrapped around a quivering blob of white a dozen yards away. Stantz slid one of the modified Ecto-Plasmic Containment Modules out towards the trapped chibi-Lilith. Venkman maneuvered the trapped Angel over the device, and Stantz stomped on the activator switch. The door popped open, and with a blinding flash of light, the chibi-Lilith was sucked down into the device, which let out a kind of abreviated 'burp' as it closed.

"That's the fifth one so far," Stantz commented to Spengler, who was slightly out of breath. "There shouldn't be too many more." He carefully picked up the trap, placing it in the mobile containment unit they were rolling along with them. He depressed the activation switch, and after a short sucking noise emanated from the contraption, the green light lit up.

"Light turns green, trap is clean..." Venkman did a little ditty as he spoke in a sing-song voice.

"Damn it, do you have to do that every time?" Stantz complained.

"Only because you react like that," Venkman said cheerily.

"You know, you're just like that raven-haired Major we met on the way in, what's her name..."

"Katsuragi?" Spengler said helpfully.

"Not my type," Venkman said airily.

"Woah, I think hell just froze over!" Stantz commented.

"Ah, gimme a break. Besides, Dana would kill me if she found out I was going after another girl."

* * *

Several hours later...

The trio of troublemakers stood before Gendo, slight contrition (or atleast fake contrition, in Venkman's case) on their features.

"Atleast we were able to retrieve all of her," Spengler said. Gendo sat, his face in his hands, wondering why he was putting up with this. Fuyutski was trying not to laugh hysterically. Ritsuko stood by, shaking with barely restrained fury.

"Give us another hour, and we'll have her back on the cross just like we found her!" Venkman proclaimed merrily. "And next time, make sure that pointy thing is stuck into her a little deeper. I'm telling you, it just slid right out on its own!"

The end?

Maybe not.

Tell you what, if there are actually any ghostbusters fans out there, I'll continue. It was just an idea that popped into my head ;-)


	49. Chapter 49: Fractals

Chapter 49

Avalon day 2

The small room slowly brightened from the diffuse light of the rising sun. A bare sliver of it was peeking up over the horizon to cast a soft, white, horizontal line on the far wall. Asuka lay on her side, looking at the calm, reposed features of the First Child. The girl lay facing her, sleeping on her side, her eyes closed, her breathing shallow and steady. Asuka's meeting with her mother the previous day had been brief. The only other time she had seen the woman had been when the humans had gotten together to eat as a group. The Angel had not been lying. Her study sessions and training had been grueling, giving her almost no free time. The Angel. She wracked her brain, trying to decide what it was about the woman that sparked this pseudo-familiarity. She sighed softly after several minutes of frustration.

She put aside that thought for now so that she could turn to the present issue. She had been too exhausted the previous night to think much about Rei's strange behavior, but with the clearheadedness of a good night's sleep came a fresh sense of unease. She hated herself for her conflicted emotions.

_So what if she wants to stay here? Would it be so bad to live in this place?_

A chill passed through her at the next thought.

_Would they let us stay here?_

_Then again, why would they help us by unmerging Shinji and Rei and then remerging us properly if all they're going to do is separate us again?_

"I am sorry to be causing you this mental anguish."

Asuka jumped at the soft voice. She focused her glazed eyes and saw that Rei was awake. "Rei, how could you say that? I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm just putting pressure on you that you don't need."

"Perhaps I do need it." She lowered her eyes, going silent for a few moments. "I find myself regretting my actions back on earth. Perhaps if I had been more open, this choice would be clear. I would know what to do..." her voice trailed off.

Asuka was once again reminded just how little she knew about how Rei processed things. "You're being too logical about this. What do you _feel_?"

Rei considered the question. It was not an easy one for her. "I feel...conflicted. Part of me feels that this is home, while another part of me longs to return to earth. And yet I feel estranged from both worlds." The long shadows still present in the room seemed to emphasize the misery in her voice. "I closed myself off back on earth. I never really got to know anybody. But it is the same here. I do not know anybody here either." She rolled over onto her back, her voice going so quiet it was almost inaudible. "I feel as if I have been cast adrift. As if I have no roots."

Asuka felt the girl's profound grief and was at a loss for words. She had never really been in this kind of situation where she had to comfort somebody else. She put her arm over Rei's stomach and laid her head on the girl's shoulder. "You're not adrift," she murmured. "Or atleast, you're not alone."

Rei closed her eyes, tears slipping down the sides of her face as she felt Asuka's touch. She shuddered slightly with partially suppressed grief as she felt Shinji turn and embrace her from the other side. Her soft voice shook with emotion. "How can I be sad, when I have the two of you?" Neither Asuka nor Shinji knew how to answer that question, and so they simply held her until her tears subsided.

Several minutes later Asuka finally spoke. "I'm just glad you're back, Rei. I never really got to know you, before you... kind of died."

Rei did not argue with Asuka's comment.

_What is death?_

_My physical self died, when I merged with Shinji._

_My mental self as well, since it too changed._

_Technically, both Shinji and I died, since our merged being was different from the two of us when we were unmerged. The two of us died, and a new being was born. And yet here we are again._

Asuka picked up on these thoughts, and it made her slightly uncomfortable. "Rei, was that... did you mean for me...?"

"I do not mind if you can overhear my thought processes," Rei said softly.

"But... I don't want to overhear them if you don't mean for me to listen in..."

"I just said I don't mind."

Asuka went silent for a few moments. She had heard Shinji's breathing change, but he had yet to say anything. She sighed.

"I'm not going to bite your head off if you want to join the conversation."

It took him a couple of moments to realize she had spoken to him, because she had not raised her voice.

"Oh. I didn't want to interrupt. It sounded..."

"This as much involves you as it involves me! You're a part of this relationship too, you know."

"I know. It's just..." he didn't want to monopolize Rei, or make it look like he was always trying to insert himself into whatever they were doing. _But I do. I want to be involved with the two of them._

Asuka picked up on his thoughts. "What?" she asked.

"...nothing." Shinji said after several moments.

_Is it still so hard for him to say it? _Asuka thought, anger momentarily flashing through her mind. "If you start clamming up again, I'm going to come over there and beat the snot out of you."

He floundered in his mind for a few moments, than answered. "I didn't want to make it look like I'm always trying to throw myself into the middle of things, especially if you two wanted time alone. I didn't want to break up the moment."

Asuka was silent for a short time after that, mostly because she was holding herself back from telling him how wrong he was, and how stupid his statement had sounded.

"Umm... the same goes for you, Asuka."

"The same what?" she snapped.

"If I'm going to say what's on my mind, you say what's on yours."

"Oh, you mean you actually _want_ me to tell you how dumb your statement was?" she asked, propping herself up on an elbow to see over Rei, who was between them.

"If that's what you really think, then yeah."

She looked down, considering that. "Okay." Several moments passed. "Well, for one thing, I don't want to have to threaten you to get you to speak what's on your mind."

He smiled slightly. "It wasn't your physical threat that got me to talk."

"What? Why the hell not? And why are you smiling?"

"I know Kung Fu," Shinji answered in a wise voice.

"Jujitsu, actually," Rei murmured.

"Whatever," he said.

"Schiesse!" Asuka snapped, grabbing a handful of Shinji's hair and dragging his head up to her level. "You broke the moment after all, pinhead!"

"I didn't mean to."

Asuka smiled slightly at that. Even if he was still a little reserved, he didn't fumble his words so much now. "You don't look like you know Kung Fu." Her voice took on a kinder note.

"Jujitsu," he corrected her.

She tightened her grip on his hair and leaned towards him. "Don't patronize me, you... aah!"

He had reached up, gripping her hand and squeezing slightly on a pressure point, causing her to release her grip. She snatched her hand away from him, looking at him with a newfound respect as she massaged it, trying to work the numbness out of it.

"So you know a little something after all," she muttered. Several moments later, a smile crossed her features. "Let's spar, Third." She got out of bed, moved to the center of the room and put her hands on her hips.

_Oh great, what have I gotten myself into now?_ thought Shinji. "You... you know martial arts too?"

"No, Shinji, I'm standing here for my health." The irony in her voice was obvious. "Of course I do! Now get over here, and you'd better not hold back just cause I'm a girl, or I'll put a dent in your head!" she warned.

"Oh, don't worry, the fact that you're a girl doesn't bother me." He slid from the bed and turned to face her._ It's the fact that you're Asuka that frightens me. But it's also what draws me to you._ As usual, he couldn't seem to give voice to the words.

Asuka noticed that Rei had sat up in bed and was watching them both with a practiced eye. _She must be the one who taught him._ "So it looks like you and Rei been making good use of the resets after all."

"Who taught _you_?" Shinji asked.

"I've been training since I was little, of course! I've known I was going to be a pilot ever since I was young. You know that. No more stalling!" she smiled, facing him and bowing.

As Shinji returned her bow, he sweatdropped. _How is it I managed to connect with two girls who can both beat me in a fight?_ He sighed in resignation, angling his body away from her. He lowered himself slightly and raised his hands, preparing to receive her attack.

Rei watched as the two circled slightly, and Asuka tested his defenses.

_Solid, high stance. Quick, direct probes and feints. Almost certainly the Wing Chun style of Kung Fu._

_That explains why she took offense at his Kung Fu joke._

It was not surprising to her that the girl would choose such a style. It matched her strong personality. More surprising was her obvious competence, borne from years of practice. Rei considered Shinji's experience in the matter. The resets had given him a good tool for study, more than a year atleast. The resets had been going subjectively for a lot longer than that, but he had not been training solidly the entire time. He had perhaps a year, or a year and a half of good training. Of course Asuka would not have slacked during that time. Shinji would almost surely lose the match, but it would be good experience. Cross-training with practitioners of other schools was always enlightening, especially in this case, when the two schools were from separate nationalities. Asuka's art originated in China, whereas Shinji's was from Japan.

Shinji immediately noticed the change between the two of them after he and Asuka had bowed. In some ways it was relaxing, for he could see the respect she gave him as a fellow martial-artist. It was nice to be able to connect with her in such an elemental way without running into her prickly side, or having to worry about saying the wrong thing in a conversation.

As she probed his weaknesses, he found it very different from Rei's subtle touches. He quickly found her natural preference for close-range flurries and combinations. The first time she broke through his defenses he received a flat palm against his chest which took his breath away for a moment. The second time, he used her brief attack to make one of his own. He managed to strike the center of her chest with his extended middle knuckle. As she turned slightly away from the blow he moved in to grappling range so that she would be unable to unleash another of her devastating flurries. It surprised him slightly that she didn't try to pull away.

Rei watched as the battle came to a close. She saw that Shinji managed to keep his head, even after encountering Asuka's 'stickiness.' She saw him draw back ever so slightly and watched her follow him, not willing to let him out of range. The boy made his final move, dropping down suddenly and forcing her off balance. He pulled her down and they grappled on the floor, where Shinji's jujitsu ground-fighting techniques almost made up for all of Asuka's experience. Almost. She eventually pinned him and cut off his air with a choke-hold. He tapped the floor desperately, signaling his defeat, and she relented. They both separated, and bowed.

"Not bad," Asuka commented, slightly out of breath, as they both moved over and sat down cross-legged on the bed. Shinji coughed slightly, rubbing his throat and smiling. The glow he got from those two words allowed him to ignore his soreness. Especially considering who was praising him.

"I probably could've done better if we had been wearing uniforms," Shinji commented. The two of them still wore the underwear they had slept in.

"You should be prepared no matter what the circumstances," Rei told him. "I see that we'll have to add a new aspect to your training."

"Mind if I join?" Asuka asked. "Ground fighting is one of the weaknesses of my style."

"Why of course not!" Shinji said with a predatory smile. "The more the merrier, I say..."

"Hey, you wipe that perverted grin off your face or I'll do it for you!" she said, poking him in the chest. He reached up and took hold of her hand, putting it over his heart. Her eyebrows drew down momentarily, but she didn't pull away. After several moments her expression softened. "Oh, fine." Rei slid herself forward on the bed, and they closed their eyes, joining their hearts for the first time since their reunion.

* * *

As the three joined together, Asuka felt the difference immediately. Always before there had been a subtle undercurrent of danger, as if letting themselves go would have disastrous consequences. Now she felt completely at ease, and she knew it was the same for the other two. They rose ever upwards and closer together, yet they remained distinct. She felt Shinji's presence shift beside her, and Rei's feather-light touch on her other side.

"_Aah!"_ She mentally squeaked."_You two are relentless, you know that?"_ They could hear the humor in her tone. _"You already took my virginity, what more do you want??"_

She felt Shinji's mental laughter.

"_No, we just pleasured you that morning,"_ he said._ "Don't worry, you're still as pure as the driven snow."_

"_Actually, all three of us are still virgins,"_ Rei interrupted. _"Shinji and I merged before we could do anything physically. Everything was done in AT-space, through our connection. Which was better actually..."_

Shinji gave a delicate mental cough.

"_Hmph,"_ Asuka turned slightly away from the two of them. _"For virgins, you sure seem to have a lot of experience,"_ she mumbled.

Shinji pushed his head around her shoulder. _"Someday you're going to have to tell me how you manage to blush inside a mental construct..."_

"_Hey, buster, I can still take you down no matter where we are!"_ she snapped, putting him in a choke hold.

"_And no matter where we are, I'll still enjoy it,"_ Shinji proclaimed with a smile.

Asuka sighed, resigning herself to the situation. She glanced over to her left to see Rei with a similar smile. And her eyes were upside-down U's.

_O-kay, that's a disturbing image I'm not going to be able to forget..._

"_I'm sorry, Asuka,"_ Rei said with some amusement._ "Even though I still feel torn between worlds, as long as I'm with you two I'll be happy. Still, for the sake of your mental health..."_

With a kind of 'pop' Rei transformed into her old self, school uniform and all, including her usual neutral expression. Asuka sweat-dropped.

"_Actually, at this point that's even _more_ disturbing..."_

Rei transformed back to the same effervescent form the other two wore, and the three of them laughed as they continued ascending.

* * *

The three of them, now fully dressed, walked down the slightly-curving hallway away from their living quarters. Shinji's stomach growled.

"Don't even think of blaming me for that, Third Child!" Asuka snapped, turning on him and putting her finger on the side of his head. "It was your idea to waste our breakfast time with sparring and pursuits of pleasure."

Shinji scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, that's not how I seem to remember it..."

She acted as if she didn't hear him, crossing her arms and suppressing her urge to smile. "Why, just think of what I'll have to go through, my schedule is already so packed. I might faint from exhaustion..."

"Ah, maybe you're right. I shouldn't be so cruel... here, lean on me so you don't get tired," he put an arm around her shoulder. She elbowed his ribs, causing him to 'oof' slightly.

"I'm not on my last legs yet, so don't think you can take advantage of the situation." Her mouth finally cracked slightly with a hint of a smile. As they passed the entrance to Ritsuko and Kensuke's quarters, the doorway slid aside to reveal the two of them, also dressed and preparing to depart.

"Oh, you three are awake early," Ritsuko said cheerily. "Join us for breakfast?"

"What? What are you..." Asuka's momentary confusion vanished when she saw their room. "Hey! What the hell is this!?"

The room was a riot of color. Various fractals and designs covered the walls, a stars-scape graced the ceiling, and the floor was a black and white checkerboard pattern. Against one of the walls were two desks and chairs with the usual personal items one found in a work area. There were other pieces of furniture, but they went unnoticed.

Kensuke very quickly came to the proper conclusion and cowered behind Ritsuko, who simply smiled, not noticing the Angry Asuka warning signs. "Oh, Kensuke has managed to lock me out of the room controls. Don't worry, I'll..."

"But this... you..." Asuka was gripping both sides of the doorway and looking first one way and then the other, trying to take in the chaotic room configuration. It had not occurred to her that the rooms could be changed, and it irked her that Kensuke, the other resident genius, had beaten her to it.

Shinji was likewise hiding behind Rei at this point. "You might have to protect me, Sensei...." he mumbled softly.

"I don't think so," she said out of the corner of her mouth, amusement in her voice. "You need the practice."

"You're evil."

"I'm efficient," she corrected him.

Several minutes later the five of them were heading to the mess hall, and Asuka remembered what had initially confused her. "Hey, I was sure we had missed breakfast since we had taken so long doing... um... just what the heck do we call that?"

"Sharing hearts," Rei stated, in a wise tone of voice.

Asuka looked at her out of the corner of her eye, but decided not to argue for the moment. "So was it just me, or..."

"No, I think you're right," Shinji said. "It was different from every other time we've done that."

* * *

Afternoon

The four pilots (Shinji, Rei, Asuka, and Touji) plus Hikari, sat in the dimly lit room undergoing the 'pilot training' that they had been introduced to the previous day. Asuka sat on her cushion trying to keep her mind clear. She had spent the first few sessions of the previous day in frustration, but the last session (after the Angel's explanation) she had settled down and honestly tried to get whatever it was she was supposed to get from the training.

_If I'm even supposed to 'get' anything from it. I wish this wasn't so vague. What does it mean to link the conscious and subconscious? Maybe all we're really supposed to do is just sit here. But what if there's something we're supposed to figure out, and I'm not getting it? What if I'm just wasting my time?_

A touch of her old pride had kept her from approaching Hikari the previous day about her success. Or atleast partial success. Still, Hikari's partial success was better than Asuka's apparent failure. She wished it were as simple as the harmonics tests, or the step-by-step synchronization routine for connecting with the Eva prior to launch. That she had gotten. But this... With a sigh she let the worries fall away and once again tried to clear her thoughts.

After several minutes, her frustration had died down to where it was no longer occupying her mind as much as before. Unfortunately this left room for her other problems to come to the forefront. Shinji. Now that they were properly merged, parts of his old self had returned.

_Was it really just the connection that brought us together and made things work?_

The boy could be infuriating at times. And yet despite his faults, he _had _grown quite a bit. She thought back to when he and Rei had been one person. It hadn't felt good being the weak one in the relationship, and yet she had enjoyed the strength he had shown. She mentally snorted.

_I want him to be strong, but I also don't want him to overwhelm me. So, what, I want a constant battle?_

The thought surprised her.

_But I know that's not what _he_ wants. He wants a nice stable relationship that's all gooey and romantic._

She decided to let that matter drop for now. It wasn't what was really bothering her. But then what was it that was bugging her? The other obvious issue was Rei's conflict, but that too was something that she felt would eventually solve itself.

_So what is it?_

The image of Kyoko knitting came into her mind. Kyoko.

_Mama._

Why had her mother rejected her? She felt a sharp pang of sadness at the question, even though she had faced it before.

_Didn't I already deal with this during Third Impact?_

She remembered the bombardment of images and introspection she had been forced to endure. And then it dawned on her.

_The question isn't "why did she reject me back then," the question is "why is she accepting me now?"_

The realization shook her. Why _had_ her mother suddenly decided to accept her back into her life?

_Atleast, I'm assuming that the woman from my Eva is my mother. But isn't it a valid assumption? Shinji's mother came out of his Eva just fine. Why should mine be any different?_

Of course, the situation had been slightly different, but Gendo had affirmed their theory that inside the core of every Eva was a soul. Usually a woman's soul. In most cases, the mother of the pilot. That decision had been made in the hopes that the pilot would synchronize better with someone familiar. It was a grisly secret, but it was true. Still, Asuka knew from experience that humanity had already made mistakes when it came to the Evas. They were dealing with forces they didn't fully understand. Yui's absorption into Unit-01 had been complete, apparently. And so had Naoko's absorption into Unit-00.

_What if... there was some kind of trouble with Unit-02? It was the first production Unit after all. Maybe... that's why mama went insane. Maybe that's why she killed herself. Because she wasn't fully absorbed..._

It was an extremely troubling thought. For one, it meant that the presence she had felt in her Eva, and the woman that had since been rescued, was not truly her mother. Or atleast, not fully. As she remembered her joy at feeling her mother's hand enfold her own during Third Impact, a stubborn tear slipped down her cheek. She sniffled angrily, swiping it away.

_Mama, that wasn't really you..._

Even though it hurt terribly, she let the tears come. It would only hurt worse later if she tried to suppress it. That much she had already learned. Her mother was gone. Or atleast the woman who had rejected her was gone, and so there was no hope for acceptance. Kyoko in her present form loved her, but that might as well have been the love of a stranger. What Asuka wanted was to be accepted and loved by the same woman who had rejected her. And she now knew that could never happen. Moments later she was startled to feel the light mental touch of the Angel.

"_Now you begin to understand the purpose of these exercises."_

She opened her eyes and saw the woman looking at her from where she sat cross-legged at the front of the room, a hint of a smile on her face.

* * *

Evening

Asuka palmed open the door to her living quarters, and was slightly surprised at the soft music she heard as the door opened. It appeared that Shinji had requisitioned a cello from wherever Rei had gotten her guitar, and the two of them were playing through a practice duet. She stepped inside and sat down against the wall as the door closed behind her. Rei had apparently memorized this particular piece, and Shinji had either memorized his part, or was following her and improvising. Hugging her knees to her chest and closing her eyes, Asuka let the simple melody play over her.

_He's improvising._

She briefly wondered if that knowledge came from their training for the twin angel, or if it was spillover from their connection.

_The two of them play well together._

It really was beautiful, to just listen. Her mouth quivered once as the piece suddenly took on a slightly sadder note. Asuka still felt a touch of grief at her realization earlier in the day, but the music helped to mute it somewhat.

_All my life I've been looking back, trying to be worthy of a mother's love that I'll never feel. I've lost so much time..._

She could feel the music coming to an end a half-minute before it arrived. It was relaxing to have the foreknowledge, as if the music settled her gently to the ground and then seemed to fade away. The silence spoke volumes, and none of the three interrupted as they savored the peacefulness the music left them. Life rarely gave such foreknowledge, and music seemed to be one of man's ways of coping with the unknowable.

* * *

Author's Notes: Sorry about that, Gamer, for plot purposes I need to keep the Angel anonymous for a little while longer. ;-)

And now, since I have received the appropriate amount of encouragement, everyone must suffer ;-p

* * *

Omake #1

Unit-00 knelt behind the small hillock (small being relative, of course. It was big enough to hide the Eva, after all). Just above the distant tree-line, the helical shape of the sixteenth Angel slowly rotated. Unit-00 lifted its arm slightly, raising the eva-scale hand-held scanner in the direction of the distant enemy. The twin scanning arms wavered up and down, lights flickering over the massive device.

"I still do not completely understand the readings from this instrument." Rei's voice held a hint of exasperation.

Egon Spengler glanced down at the small screen in front of him. "I know. It's... kind of an art. But trust me, from the measurements we've taken so far, that thing out there would go through your AT-field like it wasn't there. We have to wait for the rest of the equipment to arrive before we can attack."

Rei was extremely uncomfortable with this entire arrangement. The new equipment, and the requirement that she pilot her Eva with another person in the entry plug. But orders were orders. Asuka's comm box popped up on her display.

"Hey, what's going on over there?" she snapped impatiently. "How much longer do we have to wait?" Her normally brash and confident voice held a hint of pleading.

"I do not know, Pilot Soryu. We must wait for the rest of the equipment to arrive." Rei looked over to where Unit-02 crouched behind a rather large rock formation. To a casual observer the Eva appeared to be wearing one of the battery-packs that allowed it to operate for extended periods in the field, but upon closer examination, one would see that it was of a slightly different design. The most noticeable difference was the snake-like umbilical cable that stretched from the backpack to a familiar-looking emitter gripped in the Eva's right hand.

"What do we do if it attacks before then?"

Rei was about to respond to Asuka's question when Shinji's comm box popped up.

"We'll just have to hope that doesn't happen," he said, trying not to smile. Asuka noticed this.

"That's your backup plan?!" she wailed. "Hope it doesn't attack? Are you stupid??"

Peter Venkman's cheery voice interrupted her diatribe. "Keep your panties on, sister, we've got everything covered."

"_You_ shut up, you... _idiot!"_ she yelled over her shoulder at the annoying man behind her seat. "Scheisse, why did I have to get stuck with this one?"

"Hey, I resent that..." Venkman complained.

* * *

Central Dogma

Maya Ibuki sat at her console, her fingers moving rapidly over the keys as she tried to make sense of the data coming from Unit-00. Ritsuko stood looking over her shoulder, thinking back to her work with Doctor Spengler on the new weaponry and sensors. It was amazing that they had gotten it interfaced with the Evangelions at all.

"Just where _is_ the rest of the equipment?" she wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure," Stantz muttered, looking up at the massive screen showing the tense standoff outside of Tokyo-3. "We had to hire our own truck-driver to get it here, once it arrived in-country. Egon, who was it you hired?"

Rei's comm box popped up on the main screen, Spengler's head poking around the back of Rei's plug-seat. "Actually I was too busy working with Rits- err... Doctor Akagi. I had Pete take care of it."

Up on the main bridge Gendo sweat-dropped at the man's casual slip using Ritsuko's first name. He made a mental note to have Section Two pay the man a 'visit' after the mission was over. Stantz meanwhile felt a coldness settle in the pit of his stomach.

"What?! Venkman, who did you hire?" he snapped.

Asuka's comm box popped up and the last half of an oh-so-predictable conversation played out. "...and the next time I'll _break_ your arm instead of just partially dislocating it!!" she screeched.

"Aww, gimme a break, you're holding the emitter wrong. You'll never control the matter stream with that kind of grip. Jeez, lighten up a little..." He held his shoulder, a hurt expression on his face. He turned to face the view-screen. "Oh, hi Ray! Everything going okay on your end? How do things..."

"Who did you hire to drive the truck?" Stantz insisted, refusing to be diverted.

Venkman assumed his usual innocent expression. "Oh, only the best, you know that. I looked this guy up, he's..."

"The name, Venkman! Who'd you hire??"

"Maybe I've forgotten!" he answered sulkily. Stantz's face darkened, and Venkman mumbled a little. "Oh, I don't know, some guy, I think his name is Cledus Snow or something. His partner is..."

"Idiot!" yelled Stantz.

* * *

Near the edge of Tokyo-3

(to the tune of 'Eastbound and Down')

The tractor trailer rig barreled down the mostly empty road towards the edge of the city. The familiar figure of Cledus 'Snowman' Snow lifted the mike and pushed the transmit button. "Bandit, how's things look back there? We're runnin' just a touch behind here..." His cowboy hat threatened to come off his head and fly out the open window as he checked the side mirror for his cohort. In the distance he managed to catch a glimpse of the black Trans-Am, smoke kicking up behind it as it raced along.

"Don't you worry about me, Snowman!" Bo 'Bandit' Darville's drawl came over the radio. "You just get the rig to the drop-off point. I got this guy bottled up back here..."

* * *

"You ain' got nothin', you sumbitch!" Sheriff Buford T Justice roared, clutching the mike of his CB radio in one hand as he jerked the wheel of the big police-cruiser. "I got you right where I want you! You ain' gettin' away this time, Goddamnit!"

"Um, daddy, if we turn left here we can cut him off..."

"Shut up Junior! You remember where we ended up last time I listened to you?"

Darville's amused voice came over the radio. "Aren't you just a _little_ outside your jurisdiction Sheriff?"

The Sheriff's face turned beet red. "Now you listen to me, Bandit! You let me worry about all them tech-ni-ca-lities after I lock your ass away for good!"

* * *

Unit-01 ran down the deserted streets of Tokyo-3 as Shinji attempted to follow Ritsuko's instructions.

"Okay, turn right in five blocks... there! Now go fifteen blocks then turn left. You should see him at that point."

"Yes ma'am!" he ejected the umbilical when it reached its limit, but didn't have time to stop to plug in again.

* * *

Central Dogma

Ritsuko watched on Hyuga's monitor as the dot that indicated the tractor-trailer made its way towards Shinji's projected position. Above on the upper bridge, Gendo sweat-dropped as he listened to the craziness all around him. "Fuyutski, explain to me just how we got talked into this again..."

Fuyutski shifted uneasily beside him, hoping the request was rhetorical in nature.

* * *

There wasn't much that could get to the normally-unflappable Bo Darville, but when he looked up and happened to see the Eva towering over the buildings in full sprint, he did a double-take. _Holy hell, they weren't kidding. It's real._ He lifted the mike again.

"Snowman, if you're anywhere near the drop-off point, I'd eject that thing now, cause somethin big is headed your way!"

"That's a 10-4, Bandit, I'm outta here!" Cledus' voice came through the radio. "What the hell _is_ that thing?"

"I don't think we're cleared to know, and I'm not inclined to ask, with what they're payin' us..." Darville quipped.

"I hear that. Over and out."

As for himself, he had a closer date with the giant machine closing on his position. He smiled in anticipation.

* * *

Sheriff Justice gave a vicious smile as he closed in on the black Trans-Am. He didn't even notice the giant machine headed his way. "I got 'im now, Junior, I got 'im now!"

His son happened to look up at the last minute. "Daddy look out!!"

* * *

The Pontiac 400 engine roared, the entire frame of the Trans-Am shaking with barely-restrained power as Darville held the accelerator to the floor.

_This one's gonna be close..._

The gigantic machine was almost on top of him. He glanced up at the rear-view mirror to ensure that the police cruiser was still on his tail. He saw the Eva's foot coming down, almost in slow motion, and he shot through the gap with a yell of triumph just as it came down. He looked back in time to see the foot come stomping down onto the front of the speeding police cruiser causing it to jump into the air, flipping end over end. The car smashed down onto its hood, rolling a couple of times before settling on its wheels. Surprisingly, its CB radio was still intact, because Darville heard the Sheriff cussing out his son.

"...not one word, you stupid shit sack of monkey-nuts! Not one word!"

Darville clicked his mike with a smile. "Better luck next time, Sheriff..."

"Why you...!" the man's voice shook with undisguised fury. "Get back here and..."

* * *

Shinji pushed Unit-01 into a run towards the battle-site. Eva's right hand held what appeared to be a gigantic version of the Ghost Trap, which was coincidentally the size of a trailer. Or maybe it wasn't such a coincidence, since it came out of the tractor trailer driven by Snowman. As Shinji approached, he could see Unit-02 standing and taking aim with the emitter of the experimental Eva-sized positron-containment-unit it wore. As the whip-like form of the sixteenth Angel undulated towards Unit-00's position, Asuka fired. The wavy strand of the containment beam wrapped around the Angel, and the two struggled.

"Where the hell are you, Shinji??" Asuka yelled as she desperately fought the bucking weapon in her Eva's hands. "You people are insane!" she yelled over her shoulder at Venkman. "Is it supposed to jerk like this? How are you supposed to aim..."

Shinji slid to a stop, connecting an umbilical from the backpack his Eva wore to the machine in his hands. A comm box opened on his display.

"Just toss it out there underneath the Angel and activate it," Stantz told Shinji. "Make sure it lands right side up!"

"R-right!" He threw it underhanded, watching as it gouged a trail through the forest, the umbilical trailing behind it. "Asuka! Move the Angel to your left!"

"I'm trying, dummkoph!"

The wildly undulating Angel was slowly dragged through the air until it rested over the trap. Shinji pulled the trigger of his pistol-grip control and watched in satisfaction as the massive doors on top of the tractor-trailer-sized Ghost Trap opened, emitting a brilliant flash of light. The end of the Angel morphed into a face as the long white strand of Armisael was sucked down into the machine.

"Why meeeeeeee...!" the Angel screamed pitifully.

The trap closed with an abbreviated 'burp.'

* * *

Author's Notes: Yes, that was an Evangelion/Ghostbusters/Smokey and the Bandit crossover. No, the men with butterfly nets have not caught me yet.

* * *

Omake #2

The scratchy, impersonal recording only served to increase the anger Yui felt.

"We're sorry. Due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording."

The middle-aged woman slammed the phone receiver back down.

_Why did I even decide to come back? That damned clone of mine dumped me from Project E years ago, and now I rush back at the first letter she sends me._

"Well, this is no use. I guess we won't be meeting here..." Yui took one last look at the post card of the middle-aged, bespectacled male winking and making a thumbs up in the classic 'nice guy' pose.

"Oh well. Maybe I should find a shelter...huh?" out of the corner of her eye she saw the figure of a teenage boy with black hair in a white shirt and black pants standing motionless in the middle of the road several hundred feet away. Looking up in surprise, her view of the street was obscured momentarily by a flock of birds that choose that moment to take flight. Heat waves shimmered off of the empty street. Yui stared, confused. The boy's face had seemed sad, or perhaps wistful. She stood, lost in thought, when suddenly the pavement on which she was standing shook violently. Looking up in stunned surprise, she watched as the Angel came into view around the edge of the mountains.

* * *

Commander Rei Ayanami sat behind her desk, brooding. Her white gloved hands were folded in front of her mouth and her deep red eyes were cold and hard. Voices gave status reports in the background as she watched the battle unfold.

"Unidentified intruder is still coming towards us."

"We've got it on visual, I'm putting it on the main screen."

"It's been fifteen years," she commented to the older man who stood slightly behind her at her shoulder. Her voice betrayed no emotion.

"Yes. Well now we know for sure," Sub-Commander Fuyutski responded.

"The angels are back."

* * *

Yui was caught in the middle of the battle between JSSDF and the Angel, and did not hear the screech of tires. She looked up in surprise at the open door of the sports car in front of her.

"Sorry... Get in!"

The smiling face behind the glasses matched the postcard. Yui overcame her panic and scrambled into the vehicle. Makoto Hyuga jammed the car into reverse, barely missing being stomped into the concrete as the angel stumbled. Both occupants yelled as the car whipped around, desperate to escape the war zone.

* * *

Fuyutski looked away from the battle scene. "The UN forces have been depleted. What are you going to do?"

"Activate Unit-01," Rei answered, rising from behind her desk.

"Activate it? But we have no pilot!..." the old man replied, incredulous.

"Another spare is being delivered," Rei said flatly.

* * *

Yui stood on the scaffolding looking up at the purple Evangelion, her hands on her hips. "So you people managed to build it without my help after all..." she muttered.

A light snapped on, revealing a room above the Eva's head, where Rei stood. "Correct. It's been a while."

Yui looked up at Rei, anger in her eyes. "Why the hell did you call me back here?"

"You're going to pilot the Eva," Rei stated.

"You're crazy! Why would I do that for _you_?"

The hatchway into the hangar opened, and two nurses pushed a gurney onto the scaffolding towards Yui.

"You will pilot it," Rei spoke, "or I will force _him_ to pilot it."

Yui rushed over to the gurney, recognizing the man who lay on it. "Gendo!" He had a patch over his right eye, what looked like a broken arm, and various bandages all over his body. And he wore a plug suit. She looked back up at Rei. "What did you do to him?" her voice was low with rage.

Rei's porcelain features twisted into a vicious smile. "Unit-00 rejected him. I guess Naoko's soul didn't like him for some reason."

"Fine. I'll pilot it."

* * *

(time skip)

Rei stood in the Chamber of Gauf. "All plans are proceeding according to schedule, are they not?" she asked.

"Yes."

Ritsuko's voice held obvious distaste. Rei smiled an evil little smile. She knew that the woman only cooperated with her because of the tapes Rei had of several steamy scenes between Ritsuko and Maya. Blackmail was such a useful tool. Both women stood observing the Gendo-quarium for several moments more before Rei turned her head slightly. "You're dismissed."

Ritsuko turned to go, relief obvious on her face. Rei watched the woman leave. It had been many long years since Shinji had been lost in the contact experiment with Unit-01, but everything was falling into place. The two of them had been teenagers at the time, and had been engaged to be married. And then he had disappeared from her life, leaving her a cold and broken individual.

* * *

(time skip)

The entire Geofront shook from the stress as the mass-production Evas began to initiate Third Impact. Rei stood in front of Gendo in Terminal Dogma, facing the pool of LCL and the massive white form of Lilith crucified on a cross.

"It appears to have begun." Rei's voice was soft. "Now, Gendo, it's time to reunite me with my Shinji once more." Rei pulled off her white gloves revealing the embryonic form of Adam grafted onto her right hand. Gendo looked down at her, his complete devotion for her obvious in his face. Her brainwashing had been very thorough indeed. She shoved her hand into Gendo's chest, and the two of them floated up towards Lilith.

* * *

Author's Notes: ExtinctionsEnd gets the credit for Rei-as-Gendo. Back around Chapter 28 he wrote a review on the idea. Coincidentally, he also gets all the blame, in case any of you were mentally scarred by any of the weird scenes that resulted ;-)


	50. Chapter 50: Descent Into Sorrow

Chapter 50

Avalon Day 3

The room was bright with the morning sun as Shinji sat up in bed, and he felt Asuka stir beside him. Rei was missing, and he looked over towards the closet, which was currently the only other place she could be (unless she had already left the room). She was there, standing in the doorway, her back to him as she dressed. He was about to lie back down for a few moments, his hand already coming up to his eyes to rub the sleepiness from them when it clicked in his mind what he had just seen. He looked back over just as she was turning around, and the deja-vu of the situation almost shook him to his core. She was wearing the school uniform that had for most of her life been her entire wardrobe. The only difference was her face, and he and Asuka were probably the only ones who could have detected this. Despite all she had been through in the resets, her expression most of the time returned to the familiar neutral position. A lifetime habit is hard to break, after all. The only visible change in this neutral expression was the hint of life in her crimson eyes.

As he looked at her, he smiled, and his own eyes took on a faraway look. Rei glanced at him questioningly, but saw that he had zoned out.

"What is it?" she asked, even though she knew most of the answer. It was a testament to how long she had been with the two of them that she asked such an unnecessary question. She knew now that conversation thrived on such vagaries, even if it seemed almost pointless. The seemingly useless questions were like stepping stones towards more important conversational topics that otherwise could not be reached. It amazed her that human language and communication had evolved in such a way, but all she could do as a single person was try to learn more. She had long since resigned herself to being unable to have a meaningful influence on the continuing evolution of human speech.

Shinji did not trust his own words to be able to share with Rei what he was thinking and feeling, and so he slipped out of bed, strode the few paces to where she stood, and joined hearts with her. She closed her eyes, letting the memories and emotions play over her.

She saw, through Shinji's eyes, her figure standing amidst the heat waves in the middle of Tokyo-3 when Shinji first arrived in the city right before the third Angel attacked. She felt what he felt, the loneliness he had been going through, and the anger at what his father had done. The loneliness she understood, having felt the familiar ache for most of her life. The scene changed, and she again saw through Shinji's eyes. She saw her figure standing on the red-tinged waters next to the ruined Tokyo-3, the dark night counterpointing the gloom of Third Impact that had just taken place. The shadowy figures of the crucified mass-production Evas rose out of the water like specters. His mind was a haze of confusion, he having just separated himself from the mass consciousness of humanity. She felt his sorrow as her figure disappeared.

"_You were there, dressed as you are now, at the beginning, and at the end. It's like you were watching over me..."_

They released each other, returning to the real world, and Shinji saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I see." It surprised her that the connection between them (or atleast a connection of some kind) existed even there at the beginning. She had no direct memory of that first appearance, but she did remember looking down on his and Asuka's bodies lying in the sand, and wishing them well as she faded away. It was one of the last memories she had before waking up to find herself in the time loop.

Asuka lay on her side, propped up on her elbow watching the byplay between the two of them with a kind of sadness.

_They're so quick to share things with each other. Why can't it be the same with the two of us as well?_

She still had not found the right time or place to tell him about her own dark past. Still did not even know if he had already picked it up during the time they had been joined more closely, or maybe during Third Impact.

_For all I know he already knows everything._

She refused to believe that, though. Even Shinji couldn't be so dense as to have picked up memories like that and then not immediately come and talk to her about them.

_Sheisse! Who's dense? I'm the one being dense here..._

But try as she might, she still shied away from opening up. If Shinji noticed any hint of her inner turmoil, he gave no sign. She sighed, pulling herself out of bed and trudging over to the closet. A smile played across her face briefly as she saw her usual yellow sun-dress folded neatly in one of the open drawers of the dresser. She wondered momentarily which of her two roomies had reprogrammed the dresser as she put on her clothes.

"You know, I don't care how it is we somehow just wake up all clean, but if I don't get a shower soon, I'm gonna go nuts," Asuka griped.

"Oh, I dunno, I find it kind of convenient." Shinji scratched the back of his head and smiled, glancing back in her direction.

Asuka let another smile cross her face for a moment, and she reached out and ruffled his hair as he left the closet. "You would, you're a male after all. Lack of hygiene included..."

"Hey now..."

This seemingly inane, yet oh so important argument (atleast to Rei) continued out into the hall as the trio left for breakfast. Shinji and Asuka would forget the argument quickly, of course, it being normal, but Rei greatly enjoyed trying to piece together just why such communications took place.

Asuka's slightly somber thoughts concerning her lack of communication with Shinji were banished when the three of them stepped into the brightly sun-lit room that served as the dining area. Care had been taken to make it earth-like and familiar, but walking up to a recessed area in the wall and watching just what you wanted appear with a shimmer kind of spoiled the mood. She had found that thinking or concentrating about something in particular did not change the result. The food that appeared out of thin air was always what she wanted, even if she had not realized it before it had shown up. It was slightly unsettling to walk up thinking you wanted one thing, only to find something else appear, and to realize that if you had been thinking about it, you really _would_ have chosen that new food over your previous choice.

The three of them sat down at the single long table that dominated the room, around which most of the other humans were already present and eating. As Asuka sat, the chair beneath her did its usual squirming readjustment and then almost seemed to vanish, such was the comfort of the fit. She looked around, something seeming to be slightly off in her mind, and then realized. Everyone else was still wearing the default white robes, and the three newcomers brought a splash of vivid color to the otherwise all-white room. She grinned, looking across the table at Kensuke, who was doing his best to ignore the three of them.

"So you thought about the room, but you didn't think about the clothes, is that it?" she needled him.

He wilted under her active stare. "Maybe I like the robes." He was not willing to admit defeat, or that he had overlooked something so obvious.

"Well, what about me?" Ritsuko elbowed him playfully, and he jumped. "If you knew that we could change the clothing selection, I certainly would have appreciated the heads up. Maybe you don't get it, but do you realize that every female in this group was forced to wear the same thing for the first couple of days?"

He blushed. "Okay, fine! I admit it, I didn't know..."

"That's better."

While trying not to be obvious, all the women at the table (except one) began eating faster, desperate to change into something unique. This was of course completely lost on the males, who were as always, oblivious. Asuka basked in the glow of being the only girl with fashion sense currently at the table.

_Okay, one of the two girls,_ she grudgingly admitted. It was Rei after all who had probably reprogrammed the dresser. These thoughts almost distracted her from her thoughts about Shinji. Several minutes later after the usual mundane chatter had resumed, she felt Hikari's light mental touch.

"_Asuka, is something wrong?"_

She jumped slightly, then resumed eating. _"I... what makes you ask?"_

"_I've known you long enough that I can see when something's bothering you." _She paused for a few moments, seeing that Asuka was really struggling. _"I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it, I didn't mean to pry..."_

"_No, that's not it."_ She tried to sound reassuring. _"It's just... look, when I'm ready to talk, you'll be the first one I go to, okay?"_

"_Sure, that's fine."_ Hikari gave her friend the equivalent of a mental hug.

Asuka blushed slightly. It had been kind of her to inquire, and to do it so discretely.

_Why am I making such a big deal? I'll just have to talk to him about it myself. He has no real reason to think there's a need to talk, and _I'm _the one who needs to get something off my chest, and... he just wouldn't be Shinji if he didn't act like he's acting now._

Still, she could not help but wish he would notice her need and approach her on his own. At times they seemed so in tune with each other, but at others she swore he could be so dense.

_Oh well. Maybe I can get some time with him after breakfast._

The only thing that kept her from talking to him right then was that it just felt wrong to discuss such things out in public, even if others probably wouldn't be able to overhear the mental conversation.

Breakfast continued, and she finished before the others. She stood, heading for the other semi-recessed area in the wall which received the trays and remains after the meal, neatly dematerializing them.

"_Heading out?"_ Shinji's mind touched her.

Asuka paused, remembering her plan. _"Yeah."_

_Come on, why is this so hard? Just ask him._

"_I'll see you in the 'meditation chamber' then."_ His amusement was evident in the mental tone._ "Teacher's pet."_ He was of course referring to the praise the Angel had given her after the last session.

She snorted, turning to look over her shoulder to see him looking at her with his usual grin. Well, usual for him _these_ days. It was not often that he smiled back before the resets. She remembered those times with not a few pangs of regret. The misunderstandings and flare-ups between them had been quite intense at times, and yet when looking back on memories, the human mind has a tendency to emphasize the happy moments, of which there were atleast a few. Their initial battle together against the Angel attacking the UN fleet. Their final success in training for the twin Angel. The relaxing times the three of them had spent on the hills on the outskirts of Tokyo-3, stargazing and discussing philosophical questions beyond most other fourteen year olds.

"_Shinji."_

He had been about to turn away, but he caught the look that had come over her face, and it seemed so unlike the Asuka he knew that it caused him to pause. _"Yeah?"_

"_We need to talk."_

He caught the seriousness in her tone, and for once didn't fumble his words or make an improperly timed joke. _"Sure. Anytime you want."_

"_Well, if you finish stuffing your face in time, I'll see you outside the training room."_ She turned, put her tray in the receptacle, and walked out.

Shinji turned back to his food, knowing that was probably as much mushiness as he was going to get out of her. But watching the emotion play over her face had been enough. He counted himself lucky that for him, she allowed her mask to slip, even if it was only slightly. He remembered the more intimate relationship he had with her back when he and Rei had still been merged, and how un-Asuka she had seemed. Of course, he knew that was partly because of the forcible merging they had been undergoing. Looking back, he could tell that though it had been happening much slower, eventually he and she would likely have ended up completely merged just like he and Rei had been. He began eating more quickly, but after several minutes he looked down and decided he really wasn't hungry any more. The two of them had not had a chance to really talk since they had arrived here, and he wanted to do just that.

Rei looked up at him questioningly as he prepared to leave.

"No, take your time," Shinji said. "I'm just going to catch up with Asuka. She wanted to talk."

Satisfied, Rei turned her attention back to her food as he got up.

As he put his tray into the recessed area in the wall, he felt a slight amusement. He didn't have to worry about wasting the food he had left, since the energy it represented would be perfectly reclaimed as it was dematerialized. _Or atleast I assume that's how it works,_ he thought as the tray and food disappeared. He turned to the door and headed for the meditation room.

It surprised him to find an empty room, and even though he already knew the answer, he again looked up and down the hallway. _Where is she? _he wondered as he moved to sit down on his usual pillow. The memory-foam molded to him as he settled himself, the dimly-lit room and empty pillows around him adding to his general unease. His eyes slowly closed as he tried to release the unpleasant chill that pervaded him. In the end, he decided that it was simply the general alien feel of the place. Plus Asuka had never been that comfortable sharing her feelings.

_For that matter, neither have I._

He remembered with some sorrow how he had pushed away Misato when she tried to comfort him in the original time-line after Rei sacrificed herself to save him from the sixteenth Angel. And how he had flubbed things when Asuka came to him in the night after the 'death' of her mother along with Kaworu.

_Kaworu. Wait, shouldn't he be here?_

It had not occurred to Shinji before now, things had been so new, and the Angels had kept the humans so busy. He centered himself, taking the time to just think for a moment.

_What exactly are we being prepared for? Why will we need Evas?_

_Everyone around us are Angels. And it wouldn't be a stretch to think that some of them are the same Angels that came to earth seeking Adam and the clones we made of him, if Asuka's prediction is correct._

He realized that he still knew next to nothing. The Angels here seemed to have so many technological wonders, and yet their only recourse to retrieve Adam was to manifest themselves into the earthly dimension as monstrous war machines. He could only assume that they suffered some kind of limitation when passing over to earth's reality, or... something. It just didn't make sense. So deep was his concentration that he almost missed the door hissing open. He looked up and found that he really wasn't that surprised after all to see the familiar ash-haired Angel.

"Kaworu."

The calm smile and neutral facial expression mirrored what he saw in the countenance of every other Angel he had run across so far.

"_Perhaps I can answer your questions."_

* * *

Asuka felt a twinge of guilt as she rested in the familiar contours of the plug-seat, the curving walls of the simulation-plug surrounding her, embracing her. She closed her eyes, fingering the dummy-pistol-grip controls to either side as the chamber filled with LCL.

_Shinji, we'll talk soon, I promise._

She had been surprised to find the female Angel already in the meditation room, almost as if she had been waiting for Asuka to show up early. _"Because of the results of your last session, we should advance your training,"_ the woman had said. They were the words she most wanted to hear, and a very small corner of her psyche was relieved at the excuse to not have to open up to Shinji quite yet. And so she had followed the Angel without complaint away from the meditation room to their unknown destination.

It was not far, as it turned out. The Angel led her down the long transparent hallway that stretched through the giant Eva-bay (which at the moment was pitch black). It was slightly unsettling, for the ambient lighting of the glass tube in which they walked caused it to glow, yet the light did not reach more than a few feet beyond the clear walls, so she could see nothing of the vast chamber that stretched below and around them.

_Are the Evas complete now? Or have they been moved?_

At an earlier stage in her life she would not have hesitated to ask the questions, no matter who she was with, but for some reason she held back. Ahead in the distance she could see that the transparent walkway terminated into a square structure that seemed to hang in the middle of the room with no support. She could only guess, for most of the structure was hidden in shadow, lit only by the ambient glow from the glass tube itself.

Upon reaching the hatchway into the strange structure, the doors slid aside revealing a blank white square room with what appeared to be a single simulation plug rising diagonally from the floor. The room was much smaller than the giant ware-house-sized room in NERV that served a similar purpose, but the simulation-plug appeared to be identical. The hatchway to the plug slid up silently, revealing a plug-seat similar to the ones she knew. The Angel laid a palm against a nondescript section of wall which seemed to recess a few millimeters and slide into the wall, revealing a small cubby-hole. She stepped aside and Asuke approached, recognizing the folded plug suit. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she fingered the familiar red rubber-like material.

This was how she found herself back in the form-fitting red suit she had so often worn before, sitting in the dimly-lit LCL filled simulation plug, about to undergo some sort of harmonics test. This was all she could assume, in any case.

"_Meditate, as you did in the last exercise."_

The Angel's words filtered through her consciousness as she raised her head and opened her mouth, letting out the last of the air bubbles from her lungs. As the LCL shimmered and seemed to disappear, she felt a slight twinge from her A10 clips and a sense of vertigo tugged at her. The feeling intensified, then vanished, leaving her with a lingering antiseptic taste.

_That was different. _She relaxed slightly, figuring the worst was over. _Oh well, atleast it doesn't smell like blood. _Her mouth twitched. _Which makes sense. I can't see the Angels using the same thing NERV uses for LCL._

As the minutes dragged on, the novelty wore off. She experimentally tried to access AT-space the way the pilots had done so on earth, but found that she could not. She briefly wondered if it was simply more difficult with the new systems, or if the answer was more arcane (such as the fact that they were in a different reality now).

_No, it can't be that. We can still communicate telepathically, and according to Kensuke's experiments, that uses AT-space as well. So it must be that it's more difficult. Or maybe that ability has simply been locked out in the hardware..._

"_Please, calm your thoughts."_

She blushed slightly at the Angel's mental command, and took a deep breath in and out, releasing all of her questions. Moments later, she felt another slight twinge through her clips, and it became somewhat easier to clear her mind. After several minutes the plug almost seemed to disappear around her as she drifted deeper into her consciousness.

* * *

"Asuka..."

Her mother's voice.

_No, not my mother..._

She felt the soft touch of her mother's hand enfolding her own, and flinched, not daring to open her eyes.

"Asuka, what's wrong?"

She wanted to pull her hand back, but could not seem to move.

"You're... you're not my mother..."

"Of course I am." The voice pressed at her, longing for acceptance.

"No!" She pulled her hand away.

"I'm all you've got..." the sorrow in the voice caused her to look up. She was floating in an ocean of LCL, the surface dozens of meters above rippling gently. She was sinking slightly, and the her mother's figure was slowly moving upwards, her hand stretched out towards her daughter. "Please, don't..."

The figure shimmered abruptly, changing before her eyes. Instead of the usual shirt and pants, her mother now wore what looked like a very primitive all-black plug suit. Cables and wires ran from various parts of the suit, wrapping around and trailing behind her. Asuka recoiled. "Stay... stay away... I know you're not really her. My mother rejected me..."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know the contact experiment would go so..." Her words became garbled as distance grew between them.

"What?" Asuka shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs of her former meditative state. "Wait!" She reached out, but it was too late, and the distant figure faded from her vision.

"Come back..." The voice was distant in her numbed senses as everything became hazy around her. "Come back..." At first she thought it was still her own voice calling out to her mother, then weight seemed to return, and she felt pain in her hands where she was gripping the pistol-grip controls tightly.

"_Come back..."_

The Angel's voice.

As the LCL drained away she doubled over, coughing and sputtering. After expelling all the fluid from her lungs, she lay back, exhausted. Her limbs felt sluggish, as if she had been awake for days, and all she wanted was to go back to her room and sleep. A warmth passed over her, and suddenly she was completely dry.

_Of course._

She gave a tired snort.

_I don't think I have the energy for a shower anyway... even if I could figure out how to program the room to add a shower. I'm going to have to do that, eventually. Shinji doesn't mind, and Rei is Rei, but damn it I want a shower.  
_

She ran a hand through her hair, which was surprisingly untangled. The hatchway in front of her slid upwards as she detached her A10 clips, dropping them on the plug-seat as she pulled herself out of the simulation plug.

* * *

Asuka blinked tiredly, scrubbing a hand across her face as she lay in bed. She vaguely remembered changing and making her way back to her room. Looking over to her left, she saw that out the window it was growing dark, but the stars were not yet visible.

_Did I sleep the rest of the day?_

She sat up, feeling a familiar twinge, and ran a hand through her hair, but she was not wearing her A10 clips.

_I could have sworn..._

She looked down at her rumpled sun-dress.

_Scheisse. Oh well..._

She dragged herself out of bed and went over to the closet to change. She pulled open the drawer, expecting to see another yellow sun-dress, and was surprised to see a familiar-looking short-sleeved shirt and black pants.

_That... _she slammed the dresser shut, her heart pounding. _That's impossible. The clothes my mother was wearing..._ She shut her eyes tightly as vertigo tugged at her. Her stomach complained as she gripped the dresser to keep from falling. The sudden nausea passed, and she opened her eyes, her hands shaking slightly. She pulled open the dresser again to find the usual yellow sun-dress.

_Must have been seeing things..._

She paused, considering the yellow dress.

_Oh_ _forget it._

She just didn't feel like bothering with wearing her trademark clothing. She stood, taking one of the white robes from a hangar and tossing it on the bed. She sat down beside it, suddenly weary for some reason. It had been since breakfast that she had last eaten, and her stomach twisted with hunger, but she lay back down on her side, one hand gripping the pillow, the other hand fingering the white cloth of the robe.

_Just for a few minutes..._

Her eyes drooped.

* * *

She jerked awake some time later, and the room was dark. Looking over her shoulder out the window, she saw a hint of pink and purple on the horizon. Blinking the sleepiness away, she saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

"Who's there?"

Rei's soft voice answered. "I apologize for waking you, I have a meeting with one of our instructors."

"No, that's okay, I need to get up anyway," she mumbled blearily, getting out of bed to empty her bladder. She stumbled into the wall in the darkness, moving along until she found the seam and slipped into the small bathroom as the door slid open. As she relieved herself, she tried to work through the muddle in her mind.

_Why am I so tired?_

The dimly lit bathroom, styled much like the one in Misato's apartment, didn't help. Finishing her business, she stood before the mirror, turning on the faucet for cold water, letting it run for a while. She splashed some on her face, rubbing her eyes and looking in the mirror.

"You look like shit," she told the reflection. The girl staring back at her had dark circles under her eyes, and was still wearing the rumpled run-dress. She rested a hand against the wall, running the other one over her face, trying to wake herself up. After several minutes she gave up, exited the bathroom, and flopped back onto the empty bed, but her complaining stomach would not let her sleep.

_I wonder where Shinji is. Dummkoph probably has a meeting as well..._

With a start she realized she had no idea what her own schedule looked like.

_Verdammt! I've probably already missed my tactics class. I must have missed _all_ my classes..._

She reluctantly got out of bed, going over to the dresser in the closet where she had left the small electronic pad that had her schedule in it. Picking it up and touching the screen to turn it on, she reflected on the fact that despite their placid expressions, the Angels seemed to have no sense of humor. She had not yet seen one of them angry, but then again she also had not yet missed a scheduled class.

_What the hell..._

She scrolled down the list, but all of them had the word 'canceled' beside them. All of them except the next one, which was another meditation class with the female Angel.

_Oh. She probably covered for me, and canceled my other classes. That harmonics test, or whatever it was, must have been rough, to have this kind of effect on me._

She went back to the bed where she had thrown the white robe before falling asleep again, and changed into it. She dropped the electronic pad into one of the pockets in her robe as she slipped on a pair of the shoes in the closet, and left the room, heading for the mess hall. Trudging down the slightly curving, dimly lit hallway, she reflected that she had never been out at night. She met no one (human or Angel) on the way, and walked through the door to the dining hall as it slid open. Pausing before the food receptacle to glance down as her selection materialized, she snickered once. A single plate graced the middle of the tray, and on it was a flat square of what appeared to be bread of some kind. It looked tasteless. She broke off a corner and bit down on it.

_Yep. No taste at all._

Then again, she really didn't feel like eating (though her stomach contradicted her brain in that regard), and the square of tasteless material before her was acceptable.

_Hm. Food dispenser as psychoanalyst. I wonder what this tasteless food says for my mental state..._

Looking around, she saw that the dining hall was deserted except for Hikari, and so she sat down opposite the girl.

"Wow," Hikari intoned. "You look like..." she stopped herself.

"...shit. I know." Asuka finished the sentence for her blushing friend. "Didn't sleep well, I guess." She gnawed a piece off of the nutrition square before her, dropping it back on the plate with a 'thud' and grinning slightly at Hikari's expression.

"Um. What's that?" she asked, staring at Asuka's plate.

"I don't know. But it's what I want, apparently."

"I... see."

"Where's your stooge?" Asuka asked, after several moments of uncomfortable silence.

"Oh. I don't know, actually. Probably some test or another... We don't have the exact same schedules." Several moments of silence. "Where's yours?"

"The same." Asuka looked around. "Why is it so dark lately?"

"They don't turn up the lighting until after sunrise. You didn't know?"

"Oh, um..." she flailed her tired brain. "I usually sleep in, so I wouldn't know... wait, sun_rise?_ I thought it was still the evening..." She looked around her friend's shoulder out the picture window stretching the length of the dining hall, and the horizon was indeed a few shades brighter. She jumped as she felt Hikari's hand touch hers.

"Sorry about that... are you okay? You look... out of it."

Asuka looked down at the half-eaten food bar in her hand, putting it down on the plate with a sigh. She tried to pull together an answer that reflected her feelings, but found that she could not.

Hikari got up, having finished eating. "Look, if you want to talk, just let me know. I'm always there for you." Asuka watched her leave, but was too tired to call after her.

_Shiesse, it's going to be a long day._

She took another bite, chewed it slowly, then gave up, pushing herself to her feet. She put the tray in the trash receptacle and set off down the hall.

_Atleast my first class is meditation. I don't think I could concentrate enough for anything else._

After an interminable walk, she turned the final corner and saw that the door was already open. She almost ran into Shinji, who was on his way out. Through the doorway she saw Kensuke talking with a male Angel, but no one else was inside the meditation room.

_Shinji._

She turned, catching a glimpse of the boy turning the corner at the end of the hall. "Wait, Shinji!" He must not have heard her, for he was gone and did not reappear. Too tired to follow, she trudged into the room as Kensuke and the Angel were leaving. As she sat down on a cushion, the room darkened, since she was the only one in the room at that point, and she was now motionless.

Some time later she came to her senses suddenly at a soft voice.

"You should not be here."

She blinked away stars, wincing at the crick in her neck. _Must've fallen asleep._ Looking up, she saw the female Angel in the doorway, a frown on her normally placid features.

"Come with me. You were supposed to report to the test chamber."

As she stood, she pulled out the electronic pad, thumbing down to the 'meditation' entry. Opening it up, she saw from the small map on the screen that she was indeed in the wrong place. "Oh. I... guess I didn't notice. I was kind of tired..." she trailed off noticing that the Angel had left. Too exhausted to do more than get exasperated in her head, she went to the door and looked down the hall to find the Angel walking slowly towards the harmonics chamber. Sighing, she followed.

As they turned a corner and entered the lighted transparent walkway, she noticed with a sense of detachment that the giant Eva bay was still completely dark. "Are the Evas complete?" she asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Yes and no," came the soft response. Asuka wondered at that, but was too tired to inquire further.

* * *

As LCL filled the chamber, Asuka leaned back, finally able to rest. She drifted, semi-conscious even as she felt the twinge from her A10 clips and the murky liquid shimmered and seemed to disappear. Even the lights in the plug seemed dark, now. She felt a distant tremor, and closed her eyes.

Another tremor. This one shook the plug.

_Why am I in here?_

_What's going on?_

She struggled to open her lead-weighted eye lids. The plug was completely dark, and she was huddled in a fetal position. Eva came to life around her as another depth charge exploded almost on top of her. She felt her mother's hand enfold hers as she stood to tear apart the destroyer floating above her. With a growl, she lifted the ship into the air and tossed it onto the missile launchers.

_This... it's the same as when the JSSDF attacked NERV. What..._

Missiles arrowed in all around her, but she suddenly recoiled as she felt the embrace of her mother's AT-field around her.

_She's not my mother..._

The field wavered, and the devastating explosions from the missiles tore apart her Eva.

* * *

She sat up in bed with a strangled cry, covered with sweat. Looking frantically around the darkened room, she began to calm down.

_A dream._

She lay back down, exhausted, the sheets leaching away the excess perspiration. As she drifted back to sleep, her arm shifted over onto Shinji's resting form.

_Shinji's here,_ she thought muzzily, but she was already almost asleep. _In the morning..._ she promised herself. _I'll talk to him in the morning._

* * *

She awoke to movement, and the covers tangled around her. Looking over in confusion, she saw Shinji straightening his shirt and running his hand through his hair.

"Ah. The patented Ikari morning routine." Atleast she felt a little more awake now.

He grinned, leaning over the bed and planting a kiss on her forehead. "I do it just for you."

"You gonna eat?" she asked, sitting up as he prepared to leave.

"Already did. I'll be late if I wait around too much longer."

"Oh." She looked back down at the bed.

He paused, seeing her expression, and how tired she looked. "I can be late. What's up?"

She smiled wanly at his thoughtfulness. "I just wanted to talk, but it'll take too long. Go on, you don't have to wait for me."

"If you're sure..." he said hesitantly.

"Of course I'm sure!" she couldn't keep the exasperation from her voice. "Later," she repeated, in a more moderate tone.

"Ja wohl, as you command," he gave a brief smile and mock salute as he backed out the door.

She shook her head with a parting grin. "I'll remember that next time we spar!" she called after him. She got up, glancing out the window at the sleet-gray overcast sky. _I don't think I've seen such cloud cover on this planet before. I wonder if it rains._

As if in answer, several large drops suddenly splashed against the window, streaking down.

_Why didn't I just join hearts with him?_ she thought glumly._ It wouldn't have taken long..._

She looked down on the wind-whipped trees far below. The window and walls were obviously well sound-proofed, because she did not hear even a distant howl from the wind and rain outside.

* * *

Dressed once again in one of the plain white robes hanging in the closet, she walked slowly down the hall. As she passed Touji's and Hikari's room, the door opened.

"Oh, Asuka. Are you feeling better?"

She blinked at Hikari's question.

"...yesterday when we ate, you seemed pretty out of it..." the girl continued, seeing the confused look.

_It wasn't a dream after all? What's going on... _The world seemed to spin briefly around her, and she reached out a hand to steady herself against the wall.

"Are you okay?" Asuka felt Hikari's arm encircle her shoulders to keep her from falling. "Of course you're not okay... Hey! Someone help..." She heard Hikari's distant yell, and her vision went gray as she passed out.

* * *

She came to inside the simulation plug, and the female Angel's face swam into view. She felt the woman connecting A10 clips to her head. "What's... happening?" she slurred. The woman looked at her, sadness in her eyes as she rested her hand on the lip of the hatchway. "I don't want to keep seeing these images. Don't make me do this..."

"_This will be the first direct test of the system."_ She felt the Angel's mental voice. _"Your signal will be relayed to Unit-02. Just relax."_

"No, please...!" As the hatchway slid shut, the Angel's face morphed, and she gasped.

_The fifteenth. It's why... she's so familiar. Why didn't I see it before? Damn it..._

Anger and shame clouded her vision as the chamber filled with LCL, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut out the images that threatened to invade her consciousness.

_Kyoko, knitting._

_Her mother's outstretched arms._

_The slowly twisting form of her mother's body, hanging from the ceiling._

She saw strobing lights against her eyelids, and she opened them hesitantly. Her fuzzy vision cleared, and there was a slight vertigo as she felt, for the first time in ages, her Eva around her. It was almost completely dark in the giant Eva bay, the only illumination coming from above her, the thread of light that must have been the transparent hallway stretching across the room. Suddenly a beam of soft light shone down from the boxy structure in the middle of the room, illuminating her Eva.

_No. Not again..._

The Angel touched her mind once more, perhaps to give her further instructions, and Asuka recoiled from the connection. Her vision turned red with fury and she felt her Eva come to life around her.

_What the hell, it's not restrained at all??_

Almost without thought, she stood, bringing her fist up and ramming it through the boxy structure that she knew held the Angel. Too late, she remembered that it also held her simulation plug, and her own physical body. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) her Eva's fist tore through the wall and caught the female form without destroying the equipment or tearing any lines or connections. Eva crushed the woman in its fist, and Asuka felt a cold chill go through her as her anger drained away and she realized the consequences of what she had done. The Eva bay was suddenly lit up with red emergency lighting, and she was surprised to find that her Eva was the only one present in the giant chamber.

"Not good..." She ran through the options in her head, and they weren't pretty. She had no idea where the exit was, if there was one, and it didn't even matter, since she wasn't physically in the Eva. It was at this point that she felt the power of the resets return to her. As a door slid open on the far wall and angelic figures floated into the room, she closed her eyes in sorrow.

"Damn it, how did it come to this?"

Reaching inside the Eva with her consciousness, she activated the resets, and everything faded to black around her.

* * *

The reality that unfolded before her eyes was not the post-Third-Impact world, as she had been half-expecting (though since she was no longer on earth, she had no idea how that would have worked). Instead, the inky blackness which enfolded her was marred only by a thin ribbon of light that stretched off into the distance. Intending to take a closer look, she found that the ribbon had suddenly expanded, and as she cast her gaze down its length, she knew that it represented the line of time. The segment representing the the past several days was smooth (since they had lost the use of the resets), but beyond that the ribbon began looping in upon itself, sometimes comically so. In the distance she caught a glimpse of an extremely large and complicated swirl that had to be the repeated resets they had taken when learning about the MAGI from Ritsuko. She had never felt such a degree of control before, and the enormity of it all stunned her briefly.

She moved backwards sixty seconds and deposited herself back into the time-line. Once again she found herself synched with the newly finished Unit-02 looking up in the darkened Eva bay towards the boxy structure that held the Angel. She fought against her anger.

_I can't kill her. I need to talk to her, like I need to talk to Shinji._

Red emergency lights once again illuminated the giant hangar, and she swore to herself.

_Of course. The Angels are in the resets, so all of this is moot._

She closed her eyes, blinking back tears.

_Stupid, Asuka. Really stupid._

She brought herself back to the pseudo-reality and once again observed the ribbon of time. Bone-weary and desperate for even a few moments of comfort, she flew along the path of light, skimming her 'hand' along it as she went. She finally found what she was looking for, and dropped herself into the new reality.

* * *

The cloying darkness of night in the post-Third-Impact reality was broken only by the calming sound of waves gently rolling along the shore. She held back her sorrow and tears as she rested in Shinji's embrace in the lawn chair. Shinji's and Rei's embrace. This was the time shortly after the two of them had merged. As she felt his breath tickling the hairs on the top of her head, she realized she had no idea of the ramifications of what she had done. He was asleep now, but he would know immediately what had happened when he awoke.

_How can I face him?_

_And yet how can I not..._

There was no running from this. It was without a doubt the worst mistake she had ever made in her life, and it not only affected her and Shinji, but everyone else as well. Weary beyond measure, she drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

She drifted awake to find the sky just beginning to brighten. She turned in Shinji's embrace, laying a hand on his chest.

"Shinji."

She felt him stir.

"I'm sorry..." she began, but her voice broke, and she didn't know how to continue.

"For what?" She felt his fingers run through her hair, then he stopped abruptly. "...wait, you took back control of the resets? I thought..."

She felt his confusion, and then with a sudden jolt of realization, she remembered that he could feel everything from her as well.

_Damn it. Our connection was a lot stronger at this point, before the Angels fixed things..._

She felt him, and knew that he had no idea what was going on. He didn't know. Which could only mean... She closed her eyes and once again everything went black.

* * *

She flew aimlessly down the ribbon of time, almost not seeing as the various realities flashed across her consciousness one after another.

_Alone. No one else is in the resets with me, now._

_What have I done?_

She had no physical body, and could not weep, but the grief still tore at her, gnawing away at her defenses.

_Atleast I know what Shinji felt, when he erased Rei's memory._

Not that it mattered, any more. He was gone, along with everyone else. Irrevocably changed, through her actions. Everything they had built together...

_I'll never call him weak again._

As she drifted along, waves of sorrow flowing through her, she almost failed to notice when she had passed the starting point of the resets. The complex swirls and complicated patterns disappeared, and the ribbon smoothed out, almost completely flat again. With a dull sense of detachment, she deposited herself into the time-line.

* * *

She found herself in her quarters in Nerv-03, in Hamburg Germany, lying in her bed. She curled up into a fetal position and wept bitterly until she was too exhausted to move. Weakly hugging her pillow to her chest, she fell into a dreamless sleep. The alarm clock rudely woke her, but she did not shut it off. Several minutes later, the door slid aside to reveal Kaji, a worried expression on his face. Through dull, glassy eyes she saw his lips moving, but did not hear anything. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sent herself back to the ribbon of time.

* * *

As she floated along, she pondered the responsibility she had, the world in her hands, and how thoroughly she had messed it up.

_All this power, and I've got nothing now._

She cast her gaze down the lengthening trail of light, to its end. Or its beginning, actually. Her beginning, the time of her birth. Only briefly did she ponder ending her own existence. It just wasn't in her makeup.

_I'm not going to run away._

Yet what could she do? A sad smile traced across her lips as she realized what it was she approached.

_That's the day._

_I don't have a clear memory of it now, but that was the final day of my mother's life._

She gingerly placed herself back into reality, wondering what would happen.

* * *

She looked around. She once again found herself in the Hamburg NERV facilities, but everything seemed larger.

_Because I'm smaller. I guess I would be about three years old._

It was odd to be so young and yet remember everything. The sun was streaming into the kitchen window of the apartment, and her mother knelt before her, beaming with happiness. A tear slipped down Asuka's face at the sight.

"Don't cry, dearest, I'll be back tonight." Kyoko reached out, pulling her onto her shoulder into her embrace.

"Mama, don't go." It was hard to speak, because of her age, and because of the lump in her throat. She closed her eyes, putting her arms around her mother's neck, not wanting to let go ever again. This was the last time her mother would be whole.

"I have to go. Today is a very important day."

Her small shoulders shook as she wept, knowing the truth of that statement. She felt her mother's hand rub up and down her back, as ever so gently she rocked back and forth.

"I love you, Asuka, I always will." She felt the break in her mother's voice. The woman must have known that the experiment carried an element of danger, just not how much. That knowledge had been kept from her, by SEELE and the others. "I'm doing this for you. I know you don't understand, but this is all to protect you. To protect everyone."

She felt her mother shift slightly as she sat down cross-legged on the kitchen floor, not willing to pull away. Asuka cried until she felt completely empty of tears. Some time later, she finally let loose of her mother's neck and pulled back, taking one last look at the woman's face. It was full of sorrow, mirroring her own, but it also held hope, and anticipation, at the experiment that she did not know would go horribly wrong. Yet a piece of her mother _would _survive. The best piece. The one that wanted to hold her now.

_Why did I have to screw things up so badly?_

_I should have been happy with what I had. She wasn't the woman who rejected me, but she was who she was. Part of my mother._

She closed her eyes, not trusting herself to look any longer.

"Goodbye, mama."

She felt the woman pull her close once more as everything faded to black again.

* * *

She flew along the ribbon of light, her grief lessened, and a glimmer of hope tugged at her consciousness. The beginning of the ribbon came into view, a simple little twirl that seemed to fold in on itself before disappearing.

_This is all that's left. The origin._

With no more than a moment's hesitation, she reverted herself back along the time-line, and braced for... whatever.

* * *

NOT THE END!

Not nearly.

heh, I have to put that, I guess. Anyway, see you in a bit...

I have an omake, but I'm too tired to write it, plus the chapter is long enough, I think, and it's been too long since I updated. I'll save it for a shorter chapter.


	51. Chapter 51: Dreamscape

Chapter 51

The darkened living quarters was lit only by the thin soft light from the mostly full moon, and even that faded in and out as wisps of high-altitude cloud formations drifted across the sky outside. The First and the Third Children lay side by side underneath the covers of their shared bed, both longing for sleep and at the same time shying away from the dreams they knew would haunt them. Or him, anyway. Rei still did not dream, had never dreamed, that part of her human heritage apparently suppressed by her Angelic side. For her, as always, there was only stark harsh reality. She felt her companion shiver slightly, though not from the cold. The technology surrounding them would not allow anything but the utmost comfort, atleast physically. Mental and emotional comfort were entirely different subjects.

"I... can't feel her any more."

The ache of loneliness within her mixed with an emotion she had never felt before, as she watched Shinji suffer. She knew he felt the same emptiness, a kind of blank area in the heart that used to be occupied by a piece of Asuka's being, the essence of who she was. She turned her body slightly towards him, taking one of his hands and intertwining her fingers through it, and putting her other hand on his chest. Closing her eyes and nestling her head against his shoulder, she inhaled deeply, but even his familiar scent could not bring her comfort. She choked back a sob, shuddering slightly, wishing she knew what to say. It had been two days since their shared companion had gone missing. She remembered their last attempt to locate her, using their connection through AT-space, and it was her turn to shiver slightly. Shinji sensed her distress, and she felt him turn and put his free arm around her, pulling them closer together, his cheek pressing into her hair.

* * *

Flashback, one day earlier

The two beings sat in their darkening quarters, the last of the evening light from the setting sun barely illuminating the horizon. Their hearts joined temporarily, the two quested out along their shared connection, desperately seeking their lost partner. Her essence was fading even now, they felt it almost as a stretching, or perhaps a distending, as if it was folding in upon itself, or withdrawing somehow.

_No... Asuka!_

The strain was evident on their faces, and for a moment their minds touched. The both felt her recoil slightly, almost as if rejecting them. It so shocked them that they pulled away from each other with a slight jerk. The brief contact had been enough for them both to feel the anguish and confusion she was experiencing.

_What's happening to her?_

Neither of them knew which one asked the question, but it didn't matter since neither of them had an answer.

End Flashback

* * *

As they held each other, she remembered his words to her that morning.

"_I've... been having visions. Flashes of things, during the pilot training meditation." His voice barely disguised the fear she knew he felt. "Almost like what I went through... during Third Impact." It pained her to hear him in this state, almost a complete reversion to the deep depression he had undergone before temporarily merging everyone on earth into a single unified being to satisfy his own intense longing for physical and emotional complementation. "The last thing she said to me was that she __wanted to talk." Rei could feel him struggling with himself. "I can't help feeling like this is my fault. Like... I could have done something." An intense wave of emotion passed through him, and she caught the fringes of it, including the mental image that went along with it. It was helplessness, and the image was from Shinji's point of view, as he knelt next to Asuka's hospital bed where she lay comatose, reduced to a vegetative state after her brush with the sixteenth Angel, and with her own tortured past._

His breathing slowed, and she felt him relent finally to his body's exhaustion, drifting away into unconsciousness. She wavered momentarily, considering what little she knew of the situation. It was most likely the Angels that taken Asuka, and were doing some sort of test, or training with her. The alternatives to that were too nebulous to even speculate. But would it even do any good to stay awake, and watch over Shinji, hoping she would be by his side when the Angels came for him (if they came for him, she reminded herself), and if she confronted them, would they even answer her questions?

_I either trust them or I don't._

It hurt her to consider the possibility that she didn't really trust her own species. As she lay in Shinji's arms, she remembered the dream they had shared shortly before merging, and she made her decision. Hovering on the brink of the transition between wakefulness and sleep, she felt him begin to slip away, and a cold fear gripped her. She tried to follow, descending alongside of him into the dream world as she had done before, but he seemed to move in a direction that defied reality, and then he was gone.

_No. I'm already asleep, and it's just the dream. Just a..._

* * *

Asuka trudged through the forest, her exhaustion warring with her determination to press on no matter what. Her only solid companion was the walking stick she held in her right hand, which she had stripped off a semi-dead tree countless miles back.

_Just a little farther, then I'll rest a while._

Her eyes were fixed on the sharply rising ground ahead of her as she struggled through the dense growth of trees and bushes that blocked her path. Despite her tired state, her grip was firm and her footsteps steady as she pulled herself up the steep rise to the top of the short promontory she had chosen as her next resting point. Only a life-time of martial-arts experience and grueling physical training had kept her from twisting her ankle or worse numerous times along the trail she had blazed thus far. With a final heave, she reached the top, and the trees thinned out, giving her a stunning view in any direction she chose to look. With her right hand she gripped the walking stick, and with her left she held onto a thin sapling that grew out of the ground as she caught her breath.

The rolling forest continued along into the distance almost as far as she could see, terminating abruptly against what had to be a massive cliff wall. She could see no features on it whatsoever, and the trees looked like fuzz against its base. Despite all the mind-numbing experiences she had gone through, her heart rose slightly.

_Soon it'll all be over. That's the first sign of something new in days._

_Or is it weeks? I'm losing track of time..._

She snorted tiredly at her unwitting play on words as her breathing slowed. Taking a moment to look over her shoulder momentarily, she caught a glimpse over the treetops of the massive reality-defying whirl that was the part of the time-ribbon where Ritsuko had taught her about the MAGI. She stared at the spectacle for a few long moments, before turning back around to face the distant cliff and sitting down with a sigh. She was no longer surprised to find the human figure of Arael sitting next to her. The Angel had been one of her constant companions ever since she had entered this weird section of the time-line.

_If I'm even on the time-line any more._

She had begun to wonder more than once over the course of her nature hike, especially during the long treks through valleys when trees obscured what was behind her.

"Don't rest for too long." The woman's voice was as always, neither harsh nor tender.

"You sound like I'm still in training." Asuka's voice held a hint of exasperation. She gestured around her, "Explain this, or let me rest."

The woman said nothing else to her, instead gazing off towards the cliff in the far distance.

_Mein Gott, I'm cracking up. I'm talking to myself, and enjoying it._

All the Angel ever did was press her on, encouraging her when she got tired, and saying little otherwise. The way she kept appearing and disappearing, it was obvious enough she wasn't real. She was either some manifestation specific to this reality, or Asuka was going to have to admit to herself that she really was going crazy

She sighed again, taking a look around. There really wasn't any easy way to measure time, but if she had to guess, it had actually been two or three days since the resets had returned to her. Hours ago she had prepared to revert herself back to the origin of humanity. She had been prepared for oblivion, for death, she had even briefly considered the possibility of the descriptions of Heaven or Hell, from what little she knew of religion. What she had not been prepared for was this unending rain-forest.

The transition had been gradual. As she had approached the twist in space representing the beginning, she had come closer and closer to the surface of the ribbon itself. She had at first detected a granularity in the ribbon, then she had become aware of the subtle bumps and ridges, and finally she began to notice a definite pattern as the ribbon rushed up to meet her. The next thing she knew, she was standing in a forest that stretched as far as the eye could see in front of her, while behind her the complex twirls of the modified time-line loomed, a constant reminder of where she had come from. To either side, the forest stretched, until it disappeared ominously, signifying the edge of the ribbon. There had been only one way to go, and so she had set off. She had not yet felt the need to eat, drink, sleep, or take care of any other bodily functions other than rest once in a while.

"You feel him, don't you?" Kyoko's voice broke the silence, and her mouth twitched upwards as she turned her head to find her other ephemeral companion sitting on the other side of her. "It's good to see you smile again, daughter."

All Kyoko's form ever did was try to give her hope that others were with her, and that she was not alone. Once, she had felt Shinji (and Rei with him) through their connection, as if the two of them had somehow followed her. Her heart had leaped at that initial hope, for she reasoned that she had spent quite a bit of time meandering through the time-line before coming to this place, and if the two of them had somehow found their way to this reality, it was possible they could have caught up with her. The hope had been dashed when the presences she had sensed turned out to be phantoms, just like Arael and Kyoko. She had closed herself off after that, and the empty place in her heart was well-armored once more. Tears stung her eyes momentarily, and she waited for the emotion to recede before breathing again.

_Enough._

She no longer trusted her connection. At times she felt like Shinji and Rei were receding from her, and the emptiness was almost unbearable, while at others, she swore they were right behind her. She had desperately backtracked a couple of times pursuing the phantom traces, but had never found anything more than illusions, or in most cases, nothing at all.

She stood, looking once again towards the cliff. Detecting slight movement, she focused her gaze, and after several moments of concentration her heartbeat quickened.

_A waterfall._

The distance was such that the noise did not reach her, so she had not even recognized the thin strand of white that stretched down the exact center of the cliff's face, seeming to fade and disappear halfway down. She unconsciously turned her steps towards the new landmark as she set off down the other side of the hill and into the forest again.

* * *

The forest was a blur around her, but Rei paid little attention to her surroundings, except to make sure she did not fall or slow down. She pushed herself viciously, ignoring the pain in her legs that was quickly spreading to the rest of her body as she ran. Asuka was somewhere far ahead of her, and Shinji was much closer. She now felt them both, and that gave her the motivation to push to her limits.

_Is this just a dream?_

She had no point of reference, except for the pseudo-dream she had shared with Shinji before merging, and she did not trust that as a valid base from which to speculate.

_I could not feel Asuka before, but I can feel her now._

That fact lent credence to the possibility that this was indeed another reality, not just a dream, and as she pondered this, her thoughts turned to a more disturbing subject.

_He is well trained, and much more disciplined now, but why am I struggling just to keep up? I should be able to easily overtake him..._

As she considered him, and his pursuit of Asuka who was far ahead of them, she once again felt the beginnings of that new as-yet-unnamed emotion grow within her.

_An ache. Almost like loneliness, but not quite._

_It's... wrong. Negative. I don't know what it is, but I should not be feeling it._

She slowed her pace momentarily to make use of the breathing exercises provided by her art, and to think.

_Why do I feel this way about them...?_

_Fear... Do I fear losing him?_

_No._

She reconsidered this carefully.

_Yes. There is always the possibility of loss. Through death... separation. Any number of things. Betrayal._

_Betrayal?_

This brought a multitude of hurtful emotions, which she recoiled from, before taking a step back and looking critically at what was making her thoughts so chaotic.

_Betrayal is part of the human condition, just as love is._

_Betrayal, Faithfulness. Without one, the other could not exist, much like pleasure and pain._

_Might he betray me?_

_Might I betray him, somehow, in the future?_

The thought stabbed its way through her heart, and her steps faltered, almost sending her into a tumbling heap on the ground.

_These thoughts are not useful._

_No, that is not true. They cause me to feel pain, which is why I shy away from them..._

_Fear. It all comes back down to fear, and trust, as it did at the start._

It had been fear that had kept her from first approaching him when the two of them had first begun to recognize the effects of the resets. Had Shinji not overcome his own fear, she might still be alone.

"_Shinji, I trust you completely."_

Her words to him in AT-space during one of their many harmonics tests. Had that trust merely been a by-product of their improper merging? It hurt her to ask such a question, even in the privacy of her mind, but she had only begun experiencing such doubts after being re-separated from Shinji upon their arrival in Avalon. Her troubled thoughts continued to swirl around as she threaded her way along the path Shinji was making through the underbrush.

Hours went by, and she was forced to slow her pace further at intervals, to rest. The doubts plaguing her did not lessen, but neither did she suppress them.

_Perhaps this is what it means to be human. Perhaps..._

She slowed, sensing a barrier up ahead. The feeling of unease grew within her as she pulled herself up a ravine to the top of a low rise, coming to a stop on the summit. In the far distance she saw the forest terminate abruptly against a sheer cliff that stretched upwards, dwarfing all other landmarks. She hesitantly reached a hand forward, but the foreknowledge brought by her Angelic senses did nothing for her heart. Despair gripped her as a hexagonal flash of white indicated the presence of the invisible barrier that she knew stretched the length of the valley and up into they 'sky', completely blocking her path. The barrier fuzzed slightly as she sank to her knees, her vision blurring as she felt Shinji and Asuka fade into the distance.

_No... NO...!_

* * *

The towering cliff was not as shear as it had looked from far off, atleast not completely. Where Asuka stood, at the base of the waterfall, the cliff's face was indeed vertical, but as she looked away towards the edge of the ribbon, she could see that the mountain sloped more, forming natural ridges and hand-holds, as if it was meant to be scaled.

_Naturally. There's nowhere to go but up..._

The waterfall itself was a spectacle. She could barely make out the top of the cliff, or what looked like the top, where the water poured over the side. The streamer of water diffused as it fell, until it was almost a mist (albeit a rapidly falling mist) where it hit the stream into which it emptied, flowing rapidly into the forest.

_I guess this is it._

Taking a last look around, glancing forlornly back at the silent forest, she took off at a jog along the base of the cliff. After a few minutes she judged that the angle of the slope was climbable, and putting her hands on her hips, she paused momentarily to catch her breath, looking up the treacherously steep rock face.

"_Is this truly what you want?"_

Arael's soft voice broke her reverie, and she turned to face the apparition. "I don't see that I have much choice."

The Angel lowered her eyes, bowing slightly. _"I see. Be careful."_

"Of the climb, or of what I might find at the top?" Asuka asked.

As usual, the female figure did not answer, instead casting her gaze up the mountainside. Despite the sadness and desperation that had marked her flight to this point, Asuka could not help feeling a measure of excitement at what lay before her, and with a renewed vigor, she set a foot into a convenient crack in the sharply sloped rock, grabbed the nearest outcropping, and began pulling herself up the mountainside.

* * *

Rei sat in bed, her back against the hard wall, idly picking at her guitar as the sun tried to send its light through the overcast sky outside. Her thoughts drifted back to when she woke up, her hands grasping empty air where Shinji had once been. Not even a trace of his warmth remained in the sheets. A single tear slid down her face as she felt his presence fold in upon itself and slip away, following Asuka into whatever reality the two of them now occupied.

_Why am I feeling this way?_

_What is this?_

_When I think of the two of them together..._

Her fingers moved automatically, the notes following one another in what might seem to be a pattern at first, but in reality was just random meandering. Her mind followed the notes, desperately searching her past experiences, trying to make sense of this strange negative emotion. She lost track of time, and eventually her head drooped, her body weary from the restless night she had endured after Shinji's disappearance. Images of Asuka rose unbidden in her mind as her playing slowed.

_The redhead's angry face as she thrust herself bodily between Shinji and Rei who were holding hands as the three of them walked towards school. "You two desperately need a chaperon!"_

_Asuka's unhappy glances over at Shinji while they sat during class, the dull drone of the boring professor in the background._

_The way she had threaded her arm through Shinji's as the two of them talked on the beach of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3 while Rei had been briefing Touji on the resets shortly after he had synched with his Eva._

She closed her eyes in concentration, remembering how Shinji had ignored the girl's advances, and the sad almost-angry look Asuka had on her face as she turned away.

_Jealousy. I am experiencing jealousy._

The realization stunned her, and the music faltered momentarily, before resuming its mournful wandering. Before she could consider her discovery further, the door slid open revealing a female Angel in the usual white-robed attire, light neon green hair haloing her face.

Rei drew the woman's name from her mind. "Armisael." She was no longer surprised by the seemingly coincidental meeting, and a surge of anger boiled through her mind. The guitar splintered in her tightening grip, and she flung it across the room, rising smoothly to her feet. The instrument smashed against the wall, falling to the floor as she walked towards the woman, who merely gazed back at her calmly. Shaking with rage as she considered the multitude of unexplained manipulations that were doubtless occurring behind the scenes, and their possible consequences. The nameless anger seeped away as she considered the being before her, and her fists slowly unclenched.

_This is pointless, and I still have almost no solid information._

With a sigh, she released the remaining turmoil of emotions that swirled within her, and resigned herself to whatever was going to happen next. Apparently satisfied, Armisael turned to head down the long curving hallway, not bothering to look back. Rei followed her.

* * *

Rei slowly walked through the forest along the now-familiar path left by Asuka and made more passable by Shinji. She honestly did not know why she was still walking, with the barrier up ahead surely still blocking her way.

"_Your human heritage gives you hope, no matter how little, even if you do not recognize it."_

She did not turn to look at Armisael's effervescent form floating alongside her on her journey, but that did not keep her from appreciating the Angel's words.

_Perhaps she is correct. Am I still allowing myself some amount of hope?_

_Why should I allow myself hope? I don't deserve the care Shinji has given me, _she thought glumly as she pushed her way through the low-hanging branches that constantly blocked her way in the dense forest. _I am like a child when it comes to emotions. He would be better off with Asuka._

Pulling herself up the steep incline, she once again came to rest on the hill that allowed her to view the far off cliff. She felt the two life-beats in the distance, struggling along, and with a forlorn mental sigh, she released her connection to them.

_I wish you well, and I'm sorry..._

Reaching a hand out to touch the barrier one last time before turning away, she was surprised to find her hand passing through empty air. Her eyes widened in shock.

_It's... gone?_

* * *

Her limbs felt like they were made of solid lead, and hands were moving almost on instinct alone as she pulled herself up the side of the shear rock face. The last ten feet felt like ten miles as she struggled inch by inch towards the next handhold, her aching muscles almost completely numb. With a final heave, she threw herself over the edge of the lip and collapsed onto the ledge, panting with exhaustion, the stars shimmering overhead as she blinked tired eyes that were full of stinging sweat. Drifting off into a deep slumber, her last conscious thought was of how pathetic it was to have reached the beginning of creation only to keel over from fatigue.

* * *

Struggling to pry apart her uncooperative eyelids, Asuka reached out a hand to brace against the ground so she could sit up. Panic hit her as the hand met nothing but empty air, and she desperately rolled away from the emptiness, groaning as her sore muscles complained against the sudden exertion. Forcing her eyes open, she was rewarded with a hazy view of the distant forest below, and from this height, the utter strangeness of her surroundings was clearly visible.

The verdant green of the treetops stretched below her out into the distance, sharply outlined by the edge of the time-ribbon on both sides. She experienced a horrific moment of vertigo noticing that the stars in the 'sky' above and around, could also be seen below, around the edges of the ribbon.

"Oh, my head..." She rubbed her eyes for a moment as she sat up, and when she turned around to look behind herself she was greeted by an even stranger sight.

An almost picture-perfect paradise stretched out before her, a veritable Garden of Eden as well-manicured as the grounds inside the Geofront. In the distance, she saw the beginnings of a series of structures whose designs seemed to defy gravity in ways that made the spires of Avalon seem like children's playthings in comparison. The sheer beauty took her breath away, making it almost impossible to take it all in. Everything seemed to shine with an inner light, the vibrant colors making her vision swim. The soft blue of the sky melded into the lush greenery, and all of this was offset by the placidly flowing stream of crystal-clear water which she realized must be the source of the waterfall that had been her constant companion during the torturous climb.

Standing up on unsteady legs, she looked around, trying to understand what she was seeing. Behind her the ribbon of time floated among the darkness and the stars, and in front of her was a paradise of life and tranquility that was beyond comprehension.

"_The beginning."_ Arael spoke, from her left.

"And the end." Kyoko's voice came from her right.

Asuka glanced over at her mother's phantom form as it floated forward. "What..." Then her heart almost stopped. She had been so caught up in the beauty of the surroundings that she had somehow overlooked the female figure walking along almost aimlessly. She had just passed by heading in the general direction of the river, and her back was to Asuka, but there was no mistaking who it was. Kyoko's translucent form reached out towards the woman, as if touching her on the shoulder, and as she turned at the touch, the two of them merged together.

For a moment, the woman's expression was the same blank stare Asuka remembered and dreaded, then her eyes came to life, and the doll she held in her arms fell to the grass. Asuka held her breath as the distance between the two of them closed, and they took each others' hands.

"It's... really you, isn't it?" She wanted it to be, and she knew that if this was just another dream, she would never recover. She tried to protect herself, but knew it was already far too late. She looked into her mother's eyes, desperately wishing she had some way to know for sure. Eyes full of acceptance, and sorrow.

_I can't keep locking my heart away, trying to protect myself. If I never offer my trust, I'll always be alone._

With a sigh, she let her feelings have free reign as she pulled her mother into an embrace. A tumultuous wave of happiness washed over her as the woman whose acceptance she most yearned for returned the hug.

"I love you, and I'm sorry." Kyoko's voice shook with emotion. "I know words will never be enough after what I've put you through..."

"Ssh, you don't have to say anything." Asuka sniffled once, tears blurring her vision of the beauty surrounding her. Where she was, what she had gone through, what might remain to be done, none of that mattered. Her mother was whole, and all was right with the world. Or something like that. After several long moments she drew back slightly, looking at her mother's hands in her own as tears slipped down her face and gathered at her chin.

_So... what? Have I gained my mother, but lost everything else?_

_What happens now...?_

She felt an arm encircle her waist, and heard an impossible voice.

"You know, you're not an easy person to follow."

Of course, it's one thing to talk about a story-book meeting, or coincidence, but in this case it was sadly not so cute. Shinji had lost her trail some ways back, and from where he chose to start climbing, he was too far away to see her as she struggled up the cliff wall. He had pulled himself up over the edge, and passed out several hundred meters from where she lay, similarly unconscious. He awoke to voices, but as he approached, he was stopped dead by the vision of beauty Asuka presented him. Far earlier in the journey, she had tied her hair back with the necklet she usually wore, and her yellow sun-dress was in shreds, but she was fairly glowing with an inner joy that radiated from the center of her being. He could see from her face that despite her exhaustion, she was at peace, and he could find no words. He waited, wracking his brain for something to say, eventually giving up and stepping forward. Something stopped him, perhaps the sense of timing that so often had failed him (except in battle). He waited until she pulled back from her mother slightly, and then he approached.

Forcing her way through the stunned relief that he was real, and what it might mean, Asuka considered the boy before her, and all they had been through together.

_Not a boy, a man._

His eyes had a hardness in them that was completely out of place in the fourteen-and-a-half-year-old body he wore. Their common job, an unexplained (perhaps unexplainable) phenomenon of time, and an inhuman bond, had forced the two of them together in more ways than one. All of that was behind her now. The Evas and their common enemy were who-knows-where, the effects of the time loop shimmered in the distance over the edge of the cliff, and the bond had been shattered by her flight into her own past. It was of her own free will that she reached out, took Shinji's head in her hands, and pulled his lips to hers. She felt his hands encircle her waist as she closed her eyes and once again surrendered to her heart's desire. She opened her mouth against his, but he apparently had the same idea, and her tongue battled his for dominance. Their breath mixed, and despite their combined sweat and exertion from the past days of travel, she reveled in the taste and smell that were uniquely his. Humorously, they both decided to give up nearly at the same time, and she almost laughed into his mouth as they both hesitated, before melting into each other, ceasing their struggles. His arms tightened around her waist as she molded herself against his body, her arms circling his neck as she gripped his hair. She moaned slightly when his mouth slipped off of hers, trailing strands of moisture as his lips marched their way to her earlobe, and the sensitive spot there. She squeaked, tightening her grip on his hair as a shiver of pleasure coursed its way down her spine.

"You devil, how do you know about that?" she whispered into his ear.

The hot breath of his laughter made her shiver slightly. "You kind of started screaming back in Avalon when I -oof!" He broke off, doubling over for a moment before realizing that he wasn't really in pain. "...hey, no low blows!" he quipped, his eyes dancing.

She returned his gaze, her blue eyes flashing with intensity as she smiled. "That's for taking advantage of me back then!"

"I don't think it's possible to take advantage of someone who can kill you in ten different ways without even trying..." he retorted with a snort, remembering their sparring match.

"Don't push it, buster," she snapped, and then put a stop to any further witticisms by placing her mouth over his.

A delicate cough prevented them from getting too involved in the pleasant activity, and they turned to see Kyoko with her hand raised to her mouth, hiding her smile. "Daughter, aren't you going to introduce us?" she giggled.

"Um, you... but..." Asuka spluttered, letting her hands fall to Shinji's waist as she looked at her mother in stunned surprise. Then her eyes narrowed as she saw the laughter in her eyes, and she put a finger on the woman's chest. "Hey, you know good and well who Shinji is, don't play mum with me!"

"I guess you're right dear, now that I look at him, he does seem kind of familiar..." she said as she reached out and ruffled his hair playfully.

"Hmph! Parents." Asuka sniped, grabbing Shinji's arm and threading her own through it. "C'mon Shinji, we need to..." They both turned, and then stopped. Rei stood before them, the glow of her albino skin fading, she apparently having flown the entire way. This was a safe assumption, since her school uniform was still in one piece.

"I..." Rei looked at the two of them, but the confused, conflicted, and in some cases unknown emotions running through her were too much. She could find no words.

_I love you, but who am I?_

_And if I don't even know that, how can you love me?_

Happiness. She could see it radiating from the two of them. They were at peace, and that was all anyone could ask for. She knew that well, after first declaring her love for him, and floating through the ruined hulk of post-Third-Impact Tokyo-3 by his side.

_I'm jealous, but how can I be jealous when I don't know what love is, or even who I am?_

_I'm lost, and I don't even know which world to search to find the answers I need, to questions I don't fully understand._

She looked down at her feet, unable to weep, such was the emptiness in her heart.

_Perhaps this is what Asuka felt, when she saw us float out of the sky._

_It is not something I would wish upon anyone._

The tears finally came, blurring her vision, and so she did not see the look Shinji and Asuka gave each other. "I'm sorry," she began, her quiet voice shaking slightly. "I need..." she broke off as she felt each of them take one of her hands and intertwine their fingers through it.

"What you need," Asuka said purposefully, "is a good soak in a jacuzzi."

Rei's mouth twitched as she remembered the many hours she spent soaking away on the deck of the Break Room, back on earth.

"Aha! Was that a smile?" Asuka prodded, as the two of them led the girl over to the river bank and sat down.

* * *

"Jealous??" Rei's admission stunned Asuka almost into speechlessness. "...b-but, you two... what do you have to be jealous about? I should be the one to be jealous, you two are so close..."

"How much of that was the bond, and how much was actual human feelings?" Rei asked. Her sadness was mostly internalized now, and her face had returned to its usual neutral expression.

"I... don't know." It was something she had thought about as well during the long journey to their present location. "I figured you would know more about it than the two of us, you're part Angel after all."

Rei looked down at her lap. "That's the other problem."

"Hey! No pity parties," Asuka snapped. "Why is being an Angel a problem?"

"You two are human. You know who you are. I don't..."

"Hah." Asuka gave a single bark of laughter. "I'll tell you right now that's not true. Most of us spend a good part of our lives trying to find out who we are. That's another human trait you're feeling."

"I... see." Rei had not considered this, but it let directly to the other problem. "It does not matter. I am like a child. Undeveloped. You deserve better..."

"You want to talk about undeveloped?" Asuka's eye took on a far-away look. "I walled off my heart when my mother rejected me after her failed Contact Experiment. It wasn't until Third Impact that I began to grow up."

She felt almost giddy, having finally unburdened her innermost secret. The uncomfortable silence that followed did not help.

_Jeez, they're two of a kind. Oh well..._

She reached around Rei and slapped Shinji up side the head. "Talk, doofus."

"Oh! Um..." Shinji spluttered, flailing his mind. He did not want to touch this conversation with a ten foot pole, fearing that he would ruin things with one of his usual ill-timed comments. He sighed, resigning himself to fate. "We're all in the same boat, really," he said, thinking about how so many of his classmates had also lost their mothers. "We've all lost someone in much the same way..."

"I have not lost anyone," Rei commented.

"Oh? Ah, that's right..." _oops..._

"Never mind, Shinji," Asuka sighed, "Don't talk."

"Oh well." He put his hands behind his head and leaned back in the grass, waiting for his imminent death. "I'm just happy to be here with the two of you. It's almost like we're back in Tokyo-3, stargazing like we used to."

"True." Asuka leaned back. _Maybe I'll let him off the hook this time._

Rei felt her sadness and tension melt away as she watched the chaotic patterns and ripples of the stream rushing over the rocks of the river-bed. "Thank you." She leaned back, enjoying the sensation of the cool grass tickling her skin, and the warmth of the shared contact between her two companions.

"For what?" Asuka asked, cracking open an eye and peeking at Rei's peaceful expression.

"Everything."

* * *

When she next opened her eyes, the three of them were alone on the riverbank. The sigh of the wind and the soft chime of water over stone and earth were the only things to break the pervasive peace of their surroundings. Asuka reluctantly stood, turning to take a last look into the strange land she still had a hard time accepting in her mind.

_Is this real? What is reality, in the end?_

_We rest so much of our hope, so much of our sanity on these frail and limited senses._

_Mama... wherever you are... goodbye._

She stood looking into the rich and vivid colors of the paradise before her as long as she could, until the tears in her eyes blurred the scene beyond recognition, and she turned away back towards the deep night of the time-line. As her vision cleared, she became aware of the presence of Arael beside her, and two others.

"_We must go. Even here, the flow of time moves, though slowly."_

She sighed in resignation. "Right." Giving one last glance to the three enigmatic guides, she made her way to where the other two lay on the river bank. They had both turned towards each other slightly, and their foreheads were barely touching, the soft breeze moving the loose strands of Shinji's dark hair as he stirred in his sleep.

"C'mon, up and at 'em," she said softly, nudging him with her shoe. He opened his eyes, and Rei unconsciously moved her head, nuzzling his cheek with her nose as he slowly sat up.

Asuka smiled, turning away as Rei awoke.

_So she was jealous. Who could have guessed?_

The Angels had once again disappeared, but there was only one way to go, as usual. Several minutes later she felt a hand in hers, and turned to see Rei's stoic face looking out over the forest. They stood, enjoying the peace for a few moments more, before temporarily returning to the familiar closeness of the connection they used to share. As the three minds touched, Asuka felt a comforting warmth envelop her, and the ground beneath her seemed to vanish. She looked back with a touch of sadness as the cliffs of paradise receded into the distance, then she closed her eyes, entrusting herself to Rei's experienced hands. The winds could not touch them as they sped over the tree-tops, and she relaxed into the two presences she knew so well, Shinji's near-complete selflessness, and the glacial calm that was Rei.


	52. Chapter 52: Where Angels Fear to Tread

Chapter 52

The dark green hues of the forest below melted into the darkness that stretched to both sides of the three wanderers as they flew along above the tree-tops. The stars in the sky counterpointed the massive swirls of the modified time-line ahead of them, and for the first time since her flight back into the past, Asuka found herself with time to think.

_They're really here, I didn't lose everything after all..._

She involuntarily squeezed Rei's hand as tears stung her eyes, her emotions flowing between the other two.

"_What is it?" _Shinji's mental voice ghosted through their connection. She could feel his worry, and Rei's curiosity.

"_I... umm, thought I'd ruined everything, back there."_ The memories she had of those last few days in Avalon were a jumble of confusion. _"I think... the Angel put me through some kind of harmonics test. Then I started having these visions..."_ She tried to explain, but even with the mental link she found it difficult, and could sense the confusion from her two companions.

"_Some of that sounds right," _Shinji finally spoke. _"All I know is that after you left the mess hall, you went missing."_

"_That is correct."_ Rei's soft voice held a hint of worry. She described how she and Shinji had attempted to search for her, and their eventual failure. _"They took Shinji two days later, and after that, they came for me."_

* * *

Flashback

The small square room into which Armisael led her held three cylindrical structures that were obviously a mimicry of the harmonics test plugs back in NERV.

_Or perhaps these are the real thing, and it is NERV who copied them._

She turned to the green-haired Angel, her impassive face in no way reflecting her inner confusion and turmoil. "Where have you taken the others?"

"They are here." The Angel's soft answer infuriated her.

"That is not possible. I cannot feel them." It hurt her that her own people would attempt such a shallow deception.

"Their bodies are here," the woman admitted as one of the test-plugs hissed open, its hatchway sliding upwards to reveal a familiar interior.

"What have you done to them?" Rei whispered, not trusting her voice enough to speak aloud.

For the first time she saw a ghost of an expression pass over the Angel's placid face. "Please, this operation is very delicate. There was no alternative, and if you do not bring them back, all is lost."

It was obvious she would get no more answers, so she stepped into the plug, settling herself in the seat as the hatchway slid shut. Darkness enveloped her, and she closed her eyes, placing herself in the hands of her enigmatic captors.

* * *

The other two were silent as they absorbed the memory from Rei.

"_I found myself back in the forest, and when I discovered that the barrier was gone, I flew to where the two of you were."_

"_I see," _Asuka's voice was reserved as she tried to piece together what had happened. In the end she gave up, deciding that there was no use.

_The Angels' technology is so advanced, there's just no way to verify anything..._

"What the..." Shinji spoke for them all as the three of them felt the nearby presences at the same time. "Don't tell me..." On a rocky promontory barely visible through the trees stood two figures. The three of them began to descend, and the two figures came into view. One stood, his hands on his hips as he watched them descend, and the other held his hand as she pointed, her laughter faintly audible.

* * *

The surreal quietness of the forest around them only served to accentuate the strangeness of the meeting.

"What are you two doing here?" Shinji finally asked.

"You mean you don't know that the Evas are ready?" Touji crossed his arms, thoroughly enjoying himself. "Hah! For once I'm not behind the times..."

The boy's self-satisfied smile was apparently too much for Hikari, who was simply happy to see her friends. She turned and grabbed his ear, twisting until he stood up on tip-toes, his expression pitiful. "Is that any way to greet the people we were sent to rescue?!" she demanded sternly.

"...ow-ow-ow-sorry-sorry! ...huh?" twisting around in an attempt to relieve the pressure on his ear, he came face to face with a rather stern-looking man who wore the familiar white robes of an Angel.

"We don't have time for this..." the man looked for all the world like a drill sergeant in a white robe. He was built like a tank, and his graying hair was buzz-cut.

"...oh, sorry about that, Zeruel, we kind of..." Touji's apology was cut short by the sound of Asuka's jaw hitting the ground.

"Z-Z-Zeruel??" her face was white as she pointed at the startled Angel, before she got control of herself.

Shinji's eyebrow quivered, but he managed not to laugh, knowing Asuka would kill him for it later. Three other Angels appeared, Arael (behind Asuka), the neon-green-haired Armisael (behind Rei), and Kaworu.

"The time of return is upon us," Arael said, placing her hand on Asuka's shoulder.

The girl jumped slightly at the contact. "Oh, so you're real, now. How convenient." Though her voice was cutting, her eyes were calm.

"I am glad that you completed your journey in time."

"Thanks, for that." Asuka's tone held a note of warmth as she looked back at the being who had in another life-time once pillaged her mind. "You know, as the Commander of this mission, I know precious little about the details..." She cut off her complaint when everyone but herself and Arael disappeared.

"I'll brief you, then, Commander."

Despite that Asuka was the only one to hear the words, they still brought her a measure of satisfaction.

* * *

The stars were streaks when viewed through the transparent walls of the spherical Angelic vehicle of Leliel, but the silence of space outside the strange ship was sharply contrasted by the incessant chatter within.

"WHAT??!" Round teardrops bounced beneath Touji's eyes at Shinji's description of his trek to the strange paradise. "I knew it was too good to be true... So I missed all the excitement after all??"

"...e-heh, I wouldn't quite put it that way," Shinji said, trying to reassure his friend.

"Oh gimme a break, man," he griped as he ticked off incidents on his fingers. "I was the next-to-last one to become a pilot, I was behind in improvement, I was hardly any help at all in your fight against that Angel..."

"Hey, don't complain big brother, it sounds like you've been part of a lot of interesting stuff," Keiko tugged on his sleeve, silencing him. "I had to go to school while you were out having fun."

"What!? 'Fun'?? ...eh..." He finally gave up with a sigh, knowing he would get no sympathy, atleast not from any of his fellow time-travelers. Bending down he put his hand on Keiko's shoulder and smiled. "School, huh? So the Angels have schools? Tell me all about it, sis."

She brightened at his change in mood. "Oh, it was actually pretty fun, we..."

Shinji turned to Ritsuko and Kensuke, now that Touji had been successfully sidetracked by his sister. "What exactly happened while we were away?"

"Why're you asking us?" Ritsuko looked at him quizzically. "Do you know just how busy those slave-drivers had us? It was nothing but 'read this, read that, memorize this.' They barely talked to us at all except to answer whatever technical questions we had." She crossed her arms and glared at Kensuke. "Atleast they did until _genius_ here tried to trick them into revealing things by specially wording his 'technical questions.'"

Kensuke wilted pathetically, and Touji stood, re-joining the conversation. "Oh, and was it just me or did the rest of you get a kind of 'Rei' vibe from all the Angels?"

"...um, ahh..." Shinji's answer died on his tongue as the blue-haired girl walked up behind Touji, curiosity (and perhaps a hint of playfulness) written on her features (atleast to those that knew her well). Shinji braced himself as Touji dug his grave deeper.

"So whaddya think, bigshot, should I ask her if she gets that from her species, or if it's just..."

"...gets what from my species?" Rei asked in her usual dead-pan voice, laying a hand on Touji's shoulder. To say that he jumped out of his skin would be putting it mildly.

"AAAH! Don't kill me!" he gibbered, coming apart underneath her calm, laughing eyes.

_Damn,_ thought Shinji, trying to hide a smile. _And he was finally starting to open up after we broke him earlier. I'm afraid she snapped his mind this time..._

"Relax, Touji, I'm pretty sure that won't happen..." he said, and Rei finally relented and smiled slightly, which apparently calmed the boy down. "Hey, where's Asuka?" Shinji asked offhandedly, having already looked around and not seen her in any of the small conversation-groups.

"Oh, umm, I dunno..." Touji mumbled, and Rei was half-amused half-chagrined at the nature of the question, and its apparent uselessness.

_Human nature,_ she reminded herself. _It's just idle talk, I'm reasonably sure he doesn't expect any of us to know. Maybe it's a rhetorical..._

In a move undoubtedly planned by fate, Asuka chose that moment to shimmer into existence behind Shinji and off to one side. One of Rei's eyebrows twitched, and Touji's eyes bugged out, but Shinji did not notice. Sensing a golden opportunity, Rei drew her sky-blue eyebrows together and fixed Shinji with a piercing red gaze.

"Pilot Ikari, I thought I had trained you out of such useless questions." Shinji's eyes popped at what appeared to be a reversion in Rei's personality to when she had often expressed displeasure or curiosity at his human foibles. "How would any of us know where Asuka is? We have been with you this entire time."

"...s-sorry, Rei, I guess you're right. It's just that Asuka, umm..." he trailed off, wondering what to say.

"'Asuka' is right here, nit-wit," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Waah! ...oh, h-hey there...!" it was Shinji's turn to jump in startlement and slight fear of Asuka's notoriously short temper. Then he took a closer look at Rei's face and tentatively began to calm down.

Asuka merely shook her head at the spectacle. "Rei, you'll have to tell me sometime how you manage to inspire such fear and devotion from these two..." Despite the tense atmosphere aboard the vessel, her voice held a hint of humor.

"Harsh training," was Rei's answer as she walked the few paces over to where Shinji stood.

"I thought I had that part down," Asuka answered jokingly, remembering how she had always berated Shinji before the time-loops had begun.

"...and appropriate rewards," Rei continued, putting a hand behind Shinji's neck and kissing his forehead lightly. The boy's eyes became upside-down U's as he smiled, much relieved that he had only fallen prey to her deadly sense of humor, as opposed to several unpleasant alternatives.

_I'm a dead man if I marry these two..._

And yet it was what he wanted more than anything else. The thought surprised him, especially with the circumstances.

_I'm about to embark on a mission I know nothing about, against an enemy I know nothing about, and all I can think about is..._

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as Rei had taught him.

"Hey, why so gloomy?"

He opened his eyes at Asuka's voice, his heart catching in his throat when he saw the faint trace of a smile cross her lips.

"I..."

_...don't want to lose you._

_I wish I didn't get tongue-tied so often when I talk to you..._

_This must be why the military frowns on relationships among the troops._

As if in tune with his inner struggles, she relented. "...tell me later," she said softly, clapping him on the shoulder as she walked to the center of the sphere. The low buzz of conversations died out, and everyone turned their attention to her.

"We're about to undertake a mission against twelve Angels, and there won't be time to drop off non-combatants." She looked around, not really expecting anyone to have any questions. Shell-shocked would not quite be the way to describe this group, but it would come close. They had just been through a whirlwind tour of an alien planet, guests of the very beings they had been fighting for so long.

_Still so many unknowns,_ Asuka thought as she gazed around at the people who would be putting their lives in her and her fellow pilots' hands. _For all I know we were just abducted and used as lab rats. I have a hard time believing we're of any use to beings with such power. What did they need us for?_

_'What is man, that you're mindful of him?'_

The religious saying rose to mind, courtesy of her college education. She herself certainly wasn't a religious person, but she knew that she would have to question quite a few things in the days to come.

_If we survive..._

She realized everyone was getting restless at her silence, and took a deep breath, clearing her mind of its pensiveness.

_Trust has got to start somewhere._

If nothing else, she had atleast learned that much. She glanced towards Shinji, drawing strength from his confident smile. Gone was the timid cowering boy she had first met.

_Well, maybe not completely gone..._

It brought her a measure of happiness that she could still put him off balance enough to make him tongue-tied at times. He did the same to her, though she was loathe to admit it, or show it, atleast not often. Her gaze slid over to Rei, and she had to force down the tumult of emotions that would only get in the way of the mission ahead of her. She took another calming breath.

"There's not enough time for me to explain everything," she said slowly. "But I doubt I've been given the full story in any case." She paused for a few moments, gathering her final thoughts. "We'll keep you as safe as we can, and... it's been an honor serving with you." She swallowed past the lump in her throat as white light began to wash out everything. "It's been an honor getting to know you... all of you." She had no idea if anyone even heard the last part.

* * *

When her vision cleared, she found herself in the familiar confines of a dimly lit entry plug, the chamber already filled with LCL. The details were close enough to her old Unit-02 that she experienced a startling sense of deja-vu.

_I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to pilot again..._

She caressed the pistol-grip controls to either side of her seat, taking a moment to look around. The entry plug was practically the only thing that resembled her old Eva, she knew that. This much had been kept for familiarity's sake, to help put the pilots' minds at ease. With only a slight amount of imagination, she could be back in NERV, about to undergo some test or another, as opposed to where she really was. A slight twinge from her A10 clips informed her that it was time, and she closed her eyes, clearing her mind of all conscious thought and emotion.

Instead of the usual test patterns and colors, she experienced a slight vertigo for a few moments, and then felt Arael's feather-light mental touch. She knew that despite the urgency of the situation, the Angel was willing to giver her whatever time she needed, and with this realization came strong emotion that momentarily disrupted her concentration.

"_Calm,"_ Arael sent to her.

Asuka took a moment to center herself, grateful beyond words that the Angel was so understanding. The mental touch strengthened as the two of them synchronized, but despite her initial fears, it felt nothing like her previous forceful contact so long ago. Tentatively she felt herself begin to relax into the Angel's embrace, and she almost wept at the gentleness of it.

"_So you weren't exaggerating at all in the briefing, you really are the soul of Unit-02 now..."_

"_Yes. This is my penance for what I did to you back then."_

"_I... still don't quite understand."_ She and Shinji had discussed several times his theories and questions about why the Angels, who were so powerful in their own reality, seemed so limited in earth's.

"_It's not that we lack power, we simply have very little control on this plane of existence. We have learned with every individual we sent over to this side, but the toll has been terrible. I wish it were not so, but what humanity has done with our initial probes cannot be allowed. As a species you are just not ready. Even now the damage may be too great, but we must retrieve as much as we can to limit further contamination."_

Asuka didn't quite know what to say. It was more than the Angel had ever told her at one time.

"_We... can delay no longer."_ She found it hard to believe, but she actually seemed to detect a note of embarrassment, or even shame in the Angel's mental tone.

"_I'm ready,"_ Asuka answered. What happened next made her eat her words.

* * *

Mankind had done a superb job putting together an interface that would meld a human together with the clone of something they didn't fully understand, but compared to what Asuka now rode in, that machine was a hack job. It had required a neural supercomputer and the sacrifice of a soul to achieve a stable synchronization, and the resulting biomechanoid had to be severely restrained just to keep it from going berserk. The pilot was shielded from most of this while synchronizing, but there was a subtle undercurrent of risk with every mission. If the pilot went all-out, or even experienced strong emotion, the machine could go out of control, or the pilot could even be absorbed in an unstable runaway reaction. Even if the pilot were not told this, he or she knew it on a subconscious level, and it held him or her back.

As her Unit came to life around her, Asuka knew complete and joyous freedom. The Evangelion and its soul were joined perfectly, and had no need for restraints. There were no hardware or software limiters, and as her vision cleared, she found herself in earth orbit where Leliel had deposited her.

_Home._

The hazy blue sphere wrapped in a thin layer of clouds turned serenely below her, and the view was so entrancing she almost forgot about the deadly dance that was about to begin. Three blips appeared, representing Units-00, -01, and -03, clustered together in a rough diamond pattern to both sides and in front of her. She barely even had to think, the machine did almost everything for her, and Arael translated her intentions into the appropriate actions.

"_Asuka, are you there?"_

It was strange hearing Ritsuko's voice in her head as opposed to the external speakers. She reluctantly turned her gaze inward, and her outer vision dimmed slightly as she became more 'aware' of her Eva's internal structure. The creature was still vaguely humanoid simply because that form was most compatible with the human brain's base architecture, though she knew the shape could be changed if it was absolutely necessary. Her entry plug was still nestled at the base of the neck, extending into the heavily armored upper chest, but she felt a second plug parallel and below hers, and within moments knew that it contained Ritsuko and Kensuke.

"_Yes,"_ she sent back.

"_Oh thank God, it worked,"_ she heard Ritsuko mumble to herself.

"_Of course it worked," _Kensuke's excited voice cut int. _"Didn't you feel it when the interface activated?"_

"_Yes, but just because the Angel was able to synch with her didn't mean... oh never mind,"_ she said with an amused sigh as Kensuke continued on a mile a minute as if she had not spoken.

"_This is completely awesome! It almost makes up for not being able to pilot. Don't worry, Asuka, you're in good hands, you won't even know we're here, you..."_

"_I get it, Kensuke." _Her voice was soft, and even held a trace of amusement, but it brought him up short.

"_Sorry, got a little carried away there," _he said in a more contrite tone. The two of them were not directly tied into any of the control circuits, but their limited connection did allow for a full sensory immersion that gave them access to all information gathered by Unit-02 and the other Units when they activated. The new Unit-02 was truly a Command vehicle by necessity, and from their position in it, Ritsuko and Kensuke would be able to monitor the vitals of the pilots and the Evas as they would have from the installations in NERV.

* * *

Shinji sat in the dimly lit entry plug, his hands unconsciously clinching the pistol-grip controls as he tried to calm himself. The LCL provided a subtle disruption to the breathing exercises he was used to, and he closed his eyes in frustration.

_Any information at all would have been nice._

He immediately felt bad for the thought, knowing the pressure Asuka had to be going through. He consciously relaxed his hands, making one last attempt at clearing his mind as he felt a twinge through his A10 clips. He was slightly stunned when he felt Kaworu's ethereal presence touch his mind.

"_Tell me this is just a personality copy,"_ he said dully as he felt Unit-01 come to life around him.

"_No. It is as I told you before, this is our punishment,"_ the Angel replied.

"_It's not fair to you though, you didn't know what you were doing!"_ Shinji insisted. _"You told me yourself that while you were here in earth's reality, you had no memories from your other life. It wasn't you!"_

"_That is... beside the point."_ The Angel's mental voice carried shame. _"Lives were lost, both of your race, and mine. I don't expect you to understand fully, this is our law. Please, accept it. I don't dispute the justice of it, and it pains me to discuss this..."_

Shinji didn't know what else to say, and so he fell silent as his vision cleared and he found himself in earth's orbit. He felt Asuka's presence nearby and his vision grayed slightly as he turned his gaze inward, picking up on the mental conversation that was taking place.

"_So... how is it?"_ he heard Ritsuko ask hesitantly. He assumed she was talking to Asuka, since he had just 'arrived'.

Several moments passed before the girl answered._"If my old Unit-02 had been like this, you'd never have gotten me out of it. Oh..."_ she gasped in surprise as she sensed Unit-01's activation, and felt Shinji's mental signature blossom into existence. It was as if he had walked up and brushed against her arm, and she now knew where he was without having to look.

"_Unit-01 has synchronized and activated." _Ritsuko's mental voice carried a subtle undercurrent of tension. "_Shinji, are you there?"_

"_...y-yes ma'am,"_ he answered hesitantly.

Asuka gave a soft sigh. _"Don't you revert on me, Third. Are you going to be okay over there?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine,"_ he answered with just a touch of annoyance at how she seemed to be doting on him.

"_Hey, don't give me that tone!" _she snapped, before continuing in a more serious manner. _"I know this is new, but stay with me, I need to know I can count on you..."_

"_Sor... I mean, sure, don't worry about me, I'll be okay."_ He barely kept himself from apologizing, which he knew she hated. Before the two of them could continue the stress-relieving argument they were both subconsciously indulging in, space seemed to shimmer briefly, and Ritsuko gave a surprised yelp. Shinji felt the sensation of the Eva fade slightly and found himself hovering over earth with Asuka beside him, the both of them facing a surprised-looking Ritsuko and a gleeful Kensuke. He felt a presence behind and to the side of him which he knew to be Kaworu, and looking over he saw that Arael was likewise behind Asuka, her hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Wh-what the..." Ritsuko looked at herself, and then looked around.

"Excellent!" Kensuke was obviously on cloud nine. "Now that Shinji is synchronized, I got the battle-net operational..." The boy seemed to be manipulating something in front of him, as if operating a console visible only to him.

"...guh, _give_ me that!" Ritsuko snapped, reaching over and pulling something from Kensuke's hands. "The most important operation I'll ever oversee is about to begin, and my only bridge-bunny is an otaku...!" she murmured in exasperation, her fingers moving rapidly in mid-air.

Kensuke tried to look innocent as Asuka spluttered. "...b-bridge bunny? Is that what you call them...?" her voice quavered with suppressed laughter.

"Damn, Maya's going to kill me," Ritsuko muttered as Asuka burst out laughing.

"Are you serious?" Shinji asked feeling embarrassed for Kensuke as he tried not to smile.

"We stopped using that term long before you arrived, Shinji," Ritsuko muttered, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"BAHAAHAHA!" Asuka collapsed against Arael, who looked slightly confused as she tried to hold the girl up. At that moment Touji appeared on the other side of Asuka, the three pilots forming a semicircle in front of Ritsuko and Kensuke. He took one look around and began complaining.

"I missed something again, didn't I?" he crossed his arms. "What did I tell you, Zeruel, I'm always missing something!"

The stocky buzz-cut Angel appeared behind him, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Pull it together, son! Just be glad you're part of something this important." The Angel's voice sounded more like a drill-sergeant than ever, and Shinji tried desperately not to crack up.

"Don't worry," he said, "it's just Kensuke being his usual self."

Ritsuko was actually a bit relieved that the boy had managed to break what tension had been developing. The pilots' vitals seemed to be returning to normal, especially Asuka's. The girl would be all-important in the coming battle, and she most needed the good laugh she had just gotten.

_The only one left is Rei._

Ritsuko bit her lip as she watched the half-Angel's synchronization begin, desperately trying to keep up with all the readouts being fed to her from Units-02 and -00. She cursed softly as her initial fears began to play out before her, and the girl rejected her Unit. The woman desperately manipulated the controls, doing what she could to affect a kind of command override, knowing that there was no way to physically help Rei, each Unit being separated from the others by hard vacuum. Kensuke finally noticed what was going on, and was about to ask when the happy atmosphere of the battle-net was shattered by Rei's horrified scream.

Everyone turned to see the girl sitting on the 'floor' as if she had fallen, or been pushed, one hand raised to ward off her would-be assailant. Armisael stood in front of the fallen pilot, her expression unreadable as Rei desperately scrabbled away, eventually getting to her feet and almost running into Shinji. He put his arms around her as she clung to him, and he momentarily feared for his life, such was the rage that clouded her porcelain features. She could not have hurt him, but he had never seen such emotion from her.

"...pilot Ikari." All traces of anger had left her face, but the stiffness of her voice and the slight tremble he felt as she released his arm betrayed how deeply disturbed she was. "I can't." Her normally vibrant red eyes had gone almost completely dead. "I won't."

Such a display of emotion from the normally unflappable girl shocked Asuka beyond measure. "Rei, we need you," she implored.

"But..." A tumult of emotions crossed the albino's face before she was able to regain control. "You don't understand," she replied in her usual quiet voice. "None of you will ever understand."

"That may be true," the Asuka replied softly, "but does that mean we should stop trying to reach out?" The pain in the girl's deep red eyes brought back memories of her own piloting ordeals, and how Rei had tried to help her. "If you don't open your heart, the Eva won't move."

Rei's eyes widened slightly as she recognized her own words. "How can you ask me to open my heart to... her?"

_I can't,_ Asuka realized. _Precisely _because_ I know what she's going through. _"Doctor, is there any way I can do Rei's part?" She already knew the answer, but had to ask anyway.

"No. If Unit-02 leaves orbit, we lose almost all of our global scanning and tracking capability."

At that moment she heard a soft chime, and a small diagram of earth appeared at the edge of her vision. Three dots of light were pulsating rhythmically, one in the United States, one in Northern Russia, and one in China.

"Schiesse." The girl bit her lip. _So this is command._ "We're out of time," she murmured. "The plan is to take the targets down three at a time, and the first three are beginning to awaken."

"How do we know so much about the attack?" asked Touji.

"They're Angels, son," Zeruel grated out from behind him. "They're on our side!"

"Yeah, but if they're on our side, how come we're fighting them?"

"Twelve Angels, twelve members of Seele," Asuka said, forestalling any more arguing between Touji and Zeruel. _Those two deserve each other._ "It's our job to stop the Angels after they complete their mission. We're out of time. I'm sorry..."

Shinji looked helplessly at Rei, who had taken on a glazed expression, and was looking down at earth as it slowly spun beneath them.

"_Shinji." _He was startled to hear Ritsuko's mental voice, and he looked up to find that except for the doctor, the surroundings had darkened slightly. _"I was afraid this would happen, either with Asuka or with Rei. The two of them have been through extremely traumatizing experiences with the Angels they have been asked to synchronize with. Fortunately Asuka had no problems, but Rei just can't seem to... __relax enough to synchronize."_

"_Doctor, I know how she feels. If she doesn't want to do this..."_

"_Shinji, there's no time! She... has to." _Ritsuko paused, and Shinji steeled himself. _"In the original time-line, Armisael temporarily linked the two of you. Because of this, you are partially compatible with Unit-00 in its current configuration, and you can help link Rei and Armisael."_

Shinji paled at the Doctor's suggestion. _"Don't ask that. Please..."_

"_If there were any other way... You know I'd..." _Ritsuko fell silent, and finally cut the private connection. Shinji looked steadily at her, but she refused to meet his eyes. He turned back to Rei who was still staring at earth, her thoughts unknown to him, and perhaps unknowable. Despite having shared minds, and for a short while, bodies, he realized he did not truly know her. That had been a different Rei. After arriving at Avalon, the young woman had changed, become more human, and at the same time more alien.

_I can't force her like this. It's wrong..._

"Shinji." Asuka's voice pushed him. "If you can help her, do it. The Angels have no specific targets beyond Seele. If we don't take them out after they kill their target, they'll go on a rampage." She paused momentarily. "People will..."

"I know, Asuka!"

_Damn it!_

He reached out, and when the blue-haired girl flinched at his touch, it tore his heart. He pulled her to him, but she was stiff beneath his touch, her arms held tightly to her sides. He closed his eyes in sorrow.

_It's as I thought, I'm no better than my father..._

He felt Armisael approach, and he opened his eyes, reaching out his hand. When the green-haired Angel took it, Rei gasped, reflexively clutching his waist.

_This is exceedingly ironic,_ Armisael intoned.

It was obvious the Angel was just as uncomfortable with the situation as Rei, and he stopped.

"Please." Rei's voice shook, and it was so soft he could barely hear it. "Help me..."

The plea could have meant so many things, and he knew that there would be negative repercussions of some kind no matter what he did.

_There's been nothing but lies and half-truths since this all started. How the hell could they ask me to do something like this? Especially to the woman I... the woman I..._

Asuka looked at him, her expression unreadable, while Ritsuko avoided his gaze altogether, and he realized that in the end he had no choice. _What's the use of sparing Rei this immediate pain, if we lose the battle and all of us die?_

He squeezed his eyes shut and placed the Angel's hand on the girl's shoulder. _Please, don't hate me for this._

* * *

Rei found herself back in the pool of orange LCL facing herself, as she had when Armisael first invaded her Eva in the original time-line. She gasped in surprise when the being facing her morphed into Shinji's image, and a surge of negative emotions tore her heart. There was no pain as Shinji linked her with Armisael, atleast not physically, but emotionally she came perilously close to reverting to the loneliness she had experience most of her early life.

_Betrayal._

_The feeling is uncomfortable, yet necessary._

_Both for my own growth as a human, and for the upcoming battle._

The deep hurt brought instinctive tears to her eyes, for she knew that at some point in her life, she would likely betray Shinji in the same way, and he would feel the same kind of torment she was feeling now. What truly horrified her was that when the time came, she might somehow justify her actions, as Shinji had undoubtedly done this time. She stood, swallowed by grief, as the construct before her morphed into the green-haired Armisael. The Angel's accusing gaze seemed to bore through her soul. _Betrayer,_ it proclaimed. _Both you and he. Equally guilty._

"I... do not put the blame on him," Rei said softly.

"You lie."

There was a pause as Rei considered the Angel's immediate response. "Per... perhaps." She gazed at her unwilling partner. "Why do you harbor such hostility?" she asked, desperate to change the subject.

Armisael looked down. "I have been forced to exile myself into this machine. I will never be with my people again."

"Atleast you have a people." Rei's voice hardened. "Those on earth who know my secret, shun me for it. And when I finally return to Avalon, I find I am unwelcome there as well."

"It's not that you are unwelcome..."

"No one on either world trusts me. I am an outcast! Even now, I do not fully know who I am..."

"I too, have become an outcast," Armisael spoke, answering Rei's outburst. "Because of my own actions, and because of yours. The four of us who put ourselves into these Evas have become outcasts for you people. You aliens. Yes," she pressed on before the young woman could speak. "I consider you an alien to me as well."

Silence stretched for several moments.

"I hate you," Rei said slowly, as if she had just discovered it.

"And I you," Armisael replied without hesitation. "But neither of us can change who we are."

Rei smiled, her human heritage asserting itself. "That's... that's where you're wrong."

_Betrayal, and forgiveness._

_I can only trust Shinji to forgive me as well, when in the future I hurt him._

* * *

Asuka breathed a sigh of relief when she sensed Unit-00's activation and felt Rei/Armisael slip into the battle-net. Ritsuko had dissolved the meeting, and each pilot was once again alone in his (or her) Eva, waiting for Asuka's command.

"_Doctor, have you had any success getting through to NERV?"_

"_Negative,"_ was Ritsuko's terse reply. _"But in this case I think it has more to do with the fact that we've been out of contact long enough to have missed a comm encryption change. All the equipment is here and working, but without the decryption schemes, all we'll get is white noise, and anything we send will be rejected," _she explained. _"I'll get in eventually, but it's going to take some time. I helped create the system, after all."_

She smiled at the obvious pride in the woman's mental tone, but only for a moment, as she considered what it meant for the here and now. Without any contact, they would have to assume that there was no safe ground anywhere on the planet. Even NERV itself was technically in enemy hands, since a Seele member had arrived on-scene just as the group of humans had been leaving for Avalon. What this meant was that the non-combatants would have to stay where they were aboard Unit-02 in the specially prepared entry plug currently taking up her secondary weapons bay. Losing the combat capability naturally irked her, but if things went according to plan she would never even see direct action.

_Keiko, Hikari, Naoko, and Touji's mother. _Checking the vitals of her four passengers one last time, she realized with a slight sense of amusement that she still did not know the woman's name.

"_Don't worry so much."_ Naoko's mental voice cut through her musings. _"If anything comes up, I'll let you know immediately, if that Angel of yours doesn't do it first."_

While their entry plug was connected to the Eva, the four passengers had a sensory-immersion link-up as well, but it was visual-only, which in this case was the view from orbit. Naoko would monitor their life-signs and status, leaving Asuka and her other two crew-members with one less thing to worry about.

"_I leave them in your hands, then," _Asuka replied. _All of them except Kyoko._ After seeing no sign of the woman in Leliel's chamber, and now knowing for sure that she was not aboard any of the Evas, she had to assume that her journey to the strange paradisaical reality had not been a dream. Which meant that her mother was dead.

_Atleast she's whole now, and at peace._

"_Yes."_ Arael was cryptic as usual.

"_You know, it'd be nice to have a little more information than a simple 'yes,'"_ she complained, though inwardly she was happy just having the confirmation.

"_In this area we too lack complete information." _The Angel sounded hesitant, as if it hurt her to admit that there were areas in which her species lacked knowledge. _"What we helped you do was... experimental. But it was deemed necessary for your mental health, and so the risk was justified."_

Asuka sighed._ I guess that's all I'm going to get..._

"_Calculations for the orbital tracks have been completed." _Ritsuko's mental voice brought her back to reality, and she cleared her mind of all extraneous thought.

"_I'm sending you your target's position and orbital track now," _Asuka said over the battle-net.

"_Roger!"_ the three pilots replied in unison.

A red warning flashed at the edge of her vision, and she unconsciously braced herself as her AT-field unfolded. She was no longer surprised to discover that she felt just as safe in Arael's arms as she had in her mother's.

"_Go,"_ she whispered, and the three veteran pilots under her command responded instantly. She rested in Arael's embrace as the three Evas spread wings of light and began their descent into earth's atmosphere.

* * *

The cavernous Central Dogma was a tumult of alarms and status reports, and Commander Misato Katsuragi was barely able to maintain her professional facade as everything in her fractured world went to hell around her. Despair had gripped her when the three pattern-blue alerts had come in, and even now her hands were clinched painfully on the arm-rests of her command chair. To her the Angel attacks could mean only one thing.

_We sent the Children, and Ritsuko, and... Keiko... to their deaths._

_If they were lucky._

Tears of grief gathered at the edges of her eyes as she remembered the vivisected ninth Angel still languishing in the depths of Terminal Dogma. Even now the creature was alive, after a fashion. She could only hope that the Children were not suffering the same fate on some alien world.

"Talk to me, Mana." Her voice was firm despite her inner turmoil.

"I'm two minutes from Target Gamma now, Commander!" the tension in the young female voice was obvious even through the distortion of the comm system. "I'm currently feet-dry over China and inbound at..."

"Commander!" Shigeru's strained voice caused her head to snap around. "Four more AT-field contacts! Orbital tracks are still being calculated, but three of them are definitely inbound! We're unable to get a firm reading on blood-type, this is something completely new. The MAGI are withholding any guesses until we get more information..."

_This is a full-scale invasion,_ Misato thought glumly. _Even if the Committee releases the Mass Production Units, we're still on the verge of being outnumbered._

Hyuga replaced the phone back in its receptacle and turned to face Misato. "Mister Kaji has discovered Fuyutski's location," he said quietly, handing her a piece of paper with coordinates written on it. "Also, Unit-06 has reached Terminal Dogma." Sub-Commander Hyuga was content. As hectic as the past weeks had been, he felt privileged to have worked directly with the woman he had long admired.

Misato glanced at the paper, idly noting the coordinates. "Well, it doesn't look like there's anything we can do with this information now," she murmured. With the invasion, a rescue operation seemed almost pointless. "Inform Asari he is to hold position until further notice." She had not been happy to receive the Committee orders to keep Unit-06 in reserve, but with the new contacts in orbit, the order was easier to obey.

_Could this be one of the missing Angels Shinji warned us about in his final briefing?_

She was suddenly glad to have an Eva in reach of the only other weapon available to her that could make it into orbit.

* * *

As the massive flying-wing F-Type equipment carried her Unit closer to the site labeled by NERV as Target Gamma, the Fifth Child tried to quell the tension that threatened to overwhelm her. Much like Asuka Langley Soryu and Rei Ayanami, Mana Kirishima had been trained from a young age to pilot the Evangelion, but this was her first actual combat mission.

_C'mon, Relax, Mana, relax,_ for the umpteenth time she unclenched her hands from the pistol-grip controls to either side of her. _Shinji's first mission he had practically no training, and he killed the Angel without a problem. Asuka's first mission..._

Mana's cheeks flamed as she remembered the briefing and battle footage from that mission. The two pilots had for some reason been in the entry plug together when they killed the aquatic sixth Angel, and she had been flabbergasted at the audio. The two of them had been arguing non-stop the entire time as if they were lovers or something, and all this in the midst of the battle!

_Damn it, get a grip!_ She clutched her head trying to drive away the images and retrieve some semblance of discipline before being dumped into her first battle. It did not help in the slightest that she had somehow allowed herself to develop a long-distance crush on the aforementioned third Child, but she had simply not been able to help it. From all the battle-footage she had watched, the boy had a quiet charm about him, and his meteoric rise as a pilot had astounded her.

"...aah!" she jumped when the soft alarm sounded, indicating that the F-Type transport was about to release her Eva.

"Good luck, Mana." Misato's firm professional voice came through the plug speakers.

"...y-yes ma'am."

The restraining bolts disengaged with a thump, and she took a deep calming breath, managing to temporarily banish her flustered thoughts as she went into free-fall. Her thoughts turned somber as the ground rushed up to meet her.

_It just doesn't seem possible. After blowing through nine Angels, suddenly all four pilots are killed?_

After being transferred to NERV along with Keita Asari, Unit-06's designated pilot, she had been told surprisingly little, and it was somewhat disquieting since she had seen briefings for all missions except the final one. Somehow, in one battle, all the pilots had apparently been lost, and she was forced to say 'apparently' because she knew so little. She had been given a stern lecture after confronting Misato about how unusual it all seemed, but surely if the pilots had survived, they would have been sent out already, especially against the odds NERV was facing now.

Mana unconsciously flexed her legs as her Eva impacted the ground, absorbing the tremendous shock of landing, and her eyes flitted to the map overlay which showed her the direction and position of the Pattern-Blue contact. She smiled as she oriented herself. This much atleast was the same as the simulations, and she had performed hundreds of such exercises.

She had landed amidst the rolling hills on the outskirts of a small city, and her smile froze when she saw that the target was moving steadily towards one of the built-up areas near the edge of the city. This was not Tokyo-3, and there were no alarms or retractable buildings. In all likelihood, there were probably too few shelters even if word could be spread. Scanning frantically as she moved, she visually spotted her target, and she pushed her Eva into a run. 'Gamma' was a tall, thin, vaguely humanoid creature that was almost uniformly smooth all over its off-white body. The range was still too great, but she raised her pallet rifle and snapped off a quick burst anyway, hoping to draw its attention away from the civilian area into which it was heading. She lost sight of it as it disappeared into a small stand of trees, and she could see large chunks of dirt spray into the air as the rounds impacted where the Angel had been standing moments earlier.

_Damn it! He didn't even notice!_

She spurred her Eva on faster as her comm systems crackled. "Mana, I'm reading a high-speed target inbound on your general location!"

"What?! Where?" She did a quick scan of the sky-line, but could not see anything visually or on sensors.

"It's one of the orbital contacts," Misato's voice was obviously under stress. "We still have yet to get a solid lock on one of them, so I can't give you a firm direction, I'm sorry!"

_This is not good! _she thought as she entered the forest. _I've got to take this first guy down quickly or it's going to get ugly._ The only multiple-Angel battle she had ever witnessed (through briefing and footage) had not gone well for the Evas, and during that battle they had the advantage of being able to use the Tokyo-3's defenses. She was all alone out here, except for whatever help the JSSDF could provide, which as of yet had been nil, and she had little hopes of being able to work together with whatever local Chinese forces might eventually arrive.

_By the time anyone else gets here, it'll be too late..._

"What the...!" a massive bloom of purple energy erupted out of the forest ahead of her, and she brought up her arms instinctively as tree-trunks whizzed by her on both sides. When her visual systems cleared, she looked on in amazement at the giant purple cross of light that punctuated the center of the forest like an exclamation point.

_What the hell is that thing doing?!_

"...-ana! Mana are you okay...? ...-ease respond..." The audio was full of distortion from the massive pulse of radiation that had just blanketed the area.

"Commander! You're breaking up! I'm engaging the Angel..." catching sight of the white figure of the Angel standing near the edge of the burnt-out area in the center of the forest, she raised her pallet rifle. Her finger was tightening on the pistol-grip trigger when she caught a hint of movement to her right, and she had just enough time to turn her head before the incoming bogey impacted her.

* * *

Mana's scream was the last thing Misato heard, and she ripped off her head-set, covering her eyes with her other hand as grief tore through her.

_I lost another one._

Hyuga turned to face her. "Misato, the JSSDF reports they have assets over the battle-site now."

She lifted her tear-stained face, and the haunted look in her eyes cause him to recoil slightly. "So, her backup finally arrived."

"Um..." Hyuga was at a loss. He wanted nothing but to be able to comfort her, but he simply didn't know how.

"How many more are we going to lose?" she whispered the words as another tear rolled down her face. Hyuga never got a chance to answer.

"This is Echo-Leader," the man's professional voice carried an edge of excitement that carried even over the distortion of the comm systems. "I'm over the battle-site, and you're not going to believe this."

The visual feed came up on the massive holo-display in front of the bridges, and Misato gasped. The image was slightly grainy, but it was obvious that what had impacted Unit-05 was another Eva.

"That's... not a Mass Production Unit, is it?" Hyuga asked uncertainly.

"I don't think so," Misato answered, stunned beyond belief. "It doesn't seem to match Shinji's description... but isn't that supposed to be one of the orbital contacts?" She was so relieved she had yet to wipe the wetness from her face.

* * *

Mana shook her head, blinking away stars as she tried to assess her condition. Her Eva was lying on its back, and whatever had impacted her was laying cross-wise on top of her, pinning her down. Turning her head as she tried to wriggle out from underneath her attacker, she gasped in surprise. It was an Eva. A purple Eva.

"...C-C-Commander, it's Unit-01...!" she stammered.

"What?! Are you sure?" the surprised voice over the comm demanded.

"...guh..." she pushed up against the massive weight, but she couldn't budge him. "...I-I think so. The armor isn't quite right, and it's a lot bigger, but it's purple!" _Is that Shinji? _She blushed slightly. Though she had never personally seen the Eva, she knew its specs by heart. She flinched as another massive purple cross bloomed somewhere down past her feet. "What the hell's this guy's problem??"

There was a long pause over the comm, "Mana," Misato's voice carried a note of worry. "...that might not be Shinji in there." She spoke slowly and carefully. "...and even if it is, he might... not be himself."

"Huh...?"

"Can you disable that Eva?"

"Uh, I'll... try," she responded.

_But how? My pallet rifle is... over there._ She looked to the right to find the gigantic weapon leaned haphazardly against a tree where it had fallen when she dropped it in the scuffle. _Which leaves..._ She drew her eyebrows together and gave the mental command as she looked to the left and began to reach her partially-free left arm up. She saw the purple Eva on top of her move its head slightly as her shoulder armor opened to reveal her prog-knife, but before she could draw it herself, Unit-01 had reached up, pulled it from her shoulder, and tossed it into the tree-line.

"...hey!" Mana looked up in consternation as the purple Eva trapped her arm, and then lifted its other arm, extending a finger and wagging it side to side in a 'no, no' motion. Using her other free arm, she managed to lever Unit-01 off of her for a moment, but the other Eva maneuvered itself deftly, sitting on her chest and trapping her own Eva's arms above her head. "What the hell's your problem, guy?!" her face turned beet red at the position she was in. "Commander, can't we communicate with them?"

"We're... we're trying, Mana, but it's going to take a little time!"

She strained against her opponent's hold, but the other Eva's strength was greater, and it was obvious the pilot was an experienced grappler. She herself had trained in martial arts from a young age, but ground-fighting was not something she had studied in any depth, and it was obvious that her opponent had.

_What's he doing? Why is he holding me back...?_

She gasped suddenly as the weight vanished, Unit-01 having released her. Bracing herself as she got up, she watched, stunned, as Unit-01 drew a rifle that resembled a cut-down version of NERV's own Composite Rifle and fired two bursts at the thin white Angel which had apparently finished whatever it was doing, and was wandering in the general direction of the two Evas. The Angel took the first shot dead on, but obviously tried to dodge the second one, and she saw it stumble, now sporting a nasty gouge where its shoulder had been. Unit-01 was in full sprint now, taking advantage of the opening its shots had created, and its foot hit the Angel's chest just as it tried to fire its own beam weapon at the Eva. The purple burst of light disappeared into the sky, and the Angel was slammed to the ground, its AT-field shimmering. She turned away, jogging to the edge of the forest to retrieve her rifle and prog-knife while she had the chance.

Mana was just reaching down to pick up the rifle when a massive bloom of energy washed over her, the blast wave sending a shudder through her Eva and tearing apart the trees in front of her. She turned around to see a massive roil of smoke and debris where the two combatants had been moments ago.

_Did they take each other out?_

She was just about to take a step forward when she saw the figure of Unit-01 exit the smoke cloud coming straight for her. She raised her rifle automatically, and was stunned beyond belief when the Eva gave her a casual salute of respect as it spread wings of light and rose into the sky, passing over her head as it climbed.

"Did... did you get that, Commander...?!" she stammered out as the purple Eva retreated into the sky, growing smaller.

"I've seen that before," Misato's voice held obvious relief. "That's Shinji, alright..."

The girl scanned the sky, looking for her F-Type equipment. "Where's he going? Maybe I can..." she spotted the massive VTOL flying wing hovering near the tree-line and jogged in its direction. A flash lit up the sky behind her, illuminating the area briefly even with the afternoon sun overhead.

"I don't think you can follow him, Mana, he's just gone sub-orbital," Misato's shocked voice crackled over her comm.

"What...?!" she turned, but all she could make out was a fading ball of light and a streak of red that was probably the Eva's AT-field dissipating the energy of the Unit-01's high-speed flight through the atmosphere. "...Commander, I know I'm sitting in the best earth can give me, but whatever that guy's got, I want it...!"

* * *

Misato ignored the hubbub around her in Central Dogma, and this time she gripped the armrests of her command chair for a different reason. For the first time in weeks she saw a glimmer of hope, and her mind worked furiously as she tried to make sense of the puzzle before her.

_That was Shinji, I'm sure of it. So the Angels are on our side after all?_

_Or did he somehow escape the Angels, and manage to slip in alongside the invasion..._

She knew she was missing so many of the pieces, yet her actions were likely to be pivotal.

"I'm registering a massive air-burst over Siberia," Aoba reported. "The Angel signature in that area just disappeared!"

"Could it be another of the missing Evas?" Misato wondered aloud.

"Three contacts, three Evas," Hyuga said glancing back at her. "Do you think those three could be Units-00, -01, and -03?"

"But what about the contact that's still in orbit?" she murmured. The bespectacled 'Sub-Commander' raised a hand to his chin in thought.

"Pattern-Blue!" a technician called from below. "Multiple Angels detected in South America, Eastern Europe, and Canada!"

_What's going on here? _Misato's mind whirled as she tried to make sense of what was happening. _Wait just a minute..._ Mana's question resurfaced in her mind.

"Maya, just where _is_ shinji going?" she asked.

"Already on it..." Maya studied her console for a few seconds then began typing rapidly. "The MAGI have just confirmed it," she said excitedly. "The bogey we've tentatively identified as Unit-01 is on course for the Angel in Canada. And there's a fast moving AT-field contact on a sub-orbital track from the Siberian area heading towards the Angel in Eastern Europe."

_It's them. It's got to be... _"Alright!" Misato's fist came down on her armrest, and a hard smile lit up her worn features. "The Children are back!"

The room erupted into cheers, and the gloomy atmosphere was banished for a moment.

* * *

Asuka breathed a sigh of relief as she watched Rei's successful sub-orbital insertion, and she glanced back over at Shinji's slowly-moving icon.

"_What's this, you don't fully trust the system?"_ Arael's mental voice held a trace of humor.

"_Ah, umm..."_ it was practically impossible to lie to the woman while synchronized with her.

"_I know it's not pretty, but it was the only solution in the time available."_

"_...eh." _Asuka turned her attention back to the operation playing out before her. _"Rei, I'm picking up two unidentified contacts at your landing site, so be prepared."_

"_I understand, Commander."_

Units-01 and -00 were moving to their next target, which left Touji.

"_Arael, might as well load a Strategic into my primary weapons bay just in case."_

"_Yes."_

* * *

Deep inside a hidden bunker in the middle of Nevada, a SEELE member was huddled in the middle of the floor as horrible little furry things with teeth made their way into his room through every opening available to them (which in this case meant the ventilation ducts and the partially open doorway leading out into the hall and to freedom). Up on the surface, safely ensconced in his highly advanced killing machine, Touji did not hear the scream of terror, or how it was cut off abruptly in a series of messy-sounding squelches.

The lonely blank desert seemed to stretch endlessly in any direction Touji cared to look, and he once again found himself tapping his plug-shoe against the foot-rest in agitation.

_I'm bored. _This thought was not healthy, especially if fate decided to get involved, but Touji being Touji, he did not care. _Why is it always me who gets stuck with the dull assignments?_

"_That's it, Touji, the Angel has switched over to 'seeker' mode, it must have killed the target."_ Asuka's mental voice came through the battle-net._ "Take it down."_

"_Roger. If I knew what it looked like..."_ Touji muttered.

"_You haven't yet visually identified it?"_ she asked.

"_No. The target registers as being right here, but I don't see it."_ He looked around at the scattered cacti and broken piles of rocks. _"It must be underground, or something. Oh, wait..."_

A 'rock' several dozen feet from where he stood crumbled, and fate reared her ugly head in the form of a small object with a bunch of teeth. The creature came out of the hidden ventilation duct the fake rock had been covering. It paused a moment, but before it could make any kind of command decision, Touji stamped his Eva's foot down on it. The resulting explosion rocked the large machine and caused his AT-field to shimmer slightly, but he was otherwise unharmed.

"_Never mind, I killed it."_

"_Good. Well hurry up, you're behind schedule. I'm sending you your next orbital track..."_

"_Right." _Touji sighed, turning away when a small movement caught his eye. _"Huh? There's more of 'em...?"_

* * *

Asuka had just begun a more detailed scan of Shinji's next target when she felt Touji's renewed panic.

"_Man, what is this, some kind of bad B-movie?!"_ his mental yelp startled her, and she sensed his weapons-fire as she turned her attention back to his area of the world.

"_What's happening down there?" _she asked with a hint of exasperation.

"_I'm being attacked by a bunch of horrible little flying furries is what's happening!" _His annoyed voice was punctuated by more weapons-fire.

She sighed as accessed his visual, only to find that surprisingly he was not exaggerating this time. The boy had his AT-field functioning almost fully in anti-gravity mode, and rising after him was a large group of creatures that did indeed appear to be angry little balls of fur and teeth.

"_You don't have time to engage them all conventionally,"_ Asuka told him._ "Your next target is already here. Are you high enough to go sub-orbital?"_

"_I think so..." _he said.

"_Yes," _Zeruel answered firmly.

"_Do it," _she ordered. _"The Angels will be caught in the blast. They're all in that one group, right?"_

"_It looks like it,"_ Touji muttered, sending the mental signal to start the process.

It was almost a given that the twelve members of SEELE were scattered around the world, as opposed to being in one place, and with only three combat Evas it had been obvious from the start that some method of quickly traversing the globe had to be included in the already heavily-modified fighting machines. In the end, time had been the limiting factor in the redesign of the Evas, and most 'clean' methods of travel would have required a radical change to the existing model. The Angels had been forced to fall back on what was available in the design, that is, S2 engines and AT-fields.

The AT-field could be manipulated in many ways to counteract gravity, but even with complete nullification, the Eva's internal jets could not channel enough power to boost them into orbit, or rather they would get to orbit, eventually. That was not good enough, and so the Angels eventually caved in and settled on the most logical (if also the most dangerous) option. Eject an overloading S2 organ, spread an AT-field, and ride the blast into orbit. Each Eva had been given four S2 organs – one of them was fully grown, and the other three were in a nascent embryonic state.

And so, as the multitude of small killing machines homed in on Unit-03, Touji felt the first of his nascent S2 organs finish the transformation into its fully-grown state. At this point Zeruel took full control of Unit-03's AT-field, properly shaping it to take full advantage of the blast about to occur. He flinched slightly as several of the Angel-chibis latched onto his extended AT-field, but he felt Zeruel's confidence and took strength from it. Seconds later the overloading S2 engine was ejected out behind the rising Eva, and a miniature supernova temporarily lit up the afternoon sky over Nevada.

* * *

Asuka watched with satisfaction as the three rapidly-moving blips of light representing her Units traversed the globe. Only one thing remained, and she felt a faint wave of amusement at the panic NERV was undoubtedly experiencing over the strange circumstances.

"_I've almost got it," _Ritsuko said, forestalling Asuka's question. _"Initiating link-up now..."_

* * *

A sudden cacophony of alarms jolted Misato's already-frazzled nerves, and she turned blood-shot eyes in Maya's direction.

"Commander!" the woman turned. "External intrusion on all bands, it's some kind of virus that's going straight through all our firewalls as if they weren't even there!"

"Origin?" snapped Misato.

"It's... the orbital contact!"

_The three mobile contacts might be the Children, but I don't see how that orbital contact can be anything but an Angel, _Misato thought with a frown_, and nothing else we have will reach it._ _I guess we have no choice after all._

* * *

Terminal Dogma was silent as a tomb except for the relentless dripping of LCL from the un-healing wound in Lilith's chest. The Angel glared at Unit-06, and Unit-06 glared right back, or atleast that is how it may have looked like to an observer. In reality, Lilith had about as much consciousness as an average zombie (Rei's soul being absent for the moment), and Unit-06 was petrified with anxiety. That is, the pilot was petrified, and this carried over to the Eva.

_My first battle,_ thought Keita Asari._ And probably my last._

He was only fourteen, as was usual for Eva pilots, but he was no fool. He did not have as much training as Mana, and likewise he had been given less intel, but he did know that the veteran pilots had been lost in some accident. And he had heard Mana's hysterical conversation over the comm about her contact with Unit-01, which meant the pilots had not been as 'lost' as he had been led to believe.

_Are we going to have to fight the Veterans, or are they on our side?_

_Who exactly is on our side?_

His thoughts were interrupted by Maya's professional voice. "Pilot Asari, you are to retrieve the Lance and proceed directly to the launch platform."

"Yes ma'am." It surprised him that his voice did not tremble, and he took a deep breath as he stepped forward.

* * *

Fuyutski tried, and failed, to contain his disgust and horror as the virtual meeting dragged on. He and the eleven other SEELE members occupied the dark foreboding virtual environment, but three of the twelve tombstone-like representations were now blank, indicating the life-pulse of its SEELE member had ceased. He and the other remaining members watched a holograph in the center of the virtual room that showed the blue-armored Unit-00 as it tore apart the two Mass-Production Series Evas in a stunning display of martial arts prowess, leaving the wounded Angel free to continue towards the SEELE member it was tracking.

"You people are insane!" Fuyutski whispered.

"Ah, so you have finally realized your glorious fate!" the high-pitched nasal whine was as irritating as ever. "Human complementation will proceed even without that traitor Ikari," the SEELE member sniggered. "...and even if it does not, one of our members will survive. Now that you have undergone the initiation ritual and joined our ranks, the Angel meant to kill him will instead kill you. SEELE will live on, regardless of the outcome of today's battles..."

"You think Commander Katsuragi," he paused, trying to picture that in his mind. They had given him access to a surprising amount of information, which had told him just how long they expected him to live. "...you think she will cooperate with you when Gendo would not?"

"Her willingness does not matter," a gravelly voice intoned. "Behold! She has already presented us with the Lance of Longinus. Our time will soon be at hand..."

Fuyutski could only stare helplessly at the aerial feed showing a black and yellow Evangelion emerging from a launch point, the recognizable shape of the Lance in its hands. He found it exceedingly ironic that the Children he used to command would indirectly be involved in his death, even if they had no way of knowing.

_Atleast I've lived long enough to see a few of these bastards die, _he sighed in resignation. _I've lived a full life, but I hope the Children get through this somehow. Even if it is... like that._

He shuddered, remembering Shinji's tale of Third Impact, and how he had awoken next to Asuka, the two of them being the last remaining physical humans.

"Yes, tremble," a baritone voice intoned. "There is not a single person at NERV who even knows you are alive, much less where you are."

* * *

"...hah-... ...-aachyii!" Misato managed to bring a tissue to her face in time to contain the sneeze, and the piece of paper with Fuyutski's coordinates on it drifted off the armrest of her chair and to the floor. This brief moment of respite was soon gone, however, and the NERV technicians continued defending their computer systems from Asuka's attempts at communication.

* * *

One other person sneezed (since he also knew Fuyutski's whereabouts), and his circumstances did not go so well.

"...uh..."

_Crap!_

Kaji brought his hands up to cover his mouth and nose, but the sneeze found its way between his fingers.

"...huhFLGPHFSH!"

The triple-(quadruple?)-agent had been exfiltrating the SEELE facility from which he had obtained Fuyutski's location, and the sudden sound alerted the guard he had just passed.

"Huh? Hey! You there-URK!"

Kaji's silenced pistol made about as much noise as his sneeze, but the results were a bit deadlier.

_Crap. Now I have to run..._

* * *

Shinji dodged a vicious blow that would have severed one or more of his limbs, leaping backwards desperately to give himself room as he faced his enraged foe. This particular Angel had just finished killing chairman Kihl rather messily, though Shinji did not know this. The creature before him was vaguely reminiscent of the ninth, except for the fact that it had twice as many legs, a stronger AT-field, and a much nastier disposition. Setting his rifle to its maximum throughput, he triggered a beam of destruction that tore up the ground with its passing, uprooting what few trees were still standing in the general area. Unfortunately the horrific thread of death did more damage to the surroundings than to its intended target. The air between the two combatants went mirror-solid, and a pulsating hexagon of light deflected the particle beam into the sky where it tore a hole through the thin cloud layer before diffusing into the atmosphere.

"_Shinji, you can't let that thing get away!" _Asuka's stressed-out voice pushed its way into his mind._ "There's a city two klicks to the south of you, and two more three klicks west, with suburbs stretching between them. If the Angel gets anywhere near..."_

"_Roger!"_

Shinji gritted his teeth as one of the Angel's legs flashed forward too fast for him to dodge, its razor-sharp claw penetrating his hastily-raised defensive AT-field and ripping a gouge into his chest armor. Red warnings immediately began flashing, and he winced as a jolt of agony shot through his midsection, his rifle falling to the ground in two pieces.

_Penetration of the S2 storage chamber, that's not good!_ he thought, desperately redirecting as much energy as he could to repair the damaged area. He felt Kaworu take over the more mundane task, and he sent the Angel his thanks as he turned back to the battle at hand.

Ignoring the searing pain, he drew a prog-knife from its hidden sheath-chamber and thrust it into the exposed body of his opponent. He shoved it in as far as he could reach, and then leaped back as the wounded creature instinctively contracted around the source of its pain.

It was only a moment, but that was all Shinji needed to reach around to his back and draw his progressive lance. Despite the pain it was obviously experiencing, the Angel come forward a couple of steps and aimed a decapitating blow towards the Eva's head. The blade at the end of the lance extended and then blurred red as it activated, and with a complicated flourish, the boy deflected the Angel's strike and slashed the offending leg off at its base. After this brief skirmish, both wounded combatants began circling each other warily, each trying to assess the other's combat worthiness.

"_Our main S2 engine is intact, and I've managed to salvage a single S2 organelle,"_ Kaworu informed him. _"Which means we can only make one more jump. After that we would have to regenerate an organ from scratch, which would take time and almost complete immobility."_

"_Time we don't have, and immobility equates to suicide at the moment,"_ Shinji mused, dodging a strike as he fended off his attacker. Simple math spelled out the trouble they were in. This was his second Angel, which meant he had two more left to fight. But he could only make a single jump.

* * *

Misato's mind raced as she tried to keep up with everything that was being reported to her. She had long since abandoned her chair and was pacing around the Command Bridge.

_Targets are appearing three at a time, and these unknown Evas are dealing with them. Why? If they Angels are on the Children's side, why are they fighting?_

_The Angels are after something... and after they complete their mission, the Evas kill them. Roundabout logic, but it's the only thing that makes sense._

She idly noted the three newest Angel contacts that had popped up on-screen, their coordinates being listed on Maya's screen.

_And the base computers are under attack from the orbital contact._

_How does that play into the rest of this? I know it has to, I can feel it._

_It appeared with the other contacts, and they haven't attacked it, so is it really not an Angel?_

_Then why is it attacking the computers?_

Something else niggled at the back of her mind, and her foot tapped the piece of paper that had fallen to the floor. She picked it up absentmindedly, reading the numbers one more time.

_Fuyutski's location. Fuyutski's..._

She ran over to Maya's station and read the latest three Angel coordinates. They were the same. One of the Angels had appeared at Fuyutski's location.

"Ma'am!" Aoba turned. "The computer-intrusion has stopped..."

At that moment, a familiar female voice came over the comm systems of Central Dogma.

"...ey! Respond! Hellooo, anybody down there?"

"Asuka!?" Misato exclaimed.

"Ah, hello!"

* * *

Shinji did not exactly have a lot of free time to listen to the chatter on the battle-net, but a corner of his mind heard Misato's exclamation, and Asuka's warning that a bunch of contacts were converging on Tokyo-3. At this, he began to pay a little more attention, though he wasn't quite conscious of it as he and the Angel continued their deadly dance.

"Commander Katsuragi, is that Asuka? As in Asuka Sohryu?" an unfamiliar female voice from Misato's comm connection into the battle-net. "Is she in one of the super-Evas?" It was Mana, but he had no way of knowing this. The girl was still in her F-Type equipment, on her way back to Japan.

By this time he had lopped off another of the spider's legs, and had in turn received a deep thigh wound that had begun to slow him down. In the background he heard a flurry of reports in NERV HQ about 'Unit-06' failing to respond to control input due to its dummy-plug system activating, but it wasn't until the horrified scream sounded over the comm system that Shinji put all the pieces together. A faint warning pulsed on his display, the energies of what was happening halfway across the world were that strong. Fourth Impact.

"What??" yelled Asuka.

"I said, we put the S2 engine from the Ninth Angel into Unit-06," Misato's voice was frantic.

"Why?!"

"It was either that, or SEELE would have replaced me," the woman replied helplessly. "Besides, we didn't even know if you were okay, we had to be prepared in case..."

Shinji did not need to hear any more, and Kaworu did not try to reason with him. Unit-01 switched almost all of its AT-field over to flight, and leaped into the air as his opponent slashed two claws through the space his midsection had occupied a split second earlier. His foe had not been prepared for such an aerial maneuver, and looked up in surprise for a moment. Shinji flung his prog-lance down with all his strength, pinning the Angel to the ground for a precious few seconds as Unit-01 rose into the sky.

"_The system was never meant to be used this close to the ground," _Kaworu finally spoke.

"_It doesn't have to be pretty,"_ Shinji's voice was dead calm. _"Just get us there as quickly as possible."_

Kaworu ejected the S2 engine, and the Angel below had just enough time to free itself and take a step before the overloading power source pancaked it into the ground. The massive bloom of energy roiled chaotically, expanding in all directions in a lumpy explosion as the Angel's own death knell added an unstable element into Kaworu's hurried calculations.

"_The AT-field is losing coherence..."_ His guardian's words were lost as Unit-01 rode the wave of destruction up into the atmosphere and into a shallow sub-orbital path towards Japan. Shinji almost lost consciousness from the blast of pain that assaulted the entire rear of his body, but he managed to stay synched with Kaworu, which was the only thing that saved his life.

* * *

Interlude

The SEELE member flinched as he heard the door to his temporary NERV quarters hiss open, knowing he had waited a moment too long. He closed his laptop with a sigh as he heard the click of a service automatic, then felt the cold steel kiss his neck.

"Killing me will not stop what is happening, Commander." His voice was silky smooth and even.

"I find you guilty." Misato's voice was like ice.

"Of what?" the man asked, slightly curious.

"Of all the crap I've been through since Second Impact."

"Do I get an appeal?" he asked, slight amusement in his voice. _One should never lose one's sense of humor, no matter how dire the circum..._

"You just did," the raven-haired woman grated out. "Denied."

The gunshot rang loudly in the enclosed chamber.

End Interlude

* * *

Shinji came to himself. He was weightless, naked, and warm. In someone's arms. And someone was in his arms. He opened his eyes, and found himself looking into Asuka's deep blue orbs, their foreheads almost touching. They were surrouded by the familiar blankness of a constructed pseudo-reality.

"_Instrumentality?"_ his mind touched hers, and a feeling of dread filled him.

"_...yes."_ He sensed the fear and apprehension in her single-word answer, and a tangle of other emotions that he could not decipher. _"Is... this really so bad?"_ she asked quietly._ "It's only temporary. Arael said..."_

Shinji closed his eyes, trying to brace himself for the inevitable onslaught he knew was coming, knowing at the same time it was a useless gesture.

"_Please, don't close yourself off from me, this is already... frightening enough as it is..."_ She was shivering in his arms. Or perhaps it was he who was shaking.

_I'm not going through this again._

_Is she even real?_

_I can't take this any more._

_I'm... too tired._

_Tired of... everything._

He knew he was not in control this time, and even with all the control, and Rei helping him, he had barely escaped with a few shreds of his sanity the last time.

"_Please." _Something about her tone touched him, and he opened his eyes. _"...don't give up on me."_ Her own eyes had tears in them, and he closed his again, unable to face her. She tightened her arms around his waist, and he couldn't help but be aware of her ample chest pressing against him. He was surprised to still be in this comforting place. It wasn't like Third Impact, atleast not yet, and he kept waiting for things to shift, or change suddenly.

_For you,_ he decided. _Even if you're not real, I don't care any more. This moment is real. I'm tired of trying to figure out what's a lie and what's not._

When he leaned forward an inch and put his mouth to hers, he felt her jump slightly, and then she melted into him. As his tongue explored the roof of her mouth, he raised a hand up her back and ran his fingers through her silky red hair. She moaned as they moved against each other, and he felt her complete surrender, followed by a torrent of memories not his own.

Asuka as a child,

...the few scattered memories of her mother before her accident.

The rejection, and the utter blackness that consumed her.

The small girl throwing herself into her training, eager, desperate to do something, anything to convince her mother to recognize her.

Her mother's death. Or her second death, considering the woman had basically been dead to Asuka since the accident.

Even as small as she was, the girl knew what she was seeing, when she walked in on her mother's dead form. Walked in with the news that would surely cause her mother to pay attention. News of her acceptance as a pilot...

Like the rings of a tree, Asuka had built up her armor around that initial hurt, and the ones that followed, desperate to keep the painful memories in, and any possible future hurt, out.

Watching her meetings and encounters with him and the others throughout NERV from her perspective, it all made so much more sense, and he felt his own eyes fill with tears.

One memory from her burned its way through him, the short time of happiness following his recovery out of Unit-01 after defeating Zeruel. His own memory of meeting Rei collided with her version, where she watched them from the other end of the train station, and accepted the fact that she had lost the boy to a doll.

_Rei..._

The name fell like a droplet of water to his soul, causing ripples to slowly spread and dissipate. Asuka tensed against him, and he froze.

_Wait a minute. _Comprehension dawned on him atlast. _This isn't Fourth Impact, it feels more like what happened when Rei and I..._

_It can't be. It's not possible..._

He could sense the hurt Asuka was going through, and he cursed his muddleheadedness as she began to withdraw from him reflexively.

"_No, wait...!"_

He knew words were useless. She had just opened her soul to him, and he had unknowingly treated it with the worst disrespect imaginable. As if she wasn't even real... There was no possible way for him to explain, and so he opened himself to her in the same way, hoping against hope she could find in him something, anything, that would allow her to understand. He knew that if she wanted to, she could use all his secrets to torment him endlessly, but he did not care. He waited, not even daring to breath, wondering if the next thing he would feel was the harsh blankness of being alone in this empty reality.

He felt her shift, and gasped as he opened his eyes, finding that she had raised her right hand to his cheek, and was looking at him as if she could see right through him. The pain was still there, but he knew it, had shared in it all his life.

"_I forgive you,"_ she said, closing her eyes and laying her cheek against his, their tears mingling as she pulled him closer with her other arm._ "I won't leave you. I've been alone my whole life, and so have you. How could I put you through that again just out of spite?"_

"_I don't... deserve you,"_ he mentally sent to her, and he felt her mental chuckle.

"_Of course you don't."_ Her voice had regained a shadow of the former cheerfulness he knew from her. _"Consider this payback for every time you saved me in the resets,"_ she said, her tone containing a hint of mischief.

"_Wait, what..."_

* * *

The remaining memories came all in a jumble.

His own last coherent images as he impacted Unit-06 and the Tree of Sephiroth. By this point Unit-01 had been almost completely under Kaworu's control, and the Angel had guided it with deadly precision.

Asuka's point of view as the Lance of Longinus fractured into pieces. It had been in the process of enveloping the captured Unit-06, and the part already covering the black-and-yellow machine seemed to shatter as the synchronicity of the Eva Series was suddenly broken.

Asuka's voice as she gave the other Evas their final targets, and warned Touji about Fuyutski's situation,

then de-orbited, her panic almost a physical thing as she felt Shinji slipping away.

Misato's voice, through her Asuka's comm, trying to contact Unit-06's pilot.

A surreal vision of Unit-00 walking through the dark corridors of Terminal Dogma, Lilith's placid form in her arms.

Misato looking on as Maya cut the life-support to what was left of the languishing Ninth Angel.

"_Shinji, relax. They're all safe. Just relax..."_

"_Keiko and the others...?"_

"_Safe. At NERV. I ejected their entry plug, and Misato retrieved it. Please..."_

Shinji finally relented, resting in Asuka's embrace as the barriers separating who they were continued to dissolve.

* * *

The room was a stark white cube of emptiness, but when the door slid open, observers gave it form. Two observers, one male fourteen year old, and another body-switched clone with blond hair. He smiled, and she huffed.

"When I get back control of the room configuration, you'll pay."

It wasn't precisely a threat, and he knew it.

"You're just mad the Angels kept it just the way it was," he retorted.

"Well, we weren't gone for that long..."

"You don't know that, actually. Time..."

"...I know."

A moment of silence.

"Have you thought about what you intend to do now...?"

"Now?"

"...that SEELE and the Angels are..."

"I've been thinking about teaching in University."

A delicate female snort showed how much she thought of the idea.

"Hey...!"

"No, no, don't let me stop you." She spoke matter-of-factly.

After another moment of silence, he spoke. "What about you, then?"

"I've been considering retirement," she answered archly.

"Hah!"

"Now who's making fun?"

"You have as much chance of retiring as I have of becoming a professor."

Silence.

"That's not true," she answered. "And you'll make a fine professor."

"You won't be retiring, either."

"Probably not."

There was a long pause, and the two finally gave voice to what they were avoiding with useless conversation.

"Has she awoken?"

"No, Kensuke. But Rei is with her."

* * *

Asuka opened her eyes. Or was that 'his' eyes? Reaching up to her chest she took a moment to confirm her womanhood. Yep, 'her' eyes. It was... odd, feeling Shinji alongside her in one body. Odd, yet at the same time, somewhat comforting. She decided it wasn't as inhuman as she had anticipated.

_Or maybe this whole mess has made me less human, so I can't tell,_ she thought, shivering slightly. Looking down, she saw Rei's sleeping form, sitting in a chair, her head resting on the bed, her face calm. She reached over and took one of the albino's hands, causing her to stir, and lift herself with a small murmur.

"You're awake." Rei made the useless observation with a slight smile on her face, and happiness in her heart.

"How long?" Asuka asked, and Rei took a moment to decipher the somewhat vague question.

"It will take two more days to complete the salvage process," Rei finally answered. "Until then, you will have to make do." The humor in her words was obvious.

"Make do?" Asuka sat up, unconsciously pulling the sheet up to cover herself, though the two of them were the only ones present. "What're you talking about, I didn't let Shinji turn me into a guy..." The words died in her mouth as her red locks fell over her shoulders as she came fully upright. Or more accurately, her formerly red locks. Her long hair was now completely black. "Damn it, Third, give me back my hair!" she yelled, fingering the offending black strands as she contemplated several suitable punishments.

"_As soon as you give me back my body,"_ his ethereal answer drifted through her consciousness.

"I'm not the one who took your body!" she shrieked, thoroughly enjoying the good rant.

"_Yes you did. You took it and brought it right back here."_ There was a pause. _"I'm grateful for that, by the way."_

Her mouth finally cracked into a smile as the door to the room slid open revealing a female Angel with flowing ash-blond hair dressed in the familiar white Angelic garb they knew so well.

"Ah, you're awake." Her pleasant voice filled the room as she walked over and put her hand on Asuka's forehead.

The girl crossed her eyes looking up at the hand. It was doubtful the Angel was doing anything so mundane as checking her temperature.

"I see your hitchhiker is doing well," the Angel pronounced cheerily. "It's truly wonderful how malleable humans are."

"He'll be back in his own body in two days?" Asuka asked, just to be sure.

"If all goes well," the Angel replied, her eyes dancing with delight at the girl's slightly perturbed expression.

"If you can do this kind of thing for us, why not for the four Angels in the Evas we piloted?" Asuka asked cautiously, hoping she wasn't treading on a taboo subject.

"Sadly our knowledge of our own physiology is not as complete as our knowledge of the human being. Or should I say, our own anatomy is far more complex than that of humans."

Asuka turned away, staring at the wall, lost in thought.

_I wonder if I'll ever be able to truly thank her for what she's done for us._

The memory of Arael's constant forlorn expression from before she had downloaded herself into the Eva still haunted her.

_She knew the entire time, and I was so obsessed with my own problems, I didn't even bother to ask the right questions._

* * *

Epilogue

The forest of white grave-posts stretched into the distance all around as far as the eye could see, each one solitary in its remembrance of a lost loved one, yet all together sharing in the pain of those left behind. The postmodern cemetery was far different from its more contemporary counterparts of previous decades, but it shared one thing in common with them – a silence bordering almost on the holy, broken only by the mournful whisper of wind among the upright markers.

Four souls stood before one of the white grave-posts, watching as the setting sun cast its last rays onto the marker's white surface. As the earth turned, the waning light slowly moved down the white pole, as if the grave-marker was a candle that was slowly burning down.

Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu

Follow Me

The two words below the name might have seemed morbid to the casual observer, but to the four keeping vigil on this particular night, they carried deep and lasting meaning. She held his hand, and he did not have to look over to know that tears glistened in his wife's eyes. His other hand was resting on his daughter's head, and the small girl's solemn features as she stood before the grave belied her five years of age. Her blue hair was several shades darker than that of her biological mother, but every so often, seeing the blue hair and his young daughter's carefully neutral expression brought back such memory that he had to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat.

The waning rays of sunlight pooled at the bottom of the grave-post, finally disappearing as the evening gave way to night. The blue-haired child gave a questioning look at her father, who nodded slightly, a smile creasing his care-worn features. Her neutral expression lit up as she sensed that the 'moment' was over.

"Kyo-chan!" she whispered, and her sibling slid her hand from her mother's and joined her, the two of them turning and wordlessly agreeing to an impromptu race to the small grove of trees in the distance behind.

The two young adults watched their offspring for a few moments before turning back to the grave. Shinji's eyes drifted up to the almost-full shining white orb that hung in the night sky, giving its light to those who were below.

"Every time I see the moon, I think of her," he murmured.

It had been over a year since the calm half-Angel with laughing eyes had finally taken her leave of the earth. She had become more cheerful and carefree since the birth of her daughter, but despite that, the young child had somehow inherited her mother's early introversion, though perhaps not to the same degree.

"She'll be back," Asuka insisted. "She said so. She... needed to return to Avalon, if only to discover more about her heritage. It was inevitable, you know that." They had discussed this many times before, and he nodded, squeezing her hand gently. At one point in her life, Asuka would have felt more than a touch of jealousy, but she could not feel so now. Not while Shinji's love for her was playing in the trees behind them. Not while she missed Rei just as much herself. The two of them stood silent for several minutes more, and then the silence was broken by an insect-like buzzing that emanated from his pocket. He withdrew slightly away from the grave before answering the cell-phone.

"Hey, Shinji! It's been a while, I know, but how are you?"

"Kensuke."

The young man's face broke into a smile at his friend's usual slightly hyperactive voice. "It hasn't been that long, actually. Not more than I few months, I'd guess, right? You still working on your memoirs?"

"Yeah, actually that's why I was calling. Do you have time to get together over coffee or something? I still had a few questions..."

"You're too young to be writing memoirs, you know," Shinji said with a laugh. "How many meetings have we had now?" His voice held a hint of amusement. "I'm pretty sure I've told you just about everything that happened before you entered the resets..."

"Yeah, I know," the young professor continued excitedly, "but Fuyutski-Sensei and I were reading over the notes one more time, and... Hello? You there?"

Shinji had stopped paying attention the instant he felt the feather-light mental caress, and he looked up into the sky, hope blooming inside him at the familiar touch. A feeling of warmth enveloped him as his heart sang with joy, and it did not startle him in the slightest when he began to rise into the air. He glanced down, but seconds later he felt his wife's hand in his, and his happiness was complete.

"...but Kyo-chan and Ma-chan..." he began, the two pausing in mid-air and looking back towards the grove of trees.

"Look!" she said, pointing. A sense of relief filled him when he saw the two children holding hands as they rose into the air after their parents. Mayumi had a serene expression on her face, and her sister was trying her best not to look around in wonder. Glowing softly with an inner light, the four individuals floated up into the night sky towards the future.

* * *

From the Diary of Kensuke Aida

They floated up into the sky and met Rei, and then all five of them disappeared in a flash of light. The only reason I know this much is that Shinji never ended our call, and Hikari swears he did that intentionally so we'd have some idea of where he had gone. The phone's video and audio were poor quality, but Rit-chan and I had access to some pretty high-end computer equipment through our government connections, and we made good use of it. Near as we can tell from Shinji's broken dialogue, something happened in Avalon concerning the resets, and Rei asked them all to join her there. We wouldn't even know that much if Shinji hadn't spoken aloud, because I'm almost sure the rest of them were communicating telepathically. They were all crying, but Shinji was the only one who said anything out loud, and I can't see such a happy reunion taking place in silence.

Ritsuko and Hikari have led quite a few rousing arguments with Touji and me about what kind of mindset would drive a family to 'abandon' their planet of birth, and their parents, and take their children with them to an alien world, and to a point I can see why they don't understand. Rit-chan and I, and Touji and Hikari, we settled down to a relatively normal routine after returning to earth following that final battle with SEELE, but I don't think the Sohryu family ever felt truly at home here after all that had happened.

It's not that they were unhappy. After the marriage between the three of them, and especially after their two daughters were born, the family was as happy and close-knit as any I've seen. And that's the point I try to get Rits and the others to see – that they are happy with each other, wherever they are. Long before they married, while we were still in the midst of the resets, I think they had already come to terms with Rei's origin, and how it might affect their future.

Shinji and I talked quite a bit, and even though he never truly opened up completely about it, I know about Rei's identity crisis, and how she felt cut off from both her birth-worlds. I personally think the resets did the same kind of thing to Shinji and Asuka, enabling them to understand how Rei felt, and sad as it might sound to an outsider, I think the entire family was of one mind in this. I personally don't think it's sad. As Shinji would say (did say, actually, back during one of our post-Third-Impact meetings) it's just reality, and we have to accept it. All we have are their words as to what happened during the resets before we came in, and like I try to tell the others, we'll never truly know just what they went through.

I think the hardest part for me was having to return Penpen to Misato and Kaji. The way she looked at Rits and I, it almost felt as if the Sohryu's absence had not been real to her until we returned her pet penguin. As if that had made it final. Perhaps until Penpen's return, she could make herself believe that they were still there, taking care of her penguin, just a short drive away.

After Misato and Kaji, Mana was probably the most depressed, and it really was interesting how she managed to weave herself into our little group. She was the only outsider Shinji and the others ever really got close with, and I know his sudden departure hit her hard. I know she visits Touji and Hikari pretty often these days, and knowing Touji, he's 'comforting' her with stories about how he was always left out of things too.

I've talked with Shinji's parents, and the reactions from the two of them lead me to believe they knew something like this was coming for quite some time, maybe even from the beginning. They're another special case, I think. That they even got to see each other again was a miracle, from Shinji's story of the original time-line, and they seem to treat every day as a gift. In any case, they got to see the first five years of their two grandchildren's lives, which I know brought them immense joy.

Like it or not, the world has been changed because of what we've done, and I'm not talking about the time-line changes alone. After SEELE's death, a lot of NERV's secrets were somehow leaked to the public, including my own mental AT-field research. Beyond that, once our little group came back into contact with the rest of the world, the activated genes some of us had began to spread. I personally think it was Keiko that began that, after she re-entered school upon her return from Avalon. She truly was still a child, and in her innocence I believe she began making mental connections with her friends. I've researched the spread of the 'gifts' as they've been called, and it's usually just empathy or mild telepathy, depending on the person and the strength of the bond, but there have been documented cases recently of feats that surely indicate that a few people have been able to physically manifest their AT-field to some degree.

It actually makes me wonder if the old men of SEELE are laughing in their graves. Perhaps eventually the whole world will be bonded in some degree, and SEELE's end result will be seen after all. Maybe by then we as a species will be ready for it. I do know we're not ready now.

As is the case with human nature, dividing lines have already been drawn between the 'Techs', the 'Naturals', and the 'Mundanes', and while it pains me to see my invention used to start something akin to class warfare, I'm sure it had to have hurt Shinji and the others even more to see such an intimate connection cause such division.

The government has already gotten involved, both in trying to regulate the spread of what amounts to mind-reading equipment, and in trying to better understand and deal with the enigmatic 'gifts' the Naturals seem to possess. As horrifying as it sounds, there has even been idle talk of sending all the Naturals off to Mars, now that the planet is in the process of being terraformed. Of course such a notion is absurd, but I'm sure it's one of the reasons Shinji and his family began to withdraw from their dealings with the world, and in retrospect, it may have in part been what prompted Rei to return to Avalon.

Humans being who they are, there will always be war and divisions between classes of people, but I can sympathize with Shinji's decision to step through the gates of time once more. Who knows, maybe what he's doing over there is somehow related to the turmoil here on earth. In any case, Rits and the others are happy enough to settle down and have a family, and truth be told, as long as they're happy, I'm happy. Even so, I often find myself stargazing, as my three fellow pilots used to do, and as I look up into the sky full of stars and possibilities, I find myself hoping I'll meet them again, somewhere in time and space. I know they'll have a great story, and I'm ready to write it.

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, that's it for now. Everything critical is wrapped up to some degree, but possibilities are left open for the future. I'm considering several options, including a separate rewrite, and perhaps a sequel (the state of the world after the last battle, and especially at the end with the entire planet embroiled in the troubles of the 'gifts' and Kensuke's invention makes for interesting story ideas), but I'm leaving this copy alone, because even if it is rough in places, I think it stands okay on its own.

Fanf1cfan helped preread this last chapter, which greatly helped. It was the most important, I think, so I'm glad I didn't have to do it alone.

Commander Galos, wherever you are, I appreciated your thorough reviews and all the interesting ideas and possibilities you came up with. Hopefully you're still here at the end, just silent.

gamer, thanks for pointing out so many of the loose ends I might have missed later on in the story, I enjoyed the thought and time you put into figuring out some of the more arcane references (to tell the truth, I wasn't sure if anyone at all would get the independence day one, heh. It seemed out of place, somewhat out of character, and yet it just kind of fit the humor I was going for in that part of the story arc. Wow, that was a long time ago in the story when there was actually humor lol)

Rose, your warmth and encouragement was uplifting.

Extinction's End, your 'Rei as Gendo' idea still tickles me whenever I think about it, and it probably deserves its own story, or atleast a one-shot that's more detailed than my omake. More ideas for the future, I guess. We'll see if inspiration strikes.

ZeroJMB, you were probably the review that pushed me over the edge into the threesome, though I was leaning that way anyway. I have no idea where the story would be without those three bouncing off each other.

Pyro, (waits for him to ask if it's over ;-p)

Ryu-Tyrrant, may you derive pleasure in the furry killings of SEELE members, and Misato's Revenge

Morrow-kun, bittersweet happy ending for Rei! (glee)

Miner603, congratulations on the correct guess ;-)


End file.
